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Hundreds of Beavers (2022)
Meh, refund please
This movie is a comedy apparently? I didn't find anything in it funny, but rather cringed hundreds of times. I wanted to leave the theatre during the first 30 mins. It only became somewhat ok after a while, only due to the gimmick the movie was going for. The animation in it is so poor that it's irritating and distracting. The acting is terrible and fourth wall breaking. I honestly would like my money back.
The movie is so thinly spread and drawn out that I was drifting off into thinking about other better movies set in the same setting, such as The Revenant, Hoodwinked, Jeremiah Johnson, etc.
There is a good movie in this somewhere, but the editing needs tightening up drastically, 30 mins shaved off, and the old man spitting at the bucket removed entirely.
Also there is no tension, arc or payoff. It's just random stuff all over the place, and the ending didn't feel satisfying, only "was that it?"
But with ice cream and popcorn to keep me occupied, the movie was bearable after the 30 mark, and it did have some creative shots in it.
Disappointed, as with the movie's positives, it could have been good.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Everything is mediocre by comparison
"Do not, my friends, become addicted to Fury Road. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!"
I missed seeing Fury Road in the cinema when it released, and instead saw it on a 15.6 inch laptop in 2015 with friends. We were all blown away by the movie, even on such a small screen.
Years later now in 2024 when Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga has ignited with a burning passion my desire to see Fury Road in the cinema, I desperately sought after a cinema that was playing it, signed up to BFI IMAX's newsletter, and when I got notified that it was playing at the BFI IMAX in London (Britain's biggest screen) one night in 3D, and the following night in Black and Chrome, I immediately booked tickets, and hitchhiked from south Cornwall all the way to London just to see Fury Road twice over that weekend. And oh my god was it worth it!! Quite possibly the best cinema movie of all time. It really hit the spot like no other movie has in the cinema. It is so bloody awesome, that topples even Lord of the Rings as far as an epic cinema experience. At the end of the Black and Chrome screening, when the credits hit, the audience erupted with cheers and applause.
I'm seeing it twice more in July at the Prince Charles Cinema in London, and anywhere else in Britain or the world that shows it, as I'm truly addicted to Fury Road in the cinema now. It really needs to be seen on a huge screen in a theatre, and truly everything else feels utterly mediocre by comparison.
I mean I loved Furiosa, it's the best cinema movie for a long time, but Fury Road annihilates it, and I seriously doubt we will ever again get a movie as epic, thrilling, awesome and amazing as Fury Road.
I'm now on a mission to see all Mad Max movies in the cinema, starting with the 1979 one at the Falmouth Poly.
I really hope we get another George Miller installment of Mad Max while he's around, I need it like I need water.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Inferior to Fury Road, but better than the rest
Fury Road is the greatest action movie ever made, and matching it would be nigh on impossible. Furiosa isn't as good as Fury Road, but it's certainly way better than everything else out this year. I enjoyed it more than Dune 2.
Furiosa is the last good movie we will have for a long time, as the rest of 2024 looks to be awful.
I have seen Furiosa three times already, and will be seeing it a fourth time in IMAX this weekend. I haven't felt this enjoyment of a new movie since, well, Fury Road. I also very much want at least one more Mad Max movie out of George Miller, i.e. Wastelands, or another one with Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron, or even Mel Gibson himself.
The world building, action, acting, and direction by George Miller in Furiosa is just sublime. I didn't feel bored for a second during each viewing, although I also didn't once feel the peak high that Fury Road gives me. Maybe that's largely to do with Fury Road's epic soundtrack, and that sadly Furiosa wasn't adorned with its own epic soundtrack.
It's definitely my favourite Chris Hemsworth movie, he absolutely kills it, and Anya Taylor Joy is phenomenal, as well as Praetoeian Jack's actor, and the young Furiosa actress.
It's not the high octane "inject this movie directly into my veins" powerhouse that is Fury Road, nor does it give me a similar feeling of catharsis, and yes it feels like it could have been better, especially given what George Miller showed us he's capable of with Fury Road, but after 3 viewings so far, I still don't feel bored of it.
Deadwood: Tell Him Something Pretty (2006)
Need at least one more season
I just now finished watching the entire series again, as I tend to do every few years. And as my years and experience pile on, I understand and appreciate the series with greater depth with each additional viewing.
The feeling the end of this episode gave me is of a throbbing phantom limb, like a hand that expects to have a full set of five digits, and longs for the ones missing, yet was never able to gain the complete five, and was left with just three.
