Payasoplas

Pecados de una profesora (2008)

A sample of how not to make a movie

I watched yesterday this movie, because my friends and me found it on TV, and we needed something to laugh so we stayed tuned because the girls that act in this "movie" Spend their time getting naked for no reason, and there's a lot of "Thong shots" that have no reason but fan service, it's a bad ripoff from "Rebelde", one of the worst TV series not only in the history of Mexican TV, but in the history of mankind.

It's a story about "Juniors", teenagers that are sons of wealthy people whose main characteristic is being mean to others that don't share their economic position.

This movie must have the worst visual effects i've seen, but that's not bad, there's a lot of movies with bad visual effects that i love, because they are funny at all, but "Pecados de una Profesora" (Sins of a Teacher)is pretentious, it tries uselessly to show that it was made with great artistic quality and, well... Is just one of the worst movies i've seen.

Then we have the actors, This movie should be called "Sins form Mexican TV" because the boy who plays the main character is pseudo actor, just a talentless kid who earned a place in this movie because he participated in "La Academia" one of the most pathetic reality shows that have been produced in Mexico (and the entire world), a real insult to human intellect, and also as i said is a bad ripoff from an already awful TV show.

Then if you stay long enough for the credits, it plays a song that has absolutely nothing to do with the movie or the characters.

This movie is only worth if you wanna see hot Latinas in bikinis and hilarious visual effects, that's not bad, i love bad movies, but i hate them when they are pretentious.

Sex and the City (1998)

Awful!!!!

I really don't know why everyone likes this series if it is so pointless and bad written.

The dialogs are reduced to things like:

• It's been just half hour since I had sex. - It's been an hour since I had sex. - Get your clothes off and #%#% me.

Or combinations of both:

• It's been just half hour since I had sex, Get your clothes off and #%#% me!!!

There's nothing interesting in the pathetic life of a group of single women whose pathetic life reduces to think about sex, and only sex.

The fact that this show exists offends me by itself, because it has no content, it's just a series of pointless dialogs, really, if you analyze this series you'll find that it only serves to establish how a boring and senseless TV show is done.

AVOID IT ALL COSTS...

Three Kings (1999)

Good if a drama was what they tried to sell you, but it's bad because they were selling a comedy

OK, when you the trailer for this movie you see a Humvee with a Bart Simpson doll in the front, funny music and the funny parts of the movie, the first and logical thing you could think when you see that is that this movie is a comedy of any kind so if they were announcing a comedy, a comedy is what you should receive, not a big tragedy.

That's why this movie sucks because when you see it you'll notice that all the funny stuff from the trailer is the only funny stuff in all the movie, if the movie had been announced as the big tragedy and serious movie it really is, there should have been no disappointment at all, maybe if you read this you could be tired that I insist so much, but IT WAS ANNOUNCED AS A COMEDY!!!, if you don't believe me watch the trailer, it's like if somebody tries to sell you a car, but gives you a bike, should you be disappointed for that? the most natural thing is YES!!! Yes, somebody could tell me that this is black comedy, but only in some parts, the rest is just a drama, and this combination of drama and black comedy is not even interesting.

It's a shame because the movie theme is interesting and very critic, but the fact that their makers were trying to cheat on the audience by selling us a comedy giving a tragedy is what really ruins this movie, I' m disappointed because when I saw it i was expecting a funny movie, so if the director or George Clooney or whoever is responsible I would like to take me my money back and see a new trailer, only then I will forget about the disappointment.

El ninja mexicano (1991)

Not very good

I'm a fan of 80's Mexican movies, They are mostly B-Movies and to see this kind of movies you should know that most of them were made with very low budget and filmed in a very short time, so the critics to this movies should be different from other movies.

El Ninja Mexicano (The Mexican Ninja) is obviously a Mexican version of American Ninja, even with its very low budget is much better than American Ninja V.

But El Ninja Mexicano lacks of the basic ingredient of martial arts movies,there are almost no fights in the movie and many scenes are recycled, the film feels more like a thriller and not an action movie, and the ending is very quick.

So you can watch it but you will enjoy very few of it.

Twentynine Palms (2003)

Offensive

This is gotta be the worst movie ever made, there's nothing interesting in it, it's boring, without a story, it is just a series of absurd, senseless, pornographic scenes.

If you watch this movie you will spend more than 2 hours waiting for it to begin and then you will realize that you have lost 2 precious hours of your life and the money you spent to watch it, making a movie is not just taking a camera and film, it has narrative rules and in 2 hour movie something should happen after 10 minutes, if not the audience has the right to leave, in Twentynine Palms nothing happens just sex, sex and more absurd sex.

I really don't know why it was exhibited on normal theaters, I could say that its place is on XXX Cinemas but no, because it "pretends" to be artistic.

This movie has no message, there is no metaphor of any kind in it, the only explanation of its existence is that Bruno Dumont was trying to make some kind of experiment that obviously failed or he had the intention of making the worst movie ever.

Conclusion: Twentynine Palms is not a pornographic or an artistic movie is just an insult to human intellect avoid it at all costs!!!

Serafín: La película (2001)

One review

What is this? A Movie...?

I watched this movie at a bus, so I didn't choose what I was going to watch.

This movie is obviously intended for children but, the writer of this movie thinked that children are idiots, there is nothing coherent in the story, characters are not really intended for children, but they seem intended for a movie for brainless people.

It's a shame that the first mexican movie with CGI characters and special effects is this bad.

While in Japan they made Final Fantasy that at least has good animation, in Mexico we had Serafin.

Someone opned the pandora box and in from that box Serafin came out to idiotize mexican children.

The thing I liked in this movie is to see the teen mexican actress Sherlyn dressed like a exotic dancer.