dybank

I haven't written a review on IMDb in years, but this was the best movie experience I've had in ages - I was screaming and laughing the entire time. While it's exactly in the format of a video game - a specific goal or "level", a "Boss" to kill to overcome the level, and a main "boss" to ultimately reach, but that's where the similarities end. I wish video games were like this, I wouldn't find them so boring then.

The writing is smart and surprising at every turn, there's twists and jokes and a range of scenes, and the ending is everything I was hoping for and more. While there are a ton of special effects that look fantastic, there are also no shortage of real stunts and amazing daring acts that people clearly were really doing with a go-pro strapped to their head. Doing the parkour and running across the top of bridges would look staged and safe filmed traditionally, but being the guy doing it was a different level of suspension of disbelief.

GO SEE THIS IN THE THEATERS!!!!

I'm the last guy who needs flashy edits, non-stop killing/gore and over-saturated colors, like the "Saw" sequels or the awful spat of recent remakes of the old-school horror - and I like 80's horror and 70's Drive-in exploitation, and I was led to believe that this would be in that vein. After hearing reviewers and people on Horror websites ejaculate over this movie, I decided to order it On Demand.

BUT THINGS HAPPEN IN THOSE MOVIES!!!!!! It is literally halfway into the movie that the first thing even happens, then it's another half an hour of watching the main character walk around bored. I'm not exaggerating, the "Oh, I'm so bored" sequence is about twenty minutes long.

And then something finally happens (over the hour mark) - OK, time for the payoff, right? Sooooo limp and quick.

If you really want to watch a blank-faced girl take half an hour to get a babysitting job, then sit around bored for another half an hour, then overcome the "horror" without too much difficulty, then HOUSE OF THE DEVIL is the movie for you! (to be fair, Tom Noonan was the one and only non-pathetic part of this movie, apparently the director didn't suck enough to bring him down too)

Really, all I needed was a one word review - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!!!!!

After watching this movie, I am all the more outraged that the money of New York State taxpayers was inappropriately used to distribute it. This movie is a lifeless, agonizingly unfunny attempt at humor. Twenty minutes into it I was shocked to find out that there could still be over an hour worth of this pure torture left. The lead actors are so bad that you would assume that their dads put up the money for it - only in this case, it was the life savings of union workers hoping to retire with dignity that funded this titanic bomb. Oww, my eyes are burning! This film literally seared my eyes, leaving me artistically scarred for life. If you want a terrorist to talk, show them this movie.