1|Page

© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved

Introduction
Living from day to day as busy family can be stressful for all members of the family. This often
leads to friction, arguments and sibling rivalry. This collection of articles provides some tips
that can help all members of the family to improve their ability to empathize with others, to
communicate clearly, handle conflicts and how to improve connectedness.

For most parents, the desire to love and provide for their child is as natural as breathing. But
the truth is in this day and age where people are inundated with text messages, social media,
nontraditional work schedules, hundreds of channels on television and increased financial
demands – more parents than ever are struggling to feel truly connected to their child. It is
normal to become slightly removed in your involvement as your child becomes more
independent, but children still need to know they have someone to turn to whenever life
becomes challenging.

We hope this will help your family can become a more peaceful environment where each
member of the family feels supported and that they can have the space they need to do their
own thing while also encouraging more fun times with each other.

2|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Ways to Connect with Your Children
At one point or another all parents fear that they aren’t connecting with their children as well
as they want to. You might start to worry that you don’t know them as well as you should, or
that they may be doing things that you would not recommend. The fear can be almost
paralyzing. The good news is that this problem can be solved, and it isn’t even difficult. By even
wanting to connect with the children in your life, you are already making great strides toward
your goal. It is important to care about them and what goes on around them. Take time to
realize that you’re doing a good thing, and that should help boost your confidence on the
matter.

Talk (and Listen) to Them

The most basic way to connect with your children is to talk to them. Tell them about your day
and ask about theirs. Try to remember everything they tell you. Children have a memory that
just won’t quit sometimes, and they expect you to have the same. Ask them questions. It’s
important for people to feel like the person they are talking to cares about what they have to
say. Asking questions about what they told you it proves you were listening and want to know
more. Don’t expect your kids to tell you everything about themselves in one sitting. It takes
time to build the kind of connection you are looking for, especially with teens and older
children who are still feeling rebellious.

Take an Interest in their Interests

Sometimes just talking doesn’t work for all kids. They may have built their guard up too high to
realize that you just want to help them. In this case it may be a good idea to consider doing
something else together. If your child likes to play video games, ask for the second controller
and play too. Maybe help them with an art project they’re working on. You can try to get
involved in anything they like to do. They may still try to shut you out sometimes, but
eventually you will find something to do together.

Just try not to seem judgmental about their hobbies. If they aren’t hurting anyone, then you
shouldn’t be concerned. If they start to feel that you don’t appreciate what they love, they will
start to push you further away.

Invite Them into Your World

If you can’t find common ground in the things they like to do, maybe you should look for some
in the things you enjoy. It’s not uncommon for children to forget that parents or guardians are
people too. If you’re willing to show them who you are, then perhaps they will open up and do
the same. You can invite them to one of your favorite shows or sporting events. Let them meet
some of your coworkers. If your children are old enough, then you can take them with you to
the gym or your yoga class. Anything can work as long as you can get them interested.

3|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Find a New Hobby
You may find that you simply have no current interests in common with your child. That’s OK. In
this case, you can talk to them about finding something new for the two of you to do together.
Try to find something that neither of you have done and you both find at least mildly
interesting, and start together. Neither of you will be the leader in this activity because no one
has more experience. Even if you find out that you both hated the activity, you at least have a
mutual experience to work with.

You can also make this a family activity. Whether it is building model airplanes or learning to
golf as a family, shared life experiences create greater feelings of connectedness in families.
Make sure the skill or pastime you decide to pursue is something each member of your family is
happy to learn or try. If you are having a hard time coming up with ideas on your own, invite
your children to make suggestions until you each agree on your new hobby.

There’s a Time for Friendship and a Time for Parenting

It’s great to be your child’s friend. The feeling is unmatched. But it can be easy to take it too far.
You should never forget that you are a guardian first. You are there primarily to see to it that
the child in your care is safe and grows up well. A balance must be found between parenting
and friendship. You need your child to trust you enough to tell you about the things going on
around you but also to feel safe enough to seek true guidance from you.

Don’t Get Discouraged

Kids can be difficult. It may seem that no matter what you try, you’re still feeling just as distant
from them as when you started. Don’t give up. They know what you’re trying to do, and on
some level, they appreciate it, even if they don’t make it obvious right now. If nothing else, they
will at least think of you when they face any struggles and remember that at least one person
cares for them. Sometimes that’s enough.

