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All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
Judith Barsi is absolutely adorable
While it was never one of my favorites as a kid, I had fond memories of All Dogs Go to Heaven. However, upon watching it with my children recently, I realized it may have more cinematic sins than I remembered. For starters, the plot is fairly disjointed, with the story clumsily jumping from scene to scene. Also, I had forgotten this movie was a musical, which is probably because the songs aren't very memorable. Plus, the voice acting is average at best, with the exception of Judith Barsi, who is absolutely adorable. I still like this movie, but I definitely don't glorify All Dogs Go to Heaven anymore.
The Secret of NIMH (1982)
This movie slightly traumatized me as a kid
I remember being slightly traumatized by The Secret of NIMH when I watched it as a small child and yet I also remember watching it multiple times. There's something special about this movie. First of all, the animation is beautiful and intricate. Secondly, while there are a few humorous moments, this is a truly dramatic story with real suspense and tension. And third, the voice acting is well done and adds to the overall emotion of the film. To be honest, even though it's animated, I don't feel like The Secret of NIMH was made for kids. I'm glad I was able to watch it again from another perspective.
The Singles Ward (2002)
An amusing time capsule of Provo/BYU culture
As a time capsule of Mormon culture in Provo in the early 2000s, The Singles Ward is fantastic. However, even back when I saw this low-budget comedy as a BYU student shortly after it was released, I knew it has its shortcomings. Some jokes land, many don't, and even the best actors in this movie are hamming it up a bit. Also, having just watched it recently at a Latter-Day Saint youth activity, I realized most of the references and cameos are completely lost on the younger generation. Nevertheless, I can't hate on The Singles Ward. I have too many positive associations with this fun, silly movie.
Ghoulies (1984)
I wish I had a time machine...
I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time and tell my younger self that the VHS cover of Ghoulies was more interesting than almost anything that happened in the actual movie. I was fascinated by the image of the green-skinned creature popping out of the toilet back then, but I had no idea that the story was completely nonsensical, the acting was entirely over the top, and the visual effects consisted of hokey-looking puppets and laughable animations. Or maybe, to not mess up the established timeline, I'd just time travel to yesterday and tell myself not to waste my time on Ghoulies.
House on Haunted Hill (1999)
Creepy visuals, but I prefer the 1959 version
I'm a big fan of House on Haunted Hill (1959), so I was interested to see what they'd done with the story 40 years later. As it turns out, they kind of messed things up. House on Haunted Hill (1999) has some creepy visual effects, but this movie fumbled the ball when it came to story, dialogue, and characters. For example, I like Famke Janssen, but I found her to be highly irritating as Evelyn. And I also expected more from Geoffrey Rush as Stephen Price. While I don't think that House on Haunted Hill (1999) was a complete waste of time, I think I'll just stick to watching Vincent Price's version.
Trap (2024)
I walked into Trap feeling skeptical
Watching a new M. Night Shyamalan movie is like spinning a roulette wheel. Thankfully, Trap isn't one of Shyamalan's worst movies, but it's not among his best. Josh Hartnett does a good job with his role, even if the writing and the plot leave something to be desired. I was constantly amazed by how much convenient information every character had to offer. Also, this is obviously a vehicle to promote Saleka Shyamalan's musical career, however they shouldn't have given her so many lines. She's a good singer, but her acting is iffy. I walked into Trap skeptical, and I ended up feeling somewhat satisfied.
Species (1995)
I would classify Species as average
I didn't see Species when it came out in the 90s, and I wasn't expecting much, but this was an entertaining science fiction thriller. Although, I watched the TV version, so I'm pretty sure I missed the reasons why this movie was infamous back in the day. It's pretty dated when it comes to the computer-generated effects, but the practical ones look fine, and the core of the plot is still interesting. Natasha Henstridge did a good job as the fish out of water type, and I thought Forest Whitaker's empath character was the weakest point of the film. I would classify Species as an average horror flick.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Halloween Ends couldn't end soon enough.
Halloween Ends couldn't end soon enough. The writers must have bumped their heads and forgotten everything they did before in this rebooted trilogy, because this movie has a wildly different tone and doesn't seem to follow the story or character arcs they set up in the first two movies. The beginning was actually pretty shocking, but it quickly went downhill after that. I kept wondering when Michael Myers would show up and when he finally did, it was a letdown. Also, whenever they try to wax philosophical, it just comes off as pretentious. Halloween Ends should be thrown into an industrial shredder.
