TAKING THE STAGE®

DEVELOPING WOMEN LEADERS

NO PORTION OF THE MATERIALS IN THIS BINDER CAN BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE HUMPHREY GROUP INC. WWW.THEHUMPHREYGROUP.COM
 VERSION 2.2

SPEAKING AS A LEADER®, TAKING THE STAGE®, LEADERSHIP CONVERSATIONS®, COMMUNICATION FOR THE SENIOR LEADER®, THE
LEADER’S SCRIPT®, AND THE LEADERSHIP MODEL® ARE REGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF THE HUMPHREY GROUP INC.

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PREFACE
 For over 25 years The Humphrey Group has been focused on helping our clients lead
every time they speak. We take pride in working with executives, managers, and special-
ists to help them influence and inspire through communication.

We are also proud to have been a long-standing champion of gender diversity. Our firm
was founded by Judith Humphrey, whose achievements are a testament to what female
leaders can accomplish. In 2001 Judith envisioned a program to teach women how to
position themselves as leaders every time they speak. This program was rooted in her
firm conviction “that confident self-expression is the key to success in business and
life”1. The program you are about to experience is the culmination of that vision. It is
a program that in various incarnations has reached over 400,000 women globally, in
places as diverse as Japan, India, the United States, Mexico and Argentina.

The material in this binder is based on research, stories, and interviews presented in
Judith’s book, Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Suc-
ceed. The book and this binder will serve as resources for you during the program, and
as reference tools following your work with us.

The binder is organized into three sections:

• Part I: Taking the Stage Model. This section outlines the communications meth-
odology that you will use to take the stage. You will learn how to speak with courage
and confidence so you can be seen and heard as a leader. In Part I, you will learn to
choose to take the stage, create a Leader’s Script, achieve a physical presence, and
achieve a vocal presence.

• Part II: Take the Stage in Every Communication. This section provides a compre-
hensive look at how to apply the skills you learned in Part I to a wide range of com-
munication situations including conversations, meetings, Q&A sessions, and emails.

• Appendix. This section provides you with cheat sheets and resources. These will
serve as quick references for you when you want to apply what you have learned.

We encourage you to spend time reviewing all of this material during and following your
experience with The Humphrey Group. We are confident it will help you become a leader
who can influence and inspire in each of your communications.

1 Humphrey, Judith. Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Succeed. San
Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2014. Print.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE® 5
 TABLE
OF CONTENTS
preface

introduction

What it Means to Take the Stage 9

the leadership model

Choose to Take the Stage: Think like a Leader 15

Create a Leader’s Script 21

Achieve a Leader’s Presence 39

Achieve the Voice of a Leader 49

applying the model

Leading in Conversations 57

Leading in Meetings 65

Leading in Q&A 71

Leading in Email 77

Conclusion 85

Appendix 87

Annontated Bibliography 112

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE® 7
 WHAT IT MEANS
TO TAKE THE STAGE
Women have come a long way in claiming their positions of leadership in the workplace, but there is
still room to grow. Currently, women hold less than 6% of Fortune 500 CEO positions. As Warren Buffet
points out in his article “Warren Buffett is Bullish… On Women”1, American women have seen extraordi-
nary progress since the country was founded, but even today, only half of the country’s talent is being
used.

The most effective female leaders understand that taking the stage is key to their success2. Some
women call it “leaning in” to their careers, as Sheryl Sandberg encourages in her book Lean In3, while
others focus on confidence, as Claire Shipman and Katty Kay describe in their book, The Confidence
Code4. No matter what you call it, the message is the same: women need to speak up and stand out if
they want to earn respect on the job, advance their careers, and take leadership positions.

And many are! More and more women are becoming leaders in their organizations and finding success as
they take the stage. Yet countless numbers still struggle with taking this crucial step. We know that if the
number of women leaders is to continue to increase, more women must find the courage and determina-
tion to walk onto centre stage.

The Humphrey Group is proud to help women around the world embrace their role as leaders through
our flagship program, Taking the Stage. The Humphrey Group has delivered this life-changing program
to an international audience, resulting in a global success story.

Taking the Stage puts communication squarely at the centre of women’s leadership, by addressing so-
cialized behaviors that often reduce their ability to be seen and heard as leaders. Whether intentional,
or unintentional, this socialization has a profound impact on the way many women communicate. This
program was designed to provide you with insights into these behaviors, and the tools to present
yourself as a confident and authentic leader every day. Rising to this challenge might seem a daunting
task; however, Taking the Stage will give you the practical skills you need to take your place at centre
stage with confidence.

Before delving into this program, we must underscore an important fact:

The experiences of some, are not the experiences of all.

Many of the examples cited in this binder may not resonate with you and they may not reflect your
experience. But they do reflect the experience of many women around the world who are struggling
to find their voice. In learning about these experiences, Taking the Stage provides you with the oppor-
tunity to reflect on your own challenges, and become more conscious of the challenges other women

2 Buffet, Warren. “Warren Buffet Is Bullish...On Women.” Fortune. 20 May 2013. Web.
3 Humphrey, Judith. Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Succeed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2014. Print.
4 Sandberg, Sheryl. Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. First edition. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2013. Print.
5 Kay, Katty, and Claire Shipman. The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-assurance-- What Women Should Know. First edi-
tion. New York: Harper Business, 2014. Print.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE® 9
 face. By doing so you will gain the insights needed to strengthen your leadership, and support others
to do the same.

The Challenges

Research shows that many women struggle with socialized communication habits that can inhibit
their success as leaders. As girls, many women are nurtured to fit in and please others, which does not
always translate into success in the workplace. Below are some common examples of how communica-
tion patterns can undermine women’s success:

• A senior manager sits at the back of the room during a meeting because she feels she has nothing
important to contribute.
• An engineer uses weak language, which leads her colleagues to believe that she is unsure of her
work.
• An executive assistant speaks softly and phrases her sentences as questions rather than state-
ments, so her manager does not recommend her for a promotion.
• A sales manager uses minimizing gestures and poor eye contact when delivering a presentation
and fails to engage her audience.
• An entrepreneur cannot persuade potential investors to buy in because her ideas are too scat-
tered.

These examples are not the exception. Many women, from managers to those in senior positions, do
not speak as confident leaders. They remain unaware of how their mannerisms, speech patterns, and
mindsets hold them back from advancing in their careers. Discovering the communication skills to sup-
port your success is a process that can be learned. In this program you will learn how to take the stage
and, in doing so, take control of your personal success.

The Humphrey Group’s Definition of Taking the Stage

Taking the stage means embracing your role as a leader. Many assume that leadership correlates to
seniority or title. We at The Humphrey Group challenge that notion. For more than twenty-five years,
our coaches have worked with male and female leaders who are CEOs, middle managers and front line
specialists to help them view communication as an act of leadership.

At The Humphrey Group, we firmly believe that the sole quality that distinguishes leaders from all oth-
ers is their ability to inspire others to act.

When the most effective female leaders take the stage, they communicate in a way that inspires those who
are listening to embrace and act upon their ideas, regardless of their skills, education, or position.

Beyond rank and seniority, “leadership” has often been associated with assertiveness and dominance.
Historically, these attributes have been encouraged more so in males than females. Because of this
fact many women have had difficulty breaking into leadership roles when they did not exhibit these

10 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 qualities. There has been a shift, however, in how many companies think about leadership. You will
notice that in The Humphrey Group’s definition, the only distinguishing quality that a leader must have
is the ability to inspire action in others.

All leaders have different leadership styles. We have worked with effective leaders that describe themselves
as cheerleaders, motivators, quantitative thinkers, executors, people leaders, taskmasters, or drivers. No one
style is better than the other. The important thing to remember is that your leadership must reflect your
authentic self. As an authentic female leader, you too can be successful.

How to Take the Stage

The Humphrey Group’s Taking the Stage Model is a methodology that gives women the practical, con-
crete steps to be seen and heard as leaders every time they communicate. The four steps of the Model
will show you how to:

(1) Choose to Take the Stage: Think Like a Leader

(2) Create a Leader’s Script
(3) Achieve a Leader’s Presence
(4) Achieve the Voice of a Leader

By following these steps, you will develop the skill and confidence to communicate in an effective and
inspirational manner. Over time, this process will become second nature. The instructions you receive
from The Humphrey Group’s professional coaches will guide you through the course of adopting the
methodology and developing yourself as a leader. You will learn how to harness your innate leadership
skills and use them to benefit both yourself and your organization.

Many women wonder how the methodology that they learn in a course or coaching program will help
them when they encounter an unexpected opportunity to take the stage. The answer is simple: the
more you use the methodology, the more instinctive it becomes. Soon you will feel comfortable taking
the stage and with time and practice, this new way of communicating will become natural. You won’t
need to think about which words to use for certain audiences and you’ll have a list of messages and
structural options stored in your mind. The Humphrey Group methodology will enable you to take the
stage in every communication.

As women increasingly demand equality in the workplace, it is essential that they are seen as lead-
ers. The key to becoming an influential leader is commitment. This program will not transform you
overnight, but it will set you on the right path. You will view your communication differently and better
understand that you always have the opportunity to lead. Communicating as a leader is an everyday
process. A leader understands that she is always in the spotlight – she does not take breaks backstage
between acts. As Shakespeare writes, “all the world’s a stage” and you belong at its centre.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE® 11
PART I: TAKING THE STAGE MODEL
 CHOOSE TO TAKE THE STAGE:
THINK LIKE A LEADER
The objective of taking the stage is to help you develop the confidence to be seen and heard as a
leader. The first step in this journey is deciding that you want to take the stage. To do so, you must
adopt a leader’s mindset.

A leader’s mindset will help you think consciously about using communication as a vehicle for leader-
ship. It is an approach by which you become connected to something in yourself that you believe the
audience needs to hear and act upon. This is transformational leadership: sharing inner beliefs that
will transform how others think. How far removed this is from simply passing on information from one
person to the next!

