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The Curse (2023)
Final rating Pending
After having watched the Nathan for you' episodes more than once, and having enjoyed the following series The Rehearsal'. You would be mistaken if you expect more of the same going in to this show.
So far it has managed to get a couple of laughs and piqued some curiosity with multiple simultaneous unresolved plotlines keeping the show interesting.
The idea is good and the presentation is so far is unique and professional, I do think much of the other reviews have missed the intention somewhat.
The main question at this point (Ep6-7) involves the pace and the time invested so far. The intentional moody, overshot lingering shots are building tension towards something unseen, potentially supernatural, potentially shocking. If this does not pay off, lots of people will be understandably aggravated.
Too many movies have chosen to end on a 'cliffhanger' because they simply had not written an ending. It is an insult to the viewer.
We will see.
Violent Night (2022)
XMas Box Tick Bingo.
Another disappointment that obviously had enough budget and potential to be a great movie.
To say it was derivative would not really describe the lengths the writers went to precisely fit the requirements of movies in 2022/23.
Before any real comment on the plot and story presentation, Technically it was just fine. Concept is ok, A valiant effort was made to include
Diverse Family
Evil Whites
Weak Men
Girl is 'The Key'
Strong Women
Subverted Expectations (Santa gets drunk!??? Whoa!)
This last point was a theme throughout the movie and was the biggest let down. Some of the scenes were played almost beat for beat from the reference material.
Not just mere echos of 'Roy Rogers'/John Mclaine but entire scenes with dialog and a radio, just legally different enough to not be considered plagiarism.
The many fight scenes have zero emotional weight and with no interest or any stakes in the characters (Including Santa or the girl),
The movie came across as more of an extended SNL parody than a genuine attempt at an entertaining feature.
With all this said, the biggest problem is, this movie does not know who it is for. It is too violent and gory for kids under 15. It is too predictable and soppy (uncomfortably so) for adults.
Maybe if you are exactly the right age, a bit sheltered, and manage to catch this by mistake it could be entertaining, But I could not recommend it.
Psycho Goreman (2020)
Unassuming
An ambitious homage which knows it's limitations and is fully aware of the common revival pitfalls.
A familiar story is is given some new energy in this future classic.
Drawing on too many influences and references to faithfully convey here, the team involved are clearly not only passionate but competent movie makers.
I hope when they go on to bigger things, they retain the focus on a thinking and not 'broad' audience demographic.
Come True (2020)
Weak Old Sauce
Yikes.
Draw your own conclusions.
I will advise, the content gets no stronger than the the first five minutes.
Poorly attempted 'messaging', derivative and unoriginal otherwise.
Probably a delayed release from last year when this type of amateur nonsense was inexplicably critically 'well received' and unanimously rejected amongst movie goers.
The Poison Rose (2019)
Surprisingly Noir Faithful
Depending on how familiar you are with noir movies, you may find some of the scenes a little too 'on the nose'
I was not expecting to find such a valiant effort to entertain within the boundaries of a genre not explored frequently these days and have to commend it.
A worthwhile watch.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Worse than you think
As other viewers have stated, it starts off well.
I got in to about 120 mins, at which point, the movie turns into a mad-lib game from the minds of pre-schoolers.
Utter tripe.
I only wish I could unwatch the first two hours now.
Shame.
The Lie (2018)
Mis-advertised?
It's hard not to notice to negative reviews offsetting this movie.
Well put together, well acted and overall a pretty gripping suspense/thriller.
A couple of scenes deserve the questions about plausibility, but for minor elements that are nit-picks and not deal breakers.
If you were sold this as a horror, I can understand the disappointment.
Otherwise, above average movie. Particularly in 2020.
Darknet (2013)
Seriously?
In the unlikely event you find this whilst looking for horror anthologies, you will be pleasantly surprised.
Despite the occasional budget constraint, this effort punches way above it's weight and I would put it up alongside the best episodes of Tales from the crypt.
I won't do it the disservice of describing any of the many short stories or giving spoilers.
Great writing, and some daring conclusions.
Excellent.
Monsterland (2020)
For deep thinkers.... Aged 12
Yes. The 'real' monster is... dun, dun, duuun.
Half the reviews start with "Ignore the other reviews" followed by generous, yet generic praise, the other half are 1 or 2 star ratings with angry yet very concise criticisms of the show.
It seems some criticism comes with a suggestion that people were 'tricked' into watching the show based on the misleading trailer and synopsis.
For me this was not the case.
I will leave out the obvious political messaging and thinly veiled moralizing throughout each episode, to try and award merit where it is deserved.
Clearly, there was some thought and effort put into the show, the acting, on the whole was pretty great.
Technically, it looks and sounds great too, with attention to visual detail and some common directorial pitfalls cleverly avoided.
On the other hand, glaring 'boomer' mistakes pull the realism out of some of the characters, scenes are overshot with subtle emphasis so squarely 'on-the-nose' it makes your eyes roll.
