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Reviews
Invincible (2021)
I Started Out Liking This...
Season 1 is pretty good and I started out enjoying this series, however now having watched all of season 2, it's just getting so whiny, and snowflakey. What they consider "life problems" just aren't in my opinion. If you go back and look at oh say Spiderman and Peter Parker and what he did to juggle his personal life, being a superhero, and keeping a secret identity to protect those he loved and cared about and all of his sacrifices, then compare it to Invincible, Spidey is very self sacrificing and refuses to give up or let anything hold him back or down. Invincible is all me me me and how does this effect me and I need two days off from being a superhero so I can have a gf and just omg give me break. It's so self indulged and narcissistic cause that's how people are these days, how is this gonna effect me, what about me and what I want and what I need. There's no self sacrifice at any or all cost, there's no the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or even the one and it's just cringe-worthy and sad and pathetic.
So, I dunno, if they don't pull this together in the next season and have Invincible get his ducks in a row and get and see some priorities and learn a little self sacrifice for the greater good cause THAT'S what it means to be a superhero and THAT'S what being a superhero is all about, yeah it's lonely at the top but you chose to sit atop the mountain so, suck it up buttercup and put your big boy pants on. So yeah, if they don't get that figured out and get Invincible on track with that, I may just be washing my hands of this show cause, all this woe is me and what about me and all the me, my, and mine is getting old fast and not interesting and not good story telling, regardless of what today's social outlook may think.
Amityville Uprising (2022)
Amityville=Avoid At All Costs
I don't know why they keep making the movies with "Amityville" in the title like they're supposed to be attached to the other movies, cause they're not and they haven't been for really, really long time. In fact, it's gotten to the point that if Amityville is in the title these days, you should avoid it like the plague.
Terrible script, terrible acting, terrible everything and not one of those it's so bad it's good, it's just bad.
The SFX are ok, that's the one star cause it's give it zero stars if they'd let me. Yeah so I don't know what else to say other than I've seen better acting from high school plays. Don't let your curiosity get the better of you like I did, skip this, avoid this, can't believe it even got made.
JFK: What the Doctors Saw (2023)
Looks Like I'm The Odd Man Out
This is just another flimsy conspiracy theory documentary building a mountain of a conspiracy garbage on flimsy, weak evidence.
It's been heavily proven that eye witness testimony is NOT the great source of evidence that we once thought it was. In fact, it's become so flimsy that prosecutors now of days don't and won't solely depend on it anymore when trying a case and won't even take a case to court if the only evidence they have is eyewitness testimony like they used to in the past. It's the same reasons why a confession alone isn't enough to try a case anymore, they have to have other physical and circumstantial evidence backing up and proving the confession to be true as best as they can or in court terms, "beyond a reasonable doubt."
Almost ALL the cases that the innocence project have taken on and proved that the convicted person was actually wrongfully convicted, all had garbage, bunk eyewitness testimony in them. In fact, some of them, the wrongfully convicted person was convicted solely on eyewitness testimony that was completely wrong and incorrect and they were fortunate enough to be exonerated by DNA evidence later on, and these are cases from the 80's and 90's before DNA was discovered and heavily utilized in criminal cases! It's called the "Gold Standard" of evidence for a reason, cause it not only convicts people, it can exonerate them as well.
If you really want to know the truth to JFK's assassination, you need to watch JFK: The Smoking Gun. It is a documentary that examines the ballistics and PHYSICAL EVIDENCE of what took place and occurred on 11-22-63. It explains the "magic bullet" and how it wasn't magic, it was just incorrect in the Warren Commissions findings and that Governor Connally was placed incorrectly in president's limo and when moved to the correct place where he was actually sitting, shows a straight trajectory in line of all the hit points of JFK and Governor Connally. It also explains why the final 3rd shot caused different damage and ultimately fatally ended JFK's life. There actually was two shooters and two different guns and bullets fired into him. But it all came from behind him. Not only does JFK: The Smoking Gun explain and lay all of this out, it explains why the Secret Service acted the way they did after the assassination and broke the chain of evidence command as well as flat out ignored Texas's laws in regards to not allowing a body to leave the hospital when an autopsy needs to be performed when a homicide has occurred. Watch the doc if wanna know more. It's free on all the free streaming apps with ads.
So, do I trust a bunch of still in medical school and in residency doctor's eyewitness testimony from 60 years ago? And that I'm sure were under extreme stress and duration and pressure at the time of their examination of JFK? Nope! Do I trust PHYSICAL FORENSIC BALLISTIC evidence? Yep. Mainly cause I have two associates degrees in crime scene investigation and forensics because before I got disabled, I was in school to become a crime scene tech as my career.