Some may say they feel Season 3 was the weakest portion of the show as a whole, and maybe overall that may be true, because Season 3 does feel like Act 1 of a 3 act movie. Much in the way as the end of this episode shows Hearst leaving camp, with a cliff hanger and a lot of unfinished threads, you can imagine a similar dissatisfaction if Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings ended on Frodo & Sam leaving, with a similar cliff-hanger sense of anticipation for what is yet to come, and then finding out the trilogy had been cancelled.
The Deadwood movie that came out many years later by no means delivers any sense of fulfilment or satisfaction, and I would love it if the series were simply given a green light to deliver us another two seasons of 12 episodes per season, made in exactly the same way as the original.
Sadly these days, utter garbage media is perpetuated, while genuine gold continues to elude us entirely.
Napoleon (2023)
Very disappointing
Just now saw the movie in the cinema. Was looking forward to it a lot, with hopeful optimism for a good show, as I haven't been impressed by Ridley Scott's movies for many years, but hoped his skill with the battle scenes in Kingdom of Heaven would come out again for Napoleon.
The movie starts very slow, and I kept hoping it would pick up, but sadly it never does. The battles the movie does cover are glossed over so briefly and inaccurately that it started making me feel like walking out, but I resisted the urge and continued on.
The film spent much larger chunks of time on uninteresting court stuff rather than the epic battles we all hoped to see. I just wonder if Hollywood's ability to produce battle scenes like we were treated to in the 2000s is long depleted, as this movie just felt very very tired and half-assed. I wonder if this was all Ridley Scott's doing, or if the studios were intentionally sabotaging the potential of this movie, which given the extensive exciting historical material from which to draw about Napoleon and the many exhilarating battles we could have seen, the film just feels like a watery abridged documentary more than a movie.
Ideally, Napoleon would have been an epic trilogy on the scale of Lord of the Rings, but if it were to be one movie, I'd have expected 3 hours with 5 battles included. The ones the movie briefly skimmed over were Austerlitz, Borodino, Waterloo, and possibly others but I forget now already. There was no Battle of the Nations at Leipzig, nothing about Jena, Friedland, Wagram, Aspern, and nothing atall in the Iberian Peninsula. Napoleon's most famous general weren't in the movie atall. But they sure made certain to have screen time for the diversity hires, breaking the fourth wall again with Hollywood's modern attitude of "Look! We have black people in our movie about European!". Sure it was historically true that General Dumas was Creole, and there were black people involved with the army, but the movie chose to include that over just showing us the great battles and including Napoleon's Marshals, like the fabulously flamboyant cavalry commander Murat.
I rarely go to the movies these days, as nearly all modern movies are about ticking boxes rather than just making a good movie. I was saddened that by the end of this movie, I felt like I wanted my money back.
The amazing YouTube channel Epic History TV has produced exhilaratingly exciting video series about the Napoleonic wars, that never fail to get me pumped each time I watch them. Not once during Ridley Scott's Napoleon did I get that feeling.
4/10. Not the worst movie ever, but not worth paying money for either. Please do better going forward, Ridley.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Boring even with the intense music
Nolan has really fallen off in his ability to deliver compelling films.
Perhaps the last legitimately good film he made was Inception,
with his best being The Prestige, Memento and The Dark Knight.
Yes people like Interstellar, but even that strays into Shyamalan silliness territory, and also relies heavily on its overbearing booming soundtrack just like Oppenheimer.
Oppenheimer requires subtitles even for native English speakers, as most of the dialogue is so mumbled and inaudible without it, and even more-so with the intense music laid over the top of it, music which is used to try to keep the movie afloat due to it being so boring as it is.
The film isn't bad up until they explode the bomb, but everything after that point (over half of the runtime) had me falling asleep and needing to go back and listen to the dialogue multiple times.
The film is by far Nolan's most pompous and self-aggrandising, like Nolan has come to enjoy the smell of his own farts way too much. But also that the movie feels barely stitched together, and the overbearing non-stop intense music throughout is used as an attempted cure-all for the movie just being very boring, and without even one definitive story beat.
For more compelling movies about the bomb and WW2, watch Barefoot Gen, Dr. Strangelove, Grave of the Fireflies, Letters From Iwo Jima.
The Night Clerk (2020)
Why, Tye?
Mud was 13 years ago now, and we still haven't gotten a movie as good as that with Tye Sheridan in it since. I still think he should have been nominated for an Oscar for his acting in that.
