DOUGLAS L. JONES

EMPOWERING
LEADERSHIP

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

2
Empowering Leadership
1st edition
© 2018 Douglas L. Jones & bookboon.com
ISBN 978-87-403-0417-6

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

3
 EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Contents

CONTENTS
BIO of Doulas L. Jones 6

1 Introduction 8

2 Definitions 10

3 Understanding the Needs, Motivations & Behaviours of Your

Employees 13
3.1 The Need for Security and Survival 14
3.2 The Need to Achieve, Accomplish and Succeed 17
3.3 The Need to Have Freedom of Choice 18
3.4 The Need to Belong and Feel Valued 21
3.5 The Need to Have Fun
360° 22

thinking .

360°
thinking . 360°
thinking .
Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers Dis

© Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discoverfree
Download theeBooks
truth atatbookboon.com
www.deloitte.ca/careers
Click on the ad to read more
4
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Contents

4 Developing, Strengthening and Practicing the “Empowerment Skills” 24

4.1 Think Before You Speak 24
4.2 Acknowledge their Frustrations 27
4.3 Conflict Resolution 28
4.4 Clarifying Perceptions 30
4.5 Building Trust and Respect 31
4.6 Catch Them Doing Some “Good Stuff” 35

5 Summary 37

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

5
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP BIO of Doulas L. Jones

BIO OF DOULAS L. JONES

An “Eagle Feather” is the highest honor that can be given to a White Man by a First Nations
native. It represents “Openness, Honesty, Strength, Integrity, Character and Wisdom”.

It is the “most valuable credential” I have ever earned.

It is not something that you can strive to obtain. It is earned by giving “Trust, Respect and
Acknowledgment”. It is about “Adding value to People so that they can add value to others”.

My background has been in the study of “Behavioural Psychology”.

• What are the driving forces in a person’s life

• What are the real components of their behaviours (Thinking, Feeling, Actions)
• How to influence a person’s choice of behaviours

My professional development has been through practice and teaching

• Building and maintaining a private Counselling Practice

(Helping people to deal with their emotional issues)
• Building and maintaining a private Coaching Practice
(Helping people to develop their intellectual goals and plans)
• Teaching the concepts of “Choice Theory Psychology, Reality Therapy and Lead
Management”
• One-On-One Business and Management Coaching
• Designing and presenting “Professional Development Workshops”

I am a: Certified “John Maxwell” Coach, Trainer & Speaker

Certified Personal and Executive Coach

Certified Emotional Fitness Coach
Senior Faculty of the William Glasser Institute
Masters in Adult Education
Member of Rotary International
Member of Toastmasters International

My passion is helping “Decision Makers” to become more effective “People Influencers”.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

6
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP BIO of Doulas L. Jones

SHORT TEASER

“Empowerment” is not a tangible thing, it is a feeling. (Within you & within your employees)

You can’t help others to feel “Empowered” unless you have felt “Empowerment” within
yourself.

Your words and actions are the only tools you have to “Empower” or influence others.

This book describes what drives “People’s” motivation, thinking, feelings & behaviours.

It also gives you the practical understanding of people and the communication process that
will “Empower” or influence the people around you.

“Empowering Leadership” means:

• Understanding your people (Their Motivations and Behaviours)

• Showing that you are interested in and care about your people
• Communicating effectively with your people (Being a role model)
• Inspiring your people (And Empowering them)

This book will change you and will change your employees.

Are you ready for this?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

7
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Introduction

1 INTRODUCTION
“You cannot give what you do not have”

– John C. Maxwell

“Empowerment” is not a tangible thing. It is a personal “feeling” that only exists within you.
You will choose how you “feel” by the how you are being treated (the words and actions of
the people around you). Feeling empowered is something you choose. Understanding what
influences that choice to “feel empowered” is what this book is all about.

Your words and actions are what will “empower” others. Choose them wisely.

This is not a self-help book. It will give you practical communication skills that will help
you “Influence” other people. How you use this skill will determine whether you “empower”
people or “destroy” the people you want to “Influence”.

This book can be used by every human being both personally and professionally. By
understanding the content of this book, you can then choose to feel “empowered” yourself
and whether you will choose to “empower” others.

However, I have designed it for Executives, Managers and Supervisors as a “People Skills”
reference handbook. It is intended to give you:

• An understanding of your employee’s “needs motivations and behaviours”.

• The communication tools & strategies that will help you influence your employee’s.

Every person in the world has exactly the same “Five Basic Needs”, how each person meets
those needs will be different. Awareness is the first step to understanding people (including
yourself and your employees).

The chapters describing the “Five Basic Needs” will give you the following things:

1. A description of each need and how it drives a person’s feelings, their motivation
and behaviour.
2. An understanding of how “Empowerment” works.
3. A process to “influence” your employee’s feeling of “Empowerment” by encouraging
them to meet their own needs.
4. A feeling of “Empowerment” for yourself through understanding and a practical
communication process.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

8
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Introduction

The next step is to learn and practice the communication tools & strategies that will help
you influence your employees. This is an integration process that will take time, effort and
energy to absorb, learn and live. Keep this book handy and re-read the chapter on “Five
Basic Needs” every once in a while. It will re-fresh your understanding of your employees
and yourself.

“Empowerment” is not just a once off effort. It demands conscious effort every hour of every
day with every employee. This will require a significant change in your attitude, motivation
and even life style. You cannot encourage “Empowerment” one day and not the next.

If and when you begin to practice and live “Empowerment” your life will be changed forever.
So will your employees lives, because you will become their Role Model, their Mentor and
their Coach.

“Empowerment” is a gift that is yours to give. It is your choice of how you treat people.
It is also a gift that you can unknowingly withhold. Either way, your employees are smart
enough to figure out which you normally do. It is extremely important to understand the
benefits to you and your staff, of “Empowerment”. It is equally as important to understand
what withholding “Empowerment” will do to employee morale and productivity, not to
mention your own credibility.

An “Empowering” attitude is a powerful thing. This is what you can give to others.

Are you ready for this?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

9
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Definitions

2 DEFINITIONS
I would like to start by not only giving you my definition of certain key words but also
the context and intent behind those words. The definitions may very slightly depending on
which dictionary you use, but the context should become clear.

