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Reviews
The Office (2024)
It's weird how defensive and aggressive people are over this
Honestly, it was never going to be the US office (or even the UK original) but that had 9 years to evolve and the first season's rating were terrible when it first aired and they almost didn't get renewed as a result.
Even in the years to follow, it wasn't hugely popular for a good while.
Not to mention that people keep whining about "why make another one" when there's already a dozen versions of the show from around the globe, so why not, when they had a couple new elements to try out?!
And I'm 100% confident that if the show was made as a stand alone without being associated with The Office, heaps more people would have given it a go and not shitcanned it so quickly (especially most before even giving it a chance).
It's the epitome of classic aussie humour (akin to "working dog" style comedy), so the people giving it super low reviews clearly don't enjoy any of some of our most popular Aussie comedy shows.
It's certainly not to everyone's taste, and some episodes aren't as funny as others (as is the same for all shows), but it definitely doesn't deserve the weird defensive and aggressive reactions, just because it's not the "original" (which a lot of people complaining don't even seem to realise was the UK version LOL)
Backtrack (2015)
Doesn't deserve the low score
Granted it's an Aussie film, so the budget isn't up there with US films, but it was actually very well done overall, and I have to credit Adrien Brody for his Aussie accent - it's not an easy accent to master and he's one of the few American's I've seen pull it off beautifully.
I'm also surprised by the reviews saying the first half is slow - it's not slow at all, and there's actually a lot to take in within the first half, but it's developing the complex mystery, and then as it moves into the second half, the storyline becomes more twisted, and then eventually resolves itself in a very interesting outcome.
I'm also not sure why any reviews didn't like the ending.. it made perfect sense to the story, and wrapped the film up.. not sure what they were expecting.
Overall, very glad I gave it a chance.
The Hunt for the Zodiac Killer (2017)
Entertaining drama, pointless documentary
The episodes were entertaining and gave plenty of excitement and suspense, went through a lot of different scientific method and interesting people with varied backgrounds and expertise.
Unfortunately, almost every thread chased throughout the entire 5 episode run all came to nothing; no evidence, no result, no connection, no solves.
All just a lot of so called experts chasing empty leads or patting themselves on the back for nothing of value.
And the "expert" who Carrie's on with self congratulations over "cracking" the z340, but then suggests 2/3s of it is intentional gibberish - absolute con artist IMO.
Was an interesting watch if you view it as a drama instead of a doco - and don't expect any answers.
Acts of Violence (2018)
D grade Taken
Basically the same storyline, except there's Bruce Willis and Cole Hauser instead of Neeson, which is even more disappointing given they're both great actors and this is a huge waste of their talents.
The browser storyline would have been interesting if the script wasn't so lazy.. and it's only an hour and a half, when if they'd made it two hours, they could have actually done more with it..
Even an hour in, her family basically hasn't even started looking for her yet.. so there's not even any real action for more than half the film.
Incredibly boring, disappointing and lazy.. but I think the worst thing is the super cheesy "American hero" music.
Run Rabbit Run (2023)
Definitely doesn't deserve the very low scores others gve it
Yeah, it's an Australian film, with a significantly lower budget than anything Hollywood has to offer but the suggestion that it's not a real horror movie is both ignorant and shows the excessive level of gore and action needed for a brainless and desensitised generation.
It was more a thriller horror; but one that followed the likes of a more old school style.. slow build up (which a lot of people now don't have the patience to sit through), eeriness with some mild violence (rather than excessive blood and guts, just for the sake of it), and again, an obviously lower budget, though I felt the setting and style made it more creepy than expensive, clean film work.
Anyone who gave this a lot score clearly doesn't actually appreciate film.. they just need something loud and chaotic, to distract them from their boring reality.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Should be able to give 0 stars
Thought the last one was bad, but this would have to be the most boring horror movie of all time..
Somehow basically nothing happens the entire film, and the murder scenes are both excessive yet not even remotely scary at the same time..
Pathetically unrealistic attempts at shock value that would barely frighten a child.
And yet again, there's essentially no real storyline, except that randomly there's a second killer now, for absolutely no reason, and it doesn't bring anything at all to the film - in fact, it actually makes it more boring..
