Reviews
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
A lot fun!
Just saw this on at the ArcLight in Hollywood. Well, not really, but I did just see it, it was a lot fun. On a Troma level it was awesome!. TONS of gore and naked chicks. And s**t. So much s**t. It almost made me puke when that fat guy was s**tting all over the damn place. And oh yeah, who was that a-hole that gets his eye pecked out?!? That f**ker look like a medieval page! What a stupid ass! A jerk like that probably eats orange hostess cupcakes and Burger King all day. F that guy! Also, that weird son of a gun in the beginning was freaky! The guy with long crazy gray hair! He probably knows that page guy and they hang out with a guy who looks like Criss Angel. All in all, the best Troma movie yet and I hope more people get to see it, because everyone needs to see this weird s**t; it will help them make sense of they're own lives. Oh yeah classic ending!
Ultimate Avengers (2006)
Terrible - The Ultimate Waste of a Story
Just watched this movie. I've never written for any movie on IMDb, but after seeing this thing, I had to. This movie was terrible. The movie reminded me of the Ninja Turtles cartoon. And people saying its better than Transformers is retarded - that show is over 20 years old. I just remember all the hype surrounding this project and it failed at every level. The animation was nothing more than Saturday morning cartoon fare. Maybe I was spoiled by SW- The Clone Was cartoons of late, but this movie stinks. All the movement was jerky, the character designs represented nothing from the comic (the art for the closing credits looks a million times better than the entire movie), the shading is terrible; it looked blurry, not like shading. It had no style to it what-so-ever. This movie sucked left to right. Up and down. A waste of time for everybody involved. It's like all Marvel projects, save for Spider-man and the X-men movies (we'll see about the third ones for each...), half-assed. Put some effort into these damn things and you might have a good product, not just something that makes money (imagine how bank the F4 would have made if it was, you know, good). Only the Punisher movie was worse than this ( and I haven't seen Elektra yet...). I'm not going to get into all thats wrong with this thing (script, dialouge, action, line reading, etc...) - I'm just going to re-read the original story and forget this mess. This movie sucked.
Blade: Trinity (2004)
The worst of the 3, but still OK
I can't say I was that disappointed by how average this movie was. I kinda a had a feeling going; hope for the best but be prepared for Van Helsing. That's not to say Blade Trinity is as bad as VH (I don't think anything is besides Lawnmower Man 2...), but ain't all that great either. The first 2 were heads and shoulders above this third one. The action was pretty cool, but where's all the blood? PG-13 level gore. And the lighting of the scenes seemed way too bright. Effects weren't that bad. About what you'd expect from the Blade movies. The main problem was the story was all over the place. Ryan Reynolds was funny too many times; every line he had was a joke. While most of it was funny, it felt out of place here. And what is up with the blood bank scene? Why were they there? They showed up and left. That plot point (if you can call it that) went nowhere and had nothing to do with anything. Anyway.
The bright spots were Jessica Beil & Snipes' few quips and anything mention above. All in all decent at best.