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Reviews
The Sin of Nora Moran (1933)
Worth a watch to experience a revolution in '30's movie-making
The Sin of Nora Moran is a 1933 "talkie" picture. Why it's legendary has more to do with the camera effects used, the movie poster, and the use of flashbacks and talk-overs more than the actual plot of the film itself. That's the hard part to put yourself into in the 21st century. You can imagine all the oohs, and aahs, and confusion & shock of movie-goers in 1933, but after almost 90 years it's hard to feel that way yourself. The movie concerns itself with Nora, and the reason she is on death row awaiting execution. There are double and triple twists aplenty. Probably the most shocking thing in the film that I noticed was an implied rape. I can imagine how controversial this must have been back in the day, if I can tell what the implication was meant to be today. Another impressive feat of the movie is how well the story is told, despite all the time changes that happen during the course of the movie. At 65 minutes it doesn't lag at all, and it also serves to show how well an almost lost film can be brought back to life to breathe again on our small screens at home. Worth a watch to experience a revolution in '30's movie-making.
Possum (2018)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Well? What's in the bag? What's in the book? What's in the room? What's in the box? Eventually these and more questions that you scream in your head do get answered in this disturbing film. A former puppeteer returns to his dilapidated home that his stepfather also lives in. When a local child goes missing, the man is a suspect. The plot of this film is somewhat muddled, and feels like more of a mood piece a lot of the time. A black mood piece. As things begin to unravel for the man, we find out his past, and more. None of these revelations are good. This is quite a depressing film. You will want to watch it once though, because the climax of the film is breathtaking in an almost literal way. There are a few jump scares, but there runs a deep-seated sense of dread throughout the entire movie. You really should be in the mood for this before you watch it. This is not a party movie. Not a feel good movie. Not a redeeming movie. This is a movie that you think over, and think about. One that is close to home. One that you won't forget. What IS in that bag?
The Nut Job (2014)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
A fairly fun cartoon that focuses its laughs more for kids than adults. The plot concerns itself with storing up enough food for winter, and the parks animals that are trying to do so. We have the standard reluctant hero, the blowhard, the villain, the girl, and the sidekick that never gives up. Thrills abound, and there are even a few laughs for the adults. While this film falls a bit short for the grown-ups, the kids should have a pretty fun time. A Note for those twisted like myself; be on the lookout for evil personified in the guise of a Cardinal!
The Emoji Movie (2017)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I'm not going to be as rough on this as the rest of the users on IMdB are (3.5 rating). As a matter of fact, I'll use a character from the movie to describe it. Meh. That's right. There was nothing good or bad about this movie. It just kind unfolded in front of my glazed eyes over the screen. There were a few chuckles, but no laughs. And those who say it's offensive? No. A poop emoji is not offensive. This story stars the emoji misfits Meh, High Five & Hacker on their quest to have lives, and to save themselves from being deleted from the smart phone. They fight against Smiler, who runs the emoji's with an iron "smile", trollers, and malware bots. This movie would have made zero sense less than 20 years ago, and the movie is fading from my memory as I write this review about it. Not exciting, not boring. Save yourself from a "meh" evening.
The Hollow (2015)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Right off the bat I'll tell you that this movie is also known by the name "The Burning Curse". This will help you try to avoid this movie under any title. The film follows a trio of sisters who are traveling to an island to visit their aunt who is going to help them get better medical treatment for one of the girls, who is traumatized from seeing the death of her parents. For some reason every one-hundred years on Halloween, this island is cursed to have three supposed witches return in the form of a flaming, viney, wooden, scarecrow thingy. It's really not scary, but it manages to look pretty cool on the limited fx. If you see a still photo of the creature one time, this will really be enough to satisfy your curiousity. You really owe it to yourself to keep the ninety minutes of your life that I wasted to warn you of this dud. Watch something else!
The Pack (2015)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
This interesting independent film concerns a family in the deep country trying to make a living as a vet and a sheep farmer. Bad things start to happen when some sheep start showing up in bloody lumps and a bank manager threatens to foreclose on their house. We learn that the dogs that are killing the sheep also have a taste for more civilized flesh. This is a fairly standard stalk & slash, ramped up a notch by good acting and some quite tense moments. The makeup effects from the dog attacks are quite convincing and had me flinch a couple times. Being taken down and eaten alive by wild dogs has got to be one of slowest and most painful deaths of nature. The pace of the movie is quite brisk, and it's set up for a possible sequel at the end, although I hope they just keep it at one. Good on first watch, and would be a fun re-watch with friends.
Attack the Block (2011)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I was let down. How can a movie that features aliens attacking an apartment complex with one of the stars from Shaun of the Dead in it be a let down? I'm not sure, but it was. A group of unlikable kids robs a young woman at knife point. After the robbery, a meteor crashes into a car next to them When they investigate an alien attacks. The boys are able to fight it off, then chase & kill it. Wrong move. Lots more aliens come from the sky to exact revenge on their fallen comrade. The aliens themselves are a let down as well. The teeth on them are very cool though (you'll understand when you watch), but the rest is a kind of black ink blot. So, chases, fights, gore & blood ensue, but really none of these characters is worth caring about that much, and the reasons for almost everything that happens in the movie are either never given, or are random at best. If you really shut off your brain at the door, you can waste ninety minutes on this without too much pain though. Funny thing is, I keep remembering those teeth!
Mad Ron's Prevues from Hell (1987)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I wouldn't say it's an easy task to do a review of a set of movie trailers, because there is no plot or story to go by. But this particular one has a kind of wrap around story; or better yet it reminded me of the old horror host television movies I used to watch when I was a kid. The movies usually being older than death, or just really bad, you had a host that would make up kooky stuff during the movie breaks to make the experience that much more enjoyable, or laughable depending on the host and your mood.
And that brings us to Mad Ron's Prevues From Hell. A definite tongue-in-cheek trailer compilation. This is probably not the first compilation ever released, but it's from 1987, so it is one of the early ones to be sure. These days trailer compilations are plentiful, and there is no wrap around story, or guest host..... just two to four hours of trailers. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but sometimes you need a few minutes break from the trailers to get a breather in, and Mad Ron's compilation allows that with its silly and irritating hosts Nick (Nick Pawlow) and his demented zombie puppet Happy.
