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Urban Myths: The Sex Pistols Vs. Bill Grundy (2018)
Lively version of a notorious TV moment
For 2024, imagine the Sex Pistols going on The One Show to eff and jeff their way through a few TV minutes and, if you were young then, into legend.
It's a well-acted 25 minutes from a solid cast that captures all the major elements you'll need, and many minor ones that colour in the TV world well. It was good to see the broader brush strokes of the story being brought to life. And dear old Bill had his choices and tragically, for his career, decided to say what he said.
(I find it comical that another review here claims to know the inside story but writes it in the sniffy tones of an outraged 70's Mary Whitehouse type. It just forgot to say that they were so offended they kicked in their TV screen then sent ITV the bill...)
It's Me, Sugar (2018)
Good short that hits the right tone
This is a very affectionate dramatisation of a documented event: that Marilyn Monroe needed a lot of takes for a scene in 'Some Like It Hot' (1959).
It's mildly sends up the event without ever mocking Marilyn or looking down upon her. All the characters are pulled a little larger than life but the real ones were pretty large to start with. It clearly likes and sympathises with Marilyn, shown in particular in a talk on her hard earlier life and also in a brief moment she has alone near the end.
Another very entertaining and enlightening Urban Myths episode that sends you on your way with a warm and kindly feeling towards Marilyn.
The Tuxedo (2002)
Hollywood doesn't know what to do with the brilliant Jackie Chan
You'd have thought Hollywood could have taken Jackie Chan's brilliant understanding of performance martial arts, action and comedic timing into terrific films. But it never seemed to get him and it shows in this film.
It's the pitifully weak central idea, ludicrous plot and weak dialogue that take a great cast of actors (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Peter Stormare) and wastes them in idiotic plotlines. JLH's characters is put through a series of tired old knob-joke style lines that show the writers had run out of ideas. Which is a tragedy with all the skills they had on offer and the cast can't be blamed for that, apart from for signing up maybe. They should have just run instead of taking the money first.
Jackie Chan seems to get pushed into the second support role, presumably because Hollywood doesn't think he's leading man material. They just don't seem to know what to put him in there.
Dad's Army (2016)
A film for 2016, brilliantly not trying to be a 1970's TV sitcom
This film was great fun, with a very solid cast all pulling out a very good performance and a fun interpretation of their characters, old and new. I particularly liked Toby Jones, Daniel Mays and Michael Gambon but didn't see a dud in there.
The comedy isn't rapier-sharp but that's not what's called for. It's situation calls for gentle fun with a nice pace, which it does and maintains well. It's shot and edited well and pulls in a whole range of the town's characters. All the missing women are there, not just a token few extras with one funny line per scene to the men's twenty.
If you're watching it, expecting sort of a new episode of a very old TV show and it's very old format, you'll naturally not get that. And thank goodness - if you want that, watch one of the 80 old episodes, they haven't gone anywhere. They're something different and the film's not trying to replace anything, it's a new thing instead.
The 1968-1977 TV series started 23 years after the war ended. And there's 39 years from its final episode until this film. Comedy and audience expectations have changed hugely since the old TV series, which would be seen as very predictable and tired these days. The series is remembered best in nostalgia and for those who were there the first time around, as I was. I'm sure there'll be a few who say it's an immortal classic, their young children love it etc. In truth, it was great fun in its time but it's long past its prime and very much replaced by newer things. I'm sure the series makers would see it like that, too. If alive and commissioned today for a brand new series, they wouldn't try and invent that same Dad's Army formula at all. Life moves on. And the very old Dad's Army is still wonderful for those who want it to be.
And nearly all of us are spared the superfans' anguish about the characterisation/setting inconsistencies, like "Mrs Wilson shown - how dare they!", "Walker wouldn't stir his tea clockwise", "X not invented til 1946!" etc. It really is just a comedy film, not a documentary. And many things from the TV show have been fixed: sets don't wobble, sound and lighting are vastly improved etc.
So enjoy a new interpretation of an idea from long ago, inspired by a war from the past. And take it for what it was in 2016, without feeling pulled back by a truly great TV show but one from long ago.
