Change Your Image
NotWar
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Boy Meets Girl (2014)
Quoth the MTV Generation; "meh".
Spoiler free. Be aware that it is not a requirement to like a film just because of its subject matter. I went into this film thinking I'd be watching a fun rom-com that was especially different to the usual fare, in that the female lead was a trans character and a trans actress which is a brilliant step towards wider acceptance in film.
What I got instead was a fairly sub standard film that didn't entirely work - be it due to the average acting ability of some of the characters; the lacklustre attempt to explain large chunks of the story and why things were suddenly happening; the relatively boring plot or the cartoonishly evil additional characters who were there only to serve as recipients of zingers that I felt someone had written as responses to someone who had upset them in the past.
Of course if you're not looking for a coherent storyline and interesting fleshed out characters then I assume this will be the film for you. After all due to the large amount of 10 out of 10 rating which I find laughable - I get the impression this film could have been worse and people would have rated it top marks regardless due to the subject matter, which isn't right - just because something is trying to convey a positive message about a certain subject - doesn't mean it's automatically the greatest thing in the world that surpasses criticism. If I can find a way to post a spoiler review I can go into details about why this film fell flat for me.
Hamlet (2008)
Sorry, this is not art.
This is not art and neither is it a film. It is a white screen created by a moron who thinks he can do anything and simply call it art. I've seen some bad visual art in my time (on par with the 'Mirror, Father, Mirror' scene in Ghost World), but this isn't even trying to have a meaning.
Just sticking the name of a real work of art (be it a play, a religious text or a novel) on the title, calling it the artist's "vision" of it does not make it art if all it is is a coloured (or not coloured) screen. It is nothing but a shameless cash in on other, real works of art that have already got such a following that this hack thinks he can leech off them somehow.
Luckily it seems everyone is able to see this hack for what he truly is - a fraud.
10 Things I Hate About You (2009)
Pretty decent
I just caught a couple of episodes on Fiver, and I have to say this is a very funny and decent program. I am at a loss as to why it was canned (other than the fact that the episode lengths were much too short).
I really enjoyed what I have seen, and I will definitely be looking out for more or a DVD at least. The characters were true to their original counterparts, and it was nice to see one of the original actors returning to his role.
All the actors do great jobs at portraying their characters, really giving an insight into their lives.
Worth seeking this one out, even if it has been cancelled indefinitely.
Red Dwarf: Back to Earth (Part One) (2009)
Poor
I am a fan of Red Dwarf, and I have been for a very long time. Now, when I heard the plot of "Back to Earth", I initially laughed it off, thinking "oh those quirky people, it will probably be funny", but when I began to hear more about the one off show - I came to the horrible realisation that they were essentially ripping off the (better) film The League of Gentlemen Apocalypse.
They didn't disappoint.
The jokes were hardly funny in the slightest, other than a few mild laughs, but by the second part I wanted to cry. There is no need to plug the channel the program is being aired on, I already knew it existed, funnily enough considering I was watching it, and wishing I could invent a time machine to stop the atrocity which was unfolding before my eyes.
I noticed they managed to not have to bother explaining the plot holes because of the inevitable ending, and also managed to cover up their self gratification by said ending.
As for the ending all together, way to recycle an old episode idea.
I honestly don't think it is a good idea for them to even consider another series, if this is how it will end up.
I advise you buy the DVD now, before they re brand it with "Back to Earth" tacked on the end, thus forcing you to purchase it for an extortionate amount.
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Poor Americanised rubbish
Stop. Dancing. Please stop dancing every "cussing" time you find something great or something "cussing" good happens. Oh, and whilst you're at it - could you stop replacing blatant swear words with the word "cussing"? It wasn't funny the first time, and it was enough to make someone go crazy by the end of the "cussing" film.
Anyhow, on the whole I can see how Fantastic Mr. Fox will appeal to children - it's vaguely funny in places, very Americanised and had a lot of bright colours.
On the other hand, it's very Americanised and only vaguely funny. The bright colours were good, but I was suffering the ill effects of alcohol at the time of viewing.
Geaorge Clooney and Meryl Streep lead this ridiculous affair as Mr. and Mrs. Fox, and it appears that every effort has been made to create evil British villains who want to kill the good old American Mr/ Fox who only wishes to feed his family and live happily. By thieving.
Of course there is more of a plot to this version of the Roald Dahl tale - where Mrs. Fox gets pregnant, so Mr. Fox has to promise to get a real job, turning him into a normal white collar American (in what appears to be the British countryside).
Naturally it is required for a lengthy version of the story to have more of a plot, but I found this new plot a little tiresomely American, which should have been expected considering the total Americanisation of the animal characters.
Whilst I am sure this will be very popular with younger generations who are not versed in the ways of Roald Dahl and enjoy Americans work at ruining everything we British have ever created, I find it will not become one of those unforgettable children's classics that time will never forget.