The "plot" of the "film" goes like this: Nick and happy are hosting a series of Mad Ron's (Ron Roccia) movie trailers for a theater full of zombies. Mad Ron himself is chained to the movie projector to be able to show the previews and not hurt anyone. There are some corny, funny and embarrassing gags along the way. Blood-buttered popcorn, arguing zombies, and some horrible jokes told by Happy and Nick. An interesting note: the makeup was done by a young Jordu Schell, who would go on to do makeup effects for such films as The Mist, Cloverfield, Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem and Avatar.
As far as movie trailers, if you've seen quite a few trailer compilations, then you've probably seen most of these.... but here is some of what you'll see: Wildcat Women (a 3-D trailer, and I didn't have my glasses handy, so I'm not sure if the 3-D worked or not), I Drink Your Blood, Ilsa, Deranged, Three on a Meathook, Love Me Deadly, Cannibal Girls, Deep Red, Toxic Zombies, Black Christmas, Blood and Lace, Bay Of Blood, Last House On The Left, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Blood Spattered Bride, I Dismember Mama, Torso, and Beyond The Door. Some of these are shown under alternate titles, which is fun to see.
People should really try to hunt this title down and pick it up. I've seen it quite cheap at different places. It used to only be available as a VHS tape, but it is on DVD now. You'll be able to see an early example of what trailer compilations used to be like before the grindhouse craze came along.
Hexen bis aufs Blut gequält (1970)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Based on one of the darkest times in history, Mark of the Devil deals with witchcraft as the church saw it. This meant years of torture, torment and false accusations from perfectly normal people. Better to call someone a witch and be wrong, than to be called a witch yourself.
The film starts with a witch burning by the local witch-finder, Albino (Reggie Nalder, in a particularly nasty role). He returns to the pub to find that a stranger, Christian von Meruh (Udo Kier) has come with orders from the king that matters in witch hunting are becoming too complex for just the local witch-finder to handle, and will be replaced as head of these matters by Lord Cumberland (Herbert Lom), who has much more experience in these matters. Albino, who is not trusted by the villagers because of his unsavory methods of finding the guilty (who usually aren't) is berated by them as he leaves the bar. Christian has another drink, which is brought to him by the barmaid Vanessa (Olivera Katarina), with whom he has become smitten.
As Lord Cumberland arrives, Albino rushes around, trying to find, or make up paperwork for all of his innocent prisoners. Cumberland takes on Albino as his aide, but retains Christian as well, as he is Cumberland's student. The first set of trials seem to go well, as most of the people condemned are seen with pity by Cumberland, and allowed to go free. Those to whom he feels guilty he has no qualms in making sure they are tortured and die in the name of the church. Only when Albino makes advances which are refused by Vanessa resulting in him decrying her as a witch does Christian come to see the error in his ways by allowing himself to be taught the churches misleading deeds in witch-finding. Cumberland has Vanessa locked up as a witch, much to the dismay of his pupil Christian. Things become so bad at one point, that a pair of puppeteers are imprisoned on accusations of witchcraft for supposedly being able to make wooden toys move and talk. What of the fate of Vanessa and other innocents? The evil Albino, will he be brought to justice? You'll have to grab the DVD and find out!
I've seen this movie several times before I viewed the copy here, released by Cheezy flicks. I believe that the Blue Underground release is better, and has more extras, but Cheezy flicks did something cheesy and wonderful by including a vomit bag with their release. A Vomit Bag! When the U.S. theater premier runs of the film were out, they also issued vomit bags for the movie going patrons, so this is like a little trip back in history. No indication if these are the original bags left over from the theater runs, or clever replicas. Either way, it's a very cool treat for fans of the movie.
The film is very graphic, shocking, and fun to watch all at the same time. The trio of Nalder, Lom and Kier make this a must own for horror fans. This is a very underrated film and used to be quite hard to find, so grab a copy now while it's available. Enjoy the torture.
My Name Is 'A' by Anonymous (2012)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
This movie is based on a true story of a teen murdering a preteen. It's depressing, horrid, terrifying and terrific. I hope the director has more up his sleeve that are even half this good.
The film starts out with introducing us to seemingly random teens, doing things that teens do that make adults scratch their heads in wonder. We have a pair of girls who are almost constantly filming themselves while doing everything. Being bored, touching an electric fence with their little brother, arguing, and preening. And wrist cutting. Yes, these girls are so randomly bored that it seems even that the most painful things that they do to themselves have no effect on them, except to record it to their camera and social media accounts.
The next teen we're introduced to is bulimic, and we find this out in a most disgusting way. She has a father who, it is implied, likes to rape his daughter, and she is stuck in the situation as we learn that her mother has long since left the relationship,probably due to her husbands disgusting lifestyle.
Lastly we meet a girl who dreams of being a singer. She is very talented, and is already quite a good painter. She is friends with a young girl probably half her age, and we see them hanging out together playing, and eating at a restaurant. The teen though, seems to have a questionable father too. We feel that she is trapped in her existence as well, hoping for something better to come along.
These story-lines remain separate through the first hour of the movie, almost telling a non-linear story. But slowly, very slowly, you start to realize that all of these teens have something in common, and even though you have a clue of what it might be, you've given in to your emotional investment, and you're hoping that you might be wrong about the conclusion of the film that you haven't even seen yet. The hints are slow in coming, and you are horrified and infuriated at the same time. You know the end of the story, but you want to know the how's and the why's.
The music in the film is amazing, and pulls the narrative along as there are some long stretches without dialog. There are no character names in the film, but you actually don't need any. You start remembering them by their traits, and that's all you need to move the story forward. The director gets great performances from all of his cast, and at some points you feel that the actors are actually doing the film themselves. There are some great styles of filming as well. We get some black and white, still shots, full frame and a webcam look.
This movie describes teen angst and boredom very well. I can remember some of the feelings myself. And what I can't remember, I have a teen of my own that I can identify some of the characters actions with. The long weekend and summer days with nothing at all to do. The identity crisis, and most of all, the peer pressure. The wanting to fit in so bad, that you're willing to do just about anything for anyone to prove it. The director masters all of these emotions in the film, and pulls the viewer into caring for most of these characters even though we have an idea that they are going to do something terrible.
