mcjensen-05924

Clearly Berry was handed her Oscar for no other reason than, uh.....I have no clue. It can't be for her performance in this ridiculous stinker of a film. She displayed no personality whatsoever, and didn't even look that attractive if truth be told. Her chubby little kid had no business being in a film either. Talentless little bugger. BBT was another huge disappointment. Ledger was also a completely daft moron that added nothing to the film. There's no logic to anything anyone said or did, so I'm not even gonna focus on any more individual performances. The entire cast dialed it in on cruise control. It was the most bland and unconvincing load of tripe I've had the misfortune to endure. It's really quite insulting. This is just a long winded way of saying that it's a typical American made movie for that time, where things that should be explained never are, and time is wasted on trivial incidential details that nobody cares about in the least. Pure garbage. There's flies buzzing around this one.

There's nothing even close to original in this movie. Every character is a one dimensional cardboard cutout cliche. Every idea is pilfered from far superior movies. And every character (with few exceptions) are extremely annoying. At least the presence of Lisa Eibacher provides some lovely eye candy for the viewer, even though her character is dumber than snot. Amanda Pays ain't too shabby either. When it's time to make decisions on how to proceed, these clowns get it wrong every single time. It's astounding how people this void of intellect would be selected for such a mission. Any movie with the dull Richard Crenna is pretty much guaranteed to be a dud, so it's really no shock how dismal this putrid thing is. I don't think Peter Weller has shows an ounce of charisma in any role he's tackled his entire mediocre career, and that included Naked Lunch. Even The Abyss transcends this insulting slop, and The Abyss was horrendous garbage. This is Alien underwater, and it's every bit an awful as you would expect such a blatant ripoff would be.

Other than a few characters in the ensemble cast, the people in this movie are drab and forgettable. The whole thing just stretches credibility to the absolute maximum. It doesn't even succeed as a black comedy. Sure, Gemma is rather pretty. But her forced smiles just seem too forced and radiant. Anyway, she blows into town and proceeds to wrap her legs around every guy she meets. A total tramp. There's two women who go googly eyed over a fat overweight narcissist with man boobs who treats his wife like trash. See what I mean? Really likable characters. Adultery is portrayed as just so common, and the wife somehow inconceibably takes forever to come to her senses and realize she doesn't need that turd. The only levity is provided by a few school girls, who I thought were genuinely hilarious. But a director who things a dog getting killed in any way adds to the enjoyability of a movie really should be flogged.