Tye showed his great acting potential in Mud, as he made our hearts flutter and our eyes well up, and in an interview he gave about the movie around the time of its release, he said he wants to make good decisions regarding the movies he's in. But so far, they've all been mediocre or just plain bad. It's like he's been trapped in bad movies while we're all increasingly frustrated with how much he's being wasted. Maybe he should ask Matthew McConaughey for help in reinvigorating his career in a similar way to how Matthew did for himself, that started with Mud.
Get a different agent perhaps, or just get roles in movies with Joaquin Phoenix, Leo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, etc.
I want to see Tye in roles similar to Ben Foster in 3:10 to Yuma and Hell or High Water (visceral, angry, unstable, explosive, decisive), or Elijah Wood in LOTR (expressive, ranged).
It's just very sad how the last good movie Tye was in was in 2012, and the quality of his movies have been in the doldrums ever since.
Please give us the Tye Sheridan we are all craving and know is there, rather than continuing just gliding along in mediocrity.
Voyagers (2021)
Tye Sheridan is being wasted
Mud was 13 years ago now, and we still haven't gotten a movie as good as that with Tye Sheridan in it since. I still think he should have been nominated for an Oscar for his acting in that.
Tye showed his great acting potential in Mud, as he made our hearts flutter and our eyes well up, and in an interview he gave about the movie around the time of its release, he said he wants to make good decisions regarding the movies he's in. But so far, they've all been mediocre or just plain bad. It's like he's been trapped in bad movies while we're all increasingly frustrated with how much he's being wasted. Maybe he should ask Matthew McConaughey for help in reinvigorating his career in a similar way to how Matthew did for himself, that started with Mud.
Get a different agent perhaps, or just get roles in movies with Joaquin Phoenix, Leo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, etc.
I want to see Tye in roles similar to Ben Foster in 3:10 to Yuma and Hell or High Water (visceral, angry, unstable, explosive, decisive), or Elijah Wood in LOTR (expressive, ranged).
It's just very sad how the last good movie Tye was in was in 2012, and the quality of his movies have been in the doldrums ever since.
Please give us the Tye Sheridan we are all craving and know is there, rather than continuing just gliding along in mediocrity...
Mud (2012)
Beautiful
Just now re-watched this for the first time in years, forgot most of what happened so it was 95% fresh again, and oh boy what a beautiful movie it is.
Tye Sheridan as Ellis gives what is probably the best acting I've seen from any child actor, and has me now about to watch the rest of his movies to get more of his acting greatness. Matthew McConaughey is superb as well, and the rest of the cast fit together so nicely.
I love the setting and atmosphere of this movie, people living how they can in the literal mud, living on a boat on a muddy river, going to a muddy island, and meeting a guy there called Mud, and as the movie unfolds you get to realise one of its themes is how relationships and life in general can be muddy, not as clear cut as Ellis initially reckons, but soon realises through his own arc and experience how muddy things are that he hitherto had a naive innocent outlook about.
This movie is now one of my favourites. It had me tearing up multiple times, smiling, laughing, and really appreciating the theme of fatherhood in how Ellis and Neck found a kind of dad in Mud as he taught them things their own parents couldn't, and through their encounter with him became stronger in a way.
I then watched a youtube video called The Purity of Mud: The Best Film of the 2010s (A Video Essay), and agreed with everything said in it. The movie is about the many forms of love, and left my heart aching once the film ended. I can't recommend this movie enough.
Manchester by the Sea (2016)
Casey is the goat
Just now re-watched this movie. Very relatable indeed, having gone through multiple torturous losses myself. Casey again shows he's the best actor ever. I was never a fan of his brother, but Casey is just the GOAT. I need more, he's just so damn good. His way of showing how much pain he's in while trying so hard to bear it and keep going, and despite his efforts, it breaks him multiple times, and that line "I can't beat it" is very real indeed.
The pain he's going through is felt by the viewer so starkly, and builds and builds throughout the film until my eyes cloud over with the built up water.
Michelle Williams is also brilliant, as are the rest of the cast, in portraying how such losses knot you up and make it seem impossible to get back up from what you've lost. Time, it's said, it's the best healer, but by god does it seem never ending when you're in that torturous pain.