By far the most saddening and horrifying thing about the film, and the director nails it head on, is how every hope and dream you've had up to this point in your life, every bad situation you're hoping to get out of, and every piece of your soul that you hope to gain back with adulthood, can be shattered and lost forever in one split second act. A decision you'll never come back or recover from. Ever.
This film will haunt you. Find it.
Mother's Red Dress (2011)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I have to say, after just finishing this film, that the writer/director Edgar Bravo should surely have a chance to do whatever he wishes for a follow up with the biggest name stars he can get. I see a fine future ahead for this man in drama related film. Awards are sure to follow him should he decide to continue his film making. I sure hope he does.
Mother's Red Dress is the story of a young man who has had a rough childhood, and whose mother has had to do horrible things to ensure the boy's safety. Paul (Timothy Driscoll), suffers from a sort of amnesia now, as he seems to remember his past, but not the specifics of it. He leaves his mother after her deadly encounter with an abusive boyfriend and ends up in a small town in southern California. There he meets Ashley (Alexandra Swarens), working with her friend in a coffee shop. Paul is inspired by Ashley to try and piece his life back together again. After receiving a call from his mother informing him that she has cancer, and another call from his father wanting to make amends for not being there during his childhood, Paul returns home to face his past, and his future, and the terrible truth that what he thought was real may not be reality.
This film had its meaty hooks into me pretty much from the opening credits. Writer/Director Edgar Bravo surprised me by filling out his whole film with engaging and complex characters. No one is wasted in the film, and there are no loose ends at the finale. There does seem to be an opening left for a sequel if the director desires it, but at the same time the open-ended feeling at the films climax almost seems to be a fitting end for this type of film, and the way the story was handled.
Now, if you're looking for a feel good story, happiness or an ending gift wrapped and handed to you, this is going to be a disappointing film. The tagline states "A Tragic Love Story", and they're not messing around about that fact. A lot of what transpires in the film feels like a mood piece, and at other times, the daily hum-drum grind of regular life. The film gives no promises to look forward to (other than a glimpse of hope near the films end), and pulls no punches when it comes to telling us about the story of a tragic life. The best thing this film does is to draw you in to the characters lives, and makes you feel for them. You feel some emotion for most every character in the film. You have to invest something to get the full appreciation of what is being told by the film maker. Truly good movies do that to us.
As far as the DVD presentation, the film is shot in widescreen format, and the film itself looks nice. It may have been shot on video, but doesn't really look like it, which is always a plus for me personally. The extras consist of a behind the scenes feature, and a cast feature. Grab a copy now, and enjoy a great director in the making.
Night of the Lepus (1972)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Well, happy Easter horror lovers, and what could be a better holiday film for us to eat our chocolate bunnies with than "Night of the Lepus." I watched an obviously cut version of this on TV as a kid in the 70's, but get the DVD, and you can put little Suzie off cuddly rabbits forever!!
Ah yes, another nature goes crazy film from the 70's. It seems as though we had a lot of those back in the day. Day of the Animals, Food of the Gods, Empire of the Ants, just to name a few. And of course this one. As funny of a premise as this sounds, the movie was actually based on a book. We have the plot of a rancher (Rory Calhoun; Motel Hell) having problems with an overpopulation of rabbits ruining his fields for the cattle. A Zoologist (DeForest Kelley; Star Trek) has helped the rancher before, removing coyotes from his land, thus the reason for the rabbit population. He has an idea though, to get his friend and his wife, lab specialists (Stuart Whitman and Janet Leigh), to do some lab experiments on the rabbits to see if they can lower the population by natural means and not chemical ones.
Through a mix up in the rabbit cages and one of the bunnies getting loose, we have a far bigger problem, literally. Giant rabbits!! Hundreds of them, and it seems as though they are on a rampage at night only, holing up in different places during the day. The characters of the film have to band together with volunteers and the national guard to have a final showdown. Does the plan work? Spend this afternoon gnawing on your chocolate Easter bunnies to find out!
Now, the premise of this movie has always seemed a silly one, but this is a good little scare flick with a very strong cast. The only problem I've ever had with the film is its special effects. I know it was the 70's, and they had to do miniatures and such. But you see the same special effects shot three or four times during the film. And as a movie that asks you to suspend your disbelief in a huge way, this can easily take you out of the moment to wonder why they couldn't get more SF shot produced for a major studio film.
This type of film has an unusually strong cast, and that's exactly what it needed to keep this film from becoming laughable. Every one of them plays their part seriously and the story moves along at a good speed because of this. There is a lot of action in the movie and you know that everyone involved must have had a great time working on it.
Should you add this DVD to your collection? Well, if you've only ever seen the cut up prints on television, then yes you should. It's still only rated PG (It would get a PG-13 if released today I believe). But there is more blood and bunny death in the DVD version. Its a pretty bare bones release, with only the trailer for an extra. But the film can be found in bargain bins, or at a bargain price, so pick it up for an Easter holiday horror film to be enjoyed by all!
Captain Amazing Lad (2007)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Well, how can I sum this up? How can I make a review that lasts longer than a few lines? Look, this film has some great old time animation going for it. And in my opinion that's all. This is the New Adventures of Captain Amazing Lad.
I tried to like this, I really did. And as I said above, the animation was fantastic. This is an animated superhero spoof cartoon, based on the bumbling Captain Amazing Lad and his misadventures in trying to stop crime, super villains and his nagging wife. He lives in Metro City, and takes his orders from the mayor who sports an eye-patch (Kind of like the commissioner in Batman mixed with Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.) In his first adventure, he has to invite a "mertrosexual" super villain to the mayor's ball, so that the villains super sexy wife will show up as well. The intended invitation does not work out and Amazing Lad is struck by the Villains "Gay Ray". This is going to pose problems for Amazing Lad's wife. End of episode.
In the second episode, Captain Amazing Lad is called upon by the mayor to stop a crime mastermind known as Dr. Dark. Amazing lad also need to take the wife shopping, so decides to crash the crime party while leaving his wife in the car waiting. Captain Amazing Lad saves the day. In the final scene we find the the shrink ray DID work at shrinking Amazing Lad's head, and he and his wife argue about new superhero names as we fade to black. End of episode.
