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Two and a Half Men: Whipped Unto the Third Generation (2009)
Infuriating!
I know that situations are written to set up comic lines and moments. But the premise in this episode was beyond infuriating. I cannot stomach the fact that Charlie was de-balled by Chelsea, Alan, and Melissa without being able to drop the anvil of GTFO. Yes, the title of the episode speaks volumes, but it doesn't make it suck any less.
/vent
The Other Woman (2014)
Somebody Made Money Off This Fiasco
Hot garbage. If you saw this movie for free, you were robbed.
China Moon (1994)
Hoping for More
It was obvious early on that this was not going to be a masterpiece, but I had nothing else to watch, so I gave it a go. Through the early setup, I was hopeful for a suitably complex thriller with a twisty ending. Boy, did that not happen. Some pretty awful editing throughout, and then a rushed makes-no-sense ending, where a seasoned cop makes countless errors trying to trap the real villain(s). It was all disappointing, but the kind of disappointing where I just asked myself, "well, what did you expect?".
I'll just close with a bit of misogyny by saying, "Madeline, nice body".
How to Murder Your Wife (1965)
An Okay Movie in the '60s, but Not Today
I remember seeing this in theaters upon initial release. I know I saw it a few more times on TV in the '70s. Although it wasn't by any means a favorite, I remember that it was a pleasant experience.
Fast forward to yesterday. I started to watch it for the first time in 30 years, and I had to abandon it. It was unwatchable. Why?
1) I despised the way Stanley was railroaded by his attorney, Harold. What a schmuck that character was.
2) I despised his attorney's wife, Edna. What a *beep*.
3) Virna Lisi's personality was awful. Couldn't stand it whenever she opened her mouth.
4) What was with that really ugly insect that Ms. Lisi carried below her lip. "Beauty mark" my a$$.
5) The drowning rats that are Yorkshire Terriers are contemptible. And women dressing them up in bows and ribbons and parading them around in their arms are equally contemptible. That thing should have gone in the gloppitta-gloppitta machine first.
6) I've spent the vast majority of my adulthood as a single man, living alone. I like it. And interestingly, like Stanley, I've had to deal with a number of "friends" and acquaintances along the way who voiced their opinions that there was something wrong with me. To them, and to Stanley's detractors, I say, *beep* ***.
I guess I've become a crotchety old koot. Of course, I know that some of these things were plot/comedy devices. I know that my opinion here at IMDb is in the minority.
Hey, I am a big, big fan of Terry Thomas, and a fairly big fan of Jack Lemmon. But I find it interesting that those affections are no longer enough to get me to sit through this movie. In the '60s and '70s, I would have given it a 6 or so, but now it gets a 3.
Before the Dinosaurs (2005)
Tired of These Fictional Accounts
These so-called documentaries about dinosaurs -- and in this case, the creatures that came before them -- are wearing very thin. My problem with them is that they are combining scientific theory with utter fictional hogwash story-telling.
Look, I don't mind that CG is able to give us a peek at how the world might have appeared those millions of years ago. Lay it on me . . . with a disclaimer up front that this is conjecture based on paleo evidence. But when some jive-ass writer starts telling me what the storms were like, and which animals were where in the food chain, and how lizards enjoyed baked spider, I just want to puke. There is no evidence for much of what appears on the screen. They're simply concocting a story, taking what science they have, adding what they think people want to see, and creating a farce.
And how many times do we have to sit through stories about T. Rex??? And why do they always have to be screaming??? I want to be educated about these animals. Unfortunately, these shows do nothing but get me frustrated.
The Last Man (2000)
Wow
How do stories this bad get made. That's not a question. It is a statement.
Here are my problems with the film.
1) Much of the story development was predictable and boring. My emotions ran pretty much in a flat line throughout. There wasn't really much to draw the viewer into the film.
2) The characters were decidedly uncharismatic. One was a loon, another was confusing, and the third was pretty damned boring. There was absolutely zero reason to be drawn to these people. Even though I knew it wouldn't happen, I kept hoping that they would run into someone else, someone more interesting.
3) The physical environment was uncomfortable for me. A trailer??? In the desert??? The desert is a place that most people would prefer not to visit. How is it that these three people end up in the desert???
4) And in the same desert. Did the writer really expect me to believe that the last three people on Earth would manage to find each other within the span of a few weeks out in that desert?
5) Was it really necessary for Ms. Ryan to be in two scenes that required a swimsuit? Hey, she looks great, but it was pretty gratuitous.
Okay, so if I thought it was so bad, why did I give it a 3? I am trying to be as objective as possible. Even though I found Alan annoying, I have to say that David Arnott did a very credible job of portraying a neurotic nerd (the character reminded me of a few of Albert Brooks more annoying roles). Jeri Ryan tried to do something with Sarah, but it just wasn't written very well. Okay, so she was supposed to be a confused, dysfunctional woman. But why? What did it add to the story? Her mood swings left me feeling like I was being jerked (hard!) one way and then another and then another.
I don't often walk out on films, but this one had me contemplating it several times. Stiff, predictable, boring. Proceed at your own risk.
My 2 cents.