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Apocalypse Z: El principio del fin (2024)
Watch the main character do stupid things...
...starting from bringing the cat along during a zombie apocalypse.
(Don't get me wrong, I love cats as much as the next person, but when zombies start roaming the streets Mr. Fluffy will be left to fend for himself. Especially a loud cat like this one, whose constant meowing is a zombie magnet.)
The movie started off well, but quickly left suspension of disbelief in the dust.
Are we exploring a dangerous hospital basement? Send the children ahead, they are expendable! Your machine gun has preciously few bullets? Mow down some random zombies instead of getting away in your car!
Some bonus point for picking a harpoon gun as a weapon of choice (it can be reloaded, and in Spain they have sensible gun control laws). Also the wetsuit is a good idea since it's bite proof. Forearm and shin protections have already been seen in World War Z but they are also a sensible choice.
Overall it's an average zombie movie - I don't regret watching it but it will not become a classic.
The Devil's Hour: 3.33 (2022)
Family drama
I watched this episode without knowing what genre to expect; I was drawn simply by the good reviews.
I followed the story of a social worker with sleep problems, a bullied problem child, an elderly mother with dementia and a divorced husband.
I watched the child pee on some school backpacks, heard dialogue about cash being covered in vaginal bacteria, noticed some dumb decisions being made by the social worker (for instance, she contested a diagnosis of a child psychologist as if she had a degree in that field).
There was also a police investigation with a detective that cannot stand the sight of blood.
The scenes were framed in an unconventional way that was original the first time I saw it in Mr. Robot nine years ago.
I had read high praise of Benjamin Chivers' performance but he has all of one expression throughout the episode. Capaldi can be seen only in the last minute.
After one hour of this I decided that this British family drama TV series wasn't worth my time; a few days later I discovered that The Devil's Hour is supposed to be horror/science fiction, which surprised me because I love both genres.
I wasn't distracted while watching the episode (I never check my phone when I watch something on TV) but even after replaying some of the scenes in my head I'm pretty sure there's no trace of either horror or science fiction in the first episode.
The problem is, nothing I saw convinced me to watch the second.
Bod obnovy (2023)
A nice surprise
I don't remember how this title came to my attention, but I'm glad I watched it.
The premise is nothing new, but the story is carried by decent performances by the (to me) unknown actors, sprinked with noteworthy acting by some of the supporting characters (Iveta Duskova and Jan Vlasak did an especially fine job).
Special effects looked good enough on my small screen. Some cyberpunk scenes are worth remembering - the mute thug with the 7-segment LED dentures is one of them.
Dialogue is average but again there are some noteworthy moments (the contrast between cellular memory and actual memory, for instance, or how Kurlstat discovered that he had gifted himself the memory of how to play piano after having his head slammed on a keyboard).
None of the characters pushed the plot along by doing stupid things, which is always a nice touch.
(IMDB doesn't allow me to use proper accents in the actors' names. Sorry about that.)
The Devil's Hour (2022)
My first and last episode
We watched this episode after a colleague praised the series, and it's 60 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
I checked my watch three times during the episode, wondering how long I had to wait until something happened, something started to make sense and finally how long I had to wait until the end credits put an end to my suffering (I didn't want to turn off the TV outright in case my girlfriend happened to like the episode; it turned out that she didn't either).
If somebody put a gun to my head asking me to write a synopsis of this episode I'd be a dead man.
It was a series of random images, some flashbacks, inane dialogue, non-existing acting and scenes that were framed "unconventionally" because the director thought it was a good idea to do so. The scenes that weren't meaningless were cringeworthy.
I had pinned my hopes on Capaldi, but he's on screen for all of 30 seconds at the end of the episode.
And, hello about good screenwriting: you don't ask a victim of ongoing domestic violence "have you called the police? Why don't you do so? You must call the police" and so on ad nauseam to manufacture drama: you hang up and call the police yourself. Sheesh.
Seriously, if I ever get fired from my current job I'll send a CV to Amazon Prime Video; they apparently hire everybody and their dogs.
Loups-Garous (2024)
This deserves 6.5 stars, actually...
...but IMDB doesn't allow users to award half-stars.
Anyway, the premise is nothing new but done rather well; acting is not stellar but more than adequate (it's clear that the actors were having some fun while shooting this movie, and this is always a plus).
Some unbelievable aspects of the plot (such as the latex paint or the electric amplifier) can be explained as "they are inside a game, and not actually in the sixteenth century" so they don't ruin suspension of disbelief.
I've never played the board game The Werewolves of Millers Hollow so I didn't really know what to expect. Seeing a senile Jean Reno turn into a superpowered fighter was a nice touch.
