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Reviews
Fire with Fire (2012)
Fire with Fire? More likely Snooze-athon
I believe never to let facts ruin a good story, but if you are trying to sell horsesh*t as roses, at least have the decency to polish those turds to a high sheen. Everybody looks ashamed to be associated with this bomb and they only completed the project to claim their paychecks. So what does this stinker consist of? It starts with a fire where the fireman gets rewarded with a box of very expensive booze (as if anybody would hand it out after their home or place of business burned down), our hero & friends end their shift & decide to drink the booze, our hero gets trapped in a convenience store where the very predictable evil white guy kills the very predictable victims from a minority group, our hero escapes and only gets shot in the arm, he identifies the villain, decides to testify against him and enters witness protection. Hero decides to take the fight to villain, get seven shades of sh*t beaten out of him every few minutes (without any side effects). Hero kills villain. Pop in some cheesy lines, bad acting and profanity for the sake of profanity and you get the whole movie on a cheese platter, albeit a moldy cheese platter. Watch at your own peril. Rather read a book, any book, the plot and suspense of Little Red Hiding Hood is better. The 1 star is for Bruce Willis, just because my mom worships the man.
Alien Private Eye (1989)
This gem is unforgettable, for all the wrong reasons...
I had the terrible misfortune of watching this little gem more than 20 years ago and its stuck in my memory for all the wrong reasons! The problem is that it **could** have been a great sci-fi, if only they had one (or more) of the following: (a) a better cast, not even A- or B-list actors, just better ones, and/or (b) a bigger budget, although this is not a necessity, excellent horrors/sci-fi films have been made on a small budget and/or (c) a better director, this one is actually a no-brainer because a good director will bring out the best from the actors, even if they are Z-list. The script is not terrible, just the delivery of it is. The soundtrack is not cheesy, it's downright horrible. Two decades down the line and I'm still unable to forget the god-awful screeching of the violins. One scene I will never be able to forget is one scene where our hero grabs a suspect, tilts him sideways, and shouts gleefully "ahh...plastic surgery!" and then the violins... This film will stay with you forever, it will be burned into your cortex and the final thought on your deathbed will be of those god-awful violins.
Deadheads (2011)
Horrible mess
If I could give this crap a score of zero, I would. I would however prefer to score it as a minus ten. The stink of this movie will never leave my DVD player or home. I love zombie movies, but this is not one of them. Everything, from the script to the acting is poor and forced, I've seen kindergarten school plays with better acting. It seems the only way they tried to spice this stinker up is by having some idiot in a ill-fitting yellow hazard suit dropping the f-bomb with gusto. If you want to watch a cheesy overacted horror movie, rather watch the original Evil Dead. At least it was never meant to be anything but cheesy and is still funny. Watch at your own peril, I had the burning feeling to scoop my brain out with a rusty teaspoon, but was unable to obtain one. God have mercy on your soul, should you ignore sound advice and still choose to watch this.