Michael doesn't even do anything for more than half the film, and when he does, he's barely present anyway..
And the worst thing is that I was looking forward to this finally being the last Halloween (which you'd think given the title) but as it turns out, it won't be.. it's just the last one Blumhouse is making.. so it's been even more for nothing.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Absolutely terrible
I honestly have no idea how there's such a cult following for these films when they're almost all absolutely terrible.
The acting was just awful, which is really disappointing considering theres a few decent actors in this film.
The script has been empty for decades.
I don't remember if narration's been used before, or if it was this much, but it just goes on and on in this film and it's nothing but boring and time wasting.
And the typical "huge group of people against one bad guy but they attack him one at a time and all die" thing is soooo boring and overdone - and used more than once in this film.. 🙄
Honestly, I'm kind of looking forward to watching the last one, so I can celebrate that the franchise is finally over (unless someone else reboots it, which wouldn't surprise me)!
Jury Duty (2023)
Best show I've seen in years
This is legitimately one of the best shows I've ever seen!
It's hilarious and really well structured and played out.
Obviously the overall show is scripted but seems like there's a lot of improvising going on as well, and it's done brilliantly.
I've been a fan of James Marsden's for years but this is the best role he's ever done in my opinion.
And there's a number of other faces I recognise from various small roles in other things that I also appreciate but I am glad the target obviously didn't recognise them.
It won't be for everyone for sure, but I couldn't recommend this show more highly.
And Just Like That...: Hello It's Me (2021)
This episode was terrible
I get that Kim didn't want to come back, but it was such a poor attempt at explaining why she wasn't around..
And Charlotte is the same vapid, spoiled brat as always, judging Miranda for having grey hair, trying to force her child to wear a dress because she wants them all to be in floral, and manipulating Carrie into going to the recital..
Actually, when I think about it they're all vapid.
Carrie's been writing about sex for decades yet she gets flustered when having to simply say "yes" to does she masturbate? Is she actually an adult? And it's not like she's a boomer or older generation who didn't speak of such things..
And Miranda at college.. Jesus these rich white women
Also, I don't understand why Carrie didn't even attempt to call for an ambulance when she found Big on the floor.. she just lay there in the floor while her husband died in front of her.. how dumb is she?
Ready or Not (2019)
Interesting idea but doesn't make sense
Interesting story idea but it doesn't make any sense..
If the new partners are sacrificed on their wedding night, how would the family line ever continue.. who are they having children with if they kill their spouses before they can even consummate the marriage?
And the ending.. I get that it's comedic, but there's an entire family and staff all murdered, torn apart and exploded and one single person remaining alive and the authorities just ask her what happened?
Obviously she'd be the core suspect.. ridiculous.
Also, isn't this the second or third "hunting humans" film in the space of a couple years?
28 Days Haunted (2022)
What an absolute load
Honestly, this was one of the worst supernatural shows I've seen..
I'd love to believe that spirits exist and that some people legitimately have the gift of connecting with them, but shows like this make it so hard.
Not only was half the information coming from all 3 teams basically the same, I'd predicted by the second episode that the father had impregnated his own daughter at the Dry Goods location, and somehow it took a "psychic" over 2 weeks to even suspect it - and I'd never heard of any of these stories until this show.
Add to that, whoever the woman was Brandy spoke to who appeared to be familiar with the family's story, also didn't seem to know as much as she claimed given she stated everyone in the family portrait was killed, yet a quick Google search tells you that one of the children wasn't there at the time and was the one who came home later to find all the bodies including their fathers'.
I usually really enjoy these types of shows, but I legitimately had to force myself to finish these, and was actually starting to feel really irritated in the last episode due to how fake everything seemed.
Even the supposed experts who were 'hosting' the series - one being the Warrens' son in law - made huge claims that were in no way "proven" by any of the footage taken.. and so many contradictory statements and holes in their story.. all it did was further suggest the Warrens and their family were the very scam artists that's been shown in various ways.
My favourite one was suggesting that Ed and Lorraine didn't have time to prove their 28 day theory, even though Ed lived to 79 and Lorraine to 92.. but yeah.. not enough time LOL
Absolute waste of 2 1/2 hours watching this.
Old (2021)
Interesting premise, terrible film
I don't know what's happened to M. Night Shyamalan's films, but this was just awful.
