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Reviews
Matilda: The Musical (2022)
I absolutely hated this.
I like musicals, i love the story of matilda, i love Emma Thompson, i was so optimistic for this. But I absolutely hated it. The story has been altered beyond belief with stupid throw in bits that add nothing to the story. Most characters are either over or underacted. The visuals were nice, but good lord, the songs just went on and on and there were far too many which still couldn't not disguise the weak storyline and acting. The other thing is the children are just not likeable. Matilda especially has no screen presence at all. I legit could not finish it and tapped out with 40 minutes still to go. Such a destruction of one of Roald Dahl's best works and a real shame.
Patchwork (2015)
Unique, cheesy horror comedy
This is a strange movie but done cleverly. The plot whilst basic, is well shot and very funny at times. One of the weasley twins from harry potter has sex with a corpse at one point so if that doesn't make you laugh... lol.
Fresh Meat (2011)
Funny, accurate and very clever
Easy and laid back but very clever humor. The character of JP played by Jack Whitehall is a particular stand out. The character of oregon aswell reminds me of every college student trying to find a stand out identity but looking like they are trying too hard.
That's My Boy (2012)
Funny but adam sandler, find a new fake voice
I enjoyed this and it was funny but adam sandler's voice that he has now used for the characters of billy madison, hubie halloween, sandy wexler, and now this is old and tired. It would have fitted his character better if it was huskier and more old rocker style. Adam, i like your work but for goodness sake, if you can do drac in hotel transylvania and Zohan in don't mess with the zohan, why is this such a stretch???
Shark Huntress (2021)
16 reason why this movie sucks!!!!
1) boring
2) long and drawn out dialogue
3) poor acting
4) no likeable characters
5) you see maybe 5mins total of the shark
6) shark is horribly biologically inaccurate. It even has a dolphin's tail
7) the shark literally appears on call no matter where the characters are. One scene even sees it lured with a steak???
8) the characters walk everywhere with no luggage but have immediate access to a 2m tall antenna that they "bought with them"
9) the main character literally carries a picture of her mum everywhere. Not a photo, not a phone pic, a framed photo that fits easily into her tiny bag apparently
10) plot is non existent
11) "stunts" are terrible. Theres a scene with a woman on a kayak being "attacked" and you can see her swimming under the kayak although "dead"
12) main character has flash backs to kayak woman's death whilst learning to dive, despite neither knowing the woman or seeing her death
13) romance scenes are forced and random
14) main character shoots a spear gun on land. Whilst looking down the barrel. The force alone of the kick back out of water would have torn her jaw off
15) main characters outfit changes scene to scene with no explanation (watch for the pink top)
16) after their friends are killed they show literally no emotion
The best part of this entire movie is the driftwood chair the characters sit on when on the jetty.
Hellarious (2019)
Underrated and very funny
Very funny with some clever scenes. The killer kart and lunch ladies segments are phenomenal and I really enjoyed them. Worth a watch for cheesy but clever horror.
The Sopranos (1999)
Enjoyable and enthralling, if a little drawn out
Great show. Great premise, great acting, great characters (especially furio) but it can draw out at times. The character of meadow annoyed the hell out of me as did AJ but otherwise; just flawless.
Imawa no Kuni no Arisu (2020)
Unique and well done
A unique and very enjoyable look at how humanity reacts to forced violence. I enjoyed the characters and the twists and turns. I also enjoyed having a flashback to each character's past, it had me feeling sympathy for even the worst villains, well, except creepy tongue jerk. His explaining of rape whilst licking his victim made my stomach churn, but then that's just good acting!
Eiga: Kakegurui (2019)
Over the top enjoyable fun with many twist and turns
I actually really enjoyed this. The acting style is overdone in an intentional way to look like a real life anime cartoon and I think it takes a lot of skill for actors to pull that style off convincingly, but yet they do. Slow and excessive in a few places, but otherwise a great show and one I greatly enjoyed.
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
So clever and so funny
I love this show. I also loved the movie but I have to say the show is far better. The acting is superb and believable and it is so cleverly executed. Loved it.
Rick and Morty (2013)
Solid 10 until season 4 and 5
To be fair I think the creators have been forced to cash in on the popularity of the show and are being forced to churn out episodes faster which has made it lose its uniqueness. Seasons 1 - 3 are awesome. Solid 10/10. Season 4 was a 6. Not up to their standards but still ok. Season 5 is a train wreck. I gave it a 4 because I could watch it. Not enjoy it. Just watch it. I really hope they push season 6 back another year or 2 to give the writers a chance to produce the epic quality viewing that got them that original 10. I really do. Justin Roilland if you can see this, please, please, please, refuse to work until they give you back more of your creative input.
A*mazing (1994)
It was every Aussie kid's dream to be on this show
I loved it as a kid and always wanted to do the maze challenge. Host used to annoy me though.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
So, so, slow. And with constant annoying camera angles
Look, the first 2 episodes are interesting enough, but then beyond that, it's just so drawn out and slow. It takes forever to get through the episodes, the later down the series you get, and then after watching them it's like you know bugger all more than the previous episode. Think soap operas. How you can miss 2mths and then watch again and they are still at the party?