So yeah, now keep in mind, JFK: The Smoking Gun is only one side of a two-sided coin. There's a hole other side in regards to Oswald and Ruby and all that narrative, but that's another story for another time.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Sorry, But This is the Start of the Death of This Franchise
I'm not getting how the ratings are so high for this movie. Sadly, I think Fallout is gonna be the last good film for this franchise. They brought in/on way too many new characters, and no one is tricked by writing them in like they've been a part of the story from the get go.
But to mention the new additions all suck. That dumb big foreheaded blonde chick with Gabriel is just awful. So is Gabriel, he's a major step down from Lane and the Syndicate. Plus, all the stupid stuff he says and he's letting AI control him or be his boss or whatever, stupid.
The thief chick is so annoying and anyone who says she's new and different and hasn't been done before is an idiot and no fan of the franchise. Uh yeah it's called MI2 she was a thief duh. Nothing new.
I get they're trying to do a plot revolved around a current real world potential fear, but they didn't execute well here at all. That being said, granted this a part one, so I'll hold my full judgements until I see the other half but as of right now, we're off to a bad start.
Leatherface (2017)
The Reviews Are Bad For All The Wrong Reasons
So, it's pretty well known and canon that Leatherface had a flesh eating skin disease on his face when he was very young which is what disfigured his face. He was made fun of, bullied, and ridiculed while growing up not to mention he was also severely mentally handicapped.
This "origin" if you will of how and why he became the psycho sadistic slasher serial killer he did, not to mention his crazy cannibalistic family raising him as well, has been stuck to and canon in ALL the TCM movies to come before THIS steamy POS, even the remakes held true to it!
This movie actually probably would've held more weight and got better responses if it DIDN'T try to be a TCM origin movie and just was a stand alone horror/slasher movie, but they wanted to attach it to the TCM franchise and coattails to try to get more buzz and interest and promotion for it, which was a terrible mistake, cause as a TCM "origin" movie it's complete garbage and just ignores all the previous canon origin that's been used and stuck to throughout the entire franchise. So, not only does it stink for what it's trying to be, it slaps the franchise in the face while doing it!
Yeah forget that, so this movie sucks, isn't canon, isn't the origin of Leatherface in my book and just plain is a rip-off trying to be something it's not. Skip it.
10/31: Part 3 (2022)
Could've Done Without This One...
So, the first two installments of this franchise/series while not award winning weren't bad and were tolerable. They clearly ran out of little horror indy movie makers to go to that are worth a damn cause they scraped the bottom of the barrel with this one.
These are all anthology movies btw, so they all have 4 or 5 or 6 little short films in them. That's another weak point of these, besides the crappy acting, unlike good anthology movies like Tales From The Darkside or Creepshow or Twilight Zone, the movies, not the series, where the short movies are all woven together by an overall bigger story, these just have this ugly fat chick with her boobs hanging out trying to be a rip-off Elvira acting or well actually not acting, yeah she can't act either, like the hostess of a show presenting the shorter stories.
It's just not original at all, everything is a rip-off of something that's already been done... better. Like I said earlier, the first two were somewhat tolerable but this third installment is just awful. The acting is atrocious, there's not one saving factor at all.
So, unless you just LOVE the first two and are so stoked they made a third one you can't just contain yourself, skip this one, or just go watch the other two. Oh, and you can fast forward through the can't act ugly fat wannabe rip-off Elvira on all of these, you're not missing anything but a good example of what bad acting is. She really serves no purpose whatsoever.
Alright I've said my peace and done my do diligence warning people about this atrocity they call a anthology horror movie.
Dr. Saville's Horror Show (2022)
REAL REVIEW
Let me first say, any review above 3 stars is FAKE! Either paid for, buddies of the people involved in making this steaming pile of garbage, or the actual people involved in making this steaming pile of garbage.
Acting-TERRIBLE
Stories-TERRIBLE
SFX-TERRIBLE
I think you get the point, I'm not gonna go any further into this cause it's not worth my time. Skip this, it's awful in every aspect possible.
Ok so, apparently I have to go a little further cause there's now a minimum required amount of characters for reviews. I gotta say the acting is just awful in this. Not as bad as someone who just reads their lines from the script with no emotion, yeah I've seen garbage with acting that bad in it befit m before sadly, but this is really close to it.
Trust me, just skip this. There's better stuff to choose from and watch.
Urban Legend (2022)
The Only Urban Legend Here Should Be The Urban Legend To Not Watch This
Is it me or does this show just wreak of terrible, lazy, writing and acting? I mean, you've already got great, strong, foundations in the source material to build from and THIS is what they put out. Yep, that's pretty much what this is, already known and established Urban Legends with added monkey poo flung all over them to make them long enough to be individual episodes.
