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johnnygriner
Reviews
Blackwood Evil (2000)
Can you say rip off?
The makers of this, if you can call it, "film" have no idea how to make a movie they probably figured they can make a quick buck off of the Blair Witch Project but they do such a terrible job at it!! It's 5 people walking around in awful lighting arguing non stop!! It's beyond terrible! I'm embarrassed to admit I watched this piece of, I can't think of a word to write about how bad this is.
The 100 Candles Game (2020)
Really need that cash!!!
This movie was going along pretty well some kinda original short stories till we get midway through an Amy Smart story starts. Funny, I've seen this before. It's actually a really good short story that is well written. Amy Smart pulls off her character perfectly. Then all of a sudden the story ends. What the heck!? Then we get to a story of a woman who is trapped in a coffin. Ooooooh looks scary but the the English speaking movie start speaking Spanish!! Closed captioning doesn't even work (I don't speak Spanish) so we never find out why she's in there. What!!!?? It looked really interesting but sadly I don't know. This is a lazy put together piece of junk I would stay away!!
The Truth Will Out (2020)
4 stars?
I gave it 2 for the comedy relief the movie gave me in the end. I've never made a movie and I know it's hard work. That's why I feel guilty knocking this movie. You can see the effort that they put into making a "horror" film. It just wasn't put together very well. I can't suggest this film if you're a "horror" fan like me. Hence, the comedic ending.
Prey (2022)
Lame!
I was so excited about this movie but the 1st 52 minutes you barely see the predator and he's roaming around killing animals! And the very small bits that we do see him he camouflaged! The movie was to much of the leading lady in the beginning and apparently she's has mutant powers because she fights like the Wolverine!! The last question I have is this orange magical flower that drops your body temperature to a corpse's temperature because that's how she hides from him so she can defeat him! Fight scenes were cool but I was bored to death.
The Andy Baker Tape (2021)
Don't believe the hype!!!
I don't know if the actors asked all their friends to write these awesome reviews about this movie and that why they are all 10's ? This movie is just a boring worse than typical "found footage" piece of garbage! I want my 70 minutes of time back!!
Late Fee (2009)
Wow!!
I know what they were trying to do with this piece of garbage but OMG!! Really!!?? Total incompetence! Bad attempts at comedy, bad acting all around. And the stories were dumb. "Late Fee" tries to make itself like a twisted Twilight Zone movie, but it fell completely flat. All I can say is to stay away! You'll be mad at yourself for watching this stupid movie!!
Brainscan (1994)
Brain"dud"
I'm so confused about all the high ratings for this movie. I mean it's so bad. Edward Furlong is a terrible actor. The people that made this film expected him to carry this film made a mistake. His acting is cringe worthy. The script was good and it had potential but it just fell flat. If I were you I would skip it!
Wishcraft (2002)
Wish - crap!
There are so many things wrong with Wishcraft, so instead of writing a really long review about the terrible story, bad acting, etc.,. I will just suggest that you don't watch this movie because you will probably be upset and upset ant that 90 minutes back!!
Death Trip (2021)
Huh!?
I was digging the vibe the movie was putting out but it fell short for me on multiple levels. It was very confusing as to what was going on and who was who. I doubt that you'd want to read a huge review from some nobody pretending to know what he's talking about because that's what it would be from me. Probably would tell you to not to bother with this film but if your in an adventurous mood and you figure out what this film is about, please let us know what you think went on in "Death Trip"
In a Stranger's House (2018)
Lazy
One of the laziest lost footage movies I've seen. Very poorly done, so poorly done that it has prompted me to write the laziest review ever.
Just stay away and don't waste your time like I've done!
Look Away (2018)
Really look away
That should be a warning on the cover, "Look away for real!"
The acting was good and it's a good story but, OMG!!! It's so boring! In fact that's all I can tell you about this movie is, warning: the movie you are about to watch may cause drowsiness!