Fire in the Sky (1993)
Terrifying imagery that will stick in your mind
I've never really found alien-themed horror films to be that scary, but there's something about Fire in the Sky that really creeps me out. It could be because I watched this movie as a teen, and it definitely made an impression. However, when I showed it to my kids, I was surprised by how the plot is mostly just a mystery-drama, and it's not until the third act that things get frightening. But those scenes really are unworldly, with terrifying imagery and visual effects that still look believable decades after they were made. It made not be completely factual, but Fire in the Sky sticks in your mind.
Day of the Dead (1985)
The humans chew the scenery more than the zombies
The problem with Day of the Dead is that the actors playing the humans are chewing the scenery more than the actors that are playing the zombies. Every scene is full of overacting, which only accentuates the clumsy dialogue. The pacing also felt very slow, and it wasn't until the finale that things got interesting. I did like the Bub storyline, though. That was entertaining. And I thought Tom Savini's visual effects were impressive, yet stomach-turning. Sorry, Day of the Dead, but it seems to me that Night of the Living Dead is still the strongest entry in George A. Romero's horror film franchise.
Smile (2022)
Creepy grins and plentiful jump scares
Smile preyed on two of my biggest fears: creepy grins and feeling like you're going crazy. So, between that and their very effective (and plentiful) jump scares, I found this to be a solid scary movie. Sosie Bacon carries this film on her shoulders, and her dramatic performance makes this paranormal plot more believable. Yes, the story is a little derivative from other horror films I enjoy, but it's different enough from them that I can appreciate this one separately. Watching Smile is a heavy experience, so I don't know if I'll be watching this regularly, but it definitely made an impression on me.
Talk to Me (2022)
A very creative premise with horrifying visuals
Don't do drugs, kids. That seems to be the overlying, thinly veiled message of Talk to Me. This movie has a very creative premise, and the visuals are absolutely terrifying. It's impressive how much they were able to do with a limited budget and practical effects. I thought the young actors did a good job, too, even if the characters they were portraying didn't act like normal people would in certain situations. This horror film also may have been a little too gruesome for my tastes. Still, Talk to Me has some good scares and I've been thinking a lot about it ever since I watched it. It's haunting me.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
This franchise gets a little less intense with each film
It's interesting to see another side to the events of the two previous movies during A Quiet Place: Day One. Lupita Nyong'o is a great actress, and she gives another powerful performance during this film. Joseph Quinn also brings some heart to this sci-fi thriller and plays a part quite different than his Stranger Things character. However, the Quiet Place franchise has gotten a little less intense with each installment. Additionally, as the overall story progresses, it only brings up more questions. Nevertheless, A Quiet Place: Day One is worth watching and rounds out a solid horror film trilogy.
The Black Cat (1934)
This classic horror film was a bit of a letdown
Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and Edgar Allan Poe, what could go wrong? Well, for starters, I think the entire cast of The Black Cat ate handfuls of Valium before each scene. They wander around like zombies and barely show any emotion, even when crazy things are happening. It also feels really long for a movie that has a runtime of barely over an hour. The pacing is dreadfully slow. Plus, it has nothing to do with Poe's short story. And Dr. Werdegast's extreme fear of cats just comes off as silly. I know a lot of people enjoy this classic horror film, but I was a little let down by The Black Cat.
Children of the Corn (1984)
Corny and dated, but still somehow enjoyable
Putting a child actor at the forefront of a movie is always a risky movie, so it was bold of Children of the Corn to make 90% of their cast under the age of 18. And while some of those young actors, such as Courtney Gains (Malachai), really do a good job with their role, the others are hit and miss, and the bad acting is fairly distracting. Speaking of distractions, the special effects were obviously done on a shoestring budget in the 80s. They're very dated. However, while I had my issues with the cast, the plot, and the visuals, I somehow still enjoyed the experience of watching Children of the Corn.