Empower: (Dictionary definition: (verb); To enable, permit or give authority to)

(These are some of the words you will find in a Thesaurus)

• To approve of
• To authorize
• To entrust with
• To invest in
• To delegate to
• To endorse
• To sanction
• To support
• To advocate
• To boost
• To encourage
• To recommend
• To uphold
• To validate
• To enable
• To ordain
• To bestow upon
• To favour
• To promote
• To hold accountable for

When a person is empowered, they are recognized, approved and given authority. What is
not so obvious is that they also inherit responsibility, additional work load and accountability.

Those seeking empowerment may want to look beyond the glory of recognition to see all
the additional stress that comes with that small moment of fame.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

10
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Definitions

Leader: (Dictionary definition: (noun); Captain, chief, commander, the person in charge)

Above all, a leader is a role model. He or she is measured only by their words and actions.
The only tools that a leader has are his or her communication skills. John Maxwell wrote
a book: “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”. Leaders “connect” with their people.

Behaviour: (Dictionary definition: (noun); A combination of thoughts, feelings and actions)

Behaviour is not just your actions. You are always thinking and feeling things while you
are acting. A more accurate phrase would be “Total Behaviour”. When I use the word
behaviour in this book, I am always referring to total behaviour (Your thoughts, feelings
and actions together).

Motivation: (Dictionary definition: (noun); That which gives purpose to behaviour)

Motivation is 100% inside of you. Other people can try to influence you, but they cannot
motivate you.

Your motivation is decided by:

• analyzing the situation

• deciding how you feel about all the influences around you
• studying all the options that look like good solutions (actions that might be taken)
• deciding which action to take and whether it is worth it
• Determining the consequences of the actions
• (sometimes Determining the consequences of the actions on other people)

Your motivation is measured mostly by how you feel after this decision process. This process
does not take very long nor does it take much conscious thinking because you have repeated
it so often with so many different circumstances, that it has become a sub-conscious response.

The bottom line is that nobody can motivate you. They can try to influence you but “they
cannot get inside your head and force you to think the way they want you to.”

Psychology: (Dictionary definition: (noun); An attitude, an ideology, a way of thinking)

Each of us has our own brand of logic (psychology if you will). Sometimes it is called
perception. This is why the real world does not exist. It only exists as you see it. After all,
at least to you, your perception is what is real to you, for now anyway.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

11
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Definitions

Your way of thinking is what rules your world. Learning means that you are accepting
that there are other ways of looking at things. Your psyche (thinking) is expanding. It is all
about being open to new ideas.

Manager: (Dictionary definition: (noun); Administrator, boss, overseer, supervisor)

I make this distinction between Leader and Manager, because in the dictionary, they use
the words leader and manager interchangeablely. In actual fact, they have entirely different
meanings and functions.

First, a leader works “on” the system giving guidance and direction. Whereas, a manager
works “in” the system to implement the corporate processes.

Both Managers and Leaders would benefit by understanding the people they lead and
strengthening their ability to empower those same people they lead.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

12
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

3 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS,

MOTIVATIONS & BEHAVIOURS
OF YOUR EMPLOYEES
As a human being, your number one priority in life is to get what you “want” from the
outside world and the people around you. What you “want” may be a great deal more
than what you actually “need”. Meeting your “needs” will give you a feeling that you are
satisfactorily living your life. Getting what you “want” will be a constant struggle because
of the thinking that “more is better”. Ultimately, the more “wants” you get, the less satisfied
you become. This is a vicious cycle which will be a constant thorn in your side and it will
greatly influence your motivation.

I will not debate the merits of you getting more of your “wants” in the book. I will however,
discuss meeting your “Five Basic Needs” as they are defined in detail in Dr. William Glasser’s
book: “Choice Theory”.

We all have exactly the same “Five Basic Needs”, however each person will meet their own
needs differently. The “Five Basic Needs” are the physical and mental driving forces in every
person’s life. 99% of the behaviours you use in the run of a day can be shown to be an
attempt to meet one or more of these “Five Basic Needs”. Consciously or unconsciously,
you will struggle to meet these “Five Basic Needs” as a minimum, in the behaviours you
choose while living your daily life routines.

The Need for Security and Survival

The Need to Achieve, Accomplish and Succeed

The Need to Have Freedom of Choice

The Need to Belong and Feel Valued

The Need to Have Fun

The key here is that when you understand how these needs drive your feelings & behaviours
(thoughts, feelings & actions), you will also understand what drives the behaviours of your
employees. The additional benefit is that you will also understand how to “Empower” your
employees. As I explain each of the “Five Basic Needs”, I will give you practical examples
of “How to empower a person”.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

13
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

“Empowerment” is about learning about you and why you and your employees do the
things you do. It is then about learning how to “communicate to motivate” your employees.

If knowledge is power then this book will “Empower” you, and it is your choice to pass
that “Empowerment” along to your employees.

3.1 THE NEED FOR SECURITY AND SURVIVAL

It should be obvious that survival is the most important need in everyone’s life. If you don’t
survive, there is no point in discussing anything further.

Most people have a job or some source of income. Why? The answer is: To buy heat, light,
water, food and shelter (because if we didn’t have these thing, we wouldn’t survive). We
usually try to get to work on time and do a good job while we are there so that we keep
our job. We will usually try to do quality work in an effort to make ourselves indispensable
as much as possible. Sometimes we will do more than what is asked for or expected so that
we appear more valuable to the company. And sometimes, we may do things that we are
not paid for so that we appear more valuable than other employees (like taking work home
with us to impress the managers).

Theoretically, the amount of time we should spend on earning our income is about 8 hours
a day. This is not necessarily so for most of us. If you include travel time and preparation
time, that figure is more like 10 to 11 hours a day. The bottom line is, consciously or
unconsciously, 99% of our thoughts, feelings and actions at work are oriented toward
meeting our survival need.

Secondly, every person in the world needs to get some sleep every day (day or night). Why?
The answer is: Because if you didn’t sleep, you wouldn’t survive. Again, theoretically, we
should sleep about 8 hours a day. (The amount of sleep a person gets may vary)

Thirdly, people need to eat. Some people concentrate on eating the right foods all of the
time. Most people don’t eat properly. Some eat too little, some eat too much and most of
us don’t eat the right stuff. Our survival depends on our eating habits.

Fourthly, people need fluids. What we drink and how much we drink will dramatically
impact our survival.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

14
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

Regardless, everyone in the world concentrates on making sure they survive until tomorrow
and hopefully a little longer. Survival is the physical need and obviously the most important
need. If we didn’t survive, it is (The End).

