Change Your Image
jasir_arafat
Reviews
Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010)
The Hilarity
"i know lizards. alligators and crocodiles are mortal enemies."
The first 5 minutes have to be among the funniest TV ever created. There is no introduction, no dialogs, just getting down to action filled business. It actually just starts with these words from the large breasted head scientist: "everybody out now. it's escaped." than a wall just explodes and the SUPERgiant SUPERcgi SUPERgator dashes after some white suited "scientists". one of the scientist screams while being swallowed whole with one bite and the subtitles actually say: "Ah!". That was at least a three A scream. There even is a slow motion sequence of the SUPERgator snatching for some sweet sciency meat. Meanwhile the large breasted one phones Kung Fu to establish the "real" monster. (humanity? who would have thought?!) Shortly after that another wall explodes and DINOcroc joins the party. So absurd, so surreal, I laughed my ass off.
The same scene is later used again, this time in black and white for a flashback. It was even funnier.
There are some scenes that have to make their way into the hilarious horror hall of fame.
1. the waterfall scene. not only gets the guy snatched by the SUPERgator from below while standing knee deep in a puddle, but also the girl doesn't hear a 10 foot high DINOcroc sneaking up from behind. Amazing!!
2. here comes the cavalry. black-suits, of course. except one, who wears camouflage. my explanation is: they ran out of costumes, so they got one that was laying around from another movie. another evidence for this is that they have a strange assortment of weaponry. also, the way how they fire their guns is ridiculous, the black guy keeps jiggling it like crazy, right before he and one other call for extraction conveniently standing with their backs to a body of water...
3. the whirlpool scene. some wishful thinking there. A rich Horror director with two busty ladies? He should have gone all the way and call the guy Jim Wynorski.
4. the sheriff's death. they use the same cgi footage of the croc running past the strange brown shag THREE TIMES with only seconds between. it takes the lightning fast SUPERgator, who can at other times outrun a car exactly 60 (!) seconds to cross the 5m gap. That was so amazing, when the daughter tried to pull her father away, i was on the floor dying of laughter.
5. the showdown. you just have to see it to believe it. all i can say is this: when the dinosaurs try to take over the world again, we'll have some sugar ready.
In short: amazing entertainment, you cant tell me that SyFy doesn't want these movies to be exactly like this.
Part Horror! Part Comedy! All Awesome!
and watch out. on SyFy, later this year, it is PIRANHACONDA. Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! F*ck Yeah.
Constance (1998)
wrong point of view
just a short comment about the vote. click on it and realize the difference between male and female votes... this is porn for women, so you shouldn't overestimate this. i saw the movie (with my girlfriend) and it was refreshing, a very different, but interesting reinvention of probably the oldest movie genre.
it is also very important to understand the idea behind the production of this movie which is described in a manifesto ("THE PUZZY POWER MANIFESTO"). to give you a general understanding, here are the key ideas:
{quote}
1.Plot - The films must have plots. Individual sequences must be linked into a logical chain of emotions, fantasies, passion... The plot must be about something erotic, it must not be too extensive
2.Eroticism - Feelings, passions, sensuality, intimacy, and the lead-up must be emphasized.
3.Visual style - We must see the beauty of the body... The body need not be completely naked, as partial concealment can be far more erotic.
4.Setting - Time and place are not crucial; what matters is what happens in the films.
5. Humour Subtle humour is welcome,...but fun must not be poked at the sexual act itself.
6. What is not allowed There are no restrictions on what may be depicted in the films as long as it is presented in an acceptable way. The only limit is that women must not be subjected to violence or coercion against their will.
7.What we hate … is the oral sex scene where the woman is coerced to perform fellatio, her hair pulled hard, and come is squirted into her face.
{unquote}
I hope this information will help you understand this movie and why man looking for porn would probably give it a bad vote. I won't vote or judge, because i am a man and this is clearly not made for me to enjoy. it's for my girlfriend to enjoy and for me to enjoy her afterwards
Re: Brand (2002)
What the hell is going on
That's exactly the question you will ask yourself 5 min into every episode. First, let's clear what it is. This is not comedy, it's not a documentary, it's obviously heavily improvised. It doesn't fit in any category. I would like to call it funny and shocking reality TV.
So what's it about? I would say it's about taboos in relationships and society and especially the breaking of taboos. I don't want to spoil you anything, but you will see Russell do and say things you will never see anybody else do or say, not on TV and probably not in reality.
This series is a voyage through the demented and horrible truths, everybody is trying to avoid thinking about. Questions that arise from our deepest minds, but we would never dare to ask: "Does my father really love me?" "Why do people hate? And are haters really different from us?" "Why do people fail in life and why don't we help them to stand up again?" "Why do we keep old people like they are already dead?" "Aren't we all afraid of waking up in a wheelchair?" and last but not least, the one question Russell answered finally for everybody: "Is there such a thing as sexual identity?" Watch this series, but especially the first and the last episode will leave you breathless or even crying...
What the hell is going on? 10 out of 10 for the most courageous show I've ever seen.