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From Darkness (2015)
One of the worst series ever.
I'll try my best to say why I despised this crime thriller without giving away any spoilers.
The ending was the most unsatisfying of any crime thrillers I've ever seen.
The police force was so inept, they made the cartoonish Keystone Kops seem like brilliant criminologists.
And yes, it was rife with cliche after cliche, even to the point where they nearly had the two lead detectives end up in bed. Thankfully, that didn't happen otherwise I would've stopped watching.
As Clearbay_327 noted, it was a good thing that "From Darkness" was only four episodes long. Had it been any longer, I don't know how much i would've been able to take.
In summary, Is "From Darkness' worth your while? Maybe, if you don't mind the fact that the lead character lies continuously, and nothing gets done about it or it's not discussed as a psychological defect.
Black Cab (2024)
I for Incomplete.
Too bad. I'm sure there's a good film that could be chiseled out of Black Cab, but that remains to be seen. Maybe in the hands of a better writer, editor and director, Black Cab could've been thrilling enough to warrant a sequel.
Atmospherically, the set designers got that right with their oodles of moody/rainy darkness. Where the film falls apart is in its unoriginality. You could see where the driver was heading from a mile away. There was also nothing new about the ghosts and there were too many loose ends to consider Black Cab complete.
The general acting ranged from okay to annoying. As a former taxi driver, I watched this movie based on its description alone without reading any reviews on IMDb. I should have next time.
Masum (2017)
Soap opera disguised as a crime mystery.
Yes, I was fooled by all the glowing ratings about Masum. From the high numbers posted, i was expecting something akin to the greatness that is The Godfather, Amadeus, or something else along those lines. Masum wasn't even in the same ballpark.
There may have been a little mystery and crime in the film, after all, we saw a detective and other law enforcement officials, but make no mistake about it: this was a Turkish soap opera through and through.
For the first three episodes, all you saw basically the introduction of the major players, their psychological issues, and bucks and buckets of tears streaming from their eyes. After a while, that became more than annoying. It was unbearable. I found myself shouting at the screen for the detective to do some detective work. Nope. After he was done crying, he cried some more. Even his daughter, at one point, mocked the series by noting her father had turned it into a soap opera. Sigh. At least the writers knew.
Sutnja (2021)
Keystone Kops, Ukranian style.
For those not familiar with Keystone Kops, a little background: Keystone Kops were fictional, humorously incompetent policemen featured in silent film slapstick comedies between 1912 and 1917. Not that Sutnja (Silence) is a comedy series, but given the ineptitude of the various law enforcement officials, it may as well be.
The pluses to this series were the cinematography, acting and the stories themselves. I was hoping that, the series being European neo-noir, it would have that bluish somber tint typical of some Scandi noir films. It didn't. Most of the scenes were brightly coloured and well-lit.
The letdown for me were the frequent, and seemingly unnecessary, diversions into love and family interests which added very little to the main plot. The biggest culprit, though, was the brazen incompetence of the various officers. I get it was written this way to elongate the series, but it does make Ukranian law enforcement seem like bumbling idiots, carelessly casting aside clues that turn out to be necessary, etc.
By the way, this review was for the first six episodes. I have yet to see the 2nd set of six. Perhaps they ironed out those wrinkles. Maybe.
What Remains (2022)
Who directed this, Tommy the Tortoise?
Wow. This movie was slooooooow, as in molasses slow, as in if I'd poured a small jar of honey out to the floor, the jar would empty before the end credits of What Remains rolled.
So why did I stay with it all the way through to the ending? 1. It starred Stellan Skarsgard. 2. It was a Swedish Nordic Noir (even though they spoke English). 3. It dealt with a psychiatric patient and therapist which are always pluses in my book.
Generally speaking, the acting was okay but not exemplary. Cinematography was fine; really, it's hard to mess that up given the quality of cameras these days. Even a $2,000 4K Canon or Sony video camera with the right editor and good color-grading software like the free DaVinci Resolve could produce a perfectly toned Nordic noir feature.
Is this a recommended watch? Not really. And that's mainly because it's snail slow. However if, like me, you're addicted to Nordic noir, this wouldn't be such a bad way to pass the time.