In any case, about two thirds of our day is focused almost entirely on meeting our survival
need. This means that we only have about a third of our day left to get all our other four
psychological needs met.

Just look at all of the things you do in a day (behaviours you use) that insure your survival.

• You get up on time

• You get to work on time
• You do a good job at work, so that you keep your job
• You eat when you are hungry
• You choose healthy foods (Maybe)
• You drink fluids when you are thirsty (Some good for you, some not)
• You exercise a little (Maybe a lot, maybe not at all)
• You get some sleep

These are not behaviours that you sometime do only if you feel like it. These are behaviours
that you have to do. And they are behaviours that you have to do every day whether you
like it or not. Your very survival depends on doing them. Survival is a very powerful driving
force in everybody’s life.

Security is a sub-set of survival. An employee needs to know that the income being earned
will insure:

• there is food on the table at home

• that the mortgage is being paid
• that the kids will be educated
• that he or she has transportation
• that there is time for the family, friends
• that there is some fun along the way

A manager or leader in the workplace needs to understand how powerful a motivator

“security and survival” are in an employee’s life (their own lives too).

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

15
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

Employees constantly measure how they feel about their jobs (so do managers and leaders)

• about the workplace environment

• about who they work “for”
• about who they work “with”
• about the company itself
• about whether their job in secure
• and when and how much the next raise will be

To “empower” someone, anyone, you must first get to know them a little. This means
genuinely connecting with them and not just passing niceties. This does not have to take
hours of conversations, but it does mean that you need to show interest in them, maybe
their family but most importantly their well-being and stability. Before you can influence
someone, they need to know that you care about them.

You can tell when a person is sad, angry or frustrated. Most times we just ignore it thinking
that they’ll get over it. That indifference is usually viewed as “you just don’t care”. One
question “by you” could make a world of difference in your relationship (friendship) with
that person.

How do you think that person would react to you saying: “You seem a little frustrated
right now, Are you?”

Please note that if this is the first time that you have shown any interest in this person,
you will get you a funny look, because this person has no reason to trust you yet. But, if
you become consistent in using this approach, the trust will grow because you will appear
authentic, respectful and trustworthy.

Again, the first time you ask this type of question, their response might be a little guarded,
but eventually they will begin to see you as at least a little more interested and sensitive than
next guy. Awareness, interest and sensitivity are what opens the door to “empowerment”.

“Empowering” an employee is being sensitive to how that employee feels about his or
her own security and survival circumstance. It would not be a good idea to talk about the
needs of the company when the employee is worried about the car payment that is due at
the end of the month. The employee will feel empowered if he or she feels that you care
about them and would actually help if you could.

“Empowerment” is about treating the employees in such a way that they “feel” good about
the relationship they have with you. They also might feel that they would help you or the
company if they actually could while still meeting their own needs.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

16
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

3.2 THE NEED TO ACHIEVE, ACCOMPLISH AND SUCCEED

Every person, in the world today, wants to know that they can be a success at something.
We have a need to know that, if we put our minds to something, we can achieve it or
accomplish some or all of what we set out to do.

If we achieve it, our self-esteem will increase, our self-worth and self-image will improve.
We will feel good about ourselves, our skills and our abilities. We can then feel proud of
our progress and track record. We strive for self-confidence through the things we have
done and what we are capable of doing in the future. Achievement will dramatically affect
how we feel about ourselves. (The internal impact)

If we accomplish things, our status with the people around us will rise. We will be viewed
as competent, resourceful and skilled. If we know that we have done our best, then we are
proud to share our efforts with the outside world. We seek recognition from the people we
want to impress. When we get it, we will work harder to accomplish the next big thing.
Accomplishment influences our motivation to achieve more. (The external impact)

The way we measure how well we Achieve, Accomplish and Succeed, is by how we feel
about the results of our efforts. No matter what we try to do, we will measure how well
we did by how we feel.

Feeling good will only last for a short time, and then we move on to the next effort. All
of this is to say that we are constantly, every moment of every day, striving to Achieve,
Accomplish and Succeed. We are constantly seeking our own approval and the approval
of others for the many things we do each day.

This is a force at the cellular level inside every human being on earth. Managers and Leaders
need to understand that this is a strong driving force in every employee’s life, not only in
the workplace but in every aspect of his or her personal life too.

A “good” manager needs to recognize each employee’s need to Achieve, Accomplish and
Succeed. A “great” manager learns to channel and encourage each employee’s work efforts
in the direction of the company or department’s goals. When the manager provides the
resources needed for the job and professional development opportunities along the way,
this gives the employee the feeling that “this” workplace is a need satisfying pace to be.

That same “great” manager learns to encourage that employee to meet their own personal
needs as well. This of course means that the manager must also learn to connect with each
employee on a personal level more than just the daily pleasantries. This does not mean
that you become best buddies, but it does mean that you become aware of that employee’s
goals, plans and aspirations.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

17
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

Sometimes a manager can even design workplace activities that help an employee to
accomplish some of those employee’s personal goals too.

This kind of interest in an employee’s personal and professional growth, development and
accomplishment, gives that employee a stronger sense of self-confidence and self-worth. In
other words, it meets an employee’s need to Achieve, Accomplish and Succeed. This creates
the internal feeling that the need is being met.

Additionally, that “great” manager will publicly acknowledge each employee’s contributions.
This does not mean praise, but does mean giving credit where credit is due. A simple thank
you once in a while will go a long way to ensuring employee productivity, job satisfaction
and loyalty. All too often we look for the things that our employees do wrong. A “great”
manager looks to catch an employee doing the right things or doing a good job, and lets
the world know that the company is proud of this employee and that this employee can
be proud of their own accomplishments too.

This establishes the employee’s credibility with his or her peers, other managers and the
world at large. This is the recognition that everyone secretly craves. It is the external tangible
evidence that we are worthy of the confidence that others have in us. This is the positive
external impact that a manager can have on an employee.

Please note: “Only a secure manager or leader will empower his or her employees.”
“Likewise, the more successful your employees are, the more successful you become.”

Leadership is “Influence” nothing more, nothing less.

– John Maxwell

“Empowering Leadership” means: actively encouraging (Influencing) employees to Achieve,

Accomplish and Succeed.

“Empowering Leadership” also means acknowledging each employee’s contribution to you

personally, to the team and to the company. Obviously this is a benefit to the employee,
the team, the manager and the company. Everybody wins.