The camera angles are repetitive close ups of Elizabeth moss's face. Like to the point of you binge watch this you will be able to paint her portrait from memory and will have to get the tattoo of it removed from your brain. And it's always a close up of her with the same lifeless expression. I get it's a sad plot going on but geez put a party hat on her or something.
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
Should have been a movie
There is so much in this that could have been removed to make a really good movie. As it is it's been stretched into a bareable series. Beautiful cinematography and good acting but not groundbreaking, not an amazing script or concept. No idea why it has such high reviews as the script is very weak at best
Saved by the Bell (2020)
Better than expected
Look guys, the original premise of this series was over the top cheesiness and that worked in the early 90's. It won't work today so I love the tongue in cheek way that this reboot pokes fun at itself and the original series whilst still being enjoyable. I liked the original as a kid and I don't mind this as an adult. It's not groundbreaking or amazing but it's different and watchable and I was able to easily watch the first series with a fair amount of enjoyment. Can't ask much more in a netflix based world
V.C. Andrews' Heaven (2019)
Disappointing.
There are a lot of issues with this adaption of a fantastic book. The acting is ok but the actress playing heaven is somewhat stagnant and lacks emotional range.
The other issue is the actresses chosen to play Leigh, heaven and fanny, whilst lovely, are not attractive enough to play the characters they are supposed to be playing. Not that these women are in any way unattractive, but heaven and Leigh are said to be absolutely stunning in addition to Leigh being blonde like Jillian and heaven is certainly not a redhead.
The character of kitty Denison was also very disappointing to me. She is described as red headed, voluptuous and callous in the books, not a blonde sweet as pie stick figure that occasionally looks daggers rather than the constant violent beatings in the book.
The other issue I had is the sets. Farthingale manor is nowhere near as grand as described in the books, and the cabin the casteel family live in is far too modern, large, filled with furniture and well maintained rather than the dingy shack in the book that makes heaven's story that much more incredible.
So much was left out of the movie from the books that the whole mood is gone and this feels more like a bold and the beautiful episode at times. We also don't see enough of heaven's introduction to her new wealthy life.
Now onto the positives.
Jason priestly was a great tony, and Jillian was well acted. Fanny and heaven were too stiff and underwhelming for me but they had an alright delivery. For a stand alone movie it's ok, but as a tribute to the book it was upsetting and not recognizable apart from the characters names.
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
It missed the mark for me
Maybe you need to be from the country this was made in to understand certain subtleties in this but I found it whilst interesting, very lacking in plot and direction. Nothing was really well explained and it seems bizarre a lot of the choices that chihiro makes. Maybe I missed it but it was a non rewatched for me
Locke & Key (2020)
So much promise but such poor acting!
This is a great concept, visually great and worth a look but sadly it is just so badly acted. The character of Kinsey is both annoying and poorly acted, her love interest I pray is truly English and just trying to americanise his speech because that is the worst accent I have ever heard and he overacts to boot. All the high school scenes could be cut without it affecting the plot, all of the scenes with the English guy and his hip movie watching friends seem super forced and a waste of time. The keys aren't investigated enough and so far the only person with any acting ability is the young boy, and the villainess. Such a shame because I won't be watching season 2 to see if it gets better, I'd rather read the book
In the Tall Grass (2019)
For those confused....
Basically 6 people are stuck in a time loop that lures them into a field. For those that watched this thinking what the hell did i watch, i'm so confused, the best i can offer is this.
The grass is in front of the church, thus the grass is pergatory, the rock is the is the judge of who is a sinner and who is not. The grass is punishing you for your sins, and then only releasing those that pass its judgement.
By travis admitting his sins he was granted a second chance at life and saved along with those he loved. Tobin is either an innocent and was spared, or he was kept there also after being judged by the stone as his parents talk about how he is badly behaved early on. The church is where those that absolve their sins are sent to move on. Tobin's dad continued to sin whilst being judged, and is doomed to live in pergatory. Animals arent supposed to have souls in some religions, and thus couldn't leave. Tobin's mum isnt explained but i assume she too failed the sinning test since she also can't leave. The tree people are tortured souls unable to move on due to continued sin, and are driven mad from eating grass seeds for sustainance. Becky is forced to eat her child as punishment for considering aborting it and having it out of wedlock.
The cars at the church of the cars of those that didnt past the test in the field saying this has been happening for ages and is unstoppable. The dude crushing his wife's head?!! No idea, Im guessing perhaps a glimmer of the suffering that will await you if you are judged to be evil?
The phone call to herself was to show her you can't change fate, this has been planned all along and is not stoppable. The scenes with multiple bodies of themselves dead is to show how many times they have failed and force them to see or a punishment for each sin.
All i got. If I'm wrong, someone please explain it!!!
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Just terrible and not for kids
Where to start? This movie might have been groundbreaking animation wise if it had come out 15yrs earlier. Beyond that, even the high profile celebs doing the voices can't save it. My daughter (8) was confused and bored the entire way through, as was I. Who is this aimed at? Its boring for kids and boring for adults. The script is montone and boring. Roald dahl's story has been crucified to make way for what can only be described as "american hipster" garbage. I can't believe this has such high reviews, i really can't. I can only assume they are paid.