Barbarian (2022)
A creepy and captivating horror film
I was told to not look up any information about Barbarian so that I could be surprised by it, and boy was I! I won't give any spoilers here, but this movie was wildly different from what I was expecting. Even as I was watching it, I thought the plot was going to go one way, and then it would take a sharp left into a completely different tunnel of terror. I was slightly disappointed by the ending, which feels a little underdeveloped, and there were a few overly indulgent horror movie moments, but overall Barbarian is a creepy, captivating film with impressive performances from each member of the cast.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Too focused on referencing previous movies
Halloween Kills is so focused on referencing and connecting itself to (some of) the previous Halloween movies that it forgets to be its own thing. It's also crammed full of characters, most of whom are just cleaver fodder. I think the writers thought a high body count would make up for the weak story. And the kills are a little too gruesome for my taste. Some were more sad than scary. Also, I get what they were trying to do with the mob mentality plotline, but it felt heavy handed, along with pseudo-philosophical dialogue at the end. It seems Halloween Kills fell prey to the curse of Halloween sequels.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
Strong acting, interesting camera work and visual effects
I'm of two minds when it comes to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. On one hand, I was really impressed by the performance of Fredric March as the protagonist and antagonist. In fact, I looked up the cast on IMDb just to make sure it was the same actor playing both parts. Also, this film has some highly dramatic moments and some semi-shocking parts from a Pre-Code Hollywood era. On the other hand, Mr. Hyde's look is a little goofy, and the transformation scenes, while impressive for the time, seem a little hokey now. It wasn't as scary as I hoped it would be, but Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a well-made movie.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
This Frankenstein adaptation is mostly a misfire
Watching Lisa Frankenstein is like listening to someone play a peppy, yet dark song on a keyboard, but every time you start to enjoy what you're hearing, they play a wrong note and it sours the song. This movie had potential, but it keeps tripping over itself trying to be quirky or edgy. It seems like the filmmakers really wanted to be rated R but couldn't quite make that commitment. It also tries to be so deep with the plot and the dialogue, yet everything feels so shallow. It's a low-budget indie comedy creation that comes off as immature. Lisa Frankenstein is, not shockingly, mostly a misfire.
Victor Frankenstein (2015)
A mildly interesting experiment with good production design
Victor Frankenstein is a mildly interesting experiment. It tells the story of Frankenstein from the perspective of Igor, played by Daniel Radcliffe. While this is a new way of portraying this familiar tale, it doesn't really go anywhere that hasn't been explored before in other film adaptations. Also, I think Andrew Scott is a talented actor, but the inspector's story felt unnecessary and only padded the runtime. The production design is well done, though. The sets and props are creative and immerse you in the movie. In the end, Victor Frankenstein was better than I expected, but still only average.
I, Frankenstein (2014)
Plods along a cliche-filled path to get to the next action sequence
I skipped I, Frankenstein when it was released in theaters. I had heard it wasn't very good, so I avoided watching it. However, I must say that it's not as bad as some other film adaptations of Frankenstein I've seen. It's still not that good, though. This movie is like a reanimated corpse, lumbering along a pre-determined path of predictable plot points and cliched dialogue in order to get to the next computer-generated action sequence. Aaron Eckhart tries his best to give his brooding character life, and there are some entertaining visual effects, but all that is not enough to save I, Frankenstein.
Frankenstein (2004)
A convoluted, watered-down Se7en wannabe
I probably shouldn't get after Frankenstein (2004) too much, since it was a made-for-TV movie that was supposed to be a pilot for a whole series, but that doesn't change the fact that it's just not good. Even without the unsatisfying cliffhanger ending, this Se7en wannabe still has a convoluted story and weak acting. I like Parker Posey, but this role just didn't feel right for her. And Adam Goldberg's constant wisecracks felt forced. It's also strange because this movie is only 88 minutes long, yet it really seemed to drag at times. I'm not surprised that this Frankenstein series didn't get picked up.
Frankenstein Unbound (1990)
I have so many questions
I'm not quite sure they were thinking when they decided to create Frankenstein Unbound. Yes, it's a Roger Corman flick, so I wasn't expecting much, but it is just so bizarre. Why tell the story of a time traveler from the future seeing the story of Frankenstein unfold? Why have Mary Shelley be the author of Frankenstein in the movie if the events are actually happening? Why did Frankenstein's Monster look like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers? Why did so many recognizable actors sign on to be in this mess? With a story this preposterous, Frankenstein Unbound was doomed to fail from its creation.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
A surreal and beautiful modern fairytale that's a cut above the rest
Edward Scissorhands is a surreal and beautiful film. It's amazing how Tim Burton can present such a bizarre world in a way that seems completely acceptable. And the unique sets, costumes, colors, and characters make the whole viewing experience feel immersive. There's a lot of praise going towards Johnny Depp's portrayal of Edward, as it should, but Dianne Wiest really shines as Peg. She's fantastic as the optimistic maternal figure. In fact, everyone in this strange pastel suburbia enriches the film with their offbeat performances. Edward Scissorhands is a modern fairytale that's a cut above the rest.
The Bride (1985)
A frightfully dull gothic drama
The Bride is not a horror film, it's a gothic drama. If you go in expecting a horror movie, you're going to be disappointed. Well, you might be disappointed either way, because this film is frightfully dull. The actors (especially Sting) all seem to be sleepwalking through the clumsy dialogue and unnecessarily drawn-out plot. And it drops you into the middle of the story, which is a little disorienting. At least this movie looks good. The sets and costumes are impressive. Nevertheless, I was surprised to find out The Bride was released in theaters, because it feels like a made-for-TV BBC period piece.