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Pontypool (2008)
Kill is kiss.
Pontypool is great fun. Entirely relying on excellent acting it manages to be suspenseful without showing much. So much so, that it really feels fresh, proving a hundred times that you can do so much with great acting and good direction, and a minimum of SFX. I felt compelled to comment after reading some other critics about it not being a rightful "zombie" movie this, or a "virus" movie that. I didn't consider it being either, and it's exactly that what was wonderful. Just like an old classic Videodrome, the pretty good and weird One Point O, or a recent and less impressive Signal, just to name those three, it hints at a "signal" (here, a word in the English language) that makes something snap in a human brain. Contaminates it. It's an old idea, and works better for me as a metaphor of anything that we receive as a stimulus every single day. Be it subliminal messages (commercial/political/etc), religious brainwashing, open propaganda, or whatever that in the end makes you go out and want to kill your fellow humans. The famous "zombie virus" is just another way of entering for the intruder. Wasn't the original Zombies a social/cultural statement from Romero ? And this is why for me there is no exclusive zombie films that have any sort of codebook to go by, but on the contrary the zombie films are just a part of the bigger "mind/body intruder" scene where all of these fine efforts belong. And so, after having been force fed the Romero remakes of his own films (that rightly are classics but he should really have stopped there) because everybody wants to watch the same film every year, i'm always delighted when somebody proposes an evolution, a serious effort of retelling the same old story in a different light. And that is exactly what Pontypool does ; it's a zombie movie without being one, and hence has the courage to belong to the bigger and more anonymous picture. I just find it sad that in a genre that could provide for so much freedom for those that dare to try, the fans often seem to get their panties in a twist for their so cherished "conventions" that should not be crossed, and where everything should be classified under an obvious identification.
I say go Pontypool ! 7 out of 10 from me.
The Half Life of Timofey Berezin (2006)
The victory of the English language.
In 2008, this just doesn't cut it. A whole movie taking place in a foreign country, in this case in Russia, in which *everybody* are supposed to be Russians, and during the whole freaking film they're talking to each other in English, and this with a "russian" accent so thick it's at times hard to make out what the lines are. No, no, no. This is an insult in every imaginable level. In most Hollywood crap they at least have the oh-so-clever excuse to include an American hero in the mix with whom everybody thus has to communicate in English. But even then, and this in most of the movies, when amongst other fellow country-men, they speak in their respective language. In Europe they have the habit of dubbing the movies for those that wish to escape the subtitles, but it's up to the spectator to choose which version to see (or hear). Not so here. I was trying to figure out why they spoke English for a good 20 minutes into the film, telling myself that there has to be some clever reason for it, only to finally realize that it was purely out of stupidity, arrogance and probably for some unclear commercial reasoning. The problem is that after that nothing matters. This is not serious. In fact i'm thinking it's a hoax. At one point i was certain that it's a parody, a big joke for those who can get past the third grade pseudo-thriller that seemed to be playing. But even then, i didn't laugh enough for it to be a good one. No, for the most time i was just shaking my head in wonder and desolation while asking myself if i was not being laughed at by the film maker. I strongly advice against, this is just stupid. Everybody in the world do not need English speak...
Eden Log (2007)
Impressive.
A very impressive first feature. It has the shortcomings of it's qualities, but the overall feeling is that of being immersed in an alien landscape for a journey before regaining the planet earth again. It's obscure, not very clear of it's intentions, maybe even a little naive at moments, cold and detached most of the time, but it has the balls to be different. I must admit that i was only a few times during the film awed by what i witnessed, but constantly admiring the fact that it didn't compromise the fact of not searching for the approbation of the largest number. Whatever my feelings at the end, and i'm still not quite sure, i did feel intrigued during the whole duration, and i'm glad that films like this exist and get to be made. The other commenter's have labeled this as "arty", but i'd rather say it has a style and sticks to it, for better or worse. Sure it's eye-candy, and as such doesn't hurt the viewing, but i wouldn't say it's style over substance, i really felt it like an uncompromising vision of of a first time director. It's no Dark City, but it's a pretty damn fine effort, and i'll be waiting for the next one from the director. The music was excellent as well, not really your typical movie score, and added to the immersion. And all this for a certainly meager budget...
All in all, i'd recommend it, a very serious effort, and for that it gets a 7 out of 10. I guess i did like it after all...
Smokin' Aces (2006)
Beware the hangover...
When i saw Narc, i made a mental note to make sure to check out the next film of Joe Carnahan. I had got Smokin' Aces lying around since sometime but had forgotten about it, what it was about and who had made it. And as i do often, i just popped it in without even looking at the informations available, telling myself that if it was there, it's because i had gotten it for a reason. All this to say i just watched it through without knowing it was the "next Carnahan film". It hurts even more since it could make Narc now seem like an accident...