Sator (2019)
Horror??
This movie is categorized as "horror" and that's the farthest thing form the truth! It would take a literary genius to describe how boring, uneventful, and just how flaccid it is. There's no horror or suspense or really nothing in it. Some of the cinematography is nice but other then that watch at your own risk.
Angels' Brigade (1979)
Vomit inducing
The "movie" is truly offensive! It's insulting to any stereotype you can think of! Women, men etc.... It's so bad that the poor cast of MST3K had a hard time being funny. If you ever have an opportunity to watch this trash for your own sake DONT!!
Ape vs. Monster (2021)
Distribution is all that matters!
I would 1st like to thank SHOWTIME for using my monthly fees to show such garbage as ape vs monster.
It's a lovely tale about an ape vs a monster but done in the worst way possible. The acting is horrid, the script? Worse. There were so many head scratching moments that I lost count. I feel stupider for watching it. BEWARE!!!!!
The Blazing World (2018)
Really good
This is one of the best shorts I've seen. Great camera work, and editing. The colors were very vivid and imaginative. The music had a 70's sound with a creepy vibe. Story wise was thoughtful and different.
Pig Man (2016)
The Worst
This short was probably the dumbest I've seen. There was no plot no story, it was just a guy in a pig mask killing the boyfriend and kidnapping the girl. End of story. There was maybe a minute of dialogue and it was meaningless. Don't waste your time.
The Djinn (2021)
Great acting
Let me just say that Ezra Dewey can act!! I don't think that there are to many kid actors out there that can carry a whole movie like Ezra does. It also had great directing. I don't know all the technical lingo but I enjoyed the cinematography with the angles and close up's. It's a shame the writing was subpar, very boring but somewhat enjoyable.
Wrong Number (2018)
What the heck?
Wrong Number was good at delivering a creepy vibe but "short" in helping the viewer understand exactly what was happening. If someone else happened to see this please write a review so I can understand it!
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Breaks my heart!!
I was so excited to see Dexter coming back! I ordered showtime just to see it. What a huge waste of money! This was the worst re-boot I've ever seen. The new dexter is lacking the old dexter charm. I was so over Harrison and his drama! Bringing Deb back was just plain dumb. As little as Deb was in it I was still skipping over her scenes. I canceled showtime the following day!
Easy Wheels (1989)
Unwatchable!
I love B movies just as much as the next guy but this movie is awful. It says it's a comedy / action movie but the comedy is a huge stretch! Nothing's worse than an a movie that thinks it's funny! Trust me, it's not! The acting is atrocious, the writing is amateurish. I wish I can get back the hour and a half of my life back that I wasted on this film. Please, don't fall for this movies lies!!
Death Tunnel (2005)
1star is too generous
I love b-movie's as much as the next guy but this isn't even a bad b-movie. This movie actually was frustrating to watch! It contains flashbacks in flashbacks on flashbacks with flashbacks in the first 5 minutes. If this "movie?" had any original ideas I think It might be a little more tolerable. I guess it's easier to take ideas from so truly good horror movie's then to create any of your own. Don't waste your time!!
Sacrifice (2020)
Don't bother!!
This movie sounded intriguing but it was an hour and twenty minutes of dream sequences. No imagination, very boring.
RoboWoman (2019)
WHAT!!??
Beware! This is a poorly shot home movie. Mr. Ferguson needs to update his camera from the 1990's to at least an IPHONE camera. Do yourself a favor if you come across this movie, destroy!!
Efterforskningen (2020)
BORING!!!!
Like watching paint dry!!' All the action in this mini series is the lead character constantly on the phone, (and you never hear the party he's talking to.) Driving around, and and skeet shooting!. I would enjoy the story more if I wasn't always dozing off all the time!!
Ghost Loop (2019)
Loss for words
I Watch any ghost hunting show I can find and this is by far the worst ghost hunting show I've ever seen. This show is more sitcom than paranoia.