Implement a screen-free dinner

More families than ever spend their dinner time sitting around a television set or playing with
their cell phones. One way to become a more connected parent is by implementing a strict, no-
screen policy for one hour during dinnertime. It may feel strange at first, but as you begin to
make this policy a part of your regular routine, you and your family will naturally begin to open
up more and experience a more connected environment.

Spend one-on-one time with each child

Connecting as a family can be relatively easy for some parents and children, however, more
introverted individuals may need some additional time to truly connect. Having one-on-one
time with each child in your family will allow you each to connect on a deeper and more
meaningful way. Make sure whatever activity you choose to do together includes fun and also
time for private conversation.

4|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Make family night a weekly occurrence
It is not uncommon for adults and children to occasionally feel mentally depleted. An easy way
to respect everyone’s need to unwind and relax without the pressure of conversation and
cooking is by doing a weekly family night, where you rent a movie, order take-out food and just
relax together as a family.

Take an interest in your child’s passions

Being interested in the things your child enjoys may seem intimidating at first, but it can be one
of the most rewarding ways you ever connect with them. If your child is musical it may be a
good idea to sign them up for lessons, if they like to build things a robotics club could help them
fine tune their skills. When you take notice in the things that are important to your child and
give them opportunities to polish their skills, they will feel more connected than ever because
your involvement teaches them that their contribution to your family matters.

If you are struggling to slow down and connect with your children there are countless little
habits you can shift each day to show your child how valued they are. Of course, one of the best
things you could do to foster a more connected relationship is to speak with your child and ask
them how they would enjoy spending their time with you!

5|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Why Family Meetings Are a Great Way to Stay Connected
Communication is the key to living together in harmony. It doesn’t matter if your family is small
(two partners) or large (partners and various children) – family meetings are a great way for a
family to stay connected. Read through this article and see if you can find some ideas which will
help you reconnect and communicate better with your own family.

Relationships can be tough. You may be going along fine when all of a sudden something is said
and misunderstood. Before you know it there’s a rift in your relationship and someone’s
feelings are hurt. Whether you’re a parent or a child, you’ll want to repair you relationship as
quickly as possible.

Family meetings can be used by parents to establish ground rules for the children to follow.
They can teach children or teens how to solve problems with parents role playing with them.
They can also be the perfect time for allowing family members to discuss things which are
important to the family as a whole. Ultimately, they help you stay connected as a family which
will keep the family strong.

Establishing regular family meetings will give everyone in your family a chance to work toward a
central goal. Everyone gets to voice their opinions and help make decisions in a family meeting.
Your child who hasn’t been very good at expressing themselves in the past may finally find their
voice and be willing to make their feelings known.

You decide who to include in your family meeting. It could include your immediate family but if
there’s something that affects your extended family who lives nearby you may want to include
them as well. It is possible you may even want to include people who are renting from you if
what you discuss pertains to them. You make the rules, so you decide who to include.

Try to have an agenda for your family meeting even if it’s just a loose one. Set some ground
rules as far as behavior is concerned. You want everyone to feel safe during the meeting and
not like they’re being attacked. Decide ahead of time to try to keep the meeting short and to
the point. Your goal is to address topics which matter the whole family as well as give everyone
a chance to express their feelings on the topic at hand.

Rather than discussing only problems or behavioral issues, try to use your family meeting as a
time to congratulate your children for doing well in school, for an adult getting a raise or
something else that’s positive. If all you talk about at family meetings are the bad things going
on, no one will want to be at the meeting and they may blow them off. Having positive things to
talk about will help keep people’s attention.

Take a little bit of time during each family meeting to do something or plan something fun.
Keep the family calendar handy so you can see what dates are available for a trip to the zoo, a

6|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
movie or dinner out. Give your family something to look forward to, particularly if everyone has
been trying to do better about working together.

Family meetings can be a great way for a family to stay connected. It also provides a time for
problems to be discussed and congratulations to be made. More importantly, having family
meetings can help keep your family together – which may be the best benefit of having them.

7|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Ways to Improve Family Communication
Healthy communication skills amongst family members can be some of the most difficult and
trying to develop and maintain. They may be directly related to you and have seen you in every
possible situation, but that doesn’t mean finding ways to communicate comes easily. Family
members sometimes tend to be tougher on each other and more open about any and all
feelings they may be having.

