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Reviews
The White Lotus: Ciao (2022)
Not going to give up hope just yet...
I found the characters cliched and underdeveloped. Quite honestly, it feels like some old dude discovered TikTok over the summer and is trying to cram in trendy speaking patterns and linguistics into what is meant to be an organic a piece of art/entertainment. It feels forced or fake to me. What made season one great was the natural way the characters and plot unfolded. Season two has all the hallmarks of a sequel. The characters are not as subtle and likable as season one. I'm sure I'll get hate for this but it's my honest feeling as a fan. The popularity of the show may have made this season predictable and bloated. I can almost hear the Hollywood agents rushing to book their best clients on the show for maximal clout. I'm not giving up hope just yet. If for nothing else, I will keep watching for Jennifer Coolidge and her top tier comedic character work.
Living with Yourself (2019)
Garbage
The people that 10-star this series just love Paul Rudd. Which is fine, but lets not pretend this is a well written, acted or directed series. It is dull and full of ah-shucks moments from Rudd. Could have easily just been Melissa McCarthy and her husband. Same type of boring 'comedy.' Laugh because they cue you to laugh, little lemming.
Uncharted (2022)
Soulless adventure film
I guess the writers don't understand that Zippos have refillable tanks and replaceable wicks. This can serve as a metaphor that can be applied to all aspects of this horrible script. It's as if the filmmakers haven't had any life real experience. Like a child wrote the script imagining what he thinks being an adult is like.
Trainwreck: Woodstock '99 (2022)
Dishonest forced narrative
Blaming the disaster on "the times" is beyond stupid. No, Woodstock 99 wasn't a failure because of frat boys, American Pie, or Fight Club. No, it wasn't because KoRn is a metal band. It was because THE ORGANIZERS took away these kids food and water in order to gouge them with stadium prices. It was because the organizers wanted the event on a soulless military base to keep out people without tickets: Michael Lang and John Scher were just capitalist pigs exploiting a subculture for personal profit. Lang's smiling dopey hippie act irritates me. Typical delusional rich guy with destructive hubris.
We Met in Virtual Reality (2022)
Possibly fascinating for the 65+ demographic
Disingenuous and lame. I find it funny that any high ratings appear to be from out-of-touch boomers thinking this is somehow a new concept. The fact that this "documentary" was accepted into Sundance exposes just how disconnected and dated the festival judges are in 2022. There is nothing here for anyone remotely familiar with the technology. Very much constructed in editing to give the semblance of congruence. What a joke.
Ghislaine: Partner in Crime (2022)
Way too sympathetic toward Ghislaine and by proxy Epstein
This docuseries is pretty gross. Humanizes and shows sympathy towards these privileged monsters. Honestly it seems like this whole production is in some way commissioned or produced by the extended Maxwell family. Just a bizarre tone deaf attempt at shaping a narrative.
Good Girls (2018)
Mathew Lillard is the Best Actor on the Show
I'm halfway into season three now. I loved the first two seasons, except for the bland, robotic Rio character. The Rio storyline, the surprise, was the jump-the-shark moment for me. It was unnecessary. Matthew Lillard is by far the most emotionally powerful in the series. He has brought me to tears on multiple occasions during his standout scenes. Overall, a flawed show with super redeeming elements that keeps me hanging in, even after I'm frustrated from a couple of horrible episodes or too much ridiculous Rio. Other reviewers have covered the nuance; this is just two cents.
They Live in the Grey (2022)
Boring
Extremely boring. Can't believe people like this get funding while hundreds of actually talented filmmakers wallow in obscurity. Anyway, this film is horrible. Weak narrative. Another movie with lazy structure masquerading as avant-garde. Nothing special or interesting.
Still (2018)
Another "ambitious" film a newcomer director
It's a pretty depressing thing that the best part of this movie is the scenery. Had potential but squandered it on bad writing, plotting and direction. Stinks of something inauthentic. My guess is that the director has little life experience to draw from. He has overstretched his reach. The material/subject is too esoteric for his superficial approach. Maybe a bit hubris. Overall an annoying, uninspired film. 2/10.
Two Weeks to Live (2020)
Relies too much on gimmicks, lackluster dialogue
Leans heavily on hackneyed jokes and soundtrack usage to compensate for the lack of organically created characters. It's a paint-by-numbers production that feels soulless. I say this with regret because it had so much potential. I love the premise and enjoyed the actors but they were given a trash script. It could have been a great show with a different screenwriter.
The Head (2020)
Unlistenable Audio
Whoever the audio engineer was ruined the audio with bad digital effects on every line of dialog. It has a stereo imager on EVERYTHING. I cannot believe this was released with this terribly mixed audio. If it's a 5.1 mixdown issue, HBO Max should have corrected the audio before distribution. Other than the distracting weird audio it's a fairly slow albeit enjoyable mystery series.
Saint Maud (2019)
Not scary or original in any way
Just another overblown A24 color-filter heavy production. I'm sure their loyal fanbase will call this the scariest movie they've ever seen, or something equally hyperbolic. The film is shot nice, aesthetically pleasing, blah blah blah... but the story is amateur, derivative, and predictable. It's plot and characters are not interesting unless you just haven't seen that many horror films. The filmmaker basically took all the satanic panic clichés and then added the element of mental health as if that's some new angle.
Boss Level (2020)
9 & 10 stars??
It's funny imagining the type of person that thinks this is a 9 or 10-star movie. Simply put, Boss Level is a technically well-produced film but it's just so boring and filled with clichés we've seen a million times. The story is a joke. The characters have less depth and emotion than in a comic book.
