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jejohnson2244
Reviews
Hav Plenty (1998)
I Applaud Cherot
Not because he's a black director, mainly because this is an enjoyable movie. First things first, the camera needed to learn how to shut off at times but for 500,000 bucks whats the point, I mean power is such a primitive word for the budget. That is what stomped me, the amount used yet still an amazingly good film. The main character was very funny and kept the sarcasm at such a likable way that you couldn't hate him. The plot is average but that is what the acting makes up for. All I say is great movie, fun characters and pretty original, especially for a romantic comedy in this era full of black romantic films. Hav Plenty is a film that will not disappoint in both laughter and intelligence.
Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010)
I don't know why did you get married too
From the rate I see it, there is no hope for Perry as he keeps milking cast mates talent for his own crap. Lord knows I don't hate Tyler Perry himself, I hate his work. Why did this even have a sequel? I know the answer, to make more money that's right to make more freaking money. The first one which I reviewed on here was good for certain reasons, this on the other hand freaking sucked. Black Folks or Afro People whatever you would like to be called, this man is showing how much power he has over all of us and flashes it in out face when he puts out this crap and we slob all over it like a hungry bums at a all you can eat buffet, my god this is getting old. Whenever I go to a Tyler Perry movie and black people can't even laugh at the jokes you know your formula is played out. If people pay attention, its obvious this man has a vendetta against black men, he just won't admit it. Also why does he give these black women lighter men of skin complexion? Is he saying that the lighter the person, the more faithful they become, what a load of horse crap. Bottom line movie sucked, Perry is played out.
Meet the Browns (2009)
Meet The Browns
I met the browns alright, when I got off the commode. Perry just says just put faith in god and he will make it better, well depending on god I think he lost faith a long time AGO. Lets face it the more I watch this crap, the more my head hurts and yes it literally hurts bad. How on earth can this be considered entertainment when a strange bald headed gorilla highlighter and his gray haired daughter (who by the way is the actor's wife, don't want to know what they do at night)are constantly acting like idiots? I just can't tell it because it freaking makes me sick. Another thing, his nephew and niece in law are as boring as they can get especially the girl who plays their daughter. The first girl I guess wasn't boring enough so he got the most blandest actress I've ever seen in my life and guess what, neither one of them can ACT. I bet when Jesus watches this show he literally just pukes and says "forget it this show ain't worth me dying for the sins of no man, I need some holy water for my sight to wash this crap induced show out my in the name of myself". Just one Heep of warning, This show will take your soul and beat it, stomp it, and slap it in the name of Jesus then say in Jesus name amen then send you to hell. P.S. This show sucks my dew dew crack.
Taxi Driver (1976)
Not as disturbing as I thought, but QUESTIONABLY weird
Lets face it this is a good movie (if your talking weird) in its own way but I didn't find anything disturbing about it. I found that the twelve year old prostitute made me very uncomfortable when(spoiler) talking about selling her crotch or unbuckling a grown man's pants but I guess that's the life of a prostitute. Anyway this could be a nineteen-seventy six batman film if the man didn't kill because hey who knows if batman loves porn or not. Back to the script, a 26 year old discharged military man that thinks an awful lot, writes in his journal and has trouble sleeping drives a taxi cab for money and travels through the bad parts of New York. As he sees the scum and filth of this city, he wants to do something about it but what? While he decides, he tries to talk to women but sucks at it so he stalks a woman at a newspaper center who notices him sitting in the taxi. This gives him the chance to be Dr. House and analyze her feelings which some how impresses her... Odd. Well not knowing a woman's worth nor movies takes her to an educational booty movie and she leaves him boo hew. Any-who he talks to a senator running for president about the scum and filth and surprisingly (sarcasm) could care less. So he runs into the 12 year old prostitute again(the one mentioned at the top. Note: the first time he saw her was on one of his routes though she was doped up trying to escape. The second time he nearly ran her over & then decided to follow her to a traffic light)and promises to get her out of the game by becoming a vigilante though the girl thinks he's weird (don't blame her). He goes and kills the pimps and all is well. It doesn't sound to exciting(because it ain't) but it is very interesting in its own way. DeNiro's acting as his character is very well done playing a young man who is weird and so on. I'd say give it a rent or buy it cheap on DVD ( trust me, it might bore you & you'll never watch it again),just don't show this to your kids as a lesson parents with sense(especially those with no sense.)Masterpiece, Not in my eyes.