St. Trinian's (2007)
Brilliant fun brought bang up to date
This film is spectacularly good fun, it really is.
There's far more depth to the script and storyline than they could have 'got away with'. There's not a filler scene in the whole thing, from start to finish. It's also beautifully and imaginatively directed, which stands out.
The dialogue's great, which feeds the really excellent cast so well. It's a generous script that gives its broad cast plenty of good moments each. It doesn't patronise its intended child audience, nor painfully try to get 'down with' them. It's full of their ideas of a great time, as well as some hilarious dodgier ideas on it.
I watched this film with no sentimentality to the past ones of half a century, which are not some sort of reference point or gold standard. They were fine in their day but that was 53 years before the 2007 one, over half a century. Kids have changed massively in that time. I wouldn't expect or want a film like the 1954 one, the same as the 1954 filmmakers didn't try to make a film like something from 1901.
I rewatched it in 2022 after the first viewings in 2013 and laughed and enjoyed it just as much. If you want a brilliant 105 minutes for kids then press Play.
Hollington Drive (2021)
Great TV drama (despite weird reviews to the contrary)
I watched all four episodes of this series, twice now. Once on my own, the second with others.
The story is strong, the acting across the cast excellent and the programme well directed. I enjoyed watching it and I've watched a lot of these domestic crime dramas, as there's a lot of them on the telly these last few decades.
There's a couple of gaps in the plot. There's dozens of non-gaps, of solid and logical storytelling so that's a fairly normal ratio.
I don't get the many negative reviews here but not everyone likes the same stuff so that happens. The pacing and tension were great. The acting, with particular note to the child actors, was solid and top quality.
A good investment of three viewing hours.
Hitmen (2020)
Immensely likeable light and dark comedy
Fran and Jamie are professional hitmen, operating for a mysterious Mr Big they call Mr K. They operate from a van and roam to their jobs, occasionally crossing paths with another crew on the payroll.
Before watching, this programme struck me as an odd premise or, even worse, trying to stand out just by being different - having a wacky premise. That's not the case at all and I was really pleased I gave it a chance. It pulled me warmly in from the first episode. Being honest, two episodes are a bit flat in parts but the sparkle in the majority easily gave it a high average mark. It's genuinely good fun with light abandon. That makes the occasional darker moments even more of a pleasure.
I'm writing this when just the six episodes of series one were available. For all I know, they're the only ones there'll be but I sincerely hope more will arrive.
The Loch (2017)
Gripping, exciting and strong story
This series starts of strong, continues strong and finishes strong. The cast are very good and the story delivers well on what it sets up and develops. The setting and scenery are fabulous. They're well-deployed and serve as part of the whole.
If there's one negative, it's the irritating attitude of the headstrong daughter whose parents prefer to sigh at rather than put straight for the good of all. However, many scriptwriters like to write slightly one-dimensional teenagers and she serves as the only one like it.
Comparisons with other series are a bit silly as it's part of a genre. It stands very well on its own two feet.
Fantastic Voyage (1966)
Great in its day, painfully slow and dated now
I watched this as a kid in the 1970's and thought it was impressive and amazing, a real one-of-its-kind. The effects were mesmerising, such as the trip through the heart, the ear and the attack on the sub' by the body defence mechanisms.
I tried rewatching it yesterday and found it painful. It's so slow...so slow. The miniature effects are clearly miniatures and the sub' attack culminates in an attack by bubble bath. I'll never try to watch it again and today's children were a mixture of bored and amused by the obvious effects.
It's not the film's fault, not remotely. It did its best over half a century ago and told a story that must have looked impressive in its day. But the film also never promised to last forever and naturally it hasn't. It's OK if it falls by the wayside, despite my original fond memories of it.
Back to the Future Part II (1989)
Dreadful milking of such a great first film
BTTF Part II continues the story. Well, to be exact it lifts great lines and moments from the wonderful first film and gets the same characters to trot them out again. This makes the first film's characters seem shallow and one-dimensional. Biff has only six or something retorts, which he passes onto his grandchild who also trots them out. And so forth...and so fifth...and so sixth...and so twelth...