A leader’s mindset is made up of six guiding principles, which collectively provide the foundation you
need to choose to take the stage. These six principles are as follows:

Principle One: Thinking like a leader begins with vision. All leaders have vision. Your vision must be
an elevated reality that you want others to believe in. You must define the vision as a possibility that
others can embrace or aspire to. Yet it must be concrete enough that people can grasp it as something
clear and achievable.

You should have a vision that is both meaningful to your team and your work as well as aligned with
the overall corporate vision for your organization. This vision, your vision, helps you to think “big pic-
ture”. It helps you to communicate about big ideas and allows you to ensure that your communication
is focused on pulling others in a strategic direction.

In 2009, the Harvard Business Review published a study by Herminia Ibarra and Otilia Obodaru that
showed that women outperformed men in most dimensions of leadership6. Vision was the one area
where men were notably stronger. How could this be given that women are typically very visionary?
How could this be when women are always thinking ahead, planning? This doesn’t make sense. Women
tend to be excellent multitaskers, and are often busy dealing with the present and accomplishing ‘lists
of things to do’ in order to get the work done. Many female clients we coach describe themselves as
“busy bees.” While “doing” results in a slew of satisfying checkmarks on the “to-do list”, the big-picture
thinking often suffers.

Principle one reminds us that women must set aside time to think about their vision and learn how to
communicate that vision at all levels. In doing so, women will be taking the stage.

Principle Two: Thinking like a leader involves conviction. Next, to bring your vision to life, you
must communicate the convictions you have about your vision and the possibilities it represents. This
means that you must know what you stand for and stand for it!

6 Ibarra, Herminia, and Otilia Obodaru. “Women and the Vision Thing.” Harvard Business Review. January 2009.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 15
 Because speaking as a leader is about sharing your convictions, it requires that you “go deeper” when
you speak. Developing this conviction will free you to speak not only about what you know, but also
about what you believe. It will allow you to develop strong, deeply felt messages for each audience you
speak to. It will encourage you to use powerful, passionate language; the language of belief rather than
fact. It will encourage you to see that audiences are yearning for something to believe in, something
to set their course by. And it will encourage you to see every occasion as a stage for your leadership.
If you accept this link between speaking and leading, and tap into your inner convictions, you will be
seen as a leader and you will influence people’s lives.

This act of speaking with conviction is uncommon and not easy. In our work with women leaders, we
find that many have great ideas and deeply held beliefs but that they often hesitate to share them in
the workplace. There are several reasons why this might be. First, some women confuse opposition to
their ideas with opposition to themselves. Many would rather not open themselves up to what they see
as criticism because it makes them feel vulnerable.

Second, many women question the significance of their beliefs, thinking that they may not be impor-
tant or that others won’t value their ideas. This concept is well-known as the ‘imposter syndrome’ – the
idea that, at some point, others will figure out that the speaker doesn’t belong, and that her ideas are
worthless. Psychoanalyst Marion Woodman, in her book Addiction to Perfection7, has named the in-
ternal negative monologue of the imposter syndrome as ‘the crow,’ – and it is something many women
struggle with. Women are often so busy challenging their own ideas that they cannot build up enough
confidence to make it to the “stage.” And this makes sense. Consider this: over the course of the day,
most women speak more to themselves than to anyone else, and there is no one they trust more than
themselves. So it makes sense that when they allow negative self-talk to permeate their thoughts, they
immediately believe it, and at that point the crow wins. If their convictions are weakened, they lose the
confidence to express them.

To take the stage, these internal voices must be overcome. Women need to know what they stand for
and have the confidence to stand for it. It is crucial because to inspire action in others leaders must
share their convictions.

Principle Three: Thinking like a leader involves moving from information to inspiration.
Traditionally, information was the mainstay of communicating. The more you knew, the more you were
worth. But as information has become more abundant, it is now innovation that drives success, making
ideas the new currency. To some, this may be scary – let’s face it, it’s safe to simply share information
as no one can argue with the facts.

Leadership is not based on transferring information; it is based on transforming people. Leaders must
move from an informational mode of speaking to an inspirational mode if they wish to engage and
move others. Inspiration is the realm of true leadership. It is achievable by any leader. Inspiration, which
comes from the words ‘into’ and ‘breathe,’ means to instill in others the life, energy, and passion that are
within you. To inspire requires you to speak with a deeply-felt message, bring that message forward,
and convince others to believe in it. You can inspire others whether you are speaking about your

7 Woodman, Marion. Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride: A Psychological Study.
Inner City Books, First edition, 1982
16 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 company’s business plan, your commitment to quality, or your excitement about merging two em-
ployee groups.

To take the stage, you need to approach communication as an opportunity to share your ideas. When
preparing for an update meeting with your project team, for example, you need to be prepared to share
what the information means rather than the information alone. It’s time to rewrite that “list of things to
do” to be “a list of ideas to share”. This will recast you from an expert on the subject matter to a leader.

Principle Four: Thinking like a leader requires courage. Although we agree that speaking about
your ideas and standing up for them is leadership, we can also agree that it’s not always easy. That’s
why courage is the fourth principle.

Thinking like a leader takes courage because others could (and should) challenge your ideas. And…
you could be wrong. In our experience, women are generally more hesitant to take such risks. To un-
derstand why this may be, we first need to look at how boys and girls, historically, have been socialized
differently.

From a young age, many boys are encouraged to compete (e.g., racing each other until one wins and
one loses), while in many cases girls are socialized to avoid such behaviours. Girls are often encour-
aged to play together, share, and avoid competition. This socialization (inadvertent or otherwise) can
result in two behavioral patterns that are important to this discussion of leadership.

One, many women display equalizing behaviours. This is what allows us to be strong collaborators,
good listeners and empathetic people – all highly desired leadership traits that we want to keep! Two,
it teaches men how to win and how to lose. Because many men have more exposure to winning and
losing they are generally more comfortable than women are when one or the other happens.

In our Taking the Stage seminars, we’ve heard women leaders tell us that they are as uncomfortable
winning as they are losing. You can see now why sharing an idea takes courage – you could be wrong
and you could be right.

Many women feel more comfortable sharing their ideas if they are confident the ideas are perfect.
There is an obvious problem with this standard - perfection doesn’t exist! That said, many women wait
until they know that their idea is as close to perfect as possible, which makes sharing it less risky. The
problem is, waiting for an idea to be perfect may cost women a great opportunity. The idea may be
taken by someone else or the timeliness of the idea may have passed. More women need to get com-
fortable with sharing ideas as they emerge. They may not be perfect or right but perhaps someone will
build on the idea to make it a great success.

Finally, it takes courage because communicating ideas and convictions demonstrates confidence. We
see that many women tend to be uncomfortable with this as they feel that confidence will be miscon-
strued as bragging - something they want to avoid. Women must show courage to overcome this feel-
ing and confidently celebrate the value they bring to their organization.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 17
 Leadership isn’t easy. It takes courage to take the stage. As a crucial step in your leadership develop-
ment, you must find the courage to share your ideas, and speak up even when you aren’t 100% sure.

Principle Five: Thinking like a leader is a constant, everyday process. It takes place not only at the
podium, but also in board rooms, meeting rooms, town halls, and phone calls. It’s everyday speaking op-
portunities that represent the essence of leadership. Informal events are increasingly the battleground
for persuasion, for winning over employees, customers, and senior management.

Remember, that on all of these stages, the mic is always on. How you “show up” in all of these interac-
tions shapes your leadership brand. For your brand to be strong, you must be consistent, and to be
consistent you must be authentic.

Knowing who you are and ensuring that what your image projects is consistent with that will help you
to achieve your authentic leadership brand. This means you must be mindful of what you say and how
you say it in every interaction. Be careful to only cast yourself in roles that are aligned with your desired
brand. For example, if you want to be known as a leader who is confident, visionary and inspiring, try
to avoid roles such as “secretary” or “event planner”. If you want to project an image of a leader who is
strong and effective, avoid roles such as “therapist” and “mother”. While none of these roles are inher-
ently negative, they are not helpful if they contradict what you want to be known for.

Every interaction is an opportunity to lead. By communicating as a leader every day, you will take the
stage and develop your authentic leadership brand.

Principle Six: Thinking like a leader is audience-centred. Many speakers don’t ask themselves,
“Why should my audience listen to me?” And they should. As a leader, you can no longer assume that
audiences will automatically agree with you or even care about what you have to say. Humans are
egocentric beings and innately take care of themselves. As a leader, your priority is winning your audi-
ence’s attention so that they identify with your ideas. But they won’t listen unless your style of com-
municating begins with your audience. How can your ideas help them?

Taking the stage means you must engage your audience by showing them what’s in it for them. It is not
about you. The first principle of engaging your audience is to not put yourself first in the discussion.
Your audience must be at the forefront of your mind even before you enter the room. As a true leader,
ask yourself, “What does my audience need from me?” “How can I move them?” “What message do I
want them to take away and act upon?” This motivational intention shapes everything you do from
choosing a venue, to defining the topic, to developing the message, to carefully building a case for a
specific point of view, to delivering the message with a level of passion that evokes that same level of
commitment in the audience.

Audience-centred speaking is tough. But leaders need followers, and speaking in a way that reaches
the hearts and minds of an audience creates followers. This intention should produce humility in the
speaker, and a sense in each member of the audience that the speaker needs them, cares about them,
and depends upon their commitment. By developing a sense of audience, you will take the stage in a
way that inspires confidence in your audience, and in yourself.

18 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Summary

The first step in taking the stage, is to choose to take the stage. This requires that you think like a con-
fident leader. Using these six principles and developing this mindset will empower you to approach all
communication as an act of leadership – an act you are worthy of. Making a conscious choice to take
the stage is critical for you to influence and inspire others. But this is only the first step. The second
step is creating a Leader’s Script.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 19
 CREATE A
LEADER’S SCRIPT
Once you have embraced the mindset needed to take the stage, the second step is to communicate your ideas
clearly and confidently. In this section we will discuss how to use the Leader’s Script and the language
of leadership.