For example, episode 2, "The Bite" probably one of the most well known famous Urban Legends, where the spider bites your face and lays eggs in your cheek while doing so. Well, that only took up about 15 mins so what did they do? Ripped off the movie "The Fly" Jeff Goldblum version and made that the other 15 mins. Watch the episode and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. Oh but it was horribly and poorly done and the actors were terrible on top of that.
Eli Roth is a played out one trick pony has been who never was and everything he keeps attaching his name to is proof in the pudding. It keeps sucking more and more and getting worse and worse.
If you're bored and can't find anything to watch, this might make some acceptable background noise why you do something else, you can give it a go and see if you end up liking it. TV, movies, music, art in general is subjective so what works for one person may not work for the next and vice versa.
My personal advice though is to skip it and find something better to watch, I assure you there's plenty to choose from.
Jared from Subway: Catching a Monster (2023)
Should Be Called Rochelle Herman's Story
I'm just gonna cut right to the bone here, if you want more detail or explanation, read one of the other novel long reviews.
I believe fully that what Jared was accused of he did and he's where he needs to be.
That being said, this documentary if you will, and more about Rochelle Herman and her experience with Jarod. Well, she's missing a few bats in her belfry. My breaking point was when this yeah claimed she was diagnosed with RSD, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. Yet, if you look this diagnosis up, it says when it rarely occurs, under 200k cases a year btw, it's almost always after some injury or form of trauma or surgery, etc. NOT FROM PARANOIA AND OVER EXEMPLIFIED STRESS!
See, I'm actually a chronic pain sufferer myself. How did I get it? Cancer! Yep, tons of chemotherapy getting pumped through my body for months on end to fight and beat cancer also damaged my nervous system. That's justifiable. Her BS reasoning is not. That was just the straw that broke the camels back, there's SO much more.
This show is nothing but a look at me pity me feel sorry and bad for me party for Rochelle Herman and it's garbage, boring, and disgusting. Just watch one episode and you'll get the same off, suspect, creepy feeling all the rest of us got watching her.
She goes on after claiming her diagnoses of RSD that it's known as suicide disease, because it is the most painful chronic disease known to man. EHH BS no where does it say that about this disease, and with my neuropathy and chronic pain I deal with daily, I can assure you I've felt far worse pain, like Wynn my gallbladder got infected, or having my bone marrow pulled. All things far more painful, just thankfully not chronic. Oh and as she is spilling all this garbage, that's when you get your first shots of her being in a wheelchair. Then she talks about the pain meds, yeah lady dog you just became an addict junkie is what happened to you. Then she talks about hour it cost her her career... LADY YOU WERE A RADIO DJ!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!! There's no way this cost you a career that you were already sitting down at parked on your planted fat butt!
So this went on far longer than I intended. But that's what her nonsense does to me.
Baby Blue (2023)
Nothing New, Been Done Before
The premise is old, tired, and played out. What truly sucks about it and is its major downfall in my opinion is this annoying, slobbering, caveman looking kid, Cyrus Arnold. Someone never taught him how to swallow his spit and anytime he gets erratic, which is often unfortunately, he starts drooling every where. Also, when he talks, his mouth sounds like it's full of his spit 24/7. Last, he is one ugly dude, hence the caveman reference earlier. So, sucks looking at him, sucks listening to him talk, makes him a weak link.
Aside from that, it's like every other pile of garbage coming out these days with a young/teen leading cast, full of angst and piss and vinegar which keeps the viewer from connecting with the character or giving 2 squirts about what happens to them or if they live or die.
Of course there's the other "admirable" trait the "ask Google" generation oozes, the know everything when really knowing nothing mentality because they are almost solely educated on Google and the internet. Which makes them think they know everything with the ease and speed of merely looking something up on their smartphone for any and all answers which, anyone with half a brain cell knows you can't believe or trust anything on the internet without taking a grain of salt with it, except for the Gen Z/ask Google generation, they take it all in full stride.
So, if these kinda things don't bother you or your just a young reader of this review, feel free to watch this, there's far worse out there trust me, just don't pay to watch it, it's free on Tubi.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Definitely The Bottom Rung On A Long, Long Ladder Of The Zombie Subgenre
So, as many reviews as there are for this movie, I'm not gonna go into any great detail about why this movie is just a big pile of stinker and why it should've never been made to begin with.
However, I have to write a minimum amount of characters to post this so, alas here we are. Zombie fans will not like this movie, and people who enjoy Victorian era movies and the "romance" that is awkwardly and untruely represented in these types of movies, won't like this movie either.
