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The Protector (2018–2020)
1/10
This Is Awful
6 May 2019
I guess you have to live in the US to see how bad this series is. I don't know what Netflix was thinking, but apparently they need a Turkish American to help them not to sink money into awful projects like this.

The Protector has a talented cast but mainly suffers from the badly written screenplay and terrible directing. Especially the dialogue is laughable at times and extremely cheesy, on the nose with full of exposition.

Of course an American won't be able to understand this because Turkish isn't their native language. I'm sure the VP of Development is getting help from Turkish people but, if those people are not in the Hollywood system, they won't be able to tell the difference between bad vs good.

Although fantasy stories are not a part of the Turkish culture, a well executed project might have had a huge following if it was done the right way.

Unfortunately, the action scenes are terrible and the lighting job looks worse than a high school student movie project.

The dialogue is so bad that it makes these great actors look like amateurs as if they are participating in their first acting gig.

The Protector could be a great start and an example for the upcoming Netflix originals, but it falls flat on its face.

I'd say don't even bother to watch. Even the 0.99 cent on demand movies have more potential for you to have a good time.
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1/10
Nothing much to say
29 April 2019
The title itself just guves it away about the quality of this crap. Bad dialogue, predictable storyline and awful cgi effects that looks like it was done on Windows Paint.

The humor is so bad, you start questioning your self worth and the reason of your existence. Stay away.
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Nocturne (II) (2016)
1/10
Don't even bother
29 April 2019
Awful acting, terrible script that makes zero sense, horrific cgi effects. This cliche twist in the end was made twenty years ago. One word. Awful.
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Maniac (2012)
3/10
Don't Waste Your Time
29 April 2019
It's a pretentious little indie movie with illogical murder scenes shot in POV. Elijah's acting is wooden and most times he sounds like he's reading the script rather than saying his lines from memory.

One of the most important aspects of a slasher move is the murder scenes. Maniac is so irrational and fake it puts you off right away. Year 2012, the guy finds a victim from an online dating site and ends up at her house.

Now when he murders her, he leaves so much evidence that actually it's funny. Touches everything with no gloves, vomits in the toilet and even kills her with bare hands.

Now in real life or in any movie that has a little bit of logic, the cops would be knocking on his door the very next morning.

He leaves witnesses at the restaurant where they eat first, his IP address at the dating site, he even sends her his real picture before they decide to meet. All of these are more than enough to catch this guy, but no one comes looking for him.

Another pet peeve for me was how unbelievable it was to see him hook up with women. Come on now, this is LA. You drive a serial killer van, your hands are all scruffed, dirty and look like hobo hands and yet, women throw themselves all over you? Right...

The only good part about this movie was the cinematography. It's beautifully shot and it doesn't tire you during the POV scenes. It's very artistic and helps you get in the head of the character.

However, it's not enough to justify wasting your two hours for this. I'm sure you can find something more productive to do, like watching paint dry rather than seeing this stupid movie. I say pass.
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Us (II) (2019)
4/10
Let's Be Honest
28 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
If the name wasn't Jordan Peele, you would have walked out of that theater. Most of the audience went to see US because of the amazing experience they had with the successful movie Get Out.

US starts with introducing us the family. The visuals are stunning, great score puts you right into the mood and there's a significant effort spent to make the characters likeable, up until the bad guys show up.

Until here, everything is right and we feel like we're watching a Jordan Peele movie. Then, it takes a wrong turn and falls down flat on its face.

The bad guys show up and as soon as Lupita's doppelgänger opens her mouth, the movie finishes for me. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm in a ridiculous movie made by a 13 year old. Her raspy voice sounded really stupid and cheesy rather than creepy.

Although I liked some of the humor, I felt like some jokes straight up ruined the scene's ambiance:

Okay. There is a family that looks exactly like you, standing right in front of you holding scissors, everyone looks scared to death and then you just have to say "Please take the boat", really now?

Once I experienced these untimely jokes, it went downhill for me really fast. The chase and the combat scenes are far from being realistic and I started to feel like a Jordan Peele parody on YouTube rather than an original picture.

