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Reviews
Violent Night (2022)
A delightful romp
A delightful romp with one of the best death scenes I have EVER SEEN and I LOVE horror and gore.
Now I just have to write words to use up word count. Because let's face it IMDB not every movie is some deep intellectual discourse on the state of society that requires a deep review.
Some movies are just fun like Violent Night. With a simple plot and nothing much more than that plus some really good violence. So to end the word count I am just going to list actors from the film. David Harbour as Babbo Natale. John Leguizamo as Jimmy the sad little boy who grew up to be a terrorist. Alex Hassell who is oddly hot despite his weird face. VICTORY IS MINE! Dumb word count!
Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets (2023)
One of the scariest documentaries I've ever watched
This is scary! The Handmaids tale but in reality and much more scary.
The "West" (USA & UK) forces focus on the "East" (Central and West Asia) highlighting how religious fundamentalism has no place in the government. What this documentary shows us is that it is in fact a long game of distraction being played out by religious fundamentalists in positions of power in the USA ruling class.
Considering this documentary only touches on one major cult leader and one family, it can't be forgotten there are many more families like the Duggers in the USA infiltrating places religion should play no part in whatsoever.
Religious fundamentalist/terrorist is the same regardless of religion.
Life (2017)
Unfairly overlooked
Why has this film been so overlooked and slept on!? It definitely deserves more oxygen than it got.
Yeah it's not big and flashy, it's no Alien or Prometheus. But the premise is quite novel in the genre of 'alien being discovered in space, gets into ship, humans then fight for their lives to stop it getting back to earth'
I don't understand all the hate, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It had twists and turns I couldn't predict, obviously there were some extremely obvious story arcs.
The gore was mild but quite imaginative. The hand crushing scene, the nod to Alien with the alien getting inside one of the crew, but some scenes were pretty interesting I've not seen them before.
The cast list isn't to be sniffed at either, several big names clearly thought it was worth their time. I enjoyed it a lot.
The Woman King (2022)
Sign me up to the Agojie!
Why the low overall score? The discomfort of learning the history you've been taught has been whitewashed, and sterilised for the comfort of the colonisers. I know this review will get all the thumbs down. Go for it, I will take it as a thumbs up.
By no means is this a documentary. Nobody ever claimed it was an accurate portrayal of real events. "Based on real events" is such a wide arch even if just 0.0001% of the film is true they can claim it. People need to calm down on it not being historically accurate like it's a documentary and just appreciate it as a celebration of Black talent on screen. Sheesh people, everybody has suddenly become a professor of African history.
Viola Davis, what a woman and actress. So much emotion in just a facial expression.
I found this hard to watch. I know our people sold our people. But to see it portrayed like this hurt my soul. But the fact the film portrayed some of the wealth and culture of Africa in the 1800s, not showing Africa as a desolate dust bowl is good to see in a more realistic setting than the fantastical world of Wakanda.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
Save yourself and just read the book
I am so glad I read the book first. This film is a sterile version of the original story. When I saw it was a 15 certificate I knew I would be disappointed.
I had already read the ending of the film was different to that of the book. I figured it can't be THAT different. But the film ending is nauseatingly predictable and Hollywood shiny.
I understand the timing of superfluous posts of the book, such as the first night. The scene when Wen remembers the crickets. But to straight up delete the end. Why bother even make this film if they didn't like half the book!?
The book is visceral. I highly recommend reading the book before watching this, it's rip off hygenic, neatly packaged Hollywood drivel. M Night's ego strikes again!
The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
Nothing like the book
Why swap the ethnicity of the main protagonists!? Is that to make the monster (flesh eating zombie) Black and the angelic (good) teacher white. I.e. Fall into the stereotypical movie tropes.
A real shame the film makers did this. The book doesn't specify the ethnicity of any other character apart from Melanie and Miss J, leaving plenty of room for casting to be a non-diverse or diverse. So why make this swap!?
If I were Gemma Atherton I would have insisted they cast as the book described Miss J. Give a Black actress the role. Leave Melanie a she is, mixed ethnicity. But that would be too much dark skin and people wouldn't watch it. UGH!
The Strays (2023)
Low ratings from a certain demographic
It's guaranteed the low rating are from a certain demographic. Either those who don't understand the premise or people who don't like films centered around people of colour. This is a very old story. The story familiar to the Black community. Passing.
A modern take on people using their ability to pass as white to change their privileges. Although the actress they used probably couldn't pass as white in the real world.
