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Threads (1984)
Terrible film
The first hour of the movie consists of characters talking about nothing while the radio plays in the background describing the war. Both are at the same volume so you can't understand either. The next hour is a masterclass of 'tell don't show.' The characters just sit around and cry and cough for the rest of the movie, while some text appears on screen every five seconds that says what's going on. Like, "radiation causes the following symptoms...," but you never see any of those symptoms. This movie was just so boring through and through. The first half was incomprehensible and the second half nothing happened.
The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon: Paris Sera Toujours Paris (2023)
Kind of illogical
I'm liking the show overall so far because I really like Daryl. But I feel like this episode and the previous one have the same problem. Both episodes have a community that seems just completely illogical to exist in the apocalypse. In the previous episode there was a pre-school who somehow survived. This episode has a nightclub with electricity and everything powering lights and mics in the catacombs beneath Paris. How does a preschooler fight off a zombie? How does a community survive in the middle of Paris? How do they get food? How are they getting water? It makes the zombies seem very trivialized. Like these pre-schoolers have survived. These people are surviving so easily that they are running a nightclub. There's a dude who made a zombie orchestra...Like it really trivializes the struggles that Rick's group went through. If a pre-schooler can survive so easily, why couldn't the characters in the walking dead? Overall I'm liking Daryl and his relationship with the female lead and the kid, but I wish the writers would think more about how these communities can exist in the walking dead universe.
American Horror Stories: Dollhouse (2022)
Awful awful ending, complete waste of time
First episode I watched of this show. I thought it was pretty good 7/10 until the last 2 minutes with the random deus ex machina ending. Last episode I will watch of this show.
Documentary Now! (2015)
A TV show where you have to do homework to enjoy it
I thought this was going to spoof documentaries in general, but it just spoofs specific documentaries. In order to find this show funny, you have to watch dozens of documentaries. Maybe it would be funny if you've seen all of the documentaries the writers have; but I haven't. And I don't want to do a bunch of 'homework' just to be able to watch a TV show.
Ragnarok (2020)
This might be one of my favorite shows ever.
Wow, this show is amazing. It has great characters, a great story, really good acting. It doesn't take itself too serious, and has lots of laugh-out-loud moments. It actually had me clapping and cheering at the screen during some of the scenes because of how awesome it was. This show absolutely blew me away, I had a smile on my face the entire time while watching. I also really liked that they used real Norse Mythology, and took actual events from some famous stories and incorporated them into the show. I highly recommend it to everyone!
Dota: Dragon's Blood (2021)
Horrendous Animation Renders the Show Unwatchable.
Some of the worst animation I've ever seen. Only one character can be moving on screen at a time. And they frequently just have no animation whatsoever. Like this show is basically just like watching a power point presentation or your aunt's slides from her vacation. You get one picture, and then two minutes of dialogue over the top of it. This is seriously one of the laziest animated shows ever. I would not recommend this whatsoever.
The Witcher (2019)
Very surprised this is getting such high reviews
This show is pretty bad honestly. Time jumps all over the place with absolutely no distinction between which time period we are in. They have a grandmother character who literally looks the same even when they skip twenty years in the future. I'm not really sure what the main plot is supposed to be. I feel like I'm watching a video game character do side missions. He is constantly going on random side quests, like there is an episode where he fights some demon in an old castle. And, while it was a good episode in terms of horror/action, it left me feeling like "so?" Like, why was that important to the plot? What was the purpose of that episode? There are like five episodes that feel exactly like that. There were tons of confusing things that they don't really explain. I'm sure that some of the things made sense if you played the games or read the books, but I didn't, and I feel like the writers made very little effort attempting to explain things for people with no frame of reference to the lore. I waited about a month to review this series because I like to wait for things to sink in, and let me just say that I have forgotten like 95% of what I watched. The show overall was extremely confusing and forgettable. Don't recommend, and I won't be watching the second season.
Kingdom (2019)
Amazing horror series
This series is amazing. Pretty much every horror show I've ever seen was set in the present, and set in America. It was great to see a series where they didn't have guns to solve their problems, and their rural population made zombies a much bigger threat. Not to mention is was scary to have fast zombies instead of the walking dead where they are just kind of an inconvenience. I also really liked that the characters were actually smart. There was a whole episode that didn't have a single zombie in it, it was just them preparing their castle for the attack. The set design, makeup, costumes, hair and cinematography was amazing as well. Really liked this show, looking forward to season two!
The Flash: A Girl Named Sue (2020)
Just when I thought this show couldn't get any worse.