None of the imagination and spark that lit up the first film is present here. It feels like the filmmakers thought we liked choc ices so they bought us...more choc ices. Fifteen of them. The same one.
One to avoid. I've seen the first so, so many times. I've grimaced through the second twice.
Scarborough (2019)
A great small show
This is a wonderful series full of well-drawn and fresh characters set in a small-size situation. It's calmness to not be grand or go for set-piece gags sets it apart from many similar-looking sitcoms. Expect an easy-paced show with an easy mood as the characters push through some tough problems. The cast are great and give it backbone without any trying to grab the limelight.
As it happens, I watched this series during the Covid-19 lock-down. I'd have loved it anyway but here it was a much-needed dose of glorious outdoor shots and open space.
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Mission Woo-pooh
It's hard to be complimentary about this film. Minus points are the excessive-to-pointless action, continual slow-motion wire somersaults and slow-motion bullet spraying.
Between that, there's plenty of set pieces like the tower and rock climbing but nothing much. The story is a clearly defined and implausible drag.
Anthony Hopkins turns up to play...Anthony Hopkins. Dougray Scott is as fine as an actor gets when knowingly taking on a load of old cobblers to try and forge a Hollywood career.
The one saving grace is a fine performance from Thandie Newton.
Psycho III (1986)
Shockingly bad
The Norman Bates storyline is yet-again milked for the tiny remnants that it has left. The script is dreadful and has a flow of lines that would only seem good if a 14-year-old was having their first crack at writing. However, it is balanced out by the very weak acting. The synthesizer score might have seemed like a natural choice in 1986 but I imagine it was just cheap. And, boy, does it convey that.
The quality of this film is so low that all it can do is rely on camera angles, lines and flashbacks from the original rock that it started from. That looks like a very mined rock now.
Murder on the Blackpool Express (2017)
Brilliantly warm, fun and funny
This is a good, solid light comedy and drama in the mould of an Agatha Christie-style one-by-one murder mystery, as you'd guess from the title. It's not trying to be big, loud or cutting but has much more of an 'ITV special' feel too it.
I do like my strong, punchy comedies and I also do like my highly enjoyable comedies. This is the latter and its seasoned cast do a beautiful job of delivering a strong script liberally scattered with witticisms and gags. I had a lot of fun watching it.
Road House (1989)
The purpose is to gawp at Patrick Swaze
The filmmakers aimed this one squarely at their audience: women, do you like staring breathlessly at Patrick Swayze, and men, do you like watching Patrick Swayze win loads of bar fights? That's pretty clearly what was in their mind when they wrote it and made it.
If you're a yes, sit back and you'll get two hours of solid entertainment led by a story that's was as old as the 80s were when they wrote it. If you're a no, there's nothing at all in it besides Patrick so find something else to do.
Bear in mind that Patrick doesn't do anything wrong here - he does what he's paid to do, which is be sultry and 'the best', and he does it very, very well. No wonder he made the film and no wonder Patrick's fans, mostly female, were delighted with what they got given.
The Wicker Man (2006)
Worships the evil god of milking the cash-cow
A painful attitude of many big studios is that tried material is trusted material and prime for turning into a revenue stream...sorry, an exciting new take on a story the director/write/lead just loved as a kid.
Part of the reason the original worked was because the story isn't a horror story, it's a suspense story. Unfortunately, this film tries to use the modern horror style and it falls flat. Nicolas Cage delivers a Nicolas Cage performance but it's not suited to the pace of the story. The cast do their best with what they're given but the fault lies in the tone. Avoid, watch the original.
Ronnie O'Sullivan's American Hustle (2017)
OK-ish travelogue but Ronnie's not a presenter
Ronnie's snooker pedigree and record are both exemplary and he's nearly always a good interview in any tournament he's playing in. Normally when he's talking, it's about himself or the game of snooker and he's got plenty to say on both.
This programme is a travelogue, with each episode taking him to a different U.S. city that they can both explore and play pool in, the latter for the hustle of the title.