While this can sometimes be favorable, it can also lead to conflict, strained relationships, and
undue tension. But since there are no more important ties than the ones you have with your
family members, it is important to work on improving the lines of communication amongst each
other. Below are five ways to improve family communication.

Start with a clean slate – In order to start improving communication, it is important to

start with a clean slate and clear minds. This may take a bit of work up front, starting
with some tough conversations. Starting the process by having some open, raw
conversations and getting everything on the table can be a therapeutic way to start
repairing relationships.

Set goals – Goals help keep you focused on the task at hand and can be used as a
benchmark to work towards. The goals can be as simple as having a text conversation
with every family member once a week or as in-depth as setting family retreats once a
month – it is completely up to the family as to what they’re looking to accomplish.

Participate in team building exercises – When you feel in sync with your family members,
you’re more likely to be open with them about your thoughts and feelings. Team
building exercises can be a great way to build up the trust and confidence in each other
that may have been lost over the years and start working towards a better place. These
exercises don’t have to be put on by some formal establishment or third party; even
simple tasks such as doing trust falls amongst each other can be a great starting point.

Have each member pick a group activity – Even though you’re related, your family
members may be drastically different from you, especially in terms of hobbies and
personal taste. By having everyone pick a group activity to do, you’re not only
acknowledging your differences but celebrating them. Participating in these activities
may even bring about some similarities or common interests that were previously
unknown!

Familial relationships are some of, if not THE, most important relationships of ones life. Even
though they are built on unconditional love, they can still become tarnished and worn

8|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
throughout the years. By making it a priority to improve communication amongst family
members, you will soon see results and be well on your way to overall improved relationships.

Empathy: Teaching Kids to Value Others

Empathy is one of those strange qualities – something almost everyone wants, but few know
how to truly give or receive it. In a world where self-gratification is emphasized, it is in short
supply but high demand. This is all the more reason to teach the next generation what it means
to have empathy for those around them.

What Is Empathy?
Many people confuse sympathy and empathy, but they are two distinct values. Empathy is not
just the ability to understand someone’s feelings; criminals often take advantage of people by
appearing to understand their feelings and subsequently gaining their trust. Empathy is more
than that. Not only is it the ability to recognize how someone feels, but it also values and
respects the feelings of another person. It means treating others with kindness, dignity, and
understanding.

Kids Need to See Adults Show Empathy

While some children are gifted with naturally kind hearts, in most cases kids need to see
empathy modeled by the adults around them. It begins with the way parents relate to their
children. Parents who show an interest in the things that matter to their kids and respond to
emotions in a positive and caring way are teaching the skill of empathy.

Meet Emotional Needs

When children have their emotional needs met, two things happen. They learn how to meet
the emotional needs of others and they are anchored in what they are receiving, meaning that
they are secure enough to give to others when the need arises but first they need to receive. An
empty jug cannot fill a cup.

Talk To Kids About Emotional Needs

Many adults find it hard to talk about emotional needs or anything related to emotions.
Consequently, they spend their lives tiptoeing around the subject of emotions. These are
people who don’t know how to handle the emotions of others and are uncomfortable with any
situation that calls for an emotional response. Sometimes they are afraid of their own emotions
because they have never learned how to deal with emotional needs.

It’s a good idea to talk to kids about emotions and how other people experience them. Give
their emotions names (for example, jealousy, anger, and love) and teach them that these are
normal. Talk to them about how to handle emotions in a positive way and point out situations
where other people are experiencing emotions. Teach them about respecting the emotions of
others and show them how to act in a situation where a response is required.

9|Page
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Look for Real Life Situations to Practice Empathy
There is nothing like a real life example to model what you are teaching. Look for situations that
affect another person and talk to your kids about what it means to the people involved and
how they might feel. For example, if you see an ambulance speed past, talk about how the
family members of the sick person might be feeling.

Play Games
Younger kids in particular love to pretend that they are someone or something else. You can
use these fun times for teaching empathy. Get your kids playing the role of another person. This
might be a character in a book or on TV, or even someone you know who has been through a
significant experience lately. You can act out the story together and ask your kids to stop and
imagine how their character might have been feeling at any given moment. This will focus their
attention on the emotions that another person might experience when in that situation. You
can ask them to make faces that reflect the feelings of their character.