All the reviews have given the plot, so there's no sense in repeating it, but i must repeat that it is a mess. The thing with stories as convoluted as this is that they better be bullet proof or otherwise it's just not worth it. If you can't keep it together and be awed by it even after a second time through, tone it down. Simplify. If you can't start a film without spending the 5 first minutes of it to explain everything that has happened which will lead to what will happen, simplify. The unpleasant thing is that here, you are first fooled by the amount of information given during the first minutes into thinking that this could be something intelligent, and after that it goes from excitement to deception up until the anti- climax that makes you regret the whole endeavor, like a bad date that you never really wanted to bring home for the night but just couldn't help yourself after a surreal evening of drinking, even though all the while *you just knew* that you shouldn't.
I already felt cheated during the film : the Mad Max-Nazi trio that go around half-naked killing everybody and carrying chainsaws and generators while invisible to everybody in the world, the Houdini/Hannibal crossover who just *loves* to torture and who's capable of making real-life-defying latex masks of his victims on the fly, a couple of girls that seem themselves surprised to get a contract like this, and a bunch of losers that were there just to fill in the gaps. Liotta and Reynolds do OK as FBI Agents but seem pretty sketchy. The time-span problem in the scenario has already been mentioned by many, it's like scenes are just suspended in time so as to be able to come back to them and not miss a thing whereas it is supposed to be happening all at once. And then there're the unnecessary fillings (scenes that go nowhere - dialog that doesn't mean anything : the kid, the rant at the reception, the dancing Nazis that nobody shoots at, the last shooting on the roof etc.). All this without mentioning some way too easy killings and other unlikely survivals. But hey, i like all kinds of movies, and the photography was nice and Alicia Keys was hot, and a few scenes just really flowed (i loved the build-up to the big shooting scene with Alicia). So, OK, after the initial deception, i was ready to be indulgent and just take what was there to be taken, even if it would not add up to too much. Entertain me. But if it was to be a mindless action-comedy, it sure would have needed some more spectacular action, not to mention the humor. So there i was, nearing the end, waiting for it to go through the roof in a massive confrontation between everybody still alive, let's have it in the real over-the-top fashion shall we... except that it was already over and what i just saw *was* the final confrontation, and it was now time to explain everything, to make "the end" as intelligent as the beginning wanted to let you believe. And boy, even if i was dreading to have guessed the most of it, i just couldn't believe it. And that's when it all fell face-down, from crippled to clinically dead, from mindless to idiotic, from entertainment to abuse. It was worse a cheat than the ever-famous "it was only a dream", in that it just doesn't work in any level. And like this would not be of enough insult against the spectator, the final act of Agent Messner makes his "friend's/partner's" sacrificial death totally useless as well. Everything loses ground. The explanation given just sinks the film further down the drain, works against it, and denies it the little amusement that it had left. Unless of course the point was that there's no point. Or that i took it way too seriously. Or not enough. Or that i just didn't "get" it..?
What i *did* get is that, in the end, it's not an action-comedy (not enough action nor comedy), nor it's a "noir" (not believable for a second), and it's not really cool (too air- headed and dumb) even though it has the photo and some cool moments, and to top it all i kind of felt insulted by it's cheap trickery to try and make me believe it was all of those at once. And this is when i saw the name of the Director in the closing credits. I won't go on any further, but needless to say i was shocked. I'll still give Carnahan a benefice of doubt (i really liked Narc) and will not tell you to avoid it at all cost, do have a look and make up your own mind. I've seen worse but i've seen a lot better as well, and am glad in a way that i discovered only in the end the name of Joe Carnahan because otherwise i think i would've been too sad to be able to finish it.
4 out of 10, but 2 of it is in loving memory of Narc and in hoping that the next one will get Carnahan back on track, i'm sure he's still capable of great things.
The Last Winter (2006)
Had everything going for it which makes it all the sadder...
... that the end ruins it all. It's not even the conclusion in itself, it's the execution of it. I mean why, why for heaven's sake is the cheapskate CGI used is way beyond my comprehension..? This movie had everything to make it a great one ; beautiful photography, excellent cast, no- nonsense dialogs, the mood, the music...everything stood as one, non-intrusive and a coherent whole. I liked it from the starting minutes, and it just got better and better. And then it decided to force-feed us the already clear underlying message with even more determination, just to make sure that everybody understood, just to drive it well home. Except that the best things are for the spectator to discover, and here we would have certainly not needed the supplementary (and cringe-worthy-cheesy) effort to explain it. You have 99% of the movie going strong, and it's the last 1% that blows it all off, that's maddening! 99% of the movie is low- key, bleak and where the FX is invisible and where you question the sanity of it all while clearly understanding the moral point, and then it goes over the top and spoils it with a whimsical overstatement and cheap CGI... I.just.don't.get.it. It's like someone else took over the direction for the last five minutes. Or maybe the dead of winter got to the film crew as well in the end. Mind you, if i seem passionate about this, it's because liked it so much that i'm angry about the lost opportunity for a *great film*. And the worst of it all is that i think that simply editing the end differently, and by that i mean cutting all the "explanatory" stuff out, could have sufficed. As it is, it just leaves me sad. I'd recommend it though, wholeheartedly, if for nothing else than the 99% of it, which hopefully promises us that extra 1% for the next time. 6 out of 10 for the potential. Would have been 8 out of 10 with the last 5 minutes cut off.