3.3 THE NEED TO HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE

Have you ever been told “Do this now”? They may have said it nicer but in the end you
are still being told what to do and when to do it. To them, you don’t have any choice. To
them, you must do what they tell you to do and you need to do it now. How do you feel?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

18
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

No matter how nicely they put it, chances are that you are not going to jump up with
enthusiasm and get it done. The feeling will most likely be negative.

We judge how well we are doing meeting our own needs by how we feel. A negative feeling
usually indicates that our needs are not being met at this moment in time. When we are
“told what and when to do things” and are given no choices, we will probably assume any
or all of the following:

• They want power over me

• They think that I am not smart enough to do things on my own
• They always give me the crummy jobs
• They don’t think that I am good enough to do more important things
• They don’t trust me
• They don’t respect me
TMP PRODUCTION NY026057B 4 12/13/2013
• I are being punished
6x4 PSTANKIE ACCCTR00
gl/rv/rv/baf Bookboon Ad Creative
All of this resentment is created just because we are not given any options. When we have
negative feelings, we tend to rebel. All animals, even humans, when backed into a corner,
will come out fighting. Look at every war that has ever been fought in the entire history
of man, somebody thought their freedom was going to be taken away.

All rights reserved.

© 2013 Accenture.

Bring your talent and passion to a

global organization at the forefront of
business, technology and innovation.
Discover how great you can be.
Visit accenture.com/bookboon

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
19
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

The simple fact is that, if we were given options, even limited ones, we would not have as
many negative feelings. Self-defense is not necessary and discussion is then possible. The
need for Freedom of Choice is so strong that sometimes it out weights logic.

Freedom of Choice is a driving force that lingers in the background of our mind and only
bursts out when there is a threat of it being taken away. We tend to think of Freedom of
Choice as a personal inalienable right and not a just a privilege.

There are two major influences on our need for Freedom of Choice.

1. Because we have had to fight all our lives to get what we believe is rightfully ours,
we tend to reject the limitations that other people place on us. We do not want
to be controlled or manipulated.
2. Because we have a strong need to achieve, accomplish and succeed, we are constantly
searching for ways to control our surroundings. Controlling another person is an
accomplishment. We usually hate it when people do this to us, and yet we still try
to do it to others because it feels like we are in control and we have accomplished
something.

When assigning tasks to your employees, “how you say it” is as important as what you have
to say. There is always a choice, as limited as it might be. Managers and Leaders need to
understand how destructive “demands without options” can be and why.

Being aware of you employee’s need for Freedom of Choice is a management tool that will
help you put things in such a way as to encourage the employee to search for the options.
Employees will often surprise you with their perceptions of what the different options might
be. Listening to your employees is empowerment at its best.

Managers and leaders who respect “the needs” of each employee in every interaction with their
employees, will find after a time, a dramatic change in their employee’s attitudes, thinking,
feelings and actions. If you want to “empower” your employees, this is how you do it.

“Empowering” employees is simply making sure that you give them some options (as
limited as they may be). You might want to focus all of the options on getting the results
you want but they are still options.

“Empowerment” is when an employee feels that you have tried your best to give them as
much freedom as possible.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

20
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

3.4 THE NEED TO BELONG AND FEEL VALUED

All we have in this world is the relationships we build with other people (at home, at work
and socially). Sure we can buy valuable things but those things don’t value us in return. We
have a need to connect with people, talk with people and be valued by people.

Look at all the clubs, associations, religions, political parties and activist groups that exist. In
the free world, they all provide a place where people of like minds can gather in support of
each other. In these groups and activities, we know that we will be accepted and recognized
as adding value and support for some chosen cause. Some people will even seek to be on
the executive or at least have input into group policies or activities, thereby increasing their
value to the group.

On the negative side, even street gangs and organized crime, recognizes that everybody has
a strong need to belong and be valued.

As employees, we work hard at our jobs, we produce quality and we contribute to the
workplace culture as we can. For all that we contribute at work, we want that contribution
be acknowledged and valued because it shows that we are valued as a member of the team
and as a person.

We strive to be members of the team. We want to be recognizable within the team. To be

recognizable, we must contribute. We want that contribution to be recognized and valued.
This makes us valuable too. Being valued by others makes up a large part of our self-esteem
(it shouldn’t but it does).

We have a strong need to belong and be valued. We measure “how well that need is being
met” by how we think other people “feel” about us (being valued by others). This need is
so strong, that if a relationship goes bad, sometimes people will become depressed. If the
relationship gets better, people tend to be happier. It doesn’t matter where that relationship
is (home, work, socially) the feelings will affect every aspect of our life including work.

As Managers and Leaders, you must continuously look for opportunities to recognize,
acknowledge and appreciate (not necessarily praise) the contributions of your employees.
This says to them that you value them as a person and a member of the team. In most
cases, a simple “thank you for doing that” is all that is needed.

The morale of your organization is a direct reflection of whether or not each employee feels
valued. Job satisfaction, productivity and absenteeism are also a measure of each employee’s
feeling of being valued in the organization.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

21
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

The best example of the effects of “valuing people” came from when I was Software
Development Manager for a company. When I arrived, the morale of the entire company
was a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. In 6 months, the morale of my department was an 8, while
the rest of the company stayed at a 3. My focus was on recognizing the accomplishments of
each employee and getting each employee to recognize each other for their contribution too.

“Empowering” an employee can be as simple as showing them that you value them as a
team member. Just think about how you felt, the last time someone said: “Thank you, I
appreciate that”.

“Empowerment” means truly valuing each employee “each day”. Valuing your employees
will go a long way to ensuring employee attendance, productivity, job satisfaction and loyalty.

3.5 THE NEED TO HAVE FUN

There are some billion dollar industries that have done thousands of psychological studies
and have found that “Fun” is one of the most powerful driving forces in a person’s life.
These industries are spending millions of dollars per “Hour” to get you to buy their brand
of fun. They are called the Movies and Television.

Now, look at all the would-be “Jocs” who play weekend football, hockey, soccer, baseball
and basketball or any other, supposedly non-contact sport. They finish bruised and battered
and yet will say “wow that was fun”. Look at all the amateur and professional sports that
are on TV. You can watch other people get bruised and battered and still you can say “that
was fun”. Sometimes, we will intentionally participate in potentially dangerous activities if
the desire for fun outweighs the risks.