Virage Nord (2015)
Heavy on emotional drama, light on mystery.
Virage Nord (or Match Day as it's called on Tubi) wasn't a bad series. One plus was it only lasted three episodes. If it'd been a 10-episode affair, it would've been intolerable. Why? More attention was spent on the emotional relationships of various characters, as well as the intricacies of football itself, than the actual mystery of the youth killing.
As someone who is not a fan of football, I confess the series' constant and detailed references to it was, how should I say, uninteresting. Sorry. The tension between characters was well-developed, though, and made for good cinema.
In regard to Virage Nord being related to Nordic noir, visually it was - sweeping landscapes, bluish-green atmospheres, twists and subplots all over the place. I think, in the end, YMMV as to how captivating a series it is. As a three-episode watch, it wasn't that bad. Any longer and it would've been a no go.
Zlociny Velké Prahy (2020)
Very entertaining Czech mystery series.
I caught all 8 episodes on Tubi recently and was thoroughly amazed at the amount of 1920's detail allotted to the scenery: the oil lamps, automobiles, telephones, architecture, playing cards, heated asthma inhaler, weapons, food, clothing, farms, etc. Being a foodie, I definitely would've liked to have known what they ate at home and the restaurants.
I didn't mind the drama of the daughters of the head detective; it was necessary for continuity. Being it was a period series, and with me being a detail freak, I often had to pause at times to Google references of things that were mentioned, such as the head detective's wife losing her countess title and what that entailed, the anarchist posters being plastered all over the place, the infrequent references to how things would've been different before Czechoslovakia became a republic, etc.
I do wish the series didn't make the young police apprentice seem to be a buffoon at times, but I suppose that may have been intentional for comedic relief from an otherwise dreary series. All in all, a worthy series and worth anyone's time if even for the eye candy alone.
Les innocents (2006)
Very heavy on the crying and drama bits. Very light on the mystery.
Taken as a whole, Les Innocents was an interesting, albeit soap opera-ish, film brought down by its heavy-handed employ of crying, over sentimental scenes that bordered on being cringy.
I'd say, ratio wise, the move was about 95% brooding drama and 5% mystery. On Tubi, it's also listed as being a thriller. It wasn't. That would imply suspense and intrigue which there was very little of.
Acting was exemplary, though. I give the thespians that. The film was also interesting in its use of past and present transitions of characters and environment, so kudos for the editing and directing people for that.
In the end, is Les Innocents a must-see feature? Not really. It was just a tad more mature than a typical Hallmark production, but not by much.
Stöld (2024)
Pure Eye Candy.,
Even if this movie had no story, just the breathtaking visuals alone were worth the price of admission. The sweeping views of snow-covered lands as well as the hordes of reindeer made for stunning wallpaper. Luckily, Stolen was much more than that.
As an American, I knew very little about the Sami people other than what I read on Wikipedia and elsewhere. What impressed me about this movie was its attention to detail exemplified by traditional garb, Sami vocalizations (Joik), mentions in school about the Sami forcefully being assimilated Nordic culture as well as how their land was being usurped by the government, their high rate of suicide, and the oppressive prejudice they faced in the past as well as in modern times.
I can't say anything bad about the cinematography, story, direction, acting, set design, pacing, etc. They were all very well done. Yu could tell the writer and filmmakers had deep knowledge of the way the Sami people live, and it was refreshing to be introduced to a culture I'd never known before. Highly recommended.
Jestem morderca (2016)
Was this supposed to be a comedy?
I suppose, looking at 70's Polish detective work through the lens of 2020's technology, makes the investigators in I'm A Killer (Jestem Morderca) seem inept, like a European version of the Keystone Kops. There's just no way their constant bumbling and fumbling of crime scenes could be that profound. Yet, there it was, shown in all its noir glory.
Many of the characters in I'm A Killer were unlikable buffoons, but I'm guessing that was purposeful, perhaps meant to show just how weak evidence gathering was, causing people who may be innocent to get to death row.
At times, the pacing was snail-slow. Still, was it a watchable film? Maybe. If you miss it, no biggie. If you do catch it, just know it's not the highly rated experience some reviewers say it is.