Develop Their Inner Moral Compass

Teaching your kids the difference between right and wrong from a young age gives them a
strong internal moral compass that will direct them to make good choices. In situations that
require a decision, help them to see how our choices and behavior affect others. Talk to them
about how wrongdoing harms others and help them to see the hurt and damage that it causes.
It’s a good idea to talk to them about the little things such as calling a sibling an unkind name
that hurts her feelings or refusing to play with their brother when friends visit. When building a
strong moral foundation, start small and begin with the basics.

Empathetic Kids: Givers Not Takers

By raising your kids to understand and practice empathy, you’re giving them the gift of giving.
In a world where great emphasis is placed on looking out for your own interests, people who
are givers are all too rare. But they are the ones who enjoy the greatest satisfaction from life,
live the most meaningful lives, and enjoy more rewarding relationships. Teaching your kids
empathy is a worthwhile investment for their own futures and for the world they will inhabit.

10 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Some Steps for Resolving Conflict
Relationships are made up of two individuals with different temperaments and
personalities. As a result, disagreements are going to occur. It’s not a matter of if a problem
will arise but how to solve it together.

Take a Break
There is great wisdom in the stop and “count to 10″ advice. This time allows for a time to avoid
reaction that can inflame the situation. Taking a break can be, I think I need to take a walk to
settle down or let me just have some time to myself and let’s come back and work on this. This
does NOT mean storming out or avoiding the problem all together. It’s a cooling down period
to hopefully usher in reason and logic as opposed to reaction and anger.

See the Other Side

Once the strong feelings have settled then take a moment ,if you need to, in order to stop and
look at the situation through the eyes and heart of the person you are arguing with. If you do
this consistently, in time you will grow to understand the person instead of being inclined to
attack them. This takes practice which requires a decision, a choice and eventually is will
become a positive habit.

Find Common Ground

Think about the things you agree on and can find commonality in. If you can outweigh the
negative thoughts with positive ones, you will find it much easier to resolve your conflict. You
can start to remind each other that you are partners rather than enemies.

Really Listen
It’s natural to want to explain your side, be defensive and shut off listening to your
partner. This only alienates and causes hard feelings. Sit and absorb what the other person is
saying. Ask questions about their point of view. Repeat back to them what they are saying in
order to clarify if you are understanding them correctly. This will take the conflict from hostile
back to a place where you actually care what the other person is thinking and feeling. This goes
both ways.

Compromise When Possible

If at all possible, compromise and negotiate. There are times when too much is at stake to give
up your position and find middle ground, but most of the time it is quite manageable to find a
solution that can eventually work for everyone. Work together to find a way for everyone to
feel that the outcome is reasonable.

11 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Let It Go
If you have gotten caught up in a mess that seems impossible to resolve, decide to end it
immediately. If you are in a conflict with someone who is important to you, remind yourself
that the relationship is worth more than being right. Forgive each other and move on. It is
rarely worth winning an argument if you lose an important relationship in the process.
It is important to understand that not all couple’s issues can be resolved easily. A qualified
counselor can help to provide tools and strategies that bring you both back onto safe and
common ground. You are a work in progress and the time spent on nurturing your healthy
relationships will be worth it in the end.

12 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
Teaching Conflict Resolution to Your Children
Children will be children. And if you have more than one in a room, there’s a good bet there will
be an argument or conflict at some point. Teaching conflict resolution to your children will
reduce your frustrations and help bring peace to your home.

One way to address conflict resolution is by using books. Authors of children’s books are able to
write to a child’s level of understanding. They create characters that children can identify with.
The story can be used to describe a conflict between characters as well as demonstrate to
children the best way to resolve that conflict. Once they see a different way to resolve
problems, they’ll be more likely to use those skills the next time they have a conflict.

While you’re reading the story to your children, stop occasionally to discuss what’s going on.
Ask them questions like:

• Have you ever felt that way?

• What have you done in a similar situation in the past?
• How do you think _______ feels about what happened to them?
• What do you think _______ is going to do?
• What would you do?

Continue reading the story and talking about what’s going on in it. Help them understand there
are two sides to every argument or conflict. Ask them about their feelings and how their
feelings might affect what they say or do. You could also ask them how they might resolve
what’s going on in the story before you read that part. Finally, ask them what the character
learned from the situation in the book and how that knowledge could help them solve their
own conflicts.