These elements will help you demonstrate leadership every time you communicate.First, you will learn
to organize your thoughts effectively by using the Leader’s Script (see below). This template will be a
tool you can use to prepare a script for formal, informal, or off-the-cuff interactions. Eventually, as you
internalize this template, you will learn to focus your thoughts on the fly.

The Leader’s Script®

Grabber:

Subject:

Message:

Structural
Statement:

Point One:

Point Two:

Point Three:

Restated
Message:

Call to Action:

ORGANIZE YOUR THINKING USING THIS TOOL

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 21
 The first portion of this section describes the components of the script and how to use them to
organize your ideas.

Subject

The subject appears near the beginning of your script, after the grabber. It defines the topic you will
be discussing for the audience. The subject is not inspirational, but it’s not meant to be. Instead it lays
out the scope of the talk.

Here are some examples of how you can frame your subject:

• “This presentation will outline…”

• “I want to talk to you about…”

• “In this meeting we will explore…”

• “Let’s look at…”

Keep in mind the subject should be a single sentence.

Message

The most critical step in preparing the Leader’s Script is formulating the message. This argument
gives shape to your thinking and is central to your script. If you do not have a single, clear main idea,
you’ll come across as having nothing to say.

Or paradoxically, you will seem to have too many things to say. Speaking without a single message is,
quite literally, pointless.

Where Should you Place the Message?

Since the message is the most important part of your script, it must appear in both the introduction
and the conclusion.

22 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 DIAGRAM OF THE LEADER’S SCRIPT

By putting your message up front, you’ll be positioning yourself as a leader. The message conveys the
single idea you want to get across. The audience will then be listening carefully to see if you can argue
that idea effectively. Your listeners will evaluate everything in the body of your talk to see if you have
made a compelling case.

By returning to your message in your conclusion, you will tie everything you have said back to your key
idea. Your audience will then be able to evaluate whether or not you have sold them on your message.

What is Meant by a “Message” or Main Idea?

Your message is simply a point—the point—you are making about your subject. It needn’t be contro-
versial, although it may be at times. The message distils your vision and demonstrates your leadership.

For a leader, having a message is critical. It is that element of a talk that comes from within the speaker.
It represents your inner convictions. It says to the audience, “This is what I believe, and when I’m fin-
ished speaking, I’d like you to believe it too.” The message embodies your leadership: you want others
to believe and act upon it. It is distinctive from your subject.

How Do You Formulate Your Message?

The message provides direction to the speaker and audience. Make sure your listeners know this is the
focus of your remarks. Every message should be a single sentence that embodies five criteria:

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 23
 • It must engage your audience. Your message must touch the hearts and minds of your audience
so they are eager to hear you make your case. If it provokes no reaction it is either a platitude or
not a message at all.

• It must be positive. A negative message will never inspire. If you need to acknowledge a negative
in your message, make the dominant clause of the message positive and put the negative before
the positive. (“While it was a challenging year for us, we are off to a very positive start this year as
our revenues and profits are soaring.”)

• It must fit with your organization’s outlook. Every business presentation is a reflection of your
firm’s goals. For that reason your message should be positive and inspire belief in your company
or organization.

• It must reflect you. Your message should reflect your sphere of responsibility. As well, it should
reflect your inner convictions. You must be passionately committed to the message.

• It must square with the facts. Your argument must be based on sound research or deep insight
on your part, or your listeners will walk away shaking their heads. Be sure you can substantiate
your message.

Since your message is the central idea of your script, it’s important that your audience hears it as such.
For that reason, you want to frame it effectively.

The following bolded phrases are some examples of how you can frame your message:

• “The message I want to convey to you is that I’m confident we will come in under budget this
year.”

• “This presentation will conclusively demonstrate that our change in strategy has been effec-
tive.”

• “Our team firmly believes that a new approach will improve our competitive advantage in the
market place.”

• “My point is that by responding to customer complaints more promptly, we will improve our cus-
tomer service ranking.”

By stating your message in such a way, you will ensure you are making a statement of belief and con-
viction, rather than simply sharing information.

Grabber

While your message appears at the beginning of your talk, you can’t make it your first sentence. Only in
short comments should you begin with the message. Normally, you must engage your audience and pro-
vide context for your argument. This is the role of the grabber.

24 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 There are three kinds of grabbers:

1. The personal grabber is like a verbal handshake. It brings the audience and speaker together.
The speaker can:

• Share something personal (“I”)

• Share something about the audience (“You”)

• Discuss something that the speaker and the audience have in common (“We”)

A personal grabber may also be a combination of the above.

Here is an example of a personal grabber:

“It is with tremendous pride and deep emotion that I am responding today to the call of destiny
which sometimes takes us in a direction we might never have imagined. I am proud of the con-
fidence you have placed in me by choosing me as the 27th Governor General of Canada. Here
today, before all of you, I am turning a significant page in my own story as I set off on this new
adventure with hope and determination.”8

- The Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean 27th Governor General of Canada

2. The factual grabber provides the audience with background that sets the stage for your mes-
sage. The speaker can:

• Lay out relevant facts that set the message in context

Here is an example of a factual grabber:

“Good morning everyone. I would like to begin today by highlighting last week’s sales numbers. I’m
pleased to state that we had a record week with $100 thousand in gross sales.”

3. The literary grabber draws the audience into the talk because the material used is so interesting
and relevant. The chosen material can be quoted, paraphrased or told as a story. This grabber is
most appropriate for formal opportunities (e.g., speeches). Source material for this type of grab-
ber can be any of the following:

• Literature

• History

• Biography

8 Jean, Michaëlle. “Installation Speech - The Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean Governor General of Canada.” Quebec, Montreal. 27
September 2005. Keynote Address.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 25
 • Quotations

Here is an example of a literary grabber:

“Let’s start today’s meeting with a quote from our dear friend Murphy (of Murphy’s Law). ‘It’s
easier to make a commitment or to get involved in something than to get out of it.’ I would like us
to consider Murphy’s advice today as we determine our strategy for entering the low fee banking
market.”

The grabber is generally proportional in length to the talk. In a 25-minute speech, the grabber might be
several minutes. In a brief conversation the grabber might be 30 seconds. In a meeting comment or an
answer to a question, it might be one sentence.

Finally, the grabber should always relate to the message. A great story or joke that is followed by “And
now for my speech,” will not have the impact a leader is seeking. Instead, use the grabber to get the
audience ready to hear your message by linking the grabber to the subject and message that follow it.

Restated Message

Your conclusion also contains your message. By restating it you will ensure common thinking between
you and your listeners.

While the restated message should always be the same idea as your initial message, write or state it
in such a way that your audience knows you are concluding your script. For example, you might begin
with, “As I have demonstrated to you today…” or “As you have seen in our presentation…”

Call to Action

Your talk or remarks should end with a call to action. The call to action follows from your message. It
translates your main idea into actions that turn your argument into reality. The more concrete a call to
action is, the better. There are three types of call to action:

• First, the call to action can be directed to the audience. It asks them to act on your message and
suggests what steps they can take to achieve the goals you have discussed.

• Second, the call to action can be self-directed. In this case, you tell the audience what you will
do to turn the message into reality. For example, a senior executive talking to shareholders might
describe the actions management will take to realize the goals outlined in the talk.

• The third approach is a combined call to action. In this instance, you stipulate actions to be
taken by two or more parties, which may include the speaker and the audience.

Keep in mind that the call to action should always be concrete. This means instead of asking for sup-
port generically from your audience (“Your support on this project...”), tell your audience what you are
asking for (“The approval to immediately hire four full-time employees to work on this project.”).

26 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Make sure your call to action is also time sensitive. Set a timeline that will ensure your audience needs
to commit to the next steps you have outlined (“I’m looking for your approval to meet with investors in
two weeks to outline our strategy.”).

The call to action is one of the most exciting moments in a speech or presentation. At its best, it is truly
motivational because it translates the speaker’s message into action.

Structure

At the heart of every Leader’s Script is a clear structure. This organization develops your main idea and
shows the relationship among your ideas. Without strong structural elements, a talk, presentation, or
even an email becomes a jumble of information. As this chapter suggests, the pattern of organization
emerges from an outline, follows one of several models, and should be flagged so that no one misses it.
The structure defines the body of your script—and makes up the middle section of the Leader’s Script.

Developing an Outline

Before you write a presentation or deliver a set of informal remarks, develop an outline that elaborates
your message statement, as shown in the diagram on the below:

A MESSAGE-DRIVEN OUTLINE

Note that the main ideas (I, II, III) help develop the message and the subpoints (A, B, C) and do the same
for their main ideas. The diagram indicates the logic embedded in a well-structured talk. Everything
points back to and proves the main message. The outline can serve several purposes depending upon
the type of speaking you’re doing:

• For a formal speech, use the outline as the skeleton of the speech. The statements in the outline
will be incorporated into the speech.

• For a formal presentation, use the outline as your speaking notes. If you decide you want to use
visuals, it will be the platform on top of which you construct your slides.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 27
 • For an informal talk (without visuals), or if you are speaking in a meeting, use the outline as speak-
ing notes. Make the sentences short enough to see at a glance.

• For a brief comment, a voicemail message, or an answer to a question, prepare yourself with a
quick “mental outline.”

• For a written document or email, use the outline to shape the arguments you will convey.

The Structural Statement

After your message, but before you begin setting forth your key arguments, provide your audience
with a structural statement. This is a single sentence that tells your audience how you will be proving
your message.

Selecting Patterns of Organization

All scripts can be constructed by using one or more of the following patterns of organization. To be-
gin with, choose the one that best elaborates your overall message. Then choose patterns that best
develop each of the main points. Continue this process until the outline is complete. Remember that
every script should have one single overall pattern of organization.

1. The “Reasons” Model. This pattern advances your message by offering reasons why the audi-
ence should believe your message.

EXAMPLE:

Message: My message to you this afternoon is that to remain a market leader, we must restructure
our business immediately.