I'm certain a lot of people would be unable to live with themselves and the guilt they felt for such a stupid mistake as leaving a fire unattended in your family home, then seeing the love of your life and mother of your dead children go off with another guy and have another kid. Casey and Michelle really portrayed how gutturally unbearably painful that would be. I don't think I could bear such a situation, and Casey shows how very tough it is, not only to keep yourself together, but continue to function and be there for other people. It's certainly a film about how hard being a man can be.
It's a great movie, but my only gripe is that it didn't go further into the subject matter. I would have like another 30 mins of the film, and for the ending to not be so abrupt like that.
9/10, well worth watching, but be ready for pain.
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
What was the point?
30 minutes in, dragged like crazy, still nothing. 1 hour in, nothing. 90 minutes in... still nothing. And then the movie just ends.
What's the point of the movie? There's no tension, no act structure, no arcs, no reversals, just pointless silly unrealistic dialogue and stuff verging on Wes Anderson and M Night Shyamalan silliness.
I can't believe the same guy who made the brilliant In Bruges and Three Billboards made this garbage. I had to keep pausing it every 10 minutes coz of how dull it was. Yet somehow this got 9 Oscar nominations? By comparison, the excellent Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford which for me is a perfect 10/10 only got 2 Oscar nominations.
2 movies about the Aran (Inish) Islands worth a watch are The Secret of Roan Inish, and Song of the Sea.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
Perfect
I just now re-watched the film for the first time in years. It's perfect. My eyes are sobbing. It's the only movie I can recall that personifies a feeling of how America really was during that time.
Jesse was a last remnant of old America, when it was brave and fierce, unapologetic and bold. Despite him technically being a serial killer, Jesse was widely regarded with fondness amongst the American people, for various reasons. Normally, a man who killed a serial killer would be praised, but to snuff out Jesse was as if the very spirit of America itself was snuffed out.
The scene of his death is heart-wrenching, especially after the slow build up over the entire movie. Zee's cries of grief are as real and devastating as I've ever seen in a movie.
Also I'm now 34, the same age as Jesse when he died. I feel I understand his plight more now than ever.
I first saw it on its opening weekend in 2007 with my dad when I was 17. I still remember that viewing well, and still have the DVD.
The casting, acting, cinematography, direction, script, everything really, is utterly sublime. I consider this film in my Top 10 movies of all time, alongside LOTR. In many ways I think this film is even better than LOTR.
The soundtrack in particular is so deeply sad. It really accentuates the film as a whole, and the feeling it gives, like the snuffing out of the flame Jesse was carrying, the flame that remained since the civil war that he and so many who were there, and who admired him, were a part of. Snuffing out Jesse was like spitting on the very soul of America, despite his many murders. Jesse's betrayal and assassination was like a stab to the heart of so many who mourned for the death of part of the American soul that lived on with Jesse. No other film has captured that feeling so vividly as this. It's as if I am transported back to that time and feel it as if I am right there.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
Robert DeNiro please retire
DeNiro has only ever had one mode; scowl and grumble. For the past two decades he's made every movie he's in worse.
I wanted to like this movie, but he is like a fly in the ointment. Should have given his role to Steve Buscemi or Ed Harris.
DeNiro has only ever had one mode; scowl and grumble. For the past two decades he's made every movie he's in worse.
I wanted to like this movie, but he is like a fly in the ointment. Should have given his role to Steve Buscemi or Ed Harris.
DeNiro has only ever had one mode; scowl and grumble. For the past two decades he's made every movie he's in worse.
I wanted to like this movie, but he is like a fly in the ointment. Should have given his role to Steve Buscemi or Ed Harris.
Vikings: King of Kings (2020)
Pathetic
In the previous episode (also pathetic), Bjorn was dealt a mortal wound that nobody could have survived back then. It would require intensive care, antibiotics, and operations to save someone's life with such a wound, and even then the patient could die from internal infection such as bacteria from the sword that cut through his body, or bone marrow from cracked ribs seeping into the bloodstream. When Ragnar was mortally wounded in Season 1, it took him multiple episodes spanning months of rest and recovery to even be able to hobble walk. But somehow Bjorn is able to ride a horse and lift his sword just one episode after his wound.
Adult Bjorn's actor cannot act to save his life. He's possibly the worst actor in the entire show, but we're subjected to his stupid angry expressions every episode because that's all he can do. I felt nothing at his death, whereas in the first seasons I felt way more for the deaths of characters as the show gave them meaning back then. But since Ragnar's death, the show jolts around so much pointless schlock that I feel nothing other than disgust and amusement, and at how much Vikings has ruined of what it was in early seasons. None of the plots or character choices make any sense.