The movie gets worse and worse after that and once things are being overly explained you scream WHAT? Because nothing makes sense and immediately you notice a plot hole after a plot hole.

Like many revievers said before, this movie would have been much better if nothing was explained and left for our imagination. At least the plot would make some sort of sense.

As for the acting, Nyongo puts an amazing performance. Although she plays two characters, you could swear the actors are different. She's that good. You could see every single emotion there's to exist on her facial expressions. Creepy? You got it. Sweet and caring? You got that too.

However, the others were an epic fail. The dad was annoying with no mimics whatsoever, the girl overplayed the emotions almost every scene and the boy was too stiff.

Overall, if you want to see a movie with great visuals and musical score everyone's talking about, then go see this movie to form your own opinion.

But, if you say the movie you watch has to have a great story and should make sense, then wait for it to show up on a streaming network.

4/10 for the visuals, soundtrack and some acting.
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Baskin (2015)
1/10
Terrible Knock Off
16 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
You know the golden rule of shooting a movie? If a scene does not move the story forward or give detail about the character, it shouldn't be in the movie.

Apparently no one told this guy anything about this so, he just decided to throw some scenes here and there that has nothing to do with the story.

Well,actually there is no coherent story which is the other problem of this mess.

Basically, a few police officers respond to a dispatch call to find out that the village they are going is somewhere wicked. They bump things in the night etc etc.

After one hour thirty minutes, you realize that the ending is not only terrible, it is also extremely cliché.

Gore fans however will feel right at home because of some disturbing scenes, though they are nothing special nor haven't been seen before.

I would strongly suggest to pass this one, unless you want to end up with anger and disappointment in the end.

Can Evrenol, please don't rip off from Hills Have Eyes again and stop using the hell out of blue filter just because it is a horror movie. Being a good director requires a lot more than that.

1/10 Awful. Stay away.
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1/10
Just Awful
19 January 2016
This movie is terrible. Please do not try to watch it even if you find it for free. Trust me, it's not worthy of your time. There's no such thing as a story, the acting is terrible and the directing couldn't probably be any worse than it is now.

Basically, this movie has no production value whatsoever. It's shot inside two apartments with a dslr or a cheap camcorder (maybe even iphone) and the visual quality is lower than a youtube production.

I wouldn't be surprised that much if I watched this on youtube but I can't understand how netflix said yes to this nonsense?

You could grab your Galaxy S6 or Iphone 6 plus and shoot a much better movie than this one, I guarantee you. Stay a million miles away.
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Focus (II) (2015)
5/10
Meh
4 March 2015
Will Smith had a lot of pressure on his shoulders because of his latest movies flopping big time. Focus was a mile stone in his career and it had to be successful otherwise he was probably going to lose his A star brand.

Unfortunately, Focus is most likely another flop at the box office with an open just shy of 20 million. Considering the budget being around 50 mil plus unannounced marketing costs, it will be a loser unless it does extremely well in world wide box office.

One of the main reasons of the failure is the problems with the story structure. The movie cannot decide what genre to be and constantly goes in and out of romantic comedy. This causes us to lose "Focus" and prevents us from connecting with the story.

Although the acting is successful, the roles are not believable. Margot Robbie plays the adorable sweetheart successfully however, her character traits couldn't convince me that she could be a successful con artist that easily. Will Smith, does not look convincing enough as a con artist, as Nicholas Cage or Leaonardo Di Caprio does. I didn't even bite it for one second.

These problems along with an uninteresting story line caused me to disconnect from the movie altogether and especially during the 50-60th mark of the movie, I started looking at my watch every few minutes.

Focus opens with an interesting scene where we get to meet the lead cast and witness their semi romantic start of their relationship. Robbie is a beauty for sure and a pleasure to watch and her good acting abilities help us wonder what's coming next.

The chemistry between Smith and Robbie is not enough and pushes you away from the believability of it. They look awkward together and I can assure you, Will Smith is not the right cast for this role. His performance is too wooden at times and he is having trouble reflecting back the chemistry he gets from Robbie at certain scenes.