Structural Statement: Here are the four reasons I say that.

Body:
• First, we are facing new competition that is undercutting us on price.

• Second, our cost structure is feeling the strain of rising commodity prices.

• Third, customers are transitioning away from high margin, legacy offerings.

• Fourth, we are facing pressure from the capital markets to act.

2. The “Ways” Model. This pattern of organization elaborates your message by showing how the
message could be, was or will be achieved.

28 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 EXAMPLE:

Message: Our current initiatives are building confidence in the company’s leadership and direc-
tion.

Structural Statement: Let me give you the three ways we are doing this.

Body:
• The first way we are building confidence is by helping our employees understand the changes
that are taking place.

• The second way we are building confidence is by enhancing our leadership program.

• The third way we are building confidence is by delivering on the commitments we made a
year ago.
3. The “Situation and Response” Model. This powerful model can also be called the “Problem/
Solution,” “Cause/Effect,” or “Challenge/Response” model. It is a “dual” model that is used when
discussing a response to a challenge or a solution to a problem.

EXAMPLE:

Message: The rise of commodity prices, which has placed pressures on our business, provides an
opportunity for us to improve our efficiency.

Structural Statement: First I’ll tell you about the reality we face, then suggest how we can capi-
talize on it.

Body:
• Commodity prices are pinching our margins as a manufacturing company and they are chal-
lenging our competitiveness.

• Rather than letting this discourage us, we should embrace this challenge as a much needed
catalyst to finally drive efficiencies into our supply chain and procurement practices.

4. The “Present Results, Future Prospects” Model. This model describes a reality to date (look-
ing backward) and an anticipated reality in the time period to come (looking forward). It is espe-
cially useful in annual meeting speeches, quarterly updates or performance reviews. Think of it
as the “update” model in which you not only describe what has been, but also what is to come.

EXAMPLE:

Message: While the recent period of cost-cutting has created a set of challenges for all of you, we
are now well-positioned to be a more competitive organization in the coming years.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 29
 Structural Statement: First I’ll tell you about our results this year, and then I’ll share my vision of
the future.

Body:
• This was a challenging year for our company.

• Looking ahead, I see us as being well-positioned for growth in a market that holds great op-
portunity for us.

5. The “Chronological” Model. This model moves through a situation chronologically, using time
as the key organizing factor. A typical breakdown would be past, present and future.

EXAMPLE:

Message: This afternoon I’ll make clear why we are on the way to having exceptional call cen-
tres.

Structural Statement: Let me tell you about the stages in this journey.

Body:
• To begin with, we brought in great people to run our call centres.

• Next, we developed technology that put us at the top of the industry.

• Today we are refining our customer interaction strategies to improve service quality.

• In the future we’ll reap the rewards of all these changes.

Emphasize Your Organizational Statements

Where possible, use language and signpost words in all the structural elements to flag your pattern of
organization (e.g., “The first reason I believe that...,” “The second reason I believe that...,” etc.).

Referring to a “problem” and a corresponding “solution” flags the third pattern above. Temporal words/
phrases such as “in the past,” “today,” or “in the future” show you are using the “Present Results, Future
Prospects” model or the “Chronological” model.

Alert your audience to upcoming structural statements by bridging. For example, “So those are the
challenges that we’re facing. Let’s now talk about the four ways we can address these challenges.”

Subordinate Levels of Structure

While each outline should have one dominant pattern of organization, you may end up using multiple
patterns of organization to show why your argument is true.

30 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Consider the diagram below, which shows how a simple situation/response structure proves the mes-
sage. Such a model would be useful for very high-level speaker notes to be used in a meeting or off-
the-cuff situation.

SITUATION/RESPONSE STRUCTURE

But let’s say the speaker instead wanted to have a more thorough and fleshed-out argument, one that
could be used to deliver remarks at a town hall, or in an informal presentation to management. She then
needs to have a pattern of organization to argue the situation, and one for the response.

SITUATION/RESPONSE WITH REASONS/WAYS SUB STRUCTURE

Notice how there is one overall pattern of organization as well as a pattern to argue each main division.
This ensures that everything presented still shows why the message is true. But now let’s imagine the
presenter is giving a scripted speech and must have an outline that conveys even more clarity of think-
ing. Let’s look at how the next level of structure is created.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 31
 OUTLINE WITH THIRD LEVEL OF STRUCTURE DETERMINED

Again the speaker has applied the structural rules to flesh out each main division in the third level of
structure. This ensures that a more comprehensive argument is conveyed in a way that makes good
structural sense.

By using these subordinate levels of the structure you will ensure that each point is appropriately
elaborated for the listener or reader.

The Outline: A Foundation for Inspiration

Once you’ve completed your outline, you will have a framework of compelling thinking that will enable
you to inspire. You can use this outline as a guide in the following situations:

• As your speaker notes in a meeting

• To create visuals that convey your argument

• As the “bones” of a scripted speech

• To produce a memo or formal written document

• For any other communication where you wish to convey your thinking

Regardless of what format you are using, make sure you help your audience hear your thinking by us-
ing the structure to carry the audience forward into each new dimension of your argument. Without
such statements, the audience will be lost in a sea of content.

By constructing what you say around these interrelated statements, you will be certain to stay on
track. Your audience will have an easier time staying with you. So before speaking or writing, always
take the time to develop an outline. You’ll find examples of how to outline your script in the “Cheat
Sheet” for The Leader’s Script in the appendix.

When scripting yourself as a leader, it’s not enough simply to be clear on your ideas. You must be able
to express them the right way by using the language of leadership.

32 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 The Language of Leadership

Language is a powerful leadership tool, and that’s why using the language of leadership is essential to
creating a strong script. Language can convey conviction and passion to listeners. It can bring ideas
to life through evocative metaphors. It can be clear and unencumbered, conveying compelling points
efficiently. In short, language allows leaders to articulate their thinking to others.

Above we described how many women are socialized towards specific communication habits. This so-
cialized behaviour also affects how many women use language, which we want to explore here. Many
women adopt ‘weak’ or ‘minimizing’ language patterns that diminish their leadership. Although these
habits are also adopted by men, in our experience, they are more common, and more detrimental, to
women.

For these reasons it is critically important to choose language that positions you as a leader.

Career Killing Language Habits

While good language habits can connect the audience to ideas, poor language habits can equally cre-
ate barriers between the speaker or writer and the audience. It can confuse listeners by raising more
questions than answers, which will diminish the power of the speaker’s ideas.

The following are examples of career killing language habits:

• Asking permission to speak: “Can I add something...?”

• Apologizing too much: “I’m sorry but…”
• Posing questions when the answers are known: “Don’t you think we should explore…”
• Using modifiers that weaken the tone: “I really think there may be an opportunity to…”
• Favouring softer verbs: “Maybe we could think about…”
• Using the past tense: “If we tried…”
• Using prefatory qualifiers that undercut credibility: “I know I only have one year of experience...”
• Adopting caveats after making a strong statement or a request: “…but that’s just one idea…”
• Using emotional words: “I feel like this reflects…”
• Sounding overly grateful: “WOW…Thank you so much…”
• Using “I” in ways that undermine leadership: “I don’t think this is fair…”

Excerpt is adapted from Taking the Stage by Judith Humphrey9

To strengthen your leadership impression, you must eliminate the bad habits above, and consciously
choose the words that you want to use to express your ideas.

5 Principles for Using the Language of Leadership

Don’t lose heart — even if you are a repeat offender of the above language patterns, you can make
the conscious choice to change your habits. Great leaders in history have consistently used words to

9 Humphrey, Judith. Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Succeed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2014. Print.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 33
 evoke clear, compelling ideas in the hearts and minds of their listeners. Let’s look at five principles that
will help you speak with the language of leadership.

1. Use conversational language. When you speak, use the simplest language possible so that your
ideas come through. Note that your language still has to be polished and professional.

• Keep your words and sentences short.

• Use contractions like “I’m” or “I’ve.” These have a much friendlier feel than “I am” or “I have.”

• Use sentence fragments. They simplify listening and add excitement.

• Use repetition. In conversation we repeat words and phrases to create emphasis. This helps
us drive our point home.

2. Use personal language. Let the audience know there is a person with deep conviction speak-
ing. Your message will be more convincing and you will be able to hold your audience’s attention
better.

• Use the word “I” to show your commitment to the ideas being presented. Tell the audience “I’m
convinced...” or “I firmly believe....” You can also use language that involves the audience, such
as “I know you have concerns, as I do, about this process. Let me share with you my ideas.”

• Tell stories that bring your ideas to life. These can be drawn from your own experience, or
from that of your employees or family. And simple references like “What keeps me awake at
night is…” also personalize your talk.

3. Be concise. Delete words that have no meaning. Eliminate the “verbal obesity” that is so common
in business communication. Avoid:

• Using two words when one will do

• Extra modifiers (e.g., I very much appreciate ...)

• Wordy verbs (e.g., It is our intention to ...)

4. Avoid jargon. Eliminate language that is abstract, inflated, or too full of jargon and buzz words.
Avoid:

• Overuse of acronyms: OPS, SMG, WDW

• Noun clusters: Organizational Cluster Shift People Capacity

• Buzz words: alignment, sustainable, strategize

34 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 • Big words: employability, strategically-focused

• Poor use of metaphors: “We’ll play a brokering role.”

5. Use confident language. All speakers must lead their audiences. They can do so only if they
project an image of confident leadership. To convey such confidence, make sure your language is:

• Strong. Don’t say, “I think” or “I would guess,” but say, “I am convinced,” “I believe,” or just make
the statement.

• Active. Don’t say, “Action is being taken by your company” but say, “Our company is taking ac-
tion.” Don’t say, “It seemed to management that a decision had to be made.” Instead say, “We
made a tough decision that we take full responsibility for.”

