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danwilberforce
Reviews
The Union (2024)
Predictable Tat
From the outset everything is made incredibly obvious. The second I saw Mike Colter "die" near the start of the film, I said, "he's the bad guy". Then low and behold an hour later, ohhh, look who's back from the dead, what a coincidence.
This film has very little going for it, from the incredibly predictable script, to the bland 1 dimensional characters and the almost complete lack of chemistry between the cast.
The relationship between the two leads just feels friendly, but we're meant to believe that there's a romantic spark of some sort between them, sorry, but I just didn't find them at all convincing as a romantic interest.
The one character I really enjoyed in the film was Alice Lee's Athena Kim. Her comic timing was excellent and I felt she had the best rapport with Wahlberg. But then she was uncerimoniously killed off screen, oh well.
Honestly Netflix keep making this sort of dross and we keep signing up for it for some reason. Next time I'll try to make better choices.
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024)
Lathargic Snorefest
I rewatched the original movies (yes even the 3rd one) in preparation for this and all that it did was accentuate just how old and tired everyone is now.
The thing that made the originals (well, the first two at least) so good, was that they struck the perfect balance between action and comedy, that and the great chemistry between the cast. Unfortunately whilst the film had some decent action points, it was considerably lacking in the comedy department. Instead of being a fun, quick witted, action romp with our 3 favourite cops, 2 of the said cops were sidelined for the majority of the movie (understandably in Taggart's case as the actor is now in his late 70s) and Eddie's performance was so laid back it felt like he'd just got out of bed most of the time.
The story itself was also just a rehash of a hundred other films that we've all seen done before and better. Whether it's the bent cop, or the estranged daughter caused by the father's inability to prioritise his family over his job, we've been here, there was nothing new here.
Honestly the film wasn't horrific by any means, Eddie did show moments of his quick witted former self and it was nice to see them all back together again (minus Ronny Cox), but unfortunately I feel as though they waited 10-15 years too long to make this one happen and the film suffered greatly for it.
The Acolyte: Destiny (2024)
What was that?
Please don't tell me that Mae's motivation for being the "villain" is that SHE started a fire that killed her entire family (somehow), because SHE was being a selfish brat?
I really hope there's more to it than that, like the Jedi used the fire as an opportunity to kill everyone, or something, otherwise this is abismal story telling.
Whilst I wasn't overly enamoured with the first two episodes, I did find them enjoyable enough, if a little bit CW in the writing. This episode, however, was so drawn out and boring with next to no character development beyond the initial premise of Mae wants to stay and her sister wants to leave.
I really hope this show gets better, but at the moment this is sitting on a par with the woefully bad Boba Fett series for me. All it needs now is the mod squad on their Power Ranger bikes and we're there.
Echo (2023)
Why?
The trailers made this seem like the first step into more gritty, adult content ala Netflix's Daredevil and Punisher series, but apart from 1 or 2 overally choreographed scenes it felt more like the worst episode of Iron Fist stretched into 5 episodes.
The concept itself isn't bad, but the writing was atrocious, with no real sense of character development or depth whatsoever. The only real standout being Vincent D'Onofrio's excellent portrayal of Kingpin, but even that is tarnished by the writing and a limp wiltering flower of an ending.
Echo also suffered from bad editing with the pacing and storyline feeling like they were all over the place.
The show had so much promise and I did appreciate the efforts made to honour the native American and deaf communities, but it didn't have to be at the expense of a coherent and gripping story.
I now fear what they're going to do with Daredevil, but hopefully with Dario Scardapane in the driver's seat there may be at least a small glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe...
The Equalizer 3 (2023)
An empty, but entertaining film.
If it wasn't for Denzel, this would've been just another C rate action flick. He carried the entire film, but he had to, as the script was so void of any character development or depth.
So many character arcs started but never went anywhere. The young waitress, the local police officer, the doctor, all promising characters that we are introduced to, but their stories are left untold.
