I’ve already posted in lone parents but no replies and I’ll be honest - I really need a whinge tonight, nothing else needed [ smile]

I love my children so much but … I want some time away, some proper time away, not a few snatched hours, a full day, preferably a weekend, where I don’t need to worry about dashing back, can explore somewhere new, can wander and be me and soak it all in.

And it isn’t realistic for it to happen. No family to help, it’s a huge massive ask for friends, and I just need to wait until they are old enough to be self sufficient but realistically that’s going to be a decade or more!

So we fly first thing tomorrow on a family holiday (me, hubby and two kids <6).

A week ago I started with cold and have had horrid sinus/general cold symptoms. Went to the doctors got a steroid spray (they were thoroughly disinterested as I didn’t have a temperature) but the sinus pain was so bad I felt sick. The steroid spray did very little, I’ve been struggling all week. Doesn’t seem to be improving and awful post nasal drip (tmi sorry). I just feel rubbish but it’s been a week now usually I shake things off or they at least improve. I’ve spent today in bed covered in Vicks and felt awfully sick.

I said to hubby I didn’t think I’d manage it tomorrow. I struggle with my sinuses on planes at the best of times and it can be really painful. He looked at me like I was nuts because it’s ’just a cold’.

We have insurance but given I’m ’not that unwell’ and the doctors shrugged it off I doubt we’d be able to claim on it. Hubby thinks I’m at the end of it and will start to feel better in the next couple of days so should just push through. I do push through things quite well usually but I just feel grotty and so disappointed that it’s a week in and I’m still this rubbish!

I have a lovely male friend I have been friends with for a long time. He has discussed his life and I have discussed mine snd my past relationship problems with him. He has been having a bad time lately. A bereavement. He is a lovely person and I think I could possibly see a romantic aspect to us if only he would get his teeth sorted. He dresses very well. I know he has talked about this but honestly, he needs to act. If he did, I think i would be interested in pursuing our friendship to a romantic level but I just don't know how to bring this up without seeming like a superficial cow! It is life! His teeth are bad and unfortunately we are judged on our appearance. No nasty comments please. I really like him but I don't know how to bring this up in a delicate manner without hurting him and ruining the friendship we have.

I have recently had surgery and I am pretty immobile … just about get around on crutches indoors. Friends (m and f married couple with 10 year old daughter) wanted to visit me at my home. I’m not really up to guests to be honest but they more or less invited themselves. I agreed and they said they would arrive around 11am and stay until about 3pm (they live a couple of hours drive away from me). Since this timing clearly spanned over lunchtime I thought it was only fair to warn them I wasn’t really up to making a meal for them, which is something I usually always do when they visit a few times a year. The wife says oh that’s not a problem we will bring something with us. i thought oh that will be nice … a bit of company and something nice to eat brought in!
Well they all arrived carrying big cool bag and busied themselves putting things in my fridge etc. We chatted for a while and then wife stood up and said she would fix lunch… checking with me where I kept my plates etc. whilst I remained sat in the lounge. When everything is plated … individual pots of salad, wrapped up sandwiches etc. kind of picnic style and she announced it was ready, I suddenly realised that she had only put out 3 plates for them and had not included me! She then turned and said ‘Oh are you going to make yourself something and join us?”
I was so shocked I just mumbled oh I will make myself some toast. And then sat there with them eating a couple of slices of toast whilst they had their individually plated picnic goodies! The funny thing is I truly believe they thought they were being considerate bringing their own food so I didn’t have to bother cooking.
I can sort of laugh about it but I am also gobsmacked they could think that was ok! However, now looking back I guess I did make an assumption that they would bring something for me to eat too. AIBU? Love to hear people’s thoughts on this!

Just what the title says really…every year I have my kids, my partner, my parents, my sister, nieces, and their partners and kids for Christmas Day, when we have a big roast and lots of presents. It’s lovely but SUCH a lot of stress (for me! I do all the cooking for 10+), and as my parents are in their eighties now, I do all their gift shopping, too. So…We’ve decided this year that we’re not doing presents, other than for our own kids. Instead we’re going to concentrate on the (hopeful!) joy of spending time together. I’m also not doing a big roast, and instead we’re having a luxury buffet, with cold meats, salmon, lovely salads, gorgeous puddings etc. so I can lay the lot out and leave them all to it! I’m hoping the lead up, preparation and day itself will be a lot less work for me, and we’ll ball enjoy it just the same. Anyone else changing things a bit this year?

AI created the title for this and it’s so ridiculous I didn’t want to change it!

I was just hanging my washing out (to get darked on 😆) when I heard this eerie high pitched sound like an out of tune violin.