The only characters/actors in Vikings that had any magnetism and charisma are long gone by this episode. The rest are just annoying.
This episode seemed to be trying really hard to make me care about the death of Bjorn, having lots of characters "cry" (none of them can actually cry, they have to use glycerin each time). The awkward 4th wall breaking shot of Gunnhild talking directly at the camera like a documentary about how great Bjorn supposedly was.
But what has Bjorn done? He's lost more battles than he's won, failed at every one of his ventures, failed to protect his children and his mother as he'd rather be galivanting about elsewhere, wasn't elected King of Norway but somehow everyone rallied to him for this battle anyway, which makes no sense as if they really cared about him atall then they'd have rallied far earlier when it really counted. He makes dumb choices, is always angry, cheats on every one of his wives/partners, gets a new wife and then immediately cheats on her, etc. He got mad at Hvisterk for killing Lagertha, but wasn't mad at Lagertha for killing Aslaug. It seems in this fictional world that Vikings has fabricated, that murder is only punishable if the plot requires it to be nonsensically punished despite it making no sense one way or the other.
I could go on forever about all the problems with Vikings after the second siege of Paris, basically it all starts when the four adult children of Aslaug are introduced. Ultimately the show's Epilogue starts when Margrette is introduced, and the show isn't worth watching once Ragnar dies, other than for sheer cringe.
S06 E11 is one of the worst and most nonsensical of all. The Rus vastly outnumber the Norse, but are randomly defeated out of nowhere, further deflating what little air is left in the tattered scrap of bubble wrap this show has become. 1/10.
Vikings: The Best Laid Plans (2020)
Utter garbage
When Vikings season 1 was first airing back in 2013, I was captivated throughout each episode. It's by far the best season of the show, and it continues to fall down afterwards, with the nail in the coffin being Ragnar's death in season 4. From that point on, the show I once loved is nothing but cringe. One of the worst episodes is this one (S06 E10). So many questions:
1. What is the point of being the "King of All Norway" if the King has no King's guard protecting him, and that he couldn't rally a bigger defence force or better tactics than just the same old 1 v 1s that the show never ceases doing? Why can't you ever give us proper battle formations like the historical Norse actually did?
2. Why aren't the Norwegians using crossbows, seeing as previously in the show they had?
3. Why didn't the defenders make better defences on the beach?
4. Why should we care about Ivar and the Rus atall? Why is Hvitserk allying with Ivar after Ivar burned Hvitserk's girlfriend alive? Why does Ivar want to deliver Norway into Christian hands? Why do the Rus even want to take Norway atall? The motivations make no sense. There's no stakes in this entire plot, I'm only watching this season finally to get it over with as I previously gave up halfway through season 5 before.
5. Why can't the showrunners ever give us a convincing battle scene? That's one of the glaring weaknesses for the entire show. The only decent one was the small shield wall fight on the beach in S01 E02. The rest have all been disappointing in relation to the build up beforehand.
The only good performances/plots in the entirety of Season 5 and 6 are with Ketill Flatnose (Adam Copeland is a good actor) and Floki. The rest of the cast can't act, or are directed to act in the cringiest ways imaginable, with terrible writing. Adult Bjorn and Ivar are the most annoying cretins ever, but the show insists on making them the centre of it, while side-lining or killing off much better characters in the stupidest ways possible.
It really is a struggle for me to get through each of these episodes.
1/10, garbage, I have no clue what the showrunners are going for.
Vikings: The Message (2017)
Nothing but pain
The previous episode was hilariously cringey, but this episode begins the unbroken pain that Vikings became from here until the end. There are zero redeeming qualities of the show now, it's just nothing but pain.
Every previously decent/tolerable character from the first 4 seasons are all awful now, and every new character is the same.
The only plank of wood left in the decimated scrap pile that was once a great sailing vessel is Floki, as every other character without fail is horrible. And even Floki is a shadow of his former self.
The absolute worst of them is Margaret, whose only expression ever is permanent piggy face. Every time she's on screen I want to slap her out of the way, as looking at a rotting poo is more worthwhile.
The show from here on has no direction, no meaning, no purpose.
And last episode the Bjorn Brigade were in Arabia. Somehow they left Arabia and arrived back in Kattegat, half way across the world, inexplicably as the previous time were saw them was riding on camels in the desert away from a storm. Sinric just disappeared without explanation also.