Wait, that's it!?!?! Yes, you get two twenty minute episodes. And I believe the dates on them were 2006, so I wouldn't expect any more. And the show was supposed to be funny. I didn't snicker even one time. The stories were too short to get into any kind of character depth, and every single "joke" fell flat.
The extras on this disc are actually longer and better than the main feature. First off, we have Captain Amazing Lad does the U.K. This feature speaks with the people involved with the making of the show, and later on you get movie goers reactions to seeing the short films. There is also a movie trailer and an interview with Captain Amazing Lad and his creator (Which is super sped up, so you understand nothing... I didn't get that joke either).
For a bonus on the disc you get what looks to be the Gammera The Invincible movie split up into three parts. Its cool if you like that movie, but talk about random. Seeing that as an extra made me laugh more than the feature did. And last, you get a preview of Orlok The Vampire with parts in 3D, introduced by Lloyd Kaufman of Troma movie fame. Again, very random, but cool as well.
If you need to see this, please rent it first. You might find it funny, I didn't. The extras were more enjoyable than the main feature, and that's not a good thing.
Porkchop (2010)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Well, I'd been kind of looking forward to seeing this movie, as it had a cool hand drawn cover of the title character and the tagline bragged of 80's style horror. I was really hoping that I'd have some fun with this film, so I decided to pop it in tonight and see what it was all about. Well, what it seemed to be all about was breaking the cardinal rule of low budget horror films: Do Not Be Boring!
Porkchop is a no-budget movie shot on video, and it starts off terribly with an awful heavy metal tune titled "Porkchop" running over the opening credits of real footage of pigs being butchered in a slaughterhouse. As far as disturbing, or gross, this would be the highlight of the film.
It's the classic tale of getting a group of buddies together to go on a camping trip out in the woods where a rural legend just happens to still be around. We have six "buddies", and one robot. You heard me right, a robot is among the cast for the entire movie, spouting off terrible one liners and being the most annoying of all of the annoying characters in the movie. That's another big no-no that this movie has in store for us. There is not one character to root for in the film. Not one of them would we miss if they ended up on the end of Porkchop's chainsaw. The only thing that seemed to matter to me was hoping that all of the female characters got topless at least once. That one wish was almost fulfilled, as our lead female character does not lose her clothes during the film.
There were some characters that were so bad at acting that I wondered if there was even a script being used at some points. Some of the lines being read, or made up were so poorly acted that I wanted to hide my face in shame for them. I sure hope they got paid well, but somehow I doubt it. Taking a camera into the woods, and filming your friends trying to do scary things can be fun for the people doing it, but not always fun for the people that get to watch what you've made out of it.
The film had no sense of urgency, no atmosphere, no tension, and worst of all, no action at all until the one hour mark. Any attempts among the characters to make any type of jokes or humor fall completely flat. The only interesting time I had was during the campfire scene when the legend of Porkchop was told. It seemed to be the only part of the movie that drew me in for a few minutes, and was quickly discarded as the characters reverted back to their boring nature after that one scene was completed. No matter how many times the actors referenced different 80's icons, it did not look or feel anything like an 80's film like it had been advertised as. And seeing female teenage (supposedly) characters with tattoos and tramp stamps didn't help create any 80's vibe either.
Yes, this film was a disappointment for a lot of reasons. As little as I could let myself get into the film, I still saw mistakes that the filmmakers must have seen themselves and didn't want to, or couldn't afford to fix. A girl has no flashlight in one scene, then suddenly she has one in the next. Even so bad as to start a kill with a long handled buzz saw, and finish the scene with the killer holding a chainsaw. Inexcusable. There is no reason at all that you should need to see this film, unless you choose morbid curiosity, and then you'll just be torturing yourself.
Potnah (2011)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Sometimes when you're watching a movie, you get in a groove. You feel like you've got the rhythm of the film figured out, and then you can sit back and just coast along with it. But what happens when a simple film is complicated by needless jargon, and overly complicated flashbacks and late entry plot elements that feel like they were tossed in at the last moment? You get this film.
Potnah is a film that tells a supposedly true story about the New York underground cigarette cartel. I never knew there was one myself, but you learn something every day. I can also see people killing and being killed for cigarettes too. Being a former smoker, I know they are at least as addictive as any drug out there, so why not make money off this "legal drug". The meat of the story concerns a man who is thought to have killed his partner in crime. He denies this, but at the same time will not reveal to police who really did it.
The story is told clumsily in multi-flashback mode, and switching back to the present long enough for the police to prod the man back into his story. Some of the flashbacks work well, while others feel like they didn't really need to be a part of the story. Since this film is based on fact though, I believe the director was trying to put as much of the real story into his film as he could, but it leaves the story with a complicated feel to it, when in hindsight it was a very simple story to tell.
There are some twists and turns along the way that were a bit hard to keep up with due to a storyline that did not establish its characters very well. Another twenty minutes at the beginning of the film to set up the periphery characters would have gone a long way to enlighten the viewer, and make the story flow at a better and more satisfying pace. I do have to admit to enjoying the flashback scenes in the prison. It had a very authentic feel, and the actors in that part of the film did the best work in the movie. The story is finally concluded in a satisfying manner, with no loose ends that I could notice, it's just too bad that it had to take such a messy path to get there.
Potnah is shot in widescreen format, and the picture quality is great. However, the sound leaves a lot to be desired. The entire movie is overly loud, and there are quite a few instances of annoying voice-overs that are even louder and more muffled than the regular soundtrack. The films music is rap and hip-hop flavored which had pretty good sound, and was the style of music I expected for an inner city story like this one. The cover of the DVD has parental advisory stickers on the front and back, and they are large. The funny thing is that this movie, while unrated, would barely make an R rating. So the stickers feel like they are there more to entice you into buying something you think is going to be more gritty, bloody and realistic than it actually is. It was an interesting story, and if you're a fan of big city crime tales, this low budget film could be a decent time waster for some of you.
