Change Your Image
andrewmcl83-170-764416
Reviews
The 5th Kind (2017)
How is this rated 5.2? It is SO BAD!!!
I'm not even going to leave a long review here because this film already took up enough of my life. All I can say is this movie is horrible in every conceivable way. Also, I have no idea how this is in the horror genre.
Host (2020)
6.5??!! HOW?!?!
I cannot for the life of me understand how this film got this rating. Unless standards of horror movies have fallen off that much. This movie was flat out awful, there is no plot whatsoever, the characters have zero depth, and that is the only review it needs. Garbage.
The Door (2013)
So much potential. Horrible movie.
How can you label something a horror movie when there is nothing horrifying about it? Basically three people woke up with sleep paralysis and then just died. It was another one of those movies that just suddenly ended when you think you're only about halfway through. Most of the time you're just listening to a radio host whisper into a microphone. I agree with the person who said that this movie doesn't know what it wants to be, is it a horror movie, a thriller, a mockumentary? Just a bad movie. By the way those of you looking for a found-footage movie, this is not a found-footage movie in anyway. I am a very big fan of the found-footage genre and there are so many bad found-footage movies now. If you want to watch a movie that you keep waiting for it to be scary, this is it.... the worst part is I paid $5 to rent it on Amazon Prime.
Rubber (2010)
Stupid
Supposed to be a comedy based on the premises that there's no reason for anything. But it fails horribly it being funny.
Mr. Jones (2013)
Bad movie
If you want to watch a movie that makes 123 minutes feel like 6 hours and not have a clue what is going on, while simultaneously having lights flashed every split-second this is the movie for you. If not, this movie completely freaking sucks and I'm questioning myself on why I'm even giving it 3 stars. My eyes couldn't even take the damn flashing and what was the last half-hour all about?
The Cleaning Lady (2018)
Pretty good
Not the best film ever and had some kinda pointless characters but overall its definitely worth your time. Its got good acting from the female leads and the protagonist is GORGEOUS. I wish i could give 6.5 stars but i went with 7 bc I feel its a little under rated on here. It is definitely not your typical stalker/obsession movie, its a slow burn but it is a burn that keeps your interest which is more than i can say for most "horror films" nowadays. Also some real nasty scenes.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
I want my money back
I spent $3 to watch this drek on Prime. I liked Rob Zombie's other movies but this is horrible. Don't believe these are tea party reviews that are giving him 8 and 10 stars for this film. If you're a fan of Rob Zombie movies you will absolutely hate this, it is boring and every time it seems like something is happening it turns out to just be a dream, then the end is absolutely freaking ridiculous and stupid.
It's basically about witches that want revenge on descendants of the people that lived in Salem during the time of the witch trials and they are trying to bring about the Antichrist through the Reverend that persecuted them. Basically it's just a bunch of stupid visual effects such as priest masturbating, and a random dead body standing in Sherri Moon's kitchen that she doesnt even see, and then at the end Sheri Moon Zombie gives birth to this wiggly squiggly insect looking thing that is supposed to be the Antichrist and then it's over. It says if someone said okay I'm going to get 50 directors and have them all do a 2-minute videos of something to do with witches and then just strung them all together with no rhyme or reason. Again, if you like his other movies do not watch this it is horrible. The only reason it gets three stars instead of one is because as usual, his wife did the best she could. He really owes all of his movies to her.
The Interview (2013)
Really bad and obvious
Watch a couple drive around the whole movie talking about serial killers until the completely predictable happens. Once again anyone rating this 6 or higher worked on or is friends with people who worked on this borefest of a film.
Brightburn (2019)
Could have been so much more
I really hope someone takes this premise amd does it better. It was just bad acting, especially from the parents Tama there wasn't really any character development at all even with the kid transforming from good to bad. There was a lot of gory scenes but even though he seems off for some reason. Honestly there's not even really a fly, like it's just this kid that gets in trouble in school a couple times and then starts acting weird around his parents and turns out to be evil. Half the movie you just see if flash Wishing by your screen it's really nothing special, it's a good movie to watch Once if you have 90 minutes to waste. Also being that it's rated R, I think it should be two hours, if done correctly.
Halloween (1978)
All these 10s??
Look I'm sure in 1978 it was scary, and I'm sure to a 60 year old it's nostalgic and classic. But I'm 37, I'm right in the middle and I don't see it. The only good scene was the prologue and they even managed to make that look ridiculous when the parents and 6 yr old Michael were just standing in the driveway motionless as the camera zoomed out for what seemed like a full minute. You don't ask why your six-year-old son is standing at the end of the driveway with a big kitchen knife? No reaction? Curiosity?
One thing I keep reading is that it was "the 1st real slasher film and everyone else just copied." Well I say that everyone else just did it better, and it was not the 1st slasher film.