Focus is aware of the story structure problems so it comes up with a twist after a twist, especially during the final stage to keep things relatively interesting. It does succeed but the unconvincing romantic scenes drag the movie and causes us to feel we are watching a chick flick rather than a con artist movie.

Focus is definitely not a "Catch me if you can" nor it is "Matchstick Men," it doesn't claim this either. It just tries to be an entertaining heist movie with romantic elements attached to it. It doesn't fail altogether but it doesn't succeed either.

One of the things that Focus failed was the most important aspect of a heist movie, the con job. They were not artistic, impressive nor believable. Especially the gambling scene felt far fetched and borderline ridiculous rather than impressive.

Also there was no tension built up for the final job and for the sake of a one last plot twist, they decided to make it "coincidental" rather than planned which was a huge mistake. A heist movie is known for its tension. Ocean's Eleven is all about the job along with lots details and the movie tells us how they are going to pull it off.

Focus on the other hand has none of this. This probably was may be the main reason of the failure. There was no tension building up for the one last job. A big mistake the producers felt to see which probably will cost them millions of dollars.

Also the movie cannot convince you that Robbie and Smith really has the skills to pull these jobs and you never have this issue with similar movies like Ocean's Eleven or Catch Me If You Can.

Overall, Focus is an okay movie which you should just watch on your favorite movie platform instead of going all the way to a movie theater. There's no reason to see it on the big screen.

My advice, save your money and give this a pass. Just wait for it to come out on netflix or red box.

5/10
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The Interview (II) (2014)
7/10
Great Christmas Fun
25 December 2014
The Interview may not be the best comedy ever made or win an Oscar or two but, it definitely is entertaining. If you don't pay attention to Debbie downers and nay sayers who have nothing better to do other than bashing anything they watch from the comfort of their armchairs, you might actually have a good time watching this movie.

While I admit that the recent publicity helped this movie draw more attention than it would get otherwise, I can assure you that it is not the worst movie ever made. The humor is unbalanced at certain points and it can get quite repetitive but there are some scenes that made me laugh out loud, especially Seth's scene with the tiger and the electronic device.

I couldn't figure out why these armchair critics are bashing the acting so much, because the casting is phenomenal. The chemistry of Rogen and Franco is on par with Diana Bang (Sook) and Randall Park (Kim Jong- Un) and their performances are simply amazing.

If you really want to see a movie that is fun to watch, then I'd recommend The Interview. The film knows that its premise is ridiculous, therefore it doesn't take itself seriously at all. Never it claims that it has Oscar worthy material so I have no idea from where these critics are coming up with that. There is also some well done gore, which adds extra flavor on top of what it offers to us.

Go see it. It's only five bucks and you don't even need to leave the comfort of your house. I promise you'll have a good time. 7/10
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1/10
IMDb and these fake reviews...
1 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I ticked the spoiler alert, although I don't think there's any. Just to be safe...

When I saw the ratings on IMDb, I wondered how the hell I missed a horror movie that scored so high. Once I started watching it, I understood why. Because the raving reviews are written by relatives or people who are involved in this project.

The main character's acting is beyond bad because the script is written bad. There's no character development at all so we don't care what happens to them. There's some sort of a back story but that's about it and the directing sucks.

Jung definitely should not be involved in making movies, especially horror because obviously he has no clue about directing and coaching the actors. Shane's performance was way over the top and he mostly seemed he tried too hard. Of course the dialogs are bad too so this made his job more difficult. However, any director who even has a semi decent talent would easily understand that Shane should have lowered his energy.

The script starts promising but it quickly turns into another cheap Anchor Bay product with cheap jump scares, extremely loud sound effects and with scenes that might look scary on paper but not on the screen. If a director needs loud sound effects to scare an audience then it means he/she and the writer are not doing their jobs correctly.

I would never watch another Jung made movie regardless of the gazillion fake reviews they might get. This guy definitely does not know the formula of a horror genre and also has no clue about how to write a script. This movie has worse quality than a last minute made - zero budget student film. It's that awful.

Stay away. My rating 1/10
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Ouija (II) (2014)
3/10
The Comments Are Also from "PG 13"
29 October 2014
It's easy to tell the rave reviews are written by 13 year olds so if you are an adult, keep that in mind when considering to spend your hard earned money on this cheesy horror flick.