Summary

Communicating your ideas clearly and confidently is the second step in taking the stage. The Leader’s
Script is a tool that draws out your message, and clearly demonstrates your thinking so your audience
can buy into it – and into you. But structuring your thinking well isn’t enough. You must convey your
ideas with language that presents a strong leadership impression.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 35
 The Leader’s Script®
Grabber:

Subject:

Message:

Structural
Statement:

The following points prove the message. They represent one of five patterns: “reasons,” “ways,” “situ-
ation/response,” “present results/future prospects,” and “chronological.”

Point One:
A:
B:
C:

Point Two:
A:
B:
C:

Point Three:
A:
B:
C:

Restated
Message:

Call to
Action:

© The Humphrey Group Inc.

www.thehumphreygroup.com
 ACHIEVE A
LEADER’S PRESENCE
So far you have learned about the mindset needed to take the stage and how to present your ideas
persuasively using the Leader’s Script and the language of leadership. This chapter focuses on bring-
ing all these elements together by achieving a leader’s presence. When leaders speak it is often said
that they have presence. But what is presence exactly? Who has it? Who doesn’t, and why? How do
you get it? This quality is difficult to define. When it comes to presence, one thing holds true: you know
it when you see it.

Imagine yourself at a meeting filled with the din of fervent discussion. A young woman sits across
the table from you. She appears quiet, drawn, and self-effacing amidst the conversation. Yet when
she opens her mouth to speak, everyone stops and listens to each word she has to say. What has she
done? She has engaged with her audience in a way that captures their attention. She has drawn on her
authentic presence in a way that compels them to listen.

Presence is a quality ascribed to a person who can connect with us and hold our attention. They are liter-
ally present in the sense of being “in the moment” and focused on the words and ideas they are delivering.
As a result, the audience connects with them. This ability to engage the audience and compel them to
listen creates a connection that is essential for all leaders. It ensures the audience is able to receive ideas
in a way that inspires them. The third step in taking the stage is to project a confident leader’s presence.

Unfortunately, many women don’t project a strong leadership presence, and this affects how their
ideas are received. Consider the following situations:

• A woman pitches an idea at a meeting. The response from the executive committee is lukewarm.
Ten minutes later, a male colleague presents the same idea. He is praised for his inventive thinking,
and a meeting is set up to devise a plan to get the ball rolling.

• A woman delivers a presentation to the board of directors. The information was spot on but she
receives feedback that she didn’t “WOW” them.

• A woman leads a weekly update meeting with her team. Time and time again, the meeting gets off
track despite her best efforts to bring the conversation back to the subjects at hand.

• A woman delivers a sales pitch to a group of investors. Throughout the meeting, she sees them
checking their phones, and generally disengaging from the presentation. Despite the fact that this
is a great opportunity, the investors walk.

These experiences are common to many professional women. A lack of strong leadership presence
often spells the difference between success and failure.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 39
 Leadership presence requires that women think not only about what they’re saying, but also about
how they’re saying it. No matter how persuasive a presentation may be on the page, no audience will
be engaged if the presenter’s non-verbal cues don’t convey the same confidence as her words. And
who can blame them? Today’s digital culture of short attention spans and innumerable distractions has
made it increasingly difficult to hold the attention of even one person, let alone a roomful of people.

Presence is an increasingly vital skill to develop and to project if you are to effectively take the stage.
By developing your presence, you will improve your ability to connect with any audience and ensure
they see and hear you as a leader.

Critical Assumptions about Achieving a Leader’s Presence

The following six assumptions underlie The Humphrey Group’s belief that all leaders can achieve pres-
ence:

• Presence can be learned. There is a common belief that you either have pres- ence or you don’t.
In our experience, this is not true. By learning what presence is and how to project it, you can
strengthen your ability to connect with an audience. Margaret Thatcher, for example, underwent
training to hone and strengthen her presence after she took the office of Prime Minister10. She
worked to deepen and ground her voice and mannerisms. She created a powerful, convincing lead-
ership character that also reflected her authentic strengths. In our work, we often see women who
have been typecast as nervous, introverted, or unable to hold a room overcome these labels and
recast themselves as “leadership material.” Recognize that you can learn to project a strong leader-
ship presence.

• Presence begins with clarity of thought. Each aspect of the Model discussed so far is necessary
to achieve a leader’s presence. You can’t have a leader’s presence unless you choose to take the
stage and tap into your convictions. If you’re not clear on what you think, you can’t say it confi-
dently. Use what you have learned about mindset and script to achieve clarity of thought. When
you are clear in your thinking you can show confidence in your ideas through your physical pres-
ence, your body language, pace, expression, and eye contact. Later in this section, we outline how
to use these physical tools of presence to connect with your audience.

• Presence involves connecting to inspire, not to entertain. Prior to working with The Humphrey
Group, many women tell us they thought presence involved speaking in a “rah-rah” tone of voice,
pounding the table, parading across the stage, using grand gestures, and adopting mannerisms
that scream “motivational speaker.” While motivational speakers are undoubtedly entertaining and
can hold our attention, they are seldom practicing the kind of consistent presence that defines
leadership. The same is true of many charismatic figures. Charisma involves a bit of flash that often
draws us in. It’s an aspect of certain personalities that can certainly add to presence. But presence
itself is something different. Presence comes from a deeper, more personal place. To achieve a
leadership presence, you don’t need to entertain. You need to inspire. This means connecting with
your audience in a genuine way so they can hear and understand your ideas and why you believe
in them.

10 Lewis, Russell. Margaret Thatcher: A Personal and Political Biography. London. Routledge & Ke- gan Paul PLC.: 1975. Print
40 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 • Presence is something leaders project in all situations. Presence is not just for mountaintop
moments. Leaders with presence are conscious about connecting with their audiences in all inter-
actions—from meetings to hallway chats to formal speeches. This everyday commitment can be
especially important for women leaders. Dara Richardson-Heron, CEO of the YWCA USA, has dis-
cussed her struggle with being more scrutinized than her male colleagues throughout her career11.
In some corporate cultures, women are still thought to be proving themselves. In order to do so,
consistency is critical. Richardson-Heron encourages women to do their best to project leadership
in all situations, so “if there are naysayers out there, they have so much less to talk about.”

• Presence must be authentic. There is no single kind of presence. Facebook COO Sheryl Sand-
berg, a business leader and author of the internationally acclaimed book, Lean In, conveys her
deep intellect with a warm, generous, and often humorous presence. Hillary Clinton has a different
kind of presence – one that’s more determined, driven, and bold. And Malala Yousafzai, a young
Pakistani crusader for women’s rights and Nobel Peace laureate, has yet another kind of exception-
al, authentic presence. She speaks with passion and intention beyond her age when she discusses
her goal of bringing education to girls around the world. Each of these women has an authentic
leadership presence. If you are quiet, you don’t need to become bombastic. If you are high energy,
don’t worry about becoming sedate. The best women leaders project presence by playing to their
genuine strengths in a way that allows them to convey their ideas clearly and inspirationally.

• Presence comes with practice. Like any skill, transforming your presence won’t happen over-
night. It will involve a continuous and deep awareness of how you project leadership, and practice,
practice, practice. Remember: don’t confuse authenticity with habit. Many women resist develop-
ing new aspects of their presence because it “feels inauthentic.” These changes may feel uncom-
fortable at first because they are not habitual. This doesn’t mean they are inauthentic. Practice will
reinforce the new skills you need to transform your presence, allowing them to feel more natural
over time.

These six assumptions show that you can develop presence. Leaders know they must inspire action by
connecting with their audience - and presence is an essential means of creating this connection. The
ability to do so consistently and consciously is what enables women to take their place at centre stage.

Physical Presence

Presence begins with attributes like clarity of thought, an intention to inspire, the desire to connect
with your audience in everyday situations, and an understanding of how to project your authentic self.
But it also involves an understanding of how to use your physicality.

There are four ways you can take the stage by projecting a leader’s presence physically:

1. Use Your Body Language

Your body is a powerful leadership tool when used to help you convey your ideas effectively. Yet
many women fail to stop and think about how to ensure that their body language supports the
delivery of their message. If you want your body to support your leadership, remember to do the
following:

11 Bryant, Adam. “Dara Heron-Richardson of the Y.W.C.A. on Persistence.” The New York Times. 7 December 2013.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 41
 • Take up the right amount of space. Consider the fact that “status” and “stat-ure” are closely
related words. When a woman stands tall, when she emphasizes her stature, the audience views
her as having more confidence and conviction, which in turn leads them to see her as some-
one with status who deserves respect. Despite this correlation between physical stature and
respect, many women subconsciously make themselves small. While women tend to be less
physically imposing than their male counterparts, they often further minimize themselves when
sitting or standing.

In her groundbreaking research on body language, Harvard Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy
studied how adopting powerful poses can make people more successful in professional settings
like interviews and presentations12. Cuddy argues that these “power poses” have a physiologi-
cal impact; holding them for even a few minutes changes testosterone and stress levels making
speakers less risk adverse, and more confident.

Women often stand crossed-legged or distribute weight unevenly on their feet. This creates an
overly casual or minimized presence. If you are seated, be wary of poses where your arms or
legs are crossed, and avoid positions where you are leaning back. If you have a choice between
standing and sitting, always stand unless the audience will feel it’s not appropriate. If you’re in a
chair, be aware that taking up too little or too much space will compromise your leadership. To
take the stage, you must take up the right amount of space.

• Eliminate physical distractions. Errant movement is distracting to your audience when they’re
trying to focus on your message. Jingling your jewelry, tapping your toes, and constantly flip-
ping back your hair or bushing it off your face can distract and even infuriate your audience.

Any noise or movement that does not support what you are saying detracts from it. When
standing, ground yourself and avoid swaying from side to side. When sitting, avoid nervous
movements or mannerisms (clicking a pen or swinging your chair from side to side). Allow the
audience to focus entirely on you and your ideas.

• Be open to and connected with your audience. To connect with your audience you must be
open to them. This means eliminating physical barriers. Many women when delivering a formal
talk prefer to have a podium. The result is they become disconnected from the audience, and
lost behind the podium. The same is true for closed body language.

