Stop the Madness

O dear god, is there no end to it? First Farrah, then what’s-his-name, then Mrs. Slocombe, and now this:

OSCAR MEYER, the wienie king, is dead. The man who made the world safe for bologna has passed. A giant who walked among us, who gave his all to the processed meat universe, is no more.

I don’t know what I’m going to do if anybody else dies, my mourning veil is getting all tatty as it is.