I loved the first season, it's by far the best season with the least cringe, and minus the god awful Wessex and Paris court drama scenes that have zero payoff or reason for existing, the show remains decent until Ragnar dies. But from S5 E6, I legit hate the show now. I remember now why I just gave up before Season 5 ended back when I was still keeping up with it in 2017.
The acting, writing, and direction of this episode has me rubbing my eyes to make sure it's the same people who made season 1, as truly I cannot believe it is. Nothing redeemable whatsoever. I have to pause each episode now every few minutes to take a break due to the sheer pain of how terrible it has become.
I could go into details but I think I'd be typing forever. Out of the 44 minutes of this, I think only 30 seconds wasn't painful cringe, which is when Floki talks.
I used to think Game of Thrones died a worse death than Vikings, but at least it was funny bad, whereas Vikings is now just nothing but anger inducing pain.
Vikings: The Prisoner (2017)
Slapstick comedy
Vikings becomes progressively shaky after Ragnar dies, but S5 E5 is where occasional chuckles at the previous episodes now turns into outbursts of cry laughing at just how absolutely hopelessly god awful it's become. No direction whatsoever, just random garbage that tries to set up a rule in one scene, and immediately breaks the rule 20 seconds later, over and over again. The characters do and say the most absurd things in contrast to how we've always known them before. Lagertha is now nothing more than a pathetic plot device to cause pointless tension for no real reason. Floki has turned into a psych ward patient cult leader, and Lagertha hates him for some reason now, why?
Bjorn's Arabian Nights turns into a gay romp in the desert with those male concubines. Why are Bjorn and friends there? Why did he get rid of 90% of his fleet because Sinric told him to? Where did his fleet go after that? They just vanished without a trace.
And then there's the opening scene of the Bishop LOL Cow himself, being the most insanely over the top clown of the entire show, screaming "Heathen!!" like this show has turned into Wicker Man 2 featuring Nicholas Cage or whatever.
And the ending when the Bjorn Bros are randomly about to get beheaded, lo and behold a storm rolls in to save them! Deus Ex Machina indeed!
This episode must be studied in Comedy Schools the world over, because it's so hilariously bad.
1917 (2019)
Works well as a comedy
The acting in this film is laughably terrible from pretty much everyone, especially the main two actors, and alien guy (Benedict Cumbertwat). Best watched when fully relaxed and drinking some tasty beverages or whatever floats your boat. The feeling I got from 1917 is annoyance, irritation, and amusement.
Films that do mega long takes that follow characters around for 10 minutes without a visible cut need to do it so we forget the camera is there, or at least in a way that justifies the long take. 1917 never makes me forget the camera is there. It feels like a Wes Anderson movie trying to be serious, but in its attempt becomes unintentionally even funnier. The only good movie I can think of that did a long take following characters around was the one that popularised it; Children of Men. If you're going to use a mega long take, have actors who can act, make the shot impressive or engaging (not with camera lingering on nothing for minutes at a time), and don't use the camera in ways that break the fourth wall.
1917 falls in the same waste basket as all other modern war movies that think they're doing something cool but which fail miserably in my opinion, films like Dunkirk, The Darkest Hour, etc. Boring. Seen it all before in better films. Please do something unique or original, not rehashing the same old garbage over and over. Also you don't have to desaturate the film so much that any further desaturation would make it black and white. Learn from the greats of the genres 1917 is trying to emulate; Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Prisoner of the Mountains, Paths of Glory, Apocalypse Now, Come and See, Tangerines, The Edge, etc.
Overall I'd say 1917 is much better and worthwhile than Dune (utter garbage), largely coz 1917 is unintentionally funny, whereas Dune is pure desaturated boring shlock with the worst acting ever. The reason I mention Dune here is coz they feel in the same category of modern whiny films that think they're doing something impressive when in fact I'd rather watch reruns of Dad's Army despite not having seen it for at least 20 years.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Eyeroll central
The first POTC movie is one of my favourite movies ever, then Dead Man's Chest is pretty good but the rot started to set in. At World's End is rotten to the core as the writing and plot is far removed from the brilliance of the first one, and is by far the most forgettable of the trilogy.
Throughout the entire film it feels like the writers just had no clue what to do with the plot, so filled it with as many nonsense bloated fillers as possible, lacking any shred of the first movie's momentum, tight plot, believability, audience investment, or stakes. It just meanders aimlessly, building up to a final showdown of lots of battle ships, but blue-balls us and just gives us a disappointing 2 v 1 that is over in 30 seconds.