Unless you need to look at your notes, get out from behind any barriers and connect with the
audience! If you are behind a desk, consider coming around and joining someone at a side table.
These obstacles can create physical barriers between you and your audience. If you want to
inspire, you have to connect!

Use gestures—but only to convey your message. Gestures are powerful expressions of think-
ing when done right. They can engage your audience by enhancing your ideas.

12 Cuddy, Amy J.C., Caroline A. Wilmuth, and Dana R. Carney. “The Benefit of Power Posing Before a High-Stakes Social Evaluation.”
Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 13-027, September 2012.
42 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 Make your gestures open. Use the full arm (rather than gesturing from the elbow or the wrist).
Eliminate “busy” gestures that are really just a way to get rid of nervous energy. If you are talk-
ing about growth, open or extend your arms to show growth. If you are talking about a transition,
show a move from left to right. When it comes to gestures, follow the advice of Shakespeare’s
Hamlet: “Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.”

Follow these steps and you will be able to use your body language to achieve presence.

2. Use the Right Kind of Eye Contact

Everyone knows that eye contact is important if we want to connect with our audience. But to be
effective, it must be the right kind of eye contact. After all, if you are just “scanning” a room, or
conversely giving someone unbroken “laser” eye contact, you won’t help your cause. Instead, you
must be conscious of using eye contact to create a strong, yet conversational connection with
your audience.

Effective Eye Contact in Everyday Interactions

Leaders know that eye contact is a powerful tool for everyday influence. It allows them to es-
tablish a connection with audiences who are increasingly distracted by emails, text messages,
or other people. It allows them to ensure that connection is maintained during the delivery of an
idea. And it allows leaders to assess the impact of the thinking they convey to their audience.
How can you use eye contact to achieve these outcomes? Follow these steps:

• Establish eye contact before you begin speaking. How many meetings have you been to
where the first speaker says “Good morning” but looks at the notes? Make sure that you con-
nect with your audience before you begin speaking.

• Make eye contact at the beginning and end of each thought. Conversational eye contact
does not mean looking someone in the eye indefinitely. Instead, focus on your audience at the
beginning and end of the sentence. If you establish your connection and then finish a thought
by holding your eye contact, no one will mind that you glanced down at your notes or turned
away from your audience for the bulk of the time you were speaking.

• As the group gets bigger, keep the connection with individuals strong. In large meetings,
many people make the mistake of trying to look at everyone and end up connecting with no one.
Instead, focus on a few individuals, and everyone will feel connected to you.

Using these techniques in your everyday interactions will ensure that you create and maintain a
strong connection with your audience.

Effective Eye Contact When Giving a Formal Talk or Speech

The challenge of speaking from a script or notes is that the physical separation between you and
your audience, and the formality of the occasion, can undermine your relationship to them. The
right kind of eye contact can bridge this “conversational rift.” Specifically:

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 43
 • Use the “up-down-up” technique. This technique is designed to allow you to read a text with-
out appearing to do so, and without needing to memorize. How is this technique achieved?
First, when you are reading a script, look down at the beginning of each new sentence. Take a
mental picture of the first few words in the sentence. With those words in your mind’s eye, look
up, pause, and deliver them. You’ll make eye contact, as you should, at the beginning of each
sentence. As you’re speaking, gradually let your eyes fall to the words on the page. Read the
middle of the sentence with your eyes down. When your eyes see the end of the sentence—they
will get there before your voice does—look up with these words in your mind’s eye. Deliver them.
You’ll make eye contact with your audience at the end of each sentence.

By using the up-down-up technique in your formal speaking, you will be able to forge a strong
connection with your audience while conveying the precise thinking you have prepared.

3. Use the Art of Pace

The third way you can project the presence of a leader is through the use of pace. Many women
fall into the trap of speaking at a pace that is too fast for their audience. This habit minimizes their
ideas and creates the impression that they don’t feel they deserve air time. When speaking, there
are two aspects of pace to keep in mind:

• Master the rate of word delivery or, how fast or slowly you speak each word. Christine La-
garde, the Managing Director of the IMF, is an example of a leader who delivers with excellent
pace. Lagarde has the ability to connect with diverse audiences, sometimes discussing highly
detailed and technical material, while maintaining a conversational, engaged tempo. You should
use your normal pace in delivering words, as you would in a good conversation. If you speed up
or slow down your normal rate of talking, you may sound artificial and will lack credibility. If you
rush through a thought, it will seem less important to the audience. If you speak too slowly, your
delivery will seem forced. That being said, you can vary your rate of word delivery to emphasize
or de-emphasize the significance of what you are saying. Slowing down the delivery of your
message will help your audience hear and remember it. As long as you are conversational, this
variety will be highly effective.

• Master the rate of idea delivery or, how fast or slowly you deliver each thought. Most women
need to pause longer between sentences, and in some instances, between significant phrases.
These pauses involve the audience, and help them listen. Think of the rate of idea delivery as
using the “power of the pause.” When you are about to speak each new thought, stop for a mo-
ment and look at the audience. This silence signals that the audience should care about your
next thought, as you do. After you have delivered a sentence, or a phrase, pause and look at the
audience in silence. This pause, combined with eye contact, says to the audience, “Did you get
that?” This is especially important if the information you are delivering is new to the audience.

These pauses may seem long to you, but they rarely feel that way to your audi- ence. When you’re
speaking, time seems to slow down, and you might feel that a half-second pause is three seconds
long. But the audience hears you in real time. Women who don’t pause long enough will quickly
lose their listeners. Don’t underestimate the power of the pause. Silence before an audience com-
mands attention and conveys confidence.

44 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Pace is a tremendous tool that allows you to place emphasis without needing to change the tone
of your voice. Mastering the rate of delivery of words and the rate of delivery of ideas will help
establish your leadership presence, and ensure that your messages are heard and remembered.

4. Create Expression
The fourth way you can project a dynamic presence is through the use of ex- pression. Expres-
sion is created through your voice and face. Expression helps the audience to “hear” what they
should think or feel about a given idea. The key is to use expression with intention. Here is how
you can do so:

• Smile! Some women struggle with what is commonly known as “Serious Face”. Their natural
facial expression is serious, often with the mouth slightly turned down or with a furrowed brow.
This gives the audience the impression that they are angry, irritated, or even aloof. Although this
may be your natural resting facial expression, it can create discomfort and confusion for your
audience – particularly when speaking with a positive message. A genuine smile connects you
to your audience.

The thing to remember is that your facial expression should reflect your intention. If you’re
discussing a reduction in profits or announcing layoffs, a smile is not appropriate. But in other
situations, a smile tells your audience that you’re glad to be there, and enthusiastic about your
topic. Beware, though, of the pasted on smile. This smile is often a reaction to nervousness, and
is disingenuous. Many women have been socialized to think smiling makes them more likeable.
This weakens their presence. One of the best ways to use your smile is to think of it as an inner
smile - one that allows you to exude an animated presence.

• Keep your head straight. Some women use a slight lateral head tilt to soften a challenging
message. This motion often goes hand in hand with an imploring facial expression or raised
eyebrows. This expression minimizes the speaker’s effectiveness by making her appear plead-
ing and, by extension, submissive. Deliver all your messages with a confident expression and a
straight head.

• Make your expression natural but heightened. It is essential to be genuine, and to avoid the
“motivational speaker” trap that too many women emulate in an attempt to energize the audi-
ence. Remember: the audience will draw their energy from the strength of your convictions, not
simply from the vocal energy you project - which will dissipate quickly after you are done.

• Place emphasis on the important words within a sentence. Not all parts of a sentence are
created equal. Help your audience hear what is most - and least - important by using emphasis.
For example, in the sentence, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” emphasis
should be placed on “best” and “worst” to highlight the contrast between those two extremes.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 45
 • Place emphasis on the sentences that are most significant. In a presentation, meeting, or
even a conversation, only a few thoughts will be of paramount importance. For example, your
message is very important, as are the proof points in the body. But the content that supports
those arguments should be delivered with less emphasis. Think of a talk as having a “foreground”
and a “background.” The message and proof points are the foreground; your supporting content
is the background. To help your audience “hear” the difference, modulate your voice.

• When working from a prepared text or presentation, plan ahead. Before giving a speech or
talk, go through your text and identify the main idea of each paragraph. This is the sentence
you want your audience to hear. Stress it accordingly, and allow the supporting material in the
paragraph to become subordinate to it. This will inject variety of pace and expression into your
delivery, and clarify your structure. You can also determine what tone you wish to convey - and
even put in the margin of your speaker’s notes a descriptor of what tone you wish to create (e.g.,
“our challenge,” or “excitement”). This will help you focus on your delivery.

When we go to see a movie, the soundtrack helps us watch it more easily because it tells us when to
be nervous, sad, excited, and happy. Without sound, movies would be much harder to watch. Think of
expression as part of your soundtrack - it helps the audience quickly grasp the ideas you are seeking
to convey to them. Make it genuine, and it will be a powerful tool for projecting presence.

Dress for Success

Presence is about connecting what the audience hears to what they see. This includes what you wear.
To be viewed as leaders, both men and women need to look the part. Women tend to have a wider
range of wardrobe choices than men do, which can make choosing what to wear tough. This is a touchy
topic, however; it’s important to recognize that while dress is a personal choice – it is also a profes-
sional choice.

When navigating how your choice of dress will affect your presence, consider the following questions:

• What does ‘professional’ look like in your business culture?

• What does a balance between ‘comfort’ and ‘appropriate’ look like at your company?

• At your company, who are the senior leaders you respect? What do you notice about their choice
in attire?

Dress affects how others view your leadership and is integral to presence. When you dress for work,
remember your choices are not simply personal, but contribute to the professional persona you are
cultivating. Make choices that are comfortable for you and that encourage others to perceive you as a
leader, and you will be dressed for success!