The one thing I find a shame is that the filmmakers felt the need to introduce the darker skinned Black siblings as bad influences. Smoking weed and wrecking hotel rooms. However it does highlight the stereotypes society places on Black people.
The film tells a simple tale.
Blind Ambition (2021)
The pain and the triumph
Such a joy to watch the story of these men. Achieving their actual dreams from such hardship. With the shadow of their troubles hanging over them. To be in France tasting wine while you wife is mugged must be absolutely heart wrenching. So happy they were able to leave that life behind. Such characters, it is amazing to see the amount of support they received. The most amazing thing was it never felt like they were a token team, unless that wasn't captured by the documentary makers, if they purposefully removed anything like that shame on them. It is the reality of Black people when we move into spaces that are predominantly of a single race.
Incision (2020)
Save yourself
Utter rubbish. Everything is terrible. Everyone involved in creating this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Do yourself a favour and go watch paint dry. I'll never get this time back.
The story isn't actually a bad idea. It reeks of The human centipede. Except with a tenth of the budget The human centipede had.
All the acting is terrible. I mean fingernails down a chalk board terrible. It actually caused me physical pain to see it. The casting was actually spot on in terms of formulaic roles played by actors that for the roles perfectly. The script, literally sounds like a 3 year old write it. The kid actor makes you realise that as irritating as they can be, child actors in big movies can ACT act. The camera work was abysmal. Lightning dreadful. Scene framing shocking. I've seen better on a YouTube sketch filmed by someone on their phone. DO BETTER!
Madres (2021)
Factual horror
So this isn't a horror in the sense people who enjoy horror films would consider. The acting is weak and so is the script. HOWEVER the film highlights the horror that humans are willing to inflict upon each other and for that alone it is real horror.
We are the most vile creature walking this planet.
Escape Room (2017)
Don't waste your eyesight
The ending was worse than GOT and LOST combined. Don't waste your eyesight on this.
Relic (2020)
Metaphorical "horror"
If you watch this movie the surface presents itself as a "horror". I use quotes because if it only had this layer it wouldn't be the least bit scary.
HOWEVER this movie has a whole different layer. I saw it as metaphor for the decent into dementia and how it feels for multiple generations of the family as the disease takes hold. Throwing the whole family into a lost decaying yet familiar place. Where the sufferer is trapped inside their crumbling memories, with moments of lucidity where they realise what is happening to them which they desperately try to grasp in to. For them it can be a real life horror, with the add moment of childlike joy, such as the dancing scene.
From the outside the daughter and granddaughter watch this descent but also get pulled into it s they wonder around the decaying "other" house
It's actually pretty poignant, especially if you have ever seem someone descend into dementia. A really unique way to tackle this issue. I'm impressed.
Ex-Free (2015)
Save your brain cells
Horrific. The concept had potential to be hilarious. But they tried to take themselves too seriously. Terrible acting. Terrible script. Terrible muzak. Cheesy, so horrifically cheesy. But not the kind where it's so cheesy it become genius, straight up awful. I actually started to feel nauseous towards the end. Save yourself, your time would be better spent staring blankly into the void.
Kill Switch (2017)
So much missed potential
The premise of this movie is brilliant. So much so I paid actual extra monies to rent it on Amazon prime. I was expecting epic end of the world sci-fi. As in 2012 and Geostorm style.
But the team behind this movie took a brilliant premise that could have been a real mind bender and made a limp straight to stream flop with a weak script and the most annoying POV scenes.
I only watched it all because I paid monies, monies I could have donated to charity. Thankfully I only paid 99p!
Tales from the Loop (2020)
Sci-fi at its finest
Beautiful science fiction interwoven with the complexities of what it is to be human. A quiet masterpiece of a series.
Autopsy (2008)
Brain cell killer
Save yourself. This is badly acted utter garbage. Who even funded this!? How dare Amazon include this in Prime!
I love a good nonsensical gore fest. But this was just too bad. Think the re-animator done really badly.
This killed some of my brain cells!
The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)
0 out of 10
I actually quit this movie less than half way through. I NEVER do that. But that's how bad this movie was. I can't stand Hilary Duff. Really don't waste your time!
The Shivering Truth (2018)
Actual genius
This series is so unhinged and crazy it's genius. It is like watching a vivid pharmaceutical induced dream/nightmare
They're Watching (2016)
So much fun!
NOT A HORROR!!!