I need to clarify my meaning of the word “Fun”. The meaning I attach to the word Fun is
“enjoyment”, and is not “frivolous comedy”. I see Fun in the workplace more as “Whistle
while you work” rather than being mischievous and unproductive. Fun comes from enjoying
what you do, appreciating the amount of energy and effort you put into it and taking pride
in the results.

Most times, Fun is “the reward” for all the dull and boring things we have to do all our
lives. We tend to look for the fun in everything we do. If there is some fun involved, it
becomes the justification for the hum-drum drudgery of our everyday existence. If there
is no fun involved, then we will tend to create fun in the project. And, sometimes we do
things just because they are fun.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

22
 UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS, MOTIVATIONS
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP & BEHAVIOURS OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

In the workplace, “Does having fun at your job mean that the quality of the work suffers?”
The answer is “NO”. In fact, if employees are having fun while working, most often they will
take the time and effort to do it right the first time. Studies have shown that productivity
and the quality of the work increases in an enjoyable work environment. (FUN)

Studies have also shown that you will get only the minimum productivity and quality when
the workplace environment is one of fear and intimidation. In this environment employees
are never sure of what to expect and constantly fear punishment. (Lack of FUN)

We can rationalize things any way we want, but Fun is a motivator. Think it about for
yourself. Wouldn’t you rather work at a place where you enjoy what you are doing? Isn’t it
better to have a workplace that is fun to be at, rather than to be at a place that is nothing
but pressure and stress?

As a Manager or Leader, you can influence the workplace you are in. You can reduce stress
and increase productivity simply by introducing and encouraging a little fun here and there.
The culture of your organization and the attitude of your employees will swing in a positive
direction when there is a little fun to be had by all.

Fun in the workplace is a hard concept to accept since most of us concentrate on the
serious bottom line goals of productivity and profitability. In the past, the attitude of “fun
in the workplace” was almost forbidden. Studies now show that employees are almost more
interested in reducing stress in their own lives than meeting the company’s profitability goals.
Making the workplace more enjoyable (Fun) should be a management priority.

“Empowering” employees means encouraging them to “whistle while they work” so to speak.
Encouraging employees to have fun will go a long way to ensuring employee productivity,
job satisfaction and loyalty.

“Empowerment” means learning how to make the workplace an enjoyable place to be. Your
customers and suppliers will also recognize the enjoyable culture that you are encouraging.
If you were to see a Fun workplace instead of a Stressed workplace, who would you want
to do business with.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

23
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

4 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING
AND PRACTICING THE
“EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”
Once you understand the “Five Basic Needs” and how to apply that understanding to
influence your employees, you will need some practical exercises to practice these skills.

I have described some real life situations that you will run into at home, at work even
socially. This is where you can practice, adjust your process and practice some more. The
challenge is to compare what you do now with a new set of ideas. Try them, you’ll like
them. See for yourself what works for you and what doesn’t.

Think Before You Speak

Acknowledge their Frustrations

Conflict Resolution

Clarify Perceptions

Building Trust and Respect

“Empowerment” is a gradual process that you can develop within yourself.

“Empowering” is sharing your skills and wisdom.

(Modeling the behaviours you want to see)

4.1 THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Back in the 70s, some of the major universities did studies that showed that we think at
about 1400 words per minute, that we can hear at about 750 words per minute and that
we can only speak at about 150 words per minute. Just think about a time when you were
deep in a conversation with the person in front of you and another conversation starts up
somewhere near you and you can keep track of both. Now think about how you answered
the person in front of you and yet you still had time to process how you felt about that
second conversation.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

24
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

What this is saying is that we have a lot of “Think Time” while we are waiting for the
person in front of us to finish what they are saying. Usually, we are thinking about our
own response, but we also processed some other fleeting thoughts while we are waiting,
such as what we are going to have for lunch and we finally remembered that will need to
do some laundry before that big meeting tomorrow. As soon as that person is finished their
last sentence, we tend to hit them with our own ideas. The question is, did we really listen
to what that person said or were we thinking about other things?

There is an exercise you can try just for fun that allows you to be an observer of your own
behaviours (Thoughts, Feelings and Actions). In your next few conversations, just observe
the number and types of thoughts and feelings that you have while waiting for your turn
to speak. Try this a few times and you will be amazed at how many thoughts get packed
into that “Think Time” between your speaking times.

It is in this “Think Time” that you have an opportunity to think about doing things
differently. The choice is between the “way you have always done it”, (getting your point
of view across), and adding value to or “Empowering” that person in front of you. You do
not always have to get your point across nor do you always have to be right. “Empowering
Leadership” is about putting your needs aside for a moment and helping that other person
meet their own needs and accomplish their own goals while they are speaking.

The Wake
the only emission we want to leave behind

.QYURGGF'PIKPGU/GFKWOURGGF'PIKPGU6WTDQEJCTIGTU2TQRGNNGTU2TQRWNUKQP2CEMCIGU2TKOG5GTX

6JGFGUKIPQHGEQHTKGPFN[OCTKPGRQYGTCPFRTQRWNUKQPUQNWVKQPUKUETWEKCNHQT/#0&KGUGN6WTDQ
2QYGTEQORGVGPEKGUCTGQHHGTGFYKVJVJGYQTNFoUNCTIGUVGPIKPGRTQITCOOGsJCXKPIQWVRWVUURCPPKPI
HTQOVQM9RGTGPIKPG)GVWRHTQPV
(KPFQWVOQTGCVYYYOCPFKGUGNVWTDQEQO

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
25
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

What do you think that person’s perception of you is when they come out of that conversation
feeling “listened to and understood”? Isn’t that an accomplishment on your part? In the long
run, isn’t that meeting your needs too? All you had to do was change your perspective of
what is important at this moment. Now, consider what it costs you to make this type of
change in your actions. There is no down side for “Empowering” people. Do you want to
“Empower” someone or work on meeting your own needs first by making sure that your
own opinions known?

“Empowering” another person is a conscious choice in every conversation you have. Why
not take the time to practice?

“Thinking Before You Speak” is suggesting that “If you want to Empower employees”, you
need to listen to what is being said, and show that you have heard and understand what was
said. This acknowledges that they are of value to you and that you respect their opinions
and ideas even if you may not agree with them. It also shows that you trust them to give
the opportunity to give your own thoughts and ideas.

One of the keys to learning how to “Empower” anybody is to recognize in your conversations,
when to consciously do thing differently. These are called triggers. In the beginning, this will
take a considerable amount of time, effort and energy on your part to identify. Changing
your focus away from you and placing that focus on them will be a big adjustment for
you to make.

