kevin-477

This isn't a film. It's a product. And a pretty tacky one at that.

Here's a plot summary, without spoilers (in fact, it's difficult to provide spoilers for this film, since it is so clichéd and predictable): 'Action - thin thread of plot - action - another thin thread of plot - action - action - action - further thin thread of plot - action - end'.

Someone compared it to a Bourne movie. Excuse me, but those movies had some intelligence at work behind them: good characters, strong scripts, plots. There was no real plot here - just a droopy, threadbare line on which to peg out a bag-load of action sequences we've all seen dozens of times before. I've seen better scripts in films produced by art college film studies undergrads. And characters? There weren't any. Daniel Craig did his best with what was there, but it was a bit like watching a Cordon Bleu chef produce something worthwhile out of a loaf of stale bread and a tin of sardines.

Please... can't we just finish the franchise here and move on to something better.

I can't think that anyone except the most tirelessly devoted of horror movie fans will find anything of interest in this film. A script so corny you can smell the butter and clichés by the truck load. Add to that some really hammy acting. To be fair, John Cusack does his best – but at the moments of greatest 'horror', his expression seems to be saying that even he can't believe he's been reduced to doing stuff like this. Samuel L. Jackson is just completely wasted: a big bucks name used for no other reason than to sell the thing at the box office.

In "Danse Macabre", Stephen King gives the nod to Coleridge's idea of the 'suspension of disbelief', saying that such a thing is made possible in the horror genre (in whatever medium) if the reader or viewer has a complete emotional involvement with the characters. That's what's lacking here. Mike Enslin is such an arrogant, rude, self-important a**hole that you really don't care what happens to him. Even after the rather tame and predictable back-story comes out, you don't feel much different. By three-quarters of the way through, I couldn't care less about him any more and just wanted it to end – preferably in his death.

As a postscript, I watched this on the same evening as 'The Machinist'. This, by complete contrast, is a genuinely creepy examination of a deeply-troubled mind – and not a cliché or cheap trick in sight. Watch this instead if you want to see how it should be done.

Up until now, my all-time favourite superhero movie was the superb Batman Begins - but Iron Man trumps it. Other critics have mentioned that it doesn't have enough action scenes. Well, it didn't seem like that to me. In fact, it's a long time since I spent such an enjoyable 2 hours in a cinema. What carries this film along between the action scenes (spectacular and funny when they come) are the smart, snappy script - full of brilliant, laugh-out-loud one-liners - and the excellent performances. I even found Gwyneth Paltrow watchable, which is a bit of a first. Jeff Bridges, too, turns in his usual goods. But the star of the show is, of course, Robert Downey Jr. At first, I couldn't imagine him in the role of a superhero - but he carries it off brilliantly. I was reminded many times of his character in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. He plays it with that same blend of quirkiness and sass. After this, other superhero movies (Batman Begins aside) fade into the background. None of the bum-aching tedium of the Spiderman or X-Men franchises. And not a whiff of taking itself too seriously, either. Excellent soundtrack, too. A superbly entertaining movie.