The worst case of this though, has to be that of Dakota Fanning's CIA agent and her colleague. They are introduced into the film in a way that suggests they will be important in helping McCall's character investigate and bring down this Italian mafia, but instead they provide absolutely nothing to the investigation (or story for that matter). Instead they are spoon-fed everything by McCall. If their characters were removed from the movie entirely, the film would have had exactly the same outcome and in fact, it would have probably been a lot better for it.
The "bad guys", were also entirely generic, no motivation beyond greed / power with zero depth to their personalities, just a typical cookie cutter drug kingpin and his minions.
Denzel is effortlessly cool, as always and the choreography of the fight scenes is excellent, which make the movie interesting enough to keep you entertained, but unfortunately the film as a whole is very forgettable and generic.
Retribution (2023)
I feel dumber for having seen this movie.
I went into this film not expecting much. From the trailers it looked like a poor man's Speed, little did u realise just how poor and destitute that man would be.
As others have said, the film is devoid of all logic.
Spoilers ahead:
The most ridiculous part of this film has to be the police woman not believing Liam Neeson's character when he says there's a pressure sensored bomb under his seat. A) Why would he lie about this and b) why wouldn't she believe him when there's been 3 other bombings in the city already!
Her character had me wanting to reach through the screen and shake the stupid out of her.
Also why when he went through the tunnel did he not stop as soon as he saw the phone reception was gone?
Liam Neeson really needs to go back to acting in more dramatic affair instead of this 3rd rate "action" thriller tripe he's been subjecting us to for the last decade or so.
Do yourself a favour and skip this one.
The Flash (2023)
I prefer the Eric Stoltz version
Honestly, I wasn't expecting much going into this, but (accusations aside) I didn't mind Ezra Miller in the Justice League movies, so I had hopes it would at least be entertaining. Instead I found myself bored after 30 minutes of the movie, leaving another 2 hours of mind numbingly boring nothingness left to watch.
The film's one saving grace, was seeing Michael Keaton don the batsuit one last(?) time accompanied by Danny Elfman's classic Batman theme, but even this was not enough to save the film.
The pacing was all over the place, the character development (especially of Supergirl) was practically non-existent and most importantly, Ezra Miller was just not up to the task leaning more towards annoying than anything else. The only moments of any real emotion, were those featuring Barry's mum and soley because of her ability as an actor alone.
The film was also massively hindered by the subpar CGI, which was so jarring it took you right out of the movie (Christopher Reeve deserved better). It was like Superman's moustache, but everywhere!!
I don't hold out much hope for the new DCU if James Gunn thinks this film is soooo amazing that not only does he praise it at every opportunity, but he then hires the film's, clearly out of his depth, director to helm the first Batman movie of his new superhero world. I just hope to God they manage to surprise me with something truly entertaining, but at this point it may be too late in the game for anyone to care about yet another superhero movie.
Polite Society (2023)
Edgar Wright vs Ms Marvel, the Wish edition
I really struggled with this one. The trailer made it out to be a fun, Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead / Hot Fuzz), with a little genre bending Everything Everywhere All At Once mixed in for good measure style of film, but sadly it didn't come close to either movie, more like a budget Ms. Marvel episode. The last fight scene even felt like a complete rip-off of the wedding fight scene from Ms. Marvel, only with worse choreography and a much smaller budget.
For me the main problem with the film though rested with it's protagonist, or rather the writing of her (Priya Kansara did very well with the role she was given). Not at any point did I find myself rooting for her, or caring about her story arc, instead I just found the character annoying and unlikable.
The film was billed as an action comedy and whilst the action was passable, for what I can imagine was a tightly budgeted British film, I'm sorry to say, the comedy, didn't land for me at all.
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023)
Slick, but hollow spy "thriller".