Recommended as a family movie; the werewolves aren't too scary for children, and some of the jokes are actually funny.
It's What's Inside (2024)
I had to tap out after 8 minutes
I have to strain to remember a movie that was so bad I stopped watching it, and even these few times I managed to get at least to the end of the first act.
Usually I slog even through patently bad works such as Blink Twice or the TV series Night Country, or the inane The World We Left Behind, but with this movie it was clear from the start that things would get from bad to worse.
Painful dialogue, cringeworthy characters (and there's only four of them in the few minutes I managed to watch) and people who have read of this "acting" thing on Wikipedia and wanted to try it out.
The plot of the first eight minutes consists of a girl who wants to spice up her sex life using a wig and interrupts her boyfriend who is about to masturbate to convince him to bang her.
So, yeah, I'm out.
Blink Twice (2024)
Please stick to acting, Zoë.
Zoë Kravitz is a good actress (I particularly liked her in Kimi) but if you want to see a good debut movie of an actress turned director, please watch Anna Kendrick's "Woman of the Hour" and skip this half-baked attempt to remake "I Spit on Your Grave".
I recently watched (much to my dismay) the TV series True Detective: Night Country and it seems that I'm witnessing a new trend, since directors Lopez and Kravitz both tick the same boxes:
* hire big-name actors to attract audiences, then sideline them and put little-known actors of dubious capabilities at the center.
* completely ignore scientific facts ("one potion makes you forget and one potion makes you remember" sounds like a Jefferson Airplane song).
* jump scares, be it ghosts like in Night Country, or loud noises like in Blink Twice, are a good way to startle the audience and should be used liberally.
* make the women appear smart and strong by portraying all the men around them as wimpy idiots.
* write a plot where nothing, absolutely nothing happens in the first two acts (this is supposed to be a "slow burn" way to "build tension", apparently). Put all the action in the final ten minutes.
* make it clear that vigilantism is good, and well rewarded.
Some final notes:
The symbolism of hitting somebody with a suggestively-shaped statuette was avant-garde in "A Clockwork Orange" - more than 50 years ago. Now it has all the subtlety of a brick to the face.
Haley Joel Osment is as menacing as a koala bear. Every scene he's in turns the tension down a notch (and trust me, "tension" in this movie reaches negative levels).
A Discovery of Witches: Episode #3.7 (2022)
Finally, a series that ends without a drawn-out battle
I've read the other reviews for the series finale, where most of the watchers were dissatisfied with the lack of a Big Battle to End all Battles.
Frankly, my girlfriend and I liked this episode quite a lot, precisely because there was no such battle.
Countless Hollywood movies have conditioned us into expecting punches and explosions and special effects and gore. The third act of practically all MCU movies is a long, drawn out fistfight. The third *movie* of the Hobbit trilogy is just a battle (that is non-existent in the book, by the way).
In this series, we've watched Diana grow in power due to hard work, tutoring by the best witch of London, and finally by acquiring an incredibly powerful artefact. It came as no surprise that the final confrontations with Satu, Benjamin and Gerbert were all one-sided.
In fact, at the beginning Diana thought she needed the help of fighting vampires, but she soon discovered that the real battle was one of illusions - and she managed to keep her cool when confronted by a suffering Matthew, and most surprisingly with the apparent kidnapping of her newborn twins.
That was the real fight; the rest was mopping up - and she didn't need help for that.
Also, Gerbert was defeated by political manoeuvring propped up by the revelations of Ashmole 782 and scientific proof. The actual debate happened (thankfully) offscreen, and after that the conclusion was foregone.
...of course, if you prefer the usual CGI Death Spells, this will be a letdown; in this case re-watching the battles in Harry Potter (or Twilight) might cleanse your palate. :-)
A Discovery of Witches (2018)
Hits the ground running
We've all heard the usual TV series reviews "the first episodes are a bit of a bore, but after the sixth it starts to become interesting..."
Well, A Discovery of Witches hits the ground running. We were hooked from the first episode, thanks to the two strong leads (with good chemistry between them), the cinematography that highlighted Oxford and Venice, the interesting plot and smart dialogue.
Matthew flying into a rage when he discovers that his son didn't ask for consent before biting a human was what convinced me that the series was worth watching.
I admit that I was a bit afraid that it could turn out to be a Twilight-like romance, but Diana is as strong willed as Bella was weak and passive.
The writing is remarkable, not so much due to snappy one-liners (even if there's a smattering of those) but due to how conflict is handled. The various characters fight among each other, but they never act irrationally and resolve the conflicts by talking, like normal people (hopefully) do.
Definitely recommended.
