How do you get an affordable minimalist makeover in New York?
Leave a window open.
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What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day party?
Fission Chips.
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A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice-looking VR set.
Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, “What happens if this doesn’t work?”
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILED’.
Feeling assured, he paid for the VR set and returns to his hotel.
He tried to use the VR set after returning to the hotel, but it wouldn’t even switch on.
He quickly returned to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit.
When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of the guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, “Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.”
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Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter.
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How does a physical chemist wash their glassware?
They get an organic chemist to do it.
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Why is finding a place to sit can be a challenge in the Chemistry Department cafeteria?
They only have periodic tables.
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What’s the only type of melon that changes colors at will?
A chamelon.
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Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.
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Why did the girl sit on the clock?
She just wanted to be on time.
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Why did Puerto Rico become a state?
Because they couldn’t find enough parking.
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An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment.
They are wanted for dessertion.
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A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
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What do you call it when a whole bunch of cacti fall over?
A cac-tas-trophy.
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During a biology exam, a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He’s unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
– Contains all the nutrients a baby needs.
– Doesn’t need heating.
But he still needs one more.
And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
– Has great packaging.
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Whenever my wife asks me to clean the kitchen, I show her funny videos until she forgets she asked.
But now she says she’s had enough of my delaying TikToks.
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Yo mama so fat Obi-Wan Kenobi said “That’s no moon—that’s Yo mama!”.
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You must be a gelato, because you make ice creams look bad.
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Your mama’s so short that she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.
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Good morning to someone who starts each day by asking the important questions of life: Can I eat leftover pizza for breakfast?
Have a great day!
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One of my favorite things I like to do is go home to be ugly in peace.
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