It's hard to believe this is by the same guy (pun intended) who gave us the incredibly sharp, witty and exciting double hitters of Lock Stock... and Snatch some 20 plus years ago. It felt more like somebody who'd watched those films out of the corner of their eye, whilst playing games on their phone (which I found myself doing after the first half hour), then decided to make their own half arsed version, with none of the intelligence or dialogue to match.
Everyone played their roles as well as they could, but the script and the chemistry just wasn't there. This wasn't even Hobbs & Shaw levels of dumb fun, just a bland, empty film of nothingness.
The cast deserved better (yes, even one note Statham).
Stutz (2022)
The film I needed to see right now, or 15 years ago.
I have struggled immensely with my mental health over the past 12 years and on a lesser scale the other 29 years of my life. I have had countless therapy sessions, more often than not with one of the sit there and listen, but don't contribute therapists Jonah and Phill discuss near the start of the movie and whilst they were great at allowing me to vent, the only therapists that truly made an impact on me, were the ones who would have an actual conversation with me, call me on my issues and help me explore ways I can improve my life.
Stutz is the perfect example of this method of therapy and I am so grateful for this movie and the wisdom it imparts on us.
Whilst the cinematography, editing and pacing of the movie are all great, what makes Stutz truly remarkable is the vulnerability and truthfulness found within Jonah and Phill's relationship. You can really feel the openness, love and respect between these two people, which allows us as the viewer to be honest with our own answers to the questions posited throughout.
I doubt either of them will ever see this comment, but to Jonah and Phill, if you do see this, I just want to say, thank you. I related to so many of the stories and thoughts that you both shared and even found myself crying when responding to some of the questions you asked. I hope that this reaches as many people as possible and that people gain as much from it as I have.
The Rookie: Double Down (2022)
Where did that come from?
Best episode in years! Did they get a new showrunner or something?
This felt more like an episode from the first 2 seasons, plenty of action and witty repartees, with the added bonus of a serial killer on the loose.
From the start of the episode I found myself instantly gripped. Whilst for the most part the story was pretty predictable, it was executed so well it didn't lessen the experience any.
I wasn't really into the idea of the Tim & Lucy coupling storyline that was teased at the end of the last season, but the way they've handled it here and what I can see for the future of their story, is a lot more intriguing now.
A great start to season 5, I just hope the show continues down this road.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Decent, but...
Feels odd to say I "enjoyed" the film per se, rather I found it entertaining.
Right from the offset we're made to feel uneasy, with the eerie, tense music scoring what would otherwise be a beautiful moment, a young family on holiday socialising and laughing with other holiday goers.
The film keeps you on edge throughout, only occasionally hinting that not all is right in the world, first with the hosts overstepping boundaries and then to much murkier depths of depravity.
Everything is very well executed right up to the last 15 minutes. (spoiler incoming) I fail to believe that any parent would just let someone take their child without any sort of a fight, especially when the hosts aren't even carrying any real weapons. When I was a child my mum stood in between myself and a ferocious neighbourhood dog that was chasing me. These people would likely curl over and die if a stiff breeze blew their way.
Overall a decent film, with an unsatisfactory ending.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
What a waste
This film could've been an incredibly powerful, emotional drama with sprinklings of comic relief, but instead what we got was a farcical mess with sprinklings of drama.
Christian Bale's fantastic rendition of Gorr was wildly underused, his character having maybe 5 minutes of exploration at the beginning of the film before being relegated to generic bad guy number 24.
I also felt that Natalie Portman's talents were severely wasted here too.
The few dramatic scenes that did exist were easily the most gripping of the whole film. I especially liked when Gorr had the 3 of them trapped, he was so beautifully maniacal. But these always felt marred by the constant onslaught of "jokes" (seriously, how many yelling goat jokes can you have in one film?).
Overall whilst the film was entertaining I believe Taika didn't manage to get the balance right and unfortunately missed the mark with this one.
I really hoped after the dramatic, but still humorous double hit of Infinity War and Endgame that Marvel would double down and continue on the same path of slightly more serious films with more fleshed out bad guys, but so far that doesn't seem to be the case. Fingers crossed they don't mess up Blade and Daredevil as well.