Ouija is a poorly written and directed horror movie with basically having nothing to impress the audience other than cheap jump scares. I gave up on expecting character development in these type of horror movies long time ago but I was still waiting something in the sense of story telling which this movie has none of it.

Quija heavily relies on one thing. Trying to scare people by off screen boo effects because it doesn't have a story to tell. A group of high school kids get a Ouija board and gather around a table to find out why their beloved friend hung herself. Of course, the answer is not that clear and soon after, whatever they communicated with, starts chasing the group.

The main problem of this movie is relying on jump scares rather than making the movie itself scary with the ambiance, story and the situations characters are in like Insidious, The Conjuring, Anabelle etc. If your friend suddenly tried to scare you every five minutes, how would you feel? Or would you still be scared after an hour or rather become annoyed? I'll go with the latter and that's what happens with this movie.

Considering the 5 million dollar budget, I wasn't expecting much but when you think that the first Paranormal Activity had a thirty thousand dollar budget, I bet this movie could have made a lot better than what it is now.

Unfortunately, Ouija lacks tension, horror, likable characters and all the things that a good movie has. It's a bummer to see that we don't have a good scary movie on a Halloween weekend and certainly Ouija does not have the fun you are looking for.

P.S: If you really want to get scared and are looking for a movie about Ouija boards, then you should check out the British scary movie "Long Time Dead". Although it was made more than 12 years ago, it is a lot more scarier, gory and more successful than this awful Ouija mess.
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Tokarev (2014)
3/10
Worst Nicholas Cage Movie
5 October 2014
I don't know why Nicholas Cage accepted this movie, who knows maybe he needed the cash, but definitely this job is not up to par with his standarts.

The script is badly written with full of clichés and paper thin characters. During the entire movie I felt like I am watching a bad B class movie.

Nicholas Cage, settles down with a nice house, a daughter and a beautiful wife after leaving his criminal past behind. However, soon his past catches up with him and it is up to him to find out the evil behind all this.

The twist at the end, although not bad, is still not enough to save this flick. There's no resolution and the ending is so bad, you almost feel like it spits on your face.

If you are planning to watch this just because of the cast then do yourself a favor and skip this one, because if no name actors were cast instead of A list, they would do just fine.

My vote 3/10 for the sub par music, awful script and bad ending.
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1/10
Don't Believe The Fake Reviews
4 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Unfortunately, I did. This movie should have been straight to youtube, not even DVD. It's that bad. I'll give you a few examples and you decide.

First few minutes into the movie, the paranormal investigators enter the haunted house and soon blood starts dripping on the walls. Our characters look at it as if it is something people see on a daily basis. That moment I understood how bad this movie was going to be.

Most situations the characters encounter are not realistic at all, making the movie look like ridiculous rather than scary. The movie keeps giving you the message "If you watch this footage you will die" becomes very annoying because it is not subtle. The characters keep saying this to the camera for about three or four times assuming we all are a bunch of idiots.

Nobody in their right mind would go down to a pitch black basement alone, just five minutes after one of their friends gauge their own eyeballs right in front of them.

I could go on and on but you get the point. If you want to waste your time on a flick that feels like a high school acting project, then by all means go for it.
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4/10
Do Not Believe In Rave Reviews
4 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I had the chance to see this movie last night. I really had high hopes for it since it was claimed to be a hybrid version of Seven and Exorcist. Huh? How in their right minds did they come up with this, is beyond my imagination.

First of all, this movie has nothing to do with Seven. There's no serial killer on the loose nor there are bodies left around with clues. It is just a cheap spin off of Exorcist. That's it.

Same cliché characters, a priest and a cop who has "faith" problems (remember The Signs?)try to investigate a domestic violence case which involves three soldiers who recently came back from the war in Iraq.

There are a few plot points that went no where, such as the scratching sounds in the child's bedroom, Olivia Munn being pregnant etc. This made the characters two dimensional lacking the necessary depth to make us care about them.