Do your children a favour, and read them the book. It's less stupid, the characters haven't been ruined and the plus side is you don't gorge them with rubbish cinema food.
I also love the line "based on the beloved book by Roald Dahl". If it was so beloved, why did they ruin it?
Star Trek (2009)
Excellent
Firstly - I am a fan of Star Trek, and I have been for all my life, having grown up watching all the series' as they appeared on television over the years; so no crying please about how only a "true fan" could understand why this film was so awful and probably the reason for world hunger.
I don't fully understand the reviews crying about the fact that the story wasn't cannon, or the characters weren't in it at the right time (note: Chekov), and the set didn't look cheap enough...
What these people are failing to notice is the fact that ... it's an alternate universe - there WILL be differences in what happened, because that is what the entire plot revolves around - maybe, just maybe, Chekov joined Starfleet earlier than he would have in the proper time line, due to Nero messing everything up. Maybe.
Plus there is the fact that Chekov was added in because everyone knows his character, and having characters people like and know is another way to get people interested in the film.
The story wasn't cannon? Aww well that's because it is an alternate time line, like I said - it wouldn't be cannon because of this, therefore; shut up.
The set doesn't look cheap because ... it's not 1966 anymore. Deal with it. There comes a time when all fans have to accept the fact that the original set isn't going to be brought back, because it was cheap looking for a reason, and if a film with said cheap set was ever made in this day and age, it would be laughed out of the cinema.
On to the review.
Star Trek was possibly the best film I have seen this year, surpassing Wolverine Origins ten times over - the plot was an interesting take on the franchise, Zachary Quinto was absolutely brilliant as Spock, as were Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana as Kirk and Uhura. The addition of Lenoard Nemoy just made it that much better.
The set was incredibly "futuristic", thus giving the Enterprise a new, modern lease of life. The inclusion as Simon Pegg as Scotty was a brilliant choice because he brought his own charm to the role, as well as keeping to the norm people would expect.
I would enjoy another Star Trek film with the same characters and actors (maybe even a television series? Please? :) ), purely because this fulfilled my expectations and can only get better from here.
Definitely worth seeing.
Skellig (2009)
Brilliant
Unfortunately at present there isn't the function to give a rating for Skellig due to it's current status on IMDb, but if there was one I would rate it 10/10.
I saw Skellig on Sky One last night, and although it was a little on the long side I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish.
Tim Roth was brilliant as Skellig, and he captured the character brilliantly, keeping me interested throughout, which is a hard thing to do these days concerning the amount of rubbish on television at present.
If you missed the airing on Sky One, then definitely find a way to watch this - it was rather unfair for those who do not have Sky and are left with only Freeview, but if all the others watching it enjoyed it as much as myself, I am sure it will soon be out on DVD.
Definitely worth seeing whether you remember the book coming out like myself, or whether you're a young person looking for something compelling to watch.
Red Dwarf: Back to Earth (Part One) (2009)
Poor
I am a fan of Red Dwarf, and I have been for a very long time. Now, when I heard the plot of "Back to Earth", I initially laughed it off, thinking "oh those quirky people, it will probably be funny", but when I began to hear more about the one off show - I came to the horrible realisation that they were essentially ripping off the (better) film The League of Gentlemen Apocalypse.
They didn't disappoint.
The jokes were hardly funny in the slightest, other than a few mild laughs, but by the second part I wanted to cry. There is no need to plug the channel the program is being aired on, I already knew it existed, funnily enough considering I was watching it, and wishing I could invent a time machine to stop the atrocity which was unfolding before my eyes.
I noticed they managed to not have to bother explaining the plot holes because of the inevitable ending, and also managed to cover up their self gratification by said ending.
As for the ending all together, way to recycle an old episode idea.
I honestly don't think it is a good idea for them to even consider another series, if this is how it will end up.
I advise you buy the DVD now, before they re brand it with "Back to Earth" tacked on the end, thus forcing you to purchase it for an extortionate amount.
Village of the Damned (1960)
You're thinking of ... a brick wall
This is possibly one of my favourite films of all time. Although the film can't stand up to modern films with effects, it is still a favourite with many people for it's interesting story which doesn't need massive special effects, because it is scary without them.
Effects aren't needed with older films on par with The Vilalge of the Damned, because a good story is much better than masses of explosions or a science fiction film with loads of effects and not a decent plot in sight.
The trailer makes it seem a lot cheesier than it is, so I recommend actually seeing the film before judging it on it's age.
Twilight (2008)
Poor.
I only watched this film to save me reading the book, and to be perfectly honest I wish I hadn't bothered. The only good thing that came out of my watching was that I didn't pay to see it, and there would be no way I'd go to the cinema and pay £6 for this.
The acting was pretty poor, as were the character interactions and characters in general. It seemed to me the only characters who had more emotion to their acting were the non-"vampires", the parents, as opposed to the main characters - the "vampires", the students at the school and especially Bella herself, who played like a plank of wood with serious issues.
