Care.com’s Post

"Though Ms Sun Xueling, Minister of State for Social and Family Development, stated in 2019 that single unmarried parents are valued citizens who are no less than their married counterparts and should be equally respected, it is easy to see why such stigma persists; existing policies perpetuate the view of single-mother families as inferior to the traditional ideal of dual-parent families." Read our latest op-ed for The Straits Times below.

Is it uncomfortable to put the spotlight on an unequal experience of motherhood? (phrase used in the Straits Times article on Saturday.) Perhaps. Uncomfortable topics become less uncomfortable the more we shed light on it. Like #singlemomlife. Which is why I'm glad The Straits Times featured an article on Sat May 11 on single mothers (link below). “𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘣 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥.“ H/t to Kay Pang's post (link in comments) that highlighted the article and also gave pointers on handling work conversations with single moms. Here from yet another #singlemom living my life the best I can for the last 8 years. 👉 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗼 𝟭:  There are no off days.  There is back-breaking exhaustion and mental fatigue where you hit a wall, and then have to pick yourself up again because there is no backup plan.   My suggestion is not throw a pity party.  The fatigue is what it is, single moms know it.  Provide support or witness, not sympathy. 👉 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗼 𝟮: There are different reasons why single parents exist.  And different co-parenting situations, some have the benefit of helpers, some don't. My suggestion is to avoid comparison or make one situation seem less "serious" than another.  "At least you have a helper", "at least you co-parent". There are still no off-days, moms still carry a heavier part of the emotional labor and there is no one to share it with.  Also, why do we need to compare between types? 👉 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗼 𝟯: You often miss more school activities and family dinners. Constantly playing catchup.  You are never sure if you are done, but staying home with kids is never an option.  On top of that, you still put your heart into work, hoping to be a role model for the kids. Don't make single moms keep having to prove that their situation doesn't set them back.  "𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴?"  Other employees may have other things going on in their lives too, but they usually don't get the brunt of unconscious bias as much as single moms do. * To #singlemoms, we do do great work - in home and in our careers. You are allowed to have purpose and passion in life.  Don't forget your value just because some do.  Celebrate life and motherhood.  If you can, build communities of support around you. Oh! And if you left 3 ceiling light bulbs burnt out for weeks on end, clutter at the corners keep piling, and often forgot to check if your kid packed properly for school, with library books past the due date, I see you. You've got this. ------------------------- 👋 For #leadership , #workingmom, #redefininglimits  #keepingitreal >> follow Andrea T.  #undilutedbyAT

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲. I wrote of the realities of #singlemomlife because sometimes we don't peel behind the curtain enough and then tend to sweep easily over issues. That nagging feeling is still at the back of some people's heads I reckon, "𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯?" 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗲. The truth is #singlemoms are great to have on your team. (I'm not saying go put yourself in this situation to get all this.) But this is the type of person that emerges or with some or similar traits: 1. 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝘁 - In all forms and fashions, in their own versions, they display some form of grit. Simply because, there was no option to give up.     2. 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 - I had to relook new perspectives, and often take nothing to make it into something for the family.      So we did things like eating tapioca chips instead of rice on a day I was exhausted to meal plan and scoured flea markets for art materials and toys so I didn't have to spend a ton when expenses were tight.  We call it "treasure hunting" and now are often on the look out for thrift sales.     3. 𝗟𝗼𝘄 𝗕𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 - There is no time to go roundabout games, play politicking drama for the ego.  Single moms got to get things done and then move on to their second and third shifts at home.  It also meant creating boundaries and cutting out clutter in life that wasn't serving us.     4. 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 - When you learn to dance with the fire and storm, you learn to let it all in.  You can then fully break into life and live from understanding that it's not always sunshine and rainbows. That joy and gratitude are states we choose for ourselves, not something external circumstances can dictate.     5. 𝗕𝗼𝗹𝗱 & 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 - I wouldn't have learnt to do a lot of things if I didn't have to step out of my comfort zone daily. As a result, I learnt a lot of what I am fearful of.    e.g. Cooking, social media and learnt about platforms, talked to people more about my work, learnt to ask for help and feedback better.  Steep learning curves were well.. just common training ground after a while.  And today, I'm learning more about my relationship with money. The story is quite literally how you choose to write it. Like I said in my earlier post, mommies, you've got this. #toughconversations ------------------------- 👋 For #leadership , #workingmom,  #navigatingchange,  >> follow Andrea T.  #undilutedbyAT #beyondlemonade

Interesting relevant article as I approach 65.