The trailer convinced me to watch this movie. So glad I did. It's a real gem. It's silly, does not take itself seriously, and has an entertaining cast of characters. It's definitely mocking the "American film crew in foreign lands found-footage" genre of horror . I was laughing out loud by the end.
Vénus noire (2010)
Utterly heartbreaking true story
Toe-curlingly painful to watch exploitation and dehumanisation of a native South African woman at the start of the 19th century.
A true story that needs to be told and taught.
The Last Black Man in San Francisco (2019)
The impact of gentrification
A beautifully quiet masterpiece. Amazing cinematography, with amazing actors and a smart script. It's not flashy, there is no BS. It's simple and moving. A real little gem.
Locked Up (2017)
I have no words
Everything about this movie is bad. I was expecting martial arts. All I got was bad music, terrible lines, awful acting, the most pathetic lesbian sex scene, and a weak crying girl turning into Rambo in less than 7 days. Actually hilarious.
In Fabric (2018)
Retro arthouse gem
The trailer was enough to make me want to watch this bizarre little gem. It's a brilliant bizarre throwback movie. Full of wonderful oddities. All the low rated reviews are from people who just don't get this type of movie, they want blatant simple flashy movie hollywood. If it isn't made in Hollywood they don't get it.
The cinematography of In Fabric was impressive, elevating this movie. Simple special effects and a soundtrack reminiscent of Berberian sound studio and the work of Dario Argento. Definitely recommendrd to real lovers of film. It was definitely a comedy. Horror is more subjective, it definitely falls in that genre, but I wouldn't class it as a scary horror.
If you rate the paranormal activity franchise as good, do not watch this.
Bitch (2017)
A little gem of a movie
I'm guessing the low ratings are from people who watched the surface of this movie without thinking about its deeper topic. Mental health.
This is billed mostly as a comedy, but given it opens with a suicide attempt it is underpinned by a very serious topic. The fragility of the human psyche and what can happen when it breaks. Not handled very well by the medical professionals within the movie, which pretty much sums up real life.
The transition of the husband from a conceited b*tard to a man who realised he has taken his entire family for granted was unrealistically quick, but given the length of the movie done smoothly with minimal fuss.
Best scene, the husband playing in the dog park.
It was superbly acted, had a simple and effective score.
I thought it was a real gem.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Was this meant to be disturbing?
Watched the "shameless productions" remaster of this film on amazon prime.
I just spent 90 minutes waiting to be disturbed, mortified, horrified, disgusted etc etc.
I give the film it's due on being a strong statement about the state of humanity, and the exploitation and rape of cultures we deem base compared to our own. Especially the arrogance of white man.
However, nothing I saw done to any of the humans was any worse than you see in your average horror film. Rape, and mutilation, unpleasant yes, horrifying and disturbing, not if you're a hardcore horror fan. Burying live babies in mud or throwing them in rivers, happens in reality people.
As for all the people going on about the animal slaughter. How many of you people would say to my face after I said I was vegan "mmmmmmm bacon". Hypocrisy, pure hypocrisy. Kicking the pig before shooting it was not necessary, however much much worse is done to pigs in our modern "civilised" slaughter houses. That pig was lucky it died quickly, without being tortured first.
I was waiting to see a living turtle ripped apart, because that's what you read in reviews. It was dead, and then it was butchered. No different to how other animals are killed and butchered for meat eaters every day. If anything the animals killed in this film were killed more humanely than animals killed in our modern "civilized" abattoirs. So if you're going to get worked up at those scenes and you eat meat, you are a hypocrite.
How many of you would step on and kill a large spider or a snake? A horrific death compared to just being chopped in two or beheaded which is pretty much an instant death. Same with the monkey scene, quick and clean. Especially when compared to cctv of teenagers torturing kittens and pigeons today.
Human suffering in films has no effect on me at all. Animal suffering does. However sometimes you have to look at images through a detached state to understand how messed up mankind is, and to appreciate the level of people's hypocrisy. Anyone who can't do that and loves animals I advice DO NOT watch this film or watch holding the remote ready to fast forward. I was ready to skip, but I didn't see anything that horrific.
The special effects were probably pretty impressive for the time, and given what they had to work with back then the imagination used for some of the effects was impressive. However, how anyone believed people were actually killed making this film I really don't see. Unless I saw some ultra tame mega cut version.
Would I watch it again? No, it was just OK. Worth a watch for sure, but not worth all the hype.