It lasted a good 90 seconds then stopped for five minutes then started again for about 20 seconds and seemed to reverberate round and surround the whole area.
It was really loud and spooky and I was scared witless because I live in a rural area with only a few neighbours and surrounded by fields.
We do back onto a railway line so the most logical assumption was it was something to do with that.

I’ve lived in my house nearly 20 years and never heard it before, my DP was inside with the windows closed and I thought he must have heard something but he looked confused when I came inside and asked and said he hadn’t - despite the garden being close to the bedroom window where the washing line is.

I googled and from what I can find it says it could be a “flange squeal” from the trains which sounds very rude and made me giggle but also mightily relieved it might be an explanation.
Has anyone else heard similar to what I’m describing and do they know if that’s what it could be?

It was really freaky and with DP saying he didn’t hear it I’m worried I’m either hearing things or it was aliens playing tricks on me whilst I was outside alone in the dark.

Taking babies, toddlers and small children to music festivals is not good parenting.
A) loud - permanent hearing damage
B) drugs / drink mean - especially when darkness falls - it’s not a good environment for children to be in
C) dust. The dust gets in your nose and throat and lungs and is very harmful for more vulnerable babies / toddlers. All the adults I was with yesterday had sore throats and blocked noses from this
D) selfish. You might want to be there but your baby does not
I love a festival but seeing babies there makes me sad for them

What do I do now? Never enter the lounge again?

18 months ago started dating a man. Lovely guy I'd known a while through a circle of friends, and we tentatively started something which became quite intense quite quickly, in that he was round my place more nights than he wasn't, we fell in love and started talking about the future all within the first 4 months. Like, ridiculously happy. He's kind, funny, caring and we've been absolutely crazy about each other. Everyone happy for us, friends loving it, his family and I get on really well, etc.

For context, I separated from STBXH almost 3 years ago, divorce imminent, though we're amicable. I LOVED living alone for the first time in 13 years (no kids, very sadly). XDH and I were both on level ground when we met at the time so it felt easy, both with our own place, both functioning adults at the time.

New DP, however, had been living with parents again following relationship breakdown (not his fault, I know the story). When I asked him after a particularly happy spell if he wanted to trial living together, all was great. Stuff arrived at my place, he began contributing, so far so good.

Except it soon became apparent he has no adulting experience whatsoever. He had to be shown multiple times how to use the washer, for example, and how to deal with suppliers and employers. He does try but he's just not great at the daily stuff and asks for help and prompts a lot. The dynamic between us obviously changed completely.

I love him but I'm quietly, slowly starting to resent his presence in my house, which I'd hoped would become ours. It honestly feels like I'm having to parent a grown man, and it's not attractive. I've talked to him about it, and he's actively trying to do more and be more helpful but he's such a sensitive soul it's hard to tell him it's not helped much. It almost feels like weaponised incompetence at this point.

He's on holiday with friends currently (booked over a year ago and I opted not to go) and I've so enjoyed having my place to myself, the reduction in mental load and the peace. I feel horribly guilty for it, but much as I care for him I'm not looking forward to his return and the return to having to do the brainwork and adulting for two people.

What do I do, at this point? I'd hate to throw away the things that we have/had. I know it's my fault for suggesting he move in, and I'd love to be able to go back to to happiness we had when we were just dating, but I know we can't turn the clock back. Is this broken?

AIBU to think it's hardly worth even going to a theme park on a sunny day unless you want to pay the £300 extra for a fast pass?
The queues are absolutely awful, and it's very hard for the dc to understand that although it looks like we'll be on the next turn, a dozen people come through woth a fast pass and teh queue doesn't move at all.
It just feels beyond the reach of a normal (but expensive) day out, and is now in the realms of a once every two years thing if you want to buy the passes?

Just that really I am looking for something that says effortless, and I don't wear dresses often, so it also has to be fairly classic and not a 'trend'.
I'd love some that could be for 'smart casual work' and some for holiday even better if can work for both scenarios
Size 6-8, 5'5
I'm 50 but feel 35

DSis and I are very very close. We speak multiple times a day and share every little thing. Our DCs are born 4 months apart from each other. DN is older than my DS

DSis is due to return to work full time next month. I've tried to be as supportive as I can so far in the run up. She feels very guilty for starting off DN at nursery a couple of months ago (to make sure he settles in well). Lots of family saying he's too young for 10 hours at nursery at 8 months etc. But I know the guilt from when I was contemplating the same for DD (now 3). In the end I chose to be a SAHM. DSis also has that option open to her but doesn't want to do that. And so I've told her she's making the right decision for her family, DN will get to have so many experiences that she won't be able to give him at home, she will be refreshed and a better mum for it etc. Everything I can think of. But really, I feel sad for DN. But I would never say that to my DSis because the whole thing is hard enough as it is.