The characters were boring and some even so pointless I wonder why they made the cut. The sheriff for example, what was the point of him besides driving around the neighborhood? He contributed zero to the story. A psychiatrist hiding in the bushes with a gun? He was in the movie for a grand total of about 5 minutes but manages to be the hero at the end, its just bad. There is no character development at all, everything just kind of happens and it takes too long. For example the scene where the door wouldn't open because a garden rake was leaning against it lol. I actually hit FF until she got it open. Only 3 kill scenes, nothing that made you squirm or feel bad for the character being killed off. I guess there were 4 if you want to count the prologue, you don't even see him kill the dog.
Look the movie is 92 minutes. I suggest you watch the 1st 10 minutes, and FF to the final 10. The rest is filled with 29 yr old women playing high school kids that you want to die so bad, but it takes too long.
My rating has nothing to do with the fact that it was made 42 years ago. It just isn't good. There are plenty of movies from this time period with low budgets that I've given good ratings to. Sorry but someone has to be real about this..
The Black Water Vampire (2014)
Blair Witch with snow meets Rosemary's Baby FF style
The 1st hr of the movie you can basically fast forward if you've seen The Blair Witch. Even to the point where they discover they walked in a perfect circle. But its not as good as Blair Witch by any stretch.
Anyway the premise is, this one chick wants to do a documentary on these 4 killings. Theres a guy sitting in prison on death row for committing the murders and they go talk to him bc she believes hes innocent. They never go back to that guy or that entire part of the plot again. The writing was just really bad. So then they go do the blair witch things, run around the woods, get lost, argue, stupid sybols left at night. At one point they even realize an old lady totally incapable of trecking miles through the woods and snow is behind them watching them, but again nothing happens, they never go back to it, it never enters the plot again. Anyway they finally get to their destination and they're all standing in kind of a circle, the camera pans right, pans left again and then the only decent actor of the four just vanishes. But you can guess by now there's never an answer for that, they never find him, and it never enters the plot again. Anyway it turns out its a vampire type thing thats killing them and one girl somehow I got pregnant by this vampire and was ready to give birth in like 24 hours, and the townspeople were all there for the birth. It ends with vampire babies 1st bday. Again all the town folk were there celebrating.
Literally Blair Witch in the snow meets Rosemary's Baby with a Vampire.
This is normally a 4-star movie for me, I'm not sure why I'm giving it 5 stars, I guess because there was no point in which I wanted to turn it off or fast forward, it did hold my interest. And they got into it pretty fast, there wasn't 45 minutes of just people talking and goofing around doing absolutely nothing with the plot like in so many found footage films these days. So yea, 5 stars but should be 4.
Interior (2014)
Anyone who rates this above 4 is someome that helped make this "film"
This was so bad. The acting was so bad. The editing was so bad. The music was so bad and didnt even match up with what was going on. For example, in one scene he is simply opening a laptop and they are playing this horrible techno beat. The whole movie just sucked especially the END, made no sense at all. The conversations and the shifts between cameras just feels choppy, like a soap opera. Just really bad. I only gave 2 stars bc i actually feel bad for him. God back to film school dude.
To Jennifer (2013)
Good acting
The acting and the end are good. But the ride getting to the end you can very easily FF. I had to FF through about a combined 15 minutes
The Do-Over (2016)
Best Adam Sandler movie in YEARS
Or Dana Carvey for that matter....this movie is funny that's all there is to it
The Do-Over (2016)
Best Adam Sandler movie in YEARS
Or Dana Carvey for that matter....this movie is funny that's all there is to it
Game Over, Man! (2018)
Adam Devine just isnt funny
I think i smircked about 4 times. Not once did I actually laugh. The only person remotely funny was the billionaire Arab guy.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
Yawn
Over 30 mins in and so far its a movie about a dog that doesn't stop barking and a guy trying to remodel a house but he puts drywall up backwards and Plumbing to him is hitting pipes with a hammer. I am really contemplating Calling it Quits I'll stick through and see if I change it from this three star rating. Oh btw he had sex with this hot girl but they didn't even show anything, except the dog barking....
Survive the Hollow Shoals (2018)
Seriously SOOOO BAD
Let me start by saying that anyone who gives this movie anything above a five clearly works on the movie or is friends with people that work on the movie. There is absolutely no plot. He just kind of sits around His campsite listening to deathly screams and really makes no big deal of it. There was one part he discovered a skeleton. It looks like one of those plastic skeletons your mom puts outside on Halloween and they just never went back to that, he never went to report it or anything lol. It really is deserving of 1 * and it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life and I really like found footage movies.
Nightmare Box (2013)
If you are looking for another stupid repititive Insidious type movie you should not be reviewing this
This is not a film for what has become todays typical big budget supposed "horror" fans with the jump scares and same old story of expelling a demon from someome who has slowly been posessed.