Only secure Managers and Leaders “Empower” their employees. It might be wise to keep in
mind, that “the more successful your employees are, the more successful you will become”.
Your image and reputation is build and maintained through your employees.

“Thinking Before You Speak” will give you the opportunity to choose to handle things
differently. Understanding the needs that drive your employee’s motivation and behaviours
are the resources necessary formulate the action plan. And, learning “how to say it” will be
the tools that make it all happen.

“Empowering” your employees is about finding every opportunity to show that you pay
attention when they speak, and that you are interested helping them to be successful.
This simple behaviour on your part will create the feeling being valued, appreciated and
“empowered” in your employees.

“Empowerment” happens when you are as concerned about “how you say it” as you are
about “what you have to say”

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

26
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

“Thinking Before You Speak” is your opportunity to make a difference in your own life and
the lives of your employees. It is a choice that will “Empower” you and your employees.
Choose wisely.

4.2 ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR FRUSTRATIONS

All of your employees will get frustrated once in a while and the source may come from
home or be at work. As a Leader or Manager, your job is be sensitive to the changes in
your employee’s moods and be recognized as a person that they can go to if they need to
talk. This does not mean that you have to become their counsellor, but it does mean that
you understand and are willing to guide them to get the help they need.

A simple “You seem really frustrated by something, how can I help?” may be all you have
to say in a private conversation. They may or may not want to talk, but what this tells
them about you, is that you care about them. They will know that they are not alone and
that help is available if they want it.

Sometimes it may be a situation that they have no control over, sometimes it is a very
personal issue or it could be anywhere in between. Sometimes they just need to vent about
it and sometime they need to seek professional help. As Managers and Leaders you may
need to become more sensitive to the feelings and moods of your employees, not as their
problem solver, but more as a resource or guide.

You do not have to look only for frustrations to justify acknowledging people, just remembering
a person’s name is the most powerful acknowledgement of all. The sweetest music of all is
hearing someone call you by you own name. As a Manager or Leader, acknowledging your
employees and anyone else you come in contact with, should become a habit you practice
every day. Not only does it build and strengthen your relationship with them, but it also
strengthens your credibility in their eyes and in the eyes of everyone around you.

Everyone has a strong need to be recognized as a valued human being. They also need to
know that their contribution is appreciated. Acknowledging people is a key step in the
process of “Empowering” people.

At one time, Jack Welsh, CEO of General Electric knew the names of every employee on
the production line. Even today he still learns the name of his cab drivers and thanks them
by name at the end of the ride. That is acknowledgement taken to a very positive outcome.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

27
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

In terms of “Empowerment”, you are acknowledging them as a person of value, that you
respect their freedom of choice, that their survival is important to you and that you have
confidence in their ability to handle things.

“Empowerment” is about taking the time, effort and energy to recognizing every opportunity
where you can demonstrate that you want to encourage your employees to meet their own
needs first and become as successful as possible.

4.3 CONFLICT RESOLUTION

In some cases, conflict is the mother of invention (a good thing). In other cases conflict is
a power struggle. In either case, resolution is taking action to achieve an equitable result.
For now, we are going to deal with the power struggles.

In most cases, conflict resolution implies there must be winner and a looser. In most scenarios,
one party gets most of what they want and the other party walks away disappointed or
angry. This is not resolution at all, at best it is summary judgment with no recourse. All
too often, this is the inevitable result for disputes over tangible assets.

Here, I would like to present a process by which you can create more “Win-Win” solutions
than you have ever done before. Of course, it is based on the understanding of our need
for Achievement, Accomplishment and Success (personal power).

Consider when someone is in a verbal rage and you are the target. Usually, the more they
rant the madder they get.

There are many ways to handle this situation, but I would suggest the following is a more
effective resolution to the issues.

In your first step, you say: “I want to understand this better. Tell me what the matter is”

The flood gate will now open. They will dump all of their information on you (good, bad,
relevant or not). Your job at this point is just to listen (no comments, suggestions, not a
word). This may take as long as 20 minutes if they want. You asked them, so shut up and
listen. They are even allowed to bring up things which have no meaning. They may even
question your heritage. No matter, you have asked them to go first.

In your second step, you say: “I think I understand now. How do you think we should
solve this issue?”

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

28
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

And now the dam bursts. They will probably tell you everything that you have ever done
wrong, everything that you should be doing right now to fix it and everything that you
should be doing in the future so it doesn’t happen again. And again, they may even question
your heritage. This may take another 20 minutes, but you are the one who asked, so again,
shut up and listen.

At the end of all this venting, here is your question to yourself: “Is the emotions still as
high as they were when this person started their tirade?”

The answer is “NO”. “Why?” The answer is:

• You acknowledged their frustration

• You asked them to state their issues
• You listened to everything they had to say
• You were not judgmental (You didn’t speak)
• You appeared to value them as a person
• You showed them respect
• You asked for their solutions

For the most part all that is left is “How do we fix this”? (And you even have their suggestions)

They came to you with a strong need for achievement (power over you). You gave it to
them on a silver platter. You even asked them for their solutions. From their prospective,
they won, they beat you up and you didn’t even defend yourself. Their need for power was
met big time and they left you with nothing. (The first part of the “Win-Win”)

Now ask yourself, “Who guided this scenario?” “Who was able to defuse the anger? Who
removed the emotion out of the potentially explosive situation?” “Who had the patience to
use the understanding of the “empowerment” process to affect the calm solution?” “How
do I feel about the skills that I just used?” “Are my needs being met?”

In the end, the complainer’s needs are being met and your needs are also being met. Isn’t
this much closer to the “win-win”?

“Empowerment” is about understanding the “Five Basic Needs” and how they affect people’s
choices of behaviours (Thinking, Feeling and Actions). It is then about developing the
communication skills within yourself to model the empowerment process.

“Empowering” behaviours are the conscious application of Leadership Skills to influence

relationships (At home or at work). I encourage you to practice, practice, practice.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

29
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

4.4 CLARIFYING PERCEPTIONS

The following scenario is a good example of the need for Clarifying Perceptions.

One day in the late afternoon, the boss rushes in, says nervously and loudly to an
employee, “I need this report by 9:00 am tomorrow morning, can you get it for
me? I’ll give you all the resources you need, can you do it”? The employee just as
nervously says yes and the boss hurriedly goes back to his office. 9:00 am the next
morning the boss screams “What the hell is this, This is not what I asked for?

