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Cory_Feloni
Reviews
Stranger (2022)
Did Tommy Wiseau write this?
Oh my god, the script is unbelievably terrible. First off, the plot. I couldn't believe how this was produced, or who would think of sinking money into this moronic, flimsy film. In no way was this film suspenseful and halfway through the film I wanted the main characters to die. Anyone making the film could have added a little bit of humour, but instead tried to develop the characters of the couple, which was executed poorly. The acting was dismal, if anyone thought of hiring any four of the cast just watch this film and reassess your foggy decision.
What made me laugh more than anything was the stranger. He just shows up and can barely speak English. The viewer doesn't have any idea why he's there or stalking the couple... he just shows up out of the blue and starts saying "take a sit" "chop chop". I thought to myself, did Tommy have anything to do with this movie? Is this film a way to launder money?
Regardless, I feel slightly dumber for watching this. I think eating a pile of lead chips would have been a better choice.
Banshee (2013)
Recycled with some T&A
Banshee is about an outlaw that assumes the position and role of a local Sheriff. It's a typical Wild West story that has been modernised to suit contemporary audiences. It is set in the fictional town of Banshee, Pennsylvania. The antagonists are Amish, Native American and Russian, making it somewhat original, but also leading me to believe that the writers were clutching at straws when they were pitching the show. Think Kingpin (Woody Harrelson) meets The Quick and The Dead and mix in Predator 2 (without the Predator).
The script is dull, chock full of one-liners and there are plenty of racy scenes making it awkward if you watch with your mother. The only thing that saves the show is the over-the-top violence, giving GOT a run for its money.
I sat through the show hoping the writers would up their game and maybe the plot would twist... but I was sadly mistaken. There are a few corny laughs but as a whole, Banshee left me feeling dumber after watching it. I can't believe it has a 8.6 rating on IMDB.
Miracle Valley (2021)
FFO Grindhouse and Bruce Campbell
Culty, ridiculous, funny and entertaining. It follows a couple who plan a vacation in an Arizonian desert. They are magically joined by another couple who give more of a back story to the two main characters. The couple are then stalked and seduced by a blood cult., while searching for a mysterious silver hawk. The trouble starts after they come in contact with the leader of the cult, where infidelity, death and disease ensue.
I.
Turner & Hooch (2021)
Any expectation is ruined
I only watched the pilot and television show is absolute trash. The fight and action sequences are thrown together it's over dramatic, over the top reactions to anything make this unrealistic and really stupid. The plot is so thin, that I cringed like I had eaten a bowl of lemons with the rind still on.
I figured it would have contained some nostalgic value but it actually made me think poorly of the original. This should have been left untouched. Waste of time.