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House of the Dragon (2022)
Two words, What Even?
I was overly excited about watching this because of how much I really loved Game of Thrones. But I have never been so disappointed in myself for being so excited for something. I went from falling in love with so many characters in GoT to thinking that this was going to be great too, how stupid I was. I couldn't care less about anyone except Viscerys, I didn't like the "story" if you could call it that, I didn't like the characters and I definitely didn't like the lack of dragons.
I was so bored by House of The Dragons, it's honestly hard to believe that it has anything to do with Game of Thrones, it's like it's a poorly written Fan Fiction. Me and my fiance SUFFERED through to the end of this God awful soap opera and I have to say this, DON'T DO IT.
Any character that you may come to like turns out to be someone intolerable, and any good character that is likeable is barely seen then dies. Almost every one was so one dimensional, lacked any sort of passion, emotional intelligence or quirks. It was basically a 10 hour argument of who should sit on the spikey chair, this illegitimate bastard, or this other illegitimate bastard? Or maybe this other one that refuses to be King? Or perhaps the most annoying female character in the series?
Not only was it incredibly boring but it made no sense whatsoever. And just when you think to yourself, oh something exciting is about to happen, you're wrong, it's not.
I would not recommend this, not even for the die hard GoT fans, I think you'll be the most disappointed in it actually. At least, you should be at this dishonourable, deplorable heaping pile of garbage. Though to be fair, the dragons are beautiful and have more personality then a majority of the characters but you'll barely see them.
I wanted to feel bad, I really did. I cried floods of tears for Jorah, Benjen, Theon and the dragons in Game of Thrones and this? THIS? I felt nothing even for poor Viscerys, I did really like him but because it lacked such heart, I didn't even feel teary eyed.
We finally reached the final episode at which I exclaimed, how? As in how is there another episode but I held onto some hope that being the last episode there might be substance, might be something to be able to say it was worth it but it let me down like the rest of the episodes.
The only reason I gave this two stars was because dragons and Viscerys and a little bit for Laenor.
I genuinely don't know how anyone could have given this any more than two stars, and that's quite generous. I noticed that it was only listed as a drama and I can tell why, it lacked any of the substance that GoT had. At least there was laughs to be had, epic battles, decent enough sex and death scenes, the characters (mostly) had interesting and exciting story lines. But this..save a few, had the most boring and unrelatable characters in it and to be honest it feels like this was made in an attempt to make more money and nothing else. It lacked soul and lacked heart. Even with the "sombre" and "pensive" music as described by the subtitles, I felt so completely detached by the end.
Oh, there was that one good moment with the table and the lava like material being poured into it, that was pretty cool.
I don't know how there could possibly be a season two coming. How, just...how?.
The last ten minutes of the ENTIRE season, doesn't make up for how bored I was for the most part and when I wasn't bored it was because I checked out.
My fiance and I made this joke where every scene was glaring, looking, talking, glaring, talking, more glaring. And it's true, there's no decent fight, no war, no excitement and no questioning who was good and who was bad.
Seasons that come to an end usually have this cliff hanger moment, that moment where you're questioning what next? All I was thinking was surely it's a joke that there is another season because no matter how good it may be, this first season has set it up for no hope that it will get better.
Parting words. I really really dislike this boring, tedious nonsense.
Terror Trips (2021)
It was a disappointment
You could tell during this movie they were trying their best to make it a distant cousins to Hostel, setting it in the middle of nowhere in Eastern Europe, that same clique. It was trying it's best to be something it just wasn't, a decent horror movie.
Initially I watched this movie because of the cover of it, it looked somewhat interesting but this movie was a fail. I usually turn movies off when they start to bore me and I guess I hoped for an almost Last House On The Left revenge story but instead I got..unimpressed, disappointment and boredom. The end was just the epic downfall of the whole movie, difficult to say since it really wasn't that impressive.
The acting was awful, the way the characters interacted with one another was boring and forced and there wasn't anything about this movie that I actually liked. It was difficult to find even small good things about it, maybe the initial premise was good jumping off point but that was a dive straight into concrete.
I wouldn't recommend this movie for anyone who is a horror fan, you won't find any aspect of it that fits nicely in the horror genre except maybe being in a place you don't know in the middle of nowhere.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
A Noir-esque Gem
It's hard to tell whether I'm bias or not given my love for noir and neo noir styled movies but I really did enjoy this movie. With the exception of Dakota Johnson that has as much personality and presence as a brown paper bag, the rest of the cast was perfection. It's a rag tag group of curious people each with their own stories but at the same time somehow meld together for a movie that felt exciting, intriguing and it actually had the answers for the questions asked along the way.