Oldboy (2013)
Dear Korea, this does not reflect America's interpretation of Old Boy
Spike Lee, for whatever reason, believed he could remake a revered Korean film. Unfortunately he seemed to be blinded by hubris. The whole production feels amateur. It's embarrassing as an American that Korea will see this and might think this is a representation of our comprehension and (lack of) nuance.
County Line (2017)
I found the style and pacing weird
I found the style and pacing weird. Almost like a ironic parody of acting, even in scenes that were clearly meant to be sincere. The acting is strange, kind of amateur feeling.
The Premise (2021)
Underwhelming and not that funny
Novak apparently thinks he has some kind of unique or edgy take on tired cliché premises. It seems like he's been in his bubble for too long and is starting to lose touch. The whole series theme and narrative feels like it's straight out of 2014. I expected more from Novak. Also, the introductions to each episode are unnecessary and patronizing. It's interesting what will get produced these days as long as a "name" is behind it.
Intrusion (2021)
A pretty good suspense/mystery
A pretty good suspense/mystery with some character development weaknesses and lack of compelling dialog.
The Operative (2019)
NO ENDING?
Wow I loved this movie until it just ENDS with no conclusion or final act. Not cool. Not creative. Not clever.
Hostage House (2021)
Seems like a Lifetime movie
The acting and production makes Hostage House feel like a Lifetime Original Movie. Netflix must really be trying to save money by buying up cheap amateur productions.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Another international dubbing mess
I didn't sign up for Netflix to watch movies with silly dubbing. If I wanted to cringe at melodramatic voice actors I'd watch anime.
Message from the King (2016)
9's and 10's... are you serious?
Look, it's not a terrible movie but it's riddled with cliches and bad dialog. Boseman does a great job as the brooding main character. Cinematography and soundtrack is enjoyable. It's just a shame that whoever wrote this didn't get some help.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Lanthimos tries to be Kubrick in his cinematography and Bunuel in his storytelling
Martin threatens Dr. Murphy's family in no uncertain terms. He even explains his motive. Murphy doesn't go to the authorities. Later, when he informs his wife about this threat, his wife replies "We're not going to the police. We're not tell anyone about this. What's the point?" This is one of many illogical and convenient elements to the screenplay that enables the poorly conceived story to continue.
Martin proclaims he and his mother live in a rough part of town, in a "not-so-nice" house. We then see Martin's big Victorian home in Hyde Park. They have ample food, nice furniture and clean clothes. I don't think the director/writer understands what low income Ohio looks like. It is ridiculous and reeks of classism.
Many shots are Stanley Kubrick imitations. The filmmaker, Yorgos Lanthimos, tries to be Kubrick in his cinematography and Bunuel in his storytelling. It's embarrassing. This imposter's style only fools pseudo-intellectual "wannabe" cinephiles.
How Martin has access to this karmic ability goes unaddressed. Neither are the repercussions (moral and legal) of murder. It's quite easy, and lazy, to write a story like The Killing of a Scared Deer because it doesn't have to follow the rules of logic. The film doesn't take place in a developed reality. It is a simpleton's fantasy without the responsibility of world-building.
The final (hilarious) icing on this cake of pretension is the claim that this film is a modern retelling of Iphigenia in Aulis. That is just marketing nonsense. Iphigenia in Aulis tells a proper story, with logic. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a grasp for artistic attention from yet another perverted, mentally ill filmmaker.
The Woman in the Window (2021)
Frustrating waste of talent
Way too many jumpscares for no reason.
Police and detectives go into a private residence with a hostile complainant, intimidating a sleeping woman. They are biased and unrealistic.
Illogical "tenet" that vacillates between kindness and inexplicable aggression. His personality changes to suit the scene.
The editing is irritating and cheap. So many quick cuts with loud sound effects to further the artificial tension.
Just overall not enjoyable to watch. The filmmakers truly wasted good talent and should be ashamed of the final product.
Sharp Objects (2018)
Irritatingly slow for predictable payoff
Because we live in the age of miniseries, this story was stretched out to fill 8 hours of irritatingly slow neo-southern gothic melodrama.
It's hard to critique a show like Sharp Objects, because it's a good show, technically speaking. Amy Adams was thoroughly enrapturing. The cinematography and design was beautiful.
It's just... so slow. This could have been a great 2 1/2 hour film. Maybe even Oscar-worthy. Alas, networks expect us to dedicate 8 hours to pretty underwhelming stories.
We know from the first episode, the mom is absolutely criminally insane and dangerously creepy. We see how she controls her daughters and husband. We see that everyone around her is either inexplicably charmed, or under the influence of some kind of substance. We see her power and influence in the city and how she is quite literally hiding in plain sight.
By the time everything is revealed, it's not that surprising or interesting. The final twist is equally expected.
This is a series for people desperate for melodrama and looking for a way to kill a week's worth of television time.
For someone with a life and creative hobbies outside long-form escapism, Sharp Objects is self-indulgent and borderline ridiculous.
The Dry (2020)
Mediocre and tedious
Aussies get so excited and delusional when it comes to their own country's creative output. This film is boring and slow. It is self-indulgent and cliche. It's honestly embarrassing that it's getting such high marks. The irony is, this kind of misappropriated rating based on pride will keep Australia's art locked into a echo chamber of suspended animation. You must be unbiased and ruthlessly critical of film for it to evolve.