EFT’s Attachment Injury Resolution

Model (AIRM): The Path to Repairing

Broken Bonds and Rebuilding Trust

Based on the work of Dr. Sue Johnson in Emotionally Focused Therapy -

and a specific model of forgiveness and restoring trust.
Presented by: Lorrie Brubacher, M Ed, ICEEFT Certified Trainer with gratitude to
Dr. Lillian Buchanan, co-developer of AIRM interactive video training program © 2014
lorrie@lbrubacher.com © Brubacher (2014). These slides may
www.lbrubacher.com only be copied for noncommercial use
www.gcceft.com with appropriate referencing.

Following the presentation

participants will be able to:
1. Describe love as an attachment Bond.

2. Identity the Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy stages of

change.

3. Define the construct of an “Attachment Injury”

4. Identify key steps of the EFT Attachment Injury Resolution Model

(AIRM) for forgiveness and rebuilding trust.

5. Recognize two key elements of how these steps are taken:

a. Facilitating increasingly deeper levels of experiencing.

b. Shaping enactments that create forgiveness and reconciliation.

 Outline
1. Set the context: 

• Love is an attachment bond 

• EFCT Process for Repairing tattered and broken
bonds.

2. Define the construct of “Attachment Injury”

3. Review the steps in the Attachment Injury Resolution

Model (AIRM)

4. See the AIRM in action


• deepening emotional experience 

• shaping healing enactments

www.iceeft.com www.drsuejohnson.com

Emotionally Focused Therapy and

the Revolutionary new Science of
Romantic Relationships
website resources

www.gcceft.com www.lbrubacher.com
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples
Dr. Sue Johnson

accompanying workbook

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Books for Couples by
Dr. Sue Johnson
 Attachment as a Theory of Love

Proximity
Maintenance

Safe Secure
Haven Base
Separation
Distress

As put forth by John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Cindy Hazan

and Phil Shaver

Attachment Theory:
Emotional accessibility and responsiveness
are the key ingredients that define the
security of a bond and the quality of a
relationship.
The basic attachment questions about attachment needs:
– Can I count on you, depend on you?
– Will you respond to me when I need you?
– Do I matter?
– Do you need me?
– A.R.E. you there for me?
Accessible
Responsive
Emotionally Engaged
 Love sense: The Revolutionary New
Science of Romantic Relationships

• Adult romantic love is an attachment bond, just like the

one between mother and child. p.20

• Emotional dependency has been pathologized, but

effective dependence is our greatest source of
strength. p. 21

The EFT Steps and Stages

Stage One: De-escalation
Stage Two: Restructuring 

the Bond (Beginning a new dance -
unresolved attachment injuries are likely
to come alive)

Stage Three: Consolidation

 The EFT Steps and Stages
Stage One: De-escalation
Step 1. Alliance & Assessment

Step 2. Identify negative interactional cycle and

attachment issues

Step 3. Access underlying emotions supporting reactive

moves in the cycle.

Step 4. Frame problem – cycle, underlying attachment

needs and fears

The EFT Steps and StagesStage

Two: Restructuring the Bond
(Steps 5 - 7 are done twice - for the Withdrawer-Re-
engagement process and the Blamer Softening process)

Step 5. Access implicit needs, fears, models of self.


Deepen, distill and disclose

Step 6. Promote acceptance by other – expand

dance

Step 7. Structure emotional engagement – express

attachment needs – antidote /bonding events.
 The EFT Steps and StagesStage
Three: Consolidation
Step 8. Integrate new cycle with old problems -
Support the emergence of new solutions to
pragmatic issues and differences.

Step 9. Consolidate new, more responsive positions

and cycles and stories of secure attachment.

What is an attachment injury?

”One partner violates the expectation that the other will offer
comfort and caring in times of danger and distress.”
"That event changed everything 

between us.

"It just broke me.”

"Never again can I trust him/her!”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

• Redefines the relationship as insecure.

• Shatters the attachment bond
• A single event with a disproportionate influence

that changes everything
 An Attachment Injury
• An attachment injury is an event “where one partner
violates the expectation that the other will offer comfort
and caring in times of danger and distress.” 

(p.145, Johnson, Makinen and Millikin, 2001).

