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richardpickren
Reviews
Prey (2021)
Five Unprepared Idiots Take A walk in the Woods
First the Good. Nice location and cinematography. Decent understated music score. Generally good acting. Ok subtitles for German language.
The bad:
1. The screenplay is ridiculously nonsensical. The film unravels with the five on a bachelor party weekend on a river kayaking trip.
After some horseplay on the river the kayaks magically disappear and the five build a campfire hear a rifle shot and hike to a mountaintop castle.
2. They then backpack to their car ostensibly to head home. When they reach the car, one is shot in the arm by an unseen assassin. Pinned down near the car they decide to make a run for the woods leaving all their gear behind.
3. They wander aimlessly and apparently do not have a compass. One has a cell phone but no service. All modern cellphones have GPS yet it seems there is no map or compass app on the phone. B. S.
4. Two of the hikers sustain ankle injuries but neither attempts to find a walking stick.
5. Ostensibly, none in the group has a knife. Who goes on a weekend hike without a knife or a multi tool? Idiots that's who!
6. They are a pursued by a mysterious woman with a bolt action scooped rifle wearing a cloak. Four of the hikers are shot along with a young woman working in a cabin (hostel?).
7. The surviving hero fights with the cloaked woman and throws the rifle over the cliff. The cloaked woman does a backwards swan dive off the cliff and kills herself.
No explanation of her identity, the murders or her death are revealed.
This might have been an interesting film with a decent screenplay. In the end the film is a waste of the viewers time.
Watch only for the location and cinematography. Sadly, the actors talents are wasted.
Michael Kohlhaas (2013)
A Mess of a Movie Made Watchable by Mads
A mess of a turtle crawl paced movie only made slightly watchable by Mads. Beautifully filmed with natural light but unbearably ponderous and predictable. Braveheart on the cheap.
Appreciate seeing the great Bruno Ganz as the governor in a small role but it was a thankless task. No performance or actor could rescue this interminable slog. The legend of Michael Kohlhass blessedly could've been told in 30 minutes. Watch at your own risk. Mads has starred in many terrific movies. If this is your introduction to Mkiklesen, do yourself a favor and choose another one of his movies. This film is pretentious and subpar.
The Wolfman (2010)
"God help us"
Says Hugo Weavings" character Aberline. Truer words can not be said about this misfire; a very disappointing film especially with a cast including Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt and Benicio Del Toro. Del Toro's acting is quite wretched and he has absolutely zero chemistry with Emily Blunt. The moor atmospherics are fine but the Wolfman CG is way over the top. As one would expect, the movie is completely predictable from the opening slaughter. The outcome is as expected. Nothing new here folks. Don't waste your time with this silly remake but instead watch the 1941 version with Lon Chaney as Lawrence and Claude Rains as. Sir John.
Chaos (2005)
Chaos is an apt title for this mess
Generally, I enjoy Jason Statham's film persona. Much like Eastwood, his underplayed anti hero and man of few words is usually fun to watch. Not in Chaos. A terribly cliched script sets the tone from the opening scene. Nothing works. The entire cast performs like they're acting in a junior high school play. Ryan Phillipe has absolutely no chemistry with Statham and Wesley Snipe walks through another role on the way to a paycheck. Nicholas Lea who had a plum role in the X Files as Alex Krychek phones in an unremarkable performance.
I recommend a pass on this uninteresting mess of movie. Read a good book instead.
Now You See Me (2013)
A Magical Mess of a Movie
An interesting start leads to a boring disaster of epic proportions. The last two thirds of this film are utterly ridiculous and unwatchable. Woody is always interesting but he can't overcome a dung script and Mark Ruffalo's annoyingly indulgent performance. How does this weak phony thespian get plum roles in film after film? You got me. Mélanie Laurent? Awful. Jesse Eisenberg? I'll pass on anything he's in going forward.
Shame on Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. They walk through the movie like zombies. A lousy screenplay and a horrible over the top music score by Brian Tyler helps to sink this moronic mess.
