jenny-yellowstar

This was recommended to me by several people who consider themselves film buffs, but I know a fraud movie when I see one. Saltburn is nothing more than a movie shot with a clean and appealing 4:3 aesthetic that sprinkles a few scenes of shock value and a knowledge that their audience has a strong desire to feel relevant. The cinematography is pleasing, but not groundbreaking enough to make the ~2 hour viewing worthwhile. Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Rosamund Pike, all perform well enough, but even they couldn't carry this film.

The beginning is good, but the pacing is way too slow in the beginning. When you finally make it to Saltburn, the plot feels rushed and the characters and their motivations are too sloppy. Farliegh and Oliver's rivalry deserved a little bit more back-and-forth to build up the drama, and I think they missed some key opportunities to shape their dynamic in the buildup scenes at Oxford. By the time you make it to the big payoff at the end of the movie, everything just felt predictable and forced. The last scene was kinda funny, but I just walked away from this viewing experience feeling like the movie wasn't anything close to deserving the hype it's received. I'm 99% sure the people who claim to enjoy this movie want to be seen as the hipster it-crowd that understands this film and its value in some sort of higher form of art. Don't lie to yourselves people, the movie isn't good. People are craving another moment like Barbenheimer when it comes to cinema, but this just isn't it.

This seemed like a pop-star version of Misery so I was excited to watch, but sadly the story falls flat. There is no real "motive" for our main character to do the things she does and everything that happens doesn't seem to make sense in the context of her obsession. It's just a psychopath punishing people with extreme measures and somehow getting away with it. The dialogue put together is very strange because our main character somehow has no issue making friends (episode three??? Are you kidding me???) which is outrageous due to her intentionally unfriendly demeanor. It's very confusing that the wallflower isn't a wallflower. She just floats along in the story and gets adopted by interesting and way too conveniently connected people in her side quests.

This show is like watch paint dry. You know what's going to happen, you are stuck watching all the senseless violence, and there is no conflict that makes the plot seem worth investing in the story as a viewer. I'm giving up after 2 and a half episodes (sorry Billie Eillish) so maybe it gets better but I can't stomach another second of a show this violent with no payoff for the audience. Similar to my sentiments with Dahmer and the weird glamorous view they put together of cold blooded murder. Why am I watching this?

I enjoy a cheesy bad Christmas movie, but this one went too far with force-feeding you the "formula." I think if the writers took out the role of the PA spelling out the analogy between the Director's real-life interactions and the happy-ending Christmas movies then it could have really saved the movie. I hate it when scripts are too on-the-nose and GOD that assistants voice was annoying which only made it more excruciating. I think in any real life scenario, if someone behaved like that regarding another persons love life it would have immediately shut down any chance of romance. The second-hand embarrassment I got from her pointing out the chemistry in an unnatural way was out of control. I didn't hate the acting, which is typically the issue with these types of movies, but I couldn't get past how much they shoved the plot in your face. Let me live in the fantasy that the characters have no idea they will have their predictable happily ever after.