For Colored Girls (2010)
The Acting is what made the movie worth while
For Colored girls indeed, some women who hate this catastrophe even get scarred by other women because they say they are to dumb to understand it, well if that's your point then maybe you are the nut who needs help to understand. If you see a movie and have trouble sitting through it and say you loved it, you got some issues. First of all the most uplifting story is not uplifting at all, its a massacre. If I got date raped, beaten, aborted, a std, infected with HIV, cussed out, freaked myself to men or women , stalked, had my kids dropped from a 5 story window, pimped out because I was to black & ugly to have my own race want me, had babies blood and dirt put over my head (breathe), went psychotic scrapping the blood off the street, then held each other like waiting to exhale not encouraging counseling & a better life, then i'm not inspired. The point of this film was to embrace lesbianism & I just can't stand to see my own race of beautiful black women portrayed like dogs by black men who I felt was taken advantage of in this so called inspirational mess. So all I have to say is this is not a movie for anyone showing our race just loves to see themselves in a negative light because when positive films are done we skip them. All in all skip it.
Blessed and Cursed (2010)
Blessed and Curssed
Blessed that this story has heart,soul and the power of the lord in which is a true spiritual blessing, but cursed by the way it is directed and sometimes written. This story focuses on a man named Dwight Hawkins who has a gift for spreading the word through his singing, but has a few confrontations in his life such as the church not thinking he's ready and his mother being ill, but in the end it all works out. Here are the massive problems, first of all the editing is sloppy. Yes it's a low-budget film which I know but I've seen better editing with a family album. The camera zooms in way too much, some of the scenes are too disjointed,It had TV cuts in a movie no less Hm( unless it was made for TV but I doubt it), it barely lets a plot finish and I felt like I was on an acid trip watching certain scenes. Next is the dialog, if boys from high school put this up as a project then yeah it's explainable with an F, but a movie, god the dialog was on and off and I didn't understand what they were talking about at times. Next is the characters, we knew so much about characters that were not that important or part of the story, but some we were suppose to know about barely had any screen time. One (note: spoiler) is the mother of Dwight, her time in the movie wasn't even that important, but when she died we were suppose to care? I mean come on she only had three of four scenes ( two when she speaks and the thing that cracked me up, when her son prayed for her, in the next scene she was dead because a flag said funeral. Man the power of prayer doesn't work when you have no sense to call 911. Jeez. All in all that's all I have too say, and if you want to get heal by god ( I am a Christian so I know) the best thing to do is hear for your calling if it's TBN or on the street, because this movie won't move you trust me I moved for the commode that's it.
Why Did I Get Married? (2007)
Not Bad For a Perry film.
I first saw this when it came out with my sister and I like very much, though not the best of Perry (thought what is?)but still a good film. I felt the story was strong and the plot points really hit it on the head dealing with marital issues such as birth issues, cheating, trust, family death, self image and last divorce though what can you expect from an unmarried man. The shocker came when something Perry just never gets astounded me in this story, A single plot, yes my friends a single plot because Perry adds over 40 plots in one movie but they come together as a mess actually learned the single plot rule. I for one applaud him, but I also still think he should've known this. Anyway descent film just watch it on TBS, TNT or whatever turner network shows it.
Preacher's Kid (2010)
Score is definitely too low
Which I agree with from a reviewer on here because this movie has it's flaws but it tells a magnificent story of a young 23 year old woman who follows her dreams (even if they get her into trouble). It has lots of great dialog, the characters work and the plot is very good leaving you to watch more of it. There were times I re winded and times I yelled at the screen because some characters could get under your skin. Other times I cheered for some characters because hey they made me smile, but all in all I say check this one out because it's a very moving uplifting story for the family and especially the young females ( of any ethnicity). Note: I a preacher's grandson and son so for the PKs out there, a strong yes because I know I'm a buy this.