Talk about appropriate ways to handle conflicts. Remind them to never use violence because
violence never solves a problem; it only creates others. Help them see that talking about a
problem and working toward a resolution together is the best way to resolve a conflict.

Do your best to be a good role model for your children. If you live with other people, you’re
going to have a conflict sooner or later. Remember that your children are watching you. They
want to see how you handle conflicts, even with them – especially once you start teaching
them about it. If you get angry, yell and shout, they are less likely to believe that’s not the right

13 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
way to resolve conflict. Try to remain calm and talk about things rather than letting your
emotions get the best of you.

Here are some steps you may want to model for them:

• When you begin feeling angry or frustrated, stop before you say something you’ll regret.

• Take a deep breath and count to ten.

• Calmly explain how you feel about what happened or was said.

• Listen to what the other person has to say about the subject.

• Think about different solutions to the problem.

• If you can’t reach an agreement which both of you can accept, ask someone not
involved to help you resolve the conflict. Agree to abide by what the third party
suggests.

Once you begin teaching conflict resolution to your children, you may notice less stress and
fussing in your home. Continue to work with them when they have disagreements, model
conflict resolution before them, and your children will be better equipped to handle any
conflicts they have in the future. And isn’t that what parenting is all about – equipping our
children for life outside of your home?

14 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
9 Ways to Deal with Sibling Rivalry
All relationships have moments of tension, disagreement, and problem solving. The family unit
is the first place where a child can learn conflict resolution especially related to sibling
rivalry. One or more of the following tactics can help to bring peace to your home.

1. Older children can participate in caring for a younger sibling. This will encourage your
children to feel involved and contribute to the family. However, it’s important not to “overuse”
your older child by giving him responsibilities that should be left to parents. This can cause
resentment instead of building a bond.

2. Comparing your children should be avoided. Every individual has his strengths and talents
which should be encouraged. This teaches acceptance of and appreciation for being a unique
individual.

3. Encourage conflict resolution without interference. It may be necessary to help set the tone
and create boundaries, but allow siblings to talk things through without you refereeing as much
as possible.

4. Anger needs to be dealt with before a satisfactory resolution can be reached. Set limits as
far as what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Hitting, name-calling, and putting one
another down are not acceptable and you’ll want to step in if your children begin using any of
those tactics. You may not want to act like the police, but it may be necessary at times.

5. Discipline should be done in private and never in front of the other sibling. This avoids one
upmanship-like behavior, which just escalates negativity.

6. It’s important for each sibling to have their own space. If it’s not possible to have separate
rooms, organize the room in such a way that each has ownership of their belongings. Rules
that teach respect for each others’ possessions and space such as “ask-don’t-take” and “clean
up after ourselves” should be established.

7. Spending individual time with each child doing things they enjoy will let them know how
special they are to you. It will also allow your children to have your undivided attention, if only
for a little while.

8. Family meetings can be helpful for letting children voice differences or complaints. They’re
also an opportunity for parents to restate family rules about how to treat one another or add
new rules.

15 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved
9. Choose your battles wisely. You know your children are not always going to agree, so you
might spend all of your time coming between them if you don’t let them handle things on their
own. Squabbling about who had a toy first is not that important, but pestering each other until
they feel they have no recourse other than to torture each other definitely needs your
attention.

The Well-Balanced Family:

How to Disconnect to Reconnect So You Can Grow and Have Fun Together

In a time where everyone from your spouse to your

tween seems glued to their electronic device 24 / 7, it
can be tough to spend quality time together.

Learn how you can reconnect as a family by planning

fun and healthy activities, establishing regular routines
and good habits – and ditching the electronics.

In this eBook by Robert Myers, Ph.D., a licensed

clinical child and adolescent psychologist, you'll learn:

The Value of Play: Learn what free play is, and how it
can help encourage your child use their imagination
and become more independent.

How to Be a Fit Family: You'll find plenty of tips on

ways your family can stay active together, with
suggestions for kids of all ages, from toddlers to teens.

The Importance of Family Meetings: Learn how to

schedule regular check-ins with your family to make
sure everyone's opinions are being heard, and every
family member feels valued.

Click here to learn more about The Well-Balanced Family

16 | P a g e
© 2018 Parenting Today, LLC All rights reserved