Scavengers (2013)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I've never had the displeasure of seeing someone ruin a movie all by themselves. Granted, he had lots of help, but Scavengers could have been a better movie had Sean Patrick Flanery (playing bad guy Jekel) simply refused the part. His voice barely rises above a snarly whisper most of the time, and when you can understand what he's saying, you wish that you couldn't. I couldn't quite tell if it was a horrible script that couldn't be saved, or if he actually thought he was menacing. Point is, none of that matters because he sucked, and was totally annoying and unbelievable.
Scavengers is a science fiction film that would probably find a nice home on the SyFy network. The plot is about two bitter enemies chasing one another for the three parts of a "chaos" machine hidden across the universe. While we have some characters here that do their job fairly well (John Lee Ames, Jamie Strange and Louise Linton), the horrible special effects ruin the story and get in the way of making the movie something you can get into at all. Every time I'd start to settle in to a part of the film, something would come up to wreck it. Machine gun fire sounds from spacecraft? Yes, you have it here. Special Effects that make the Saturday Morning Cartoons look like Star Wars? Yes, it's here. This is NOT a so bad it's good movie. This movie has parts and pieces that actually work. There are a few scenes that work very well, but they are far and few between, and not worth spending money to see.
I would like to warn you as well that the end of this film has it set up for a sequel if they wanted to do one. I'd advise you to run and not walk away from this if it happened. Characters who have gone through the wringer throughout the film's running time are suddenly fresh and ready to roll off into space again just as the credits are about to roll. So it seems to make the whole ninety plus minutes of what you just watched a completely moot point. Could this be a prequel of sorts? Could it be the start of some sort of series? Please no. Spare us that. As I said before, this could have a life as a series on the SyFy Network. Other than that, it's doomed to frustrate viewers with its atrocious acting on the part of Flanery, and its wooden script.
Rose Tattoo: Live at Boggo Road Jail 1993 (1993)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Rose Tattoo - "The Meanest Band In The World" - is a group I'd heard of, but never actually listened to. Now this DVD was a decent overall introduction to them for me, but will be of interest for more established fans because this is part of a festival show, and their set is only an hour long and some of the performances seem rushed, and the sound mix wasn't as good as it could have been. Let's take a look at the bands history, then we'll look at the DVD's somewhat abbreviated setlist.
Rose Tattoo is an Australian rock and roll band, now led by Angry Anderson, that was formed in Sydney in 1976. Their sound is hard rock mixed with blues rock influences, with songs including "Bad Boy for Love", "Rock 'n' Roll Outlaw", "Nice Boys", "We Can't Be Beaten" and "Scarred for Life". Their first four albums were produced by Harry Vanda and George Young who also worked with AC/DC. They disbanded in 1987, subsequently reforming briefly in 1993 to support Guns N' Roses on an Australian tour. They reassembled again from 1998 and have since released two more studio albums.
We didn't reform until '92. In '93, the word got around, because we had reformed with our existing drummer Paul DeMarco. The Gunners heard we were out playing again and said, 'We want you to do our support gigs throughout Australia.' We did those two raceways gigs - Eastern Creek in Sydney and the raceway down in Melbourne."
Rose Tattoo supported Guns N' Roses on the Australian leg of their Use Your Illusion Tour. Anderson, Wells, Cocks, Leach and new drummer Paul DeMarco from Wells' solo band reunited for the 1993 tour.
According to Australian rock music historian Ian McFarlane, Rose Tattoo are "one of the most revered bands of all time. The Tatts played peerless, street-level heavy blues with the emphasis on slide guitar and strident lyric statements". Guns N' Roses, L.A. Guns, Keel, Nashville Pussy, Motosierra, Pud Spuke and Helen Schneider have covered Rose Tattoo songs. On 16 August 2006, they were inducted into the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) Hall of Fame. Five former members have died in recent years including four of the original recording line-up, Dallas Royall (1991), Peter Wells (2006), Ian Rilen (2006) and Mick Cocks (2009), and Lobby Loyde (2007), who was a member between October 1979 and September 1980.
The setlist from the DVD is as follows:
1.Out Of This Place
2.Bad Boy For Love
3.Assault & Battery
4.Tramp
5.The Butcher & Fast Eddie
6.Rock N' Roll Is King
7.Street Fighting Man
8.Rock N' Roll Outlaw
9.One Of The Boys
10.Nice Boys
11.Going Down
There are no extras on the disc, so what you get is a 54 minute concert from the Boggo Road jail. Again, this is a good disc for established fans, but I'd advise newcomers to search out other concerts that Rose Tattoo has available.
Rap Sucks (2011)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I'm finding it hard to describe this film in words. Somehow I have to, since this is the review. I'll start with a line I read about the film, "Rap Sucks - And So Does This Film". Its listed as a comedy, and I didn't laugh once. It had the first ever fart joke that I didn't laugh at. In one of my earlier reviews, I listed Goblin(from the 1980's) as the worst film I'd ever seen. Well, this has taken the crown and makes Goblin look ready for an Academy Award Nominee. So on to the review.
Bill (Bill Zebub) hates rap. He also hates minorities, society and misuse of the English language. Bill is angry about these things, but not as angry as the women who sit around and discuss these things at length while playing a Dungeons & Dragons style game. Bill keeps losing girlfriends because of his views, and his allegedly "small package". Melissa (Ida Barklund) sees through these things to the romantic guy on the inside and falls for him, despite his "Shortcomings".
That's pretty much everything that happens in the film. It's a no budget affair that pads out its EXTREMELY long one-hundred minute running time with many scenes that run way too long, and random strip scenes (about the only good thing in the film). The acting is quite poor all around (Ida could have some promise in the future, if she works at it), and at some points you're left wondering if there is even a script as you see actors flubbing lines and laughing at other actor's lines. The editing is non-existent (you know it's bad when a stripper almost falls down trying to take off her underwear while she's trying to be sexy and it gets left in the final cut).
The film is so very random. Every fifteen minutes or so, you get a clip of a death metal band playing live for a minute or so, and then one of the band members speaking to the camera in a foreign language. There are no subtitles, so you have no idea what the hell they are saying. If you do like death metal, it will be the best thing about the film for you. There is a soundtrack if you are interested, and you can find information about it at billzebub.