The first question that came up was “Who’s fault is it?” Some people said it was the
employee’s fault for not producing the report that the boss wanted. Some said that it was
the boss’s fault for not explaining exactly what he wanted. Some said that it was both their
faults. The reality was that they were both at fault. The boss thought he gave one picture
and the employee thought he got a different picture and the problem was that neither one
of them bothered to check to see that the two pictures were the same.

There are two pieces of learning here. The first is that attaching blame is not helpful, useful
or productive. It wastes valuable time effort and energy, along with causing anger, resentment
and fear. This is the exact opposite of empowerment. The focus should have been on “Why
did this happen. And, how do we make sure it doesn’t happen again?”

The second piece of learning is that it is the boss’s responsibility to make sure that the employee
knows exactly what the content of the report should show. It is also the responsibility of
the employee to make sure that he understands exactly what he is to produce. What this
means is that they both need to ask questions until that criteria is met. Both the boss and
the employee need to “Clarify their Perceptions”.

There is one solid fact here. “The real world does not exist, it only exists as I (You) see it”.
The old saying is that “Perception is Everything”. Just because we think we gave an accurate
description of what we want, does not mean that the other person got the same picture
as we intended. Likewise, what appears to be a negative circumstance may not necessarily
be negative at all. As Managers or Leaders we need to check all of our perceptions all of
the time.

“Empowerment” means that you need to take on the responsibility to make sure that
your perceptions are accurate every time. Please note: things change, so just because your
perception of someone or something was accurate yesterday, does not mean that it accurate
now. Check again.

“Empowering” your employees means that you model the behaviours you expect from them.
It is your job to encourage clear communications in both directions.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

30
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

4.5 BUILDING TRUST AND RESPECT

BUILDING TRUST

All you have in this world is the relationships that you build with the people around
you. There are three major feelings that are absolutely essential in a “Quality” working
relationship. If “Trust, Respect or Acknowledgement” are missing in any relationship, then
the relationship is doomed to “Fail”.

Think of these feelings as they apply to you. Think about a person that you don’t “trust”.
Is your relationship with them great, just so-so or are you skeptical in every moment you
have to spend with them?

Trust is a great motivator. If you “trust” someone, typically you would do almost anything
for them and you know that they would probably do the same for you. You have a feeling
of being secure in the relationship you have with them. You may know in your heart that
they would never intentionally harm you. Over time, circumstances around you may change,
but “Trust” is what will help you through the bad time as well as the good. The interesting
thing about “trust” is that it is a forever thing.

If you do not “trust” a person, then typically you will question every behaviour (thoughts,
feelings and actions) that person uses. You will be skeptical of their motives, intentions and
the quality of what they produce. Your major focus will be on “what that person is doing
wrong now” or “how will they hurt me this time”? What is interesting about not trusting
a person is that there is almost nothing you like or trust about that person ever again.

“Trust” is usually looked upon as an “All or Nothing” thing. Once you have lost trust in
a person, it is almost impossible for them to regain your trust.

“Trust” is lost when one person makes a mistake that hurts someone else. We are all human
and we all make mistakes. We will make more mistakes in the future, guaranteed.

“Trust” is simple, either you do or you don’t. If you do trust, there is a bucket of emotions
that support that feeling. If you don’t trust, there is a different bucket of emotions that
support that feeling too.

We change our minds many times every day. You can change your mind about “trust” in an
instant too. The difficulty is that it is very easy to switch from “trusting” to “not trusting”, but
it is almost impossible to switch back to “trusting” once you decide not to “trust” a person.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

31
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

To make the transition back to “trusting” requires that you forgive yourself for two things.
First, it is about forgiving yourself for being wrong about that person. You made the mistake
of “trusting” them. They proved that your judgment was wrong. This means that you are
flawed. This causes guilt in you and so you think that you deserve to be punished.

And second, it is not about forgiving that other person for making a mistake, it is about
forgiving yourself for wanting to hold a grudge against them for pointing out your personal
flaws and bad judgment.

The reason it is so hard for someone to regain your “trust” is that there is nothing that they
can say or do that would make a difference. You are the one that has to do all the internal
work. You have to give yourself permission to get over your own embarrassing habits.

We can’t forget about the things that happened in the past but we can learn from them.
There are no guarantees that those same mistakes won’t be made again, but it is your choice
as to whether you believe that the person will try not to make the same or other mistakes
again. But more importantly, “Trust” is a choice. It is simple but it is not easy.

If you choose to NOT trust, then you may have to live with doubt, anger, frustration and
worry. Ultimately this will affect your attitude towards and outlook on life. You may have
heard of the term “worried sick”. Living in a constant negative state of mind can and will
make you sick.

If you choose to “trust”, then the opposite of “worried sick” becomes true. Less stress and
anxiety leads to more satisfaction and happiness.

If “trust” is a choice, then you may want to ask yourself, “Do I want to live my life worrying
and waiting for a person to prove that I can trust them?” or “Do I want to live my life
trusting people until they give me a reason not to?” With the former, you will live in fear
and trepidation, with the latter, you will live anticipation and harmony. Which will it be
for you?

This is how you consciously choose to “Empower” yourself.

People can tell whether you “trust” them or not. Choosing to “trust” is how you “Empower”
your employees.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

32
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

BUILDING RESPECT

Again, all you have in this world is the relationships that you build with the people around
you. If “respect” is missing on either side of a relationship, then that relationship is doomed
for failure.

“Respect” is a feeling and that feeling is strengthened or destroyed based on how each
person treats you. You measure their attitudes and feelings toward you to establish how
much “respect” they have for you. “Respect” is also yours to give or withhold and it will
be obvious which one you are doing at any point in time.

To “respect” someone means that you value them, you appreciate them and see them as a
positive influence in your life. If you don not “respect” someone, it usually means that you
do not value them and would prefer not to have any contact with them at all.

Just be aware that if you are forced to work with a person that you do not “respect” that
negativity can make you sick. The same is true of a relative or an in-law that you do not
“respect”, they can make you sick too.

30 FR
da EE
SMS from your computer ys
...Sync'd with your Android phone & number tria
l!

Go to

BrowserTexting.com

and start texting from

your computer!

... BrowserTexting

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
33
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

You don’t have any “control” over how people treat you, but you do have absolute control
over how you treat the people around you.

You’ve heard of the term “Treat people with respect”. Well, here is how you do that.

