TheSonomaDude

Oh, the irony.

To be frank, I only sought after this film because of how much I adored Mosquito, another giant bug movie from the same director, Gary Jones. Let me tell you, this is no Mosquito. Not even close.

Spiders has some cool aspects. For example, the climax of the film is surprisingly enjoyable and the animtronic effects look somewhat decent half of the time, as the DVD cover proudly boasts "from the same effects team as Army Of Darkness, Spawn, and Wishmaster!" But the compliments end there. Porn stars would be facepalming in embarrassment at the lack of acting ability present at the set, but I'm not sure who to blame; the actors or the abysmal script.

This has got to be one of the worst screenplays I've ever seen translated into film. Every line of dialog is clichéd and laughable, with laughable line delivery by the elementary school play actors to top it off. Yes, Mosquito had some terrible acting too, but it had good acting to even it out. There is only one good actor in Spiders, and he says two lines before getting shot. Excellent casting guys, bravo. It also doesn't help that the characters are written with zero likability as they make dumb decision after dumb decision after dumb decision. Truly, the characters and actors are what subtract so many stars from the rating.

Gary Jones made Mosquito with only $200,000 but created an enjoyable and extremely entertaining B-movie with lots of gore and high rewatch value. Gary Jones made Spiders with $2 million, but created an embarrassing, appalling mess with little to no redeemable factors.

As a kid, I would often find myself sitting around the TV late at night on the weekends, eagerly awaiting what new movie would come on. All you could see in the pitch black darkness was the glow of the TV shining onto me eating a sandwich with the clock flashing 12:30 AM. Among my midnight horror favorites where Tremors and its sequel, John Carperter's The Thing, Critters, Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2, and Mosquito.

Ahh Mosquito. Its a bad movie I realize, but there's just something about Mosquito that makes it humanly possibly to dislike it. It has such a cheesy, entertaining, awesome charm that creates and aura of coolness. And, in the end, whats better than Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen attacking puppet mosquitoes with a chainsaw?

The plot is simple. An alien satellite crash lands in the Oklahoma swamps and mosquitoes feed on the dead carcass of the aliens. This causes the mosquitoes to grow to human proportions and they start sucking the blood of people in the countryside. Its up to a meteorologist, two lovers, a park ranger, and a criminal to team up and fend off the evil blood swarm of giant mosquitoes for chances of survival.

Its a hit and miss movie. The acting is mostly terrible, but I could care less honestly. All of the actors are obviously trying their very best (well, maybe except Mike Hard). Some actors, such as Tim Lovelace, Steve Dixon, and Leatherface himself Gunnar Hansen do a pretty decent job. Ron Asheton gets credibility because he is the bassist for one of the best punk bands ever, The Stooges, and Mike Hard also gets credit for being the vocalist for Sick Of It All, one of Brooklyn's finest punk-metal bands. Unfortunately, both of them are horrendously bad actors and should really just stick to music. Many people diss the effects for being bad, but they have a charm that kinda make them good. Hell, when it comes to the actual animatronics (such as the mosquito on the stove during the climax), I'll even call them good effects! Yep, I called the effects good! Considering that the budget was 200K in 1995, the effects could've been much worse. But most of all, the movie is very entertaining with not a single dull moment in the entire 97 minutes that this film runs for. Every scene has some awesome gore, an explosion, a mosquitoes vs guns fight, Gunnar Hansen doing something badass, and animatronic mosquitoes. Its a blast.

If your a fan of low budget films loaded with bullets and gore with a slice of cheese on the side, this is THE film for you. It may be bad, but its awesome. I'd honestly watch Mosquito on a 24 hour loop than just 24 minutes of Battleship or any Transformer movie, and those costed nearly 20 times more to make. Mosquito: Gunnar Hansen vs the giant bugs. AWESOME.

P.S.: If you are a fan of the giant mosquito genre, then Don't bother with Skeeter. That one truly sucks. End of story.