I am not sure if it's intentional or not, but it seems as if the movie tries to be offensive, and winds up being stupid and falling flat on its face instead. I know Bill Zebub has a cult following, and maybe I just don't "get it" when it comes to his style of film-making. But I've watched tons of movies in all genres, so I have a good idea of what I feel is good and what is bad. I can understand, and even like some "so bad it's good" movies, and shot-on-video movies with a low budget. This is just a bad film, period. Even if you are a hardcore death metal fan, I'd stay away from this and get the soundtrack instead.
This is shot in widescreen and picture and color are fine, as they should be for a film shot on video in 2011. The extras include an uncut interview with Peter Steele (from Type O Negative; the DVD cover says Steel, and I believe it's supposed to be Steele), a blooper reel, extended scenes, and full credits for all of the music in the film.
Razorback (1984)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
One of my favorite movies growing up was this Australian giant pig movie. I remember after the first time I watched it, I was in school the next day telling all my friends about it. No one had heard of it. I was quite disappointed, because the movie was so damn cool! Now, I just feel that it's an overlooked gem that I had the privilege to enjoy since its 1984 debut on home video.
We start out in the Australian outback one evening when a man is putting his young grandson to sleep. A giant razorback rumbles out of the darkness, crashing through the house and takes the boy away into the night, leaving the grandfather injured and wandering around screaming for the lost boy. Most of the plot is set up before the opening credits even roll. The grandfather, Jake Cullen (Bill Kerr) is tried for the murder of his grandson, but found innocent and his pursuit of the razorback that no one believes in, begins.
From America comes animal rights activist and reporter Beth Winters (Judy Morris), who is doing a report on the slaughter of the kangaroos in a small town that houses a pet food packing plant. She winds up on the wrong side of some bad characters and goes missing. Our star, Carl Winters (Gregory Harrison) arrives himself soon after to investigate the disappearance of his wife. We are soon to find out that Jake Cullen and Carl have a lot more in common than they would like to believe.
This was director Russell Mulcahy's first feature film after directing MTV videos (including the first video ever aired on MTV, "Video Killed The Radio Star"). And his faster editing skills, along with brilliant lighting effects raised the bar of films to follow. The film is fast paced, and each character is someone you get to put some emotion behind. At times, looking at the film now, it almost has some art house moments (especially during the dream sequences), but none of the pretentiousness of said type of film. Russell knew what type of movie he wanted from the beginning, it's just his flair for the dramatic that shines throughout.
Cutting to the quick, this is just a really damn cool flick that needs to be watched and appreciated by as many horror fans as humanly possible. It's the type of film that you can watch many times and never get sick of it. As a matter of fact, it seems as though you notice something new in it with each new viewing.
If you can get it, the R2 release from Anchor Bay is the DVD to get. There is an American release, but it's only available through Warner Archive and is expensive, and probably has no extras. The R2 Anchor Bay release has plenty of goodies including a widescreen transfer, theatrical trailer, a featurette, cast biographies, a stills gallery and film notes.
You need to own this film and share it with as many horror buffs as you can!
Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship & Videotape (2010)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Everything you wanted to know about the video nasties, but was afraid to ask!
First of all, as an American reviewing this, I was not "there" when this all happened. Maybe that makes it even more enjoyable today. And it also makes watching what happened even more unbelievable and shocking, so let's get to it.
This set seems to be the be all, end all of what you need to know about video nasties all packed into a three-disc set running over thirteen hours in total. If you were a lucky person (and I wasn't) some of the early copies were sold with replica lobby cards advertising some of the nasties talked about in the film.
The set starts off with the documentary, Video Nasties; Moral Panic, censorship and videotape. While being greatly informative and interesting, I felt it was too short as the run time for this was only about 72 minutes. This could have run at least another hour without me losing any interest whatsoever, because the subject is so fascinating. It includes snippets of interviews from both pro and con camps. Mary Whitehouse, Graham Bright and others make appearances in new and archival footage, and the history of what happened with the early 80's videotape scare is made very clear, even if you weren't from England. Archival news reports as well as new footage from reporters is used to illustrate how intense this issue was in the day, and how it seems to have never really gone away entirely as censorship can still be found in movies new and old to this day in England.
While I found the documentary fascinating and should have been the meat and potatoes of this package, it is not. Surprisingly, its the extras which makes this set a must own for all collectors of horror cinema.
The extras on disc one (including two Easter eggs) are as follows. You get almost an hours worth of pre-cert video company identifications. This could be boring for some, but I enjoyed looking at them, and recognizing a few of them myself (Thorn-EMI for one). This will be more nostalgic for VHS tape collectors, and for those across the pond who have seen these often. Last on Disc one is an image gallery showing artwork from the 80 titles on the DPP's section 3 list. These are all VHS covers and look wonderful on the screen.
Disc two starts the amazing reviews and trailers of the video nasties. all original trailers are filmed with new introductions from some of the people who appeared in the documentary. Kim Newman, Marc Morris, Neil Marshall and other experts do the honors to introduce the nasties and their trailers. This portion concentrates on the 39 nasties that were successfully prosecuted in the UK courts. Plus you get another image gallery for those 39 video releases.
Disc three continues along the same path, with the guests introducing the trailers for the 33 nasties that were initially banned, but then acquitted and removed from the DPP list. Plus you get to see the image gallery for those covers as well.
All of the trailers look to be in the correct aspect ratio and seem to have been cleaned up as much as possible considering the rarity of some of them. The introductions are concise, insightful and genuinely honest about the material and you can learn what nasties seem to be the most popular, the best to watch, and which ones to avoid. To the collector though, the DPP list is a dream list to be able to collect all the nasties, good or bad, to be able to proudly say you own them all.
As I said in the beginning, this is a must own for all horror collectors. It will take you back in time with its documentary, and it will give you something to enjoy and study with its commentary and nasties trailers. I believe that this might be the final word on the subject of the video nasties And if not, surely it will rank among the most enjoyable. Go out and get yourself a copy of this now.
Scouts Honor (2009)
Bills Revies For Short Attention Spans
I tried to like this movie, I really did. I've either been spoiled on classic comedies, or I'm too picky with the comedy genre, or this movie was just plain horrible. I tend to believe the latter will be true.