• Incidents in which one partner responds or fails to

respond at times of urgent need seem to influence the
quality of an attachment relationship disproportionately.
(Simpson & Rholes, 1994).

• “What matters most to Pain Central is not the

philosophical category a slight belongs to but the level of
jeopardy it threatens……….like a shattered knee or a
scratched cornea, relationship ruptures deliver agony.” 

(p. 95, Lewis, Amini & Lannon, 2000, A General Theory of Love).

An Attachment Injury:
• a betrayal of trust or abandonment at a crucial moment of need
• a specific incident in which one partner is inaccessible and
unresponsive in the face of the other partner’s urgent need for …
support and caring.

• a relationship trauma that defines the relationship as insecure.

• “a single shattering events” - a “sudden snap” 

– Love Sense

• has “disproportionate influence” - changes everything

• “indelible imprint” (Herman) ptsd symptoms - only way out is through

• a “never again will I trust...” moment

•If unresolved, attachment injuries block the repair process and
prevent development of trust and a safe and secure bond. –
(Johnson, Makinen & Millikin, 2001)
 The “Attachment Injury Resolution
Model” (AIRM)
Johnson, Makinen & Millikin, (2001) developed a model in the
Emotionally Focused Approach for resolving relationship injuries
that block the process of relationship repair in couple therapy
and validated the effectiveness of this AIRM.
The Attachment Injury Resolution Model is a Stage Two
process. Attachment Injuries are acknowledged in the negative
cycle in Stage One, and are resolved in Stage Two (after de-
escalation and sufficient withdrawer engagement).
A model within a model - an 8 step repair process specifically
addressing the injurious incident - a series of enactments
between injured and injuring partners - reaching and responding
- a type of apology that has the capacity to restructure an
attachment bond shattered by a “sudden snap” of broken trust.

AIRM
(Attachment Injury Resolution Model)
Therapist Focus and Interventions for
each step in the process of
Forgiveness and Resolution of an
Attachment Injury
 The 8 Steps of the AIRM

Cycle De-escalation Related to the Injury

1. Injured partner articulates injury & impact.
2. Offending partner may engage in reactive responses 

(minimizing, denying, defending, discounting).
3. Injured partner integrates narrative and emotion and 

accesses attachment fears and longings associated with 

injury event.
4. Offending partner understands significance of the event 

and acknowledges the partner’s pain and suffering.

The 8 Steps of the AIRM

New Cycles of Emotional Engagement - Forgiveness

and Reconciliation
5. Injured partner moves toward a more integrated articulation 

of the injury and ties it to attachment bond.
6. Offending partner empathically engages, acknowledges 

responsibility and expresses empathy, regret and/or r 

remorse.
Consolidation
7. Injured partner asks for reparative comfort & caring.
8. Bonding event which is an antidote to the traumatic 

experience. Relationship is redefined as a safe haven.
 AIRM goes Beyond Forgiveness
Repairing injuries is much bigger than cognitive forgiveness
and letting go of resentment.
Repairing an attachment injury is finding the willingness to risk
again. The Healing Injuries Conversation is an emotional
process to forgive the most important people in your life and
being willing to put yourself in their hands and trust again.
AIRM goes beyond forgiveness to resolution and secure
bonding.
The key element in the change process is how the therapist
shapes emotionally engaged responsiveness between
partners.

Case Illustration of AIRM through the

entire process
Process questions the therapist is asking herself as she
prepares for Attachment Injury Resolution:

• Is the couple sufficiently de-escalated?

• Is the offending partner sufficiently engaged

to participate in the AIRM?
• Is the injured partner engaged with primary

experience?
 Heightening emotional engagement
with R.I.S.S.S.C.
R: The therapist intentionally REPEATS key words and phrases for emphasis.
“Emotional handles” = poignant emotion-laden words and phrases. “Crushed” or
“feeling disregarded.” Repeating deepens the experience.
I: The therapist uses IMAGES or word pictures that evoke emotions more than
abstract labels do.
S: The therapist frames responses to clients in SIMPLE, and succinct phrases.
S: The therapist speaks in a SLOW pace to deepen client’s emotional
experiencing.
S: The therapist uses a SOFT, low, soothing tone of voice to create safety and to
encourage.
C: The therapist orders, distils and uses CLIENTS’ words and phrases in a
supportive and validating way.