Samaritan (2022)
Entertaining, but...
Entertaining, but ultimately a very flawed and below average addition to the superhero genre, the likes of which we've seen countless times before.
Stallone is great as the washed up "superhero" with a past and the supporting cast do their best with the material, unfortunately for us though, said material is not up to snuff, with a lacklustre script, thin storyline and one painfully obvious "twist".
The characters are never really explored properly enough for the viewer to give a damn and the dialogue will likely remind you of similarly poor action movies from the 80s & 90s ("have a blast" anyone?).
It's such a shame, as it feels like there's a much better movie hidden away in there under the cheesy, dated writing.
Better luck next time Sly.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Oh dear
2 episodes in and I just can't anymore. The quality level at Marvel (Disney) HQ has dropped so far since Endgame. I loved Loki, thoroughly enjoyed Shang-Chi, Ms Marvel and Hawkeye, but the other films and series have been mid at best.
Then there's this dumpster fire of a show. I LOVED Tatiana Maslany in Orphan Black and was excited to see her enter the MCU, but the script for this show is just so bad. Everything feels rushed and unearned. She becomes a Hulk and instantly has control of everything, loses her job then gets offered a new much better one within 5 minutes. There's no grappling with her new powers, she doesn't feel a sense of responsibility etc. It all just feels a little too easy as though everything is just being handed to her on a plate.
This may actually be the first MCU show that I don't finish and that's saying something given how bad F&TWS was.
The Big Bang Theory: The Property Division Collision (2016)
Why am I reviewing this?
Amusing as per usual, but I'm a picky mofo so have to point out that when Sheldon changes the WiFi password, as the router is Leonard's apartment he could just connect via ethernet and reset everything essentially kicking Sheldon off the WiFi.
OK I feel better now I've got that off my chest. Thanks for reading. 😛
The Orville: Twice in a Lifetime (2022)
Where did that come from?
The show has never been great, but for the most part an entertaining Star Trek knock off. Season 3 has been allllll over the place in terms of quality. This episode, however, was fantastic, great writing, a convincing heartfelt storyline and well acted. I think the episode also benefitted from focusing on one of the better actors in the cast instead of the more wooden ones.
More like this please!
The Orville: Shadow Realms (2022)
If Alien were done with idiots
Krill: Hey don't go into that area, there's demons.
Orville: Ah stupid Krill and their religious mumbo jumbo. Let's go!
Whilst we're at it, let's take all our highest ranking personnel onto this random 'empty' evil looking space station with no space suits / protection whatsoever. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh fiddle sticks, the admiral is turning into some alien creature. Let's leave him in an unquarrantined sick bay, unrestrained and without any guards.
Gosh darn it, sooommmeehow the admiral alien has escaped and is turning everyone into aliens, but don't worry guys, it's only the red coats and random extras that nobody's ever met before this episode, so no real threat.
Let's face it, the show was never going to win any awards for writing or acting, but holy hell this season is bad. Seasons 1 & 2, whilst not amazing, were always entertaining and fun to watch and you cared about the characters. The same, sadly, cannot be said for season 3. Fingers crossed it gets better soon.
The Orville: Electric Sheep (2022)
Such a shame
To come in with this as the first episode of a new season was a mistake for me. The episode felt like it dragged way too much and was just constantly padded by some very beautiful, but unnecessary CGI.
The script also felt clunky and the acting wooden. I hope this isn't a sign of things to come.
The Handmaid's Tale: The Crossing (2021)
This show is void of all logic sometimes.
I won't bother describing all the moments in this episode that are void of logic as others have done so for me, but one I haven't noticed anyone mentioning is the ending.
They are given 1 whole guard to look after public enemy no.1 and her "terrorists".
Then when they have the chance to escape, June chooses not to knock Aunt Lydia out, or better yet kill her, this in turn allows Lydia to raise the alarm killing half the handmaids.