I loved this article for long-distance grandparents. This is another side of globally mobile families - those left behind. Seeing the increase in support for them, helping each side of the long-distance family relationships better understand each other, is wonderful. "If you lived near your grandchildren, you’d likely be spending time and money creating memories with them. From a distance, you can’t enjoy trips to the park or weekend family dinners. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t carve out time during your week to connect with them though!...Whether you are a distance grandparent or not, your experience as a grandparent depends on how much effort you put into the relationships with your adult children and grandchildren. If you want a close, lasting relationship with your grandchild, you need to commit to making the effort. But as long-distance grandparents around the globe will tell you, the reward for that effort is priceless." Read the full article here: https://lnkd.in/gMCrBCfK .

In honor of Mother's Day, we asked a couple of mothers from our network to share their experience with motherhood and how they combine it with a job in logistics. You can read their perspective in our latest blogpost: https://lnkd.in/ebwGDDrw

Last week, I met Mary, an 82-year-old who was reluctant to leave her home of 45 years. As we walked through her house, she kept saying, "I'm just not ready for this." It hit me then - our job isn't just about logistics. It's about understanding the emotional weight of these transitions. Here's what I've learned about compassion in senior care after years in this field: 1. It's about listening more than talking. Mary needed someone to hear her concerns, not just offer solutions. 2. Patience is crucial. These decisions take time, and rushing only adds stress. 3. Sometimes, compassion means gently challenging resistance. It's about finding the balance between empathy and necessary action. 4. Family dynamics can be complex. Being a neutral, compassionate presence can ease tensions. 5. Small gestures matter. Remembering a client's grandchild's name or their favorite book can make a world of difference. The truth is, this job is tough. There are days when it's emotionally draining. But it's also incredibly rewarding. Mary eventually decided to move. On moving day, she hugged me and said, "Thank you for making this bearable." That's why we do what we do. Compassion isn't always easy, but it's always necessary in this line of work. What are your experiences with compassionate care? How have you seen it make a difference? #SeniorCare #Compassion #CaringTransitions

What is the mother? What is the position of the mother? What Motherhood Role In Family? Understanding the Essence and Role of Motherhood Motherhood is a profound and multifaceted concept that extends beyond biology, encompassing a spectrum of roles and responsibilities within society. At its core, the term "mother" evokes nurturing, compassion, and a unique connection with offspring. Biologically, a mother is an individual who gives birth to a child, a process that marks the beginning of a lifelong bond. However, the essence of motherhood transcends biology. Adoptive mothers, stepmothers, and other caregivers also play vital roles in nurturing and shaping the lives of those under their care. read my full article. thanks like share to all. https://rb.gy/5xzoi2

Title: Cultivating Connection: The Heart of Caring for Aging Parents In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the demands of our professional and personal lives. However, amidst the chaos, let us not forget the importance of prioritizing our relationships with our aging parents. Let us make a conscious effort to cultivate connection each and every day, for it is these moments of connection that sustain us through the ups and downs of life. As professionals, we have the privilege and the responsibility to lead by example – to show compassion, empathy, and respect not only in the workplace but also within our families. By prioritizing connection with our aging parents, we not only honor their legacy but also enrich our own lives in ways we never thought possible. In closing, let us commit to cultivating connection with our aging parents each and every day. Let us cherish the moments we have together, and let us strive to create new memories that will sustain us for years to come. Together, let us embrace the heart of caregiving and forge bonds that will withstand the test of time.

One of the areas I specialize in is helping senior living organizations be known about before they are needed. Have you had a great experience with finding elder care for those you love? Where did you look? Share your experience in the comments.