L'impasse (2022)
Fair to middling French version of a Lifetime-type movie.
I think renaming L'impasse to Fatal Reunion for the English-speaking countries was a mistake as its bland, generic title gives it an uninteresting Lifetime movie feel.
Despite the twists and turns in L'impasse, the way the movie played out was simply dull and uninspiring. Sure, there were loose ends and unfinished subplots, but L'impasse gets a pass because many movies are like that these days. After all, we're at the age where quantity over quality reigns, and the more films the streaming services have, the better it is for their bottom line.
At least the film had some delicious eye candy, such as sweeping scenes of islands and sprawling glistening cities and sea. To be fair, the acting from all wasn't that bad, but the implausible melodramatic script dragged the entire production down.
If Lifetime-type movies are your thing, and you enjoy scenes of sweeping vistas, L'impasse fits the bill. Otherwise, look elsewhere to be entertained.
The Oak Room (2020)
Better than I thought it would be.
Putting aside my search for a good horror film to watch, I thought I'd give a new crime drama a try since I'd been watching a few from Europe, Russia and South America.
The Oak Room appeared on my radar and I was pleased to see it was Canadian.
What really stood out to me was the acting of everyone involved. That alone sold the movie, and it didn't hurt that the claustrophobic, snowed-in atmosphere, seen everywhere, was essentially another character.
To be fair, The Oak Room was a slow burn, but one which I didn't mind because it allowed the movie to breathe naturally, letting you in on its little surprises throughout. This was an enjoyable, intelligent, thought-provoking film and highly recommended.
Axiom (2022)
What a waste of time.
Impostor (or Axiom) is the kind of film you watch hoping that something - anything - would happen. It doesn't. Instead, what we get are long, drawn-out shots that clearly should've been cut up to stimulate interest in the viewer.
Perhaps this was intended as an art film? If so, it failed miserably. I kept asking myself, "Well, when do people realize he's not actually who he says he is?" Little did I know that that was not the intent of this film. A better title would've been "Liar" or "Faker" because that's all he was, a liar and a faker.
Another thing that irked me was the pseudo-philosophical babblings of some of the characters in the film. They spoke as if they'd uncovered the secrets of illusive human behavior which the world has yet to grasp. Yes, the movie was that pretentious...and boring. Epic fail. Don't waste your precious time like I did.
The Rooster (2023)
Why did this guy even become a cop?
I really wanted to like Rooster, but the sniveling, spineless, constantly crying cop made me wonder why he chose that job as opposed to, say, being a librarian or janitor at an elementary school.
I find it odd that people can simply push him around and he accepts it. Perhaps me, being an American, can't fathom that behavior because, in America, laying one hand on a cop can get you shoved face down into the concrete.
To be fair, I did like Hugo Weaving's mad character. I think he did a really good job. And I'm not faulting the actor who played the weak-willed cop, after all, that is what the script called for.
Do I recommend this as a good crime/mystery/thriller movie? Nope. It's really a buddy-type movie. If you're into that, Rooster fits the bill. If you're in the mood for a decent crime/mystery/thriller flick, look elsewhere.
Pitbull (2021)
Very good film.
At the time of this review, Pitbull: Exodus was rated 4.6 on IMDb. That's a gross injustice as this film was well-written, well-acted and exhibited excellent cinematography.
Among the many things I admired about Pitbull: Exodus was the sheer menace of the actor Przemyslaw Bluszcz brought to the film. In fact, it was the same menace he brought to another Polish crime thriller I recently saw, Colors of Evil: Red.
For years, my interest has been in Nordic noir with their flawed characters, bluish-gray cinematography, gloomy atmosphere, and the fact they don't shy away from presenting graphic violence, gore and nudity in their productions. It appears the Poles match them in their intensity, and Pitbull: Exodus is no exception.
Worth the viewing? I'd say so.
Amok (2017)
How much of it was really based on true events?
There were quite a few questionable elements in Amok which made me wonder how they could have transpired without anyone noticing.
