Idiot-Deluxe

Now here's a nasty little title that's managed to elude my notice for the past 30 years, having only been familiar with it for a short time I can say upon first impression that "Blood Games" is entertaining enough for the most part, but yet at the same time, owing much to the fact that it's a B movie, it's also quite inconsistent. I found this to be VERY much the type of movie the late great Andy Sidaris would have put together, had he ever gone in a more "Hard R" direction as the similarities between his films and this are obvious and undeniable. But unfortunately Blood Games falls a bit short of the mark and doesn't have anywhere near the charm and likeability factor that the Sidaris films have; nor is there as much nudity, plus the Sidaris films simply had hotter chicks, who were typically cast straight from the pages of Playboy (and Penthouse) magazine.

I found the main thing that Blood Games excels at (it's main thrust so to speak) is how quickly and strongly the movie builds up it's air of vindictive hostility and violence that looms over "Babe & the Ball Girls". Who must endure the very real and ever-present threat of rape and murder (by the hands of vengeful alcoholic mountain yokels), a terrible fate hangs over these lovely ladies and the tension is often so thick you can cut it with a knife. Fortunately for them most of the rapin' and murderin' hillbillies aren't competent, incontinent likely yes, but competent no not so much and their often more of a threat to themselves then they are their quarry. Perhaps if they'd put down their brewskies for just a minute or two, they would have had more luck hunting down, raping and murdering people with lethal weapons and live ammunition. Just a thought.

If there's a technical aspect that comes to mind that works against the film it would be sound issues. In several scenes the dialog is hard to make out and is very low in volume, it's sounds like the boom mike wasn't close enough. On the plus side the films location photography is strikingly beautiful with mountainous terrain, pine trees and a waterfall. I found that many of the films most action-packed moments were surprisingly well staged and there impact was further enhanced by some notably slick film editing; definitely of a higher caliber than one would expect from such a movie. On a side-note, I can't stop thinking how awesome a scene involving a bear trap would have been. Lastly, whoever composed this films music was very obviously using Jerry Goldsmith's score for First Blood as a blueprint, yep, almost to the point of plagiarism at times.

Ultimately if you like sleazy, violent, trashy, cinema than Blood Games, while no masterpiece, is certainly a fun way to spend and hour and a half of your time on a Sunday afternoon. Also a bit of advise and that is to have cold beer and pork rinds at the ready, because for this type of trash they'll make the perfect companion I promise you.

Conclusion: Blood Games is a very ugly and mean-spirited jaunt through the woods fully living up to it's grim title and the level of misogyny on display here is off-the-charts; and, of course, scores additional points for it's high T & A factor.

Goldraiders is the epitome of a mixed bag and is entirely prototypical for the era - to point of being textbook. It's quality (or lack of it) is simply all over the place, in some scenes it's intensely entertaining, whereas in others it completely falls flat. Starring the dependable B-lister Robert Ginty and a supporting cast of even lesser known actors (for some this is their sole acting credit) join his ranks and form an "elite crack commando unit" and seek to recover lost gold in jungles of Thailand. Though I find this movie to be quite inconsistent as a whole, but don't worry because there's plenty of fun to be had.

Some of the movies strong suits are as follows:

1: Thee awesomely villainous and over-the-top general with the mustache (something all proper movie villains should have) and his remarkably evil gravelly voice, which is used to great effect as he delivers most of the movies best lines. 2: The shoot-em-up scenes are well done, but not award winning, replete with airborne knives and even some hatchets and are complemented by some good old blood-packs - and not that crap, that computer-generated-red-paint-stuff that's added in post, typically used in modern movies. 3: The dialog, oh the dialog... The dialog for this film is so badly written AND delivered, well...it will have you chuckling away, I know I did. 4: Sarah Langenfeld (never heard of her either) was quite a nice piece, she has a wet t-shirt/semi-nude scene which comes roaring into view in the middle of the movie and is one of the most abrupt scene transitions you'll ever see, with jarring suddeness and zero subtlety - TERRIBLE EDITING! 5: Solid underwater SCUBA action scene, not entirely dissimilar to what's seen in 007's Thunderball - just not as good. 6: The goofy motorcycle/gyrocopter that's powered, curiously enough, by a "special kind of crystal" that NASA uses to power a "space ship". Whether it's driving or flying that crap-tas-tic contraption will have you in stitches - good stuff. 7: The jungle scenery is refreshing and pleasing to the eye, not a fast food joint or titty bar seen anywhere in this flick, just war machines and bloodshed really.

On the downside there are several boring scenes throughout the film that you'll have to sit through to get to the end, great for bathroom breaks. But for a Robert Ginty movie Goldraiders is a top-of-the-line production and it has, very much, a Cannon Films feel to it and on that note if you're a fan of 80's action films I'd also recommend his "Exterminator" movies. Again, Goldraiders is simply B-List Gold. Period.

First things first, this movie took entirely too long to happen, they obviously should never have waited 29 years -THAT'S 29 YEARS- to make a third movie. Now, in 2020 we have Bill and Ted Face The Music and I'm sad to say the results are lukewarm at best. If you know the first thing about this beloved film series (revisit 1989 for a moment) you'll know that the characters of Bill and Ted hinged upon a certain palpable and irrepressible youthful energy and enthusiasm (and extreme idiocy), which served them well - when they were in their twenties. But know Reeves and Winter are in their mid-50's and in this movie that familiar trademark charm of Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan simply isn't there anymore, only in fleeting glimpses really and even then it's less charming than before. And other than the up-grade in the special effects, which was a given, I don't think this has an edge over the original in any way.

Besides Alex and Keanu's declining energy and charm, the rest of the cast didn't exactly help them out much. Especially the actresses who played their daughters, bad characters with no chemistry between the two of them and the only result is one cringe-worthy scene after another. Sad. The plot is a total cluster**** and at one point there was three pairs of time-travelers happening at the same time, which makes things just too damn busy for events to flow with any sense of coherency or logic - even in a Bill and Ted alternate reality. With regret Face The Music falls on it's face largely due to: bad casting, bad acting and a plot that's all over the place and poorly thought out (surely this isn't the work of the original writers???), there's also an over-reliance on special effects (but what do you expect from a modern movie). I'm sorry but this is movie is cringey and should never have been made at this point in time, Bill and Ted are too old and the magic that once was, is no more. This movie, obviously, should have been made back in the 90's. But it wasn't and now we have....this....but hey at least they tried, right.

Oh and Happy Birthday Keanu Reeves!!! #56