This is a hotel where those trying to hide, uncover and destroy their secrets and their pasts. Of course though, nothing is that simple. Where there is smile there is fire as they always say and by the end of the movie that fire truly burns bright.
Jeff Bridges and Chris Hemsworth steal the show in this one.
Suicide for Beginners (2022)
Way Better Than Expected
"I didn't know IKEA made people" if that one line doesn't get your attention, nothing will. I didn't have high hopes for this movie, I read the synopsis and thought I'd give it a go and I was so glad I did. This movie isn't a horror by any means but it is a comedy and a really good comedy at that.
Our main character who has all the characteristics of a clichéd nerd, has an unrequited love for his friend. But one incident pushes him over the edge to lead him to want to end her life, this satire of him trying to write the perfect note leads him to situations unexpected but never the less humorous.
The last half hour of this movie is gold, honestly. It's so ridiculous but it's funny, and it's hard not to love the pizza guy. You need to watch this movie if you like satire and goofy comedies.
Pearl (2022)
Mia Goth Made This Movie What It Was
It would be difficult to imagine anyone else playing the role of Pearl. What was wonderful about this movie was the choice to make it like an older film, the font and the music for the opening credits was such a wonderful artistic choice to set up this movie. I love horror films, but so very few impress me. There's not many horror movies that stick with me, but Pearl definitely did stick with me.
It was physically impossible to look away as Pearl's life played out, that desperate need, that desire for more, the formation of something dark and weird was so entrancing.
There are moments you truly question if the scene is too much but then decide it only makes the movie what it is, for instance when Pearl has an intimate moment with a scarecrow..
Though it feels slow in moments, it's those slow moments that lead to it's own little masterpieces. But as a whole, Mia Goth, truly stole the show (a pun better understood after watching it.)
I implore anyone that watches this movie to watch through the ending credits because if nothing else it is the most impactful scene.
Moon Knight (2022)
One Of The Best Marvel Series There Is
I don't typically like too many superhero movies, I find them to follow the same clichéd lines, the same sort of main lead characters but Moon Knight is different on so many levels. The characters of Steven and Marc have truly left a permanent impact on me and I truly didn't expect a superhero television show to actually soothe a part of me that's been hurt for a long time. It's a strange thing to say but Moon Knight affected me in the best ways possible.
I loved the Ancient Egypt aspects, I loved the mental health issues Steven and Marc have to deal with, I love the progression of their stories and their relationship to one another. Despite truly despising the main "villain" (played by Ethan Hawke) in the series, in a way where it wasn't just 'that's what makes a true villain' situation, but genuinely hated even looking at his face, what makes up the rest of Moon Knight makes their triumphs even more rewarding.
It was also refreshing to see the relationship between Marc and Layla not like most couples in Marvel movies and television shows. It was a breath of fresh air and I am truly looking forward towards season 2. Highly recommended even for those not a fan of superhero films/television.
Nightmare Alley (2021)
Do Not Sleep On This Noir Masterpiece
The only reason I haven't given this movie a 10 out of 10 is because it can be slow in parts, alas a tad bit boring in those moments but if for nothing else any fan of Noir or Thriller movies NEED to watch this film. Cate Blanchett is superb, her role as a psychologist was, in the least to say, breath taking. The whole movie was haunting, thrilling, sad and just beautiful.
The casting choices were on point, the acting, directing, the script was excellent and it truly was a film that was difficult to turn away from. It is the ending though that you'll forever remember if you watch it and it will make you want to watch it again. I have always loved Noir/Neo-Noir films and this is certainly one of my favourites.
Scream (2022)
Dwight Deserved Better.
The title says it all but I'll leave that to that and let you watch this some what mediocre remake for yourself to see what I mean.
I grew up watching the Scream movies I was 12 when I saw the first movie, so weird to think that was 22 years ago. Damn. But as I digress, Scream was almost like my induction good but bad slasher flicks, needless to say I always had some nostalgia for the Scream movies so I was excited for this one. There was one problem, one big problem.
The killers, because of course there is two. It's Scream. Are idiots and predictable as f. I watched this with my other half and we picked out the killers within the first ten minutes and so there was no surprise nor shock when they were revealed.
What was annoying was the killers spent so much time blabbering on about the rules, details and logistics of horror movies, that they completely contradicted themselves with their actions.
What I did like about this movie was it kind of was upgraded in the deaths. They were a little more brutal and a little more intense.
What I was hoping for was something different for the end. I was hoping for a huge plot twist like Sidney was the killer or there was a group of killers, or even the new final girl but no they did the most boring cliched stuff possible.
I really wanted more for this movie. I enjoyed it still, I mean I wouldn't go out of my way to re-watch it or recommend it but it was okay.
Halloween Kills (2021)
I Needed Michael To Win This One
The Evil Is Here!