To wit: In the beginning of the film, the novelist Krystian was in a room in his house carving up a woman like a Thanksgiving turkey while the rest of his family was ignorant of it. How could that be? How'd he sneak the woman in? I thought for a moment his wife was in on it because of some kind of strange agreement they'd made.
I was also hoping the film delved more into this carved-up woman, who she was, etc., but alas, that entire subplot was abandoned.
Generally speaking, the all-around acting in the film was solid as well as the cinematography. Poland sure looks good, especially scenes of the sea.
In the end, imho, Amok seemed disjointed and could have benefitted from a tighter, more coherent editing. As it stands, it's still watchable, but it's no big deal if you miss it.
Repulse (2021)
I fell for the hype. Silly me.
What's the difference between watching Repulse and a snail crawl across a dew-soaked meadow? None, zero, zip. They're both achingly slow. At least Repulse has a little dialog. Not much, but just enough to at least keep my interest.
The tagline for Repulse reads: The darkest and most disturbing Czech movie ever produced. Was it? Too bad because I've seen other European films that make repulse look like Barney & Friends.
What initially got me interested in watching this needlessly drawn-out affair was the fact it was mentioned in the same sentence as other gore-filled films like Inside and Martyrs. Was it even close to those? Nope, not by a longshot.
What also made me give Repulse a low rating was the acting of the child's mother. While everyone else was okay, her exaggerated, hammy acting brought the proceedings down. I would've said this was a one-star flick, but the cinematography was very crisp and clear and set design was very well done. Otherwise, Repulse should be considered a pass. Sorry.
X. (2018)
Worst. Detective. Movie. Ever.
I try my best to be sympathetic to characters which exhibit shortcomings such as bipolar 1 disorder, autism, PTSD, panic attacks, etc., but X: The Exploited really takes the cake.
If it wasn't bad enough that the female detective cries uncontrollably throughout the film, but the mere thought of her handling a gun makes her faint. I mean, why be a cop, let alone a detective, if you can't handle trauma? Are they so desperate for law enforcement and detectives in Budapest that they'll hire anyone?
The film really makes Hungarian law enforcement look like incompetent dolts, and I'm sure they're not like that at all. It's insulting, really. With all the weaknesses the lead detective has, she'd be better off driving a school bus or stacking books in a library. But then again, she may even find those occupations so stressful that they'd induce panic attacks anyway.
Tl;dr. X:The Exploited is a perfect waste of time. The writer & director should be ashamed of themselves.
Håndtering av udøde (2024)
Slow. Slow. Slow. Molasses slow.
I'm not sure who the producers and director of this film was aiming at, maybe a screening audience comprised of slugs and snails. But man, calling this film slow is the understatement of the century.
We get it. People arise from the dead and it takes a little while to adjust to this atrocity, but do we, the viewing audience, have to sit through the proceedings like we were wading through quicksand?
To be fair, the brooding atmosphere was on point as well as the acting of all those involved. There was in interesting idea introduced into the film, too, but because the development was molasses slow, it was almost unbearable to sit though.
Is this film recommended? Well, as they say, if you've seen one zombie film, you've seen them all. I watched it because I was interested in how Nordic noir via a zombie trope would play out. It was interesting. Too bad it was too slow to sustain anyone's interest.
Sikeurit (2009)
Okay thriller ruined by police ineptness.
I found it difficult that police investigations in South Korea are that inept and incompetent. It can't be. The detectives and coroner in Secret make the Keystone Kops look like Mensa members.
Is the police department so rigged that every cop is under the thumb of the local mobster? Speaking of the mobster (Jackal), why is he and his henchmen allowed to frolic about the city so casually, freely admitting to the detectives that he has committed murders, without any repercussions?
I really wanted to like this film, even going so far as to overlook the South Korean trope of having characters cry crocodile tears in drawn-out sad scenes while sappy string music played in the background. But in the end, the on-screen incompetence was just unbearable and unrealistic - unless, of course, that really is how crimes are investigated in South Korea. In that case, I stand corrected.
Daglicht (2013)
One of the best films I've seen all year.