The premise was great, but there was just no workable execution.
Terrible acting, abrupt scene cutting, even the camera work was bad.. and multiple attempted scare / jump scenes that had the shot move with it, but way too slowly, so you only saw half of what happened - and certain scenes where the camera moves left then right then left, but only by a few inches, as if the cameraman was trying to get the positioning right but took multiple attempts, and they didn't bother reshooting that part.
Honestly, wish I hadn't bothered.
Devil in Ohio (2022)
Just awful
I normally live for these types of shows.
Thriller / horror / cult genre is one of my favourites, but this was none of these even though it claimed to be all of them.
The storyline had so much potential but it just failed miserably on execution.
The acting was terrible on almost all fronts, way too many jump-scare scenes that were almost always fake outs.
Subpar creepy music that was obviously attempting to give the show a creepier feel except every relevant scene was too drawn out and ended up with the same failings of nothing actually happening.
Heaps of plot holes, and an absolutely terrible (and hugely predictable) ending.
Also, I have to wonder who the youngest actress is related to, because there's no other way she would have been allowed to sing so many times over the series otherwise - literally had to mute the TV the last couple times, as her singing got worse towards the end and I couldn't stand it anymore.
Bloodhound (2020)
I don't understand the 1 star reviews
It's not an A grade movie by any means, but it certainly doesn't pretend to be.
I do have to wonder if there's multiple low reviews because the ending wasn't wrapped up in a neat little package, and a lot of people can't cope without a happy or closed ending.. and I get it, it was a bit frustrating to not truly know what happened, and the very end was a little confusing as it went from fiction to not entirely fiction to breaking the 4th wall and accusing a UK politician of being involved in child sex trafficking, and abruptly cutting..
But the film itself overall was an interestingly written story with multiple twists, and for once, no actual gore (except the ending where someone is shot point blank in the head out of nowhere), but otherwise, it's the cleanest crime story I've seen in decades.
My Amityville Horror (2012)
So many inconsistencies in the story
Obviously I don't automatically assume the storey is true in its entirety, but I went in thinking I might come out believing something was legit, but the story changes as it goes.. first he says left the family around 15/16, then it was 13 1/2; then he says his fingers were crushed so badly by the window they were "skin on skin" and were magically healed out of nowhere after a spirit came into the room and sat down, but then he's also detailing how he still has some damage (so the spirit can heal broken skin and "5x their normal size" swelling in seconds but not a crooked knuckle..?)
Also, Lorraine Warren claims to have wood from the actual cross Jesus Christ's was crucified on, but no explanation as to where she got it, whether it's actually been analysed and dated; and, if it has, how on earth it's in her possession instead of in a religious museum.
Also, why tf does Danny get so angry when 2 doco crew members admit they're agnostic?
I'm certainly not saying he didn't deal with trauma as a child - it's been widely discussed for a Lomb time that George Lutz was an abusive a**hole, but it seems far more likely that he also has some mental health problems and was convinced (likely by George) as a child that supernatural occurrences were going on in that house, and that mixed with physical and psychological abuse (which he admits started well before moving into Amityville) caused severe trauma and possibly delusional or somewhat 'planted' memories that happened so young, he wasn't actually able to distinguish between fact and fiction after a period of time, and the impact of the trauma has caused it to stick with him all these decades.
All that said, I still found it an interesting watch.. but I viewed it as more of a documentary about trauma than anything cos it's a really sad, horrific story, but not in any way due to what he says it is.
Girl Followed (2017)
That escalated quickly 😏
Terrible script, terrible acting.. just terrible..
Just don't lol.
Taking Lives (2004)
Don't expect too much
Great story but unfortunately the execution didn't live up to the potential, and was actually a pretty boring watch overall.
Predictable ending from basically the beginning; and very typical of it's era, starts with a smart, independent female character who ends up looking the stereotypically sexist 'emotional and weak' thanks to not actually being as smart as we thought (can't go into more detail without spoilers) 🙄
In the Tall Grass (2019)
Pretty awful to be honest..
Really not much else to say.. found it quite boring to watch on the whole, but based on past experiences with adaptations of Stephen King novels, I shouldn't have been surprised.