So one has to ask him or herself, who in the hell is this movie for? With that, I digress as I have reached my minimum quota and wish to waste no more time on this review. If you want a more detailed in depth review of why this movie is a stinker only worthy of being skipped and not watched, just pick one of the 100s of reviews with the same low rating as mine.
Stairs (2019)
Looks Like The Survey Says! 1 Star!
Ok, so there's already 30+ going on 40 reviews about what a whopper of a stinker this movie is, so I'm not gonna go into great detail just repeating and rehashing what all these other reviews have already hit the hammer on the head.
Acting sucks, story sucks, it could've been something interesting and decent but alas, it didn't turn out that way.
All I'm gonna say is, when you find 3 big, stupid, idiotic blunders in the first 5 mins of the movie, and just a complete arrogant, ignorant one in the first 10, safe to say things aren't going to improve as the movie goes on. So this female soldier gets shot in the leg and is hopping and hobbling around and the very next scene she's trotting and jogging along with the rest of the group to an evac location like nothing happened. Then, once she gets in the stairwell, her injury returns and becomes an issue again as she is limping and hobbling up the stairs. Yeah you tell me.... stupid. Skip this one.
Influencer (2022)
Nothing Influencing About This Movie
First off, these other reviews are bots, payoffs, or friends of the people that made this steamy pile excuse of a movie.
First off, this is not a thriller, horror, or even a mystery. I'm not even sure what to classify it as besides what not to do if you're ever globetrotting solo.
It is however another dive into the complete ignorance, shallowness, and unrelenting lack of any merit or positive qualities that Gen Z does and does not possess. No sympathy or empathy for any of the characters. This is gonna sound shallow and mean but at this point, I don't much care, the lead has a ginormous birthmark covering almost the entire side of her right face, and it's very, very distracting. I mean, if you saw this girl out in public and looked at her as much as you have to in this movie, you'd get smacked and told it's not polite to stare.
There's a reason why 30 + years ago, actors and actresses were all generally considered to be more attractive than the average person. We go to movies and watch movies and read books to escape from the drab and drearyness of the real world. So, when you cast less attractive people or weird looking people, that's not what we want to sit and look at for the next hour and a half or more. We see and look at that every day all day in our normal run of the mill lives. Plus, when it's something to the degree of this person's situation, it's very distracting as well as distracts from the movie and any escapism you were hoping to experience and enjoy.
Aside from that, the movie is very boring, lead birthmark girl gets figured out almost instantly and then, at the end when the bf confronts her and even gets the leg up on her, the turn around is so bad and unbelievable it completely ruins the rest of the movie.
UPDATE: I wrote this before watching the last 10 mins so, something else happened and I even gave it an extra star for it. That's all I'm saying.
I'd say the only minute redeeming quality the movie has is that it takes place in Thailand, and so, therefore, the scenery is very pretty.
Skip this, I wish I had.
Those Who Call (2023)
I've Got Nothing To Say That All The Other Reviews Haven't Already Said
So, if you've ever wondered what it would be like to develop an eye twitch and what grinding your teeth feels like, by all means, watch this movie. If on the other hand that doesn't sound like a very pleasurable experience then you'll definitely wanna skip this one.
The ENTIRE movie is two, extremely annoying, terrible acting "sisters" arguing and bickering with each other to the extent of testing every single nerve of patience you possess in your body. The script is HORRIBLE! They do that stupid annoying 3 questions in a row back to back to back that NEITHER of them can even answer to begin with. For example, "who are they?" "What do they want with us" "Why are they doing this" all one right after the other and they do this VERY ANNOYING thing THROUGHOUT the entire freaking movie!
I'm telling you skip this movie. Bad acting, bad story, bad EVERYTHING! There is absolutely nothing, not one positive thing about this movie. Just so, so, so annoying! It's taking all I've got to get to the end of this just out of sheer curiosity to how truly low and bad this thing can really go.
The Screaming Silent (2020)
Lead Protagonist Ruins Entire Movie
Hello all in movie watcher land once again, here we go with another review explaining why a movie that had some potential possibly was ruined by one, sad, pathetic, weak link.
So brief touch on the plot, the lead guy, "Kurt" has this family history arc that's pretty scandalous and he thinks it's interesting enough to be a movie. So he turns it into a screenplay and drops out of college and uses what's left of his college tuition money and whatnot to venture out to make his Opus. Did I mention he did all this for a girl? An actress that he met once at a party, got creepily, stalkery, infatuated with and attached to and he admits multiple times, even to her face! That he did this all for her.