As for naval warfare, I was really hoping that At World's End would have delivered some of the incisive brilliance of Master and Commander, but it just falls short in every way.
Granted there a few decent scenes scattered throughout, but 80% of the movie is cringe and eye-roll. However compared to the next POTC that follow, At World's End is a masterpiece.
The Rock (1996)
Peak 90s
The Rock is a movie that truly can be called a Real Movie, as in what movies are really made for.
I grew up watching it in the 90s & 2000s, was obsessed with it, still know every scene. It's Nic Cage's best movie (followed by Con Air and Face/Off of course), and one of Sean Connery's best. The rest of the cast and their acting is stellar, especially Ed Harris and Michael Biehn and that legendary shower room standoff.
The opening of the movie never ceases to give me chills, it's pure brilliance. I'd even go as far to say that The Rock is in the Top 5 actions movies ever, possibly even number 1.
It sits in the same G. O. A. T category as LOTR for me, I never get tired of it, there's so many great moments and dialogues, and each time I watch it my heart aches to be back in the 90s / early 2000s when life was just better.
10/10, must watch for everyone, multiple times.
A Knight's Tale (2001)
Best movie from 2001 other than LOTR
I saw this in the cinema with my dad when it first came out, when I was like 11 or 12. I immediately fell in love with it, as it made my heart ache and flutter, and cry. When the movie ended and we were walking out of the theatre, I said to my dad that Heath Ledger is going to be a mega star and that I hope to see him in more stuff. I saw every one of his movies thereafter in the theatre, right up until The Dark Knight, so from Knight to Knight so to speak.
Soon after seeing it for the first time in the theatre I then bought it on DVD when it became available, and watched it so many times as a kid. It was even one of the first DVDs I remember owning as it was all VHS until shortly before it.
Still to this day, A Knight's Tale is one of my absolute favourites, and it never ceases to make me smile, laugh, heart ache, and tear up. I can't give it any less than a 10/10. A must-see for everyone!
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
A new benchmark in cinema
I just now saw this in 3D, and was completely immersed from start to finish. I smiled, laughed, cried, my heart raced, and my jaw was agape many times. It's the best cinematic experience I've had since the first Avatar (13 years ago!), maybe even surpassing it.
I'll be seeing it in IMAX in a couple days, and any other screen style I can.
Bravo to everyone involved with this masterpiece, it is a whole new step up in cinema, much in the way Lord of the Rings was for its time.
Avatar: The Way of Water truly has a beautiful feel to it. The writing and story is superb, the casting and acting is stellar, and the theme of sacredness about nature and the ocean is woven into every frame of the film. The main element that really impressed me was how seamlessly the CGI melded with the real people interacting with Pandora and its inhabitants, making me completely forget that this gorgeous world we dive into isn't footage from Earth, despite me wanting it to be.
I loved how the film takes its time with character development and letting the audience breathe in the beautiful world of Pandora, rather than rushing through everything (like how many other blockbusters do), and also not wasting a moment.
I am really happy and excited that we're going to be getting at least 3 more Avatar movies after this, at least hopefully! It feels like we're back to an era of movies that I'm excited about again, after about a decade of drought. That being said, the movie's title is very fitting; an oasis in the expansive desert that modern media has long been.
Update / Edit (Aug 30th 2023): (contains spoilers)
After having watched it again on digital copy just now, I think this movie is specifically designed for IMAX 3D, and outside of that format much of its charm is lost. My first impression as written above was quite overzealous and rose-tinted, so here's some extra thoughts:
Way of Water is a visual feast for sure, best theatre / IMAX 3D experience I've had since Avatar 1, but I still prefer the first one; the story is better, tighter script, and the best building tension to final battle in any movie I've seen. Also the second one didn't quite hit as hard as the first one did. Avatar 1 is perfect, endlessly rewatchable, not a wasted scene throughout. However it does feel that Way of Water could have done with tightening up some more, especially the plot and script, in order for it to pack an emotional punch similar to or greater than the first. The final battle of Water could have been much grander, involving the Metkayina throughout rather than just the start when they quickly disappear inexplicably. At least give an explanation of why they suddenly vanished, and why Neytiri was side-lined for much of it only to occasionally pop in when the story needed her to.