The cheap jump scares were spread out into the movie and they were annoying and cliché rather than scary. The exorcism scene at the end of the movie where good battles with evil is extremely cheap and anti climactic.

I do not want to reveal the end so I will not criticize but I can assure you that I didn't care at all because I couldn't relate to the characters. Also it didn't make any sense to me why a spiritual entity such as a demon would bother doing something like that at all.

If you are really expecting a scary movie which is like Seven and Exorcist then please do not go and see this otherwise you will be disappointed like I did. Whoever came up with this should be banned from making reviews forever.

My advice, skip this and wait for it to come to a red box near you. Save your hard earned money for a movie that really deserves it. This is a cheap flick trying to pull some marketing bs and hype to make a quick buck.
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A Teacher (2013)
1/10
Do Not Believe The Fake Reviews
2 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
The production company, the screenwriter and anybody else who approved this meaningless piece of garbage should be barred from the movie industry. I am that serious! This is beyond ridiculous. Very few movies made me angry this much I am warning you, do not watch this movie if you don't want to feel sorry for wasting 90 minutes of your life when the movie ends.

There's absolutely zero character development. Nada. Zilch. Story does not progress at all. Actually, there is no story. The characters are extremely boring, and all there's to it is a little bit of skin here and there with the most absurd and ridiculous sound track. It is unbelievable how trashy the score is. I would get it if this was a thriller or a horror movie but hearing the music while a couple is having... makes you say what the...?

Do yourself a favor. Do not even think about watching this crap. Trust me, you will be glad you didn't.
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1/10
!^&#*&^@&^#%^&@
19 October 2013
This film was produced by mad crapper productions (seriously, why would you name a production company, mad crapper anyway?) which does not surprise me why this film is totally crap.

What kind of a genius would write a slasher script where NOTHING happens for the first 60 MINUTES???? Yes, almost 60 minutes! Not 3-5-10 or even 20. I understand the character development but boy, you could develop the frigging citizen kane in 60 minutes, leave aside a slasher movie character.

You can maybe now understand how bad this movie is. From start to finish it's a painful 80 something minutes and even if you can bear till the end, you will see that you were right about guessing the stupid twist coming from 60 miles away.

The story is about a bunch of high school students who are on a school trip to study the industry revolution and on the way, they encounter with a maniac who starts offing them one by one with a pick axe.

Although the story sounds like a regular teen slasher, the script and directing is so bad that it makes it almost impossible to watch it till the end. The characters are extremely annoying and very unattractive for a screen cast, makes you wonder if they all accepted to play for free, in exchange of an IMDb credit.

I don't know you, but I love slashers mainly because of the high tension, original killings, hot chicks and surprise twists. I can assure you that this movie has NONE of them. All the killings are off screen, a little bit of blood is spattered on the camera, that's all the visual effects you get from this flick. There's no nudity or gore or any actress whom you may think she is a cliché hot slasher chick.

Now I'm not saying that heads should explode, guts should be torn or the students should go for an orgy, but why the hell are you bothering to shoot a slasher movie, if you are not going to show any of the killings??? This is like shooting an action movie where the camera never shows an actor actually firing a weapon!

All in all, please do not let the fake rave reviews written by the cast and/or their families trick you. You are really better watching your turd float in the toilet ,rather than watching this one. Just forget about it and watch something else instead.

Unbelievably awful acting, directing and script!

1/10
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3/10
Plot Holes Bigger Than A Swiss Cheese!
14 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I have never seen stuff this stupid in my life. This is outright lying to the audience in hopes of creating a shocking twist. It's not cool and it means the writer is not intelligent enough to come up with a twist without messing up the story structure. Pathetic.

Let me explain. In the first half, we have this newly weds on honeymoon and they are in Hawaii, sightseeing, tracking and exploring the natural beauty. Soon, they find out that there have been murders going on targeting couples on the island. Meanwhile, they meet with another couple (an ex war vet and a girl who can skin a goat without blinking an eye) and our weds start to suspect that this odd couple might actually be the wanted killers.