And finally despite June being the last one to start running, she somehow beats all the other handmaids and watches the last 2 get squished by the train.
The first season of this show was fantastic, nuanced, dark and truly intriguing, season 2 continued to be decent, but certainly wasn't quite as good as the first season. Season 3 and what I've seen of season 4 however, are a shadow of the previous seasons, with ridiculous plot holes, lazy writing and some truly bizarre decisions. I can only surmise that much like Game of Thrones, once the source material ran out, the writers struggled to come up with anything nearly as intriguing.
This show should've finished after 3 seasons, but it seems as though it's going to be dragged kicking and screaming to the 5 season finish line.
The Handmaid's Tale: Mary and Martha (2019)
What is happening to this show?
Season 1 was excellent, dark, moody, gripping and well paced. Then season 2 decided to up the pace a bit, which was OK, but a little annoying as some parts of the story felt like they didn't have enough time to develop, making them feel rushed and outcomes feel unearned.
Sadly this seems to have continued into season 3, but even moreso.
This particular episode is ridiculous. June has literally just moved into the house and is all of a sudden not only involved in their underground plans, but when things go awry, she is the one calling the shots. I mean I get that she's the protagonist, but come on, it makes no sense for her character and feels grossly unearned.
I really hope this episode is just a blip and not a sign of things to come.
I will say, however, Emily's story is great and far more intriguing at this point.
X (2022)
Did I miss something?
From the outset I predicted every moment in this film way before it happened. Each death could be seen coming a mile away.
Whilst the acting was good, the script and story just felt very low grade and obvious.
I honestly don't understand the hype on this one.
Loudermilk: When I'm Alone (2020)
I cried like a baby.
Mugsy has completely stolen this season for me, seeing him go through everything with his kids has been equal measures heartwarming and gut wrenching. His breakdown in the group had me sobbing into my cereal this morning. Love his character's arc this season and I LOVE this show. Just great TV. Thank you Farrellys.
Umma (2022)
So close
What happened? The first half of the movie was so solid, interesting story, good acting, beautiful cinematography, great chemistry between the two leads, then the second the daughter came out of the basement and questioned her mother, the dialogue became very clunky and unnatural.
We were then confronted with some very unscary CGI and all the promise the film once held just fizzled away.
There was definitely a much better film in here somewhere. Such a shame.
Turning Red (2022)
Not one of Pixar's best by a long way.
The thing that I think is most loved about Pixar movies, is that there is something for everyone. Even their less popular movies (Brave, Good Dinosaur, the Cars sequels etc) managed to keep everyone entertained, whether they be a young girl, a middle aged man, or a Hobbit from the Shire.
Unfortunately Turning Red failed to do this, instead aiming for a very specific target audience excluding everyone else in the process.
This movie felt to me like a poor man's Teen Wolf, with less Michael J Fox and more bland humour (although I did like the father stealing the sugary treat whilst the wife was distracted), annoying characters and an uninspired, predictable story.
Pixar has handled the trials and tribulations of adolence in far more interesting and endearing ways (Inside Out, Luca, Toy Story 4 etc), but this just felt cheap in comparison, with no sense of depth or feeling, more like a second rate Netflix animation than a movie from one of the greatest animation studios around.
It felt to me as though they maybe could have explored the father's relationship with both the wife and daughter a bit more and how this affected them as a family. Especially as he was part of the reason for the mother's problems with her own mother and inner Panda. Instead his character was sadly left unfulfilled.
What I really found surprising, was that this film came from the same mind that brought us the excellent short, Bao, which had very similar themes, but managed to cram infinitely more heart and meaning into it's short 8 minute runtime, than Turning Red did in almost 2 hours!
Overall I felt that this film was a lost opportunity to take a more nuanced look at (female) adolescence and how it affects those around them and to maybe give a bit more insight into the Asian-Canadian world.