Anyway, she also sleep trained DN (closing the door and letting him sleep on his own, if he cries they don't intercede) from 7 months. Again, I was super supportive, but internally I felt sad for DN. Initially DN was great at this and so it was easy to be supportive. For the past month, he's been screaming in his cot and DSis puts her air pods in and calls me to ignore the noise.

And then she keeps screenshotting her photos from DN's nursery app with photos of DN looking miserable (her words, not mine, although I do agree) and his face swollen from crying. She keeps saying how sad he looks, she thinks he's depressed, she feels like a monster etc. I said its just early days and he'll enjoy it the more used to it he gets.

And then she's taken his comforter away from him that he uses to sleep because she doesn't want him to get too dependent on it as she feels nursery just give it to him all the time. And he cries hysterically now because he wants it.

I think if I didn't have children of my own around the same age, I'd be able to handle this better. I am the total opposite to DSis - I co sleep (please no judgement, it works for us, we all get sleep and we like it), I cuddle DCs to sleep, I think it's ok to have a comforter. I think each to their own and everyone has to do what works for them. Maybe it's hormones/I'm too wet/ emotional, I don't know. But I just can't handle it anymore. And on top to keep saying to her she's doing the right thing... I just don't want to hear all this stuff that I feel is too harsh for a 10 month old and I just don't want to see all these photos of him being upset... but also I don't want to say anything that will make DSis feel bad about her decisions when she already feels guilty. What do I do? :(

Wondering if I should opt for c section or not? Please give honest stories of both types of birth

If someone has paid for a family members partner to attend a holiday, paid for their accommodation and activities - for this person to then say “I don’t want to go” a few days before. Is this rude?

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m starting to feel like I’m being unreasonable, but I’m not sure.
My husband earns around £4,000 a month and I earn around £1,500. I only work 3 days a week because our youngest isn’t at nursery yet, so increasing my hours isn’t really an option at the moment.
We don’t have a mortgage, but my husband wants me to take over the council tax and electricity, which come to around £500 a month combined.
I already pay approximately £500 a month for groceries, as well as paying for our two children’s activities, days out, clothes, and various other expenses for them.
When we go on holiday, say a £4,000 holiday, I’ll usually contribute around £1,000. Even that is difficult for me on my income.
My husband says he runs out of money every month, but the problem is that I have no idea where his money is going. He doesn’t seem willing to sit down and go through the finances with me and explain what he’s spending it on.
What really bothers me is that he somehow has the money for an annual £1,000 golf trip, while telling me that he doesn’t have enough money and that I should take on more household bills.
I’m not saying he shouldn’t have hobbies or spend money on himself. But given the huge difference in our incomes, and the fact that I’m working reduced hours partly because of childcare, I feel like our finances should be looked at as a household rather than simply splitting bills.
Am I being unreasonable for thinking he should be contributing significantly more to the household expenses?

I've added photos of my land title (left hand side) and neighbours land title (right hand side), and screenshot of where I plan to build. The black lines are my intended extension, the red dashed lines show where my fence sits.

If I extend as full width of the home, I will block half of my garage, which is fine as I don't use my garage for my car.

Land registry shows that half of shared driveway is within my boundary, but neighbour has right of access, and vice versa with his.

Where it gets murky is, is where does the shared boundary end? For example, you will see from the Google maps screenshot, the neighbour has also extended (perhaps decades ago), and it is full width before the diagonal bit.

The registry states this: "The land tinted pink on the filed plan has the benefit of rights of drainage through the drains and sewers lying under adjoining land leading into the main sewer and a right of way over the part of the side passageway not included in the title."

Any help would be appreciated here.

P.S. A house opposite has done exactly what I plan to do: they have extend out and full width of house amd blocked half of their garage.

Im not really sure what to do about this and I might be being unreasonable but I honestly dont know

My ex is getting married in a couple of months and me and our children have been invited, we actually got on really well until quite recently and I thought everything was fine between us

Im 35 weeks pregnant now and obviously the baby will be here by the wedding, I was told by his wife to be that the baby isnt invited which I understand its their wedding and they can invite who they want but I dont feel comfortable leaving my baby for the whole day when they will only be a newborn

She has also said she doesnt want the children to be "unaccompanied" because their dad will obviously be busy getting married and wont be able to watch them the whole time

I dont really understand what she expects me to do because if I bring the baby then apparently thats not ok, but if I dont bring the baby then im expected to leave a newborn somewhere and still go to the wedding?

I could obviously just not go but then the children would miss their dads wedding which I dont think is fair on them either

Ive tried to speak to my ex about it but hes basically saying he doesnt want any drama and that we should just work something out, which is easier said than done

The children are excited about the wedding and have already been talking about it, so I dont want to tell them they cant go because his wife to be doesnt want my baby there

I dont want to cause a problem for them or make their wedding about me, I just dont see how this is meant to work

If you were the wife to be would you expect the mum to leave a newborn at home for this or if you were me would you just say no and not go?