Note: This Part Reveals Important Information About The Movie *****

I am wondering if the writer is also on that crystal he kept showing in his movie. Now how the hell Jovovic and Zach could be the killers all along when they secretly discuss (one on one conversation) if the other couple may be the killers? Wth???

1) Why would they panic about the recent murders and get scared if they were the ones who have done it??

2) Why the hell Zach told Milla that they have to play this along without letting the other couple realize that they are scared off of them, so that everybody could complete the tracking alive??

3) Why did Zach work his butt off to get a signal to get information about the recent news on the internet?

4) Why the hell would he get so worked up thinking the hitch hikers were close and attack the permit guy with an Axe, thinking he was hitch hiker guy???

5) Why would he be scared about the security camera footage and show it to Milla being very scared and arguing with her that the other couple look like them?? Wth????

6) If Zach and Milla are really the killers then why were they also scared off the hitch hikers to not give them a ride? I mean, if you are a bad ass psychopath then why would some tattooed six pack guy would intimidate you???

None of these make sense at all. These are all act I and act II. Act III is completely the opposite, as if it was just written by somebody else.

People who think these are not inconsistencies are as high as the writer himself. I had to watch this crap so that the writer can insult my intelligence?? Huh, what a horse crap. Absolutely ridiculous.

If you want to feel like insulted then go ahead and watch this pile of mess. If not, a re run of Se7en or Identity is recommended.

Completely garbage. Awful!

2/10
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Die (II) (2010)
3/10
Zzzzzzzzz....
6 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Die, is just a saw franchise clone trying so hard to be serious but falls short on many aspects. The characters are two dimensional. Yes, we know their back stories and why they are there however, we don't care. None of the characters including the detective are interesting enough to keep watching. After 30 minutes or so the movie gets so boring that it is almost impossible to stay awake.

The story is dull and uninteresting. Who gives a crap about a bunch of losers and their choices in life? There's nothing to be sympathetic here nor there's anything sufficient enough to connect with the characters. They roll the dice on each other and they either die or not.

I see that the movie tried to have as little gore as possible, and probably this is why many people voted 2-3 stars on average. It was a huge mistake, because if the killings would have been gory and original, the movie could have been a lot more successful and would at least satisfy the gore lovers hunger, in my opinion.

All in all, this is a sawesque cliché movie with very boring storyline, empty characters and non existent gore. I would say skip and go watch something else instead.

3/10 for the cinematography.
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2/10
Don't Watch. Waste Of Time
2 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Why do we watch slashers? To see beautiful girls and original killings. Unfortunately this movie lacks in the second department. Leave aside the originality, you can't even see the killings properly. Because the shots are done from the victim's perspective so all you see is some sweaty mad man bashing people with several tools, without a clear reason or back story. And that's pretty much it. No gore, no blood, nothing! Just some stupid half naked characters running around like a headless chicken and getting offed one by one by this mad mechanic.

Lol at the genius writer/director, why did you even bother shooting a slasher if you are not going to show us the killings, eh? This Geoff should just flip burgers instead of shooting movies, for the sake of the genre and our sanity. Please Geoff, stay 10 miles away from the camera and go write children's books if you have an itch to scratch. Apparently shooting a horror/slasher is way beyond your skills and imagination.
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1/10
Plain Awful. Avoid The Fake Reviews.
8 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
What's worse than a bad movie? Writing fake rave reviews. I am not surprised to see this habit from the crew, considering the deceitful marketing of this cheap horror flick.

The movie actually, HAS NOTHING TO DO with the Bates family from the movie Psycho or the recently made TV show. When you see the film cover and read the synopsis, you think there's a ghost haunting the Bates motel or something. WRONG!

They are just using the Bates' name to attract a wider audience. I repeat, the movie HAS NOTHING to do with Norman Bates or a haunting, ever. Now how deceitful is that?? This is just a movie about a stupid hayride show and the family's name is Bates. That's it. There's not even a motel.

Besides the lies and fake reviews, there's really nothing much to talk about. Very low budget and poorly executed movie with really bad acting, non existent story line and awful directing. The movie gets worse and worse by the minute and the killings are either off the screen or very amateurish because of non existent budget.