Last episode was once again an awful episode this season. I'm getting close to quitting what used to be my favorite show. This episode was another just absolutely horrendous episode. So, first of all there is clearly something wrong with Sue, but Ralph who's supposed to be a detective somehow doesn't notice that, but whatever, that's okay. I can forgive that. But I can't forgive what follows--like fifty plot holes. So second, Ralph seems to only have powers when it's convenient. Gets punched in the face and knocked out by a random thug. Isn't he supposed to be invulnerable??? He's gotten shot with a freakin' missile and survived. But this episode he gets knocked out with one punch? Then later that same episode Sue leads him into the bank vault and (after realizing that he is a meta-human) punches him and knocks him out. She didn't even have a taser or a gun or anything? That was her whole plan? Then she locks the grate to trap him in, even though she knows that he has the power to basically phase through walls by squishing himself. But he doesn't do that and lets her get away. Then lo and behold there's some more goons. Elongated man squeezes through the ceiling and then covers her from a barrage of gunfire. So, apparently now he has invulnerability??? Then ultraviolet shows up and knocks out the goons. And then hits Ralph with a blast because he was trying to save that guard--okay, that's cool. Then Sue challenges her to a fistfight because she's an ultra-competent fighter because she went to a YMCA tae bo class or something. And then Ultraviolet decides not to disintegrate her????????? Why???? She could have just ended it right there. She's supposed to be a villain right? Then they fight and they both escape. Then Flash shows up. Wait what show was I watching again? Oh yeah THE FLASH. He has had like two minutes of screen time on his own show for the past three episodes. Then Barry says "I looked for them but I couldn't find them." Umm, haven't in previous episodes you've been able to freeze time when a bomb was going off and you could search the entire city before a single second goes by??? Barry's powers are extremely inconsistent. This was such a horrible episode. I'm getting very close to quitting this show. I thought last weeks episode was the worst episode of the whole show, but I was wrong. This is.
The Flash: The Last Temptation of Barry Allen, Pt. 2 (2019)
One of the worst episodes of the whole series.
I'm so disappointed in this show. Last episode was one of the best episodes in the whole series, and then they ruined it with this episode--one of the worst episodes of the whole series.
Okay, first of all, evil Flash just runs out of the room where all of the people who can stop him are. (Cait, Cisco, and Iris). He just zips away and does what??? He could have turned them or killed them right there. Or captured them and brought them back to Ramsey. Then they forcefield off Star Labs (Where the hell has that been? so many people sneak in to there). "Nothing can get in or out, not even our comms."--Direct quote from Cisco. LITERALLY three seconds later they receive a radio transmission, like okay. So then Iris moronically teleports to evil flash. Evil flash has a second chance here to kill or turn her but decides not to??? Then Ramseys finds Joe and Killer Frost in the middle of Central City and decides to send his zombie goons after them rather than just killing/turning them himself. Again just what the hell writers??? What was Ramsey's doing that was more important than that? Okay, so then Cisco teleports in and zaps Ramseys, then for like the fourth time Ramseys has a chance to kill/turn Cisco but decides not to for no reason at all??? He kept acting like he is so much smarter than everyone else, like he has some super smarty pants plan that is going to wow us all when he executes it. Then just shows up at Star Labs and says "pretty please let me in." And Ciscos just like "K" and does. Why did bloodwork even need to be there? His zombies can turn people, he could have just sent them rather than going himself. He could have sent evil flash in and just captured/turned/killed all of Star Labs, but doesn't for some reason. Then of course, mind controlling never works in Tv shows; all you need is a heartfelt speech and they snap out of it, so that happens and Ramseys loses.
So also there was a side story with Cecille. What was Cecille's power??????? She said "I'm a human zombie detector." Then proceeds to walk through the halls, and I kid you not the two times that she actually detects zombies, she does so with her eyes? Like, come on writers.
Also, side note, where was Elongated Man?
Last episode had me extremely excited for this villains and then this episode proceeded to kill my enjoyment of this story line. I'm still excited for the crossover next week, but I was extremely dissatisfied with this episode.
Mindhunter: Episode #2.4 (2019)
Very disappointed in a subplot
(spoilers)
Remember the great nuanced writing from season one? Bill was noticing some of the same symptoms in Brian that he was seeing in the serial killers he was interviewing. Absent father, isolated and withdrawn from personal relationships, possible early childhood trauma. All of these made for a gripping and complex narrative. In season two, they decide to throw all of that character development and great writing out the window for some cheap drama. They just tell you that Bill's son is a murderer, and is probably going to be a serial killer. There's also a scene in a later episode where he ominously stares at a girl on a swing-set. Again, throwing subtlety out the window for drama. This show was thrilling before they decided to do this; thankfully the main story line is still good. The rest of the season is good, but this episode and all of the Brian story line is definitely a black mark on an otherwise great show.
Also, I have not personally read the book, but this apparently strays way away from the real life person the show is based on. Which isn't surprising, this whole story line feels like it strayed way too far into the realm of fantasy. It's just too big of a coincidence that the FBI's expert on serial killers has a son who is a serial killer. Really poor quality writing (on this subplot, the rest of the show is great).
