heartdriven

City Rats (2009)

I had a big laugh (eventually)

This was the worst, most pretentious load of absolute inane rubbish I have ever had the misfortune to watch.

Luckily, however I managed to get my £3's worth (that's what it cost in Tescos) by watching 'the making of City Rats' in the extras part of the DVD. This was hysterical. The horrible, misogynistic and clearly sexually perverted director is on the biggest ego trip of his life and has managed to drag everyone else on this production along with it like some pied piper of doom.

There are some great lines like 'I did some research - I'll miss playing Chris' (James Lance, the bloke with the bit part in Alan Partridge, on his thoroughly embarrassing portrayal of an autistic homosexual - Hoffman you are most certainly not).

'I read a lot of sh*t scripts - but they are made into a success by big Hollywood actors' - Hussan. True... but this script is the most sh*t one ever and it's only got you in it so that's even worse.

Danny Dyer said some really funny things too (in that sort of I'm trying to be a serious method actor kind of a way) and the guy out of that dull mid 90's Asian family on Eastenders definitely got the top w*nker award but I've forgotten what both of them said right now and I can't face watching it again so you'll have to check it out for yourself..

My favourite quote however is from the 1st AD (I think it was) who said... 'This is the part of the DVD you watch when you've watched the film so many times and you think there must be something else on here to watch.' I suggest he reads the first review of this film I ever read which says... 'I would rather f*st my own dead grandmother than watch this film again.'

What started as a thoroughly depressing waste of an hour and a half of my life turned into a hysterically funny evening (albeit helped by a half a bottle of Jack Daniels). Buy this DVD (but try and get it for less than the £3 I paid) and have a laugh at the expense of everyone's inflated and misplaced egotistical ramblings on the 'making of'. It just shows you what happens when a bunch of failed trustafarian film students in Notting Hill actually achieve what they have been threatening to do for the last 10 years once armed with daddy's cheque book.