Oh, did I mention she's an Aussie and he's flown half way around the world to track her down in Australia and get her to do his movie as it's lead opposite of him? Yeah there's that too.
Seriously folks, this guy acts, does, and says the most annoying and creepiest things throughout the course of this movie and I'm only 25 mins into it! THAT'S how much this chump has ruined this movie and annoyed me in it! 25 mins and he's just completely ruined and turned into a big smelly pile of 💩.
On top of that, the way he looks, talks, and his voice sounds makes you just wanna reach through the TV and just punch his face to pulp. Once you realize you can't go that you almost pick your boot up to chunk that at your TV and him on it.
This guy, yeah I don't even care enough to learn his actual name, he's "Kurt" in the movie, needs to never be in another movie...EVER! Even his body is weird and creepy. He has this hunch in his upper back already and the guys like in his 20's! And his arms are like eerily long and skinny so add that the hunch back and creepy face that you just wanna immediately punch upon laying eyes on it then listen to him talk and you've got a recipe for disaster and a movie with a little potential completely ruined.
Just skip this one folks, do yourself and your ears, and your eyes a favor and skip it. Until next time...ciao.
Boston Strangler (2023)
Another Period Movie Poorly Portrayed With Today's Current Social Outlook Ruining Everything
So, I'll start off by saying I'm a pretty big fan of true crime, but I'm not your run of the mill internet sleuth/keyboard detective. While yes I do use these tools, I was at one point pursuing a career in Crime Scene Investigation and Forensics. In fact, I've gone to school for it and before medical issues cut me short of 2 associates degrees in forensic science, I was only a few classes shy of obtaining these degrees. So I actually have real world training in Forensics and Criminology. My main interest has always been serial killers. What makes them tic? What allows them to cross lines most of us would never dare and will never cross? I had also intended to get a degree in psychology because well I really wanted to be a Profiler, or a Detective, or a crime scene reconstruction expert, or all the above!
So, when movies like this come out I usually tend to jump to them and watch them as soon as I come across them. Now that all of that is out of the way, this movie is a horrible and I mean horrible interpretation of the era of time this takes place in, and a many of other things. I can't harp on the acting or the budget or any of that cause it's all good. Where my problem lies is HOW the characters act.
Clearly whoever wrote and or directed this movie has NO idea of how things were in the 1960s and how the social climate was and definitely not how people acted or carried themselves during that time period. Well, they THINK they know because they have their current social view and outlook on everything goggles on and they are thick.
When I was a teenager and was taking driver's Ed. They had these special "drunk goggles" and they made you wear them then attempt to get into the car and start it, even had you do some of the DUI test police make you do on a traffic stop. Needless to say none of these tasks could be performed wearing these things they were that blurred and muddled, but that was the point, to show you why not to drive under the influence of anything mind altering. I think those goggles are pretty close to to what whoever made this movie was wearing at the time of making it.
I'm sure everyone has seen the movie "A Christmas Story" THAT is a correct interpretation and presentation of how things were and how people acted and viewed things in the 60's. Another great example of life in the 60's CORRECTLY portrayed is the TV show "The Wonder Years". Again, picture perfect of suburban life in the 60's and how MEN and WOMEN truly acted and carried themselves in that era of time.
This movie on the other hand is how men and women act TODAY and just plopped into a 60's timeline because well we said it was the 60's on the screen. Women did not act like or talk towards men the way the two leading ladies do in this movie. As well as men did not act like the lead lady character's husband did. Well guess what folks, when you make a movie that is taking place in a different generation, time, and social outlook but your actors are acting like they were just plopped into it from the 2020's well that kinda makes it really hard to get into the movie or even believe that it's really taking place in the time that you're trying to portray it in. And when you can't get into the movie cause of misrepresentations like that or even believe it, and you find yourself constantly saying, "what? That's not how women acted or carried themselves let alone talked to people like that in the 60's" you just lose all interest and connection with the movie, then you find yourself not enjoying the movie whatsoever due to its pitiful portrayal of the era its "supposedly" representing and then you find yourself on IDMB writing a 2* review...pretty similar to...or well actually just like this one.
So if you're young and you just don't know any better about how our cultures and social views were in different generations and different times in history, then you'll probably enjoy this movie due to naivety and sheer ignorance. However, if you're a little older like I am and ARE aware of things like this, well this is gonna be a tough watch and it'll eventually start to get under your skin so you may just wanna skip it all together.
While We Sleep (2021)
Man I Wish We Could Reply To Reviews On Here
Wow...@thorr-3. Grow up... When you "were growing up in Belimia?" First off, that's an eating disorder, not a place. Second, not cool joking about eating disorders.