Something like half of the episode is Ronnie playing pool, with a matches in local clubs being compressed into a few minutes. That means you don't get much Ronnie-play to watch, with none of the drama of a normal match being allowed to build.
The rest of the episode is a tour of some highlights of the city, sometimes including things relevant to pool such as a factory or supplier. Unfortunately, Ronnie has little to say and when he does it's just fairly inane lad chitchat. His co-host does his best to keep the situation alive but sadly Ronnie ain't no presenter. At times, he comes across as bored with what's in front of him, like a 20-y.o. on holiday with his girlfriend, dutifully doing the sightseeing excursion while eyeing up the nearest pub.
Watch it if you're a thorough Ronnie fan or you're interested in the subject matter. Otherwise don't expect it to draw you in - Ronnie might as well not be there for large parts of it, bless him.
Grimsby (2016)
Predictable storyline uses gross to find surprises
The 'different worlds thrown together by threat from authority' is obviously as old as the hills but there can be different takes on it that keep it fresh and a pleasure to see.
This is the crass and obvious take on it with none of said ingenuity applied. The storyline then needs to be rescued from being entirely predictable and this done with shock-gags and 'gross out' gags, so-called because it's 144 times less funny than it could have been.
Mark Strong is impeccably brilliant, a true gem, and plenty of supporting actors deliver great cameo-sized moments.
There are also a handful of laugh out loud moments that I loved and made me pursue the film. But not many moments and this is 90 minutes.
Bugsy Malone (1976)
Could have been anything that it wanted to be...but so empty
I first saw this film at a showing in junior school and watched it again in my twenties and many times again since. I've always wanted it to be good and, to be honest, cut it so much slack to give it a chance.
It has so many good elements, with a cast really giving it their all, great tunes and a script full of fun ideas. The pedalled cars, the splurge guns...it's all there.
Unfortunately - lethally so, in my eyes - it suffers from sound that kills it absolutely stone dead. The echoey thinness that runs through so many scenes gives the film a terribly empty, vacant, almost lonely quality. It removes all atmosphere and musicals really do benefit from atmosphere.
I personally think that's a sound style that runs through a great many UK film recordings in the 70's. That's just part of the progression of technology and history is harmlessly littered with such things.
The decision to record the songs with adults singing is a logical enough one and probably quite pragmatic. But it makes the children seem like puppets singing along them and can look awfully fake.
If you watch this film and find that none of this is apparent to you or diminishes your enjoyment then I'm delighted for you. Unfortunately, I can't recommend it. For me, it's one of cinema's missed opportunities through no fault of the cast, scriptwriters or songwriters.
The Million Dollar Hotel (2000)
Really dreadful - wish it wasn't but...
There can be a moment early in a film that's failed to kick off in any direction, when you suddenly realise it's not going to get any better. Gloom sets in and the fingers begin to entertain the idea of watching maybe just a bit of it in Picture Search. Then a bit more, then a bit more...then, oh - we've got to the end credits.
I really did want to like The Million Dollar Hotel but I found slightly more than a million reasons not to. The characters are off-beat and odd but it feels like they're simply that way *to* be off-beat and weird. The cast, notably Gibson and Jojovitch, are capable of so much more than the film takes from them. Bono's story is muddled and although indecipherable ambiguity can work great in musical lyrics, it can get on your wick in cinema.
If you're determined to get it, buy the videotape version instead of the DVD because you can't tape over DVDs.
Never Say Never Again (1983)
A sorry entry in the Bond archives
As a lifelong Bond enthusiast, I saw this film at the cinema when it came out and so judged it from a contemporary view and again on a recent re-watching. It contains a few of the things that make a good Bond film and a lot more that make the weaker British films of the 70's/80's. Unfortunately, this gives the finished result a very unsatisfying tone.
The cast are fine in doing well what they're given to do. I wish Edward Fox wasn't given M to play as shouting and hollering at his most successful agent, as if cantankerousness alone indicates a high standard of leader. The music drags the mood down and that's an error of commissioning a composer, not of the composer.
The computer game sequence is a lame attempt to put the then-phenomenon of computer graphics into a serious context. But the audience isn't playing the game so they can't feel the player's drama. The list of such defects is too long.