The Gymnast (2006)
A charming little film...
...this one. What came to my mind immediately was Loving Annabelle, as it has this same kind of mature mood and distanced dealing with the subject. We simply observe as the story unfolds, without taking sides, or having to confront any "moral" issues (or of course we are, but are not spoon-fed them). Sure, there were some difficult facts to face, and choices to make, but it just flowed. Basically it was just like any other love story, in any other life, with any other sexes.
I personally found the girls having a good chemistry, and had fun with them on their night outs. The only thing i could really pinpoint as a problem would be it just felt kind of...retained. Held back. It's not about the sex scenes (or those missing), but given that i felt the film at its liveliest during the moments they were together having a good time, it kind of contrasted with the rest. Lowkey is good, but it just never quite sizzled like Loving Annabelle, nor touched me quite as much.
This said, i heartily recommend it, it's by no means a waste of ones precious time, on the contrary...
7/10
Hostel: Part II (2007)
Now that was pretty bad...
An unnecessary re-hash of the original which was already bad. Plot-hole after plot-hole, improbable situations leading only to an anti-climax and an embarrassing ending, this turkey is cold meat instead of gushing hot blood it would have liked to pretend. I thought that the first one was not remarkable, but kind of wished that Mr Roth would've learned for the second. Instead, i just can't comprehend the need for this... "sequel"...
For starters, forget the scenario, there isn't one. I suppose that as the first one set the scene, we needn't embarrass ourselves with a convoluted script, right ? OK, let's assume so (but it doesn't make it right). So this time, let's just introduce the necessary brain-dead bunch, and get to the nasty parts as soon as possible, right ? OK, let's assume i could buy that (but this is already stretching it a bit too far). So we get to meet the girls, don't learn anything about them (except they're brain-dead alright), so let's get to the immoral stuff already, right ? Erm, no. In the quest for going even further, Mr Roth has crossed the line of ridicule, and as such the movie has nothing left ; no script, no characters worthy of existence, and no horror, let alone gore.
He however decides to show a bit more of the machinery of this secret society ; we see the clichéd-to-death mean faces of those who pull he strings, sunglasses and expensive suits obliged, sipping beverages on a town café's terrace, and receiving occasionally a decapitated head in a box delivered by a courier, just as the dude at the next table might get his soda. The most natural thing in the world you might say. Of course he lives in a manor, filled with everything of exquisite taste, art galore. Their men are everywhere. We get the feeling they control the town. In fact i got the impression that they might even control the whole country. OK so they're powerful. So how come all the convoluted plans to trap the girls ? Which, as they never work as planned (i imagine i should've felt for the girls at these moments, but was too amazed by these sloppy amateurs), makes me feel very embarrassed for an organization of that size. I mean, they control *everything*, and they had to empty a whole SPA of people in the middle of a day so that their men can come to capture the girl left alone and in a bathrobe, who, without any effort at all just jumps over the fence and escapes ? And this is just one example but everything is just as air-headed (i could just go on and on), suffice to say the whole film follows this same logic : no logic at all.
So the nasty stuff then ? What could be morally worse than torturing people and then killing them (so as to surpass the first film) ? Mr Roth must've thought that he would surely get there by killing a child for no reason (and another example of a scene which has no reason to exist, it's just there so as to shock, and even there it fails), and making someone bathe in blood (mixing sex and death in a literal sense). Wow. And that's that. The rest is some sloppy gore hacks that aren't even as good as in the first one. Mix into that the two ridiculous "clients" (the torturers), the ridiculous "twists" of the story, and a ridiculous ending, and you've got yourself a sorry-ass ridiculous wanna-be hardcore flop. But still not ridiculous enough to be actually funny, just lame.
You want some good fun, avoid this one and watch Planet Terror another time...
3* out of 10
Botched (2007)
Amazing stuff...
So, after i-don't-know-how-many years of being a reader of IMDb, after having seen this... film, i just felt compelled to comment for the first time. It's a sorry mess. And i mean really a mess. Not a single thing works in it, not one. I didn't feel interested at any time. Didn't smile for once. Didn't feel a thing, if it was not just amazed at the sheer stupidity of it all. It starts in France, where the french speak French, and moves to Russia where, in all logic, the Russian speak English between each other... with a Russian accent. It starts off with some jewelery robbery, and proceeds to a bad, bad slasher comedy. As i said, nothing works. Everybody's brain dead, the logic is thrown down the Russian drain, and it just drags on like the dummy rats that it showcases as the summum of special effects. What saddens me most is the evident budget that could have been used for someone with a minimum of talent to make a film worthy of existence. It was not even bad in a good way, just downright lame. The only worthy mention (with my appreciation that is) was the rather exotic looking Jaime Murray, with no more skin showed than her pretty face. That is to say how much i searched for an escape...
Amazing stuff. That it got made at all, that is.