I wouldnt even call this a horror movie, I would call it mystery and suspense. I do agree with one reviewers post that it kind of felt like a stage performance but it doesnt matter because this film is good. It has good acting, a good plot, and a good mystery. If you are okay with that you will enjoy this movie, but if you are looking for the jump-scares or gore just skip it.
It is really a shame that people are reading this movie either 1 or 2 stars, or 10 stars. This is a solid 6, it would have been 7 but unfortunately I figured out what was going on before the film revealed itself.
The Report (2019)
Should have just been a documentary
This movie was so boring. No connection with the actors, no substance to them. Basically just watching a guy work for 2 hrs. All these people giving these 8 and 9 stars are probably just doing so for political purposes. The lead actor is SO boring, I can't see how this is a good movie in any way. It is not suspenseful at all, it jumps all over the place with what year you're in, which works in a lot of movies but in this it just comes across as a jumbled pointless mess of a timeline. It was very hard to stay awake even with them constantly playing suspenseful music, but watching two people talk is not suspenseful and that is all that ever happens, 2 people talk, they debate some things, a guy does some research for like 8 years....
The Devil Complex (2016)
Thank god this movie ended
What a horrible ripoff of blair witch. Like many commentors said, just follow your own foot prints?!?! And how many ff movies are going to end with someone being dragged away by something you cant see, not saying that happened here, just so I don't have to put that I have spoilers lol.... I love FF movies but their are SO MANY bad ones.
In a Stranger's House (2018)
SO SO SO SO SOOOOOO BAD!!!!!
This is a mivie about a guy who whispers the entire movie so quietly you hear about 1/4 of what he says, something about a doll, some dogs, the absolute worst portrayal of fear by an "actor" EVER, oh and lets not forget the absolutely pointless drum beating and chanting in the beginning that have sent anyone running for their lives. I literally fell asleep every 5-10 mins bc of the whispering. How do you make a movie where noone hears you!? Oh and the ending, brutal. Nothing makes sense in thos movie, nothing is connected or explained, it is just CRAP. Let me add that i love found footage movies and i am here to destroy the drek that is out there and this is the worst of the worst. There is no way this is legitimately five stars, those ratings must have come from people that know the "filmmaker".... oh by the way, there's actually something laughable, all the doors in the house supposedly close him into the area where you enter the attic and then the attic door pops open and he actually goes up there to begin the ending 😭
The Quarry: 2011 (2011)
Welllll...at least the girl was hot??
Wow, where to start? Let me 1st say that I am a huge fan of found footage movies and somehow I discovered this was in my watchlist on Amazon Prime so I said what the hell. But this movie was horrible from beginning to end. I guess i can describe the 1st 40 minutes as watching 4 of the most boring people hang out together and talk in monotone voices. It felt like one of those nights in my late teens or early 20s where somehow I wound up hanging out with a new group and they are just awful. I mean they drank corona LIGHT for god's sake. You literally just watch them drive and shop and talk for 40 minutes. The audio and video are brutal!! I mean even with like a $5,000 budget you should get a decent camera. Once it gets to be night time at the 40 min mark you can only see about 8 feet in front of the camera and the rest of the screen is just black with a purple hue to it, night vision anyone???!!! Their conversations are mostly drowned out by the sound of them walking down this path in which the girl suddenly starts shreaking and they all freak out bc apparently they saw a person, i saw a purple hue. So then literally from the 44 min mark to the 49 min mark 2 of the guys just stand there shining their itty bitty teeny weeny flashlights back and forth trying to find the person while the girl and her bf head back. After 5 min you finally catch a glimpse of the guy so they head back to the camp site. After some more unmemorable drek, with about 15 min left in the movie some guy shows up with some sort of dolly and hes got a reao flashlight and they cant see him bc he is purposely blinding then with it. Some gun shots are fired and the camera guy gets about 50 feet away and just records and watches this guy tying up his friends and putting potato sacks over their heads and does NOTHING but cry like the biggest sissy ever. Btw you can barely see what's going on because like I said the camera is horrible. So he hauls one of them away on his Dolly and he runs over to check on the remaining two and a pitchfork or something comes flying into the picture but doesn't hit him but for some reason he falls over pretty much unconscious and he gets tied off too and also put in a potato sack and they all just wind up getting thrown in the quarry....the end..... I swear to god this movie is AWFUL and i plead with you, do not waste an hr and 20 minutes of your life. There is no plot, the characters are so boring, it takes so long to get started, and the audio and visual are beyond brutal. The only reason it got two stars instead of one is because of the way that he killed off the final guy oh, I did like that. Also, you got to see the blonde girl in a bikini for about a minute and she is pretty hot so you guys can thank her for the second star.
The Monster Project (2017)
The actors...
If you can get through 10 minutes of the black guys voice horrible over acting i give you credit....this movie sucks. Mostly bc of the black guy
The Monster Project (2017)
The actors...
If you can get through 10 minutes of the black guys voice horrible over acting i give you credit....this movie sucks. Mostly bc of the black guy