Ok about this actual movie. It has/had some potential, sadly though I can't remember the last time I watched a movie with such gaping, glaring plot holes in it. I mean these are really bad and at the end of the movie you just have an absurd amount of questions because of these plot holes.
So, terrible writing is the first big strike. So, yeah, towards the end of the movie, yep the end of it, you find out the "dad" isn't the real dad of the girl being possessed, it's some dude named Alexander. Who's Alexander you ask? Great question, let me know when you find out the answer cause I sure as heck don't know and the movie doesn't tell you! Yet this guy plays a HUGE intricate part in the storyline! Not only is he the girls real dad, he's dead, and he apparently battled this demon and destroyed his body according to the demon, and the demon is going after the girl as vengeance against Alexander! Yep! The dead guy who we know nothing about and learn nothing about but his name when it's bomb dropped on us TOWARDS THE END OF THE MOVIE!
Next we have this priest who you get a quick background but he's in the forefront image of in the beginning of the movie and you don't even realize the two points connect until that's right, towards the end of the movie again! Yeah he just pops in like Superman to save the day. You learn nothing about him but he sure as hell knows all about Alexander and who he is. Does he share any of that info with us? Nope. Thanks Father... Yeah and he just dies, apparently it was the only way to vex the demon entirely. Yep, in fact he's the only person to die in the whole movie! A guy that just pops in towards the end that we learn nothing about and have zero time to make any kind of connection to so yeah his death is just blah.
Next issue, movie takes place in the Ukraine apparently and while the majority of it is in English, I know right? Kinda weird, there are multiple parts where they just bust out talking Ukrainian and do we get any of it translated? NOPE! Just get to sit there wondering what the heck they just said to watch other. Oh and apparently the mom is Ukrainian ancestry, dad is 100% American and everyone is Ukrainian and speaks with a heavy heavy accent. Oh and the kid is American born but they moved to Ukraine cause it's such a step up apparently for the family.
Last, the actors did well, the movie was shot well and looks good, not cheap or anything like that, but that's nowhere near enough to even salvage this movie with those horrible plot holes and just terrible lazy writing. This movie is just an all around stinker and can definitely and deservingly be missed.
Corbin Nash (2018)
Blade/Punisher Ripoff...
And that's being disrespectful to the Blade and Punisher Franchises.
I mean Corey Feldman is in this and it is still terrible, and so is he btw. If I had to hear him say, "tell me I'm beautiful" one more time, I was gonna lose it.
The main guy, you know the one who the movie is named after? Is a joke. One, he just gets annihilated through the entire first half of the movie. He has to get changed into what he hates and is hunting, ehem Blade ripoff, before he can even put up a fight.
Oh and let me tell you how cool this guy is...has his last name tattooed across his chest... yeah so tough.
The actors, except a few, even credited ones all act over the top, especially the guy playing Nash. He's so over the top you just wanna laugh at the whole time. He is not a good cast for a BA tough guy. It's really kinda sad.
My suggestion, skip it. If you need a filling for a vampire vigilante go watch Blade, better story, better movie, better acting. Or say just need some vigilante minus the vamp, go watch Punisher. Still, better story, better acting, better movie. Let's be honest, unfortunately neither of the Punisher movies fared well, first one, great cast as the Punisher, just always liked Thomas Jane in the roll for some reason, terrible script. War Zone, amazing movie and script, didn't care for who they cast as the Punisher, see I don't even know his name. I'd still gladly watch either of those movies over this one. So there you have it.
Altered Hours (2016)
Interesting Script...Terrible Cast
So, here we are, yet again, another review of a movie that could've not been made and the world wouldn't have skipped a beat.
The story is interesting enough and the movie is shot well for the most part.
Where it all falls apart and just swirls down the drain like a treatment of drano is the cast. That's right, all the actors and actresses, and I use those words very lightly, is just awful. Not one of them, well there's one, but none of the rest have any redeeming qualities and they all get very annoying and on your nerves at some point. Now, I said there was one, the cooky professor scientist. He's actually got redeeming qualities and plays his part well. The rest of them? Well there's probably a pretty good reason you have never heard of them or seen them in anything else.
I'd say skip it, there's better stuff out there, but if you're having a hard time finding something, you could fall on this one smh give it a watch. There's worse things you could watch or be doing.
Slasher Party (2019)
Yep, Lives Up to Its Bad Reviews
The only pro I could possibly see for this movie is getting to watch type cast characters of the most annoying people in the world currently. Online social media sociopaths, vloggers, wanna be rappers, "influencers" you get my drift.
The entire cast consists of all the putrid, talentless hack job garbage that social media has produced over the last 2 decades. You instantly want every character dead as soon as they open their mouths and sadly, they don't die quick enough.