Prerequisite: De-escalation
Markers –
Partners:
• recognize and own habitual positions in the cycle
• can access softer emotions underlying negative dance
• can link partner’s behaviour to their own behaviour and
emotions
• can link own behaviour to partner’s behaviour and emotions
• have a coherent story of the negative cycle as their common
enemy
• have a new picture of their partner - as more fearful than
dangerous and uncaring
• can recognize the cycle and interrupt it together
• may still be angry and mistrusting, but not as hostile
 Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Study Conclusions

• The general EFT model for resolving these impasses is

valid.
• EFT can impact distress for these couples caught in

forgiveness dilemmas.
• Change is stable.
• Compound injuries in less trusting couples – need more

sessions.
– Makinen, J. and Johnson, S. (2006) Journal of Consulting
and Clinical Psychology, 74, pp.1055-1064

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Study Conclusions
Resolver couples (63%) showed
• More disclosing of needs, less blaming and withdrawing and
significantly deeper levels of experiencing. (Parallels softening
research)
• Significant improvement on DAS (Both in non-distressed 

range.) Significant improvements for forgiveness.
• Both groups reported less pain. No significant difference.
• Results stable at 3 years follow up

Non Resolvers showed

• No significant changes on DAS, forgiveness.
• Lower trust at outset.
• Compound injuries (Power of faith - Johnson & Talitman, 1977)
 AIRM References
Johnson, S. M., Makinen, J., & Millikin, J. (2001). Attachment 

injuries in couple relationships: A new perspective on impasses

in couples therapy. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 27, 

145-155.
Makinen, J., & Johnson, S. (2006). Resolving attachment injuries in

couples using emotionally focused therapy: Steps toward
forgiveness and reconciliation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology, 74, 1055–1064.
Halchuk, R.E., Makinen, J.A. and Johnson, S.M (2010). Resolving

Attachment Injuries in Couples Using Emotionally Focused 

Therapy: A Three-Year Follow-Up. Journal of Couple & 

Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational 

Interventions, 9, 31-47.
Zuccarini, D. J., Johnson, S. M., Dalgleish, T. L. & Makinen, J. A. 

(2013). Forgiveness and reconciliation in emotionally focused
therapy for couples: The client change process and therapist

interventions. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 39, 148-162.

Thank you for attending this workshop

on the EFT Attachment Injury Resolution
Model!

For further training you may order the 


AIRM interactive video training program, created by L. Brubacher and L.
Buchanan, available through www.iceeft and
www.attachmentinjuryrepair.com
Tap into the Magic of the Forgiveness Process:
How to use an evidence-based approach to
help your couples get unstuck
Tap into the Magic of the Forgiveness Process:
How to use an
www.iceeft.com
evidence-based approach to
www.attachmentinjuryrepair.com
help your couples get unstuck
www.gcceft.com

The Attachment Injury Resolution Model (AIRM) Interactive Video Training

Program is based on the work of Dr. Sue Johnson. The AIRM is a clearly
delineated and empirically validated model in Emotionally Focused Therapy
for resolving relationship injuries that block the process of relationship repair
www.attachmentinjuryrepair.com
in couple therapy.
www.iceeft.com
www.gcceft.com
Endorsed by Dr. Sue Johnson and International Centre for Excellence in EFT
The Attachment Injury Resolution Model (AIRM) Interactive Video Training
Program is based on the work of Dr. Sue Johnson. The AIRM is a clearly
"Lillian and Lorrie have really tapped into great creativity here – therapists will really learn from
delineated
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– love the Emotionally Focused
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therapy.
“You have made the attachment injury concept, which historically has been overlooked and/or
minimized Endorsed by Dr.come
by therapists, Sue Johnson and that
alive in a way International Centre
research can neverfordo.
Excellence inMakinen,
“ - Dr. Judy EFT
Certified EFT Trainer
"Lillian and Lorrie have really tapped into great creativity here – therapists will really learn from
this lovely creative program – so much work – love the mix of live sessions – text of sessions -
didactic material – exercises and feedback on the screen. Well done – marvellous team of
Brubacher and Buchanan..." - Dr. Sue Johnson
“You have made the attachment injury concept, which historically has been overlooked and/or
minimized by therapists, come alive in a way that research can never do. “ - Dr. Judy Makinen,
Certified EFT Trainer