This story follows three brothers, The Appleorchards; Brandon (Chris Kattan), the bad one, and his two brothers David (David Schultz) and Tim (B.J. Bales) who find out that their father (Kip King, Chris Kattan's real life father) is joining his wife in the circus sideshow, and will be giving Camp Bear Claw to the winner of an eight week badge competition. And that's it. We base a ninety minute film on this premise.
First things first: Chris Kattan does NOT belong in feature films. He was only o.k. doing short skits for SNL. He comes nowhere close to any acting ability and spends most of the running time shouting, crying, growling and yelling. I hope SNL takes him back, or maybe he can be a talent behind the camera, because he certainly is not one in front of it.
Even Fred Willard, who has a small part as the Game Master, and giving updates over the loudspeaker to campers looks bored and seems like he's reading his lines off cue cards. The sophomoric comedy that this film is brought only a couple chuckles from me as a bear is running loose throughout the film, and there is a fart joke (I'll never grow too old for fart jokes). The film drags itself along so slowly that you wonder if this might not have had its beginnings as a rejected SNL skit that got drawn out to a feature length film. And whoever did this film's editing must have been a rookie as you'll see some scenes end as the actors are still reading lines. The whole film feels forced and rushed with bad material to work with.
And just to put the icing on the weird cake, David and Tim have a robot that talks and sings and goes out on dates with the female campers. Where the hell did this come from??? It's not funny, adds nothing to the story, and all I can think of was that it padded out the time by ten minutes or so. The special features (if you actually make it to them) are, the official trailer, deleted scenes, and a Brandon montage.
Look, it's as simple as this. If you want to watch a sophomoric comedy that actually has a few laughs in it, run down to the video store and grab "Ernest Goes To Camp."
Vs. the Dead (2009)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Well now, this was a pleasant surprise. A nice twist on the zombie genre that didn't end up being buried by it's lower budget. It even had creativity to spare. Hollywood hates new ideas, it seems. So I'll just keep hoping and praying that little movies like this keep getting made that show the big guys that originality is not dead after all.
We start out in Afghanistan, where the government has invented a serum called ROUND 2 that you inject into recently dead soldiers. It reanimates them and let's them carry on killing those they hate, and not harming their own troops. The problem happens to be when a reanimated soldier bites an enemy instead of outright killing it. I think you can see the problems, and why the government stopped using it.
Back in the good old U.S.A. a freak accident and some bad luck has a tube of ROUND 2 end up in a tattooists ink supply. I know, it sounds stupid. It is, kind of. But I realized early on, that this was going to be the type of movie that logic does not apply to. Just go with the flow and enjoy the events unfold. At the local pizza shop in town, a few jobless punks tell the pizza shops owner that if he gets a tattoo, they'll leave his shop and never come back. This is the set-up for the Virus to be introduced into the civilian population, and the reasoning is as lame as it sounds. But hey, go with the flow. The tattoo is done, the pizza shop owner returns to his shop, tells the punks to get out, then drops dead... for a minute. Then this fun, outrageous gorefest truly begins.
The gore effects in the film are great considering they must have had a pretty tight budget. There are even a few nice, brutal kills that made me wince a little. They did that good. And whoever edited the film did a great job, using split screen at some points, and giving it a 70's feel. It's almost distracting, especially during the beginning of the film, when we are learning who the characters are. I had the same complaint with the Tarantino film Grindhouse, and that was to give us two versions of the film, so that we can choose to have the grindhousing effects on or off. Actually, since it was done digitally, it could just be an option on the menu to have those effects on or not.
I can overlook that one problem though, as the movie was a joy to watch. There are some humorous moments that help move the film along at a nice clip, and I would really like to know how they got such great zombie makeup effects on their low budget. I hope they release a CD, because the soundtrack to this film was great, and you'll want to have it in your collection. Be sure to watch through the end credits for some more story, and it looks like it's set up for a sequel as well. Let's Kill Some Dead People!
To Haunt You (2011)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Independent DIY productions are a really big hit or miss affair in my opinion. Budding directors with low budgets can easily flop big time by trying to make a bigger movie than they have a budget for, and some of them know the limitations of what they have to work with, and come up with a story that keeps you interested with just enough effects to try and make it creepy for us. To haunt You thankfully falls under the latter category, although there are still some problems to be had.
Jill (Emily McMillen), has been getting prank phone calls. No one is ever on the line when she answers, and she thinks it's Greg (Patrick Cavanagh), the guy she just broke up with. Jill and her friend Paige (Lisa Demumbrum) are trying to figure out the mystery to this and more as Jill finds herself being haunted in her home. There are the words "Hurt You" that come on the TV screen after she has just cut herself, and twice she sees a strange woman out at the back gate leading to her home. She finally calls the police after she is locked in her own bathroom for hours while her house in ransacked. When the police arrive, Jill tells them about Greg, and how she has been harassed by him since the breakup, and she wants it to stop. The mystery deepens even more when the police return the next day to inform Jill that Greg committed suicide the night after they broke up.
This is labelled as a horror movie, but it fits more into the mystery/thriller category for me. Yes, there are some horror elements, but they are stuffed into the end of the movie, and in such a way that you wonder where in the hell it came from. It smells of a last minute rewrite, or just trying to fit too many ideas into the last act of the film. Running at barely over an hour, they could have had a longer running time to make the last of the movie match the pace of the first 50 minutes of it. Maybe they just ran out of money. We'll probably never know. The acting in the film is pretty decent all around for a low budget effort. The characters are believable, and their situations feel genuine. One thing this movie does extremely well is handling the use of flashbacks. Most of the movie is told in this fashion anyway, but when the director started using flashbacks within a flashback, I was sure I was going to lose the plot of the movie, or just become irritated with the film. I'm glad to say that this did not happen, and the material was handled well in the flashback context. The only complaint I had with this film was its rushed final fifteen or so minutes, and throwing in a lot of unnecessary twists, turns and confusion that turn the film sour with a downbeat and head scratching ending. I do look forward to more from this director as he seems to have a wonderful grasp on the storytelling angle. I just hope he works on his pacing to make an even more enjoyable film.
Zoot Sims (1985)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
Do you know much about the jazz scene? Well, no I don't either, and I'm a long time musician. Rock and roll and jazz are miles apart though, so I figured I'd educate myself with this DVD of one of the premier jazz musicians, Zoot Sims. It was a fun time and a journey you should take as well. Let's get the background story on this jazzman, then we'll talk a bit about the performances on this disc.