Just a terrible movie, the story, setting, actors, characters, all of it. The females are very easy on the eyes but their personalities instantly ruin that.
If today's youth and anything and everything that revolves around them and what they do, say, and how they talk drives you crazy, you definitely do not want to watch this movie. Even if it doesn't, you definitely don't want to watch this movie. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Low Rating Because of "Micah"
So, I decided to for doody's and giggles to watch the Paranormal Activity Series from top to bottom start to finish. All I can say is wow, I do not remember the lead "male" Micah (meekah), what a stupid and idiotic name btw, which it just do happens to be this losers real name.
Anywho, I do not remember this beep beep beep, calm down that was just my R2D2 impression, I don't remember this sorry excuse of a "man" being such a psychopathic, pompous, arrogant, ignorant, egotistical, sociopathic, pile of dung in this movie when I first watched it. I wanted to punch this guy so many times, pretty much every time he said something to be honest. His smug face didn't help much either, thank God it was behind the camera most of the movie.
This guy seriously ruins and destroys the potential, uh I can't think of the word, when things retain how good or great they are over time or even get better with time. Yeah there's movies that are just as good/great today as they were when they first came out. This movie could've had that, but not with this guy at the helm. He is a guaranteed replica voyage and outcome of the titanic for this movie.
I don't know if I just missed it when I originally watched this movie or if I just had a different mind frame at the time or what. However watching now 15 years later, this guy just puts the stinky, rotten, putrid, stank all over this movie and ruins any longevity greatness this movie could've attained.
Go find another line of work "Micah"
3 Hours Till Dead (2016)
3 Hours I Wish I Could Rewind & Choose To Not Watch This
Man, this movie is stinking awful I wrote this before finishing it because it was annoying me so much.
Acting- terrible
Story- terrible
Set- OK I guess, can't hate on it too much since it's ripped straight off from Night of the Living Dead
The "Lead" if you wanna call him that is the absolute worst. He can't even talk, he mumbles smh when he does try to talk it sounds like his mouth is full of peanut butter. Have you ever kicked your lower jaw out then tried to talk? You know like making fun of Marlon Brando in the Godfather? Yeah that's this guy only ten times worse.
Not to mention he's a worthless turd. He let's 2 of his friends become human beef jerky and what's worse is the first one he did it to be was trying to save him! Nope, this guy froze up and let his buddy get chomped on, only then does he snap out of it and kill the zombie eating his friend. His friend was pathetic too, he got bit on the shoulder and then somehow couldn't walk after that? The first loser guy is trying to crutch walk him back to the house and this guy can't even manage to barely stay on his feet. Dude, you got bit in the shoulder, what's that got to do with your ability to walk? See the stupidity?
Then they take a tumble and loser number 1 just ends up leaving him there as a group of zombies come rushing at them to let them finish what they started on this guy who was only out there trying to save him to begin with. Picked a crummy friend to try and save.
Then he runs to a car and gets in and a horde of them surround and trap him in it. But don't worry, after awhile and nothing has changed he decides he can just open the door and push them off and get away scott free and squeaky clean. Yep, it's really that bad and stupid.
Then he gets back in the house and calls for one of the girls in the group as he let's a ton of zombies in the house and practically leads them all right to her then just he side tracks her and let's the horde of zombies that he let in the house chomp away on her! That's friend number 2 for those keeping count that he just let the zombies have at em. Yeah real great lead guy.
The movies awful, the acting and actors are more awful and the story line is the worst. Skip it you'll be doing yourself a favor.
Alone (2020)
Time For A History Lesson and Fact Correcting
Ok, so I'm seeing A LOT of "crappy American remake of Korean film" in the reviews. This, is not true at all! FALSE!
So, time for the true explanation. A guy named Matt Naylor wrote a script called, you guessed it, "Alone" in 2019. I'm sure you can figure out what it's about.
Now, Matt hooked up with Cho Il-hyung and together they wrote a screenplay which then became the Korean movie known as "Alive" that Cho also directed. This movie came out first, so naturally people saw it first. It was released in South Korea on June 24th 2020. It was then released globally on Netflix on September 8th, 2020.
Now, the movie that this review is actually for, "Alone" Matt Naylor had no further connection with past writing the original script in 2019 with the same title. This movie, "Alone" was released on October 16th, 2020.
Now, knowing all this information, one could conclude that these movies were made almost at the same time. Especially both being released so close in time to when Matt Naylor originally wrote the script that influenced and led to these two movies being made.
THEREFORE, this cannot and is not a crappy American remake as so many people have decided to label this. What it is however, is a script that led to two similar yet different movies being made in two separate countries at almost if not the exact same time amazingly enough.