I wanted this to be just a satisfactory film if it couldn't be a good film. A lot of Bond films are flawed, particularly Moore's of that era, so there's a lot of give and take available. This just need to take too much suspension of belief for me, not in the story but in the film- making. If you get a different experience from watching it, that's great but I don't expect you to.
Buster (1988)
Tries brightly but falls short
Despite good acting from a good cast, including Larry Lamb, Julie Walters and Phil Collins, the script is just too slow. The story is almost automatically interesting but a lot of points in it seem to be laboured and use multiple scenes to make the same point For example, 'June doesn't like Mexico' is gone over and over with no subtlety. It couldn't be done in fewer scenes because that part would look rushed, it just needed better- written scenes with more content than just the one point. The incidental music (not Phil's) doesn't really help, sounding like its trying to drum up atmosphere rather than help create it. All in all, it probably deserves a lot of the feeble 'greatest crime is that is got made' jibes thrown at it. Its still an interesting account of the robbery. But it comes from a time when British films started on recent period drama again and we got more and better films thrown our way, such as 'Scandal' and 'The Krays'. That led to 'Heartbeat' and the circle to the dark side truly was complete.
The Indian Doctor (2010)
Delightful...without being 'Delightful'
I'm not a daytime TV viewer but I block-recorded this from a Sky channel because the trailers of beautiful rural Wales, Sanjeev Bhaskar and BBC Drama looked intriguingly promising. It's certainly delivered. Sanjeev Bhaskar is always good, in my opinion, and coupled with an excellent and fabulous Ayesha Dharker and a very solid cast, they bring the stories to life nicely without getting clichéd or all Heartbeat. The simultaneous claustrophobia and freedom of their situation is clear but not overworked. There's no sixties tracks lazily ladled over every scene, possibly because the lovely Welsh village and breathtaking scenery are a far better way of creating the atmosphere. Period drama that doesn't feel like a period. Look out for the quality from Mali Harries and Naomi Everson and immerse yourself in a good story.
The Imitation Game (2014)
Strong film brings you into a cryptic world
It's not easy making a film about dry, academic subjects, even fairly lively avenues like cryptography with its feet firmly in deceit, concealment and puzzle.
Coming from a professional background touching on this stuff, I have to say it's easily the best I've seen that tackles Enigma, wartime code-breaking problems and Turing head-on. The cast are well cast and in fine form across the board. Headliners Cumberbatch and Knightley are reliably excellent but Matthew Goode and Mark Strong shone particularly brightly for me. Clever use of short war sequences amongst the studious battles on paper keep us grimly aware of what happens if they fail.
Of course there are factual errors, artistic licence with some story lines and so on: entertainment has to, to be entertaining and not a security video. But they do what a good true-life film should do: create the atmosphere to bring the audience into an unusual world and make them feel like Turing or the brave team for just a few hours. Enjoy stepping into it as I did.
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)
Expects jump-in-your-face moments to carry it
A party of schoolchildren are evacuated with a teacher and headmistress to a house on a small island surrounded by marsh. While there, they encounter spooky goings-on that culminate in a lot less than you'd hoped for when you bought the ticket.
Having seen The Woman In Black twice in the West End, most of my anticipation and suspense when this film started was because the stage play was a frightening masterpiece. However, the film just relies on dark passageways then in-your-face moments to carry it along. Someone slowly leaning near a window they're staring out of can be scary...because you know there'll be a sudden...JUMP as something is revealed or leaps out with a loud noise. Unfortunately, that's all they had in the tin so when that runs out there's little left.
It's not the fault of the cast, who seem to do all that's asked of them and do it as well as is asked of them. I can't help feeling the director's telling them to stop coming to him with inventive ideas and just play it simple because he's gonna do all that in the editing on with CGI. CGI and suspense are polar opposites, like synthesisers and punk rock. If only they'd told the filmmakers.
Not a good investment of your time, I'm afraid. No matter how brilliant a film or book idea is, it's always painful to see the last knockings of it as every last quid is sucked out. Not looking forward to 'The Woman In Black 3: Torture Of The Script'.