46 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Summary

Presence is a crucial skill for all leaders - and, fortunately, it is one that can be learned and mastered! By
using your body language, eye contact, pace, expression, and dress you can project leadership when-
ever you speak, and ensure your audience hears and sees the conviction you have in your message.
Take the stage with a confident leader’s presence – and don’t forget to practice!

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 47
 ACHIEVE THE
VOICE OF A LEADER
As discussed in the previous chapter, body language, eye contact, pace, and expression are critical to
achieve a leader’s presence. The fourth step in Taking the Stage is the ability to achieve a vocal pres-
ence. While vocal presence is closely related to the ability to use expression, it is more intrinsically
linked to voice.

Before you can truly create expression in how you speak, you must first understand voice. Voice is
simply the sound that is produced in the larynx and uttered through the mouth. This is different from
expression, which involves how you use voice to emphasize words and ideas.

When leaders take the stage, they give energy to the audience through their voice. This power capti-
vates the audience, and compels them to listen. This is called vocal presence.

Many women reduce this vocal power by softening or sweetening their tones, or speaking quickly to
ensure that no one interrupts them. Some struggle with “upspeak”, in other words raising the pitch of
their voices at the end of sentences, making statements sound like questions. Women who fall into
such minimizing vocal habits create the impression that they are unsure of themselves. Consequently,
they cultivate doubts about their leadership. Strong vocal presence is critical to inspiring your audi-
ence. The last step in taking the stage is to unlock the power of your voice.

Six Strategies to Unlock the Power of Your Voice

To be heard as a leader, you must unlock the power of your voice. As with each of the previous steps
in taking the stage, women often struggle with this essential component of leadership. Historically
women have been encouraged to minimize their voices, figuratively and literally. Yet, in today’s modern
business culture, companies are encouraging women to find their voices, ensuring they’re heard as
leaders. The following six strategies will help you to be heard as a leader.

1. Speak Up. Pursuit of perfection can affect the power of the female voice in numerous ways. The
most detrimental is a tendency for women to wait in the wings while others take a chance by
expressing their ideas. The result is a missed opportunity. To create a strong vocal presence you
must first have the courage to assume your rightful position at centre stage. Decide to speak up
– and do so more often!

2. Breathe Freely. The voice is a wind instrument that is powered by breath. We see, however, many
things that starve women of oxygen. For example, because fashion dictates skinny is beautiful in
many cultures, countless women wear tight clothing and suck in their stomachs to accentuate a
lean figure. This makes it near impossible to breathe deeply. Would you rather have a powerful
voice, or a slightly thinner figure? That’s a tough decision for many.

Being tense – either from fear or stress – also constricts breathing, as does poor posture resulting
from desk work. Too much caffeine, or a rush of adrenaline, can increase heart rate and encourage
shallow breathing. A negative inner monologue can also diminish the depth and pace of breath.
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 49
 When people are unsure of their subject or lack confidence in their convictions, they tend to take
more shallow breaths.

To get yourself breathing, exercise. Jog, take long walks, dance, meditate, or practice yoga—
these are all good for not just your voice but your whole body. Exercise makes the importance of
breath apparent: a body without breath has no power. The same goes for your voice. Commit to
taking in full breaths to fuel your voice. Here are two exercises to help you find your breath before
you speak:

Exercise: Take a deep breath. Hold it high in your chest and clench your stomach muscles. Note
how this feels. Keep holding it. Historically women spent centuries in corsets that made them feel
just like this. Now let out a big sigh, then soften all around your belly region and allow breath to
again fill you up from the bottom to the top. This exercise will show you what a relaxed and gener-
ous breath feels like.13

Exercise: Close your eyes and think of a place you find completely relaxing. Tap into what this
place would smell like. Picture yourself standing tall and taking in as must of the scent as possible
each time you inhale. Note how relaxed you feel. This is the way you want to breathe.

3. Turn Up the Volume. Cubicle culture encourages both men and women to speak quietly in the
workplace. Yet it is women, in particular, who tend to struggle to be heard. Why? Many young girls
are discouraged from being “bossy.” As adults, these women may overcompensate for this early
socialization by minimizing their voices. Some women believe that if they speak in a quiet or soft
tone they will appear modest and equitable. The result is that women tend to become too quiet
at the leadership table. They raise their hand and say, “Excuse me,” and often no one hears them.

Do women have strong vocal power? Absolutely! Women have fantastic voices. Think of sporting
events, or dinners with family, or running into close friends on the street – all situations in which the
voice tends to be uninhibited. All women have

the ability to pull in a deep breath and create a vibrant sound. An important step in
achieving this vocal power in the workplace is accepting that you have a powerful voice. A new level
of volume can be threatening, even scary, for many women. If you want people to take notice of your
ideas, you must put some power behind them. Know that you can audibly convey leadership without
losing your grace. Practice the following exercise to improve your volume.

Exercise: Singing. You can develop the habit of turning up your volume by getting comfortable with
the sound of your voice through singing. If you’re shy about singing in front of others, the shower
or the car are great places to practice without having to worry about anyone listening. Sing along
with your favourite artist! Once you are accustomed to the sound of your own voice, you will become
more comfortable with the idea of hearing yourself at the appropriate volume.

13 Humphrey, Judith. Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Succeed. First edition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass,
2014. Print.
50 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 4. Use All Your Notes. The human voice has a range of notes, yet few people use even a fraction of
their full range at work. Dull monotone voices are hard to listen to for any length of time – as are
tones that are shrill, overly sweet, or so consistently high that they are heard as “nasally.” All of these
static voices are easily tuned out. In contrast, dynamic voices capture and hold our attention. This
can be challenging when we turn up our volume. When increasing volume, we tend to raise our pitch.
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher struggled with this challenge as she had a naturally high
voice. As she put it, “One has to speak over the din to get a hearing in the House of Commons. This
is more difficult the higher the pitch of one’s voice, because in increasing its volume one automati-
cally goes up the register. This poses an obvious problem for most women. Somehow one has to
learn to project the voice without shrieking”14. To do so, you must tune into your range of tones, and
be prepared to use them well.

Exercise: Yawning. Actor Morgan Freeman—who is recognized for his distinctive voice—advises: “If
you’re looking to improve the sound of your voice, yawn a lot. It relaxes your throat muscles, relaxes
your vocal cords, and causes the tone of your voice to deepen.”15

Exercise: Imagine you have just come to the end of a long day or journey, and are finally sitting in a
place that gives you relief or peace. Tune into that sense of relief, breathe in deeply and release the
air with a big sigh. Do so again. Now take that big sigh and see if you can add sound to it. Instead of
just releasing air, there’s now a sound that accompanies it. Recognize that sound - the sigh of relief.
Let it go. At the end of one of those delicious voiced sighs, close your lips and end the sigh with a
hum. Try it again. Elongate that hum, and try to create vibration in the lips. This exercise will connect
your breath to sound.

5. Enunciate. A powerful voice is a clear voice. For your audience to be inspired by your voice, they
must understand what you are saying. Both men and women tend to under-enunciate – especially
when they are uncertain about their ideas. A statement may begin strong, then trail off into mum-
bling near the end. This not only makes it difficult for the audience to understand your point, but
also makes the speaker seem uncertain or lacking in confidence. Even if you are unsure of your
ideas, you don’t have to be unsure of yourself. Make certain that the last word to cross your lips
is as clear as the first.

Exercise: Practice tongue twisters, like this one: The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled
the throne throughout Thursday. Tongue twisters will help you think as you speak so that you
speak each word with intention.

6. Use Your Authentic Voice. To inspire others with your vocal power, your voice must be authen-
tic. Don’t confuse authenticity with habit. Habits are patterns of behaviour that we are comfort-
able with, and often substitute for authenticity. Your voice is shaped by your experiences along
with your DNA, and both are powerful in defining identity. Ask yourself, “Do I sound like a leader?”
“Do I have a voice people will listen to and be inspired by?”

14 Thatcher, Margaret. The Path to Power. New York: Harper-Collins, 1995. Print.
15 “Morgan Freeman Reveals the Secret of His Amazing Voice.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFxKt1sexVc
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 51
 If the answer is “no,” you may need to make a change. The first step is identify- ing potential vocal
habits you have adopted along the way that do not serve your leadership. Consider the following
learned vocal habits that make many women leaders appear less confident:

• The little girl voice - this high pitched, thin tone makes the speaker sound younger and less
confident than she really is.

• The cheerleader voice – this voice makes the speaker sound weak because she is trying to con-
vey ideas to the point of desperation. She speaks quickly and with extreme energy that lacks
the poise of leadership.

• The maternal voice – this “controlling” voice can be either loud and bossy or quietly domineer-
ing. To the audience, this voice may even sound manipulative or arrogant.

• The helpful voice – this voice often comes across as overly earnest, and inappropriately sympa-
thetic. It positions the speaker as subservient to the audience.

• The girlfriend voice – this is a sweet, coy, or sultry voice that attracts the wrong kind of atten-
tion. While it may have its side benefits, it does not convey leadership.

• The valley girl voice – this is a voice characterized by “upspeak”. All statements are phrased as
questions, giving the appearance that the speaker needs the audience to agree before she can
continue. Upspeak is a career killer, as it creates the perception that the speaker lacks convic-
tion and gravitas.

• The “disinterested teen” or frog voice – this voice is characterized by drawing out the last syl-
lable of words – often in a croaking voice. It creates the im-pression that the speaker is not
invested in the subject as a way of protecting her ego.

Summary

Strong female leaders understand the importance of voice. Your voice is your most influential instru-
ment for leadership. To take the stage, you must unlock its power. This means embracing your authen-
tic voice and fueling it with breath.

52 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

PART II: TAKE THE STAGE IN EVERY
COMMUNICATION
 LEADING
IN CONVERSATIONS
Taking the stage is not defined simply by mountaintop moments (i.e. formal presentations to thou-
sands of people). It is defined by the acts of leadership that women enact every day. These acts of
everyday leadership often take the form of conversations. Conversations at first glance are not obvi-
ous opportunities to take the stage. After all, a conversation can serve many purposes. It can allow you
to convey information, give an update on a project, reach consensus, or build a relationship. But these
priorities are all secondary to one goal: to convey thinking that inspires action.