A Discovery of Witches: Episode #3.3 (2022)
An example of good writing
This episode surprised me with some good storytelling; I came to this series after watching True Detective 4 (where the characters behave in random, unrealistic ways) and I was despairing of finding again well-written character interactions.
Well, in this episode we learn that Ransome has some real and believable grievances against Matthew, to the point that he threatens to kill him if he sees him again.
Marcus acts as an intermediary, telling Ransome some details that soften him just a tiny bit and make him willing to go check his story.
His subsequent interaction with Jack is short but well done, and convinces him to meet Matthew to listen to what he has to say.
The encounter doesn't *start* well, both are stubborn but they don't follow the tried-and-tested Hollywood way of escalating this to a fistfight before making peace out of the blue; instead they talk and explain their positions, and this leads to a touching monologue from Matthew.
It helps that both actors are excellent (especially Goode); in the end I would have been convinced, had I been in Ransome's place.
Every step is believable and sounds like how reasonable, real people would have handled the situation. I don't know if this scene comes from the books (I haven't read them) and in that case I extend my kudos to the writer, Deborah Harkness.
I really would like to see more of this on TV.
A Discovery of Witches: Episode #2.1 (2021)
A series with strong, intelligent women
I haven't read the books, but both the missus and I were pleasantly surprised by the switch to old London, with its costumes and buildings.
Acting from Goode and Palmer is still top notch (there's still good chemistry between them) and the new characters hold their own too.
Diana is definitely leagues away from Twilight's Bella; she's willful and independent and smart, and can argue with Matthew without turning it into a Hollywood fight - they act like real couples do when they disagree about something.
I was conned into watching True Detective Night Country when they marketed it as driven by "strong, intelligent women" when that show is everything but; I should have skipped it altogether (sorry Jodie) and started watching this sooner.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Throw everything at the viewer, and see what sticks.
This was the same ploy that Issa Lopez used for True Detective: Night Country:
1) create some weird, unsettling imagery that will catch the attention of the TikTok generation;
2) pile up the questions without actually giving away any answer (because, I strongly suspect, even the scriptwriter has no coherent explanation for the jumble of randomly-assembled scenes)
3) hire some big Holliwood name so the final product won't be dismissed out of hand (Roberts cannot sign on a movie with no script, right?)
4) hint at some big resolution, end the movie when you're still ahead, and run with the money.
5) hope that enough people will be conned into believing this mess had some deeper meaning, and wait for the producers to hire you again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I cannot wait to see the first ChatGPT-generated scripts; they'll surely be more interesting than this.
The Office: Pilot (2005)
Painfully unfunny pilot episode
After completing Resident Alien with the excellent Alan Tudyk, we started canvassing for good series to watch.
A colleague sang high praises for The Office, saying that it was even funnier than The Big Bang Theory; since the IMDB ratings are also high we watched the first episode yesterday evening.
And... not a laugh. Not even a chuckle. I'd have to strain to identify a scene that was meant as a joke; the things that came closer were cringeworthy moments when the boss made Pam cry, or his impersonation of Steve Austin.
I've just checked the episode duration and I'm a bit shocked that it's just 23 minutes; it's so boring that I thought I had wasted at least 45 minutes of my life.
Seriously, this is the only time in recent memory that I've checked the watch during a TV episode - usually something that I don't do even during a 3-hour movie.
I'm pretty sure that the series cannot do anything but improve from this low point, but the Pilot makes the idea of watching Episode 2 an act of masochism.
This reminds me of a Randall Munroe webcomic about TV series: "You should keep watching; after the first season it gets really good" must be compared to someone who says "You should keep watching: after the first 8 movies, the franchise gets really good". No one would bother with the latter, so why should we bother with the former?
So, currently we're looking for a good TV series *that hits the ground running*. Any suggestions?
Figli (2020)
Better than expected
Cortellesi and Mastandrea are excellen actors, and they really shine in this movie.
Several monologues stand out - the one by Cortellesi about the past generation stealing their children's future, and the guru pediatrician spouting platitudes with great confidence.
Stefano Fresi's boys were so annoying (on purpose) that I wanted to reach into the screen and slap them.
Honorable mention to the idea of the title card "By convention, whenever the baby cries you'll hear Beethoven's sonata 'Pathetique' " that does an excellent job of conveying the baby's constant crying without actually grating on the viewers' nerves.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Easily the weakest of the franchise
The scenery is undoubtably gorgeously rendered, but the apes are lacking - I sorely missed Andy Serkis' and Karin Konoval's art in bringing the apes to life.
Most of the action scenes happen in simly lit settings, no doubt to add to the atmosphere... and to hide CGI defects.