The theme is clear each time, but the message is often either conflated or obvious enough to not warrant the repeated statement.
As an analogy, this is like hungrily waiting an abnormally long time for the meal to arrive, you discover it looks fine but tastes like detergent and cold, uncooked chicken. Then your niece goes of on a tirade about veganism.
Cheque please.
Brave New World: In the Dirt (2020)
Strong start, instant thinning
A decent start, I was initially slightly worried the writers were about to completely pervert the entire point of the story, with contemporary revisionist ideas and the insistence on class/race struggle.
Which has nothing to do with the terrifying propositions laid out in Huxley's highly entertaining original.
Most of my apprehensions were put aside after episode 2 and I was looking forward to seeing how they flesh out the rest of the world, and how the story would unfold compared to the book or the 90's TV Movie.
Sadly, by episode 5, like so many other open ended series when they become franchised... The plot is suddenly spread so thin, you can see through it.
The majority of the runtime quickly moved into terrible 'CW' style emotional conversations in corridors.
And all the currently unavoidable political insertion begins to take over.
Another great shame.
Even with these insulting shoehorned ideas, these shows need to be given a clear start to finish period so they stop trying to drag a simple story so slowly, they kill the momentum and go wildly off track, yet keep making mediocre episodes that just fizzle and die.
This is the last episode I will be watching.
If you enjoy softly swelling music behind emotional conversations about feelings, maybe you will make it to the end.
The Twilight Zone (2019)
Epic mystery...
Some of life's biggest questions will never be truly answered.
Like:
How did this atrocity get a second season?
When did people just start accepting what is presented as if it has value?
This show is derivative at best, and an insult to the legacy of even the weakest previous Twilight Zone offerings.
Do yourself a favour and track down the originals if you are interested in what this should be aspiring towards.
Yikes!
Foul Play (1978)
Beware the dwarf!
Another trip down VHS memory lane.
This is an under appreciated movie when it comes to top lists.
Poking fun at itself whilst simultaneously paying homage to so many Giallo movies from the previous decade,
Foul Play manages to up the ante with speedy San Francisco car chases, a great cast and a great score.
It is possible that viewers expecting either a side splitting comedy or a mind-bending puzzle of a thriller would be disappointed, this sits somewhere in the middle.
Le foto proibite di una signora per bene (1970)
Works hard to keep you entertained.
The story and setting are entertaining enough without the need for a large double revelation at the end.
Without giving it away, the writer appears to have inserted a twist at the end late into production.
Unfortunately this somewhat undermines and contradicts what was setup earlier in the movie.
La morte ha fatto l'uovo (1968)
Some wine...
Some wine gets better with age.
Some just doesn't.
However, It is still wine. The visual elements are all there, it has a great looking cast and the era in which it was filmed is clearly stamped all over it.
All great things, but for me, not enough to disguise the fact there is little else here to enjoy.
Rather slow with some questionable character setups, a pretentious avant garde soundtrack with matching drawn out title sequence which sets this up for more than it turns out to be on it's own merit.
When stacked up against other Giallo of the time this falls a little short.
The Dustwalker (2019)
Half Way Is OK
Oh dear. After investing 25-30 minutes into this, I made the mistake of following through to the end despite protest from family members.
Awful waste of time.
The Prowler (1981)
Riding the wave
Largely overlooked in slasher film lists of the 80's.
Maybe because it's not quite as polished as Friday the 13th or Halloween etc.
Has some great special effects and is definitely worthy of consideration.
It does suffer some pacing issues
Atlantic City (1980)
Fitting and subtle
This is the second of two Burt Lancaster movies which tell the story of a previously notorious man having aged and disappeared into obscurity in his later life.
(also, check out Tough Guys with Kirk Douglas)
Making the most of a rather less fantastical story arc than gangsters like Al Capone. Having to deal with the reality and often shame of his current life.
In this one last score/adventure for the road type story, the main character Lou, proves himself, scratches an old itch and finally comes to terms with his life after living in the shadows of his rose tinted version of history for so long.
An entertaining send off, which bridges some gaps between the golden age and the modern, both in the story and in cinema.
L'uccello dalle piume di cristallo (1970)
Holds up pretty well.
I came to this a little late in the game. Although I would consider myself rather above 'consumer' as far as cinema goes. I am now a little embarrassed to describe my viewing history as mostly mainstream and am only now discovering what the giallo genre had to offer, long before my favourite slashers were conceived.
My rating may have been lower a few years back but with a more informed critical point of reference I can easily understand the value some people place on this movie.
It's easy to overlook the fact that tropes and cliches were not always that. And often work to discredit the originator of the ideas by the time they become so overused.
In this case I would say it is a very well executed combination of previously misused themes and some thoughtful suspense.
Overall, an enjoyable whodunit thriller, there are a few very illogical character motivations and some rather naive uses of detective 'technology' which don't stand up to even light scrutiny, even in the era it came from.