Stranger Things: Chapter Five: Dig Dug (2017)
Why no one takes horror seriously as a genre.
Hey I think that there is a monster in this system of underground tunnels. You know what would be a good idea? For me to go alone into the middle of the woods without telling anyone where I'm going. The tunnels, you ask? They're about 10 feet tall. My escape plan you ask? I don't know, I'm just going to jump into this hole I dug in the ground, which I also dug about 5 feet deep. How to I play to get out you ask? I guess Eleven will probably telekinesis me out at the last second.
10 minutes later. Oh no I'm trapped in these tunnels. Where did I go wrong???
10 minutes after that.
Okay, so this cop is trapped in the tunnels. Using magic we've found out where he's hiding, cool. So, we can see these tunnels. There's a hole about 5 feet deep, and the tunnels go down another 10. So we've brought two people this time. So one of us will surely stay above ground and maybe have a ladder? Or perhaps just hold the shovel so the other two can climb up? Nope, lets's both jump down in this hole. Our escape plan? Umm. Umm. Oh good these US agents happen to show up to save the day.
These are the most stupid characters ever. This is why no one takes horror seriously as a genre. People just write these characters to be unbelievably stupid.
We just heard on the radio that there is an escaped convict with a hook for a hand and a thirst for blood? Better go to make-out point and sit on the roof of our cars in the dark.
The Dragon Prince (2018)
Animation makes it literally unwatchable.
I couldn't get past five minutes of this series. The animation is just so horribly bad it makes it completely unwatchable.
Norm Macdonald Has a Show (2018)
This is a talk-show, not a comedy. If you were expecting a comedy, you will be disappointed.
It took me a few episodes to realize that it really isn't a comedy. Norm Macdonald is one of the funniest stand-up comedians I've ever seen. I love watching his appearances on talk shows like Conan and Fallon. I also really enjoyed the Norm Macdonald Live show. If you're a person who likes all of those things. and think that you will like this show just because it is Norm, well you will be disappointed. This is not Norm in his element--telling jokes, with satisfying punchlines and such. This is a talk show. Period. I would say that this would only be enjoyable for someone who really likes the guest. If you are lukewarm on the guests, I would say that you would probably not like this show. It is not very funny at all. If you are expecting jokes, well there are 3 jokes every episode. Ones that are written on note-cards. Norm reads one, Adam reads one, and the guest reads one. Those are pretty much the only jokes in the entire program. So, since this is not a comedy, as it is not funny. I have to then grade this show based on how good of a talk-show host Norm is. And, well he is not a very good host. He frequently interrupts his guests, which would be funny if this is a comedy, but as I established, I don't think it is. Therefore, interrupting is very awkward in this context. Furthermore, his co-host Adam is basically worthless. He literally just sits there and laughs. The only time that he ever speaks is when he is prodded for a question by Norm. Which, overall, creates a pretty awkward atmosphere. Ultimately, as much as I like Norm, I have to give this a pretty negative review. The show fails as a comedy, and then fails on the talk show aspect. The only way I would recommend this show, is if you really like the guest that is on--because some of the guests give some interesting stories. But, overall, I was disappointed.
Disenchantment (2018)
Very mediocre
It's not bad. But it's not good. I know other people are saying, "well Simpsons and Futurama didn't hit their stride in the first few episodes, it took them a few seasons to really get going." But I just kind of feel the opposite. Like, Simpsons came out in 1989. So they've had almost 30 years to perfect their craft. This show doesn't feel like 30 years in the making. Some of the animation is off, some of the sound design is off. There are scenes where characters are walking and there are no walking sound effects, scenes where someone gets hit with a sword and there are no swinging or clashing sound effects. There is a bar fight scene, where you can only really hear the character's voices, there is barely any background noise at all. The writing feels really bland. All of the jokes are really expected, and most of them fall flat. Overall, this show is not bad, but it certainly isn't Simpsons, nor is it Futurama. Maybe it will hit it's stride later but currently I don't think it's worth watching.
Castle Rock (2018)
So boring
I've watched the three episodes that are out, and let me say that this show is just so boring. Nothing has happened so far. I could literally describe everything that has happened so far in three sentences, and I wouldn't even be spoiling anything. That's pretty bad when you think about it. That's 30% of the way through the series, and nothing has happened yet. The characters are kind of interesting, but not interesting enough to warrant watching the series in my opinion.
Patriot (2015)
One of the worst ideas for a television series I have ever seen.
Couldn't make it past three minutes of the show. The main character is an undercover spy, who is also a folk singer. One of the first scenes of the series shows him busking on the street corner, detailing specific names and places of undercover operations that he has done. I turned it off right after that. I was laughing for like five minutes straight. It's not a comedy, but it made me laugh harder than any comedy ever has.