The first two acts are more or less ok, even if the working telescope and the apes running around with futuristic cattle prods stretched belief a bit.
It's in the third act that the belief cleanly snaps: 300 years old technology comes alive at the flick of a switch, guns aren't a rusted mess, small isolated human installations can maintain 21st-century levels of technology by... manufacturing everything on-site, I'm led to believe: from transistors to lubricants to clothes and pharmaceuticals and food.
It doesn't help that the acting is bland all over, and the villain is more cartoonish than scary.
Fly Me to the Moon (2024)
A nice romantic comedy for space buffs
I wasn't interested in this movie at first, but then I saw a brief clip on TV and this led to me to watch the trailer.
I still wasn't convinced - I've always considered Tatum to be too bland in all the movies he's starred in - but there was literally nothing else in the theatres, so we gave it a try.
Fly Me to the Moon was a nice surprise right from the start: smart dialogue, quick pacing, excellent acting and an interesting plot.
The movie is mostly carried by Johansson, but Harrelson and Rash deserve honorable mentions. Tatum was not as bland as I expected - also his character is a space nerd and this fit rather well with his initial awkwardness when dealing with Johansson.
Ok, I admit - I'm a space nerd too, and the scenes of the liftoff of the Apollo 11 move me every time.
We saw this movie on the day of the 55th anniversary of the moon landing, and on a night with a full moon, which added to the movie magic.
Anna (2019)
Solid spy story and good action scenes
Luc Besson is back to his feet after a few disappointing titles (I stopped following him after Lucy and Valerian).
This movie is almost a remake of La Femme Nikita, but I'm ok with that - Nikita came out more than 30 years ago (argh, I'm old!) and Anna injects some freshness to the story - particularly to the fight scenes in a post-John Wick era.
The story is not linear with plenty of flashbacks, but it's quite easy to follow - and some of the twists were surprising.
Acting is above average for the genre, also thanks to the big names in the cast: I decided to give this movie a try when I heard that there was Cillian Murphy in it, and was surprised to find the always excellent Helen Mirren in a very sovietic makeup and dresses.
Sasha Luss is adequate as an actress, and stunning as a fashion model turned spy. Honorable mentions to Evans and Abova too.
Dark Matter (2024)
I'm entangled!
I've just finished the series, and it was a wild and interesting ride.
Recent shows had left me despairing over the quality of screenwriting; it seems that the modern trend is "put as many random events as possible in the script, the viewers will find something they like" (I call it the Rorschach School of Screenwriting).
Constellation is one example, and most of all True Detective: Night Country where it seemed that the characters' actions were decided with the roll of a dice.
Dark Matter has a tight script, no filler episodes, good dialogue, an interesting premise that was well developed (and I got a nice surprise after Episode 7 when they introduced a consequence I hadn't thought about).
I appreciated the fact that the series is self-contained; if they'll make a second season I'll watch it, but there are no cliffhangers to keep you watching forever: there's a satisfying closure.
Kudos to all actors, and notable mentions to Connelly and Braga.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Not quite satisfying
It's a run of the mill action comedy; I was expecting something more interesting.
Gosling's acting is better than Blunt's (usually she outshines her co-stars, it's apparent that she was here for the paycheck).
The karaoke scene is puzzling and could have been cut without altering the pacing (Blunt is a good singer, but this is not the Eurovision Song Contest).
Some characters make some dumb decisions just to keep the plot plodding along; the whole premise is a bit unbelievable. Aaron Taylor-Johnson was buch better in, say, Bullet Train; here he's as two-dimensional as it gets.
I appreciated some nice behind-the-scenes on how movies are made, and a few original ideas - even if these are few and far between.
The action scenes are top notch, at least.
Inside Out 2 (2024)
Movie magic at its finest
I liked the first Inside Out, but I thought it had some flaws. These were ironed out in the second installment, and the end result left me quite satisfied.
The initial idea of "puberty hits" with all its consequences is hilarious; the new emotions are spot-on (I'm really petitioning for an Inside Out 3 with an old Riley - Nostalgia had too little screen time!)
Envy was under-used, but the cellphone addicted Ennui was the perfect portrait of every modern teenager. Anxiety's twitches were beautifully rendered on-screen too.
Side note: the acting during Riley's panic attack is Oscar worthy. The girl has some serious acting chops! ...oh wait, she's just a CGI character. Can we add a new Academy award for these? Because if this is the trend, they'll soon outclass real life actors.
After the movie it was fun to ask friends and family what emotion they most identified with (I'm Embarrassment, in case you're wondering - that big softie :-) ).
IF (2024)
Bland, and mildly entertaining.