(Look at these two oscilloscopes, some people have different voices)
But then again I can't stand CSI either.
Worth a watch, even more so now that we are living in the future, far away from bell bottoms, psychedelic wallpaper and tape recorders.
Verotika (2019)
Tough decision.
On the face of it. Verotika appears to achieve exactly what it was going for... There are big breasted, scantily clad porn stars in a dark and bloody setting.
Monsters and gore split into an appealing anthology format.
Unfortunately it misses the mark on almost every level.
Were it not for the final installment, this movie could have made it into the 'so bad, it's good' category. In the end it became just frightfully boring nonsense.
As others pointed out, it has some value as a lesson in what not to do in film making.
The worst part is the way it was put together technically, ticking every cliche amateur box to almost comedic effect. The fact that this seems genuinely unintentional is what might warrant the consolation merits.
With this in mind, the tough choice is a rating. Various schools of thought dictate how you should show your appreciation, but not wanting to go against the flow with a middle rating of 2-4, and as it is undeserving of higher, I think the best accolade Verotika could achieve at this stage is making it onto a 'Worst Rated Movies" list. So I'm giving it a 1. Any higher rating seems a little spiteful as it would relegate it to mediocrity. Where as, it is, in fact, Bad.
Locke & Key (2020)
Terrible.
One and done. Again.
Somebody needs to make a list of these carbon copy trojans so we can avoid them.
You are enticed with a reasonable premise. Within minutes there is soft music and endless repetitive teenage conversation only drama, weak dialogue about feelings and forever love.
Just stop. Please.
Written by a 40yr old who is clearly 'down' with the kids.Knows the lingo 'innit'.
And the Ice cream guy is just so natural. Not even a little bit extremely cringe.
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
Put another Quarter in!
A fun way to revisit the videogame modified version of Jumanji.
Should keep the family amused well enough on a Sunday afternoon but not sure it warranted the massive hype.
All the characters are back with one or two surprises but nothing groundbreaking.
Guns Akimbo (2019)
Suspension Broken
This is a competent and enjoyable action romp.
If you enjoyed Crank 2 or the more recent Hardcore Henry this will be right up your alley.
The Premise is a little overdone at this point, in what feels like the 5th or 6th major movie in only a couple of years to use what I will call... 'Internet Colosseum', whereby, faceless users log in to a website/app to witness terrible acts of violence and stupidity for their dystopian entertainment.
The action and performances are fine, there is little point trying to pick out CGI problems as it all looks pretty convincing nowdays, even on the low budget end.
There are more than enough nods (or easter eggs) to fill out the background and add another level of interest for geeks who like that sort of thing.
Guns Akimbo looses some points however, for falling straight into the culture war pit during the opening sequence.
And I will start this off by clarifying... Samara Weaving is excellent, stands head and shoulders above her peers with non-conforming choices on and off screen.
That being said, why does making her a badass have to be so off the charts cringe when compared to the rest of the 'unlikely' comic book tounge-in-cheek style sequences?
A little subtlety goes much further than blatant invincible whamen slow-mo.
Other than that, well worth a watch, even if it doesn't blow your mind being unpredictable.
Swallow (2019)
Went down badly
In what could have been a very interesting exploration of Pica, the psychological disorder, the writers chose to tack in some arbitrary larger causation ark and it simply did not work.
The performances were great, all around, the visual style and pace aren't the problem either.
Unfortunately the characters are one-dimensional caricatures who are not explored enough to justify the actions of themselves or the lead.
In the end, the curiosity of the main theme is played down to focus on an apparent moral message.
It's great when movies have a message, but when they fake it, it undermines the whole experience.
In this case it appears they had no idea what they were trying to communicate and this leaves you feeling very cheated. More so than if they had simply presented a stylised series of unconnected events.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
It works!
Not an easy challenge to rise to.
As can be seen with the recent re-visit Ridley Scott made to the Alien universe, this can go horribly wrong.
Probably against what seems to be his current opinion, the director maintained the ambiguity around the original movie's lead (Deckard) and also managed to expand on most of the loved themes and imagery of the original.
Although not entirely a flop, the original performed poorly when released but gained a massive cult following which is still growing today.
This growth wasn't enough to Smash any Box office records but it did nothing to destroy the fanbase or disgrace the original (Unlike every other scifi franchise now has)
And I can see this maturing equally as well as the first.
An excellent, cinematic, respectful and enjoyable movie.
Come to Daddy (2019)
Mystery Thriller
Some very odd decisions are made by the characters in this movie.
But not as the more recent convention dictates (to move the plot)
No, the plot is already well established and it's an entertaining time watching things unfold in a quite 'kooky' way.
Strong performances all around (Smiley somehow always makes you nervous) and some fantastical scenes with great looking places.
Don't expect all the epic frills of a blockbuster but this is a great little movie.