Wikipedia
He was born in Inglewood, California, the son of vaudeville performers Kate Haley and John Sims. Growing up in a performing family, Sims learned to play both drums and clarinet at an early age. His father was a vaudeville hoofer, and Sims prided himself on remembering many of the steps his father taught him.
Following in the footsteps of Lester Young, Sims developed into an innovative tenor saxophonist. Throughout his career, he played with renowned bands, including Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw, Stan Kenton, and Buddy Rich. Sims was also one of Woody Herman's "Four Brothers", and he was known among his peers as one of the strongest swingers in the field. He frequently led his own combos and sometimes toured with his friend Gerry Mulligan's sextet, and later with Mulligan's Concert Jazz Band.
In the 1950s and '60s, Sims had a long, successful partnership as co-leader of a quintet with Al Cohn, which recorded under the name "Al and Zoot". That group was a favorite at the New York club The Half Note. Always fond of the higher register of the tenor sax, Zoot also liked to play alto and late in his career added the soprano saxophone to his performances, while recording a series of albums for the Pablo Records label of impresario Norman Granz. Zoot also played on some of Jack Kerouac's recordings.
Sims acquired the nickname - Zoot - early in his career while he was in the Kenny Baker band in California. The name was later appropriated for a sax-playing Muppet.
Zoot Sims died in New York on March 23, 1985.
/Wikipedia
This performance takes place at the library of the Sonet headquarters building in Lidingo, Sweden in 1984, only four months before Zoot died at the age of 60. These songs are performed in a casual setting, with only bass and guitar for augmentation. There are titles at the beginning of each song, which helped me out, being unfamiliar with the material being played. Between each song is a small interview clip with Zoot. Personally, I felt they should have had the entire performance done without breaks, and had the interview at either the beginning or the end of the show. The music is so relaxing that the clips in between take you out of the mood that was built up with the previous song.
This DVD reminds me of something that you would see on a public television special. It's informative, professional and well filmed. It's quite amazing to watch them play as they're reading the song from sheet music in some performances, as I'm not able to read sheet music myself.
This DVD is filmed in full screen, and the stereo sound is very nice. The guitar is slightly buried in the mix though, except for the guitar solos. The stand-up bass is front in the mix, all most drowning out the guitar phrasing at points. But the important part is Zoot, and his saxophone levels are just right at all times, and every performance is impeccable. Here are the songs performed;
1.In A Sentimental Mood
2.Gone With The Wind
3.Castle Blues
4.Sweet Lorraine
5.'Tis Autumn
6.Autumn Leaves
This is a great DVD for jazz purists, or a novice like me. Pick it up, you'll be glad you did.
Schism (2008)
Bills Reviews For Short Attention Spans
I knew that I was going to like this movie before I ever watched it. The reason for this is Lynn Lowry. She has played in some of my favorite horror films over the years, including "I Drink Your Blood", "The Crazies" and "They Came From Within". She has acted well in each film, and it's not wrong to say that I had a crush on her in my early days of watching horror films. To find out that she not only starred in this new film, but co-wrote and co-produced it had me very excited indeed. So let's find out more about Schism.
Betsy, Jackie and Lola are all the same person (Lynn Lowry). They make up the three personalities of a local cable talk show host. Her show, "In Touch With Insanity" deals with the people who are "not normal". She has call-in's from people who are depressed, suicidal, think they are vampires, shut-ins, kleptomaniacs, people with homicidal tendencies, among others. A lot of the people that she talks to she ends up referring to her doctor, who she says has helped her in her battle with multiple personalities.
One by one these people are visited by Dr. Fuller (Robert Youngren). It seems as though the doctor has other plans than curing his new patients. For each individual he has a special plan. He tricks them into believing that he is curing them, and at the same time he drugs and hypnotizes them into doing his wishes. Murder, experimentation, extortion and manipulation are what he has in mind for these people. It seems for them that the cure is worse than the problem they faced originally.
The talk show host finally begins to realize what is going on, and that she has unwittingly been participating in giving the doctor unwilling patients for him to practice his madness on. All of the characters come to clash together and the twisting climax is worth the wait during the films build up. The conclusion is nothing short of shocking.
The heart and soul of this film is Lynn's performance. By pulling off a convincing role of a woman with multiple personalities, she helps bring credibility to the rest of the film and it's actors and their plights as well. The plot is a solid one, and there are no moments that drag during the 90 minute running time. There is even some humorous moments courtesy of a fun bar scene where we get to see lynn's character sing. (and she does a very good job of this as well. Talk about being talented!) There is also a laughable moment near the beginning of the film as Lloyd Kaufman gets a cameo as one of the nuts that calls in on the cable show. The only complaint I had was the doctor. His character was not convincing to me. His acting seemed quite wooden for someone who was supposed to come off as menacing and threatening. This is a small complaint though as every other actor in this low budget production was well above the level of acting that is usually seen in these types of films.
The film is in anamorphic widescreen and looks great. The stereo sound was great most of the time. There was some muffled sound in a few scenes mostly involving the doctor. Again, it's noticeable, but does not last long enough to become a distraction. The special effects were very good considering the budget, and they were not over used. This is a character driven movie with a great plot, and the effects only enhance and drive us to the films exciting conclusion.
On the copy of the film I got, it says that I had the "2-Disc Special Edition". And I hope the official release keeps it that way, because the special features on the second disc are truly worthwhile and fun. First of all you get an audio commentary along with the film on the first disc with Lynn Lowry, director Derek Purtell and his wife and co-writer Erika Purtell. Then on disc two you have "The Making of Schism". A 45 minute feature speaking with the actors and the director. Next is a special effects feature running 11 minutes, A Lynn Lowry in depth interview that runs 39 minutes. Deleted scenes is next, running 22 minutes. A short feature with the soundtracks band "Power Skeleton" that lasts 8 minutes. And last, but surely not least is a short 6 minute segment talking with Lloyd Kaufman.
This film is a must buy, plain and simple. Fans of Lynn Lowry, and fans of independent cinema need to own this so you can see how much can be done with so little.