The Great Gatsby (2013)
Did Anyone Read the Novel?
Ostensibly not! What an incredible load of pretentious rot. Incredible misfires in the casting department: Toby McGuire as Nick? Carey Mulligan as Daisy? Leonardo as Gatsby? Nope. Clayton's 1974 version was weak, unfocused and trite but at least Redford and Farrow were fairly close to Fitzgerald's original characters.
Luhrmann's approach to the novel is an unfocused disjointed fantasy free for all. It's bewildering that he was able to get financing for this mess and further bewildering that Leo signed on. Don't waste your time watching this ridiculous, embarrassing and smug interpretation. Read the novel.
Apache (1954)
Lancaster's Least Performance
Early Aldrich. Hard to fathom that Aldrich made Kiss Me Deadly before this forgettable Indian dreck. The film is shot in Technicolor and looks great but the question that first comes to mind is why Lancaster agreed to play an Apache? Why? Apparently for $ and ego? Both Peters and Lancaster's performances are embarrassing, laughable and sophomoric. The supporting cast of McIntire and Dehner do their best to help pull this dog over the finish line. Monte Blue as Geronimo is a hoot. A young Charles Bronson turns in a decent performance as Hondo. The rest of the cast do their best to support this silly revisionist western history.
The Perfect Storm (2000)
A Doomed Voyage. A Doomed Film
Woefully Predictable. An all star cast can't overcome a silly by the numbers soap opera script. The setup scenes to the doomed voyage are embarrassingly sophomoric. The score by James Horner is melodramatic tripe and Petersen's direction is way of course. Sadly, land lubber Clooney isn't remotely believable as the skipper. Gilligan's Island provides more enjoyment. Avoid this shipwreck of a movie. Read the book.
White Hunter Black Heart (1990)
Arguably Eastwood's Best Directing Effort
Shot in Zimbabwe, everything about this film is top notch: the direction, performances, screenplay, cinematography, music, atmosphere and location. Eastwood's interpretation of John Huston's quest for a trophy elephant during the filming of The African Queen is riveting. Jeff Fahey turns in one his most memorable performances as Peter Viertel. George Dzundza is wonderful as the producer and the ever beautiful Marissa Berenson is spot on as Hepburn. Wonderful film making from beginning to end.
Dune: Part One (2021)
God in heaven! What A Colossal Bore!
A disappointingly, self indulgent remake of the 1984 film of Frank Herbert's confusing and mediocre novel Dune. The 1984 film is arguably better. Avoid this self indulgent CGI mess. Part 2 promises to dive further down the wormhole of special effects and nonsensical story telling. Boo!
Don't waste your time.
Autostop rosso sangue (1977)
Wow!
Top notch exploitation. Four Roses, Nero, Hess and the stunningly, insane erotic beauty of Corrine Clery. An early grind house classic. Well worth your time.
A Walk Among the Tombstones (2014)
A Chicago PD Episode? Maybe.
Liam Neeson hits a new low. A predictable, ridiculous non thriller ruined by every TV cliche imaginable from embarrassing diversity casting to a beyond trite screenplay. Dan Stevens left Downtown Abbey for this crap? Shame. I watched it so you don't have to. AVOID.
Night Passage (1957)
A Far Piece From the Superb Mann Westerns
Stewart's westerns are always worth the watch but Night Passage is a paint by numbers cliched western. An extremely poor script coupled with mediocre directing doom this film. Stewart's singing is cringe worthy and his fake playing of the accordion is a nonsensical character add. Old nemesis Dan Duryea is way over the top. Mann wouldn't have allowed such baloney. Murphy rises somewhat to the occasion against all odds with a fairly decent performance. The rest of the cast is painful to watch. Brandon De Wilde is stranded without Shane and JC Flippen manages to notch the worst performance of his career. The lead women Foster and Stewart are as wooden as Kawliga.
As other have noted the second half of the film is slightly better but overall this is one of Stewart's rare duds. If you're a Stewart fan, (like I am) it might be worth your time. Barely.