The best thing about this movie was the guy playing Dr Loomis' acting. My god it was the funniest thing I've seen and heard. THE EVIL IS HERE! It's worth watching just for his ridiculous performance.
What to say about Halloween Kills? Firstly it doesn't compare to the original and first Halloween, nothing does not ever will regardless of who it's directed by. John Carpenter will always be a genius and I have a lot of love for his movies. Shout out to John Carpenter's Vampires.
Now whilst this movie was nothing compared to the original. I wouldn't rave about it but it wasn't COMPLETE garbage either. I watched Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City just before this one so my judgement maybe a little clouded because ANYTHING compared to that piece of trash would be a masterpiece.
Michael definitely upped his brutality in this one. It was sort of something I missed in the original. I wished it had been a little more intense like this one was in the way of his killings. For that I commend it, though there was also times it was a little over the top.
I have a few questions, like why was that old couple flying a drone? Why was it necessary to include a ventriloquist dummy at all? Why was that guy singing and smoking weed? Why the f were people asking what happened when they live in Haddonfield on HALLOWEEN! WHAT THE F DO YOU THINK HAPPENED!! I found it funny that people kept asking what was happening, being stalked by, threatened and killed by Michael and they asked what was happening.
Now. The acting. They need to go back to school or something because JHC was it terrible. Everyone who wasn't Michael was so very awful. It was more comical than anything else, in that aspect I can understand why someone would say it was trash, but it was hilarious how bad it was.
I do appreciate the diversity in including a gay couple. That was a nice touch, as it should be in this day in age. But honestly did you really think it was a bright idea to buy and live in the Myers house? Were you legitimately thinking he wouldn't come back?
It was hard to keep up with what was happening and where and with who. I was lost on who some of the characters were for quite a long time. It was confusing to figure out who was who. Though that could also be because all I could focus on was how garbage the acting was, it might have been hard to concentrate enough on anything else but they also included an UNNECESSARY amount of minor and side characters.
Also apparently Michael Myers is into Art Installation with his displays of dead bodies. Very creative this time Mr Myers.
Laurie's delusion that she killed Michael was annoying as hell. I understand that she was enthusiastic about her life long mission was complete but she knew she couldn't kill Michael, she knew from all the other movies, and from her own little speech he wouldn't just die. I just wanted to reach in and slap her.
The movie has no real consistency. He's been shot, burned, stabbed etc so many times and they are saying hitting him with a baseball bat a couple of times knocks him out? How does that make any sense?
Now the angry mob in the hospital was just plain ridiculous. It was the worst place for a mob to form to start with then to try and attack someone that wasn't even tall enough to be Michael Myers...what a bunch of absolute morons. All those people after one innocent man in a hospital was actually quite infuriating to me. It just made me so mad to see that part of the movie and there was nothing funny about it like the rest of it.
The granddaughter screaming and her acting in general was just as annoying as Laurie and her delusional 'Michael's Dead' nonsense. They could have done with her not being any part of the movie actually.
Now what I did love about this movie was what they did with Michael himself. He became so much less of a human, he became as he'd always been called, The Boogeyman. They really did Michael justice in this movie. I enjoyed the ending so damn much. It wasn't a 'good' movie but the ending specifically made it enjoyable. I also watched it with my fiance and we shared a good laugh at the ridiculousness of the acting and inconsistencies so it was a lot more enjoyable for me then it would have been had I watched it alone.
Halloween (1978)
A slasher movie actually worth watching.
I saw Halloween a long time ago when I was just a kid but rewatched it again late last year and while I found it a little bit goofy and not at all scary I did really enjoy it.
Michael Myers is such an iconic character along with the actual Halloween movies themselves (except for 3 and H2O cause wtf were those movies) It's difficult to hate this movie, the first in the franchise.
I usually don't find horror movies all that scary and this is no exception but in saying that, it's worth watching for any fan of slasher flicks specifically from the 70's. I found Halloween more funny and goofy then anything but I would definitely watch it again.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
What a waste of nearly two hours..
I have seen some pretty bad films in my time but this had to be one of the WORST movies I've ever seen. It was a boring, terrible movie that was a mish mash of the Resident Evil games that literally made no sense. Not to mention how ridiculously stupid the characters were. They made Leon a clueless idiot, somehow it was all about Claire and then you had everyone asking what the f is that, what the f happened every two minutes.
The only thing I enjoyed about the movie was the nerd in the cell who actually was the smartest guy in it and the guy playing Leon was hot. I was so disappointed in this movie, I was bored the whole entire time and so mad how discombobulated and patch-worked it was. It was truly a waste of time. Please don't bother if you think it's going to be an excellent tribute to the beloved games.
I watched this with my fiance and both of us were pleading for it to be over...