Byron Turk should stick with Storm Chasers, obviously directing a horror movie is way over his current skills. Save your money and watch a rerun if you have nothing better to do.

1/10
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1/10
Insert Face Palm Image Here...
1 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I was in the mood for a scary movie and I found this movie on Netflix. I really would like to save you time, so just read the title and do not watch this movie unless you want to be bored to death for 82 minutes.

The acting, directing, story line... Everything is just awful. I understand the hard work and respect people who are trying to create something with a very low budget, but this project is just plain wrong.

It is full of plot holes, bad acting, bad dialog and the lame ending is the biggest slap to the audience's face. Nothing is bothered to be explained by the director and everything is left for our imagination. However, nothing was provided to begin with so when the credits roll, you end up with a confused look and say "what the...did I just watch?"

I am wondering where the director found these two actors from (the interrogator lady and Brennan.) Brennan is not only bad in acting, he also just over acts in most of his scenes, which makes him the most obnoxious character i have ever watched. The other lady is just not right for this role. She has no emotion, no mimics, and she definitely cannot reflect the weight of her role on to the screen. The other guys in cheap suits also looked like imposers rather than actual agents.

Most directors disregard this fact and try to make the next Blair Witch and/or Cloverfield. Yes, it is a lot cheaper to make a hand held footage movie however, it requires sub par acting to pull it off. If the acting and the story is bad, then the film falls flat on its face. Because you are playing straight to a digital camera with limited light work, so there's really nothing to hide here.

Overall, this is one of the worst low budget movies I have watched. Sometimes a great story can make up for the bad acting or visa versa. This movie lacks both.

1/10 Awful
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Blitz (2011)
4/10
That Wasn't Statham Now, Was He?
13 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Create the most absurd story line, make the protagonist jump from one impossible problem to another, and put Jason Statham in front of the camera and there you go, you have a blockbuster action movie.

Unbelievably, this time we have a movie with a plain, dull, boring story line with no twists, no outstanding action scenes, no impressive fighting choreography whatsoever. Some guy jumping from one building to another, is not Statham! Even a trained monkey can do that. Statham confronts with 15 bad guys and beats their back parts without a drop of sweat and walks away as if nothing happened.

Unfortunately, this time Statham plays a very boring police officer who does nothing but drink, smoke and drive around the city. Obviously the producers just wanted to use his name for a quick cash in and the audience took the bait.

All of the characters are two dimensional, the story line doesn't go anywhere and there's no suspense during the entire movie. Because we know the killer right from the beginning (they know him too) and while he is on the loose, they try to gather enough evidence to put him behind bars, that's it.

If you are expecting a climactic story line with Statham beating up tens of bad guys, exploding cars and buildings then stay miles away from this movie. The script is a pile of mess and while it tries to tell a few stories, it just ends up telling us nothing but a boring, uninteresting story with characters we don't care.

Don't let the casting fool you. If you are craving for the real Statham, just fire up one of his old movies instead. You will be glad you did.

4/10
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5/10
Not Too Shabby If You Can Bear With Subtitles
13 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Some people have a hard time focusing when a movie has subtitles. Especially, we Americans. You get distracted and makes it hard to follow what's going on in the movie, while trying to read what they are saying. If you think the movie is worthy of multitasking then go for it and watch it till the end.

The movie is about a group of psychology major students who get a task from their professor to make a research and understand if paranormal is real or can be debunked with facts. They go to a haunted village to investigate and soon, things start to get ugly.

The movie starts promising but as always, the script is weak and the story is not sufficient enough to justify 90 minute length. This movie could have easily been 30 minutes long and it would still serve its purpose. The story gets dragged with unnecessarily long scenes, therefore the first 30 minutes are quite boring and the movie takes its time to get to the point.

There are of course some logical mistakes but they are not very annoying on the contrary to the commenter above. Clichés follow one after another here just like almost every horror movie; splitting up to make the killer's job easier, not having any communication tools to ask for help and the worst part is, you can see the twist coming from a mile away. Very cliché and has been tried thousands of times so, nothing original here.