Going forward in the Avatar series of movies, I hope James Cameron can refine the stories of each, and how they're told, to make us fall in love with Pandora like the first one did, as Way of Water didn't really do that for me. I hope that this film will be the weakest narratively of all the Avatar films, and the upcoming three will take the feeling that made so many of us fall in love with Avatar back in 2009/2010, and ramp it up.
The rule of thumb however with most movie franchises is that the first one is the best, and the following ones aren't quite as a good or memorable. However, James Cameron has shown the world that he can make sequels better than their originals (Aliens, T2), so I hope that he still has that magic in him.
Beoning (2018)
Maybe my favourite Korean movie
Of course there are many great South Korean movies, but none have left such a unique impression on me as Burning.
It's the first Korean movie I think of when recommending one.
The inviting yet unsettling directorial style, captivating cinematography, second-to-none subtle acting specifically by Yoo Ah-in, and the chilling semi-ambiguous creepiness of certain situations, particularly the party scene(s) with Ben's friends who give off a hint of almost a secret club of... kidnappers/traffickers?
"Burning" as a title, also fits this movie in multiple ways. Burning desire, love, loss, longing, regret, frustration, dull yet sharp pain, anger, unanswered questions, lostness, and rage/retribution.
It's a very well crafted movie which brings the main character from a glazed-over state of meandering placidity, to awakened feeling, then ultimately to the final act of... well, as the title suggests. His attempts at careful tiptoeing to find the answers all get tossed asunder, and pure raw fire erupts unabated, cleansing the evil he encountered, as well as purging himself of his placidity and failure to act when it was necessary.
9 or even 10 out of 10 for this great movie.
Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes (1972)
Mesmerising masterpiece
I've been re-watching Aguirre a few times just now. It's stunning.
The script, acting, cinematography, direction, and how the movie feels like I could just keep watching these characters and this story forever... along with the various levels of socio-political commentary and absurdity, i.e. The Emperor, and the fickle ambition, bravery, greed and cowardice of humans, and the painful tragedies that keep happening in this downward spiral into, well, the heart of darkness. All of these elements combine into a film that I don't think will be leaving my Top 10 any time soon.
The English dub is brilliant, and so is the German dub. I'd recommend watching both at least once.
Baraka (1992)
The king of documentaries
30 years after its release, still very few films are as evocative or moving as Baraka. It is required that you watch it in the highest bitrate and resolution possible, ideally 2160p (4k).
This film basically set the standard for documentaries going forward. It was as impactful and influential for its genre as Lord of the Rings was for movies.
There are of course other documentaries which came after Baraka that are superb, such as Planet Earth 1 & 2, and what I consider to be the successor to Baraka; that which being Home (Yann Arthus-Bertrand, 2009).
I just now re-watched Baraka for the first time in years, and realised how much my perspective has changed and grown since last time I saw it. I have come to more deeply realise that not all religions are equal or even worthy of respect, or even tolerance. I am not religious myself, and look on all religions with scepticism, whilst not necessarily being opposed to religion in concept, as long it does no harm to humans, animals or the environment. On those terms, there is a lot to criticise about religion, especially the ones with the biggest followings.
The notion of blanket religious tolerance is one that should be discarded, and now in the advancing modern era of better education and worldly awareness, we should actively prevent the harm to humans, animals and the environment that religion not only excuses, but often calls for, or even demands from its followers.
Baraka displays the sheer delusion and mindless sheep mentality of certain religions and their followers, whilst also showing glimpses of absurdity, barbarity, and unquestioning worship of religious figures who were truly evil people.
I am all for religions that genuinely revere life; of humans, animals and the environment. A religion that promotes respect for life and nature, rather than harming, damaging or destroying it, is a religion that I would be the first to follow.
I for one love to see a clean river with water so clear that you can either see to the riverbed, or any unclear river would only be murky due to natural causes, rather than humans polluting it and making it unviable for life, like a certain religion in India continues to insist upon.
Of all the practices documented in Baraka, the ones that seem most appealing to me are the group dances, like the ones in the jungle. Rituals such as those whose main purpose is to evoke a feeling of profound connection with the land and eachother; these are ones which I feel admiration for, and a desire to participate in.
If all religions cherished life, protected the environment from harm and pollution, and reveres the Earth which provides all, then I think we as human animals can achieve a much greater presence in this world, and one which any God would be happy to see; a humanity which loves and respects his creations, rather than defiling, desecrating, and destroying them.
In all, Baraka is a must see for everyone, and should be shown in schools.
I can give this wonderful film no less than 10/10.