From other reviews and feedback, it world appear that the first one out, the South Korean version "Alive" has fared better in the response and review department. You could to some degree kind of expect this since the guy who wrote the original script, Matt Naylor also co-wrote the screenplay with the director Cho Il-hyung. Usually, when creators of art in any form are allowed to continue to work with their creation as it moves along whatever process it's going to go through to reach it's final stage, the final product tends to turn out better overall.
As for this movie, "Alone" the lead, is just awful. Not so much his acting, just the character he's portraying in general. He's what we tend to call a "manchild." For those unaware of this term, it's pretty much a grown man that acts like a child and almost sadly can't fend for himself. In the beginning of this movie, this guy goes in his bathroom to find a note and check taped to his mirror from his mommy and daddy for his rent.
The first 30 minutes of this movie are him freaking out and crying for his mommy and his daddy cause well, the zombie apocalypse has hit the fan, and his doodoo has hit his britches. Of course he can't get through cause the cell lines are all down. Like a week later, there's a quick screen shot of his phone with a post it that says and I quote, "keep trying." Yep, he had to put a post-it note in the cover of his cell phone case to remind himself to "keep trying" to reach his mommy and his daddy. Pathetic. Oh, he also unplugged his refrigerator and moved it in front of his door as a blockade. While refrigerators can be blockades, you just ruined all of your refrigerated and frozen food manchild! How could anyone connect with a sad, sniveling worthless character like this. It's not like you have a choice to pick anyone else, hello the movie is called "Alone" so yeah, you're completely stuck with this guy.
Then right before he decides he can't take it, being alone, anymore. Not that he was out of food or aqua, he just couldn't handle the solitude anymore, he decides to end it. Right before this, he sees a girl across the alley way a floor lower and the next building over. So now the manchild goes into full creeper mode and decides he wants to live so he can try and talk with this girl. He does open communication with her, I'm not gonna go into more of his creepy stalker manners on how he does this, you can watch it and find out, I'll say this, it's bad enough she even calls him out on it, being a creeper that is.
Lastly, this actor, Tyler Posey, who apparently has been in other stuff, nothing I've seen, is really hard on the eyes. He's got some jacked up misaligned jaw and it's not just slightly noticeable like Paris Hilton's lazy eye, that's a joke, her lazy eye is extremely noticeable, it's really noticeable in fact, it's almost all you can look at and focus on anytime his face is on camera. It's really very weird and distracting. I mean his chin is even crooked. You would think with a movie a like this where you have one solo guy being the main focal point and focus for a good majority of the film, you'd want someone easy on the eyes and hell with at a minimum a straight face!
That's it, I'm done, stick the meat thermometer in me and watch it go up to 145° F. Some may like this movie, from the reviews I'm thinking not many. Check it out if you really want to, I suggest skipping it and the headache that comes with watching it.
The Thing Inside Us (2021)
Paranormal Activity Rip Off Fail
I've never seen such boring actors in my life. Expressionless to the nth degree. Whether it's a calm scene, dramatic scene, arguing, doesn't matter they just deliver their monotone lines like robots. The girl cuts herself and barely reacts to it. The guy loses track of her one night and his words are what you say in that situation but his Expression was non existent. Just do yourself a favor and skip this or take it to an acting class and use it as a what not to do teaching tool.
Bad story, bad acting, bad script, bad movie, bad decision to watch this. DON'T WATCH THIS!
The Orchard (2020)
Oh My What Deceptive Trailer
So, the reviews are all over the place on this one but mainly running down the lower end of the middle. I don't even think this garbage deserves that. Let me put it this way, I'm only 18 mins into this movie and I'm writing this review cause I've made my mind up that it's not gonna get better from here and well sadly, it can't go any lower.
It's a real shame too cause I like Thomas Jane, in fact he's what drew me to the movie in the first place. However, when you have a 33 year old woman playing what I'm guessing is supposed to be a 17-18 year old oldest of 3 sisters, and by the way, she looks every day of 33 and maybe even then some. If anything, she looks like the mom's younger sister, not first born daughter. So yeah, 33 year old woman playing 17-18 character who is CONSTANTLY whining about wanting to be treated like an adult... lady you are and look 33!
Next, the terrible acting dad, he wears glasses with NO LENSES IN THEM! And he's weird! And him and the 33 year old daughter I mean eldest daughter act and communicate weird with each other.
Movie could've been something half way descent but between terrible casting, acting, and lackluster projection, well skip this one and don't get robbed if ten rental money like I did.
Now to figure out who to talk to about getting my money back...