House of Payne (2006)
House Of Payne Indeed
Whenever I watch this show, I'm in my house in actual Pain. Heck when any TV in my house is tuned on this show, the foundation is in severe pain moaning from the jokes and the humor carried through the power surges. Anyway we get this show where we have this family who lives in a suburban neighborhood in Atlanta,Ga. Where in Atalnta? they don't say, any who they are existent of three generations, The fist generation consists of Curtis Payne, "the man of the house" a morbidly obese black man who runs a fire station though he looks like he ate most of it. Then we have Ella Payne, the female of the household who waddles like the penguins black sister from Batman Returns and speaks with a very bad lisp. Then we have Gen.2 Which starts with C.J. Pain ( originally the son in the first test of this show, but since it was dark, they gave us this lighter version which is still bad) where he is the nephew who gets angry. Then we have the wife Genine who looks old enough to be his daughter. Then Calvin, the son of the first Gen. Then you have gen 3 Who consists of Malik, a fat bastard, Jasmine the little girl and two babies no one cares about. Anyway this show is horrible, the jokes are awful, the dialog is mind numbingly painful and the stories are so far fetched that they just give black buffoonery a whole new name and as a 20 year old black man, it pisses me off. The jokes are horrible, for example one joke goes " You so poor you thought a quarterback was a refund" wow that's original you gotta be kidding me I heard this joke when I was three, so whenever he wants to do a comedy sketch, give him the cane. Thinking of such, the plots are predictable and so melodramatic it takes sit to a whole other level called the sit yo butt down and rewrite this mess com. As usual the show starts with some character development (though that does nothing since the character suck butt) Then out of the bloom the buffoonery starts. Someone's either pregnant, on drugs, fighting their parents or someone is cheating with some ugly baby mama, daddy or assumes this.It just gets worse & worse. Next we either have some over the top drama where Malik will fight C.J ( his father) then get scared if he hits him, what a douche. Then Jasmine is nosy and man they need to lay her out with a belt because she is so annoying. Then Genine... in the first version, she was a witch you wanted to slap to the ground cause she stepped on all the wrong toes being a smart ass who picked fights, and in this version she does nothing, absolutely nothing what a shame. Then there's Calvin the womanizer who get with women for booty, then he marries Rudy the hooker and we are tormented by his bad acting, my god the horror. Then comes Ella and her prune looking best friend Urethra, yes she is named Pee as they talk about things we don't care about watching Ella wattle to the door saying Shabbily is very disturbing. Then finally the buffoon of the clan Curtis is a loud mouth whinnying buffoon who yells at thing, slap kids and runs around the house like Forrest Gump with a stick in his butt and this is why people think black people act like this and trust me,this is far from the truth. Do yourself a favor don't watch and if you watch, write Perry a letter telling him to give up or shut up.
Dreamgirls (2006)
Bland
This movie is far from good, its just so bland I could do a musical on how to sit on my butt and say bungalow while farting. I mean the acting is very bad, the dialog is atrocious and the songs aren't in anyway memorable. When they played the remake of Jennifer Holiday's "Your Gonna Love Me" performed by Jennifer Hudson (Who I loved in secret lives of bees)on the radio, I got tired of it after two plays, heck I don't like the original song either. Anyway I sat through it and just got bored so quickly I just ran around the house and rolled on my belly to pass the rest of the time because this musical was an "A" flat literally just plain flat. The ending was a bomb in the tush and the singing and characters gave me a headache. All in all just terribly bland. Note "If anyone wants a decent musical, watch the movie this was inspired from named Sparkle, because it's way better than this.
Casablanca (1942)
A Really Great Movie, However
I wouldn't say it was the best film ever made because it isn't. On the contrary though, it is a classic film that anyone would love and it is to me the grandfather of clichés. First off saying someone doesn't have a soul is clearly cold in my opinion because maybe they are literary, don't watch movies or just didn't understand it and they don't need to be penalized for it. It's an old film noir with really great dialog and amazing acting ( ahead of it's time) and it brings in what most cinema's have today, the art of clichés. First of all the main character Rick is a prime example of a tough guy, not buff, but he proves muscles don't make the man. Then you have Ilsa, the love of Rick's life and she bring the acting game up well. Now Ilsa is married to a guy named Victor Laszlo, and things get very complicated as the German police start to threaten throwing him in an isolation camp and you just have to see it for yourself. It starts with the atmosphere as the Warner theme plays and the map of Casablanca fades in, which loads of films used a lot later and gives that it is an action adventure romance. Next is the dialog, which strongly is by far the best I've heard in a movie to date which adds both mystery, romance, drama and most important humor which is kind of lacked in movies today. To continue we have the battle of the instruments (used in comedies), the mild bar fight which looked incredibly stunning for 1943( though it only lasted about 40 seconds) and finally a signature in westerns, the who shoots first duel at the very end which was fast paced but timed and played out very well. All in all a great film and as Rick said " This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship". It's worth it.
Maximo: Ghost to Glory (2001)
way too hard......
This game will have people hanging themselves while playing it because the game is just way too hard and very unforgiving. I can't stand this game to my bones and I can't say what I want to do to the makers because it might be to harsh. The levels are one thing but is there is anything I can't stand about older 3d games is the camera, not all of them are like this just this one. The camera causes the deaths majority of the time and the character that you control is very incompetent. He does whatever he wants and you have to get use to it. If you try to swing one way, the area the character looks is exactly where he is going to aim. Trust me, my stomach hurts from yelling at the game and it is just sad. One big frustration is the bosses because they are so hard. If I say one thing, its stay as far away from this game as possible because it will taunt you and kick you in the gut repeatedly.
The A-Team (2010)
Wow
When I saw this movie, I didn't know what to expect because at the time I was not really an avid fan of the TV series because I've never seen it. So I when in expecting a sleuth military film and what I got was explosions and more explosions from everything little to big that could blow up. So I walked out the theater dazed and confused but actually deep down enjoyed the film. While walking out the theater I thought to myself " I wonder how the TV series was" and went home. One night just randomly searching the Over the air networks late at night, a channel was showing the TV show and I watched it. Man was it the most entertaining corniest thing I've ever seen, but the movie was the same if you strip out the corniness and amp up the explosions. All in all I come to say that the movie was pretty close to the series and all in all give it a try.. (just make sure you go to a movie theater with great surround sound and give the DVD release a DTS soundtrack FOX.