Michael Collins (1996)
jesus Wept!
A worthy yet historically romanticized uneven film. A wonderfully understated performance by Alan Rickman as de Valera. Possibly Neeson's best performance as Michael Collins. As always, Stephen Rea turns in a masterful performance. Unforgivably marred by the miscasting of Aidan Quinn and Julia Roberts; both who can't string together one authentic sentence of believable Irish dialect.
Gladiator (2000)
A Predictable Soap Opera
Good performances by the principals but boring at times surprisingly silly and emotionally empty. Overly long, overly sentimental, empty and predictable. Pales in comparison to masterpiece the Ben-Hur. Certainly not Scott's best work.
The Grey Fox (1982)
A beautiful gem!
I first saw The Grey Fox in college.
It made an impression then and once again when I viewed again some 35+ years later.
Richard Farnsworth's performance and understated presence is perfect. The direction is superb and the Canadian cinematography is stunning. The narrative unfolds deliberately slow with a minimal focus on violence in lieu of character development. A wonderful and rare western film.
Big Business (1929)
A Silent Film Masterpiece!
Laurel and Hardy + Finlayson= Gold! The absolute pinnacle of pantomime. This silent film was the beginning of many entertaining encounters between the three masters of comedy.
The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009)
One of Werner's worst efforts
Very disappointing. Lousy acting and directing. A silly exploitative waste of time. Herzog should be ashamed of this rubbish.
The Devil All the Time (2020)
American Gothic
A near masterpiece. Terrific performances and direction.
The music is top notch and effective throughout. Don't miss this film!
The Ice Road (2021)
A Complete Wreck
An utter waste of time. Every silly cliche imaginable is present in this idiotic cartoon: the butch minority woman, the corporate weasel and the downtrodden driver with a mentally challenged brother. The CG effects are pathetic. Blessedly, Lawrence Fishburne is killed off in the first half hour. Shame on Liam Neeson for lowering himself to appear in this dreck for a bag of coins.
Do yourself a favor and watch any episode of Ice Road Truckers instead of this insulting wreck.
Mary Queen of Scots (2018)
Vulgar, Inaccurate and Insulting!
An insulting inaccurate miscast historical fantasy directed and cast by hack director Josie Rourke. Rourke's social agenda makes this a debacle of a film; a fist clenching experience from beginning to end. Don't waste your time!
The Heartbreak Kid (1972)
"I Made the Big Mistake!"
An all time favorite. A wonderfully entertaining film about a catastrophic yet hilarious marriage and honeymoon. Brilliant performances by Grodin, Berlin, Lindley and especially Eddie Albert and the provocatively sexy Cybil Shepherd . Great laughs.
The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
What a Colossal Mess! Read the Book!
An extremely disappointing and ridiculous adaptation of James Fenimore Copper's novel. Mann absolutely destroys the narrative with anachronistic dialogue, over acting and historical distortions and untruths. Daniel Day Lewis' worst performance of his storied career. His performance as Natty Bumpo/Hawkeye is boring, uninspired and unconvincing. Stowe is terrible. Wes Studi as Magua is the only consistently interesting character in the movie. Don't waster your time! Give Cooper the respect he deserves. Skip this rubbish and read the Deerslayer and then read Last of the Mohicans.
Trespass (2011)
Another Cage Guilty Pleasure
The usual semi-enjoyable rubbish from Cage. The bigger question is why Kidman is in this cliched mess. Is this really the actress who was brilliant in Dead Calm her debut? Yes. Indeed. Mendelsohn is always good but wasted in this misfire.
Warrior (2011)
Brilliant Acting. A Silly Predictable Soap Opera Screenplay.
Unfortunately, this could've been a great movie if the story wasn't so ridiculously predictable. It's a very disappointing Rocky cartoon retread. Great performances by Nolte, Hardy and Edgerton completely wasted.
Skip this crap and watch Raging Bull.