Beauty and the Beast (1987)
One of the best television programs of all time
Beauty and the Beast is my favourite television series - it is a brilliant retelling of the love story between Beauty and her Beast, with interesting twists and a fantastic modern take on the story, bringing it to modern 1980s America.
Ron Perlman stole the hearts of women everywhere with his portrayal of Vincent, and Linda Hamilton was brilliant playing his beauty Catherine, and together they created a bond between characters it is incredibly hard to create in a series, and many have failed to do so.
I recommend this to anyone, male or female, and it truly is the ultimate love story.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Incredibly, incredibly poor.
I played Alone in the Dark and it scared the living daylights out of me - so naturally when I got wind that there was a film out on DVD, I thought I would give it a go - of course, the warning signals started to go off when my sister got hold of a copy for an incredibly minimal amount.
Seriously, this is possibly the stupidest, most irrelevant film I have ever seen, next to those in the "Movie Movie" franchise, and that is saying something.
I believe that this is one of the many films I have experienced that I truly wish I could find the director, and demand he come up with a way to give me back the time I wasted on watching it, as well as some form of compensation.
Oh, and giving Tara Reid glasses doesn't make her look smarter, by the way.
Avoid like the plague.
Sakigake!! Kuromati Kôkô: The Movie (2005)
Worth seeing
This is a very funny live action version of an anime, and definitely worth watching. If you're into films that make little or no sense and are incredibly hilarious (such as Kung Pow: Enter the Fist), get a copy or watch it on the internet if it isn't available where you are.
There are some things which are lacking such as effects and staying true to the original anime/manga, but to be honest this makes absolutely no difference, because the crazy story makes up for it.
I recommend watching the series or reading the manga before seeing this, otherwise it may make even less sense than if you had read or seen either!
Tarzan & Jane (2002)
Not on par with the original, but enjoyable nonetheless
Although this was not exactly on par with the original (it is hard for it to compare, I saw this one on YouTube, and the original in '99 in the cinema), I don't believe it was as awful as people seem to think.
Albeit I find with many Disney films, there are a lot of things included that young children would not understand, such as Tantor's reference further on in the film to a "love triangle".
Not one to watch if you're looking for another fantastic "Tarzan" experience, but worth watching if you want a bit of a laugh.
I give it a 7/10 purely because it actually managed to make me crack a smile here and there, which is one huge feat for Disney these days with all their big CGI outings that fall flat the vast majority of the time.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Fetch me a fork, I need to end myself
The only reason I watched this piece of trash was because someone wanted to see it, so we acquired a "free" copy all thanks to the internet, and decided to see what it was like (starting with low expectations, of course).
My God. Honestly I've no idea why I even finished watching this film - maybe it was just to see how bad it could actually get, or maybe to see how many more product placements they could shove in utterly pointlessly.
I can understand a film like Wayne's World 2 putting in ACTUALLY FUNNY product placements which actually had a PURPOSE to the plot, but this? Seriously, why? The only thing good about this film is that it is incredibly short (like most Friedberg/Seltzer films).
Instead of wasting an hour of your life on this turd in a DVD case, do something more interesting like watching paint dry.
AVOID.
Disaster Movie (2008)
Uh-oh.
Oh dear. I honestly don't know what compelled me to see this film (not in the cinema, thank GOD) - possibly the fact that I have seen previous "Movie Movies" and I knew just what to expect.
Oh and they didn't disappoint.
Firstly, the "jokes" were utterly abysmal - I didn't laugh once during the course of this film, and seriously regretted even watching it. Second, how much did it actually cost to make this film? Because seriously, the effects were awful. Clearly they either cheaped out on everything, or had no money to begin with.
The only thing good about this film is the fact that it's unsurprisingly short, so you have enough time to beat your head into a wall repeatedly after having watched it.
DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM.
Epic Movie (2007)
No.
No.
I only saw this film because a friend bought it (unwittingly unaware that it was a turd in a DVD case), and I really want back that hour of my life. Seriously, why do these people make films? I can guarantee you that this film is NOT "from the guys who watch too many movies", its from "those tools who have seen too many TRAILERS".
The "jokes" are terrible, the acting sucks worse than a plank of wood with an angry face drawn on it, and guess what? Some of their jokes are even "lifted" from the films they are parodying (seriously).
I assure you, you aren't missing anything by not watching this film.
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Worth going to see
This film is just as I expected it to be and more. My boyfriend, our friend and I managed to get in for the previews yesterday in Cardiff, and it was definitely worth the wait and worth listening to the people talking loudly behind us.
Although a lot of people may think "not as good as Shaun of the Dead" or "they should have done "From Dusk Til Shaun" that is entirely untrue, the film seems like it had a bigger budget, but even so I think both films were just as good as one another, with Hot Fuzz proving Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are good in anything they do, such as Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and now Hot Fuzz.
When it is out tomorrow (16th) I definitely advise you to see it, and I am sure the vast majority will not be disappointed.