I must admit: Being north of 60, I've become jaded to the plethora of mediocre films that had been released over the past 20 or 30 years. They all seem to be cheap rehashes of prior films, created to make a quick buck from the continuously endless parade of streaming sites that be.
Daglicht (Daylight) took me by surprise because I wasn't expecting anything other than a run-of-the-mill Nordic noir. Perhaps I'm biased because I'm also autistic like a few of the characters in Daylight, but special mention should be made that the filmmakers did portray autism fairly accurately.
Also, I was surprised by the strong relation this film had to Rain Man. You can almost call this a Danish Rain Man given its similarities.
Like a lot of Scandinavian noir, the atmosphere was perfect as well as the pacing, music and direction. Was some of the acting a bit over the top? Maybe. Hollywood is also guilty of making sure you can tell someone is autistic from a mile away. Nevertheless, Daylight is worth the two hours spent watching it and I look forward to more films from the creators.
Waidmannsdank (2020)
I for Incomplete
I had high hopes for this film mainly because of the scenery which, for all intents and purposes, was beautiful eye candy. That Austrian village seemed like the idyllic place to raise a family and have good friends by your side.
The acting, however, was just okay. Nothing special. To be fair, I saw the dubbed version which seemed weak. For instances, there were moments when the characters were screaming out their lines but the vocals dubs made sounded placid, tepid and lacking in emotion.
Perhaps the biggest disappointment was the incompleteness of the movie. Who rigged the ladder? That was never revealed. Who shot the police sergeant? That was never revealed. The police checked everyone's rifle but never thought to ask if the barn owner's son had a rifle? Lame.
It's interesting this film has three titles - Good Luck and Good Hunting, Appointment With Death and Waidmannsdank. Perhaps they should've stuck to one title such as The Ladder since that was its original focus. Of course, since that original focus drifted anyway, maybe the fact that the film was always in search of a proper title seemed appropriate for its inconclusiveness anyway.
The Mill (2008)
Very few redeeming values.
In all reality, this "film" is really a one. I rated it two stars because of the effort put into it. Was the acting atrocious? Absolutely. What about the script? Yep. It was ridiculous. The cinematography was also second rate. Why the director didn't put the movie through a film-like filter that can easily be achieved in Adobe Premiere or even free software like DaVinci Resolve is a mystery to me. Maybe they wanted a found film feel? I don't know.
The good thing about poor productions like these is film students can see what they should avoid in order to make their movies likeable. This film had zero scares. I can't even give myself a good answer to why I watched it all the way through other than to see what NOT to create if I ever get the hankering to make a horror film.
Cuckoo (2024)
Sigh. Yet another film in the long line of horrible films.
Let me count the ways:
Horrible acting? Check.
Horrible screenplay? Check.
Horrible direction? Check.
Scenes that make no sense whatsoever? Check.
I'd rate this movie as being just one (1) star but I do give the parties involved an E for effort as well as the cool visions of the Alps.
There was a time when a lot of energy was spent in producing quality films. Sadly, those days appear to be behind us now. With the proliferation of streaming sites, there's a concerted effort of quality over quantity. Those who have the most to offer win. I suppose they think the average viewer can't tell the difference between, say, The Godfather and a high school production. And they're probably right given the large amounts of positive reviews for Cuckoo. I do wish I could that 90 minutes back. Oh well. On to the next movie.
De behandeling (2014)
Falls apart at the end.
I get it. A hunky, mouth-breathing detective is all the rage in Lifetime Movie Land, but when you want a lawman to be strong, stoic and unaffected by crime scenes, The Treatment fails in that regard.
The positives about this movie are its Nordic noir influence - blue-green tints, gloomy atmosphere, subtle ominous background music. And yes, there are red herrings galore to keep the proceedings afloat; unfortunately, they add little more than simple ambience and, in the end, were obviously distractions.
To say that the federal detective makes a lot of questionable decisions is the understatement of the century - but I get it. They have to keep the running time long so people will get their money for the 2+ hours spent watching it.
In the end, The Treatment, or De behandling, is an average, nearly bloodless thriller. If the worst thing you've even seen in life is a cat stranded in a tree, then yes, this film will disturb you. For others, it's merely an ok walk in the park.