“Ask instead of tell”. Think about how you feel when a person asks for your thoughts, ideas,
feelings, opinions. It feels pretty good doesn’t it? Someone wants to hear what you have to say.

The questioner is really saying:

• I respect your right to have an opinion

• I do not necessarily have to agree with you
• I am interested you as a person
• I am interested in your thoughts and feelings
• I trust that you will give me a true and honest answer
• I trust that you will ask me for my opinions and feelings too
• I trust that we can discuss these ideas and not just argue who is right and who is wrong
• I trust that this discussion will build respect for each other

Even if you want to get a point across, you can still put it in the form of a question. For
example: “What do you think about this idea?” This gets your idea out there and still asks
for their opinion. Asking for a person’s opinion is the most effective way to build respect.

“Trust and Respect” go hand in hand, and building them will take a different mindset than
most of us have grown up with. From the day you were born, you have been trying to get
what you want from the people around you. The idea of constantly going after what you
want and getting you demands stated has created years of habits. You have programmed
yourself to be first in line when it comes to your speaking or your actions.

“Asking” implies that you are willing to go second (you want them to speak first). This is not
going to be an easy transition for anybody to make. Going second is not a habit that most
of us have ever consciously practiced. This creates an enormous internal conflict. It delays
our meeting our own need for achievement and accomplishment. But look at the benefits.

This is the “Empowerment” skill. The cost of going second is a minor delay in meeting
our own needs in favour of “empowering” others first and then enjoying the satisfaction of
knowing that it is our own skill that creates all of the shared “Empowerment”.

“Asking” is an attitude shift. I have used the term “You cannot give what you do not have”.
Shifting your attitude to become inquisitive is the gift of “Empowerment”, not only to
yourself but also the people you ask.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

34
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

I have also used the term “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”. Connecting means putting
the time effort and energy into building “Trust and Respect” with everyone around you.

“Empowerment” means that you demonstrate that you are willing to give up your right
to be first, that you are willing to listen and that you are interested in them as valued
employees and friends.

“Empowering” means being a role model. It means understanding the concepts of Leadership
and practicing them wherever possible.

4.6 CATCH THEM DOING SOME “GOOD STUFF”

By now, you should realize that recognition and acknowledgement are huge motivators in
anyone’s life.

Because we constantly struggle to meet our need for accomplishment and success, we have
developed the idea that if we find the mistakes of others, we will look better or we will
appear more competent. Nobody really teaches this principle, we just watch others do it
and then adjust the process to suit ourselves. It is a habit that is well engrained in our
subconscious mind, so much so that we view “mistake finding in other people” as a valuable
asset to our skillset.

Here is a question for you: “What is your impression of a person who constantly points
out other people’s mistakes?” I do not trust them and I do not respect them. To me, they
are malicious back stabbers.

If this is just an inherited skill without a serious evaluation of its consequences, then we
need to question the value of doing it. This brings up the question: “What can we do
instead that would be more in line with our core values?”

The obvious answer is to search for “the good stuff” that people do well. This may take
some time, effort and energy to get it right. Secondly, what you do with that information
becomes important. Recognition is very different from praise and acknowledgement is very
different from prestige.

Praise and prestige are both evaluations. They are somebody’s opinion. The problem with
giving evaluations or opinions is that as soon as you don’t give it to the next person, feelings
are hurt and morale goes down.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

35
 DEVELOPING, STRENGTHENING AND PRACTICING
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP THE “EMPOWERMENT SKILLS”

On the other hand recognition and acknowledgement are tangible statements of fact. There
are no inherent values attached.

Searching for the “good stuff” is a talent well worth developing. It will have a dramatic
positive affect on morale. The reason is because it meets our basic need for accomplishment
and achievement. Done well, this form of recognition is an effective “Empowerment” tool.

“Empowerment” done in this way has three benefits. One is that you can feel “empowered”
by giving it away to your employees. Two is that your employees feel “empowered” by your
gift of recognition and acknowledgement. And three your employees will begin to emulate
you. They too will search for the “good stuff” in others.

Being a Leader means taking a risk. So take risks that have a proven greater positive potential.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

36
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Summary

5 SUMMARY
In the introduction, I quoted John Maxwell as saying: “You cannot give what you do not
have”. In terms of empowerment, this means that you cannot empower other if you have
never experienced the feeling of being empowered yourself.

You can feel empowered from the outside world, by how you are treated (the words and
actions of the people around you). You can feel empowered from within by acknowledging
that you have the understanding, the skills and the experiences that will enables you to
influence people in an inspiring way. Either way, you will know it when you feel it.

You are the only one who is in control of your “attitudes, words and actions”. Other people
may try to influence you, but you are still in control of you. Regardless of how you have
been treated, you can choose how “you” treat the people you wish to empower. You now
know “what to say” and “how to say it”.

I have given you practical ways to influence how an employee feels about how “you treat
them”. It is now up to you to practice you communication skills, make adjustments in how
you say things, and then practice some more. I also said in the introduction that once you
make the commitment to use “empowering” behaviours (thoughts, feelings and actions), your
life will change. You will also be able to recognize the changes in the behaviours (thoughts,
feelings and actions) of the people around you.

“Empowerment” is not a tangible thing. You cannot possess it nor can you give it away.
It is a “Feeling”.

Other people can feel “empowered” by you, if you encourage them to learn, grow and
succeed. Likewise, you can feel “empowered” by others if they encourage you to learn,
grow and succeed.

You can only practice the behaviours (thoughts, feelings, actions) that you know will create
the feeling of “empowerment”. You can then measure how well you are doing by how the
people around you respond.

If you want to “empower” your employees (or anyone else for that matter), you need to
decide whether all of the time, effort, energy and money is really worth it. This is a huge
investment and it is a change in life style. Are you ready for this?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

37
EMPOWERING LEADERSHIP Summary

Your first step is to understand human behaviour and by this I mean the “Five Basic Needs”.
This explains why each of us chooses the behaviours that we do.

Your second step is to strengthen your communication skills. If you want to influence
people, you need to practice your “How you say it skills”. You need to talk in terms of
“what benefits” your employee.

Then you need to integrate these principles into your everyday life style. You need to begin
to live what you believe in.

If you want your employees to see and use these principles then you can only model the
“empowerment” behaviours that you want to see them use. If you are consistent, your
employees will begin to believe you. People do what people see. Eventually, your employees
will begin to emulate you.

Now, do you understand how “Empowerment” works?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

38