I'm just glad James Marsden wasn't available for this, as I think it would have been a career mistake
The Call (2013)
Overall not bad but what kind of ending was that?!
What kind of ending is that for a serial killer film?
I get the concept of taking the power back but he's obviously killed a lot of young girls, and now their deaths will technically go unsolved and their families will never have closure about what happened to their daughters or why.. seems like kind of narcissistic decision to leave him there - at least kill the guy in 'self defence' and let all the dead girls rest.. just didn't work for me..
And how did Jordan randomly find the trapdoor when the cops couldn't? That was a bit far fetched.
Otherwise, I thought the film was reasonable overall - a lot of twists and turns that kept you watching.
Changeland (2019)
Seems like the guys wanted a $$$ trip to Thailand
Was a beautiful film as far as the scenery goes, and shows just how sacred, gorgeous, and amazing Thailand is, but the story was severely lacking and so much of the film was literally minutes at a time of just scenery, so it kind of came across like the guys just wanted a super expensive trip to Thailand.
Sweetbitter: The Pork Special (2019)
Unforgivable S02E01
I thoroughly enjoyed seasons 1 and was super excited for season two.. until less than 4 minutes into s02e01 I was - without any warning whatsoever - forced to watch the brutal murder of a pig.
Had I had a warning before hand, I might have still watched the episode, but skipped through that scene with the sound off; but now that I have the sight of a pig being barely stunned by a stun gun, and then, still live and able to feel, have its belly sliced open and heard its squeal of shock and no pain, I can't unseen it, and thanks to my PTSD, I'll be reseeing it for years, every time something triggers a similar thought.
I now won't be watching any of Season 2, and I'll no longer be recommending the show to anyone.
Shame on the people who allowed this, and shame on the industry for not having better standards, by including violence against animals on film to have a warning..
Equilibrium (2002)
Great premise with unforgivable plot holes
Firstly, if the purpose of dosing was to eliminate emotions like hatred, anger and rage; why were there so many clerics and other governing members who overreacted with anger to many situations? Not to mention the patronising and scheming against Preston (Christian Bale) that Brandt (Taye Diggs) delighted in for half the film.
Secondly, if the dosing was designed to remove the human element from humans - that is, emotion - then why did everyone not behave like empty robots? Smiling constantly throughout the film, clearly characters are having sex with their partners given there were children, amongst other behavioural displays of emotion.
Thirdly, where did all the dogs come from if they're supposed to get destroyed on sight? Don't tell me they were all random strays when the one Preston kept was clearly a purebred Burnese Mountain pup.
And of course the dog conveniently reappeared at the end in a poor attempt to quash the "where did the dog go" question, except the dog couldn't possibly have been living with Preston and his children the whole time, given he didn't find out his kids were feeling until right near the end.. so it would have been breaking the law to have it there.
The film had a great premise and much of it was interesting to watch, but those plot holes made it difficult to fully stay in the film and thoroughly enjoy the concept.
Extraordinary People: The Woman with 7 Personalities (2004)
Great insight into how medical professionals consistently let us down.
This is a fairly old documentary (2004) granted, but it's a great insight into what we've had to put to with - and what many people still put up with - from poorly educated medical professionals, and back then, under evolved science.
We now know (in 2019) from brain scans, that people cannot just "act" like a child, and have it result in the same significant changes that happen to someone with DID who shifts alters.
The main outcome of this documentary is to show the difficulty these people go through, and hopefully now, just how much we've progressed with our mental health research over the past 15 years.
Malevolent (2018)
Just an excuse for torturous violence
Could have been a great film with a storyline like this one - unfortunately it was just another excuse for some sick, immature filmmaking student type to play out his grotesque fantasies.
I'm sure plenty of people just like him will get off to it for the same reason, but for the rest of us, it's mostly just a waste of time, what could have been a great storyline, and probably nothing but low budget horror flicks in these actors futures, like almost all the rest.
Showgirls (1995)
Truly terrible film
Ultimately worse storyline than a porno, with most of the acting being at the same standard..
Dancing is pretty awful too..
There's really nothing that makes this film worth watching except the expected - Liz Berkeley doing a completely naked lap dance.. and being able to name it when someone asks me what the worst film I've seen is..