Takers (2010)
I got what I wanted from this, ENTERTAINMET
If there is one thing movies are missing now and days, it's entertainment. Yeah this might be your average ordinary movie, but it gave extraordinary measures to an ordinary plot. I've seen this a thousand times but for once the director actually tries to invent something new with this and to be quite honest it worked. So for me it was predictable BUT it gave me one thing I will always want from a motion picture, ENTERTAINMENT so just sit back, relax don't think and loose yourself because taken is a new school black exportation not to be reckoned with, so have fun because takers will have you taken for a ride of entertainment. Enjoy!!:)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Why Do This To Jesus?
He died for the sins of man so we can live again, but like this? Passion of the Christ is just telling us how Jesus was executed and if that is all the passion was then I don't buy it. I know the execution was far more brutal than this but when I think passion I think what he was sent to do. His purpose was to save the sins of man but also to save man itself. Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead, helped the blind see, made the lame(crippled) walk and converted a prostitute into a righteous woman and that is the true passion of Christ. This is just another way to make money off of Jesus and I saw this as Jesus being more of a punk and less of a savior and I regret ever seeing this because of the fact that Christians in general are godly people and getting some to want the love of Jesus will never work with a portrayal like this. Show what Jesus really did in his life and people will understand the true passion. This is just a gut wrenching heart stopping (literally)gore fest that should have never been made.
Transformers (2007)
Explosions and Boobs With Talking Robots (MEGATRONN!!!!!!!!!!!)
Every horny mans dream when you look at Megan Fox but with robots. Nowhere near a masterpiece but who really cares..... all the people wanted to see were fighting robots and that's what you get along with corny jokes and stupid innuendos ( Michael Bay's vision). Though a little average, it does have a plot, Optimus and his soldiers must rescue a cube in order to keep Megatron from resurrecting some robot building or something to that nature. Though the jokes are corny and childish, the script is far fetched( but its science fiction so who cares) the acting is terrible and the action scenes stole the movie, this is just one of those mindless movies where you just fire up your stereo ( subs are a must for this, if you only have 1, GET 5 MORE), sit back, throw your brain out the window and enter retard mode because once you see the action in this film, you will scream MEGATRONNN!!!!!!!!
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
If You Aren't Use to Tim Burton, You don't Need to See this
From all the flack I've read about this film, I just passed on seeing it a while back. So many negative reviews show no hope for a descent Disney flick. So today I watch it since my father rented it on DVD a day ago (after all my sister said it was just average so what can I say and she's sixteen.) So after watching this supposed to be flop, I was absolutely shocked!! Turns out that the flack this film got was just flock because this has got to be the most amazing thing I've seen since well any live action film from Disney ( Prince of Persia doesn't count). Not only is it a nifty story but its what shall I say people don't have anymore? ORIGINALITY!!!! I mean come on 3-D is crap especially when you take the same image and split it in two with blurriness. If you want 3D get kicked in the face or punched in the eye. The visual art is very fascinating, the acting is amazing especially the red queen. I mean she kept yelling during the film but it matched her personality and gave the character charisma. Depp as the hatter was just creepy and spectacular. ( Why couldn't he play the joker? o well). The animals had to be on PCP or coke because man were they nut. All in All I rate this with 9( since I don't know how to put this in a 8. 9) out of 10 because Burton just puts his spin on it very well and it shows. Though I seriously recommend this to kids 12 1/2 years of age because some scenes for example (when Depp stares at one of the animals at the table and his eyes turn dark and glow or the scene when the mouse rips the cats eyeball out and runs with it on its sword like a an olive on a skewer)will cause either severe nightmares or psychological issues( I doubt). This movie deserves its 1 billion dollars because it earned it.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Iron Man 2 Hmmm
Is a great film if you have the mind of a mentally challenged dog though in my opinion feels like the first one all over again. The first film was great though very campy, the second one starts off a little serious. I thought "Oh boy this is really gonna be deeper" but nope!!. Not even 30 minutes into the film and it already goes downhill to the campy roots of the original. Tony must find a way to stay alive so the iron from his suite won't severely poison his bloodstream , then the movie jumps the shark but to be quite honest it is a high budget over the top superhero film so what do you expect. The middle of the film is just constant conversation but the action takes off in the end. So what do I say about this far from great action film, I would rate this a 2 out of 10 because it just lacked way too much quality and the middle was really really boring. Just skip it.