Overall, it's still watchable. The girls are still hot without running around naked, the acting is not horrible and although the killing scenes are not extraordinary, they are still gory enough to satisfy your gore hunger. It's just one of those movies that you will completely forget about in 30 minutes or so, but it is still a reasonable option to kill 90 minutes without feeling sorry about it.

Believe me, I have seen horrible movies and this one is far superior then those low quality horror movies with amateur cgi effects. Goes well with your favorite beverage and snack for sure.

I give 5/10
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3/10
Do Not Watch! I am Dead Serious...
12 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
You know what happens when awful script meets with bad acting, right? Instead of having a fun Friday, you get mad and start thinking about how to get your 2 hours back.

This is exactly what will happen if you watch this movie. Don't get me wrong, I love cheesy horror flicks but this one is just plain awful. Dialogs are cheesy, the whole plot doesn't make any sense and it is full of logical mistakes. I'm not blaming the actors for their bad performances because when the script you are working with is so bad, the things you can do are limited.

The characters are so hollow and two dimensional that we don't care a bit when they die. Actually, we don't even care if they survive, we just want this movie to be over as soon as possible.

All in all, I strongly recommend to skip this flick and find something else to do instead. Believe me, it will be a very smart decision on your behalf.

Warning: Do Not Read This Part, If You Haven't Seen It Yet!

Why did the handy cam disappear?? If it wasn't important, then why did almighty director Alex Wright use it at the first place?

A demon is not a spirit, it's an entity. How come you don't know the difference as a writer working on a supernatural theme?

First, Joey was with Eva, and then we find out that he has an unborn baby from Sara? If he was with Eva before, then when the hell were Sara and Joey together? It's not like they are 50 years old.

Marcus was a very unnecessary character and it may shock you Alex Wright, but nothing changes in the script when you exclude this character.

I can go on forever but I will be straight to the point. Alex, you really need a career change so that you can stop wasting our time and money by shooting movies that should never exist.
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The Maze (2010)
1/10
A Great Example Of How To Make A Bad Movie
21 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This movie has to be shown in film schools as an example of "How to make a really bad slasher, and make the audience hate every minute of it." You think I'm being a little harsh? Fair enough. Read on and let me know.

I really liked the opening scene. It was promising at first but it only took five minutes to change my mind. Five teenagers play a tagging game in the middle of a corn field and they run into a serial killer on the loose, who then starts stabbing his victims one by one. Teenagers? Who did the casting I wonder, because they all are at least 25, some even look mid 30's.

What makes a slasher enjoyable is, the killing scenes. The more original and gory they are, the more we get excited. This is the whole point of making a slasher. Making memorable, epic killing scenes, not creating a super skinny, girly killer who stabs people to death with a thing that looks like a swiss army pocket knife.

I mean, really? That's how creative you guys were? The killer just stabs them in the stomach or whatever and they die. That's it. It looks more like a high school acting project rather than a slasher movie. I'm dead serious.

Because of no character development, we never care when these 35 year old teenagers get killed. These writers have never read a book about scriptwriting before? You have to make the audience feel something about the characters before you start killing them. Otherwise it has no effect.

I don't like the excuse of the movie having a super low budget. People on youtube make amazing videos with much less budget than that. Originality and creativity don't cost a penny, but be lazy and it will cost you a career.

Too many logical mistakes, plot holes and poor execution, makes this movie unwatchable. The killer gets stabbed several times including his stomach but he heals all those wounds with a car lighter and no stitches! Really?

I'm not here to give you a lecture on how to make a good movie, but you should not get mad at people who didn't enjoy watching it. We are right because your movie sucks. Plain and simple. We are the audience and if you are making a movie for us to watch, then we have every right to criticize it, because you are the one who claims that you can make a watchable movie, not us.

You are wasting our time and we are bashing your movie. It's a fair deal. Either accept that and make a better one next time or just quit and do something else. It's obvious that you can't accept objective criticism but at least stop writing fake comments because you are bad at that too and they suck as much as your movie does.

All in all, I strongly suggest you to skip this movie and do something more productive instead. Believe me, you will be glad you did.

1/10 for writing fake comments. You little evil bunnies, you.
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