Maybe im being dramatic but I honestly dont feel comfortable leaving the baby and I dont think thats an unreasonable thing to say

Over 20 years married, we have been through a tough patch (usual culprits; young children, work pressures, elderly parents etc.) but are (hopefully!!) coming out the other side.

Our closeness has drifted, we've lost a lot of the affection in our relationship and have been more like housemates for a while.

However, we've talked and are endeavouring to prioritise our relationship and reconnect. Can you suggest ways to help us do this please?

Examples of suggestions I've thought of are:

• making sure we tell each other 'I love you' every day
• having a prolonged hug every morning
• going for a walk together in the evening to chat about the day
• sending each other little messages just to make the other person smile
• sitting beside each other on the couch rather than different chairs (or different rooms...)

What things help you feel close to your partner?

My late FiL who I never met, left school at 15, fell into the right crowd while he was doing a labouring job and ended up with a little empire.

There is something in place that is not quite a trust. It allows SiL to choose to live frugally without working, and has enabled my husband and his brothers an income which supplements their incomes.

Their children will benefit after their parents’ deaths when whatever is in place will be dissolved.

My husband has his own business as well.

My stepchild is 18 and will go to university next month. I also have another stepchild who is 13.

The eldest has asked that now that they are an adult that they want to look at my husband’s finances. Essentially they want an account of any money that is spent on my children and they wanted my husband’s estate to be reimbursed from my share of the house when he dies.

Now Mumsnet always asks, no I was not the other woman, my ex meets more than his share of his financial responsibilities and I also work and rent out a house that I own in my home country that I will eventually return to. Husband’s ex is comfortable and I don’t believe this has come from her.

Inevitably my husband subsidises our life.

This has been a bitter blow to my husband and he doesn’t see how his relationship with his child(ren) will recover.

Welcome to Thread 3! 🥳

Firstly, a huge thank you to @ovahere for getting us started and looking after the first two threads. It's been lovely seeing everyone sharing news, spoilers and enabling each other already! ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy, we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

✨ We're only on thread 3 and some members already have three advent calendars on the way 🎅 I think it's safe to say advent season is officially underway! 🎄

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed and available to order.
https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/beauty-advent-calendar

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists

Cult Beauty
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Elle
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Fortnum & Mason
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/fortnum-mason-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.fortnumandmason.com/beauty-advent-calender-sign-up-2026

Boots (including the new fragrance calendar) https://www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges (Beauty & Fragrance)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3_-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH

LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Anthropologie (24 and 12 day)
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/beauty-advent-calendar

Vogue
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/pages/vogue-festive-calendar-2026-waitlist

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers

Rather than making the opening post a mile long, our friend Mary has a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁

Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although judging by threads 1 and 2, that seems unlikely! 😄)

Trying to cover all bases.

I’m not talking the “oh yeah I whack a teabag in my baggage”, i’m talking the type of stuff most people would never dream of taking.

I’m late 30s, single parent to one dd age 4. I started talking with someone I knew from university, a few months ago. Long story short, we were due to meet today at 11am for a coffee and brunch and he messaged at 10:24 to say he couldn’t make it as he slept outside last night after a party.

Im not so much emotionally hurt as I am just feeling a bit of, i don’t know, sadness? My lovely little girl is with her dad today and he took her out early so I could have time to get ready. It wasn’t an official date but obviously having not met a man one to one like this for years I was reasonably nervous and I took my time getting ready and choosing what to wear. We’ve also had lots of flirty messages and so on. I was on the way when I got the message.

More than anything I just feel a bit shit about the fact I’m almost 40, single and all dressed up with literally no place to go. So I’m sitting in the car for a moment where I’ve pulled over to write this. I can’t work out my feelings, just feel mostly really stupid and my child free time is so precious and I’ve let him his man do this to me.

Have you heard of the SDA church before, or are you unaware of its existence? Do you have any questions about what we believe in, or anything random you want to ask me?

Long-term Mumsnetter - posting this on a new account. I’m a woman in my late 20s looking for a few breaks from cleaning my house this afternoon as I get ready for some guests tomorrow. Ask away!

We are nearing our 1000-post limit on the original thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/education/5561878-jason-arday-cambridge-plagiarist?reply=153910946

I have now removed the question mark after "plagiarist".

I can't believe the sequel will be as good as the original, but you never know...

This morning I tripped over the doorframe, fell into the house, pulled the curtain pole down, broke two toes and ended up at the doctors with a cut on my leg that wouldn't stop bleeding. All this in front of the guys working on my house who witnessed me crying and swearing like a trooper. Also cried in front of the nurse. And the neighbours witnessed it all too. I have to move now don't I? Come and tell me your 'I fell over' tales of woe to make me feel better please.