I really appreciated the CGI (Blue's fur was outstanding! Also his facial expressions were way above several real-life Hollywood actors).
I really liked to see Fiona Shaw getting back on her feet after her - let's say "puzzling" - performance in True Detective: Night Country.
The story was predictable; every actor did a decent job but there was no-one who rose above the "let's get the paycheck and go home" level - it's telling when the best acting comes from CGI characters.
I cannot say anything about the voice acting since I saw this in Italian; our dubbers are competent but we lost all the "star power" of the original cast.
Atlas (2024)
Does exactly what's written on the label...
...and this is quite refreshing, compared to the current offerings.
Let me explain: I watched True Detective 4 expecting a detective story and got a soap opera instead. Watched The Marvels and got a musical number. Watched Rogue Moon and got an inchoate mess instead of a story. Watched The Creator (a movie that shares the basic premise of Atlas) and got a warmed-up soup.
Somebody is apparently trying to re-invent storytelling to "modernize" it, and is failing miserably.
Atlas on the other hand has a simple story, it's developed with craft (if not with art) to its logical end, it has no glaring plot holes and doesn't slap you in the face with CGI: the special effects are there, but add flavour to the story instead of replacing it.
Acting is adequate; some dialogues may feel forced but most of them aren't; the director is competent.
To summarize, Atlas would have been an average movie ten or twenty years ago; nowadays it stands a head above the rest - mostly because average movie quality has fallen quite low.
Special mentions to JLo who manages to carry the movie and to convey some emotions from time to time; her character feels realistic enough and doesn't do stupid things just for the sake of the plot.
Simu Liu is creepy enough as the unstoppable villain; his motivations are refreshingly different from the usual desire to conquer the world - he just has a goal he deems worthy and is determined to achieve it at any cost.
The explosion of the ship near the end of the movie is amazing! The CGI crew somehow managed to inject some novelty into something as mundane as a Hollywood explosion. I'll have to re-watch that scene.
Gamgi (2013)
Decent movie with some excellent imagery
I saw this after the Covid-19 pandemic, so well after it was filmed. I'm european, so maybe some nuances flew over my head.
Acting is decent, even if a bit over the top at times. Min-ah Park is quite believable as the small child that causes most of the plot to move forward, the child actress is definitely talented but her character is annoying as hell.
The budget of the movie is more than adequate, with mass scenes that don't spare extras or special effects.
Just when I start thinking that this is just your run-of-the-mill disaster movie, the director hits me with some haunting, efective images (such as the orange peel grapple moving heaps of dead bodies to the fire pits).
Overall, a movie that's a bit better than average.
The Martian (2015)
I'm going to have to science the s**t out of this
I'm an engineer, and I completely *adore* this movie. In fact I've just re-watched it this weekend for the umpteenth time, and it still holds up exceptionally well, from the beauty of the Martian landscapes, to the ingenuity and humor of Watney, to the beautifully scripted dynamics in NASA offices and laboratories.
Do you want movies with strong female characters? Here you have a commander and a computer scientist on a mission to Mars, a competent PR executive and a lowly employee who rises through the ranks and gets into meetings with the top guys - NASA is an equal opportunity employer.
There's no tacked-on love story aside from a chaste kiss through a spacesuit helmet; on the other hand you get plenty of technical details made interesting and funny.
And, maybe it's just me, but this dialogue cracks me every time (Daniels' and Glover's acting is spot-on):
"I'm sorry what's your name again?"
"Teddy. I'm the Director of NASA."
... I've just discovered that there's an extended edition somewhere. I must go and get it.
Zootopia (2016)
Finally a movie with a strong female character!
...even if she is, you know, a bunny.
Judy starts her police training being smaller and weaker than the other recruits, but she overcomes all these difficulties not by some magical talent (live-action Mulan, I'm looking at you) but by sheer perseverance and cleverness.
She is bullied, mobbed and put down by her male colleagues, who are not intrinsecally bad or evil but simply old fashioned, and in the end Judy manages to show them the error of their ways.
I liked that the screenwriters didn't make Judy seem smarter by making every male around her look weak or dumb (True Detective Night Country, looking at you now): she actually comes up with some excellent ideas as to how to pursue the investigation.
Sure, she is scared and has her moments of weakness (who doesn't!) but this simply means that she is not a cardboard character. She's also a bit racist (understandably) but in the end she overcomes this bad trait and becomes a better person.
I wish more Hollywood storytellers would learn from this excellent movie when they try to tell stories about strong women! And, yes, the kids love this because it's full of fuzzy characters and funny jokes - but it's also a deep movie about racism, patriarchy and how to make them things of the past.