Consider the following examples of seemingly “casual” conversations that present significant leader-
ship opportunities:

• A manager corrects one of her direct reports who refers to his mixed gender team as “my guys.” In
doing so, she shows the rest of the group that she values inclusive language.

• An analyst uses a positive performance review as an opportunity to ask about career development.
During the conversation, it becomes clear that her boss did not know she was interested in grow-
ing in her role.

• A vice president initiates a conversation with her senior vice president, who has made a habit of
micromanaging her direct reports. She learns that both her direct reports and her SVP think she
needs to be clearer about her expectations.

• A manager sees the president of her division at a networking event. She takes the opportunity to
introduce herself and share her idea for a women’s network within their company. The president
applauds her initiative and offers to help secure funding.

These examples demonstrate how critical it is to use conversations as opportunities to take the stage.
But taking advantage of such opportunities can be challenging. After all, there is often little or no time
to prepare for them. They are commonly fluid discussions where new perspectives are introduced by
both sides, and they can be tense or emotionally charged (such as difficult performance discussions).
In these difficult situations, the tendency is either to disengage or react to the emotions being ex-
pressed. Neither response demonstrates leadership in conversations.

Using the tools outlined below, you can ensure that you seize the opportunities that conversations
present and navigate dialogue successfully.

How to Lead in Conversations

Unlike presentations or formal meetings, conversations tend to be more casual and fluid. This can lead
to unfocused and ineffective interactions. Using a condensed version of the script along with strong
language will help you create clarity when leading in conversation while remaining open to dialogue.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 57
 CONDENSED LEADER’S SCRIPT

Using this condensed template of the Leader’s Script will also help you get into the habit of organizing
your thinking quickly, which is an important skill when you have little or no preparation time.

Use the Leader’s Script for conversations in two ways:

• First, use it to write your script ahead of time when you can. If you are planning to conduct a per-
formance review, asking for support for a project, or trying to convince someone to accept a new
position, you should write your script before the conversation. Pay close attention to your grabber.
Many women get bogged down in the grabber in order to “warm-up” the conversation. Ensure your
grabber transitions clearly to your subject and message. This will ensure you remain focused and
on track to inspire.

• Second, use it to script yourself “mentally” when you find yourself in an off-the-cuff interaction
where you wish to show leadership. Many important interactions are ones that you cannot prepare
for. These include chance encounters with executives, phone calls from angry customers, or spon-
taneous conversations with your team. In these situations gather your thoughts and be sure you
have a clear message before you speak. Think consciously about making a compelling case and
closing with a call to action. Once you have your script, you are ready to lead off-the-cuff.

Beware of Language Habits

Strong, confident language is critical in an effective conversation. In our experience, women are more
likely to use strong language when they script their thinking ahead of time. The opposite is true in the
moment. Beware of old language habits – particularly when you have to script yourself on the fly. Wom-
en often fall back on minimizers and fillers when faced with unexpected interactions. Take the time
you need to gather your thoughts, and speak with intention when you want to lead in conversations.

58 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 The Importance of Listening when Leading in Conversations

Conversations are not “speeches”; they are two-way dialogues in which you seek to inspire by sharing
your conviction. That is why it’s critical to understand the perspective and objections of your audience,
and to tailor your approach accordingly.

The Leader’s Script provides you with an outline you can use to structure your thinking in a conver-
sation. It also provides you with clarity about when to listen to your audience. Consider the diagram
below, which illustrates the four points during a conversation where listening enables you to lead.

HOURGLASS DIAGRAM

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 59
 Let’s examine how you can do this by listening in the four places shown in the hourglass diagram on
the previous page.

First, listen before you start trying to persuade! This is particularly important when someone else
initiates the conversation. In conversations that are initiated by someone else, and in chance encoun-
ters, it is critical to listen for the opportunity being put in front of you. You need to gauge many things,
including what your audience is thinking and feeling, and whether the timing is right to turn the discus-
sion into a leadership conversation.

In conversations where you initiate the discussion, you will likely have a good sense of the opportunity
in front of you. In such interactions, you can gauge the mood or perspective of your audience. You
can usually move quickly to your grabber because you are ready to shape the conversation with your
subject and message.

Second, listen closely after you deliver your message. This is one of the most important moments
in a conversation. You have just conveyed a statement that should both reflect your convictions and
challenge your audience’s views. How will they respond? If your message is truly engaging it should
provoke a reaction or questions. Rather than jumping to your proof points, allow time for your audience
to digest what they’ve heard and draw conclusions about how they feel. Pause, listen, and even probe
if necessary to understand how they are reacting. You can then tailor your proof points to respond to
their views.

Third, listen after each key point you make in support of your message. The infor- mation you get
after you deliver your message will allow you to bring forward the right supporting arguments. After
you deliver each argument, listen to the audience’s reaction and reservations. Check for agreement—
or at least understanding— before you move on to the next point. Don’t move on to your restated mes-
sage until you feel you have brought forward the points that address all outstanding concerns.

Finally, listen after you state your restated message. The restated message is where you test
whether or not you have moved your audience and inspired them to embrace your convictions. To de-
termine the extent to which you have done so, listen to their reaction to the message. Are they ready
for your call to action, or do they need more persuading? Only your audience can tell you, and you must
listen to determine the answer.

Sample Scripts for Analysis (Effective and Ineffective)

Situation: Nina, a director, is being considered for a promotion. After undergoing a 360 evaluation, she
learns that she has received excellent ratings from her boss and direct reports, but poor ratings from
her peers. There are two colleagues in particular, Chris and Ashley, who Nina feels have been unfairly
harsh in their assessment of her. She books a meeting with her boss, Lucas, to discuss the evaluation
and the upcoming opportunity. Knowing that he is looking for a strong leader, she wants to project
confidence and strength. She also wants to ensure that her negative review hasn’t put her out of the
running for the promotion. She is unsure about whether she should mention Chris and Ashley by name.

60 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 An Ineffective Script

Lucas waves Nina into his office. As she walks in she begins…

NINA: Hi, Lucas. Thanks for squeezing me in today. I know you’re busy, but as I said in my email, I just
want to talk to you quickly about my 360-evaluation results. I know they’re a crucial part of the consid-
eration process for the promotion, so I wanted to talk about it with you today.

LUCAS: Sure, Nina. What is your concern?

NINA: I was very pleased by the ratings I got from my direct reports and from you. Thank you. I guess
you could say that I wasn’t really that happy with the ratings I got from my peers.

LUCAS: I noticed that your ratings were considerably lower in those areas.

NINA: I was really surprised to see that.

LUCAS: I was surprised to see it, too.

NINA: I guess I’m wondering how much weight this has. I don’t feel that those ratings reflect the rela-
tionships I’ve built with my peers. I think most people think I am a good manager. Maybe not everyone,
but…

LUCAS: There’s a lot of positive feedback in that evaluation that you can build on. Your peer relation-
ships are an area for development that you should keep in mind, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

NINA: OK. Thanks for your time today, Lucas.

Analysis: This script is ineffective for several reasons.

• It lacks a clear subject. Even though Nina wants to know how her 360-evaluation results will af-
fect her eligibility for the promotion, she doesn’t ask this directly. In neglecting to do this, she risks
sounding passive-aggressive and might miss getting her point across.

• The script lacks a message. Because she doesn’t identify her own convictions clearly before the
meeting, Nina misses the opportunity to reiterate that her strengths make her a strong contender
for the position, and she doesn’t express her belief that her peer relationships are stronger than the
evaluation would suggest until the end of the conversation.

• Nina undermines her strength and leadership with minimizing language (“I just wanted to,” “I guess
you could say,”), qualifiers (“I know you’re busy, but”), and self-deprecating language (“thanks for
squeezing me in”).

• Nina doesn’t close with a clear call to action. As a result, she is no better off after the conversation
than before she started it.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 61
 Effective Script

NINA: Hi, Lucas. Thank you for meeting with me today. As I said in my email, I want to discuss my
360-evaluation results. I know they’re a crucial part of the consideration process for the promotion,
and some of my ratings were lower than I had hoped.

[Listens]

LUCAS: I noticed that, too.

NINA: I want to better understand why my peer ratings were low, and what I can do to improve. I believe
that I’m a strong contender for the position, and that I have the relationship-building skills necessary to
lead this team. [Probes] What do you think I can do to strengthen my lateral relationships?

[Listens]

LUCAS: I’ve noticed that you don’t spend much time with the other directors, Nina. Your have more
direct reports than the others and they take up a lot of your time. I think that some of the other direc-
tors might feel that they don’t know you very well, or that your attention is always on your own team.

NINA: That’s a good point. I do spend considerable time mentoring my direct reports and ensuring that
they have the support they need from me. Since my ratings from them were strong, perhaps I should
focus more of my energy on getting to know some of the other directors. [Probes] What do you think?

[Listens]

LUCAS: I think that would be a good idea. A strong understanding of what the other teams are work-
ing on is crucial for the managing director position. If you can build that, you’d be a strong contender.

NINA: Thanks, Lucas. I am very interested in the position. I’ll take your advice and focus on building
relationships with the other directors and understanding the work their teams do. I’d like to keep you
updated on this. Let’s set up another meeting for early next quarter.

LUCAS: That sounds like a great idea.

NINA: Great. Thanks for your time today, Lucas.

Analysis: This script is more effective for several reasons.

• Nina clearly articulates her subject (“I want to better understand why my peer ratings were low,
and what I can do to improve”).

• She states a clear message early in the conversation (“I believe that I’m a strong contender for the
position and that I have the relationship-building skills necessary to lead this team”).

62 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 • Her language is polite and respectful without being minimizing or self-deprecating.

• She probes (“What can I do to strengthen my lateral relationships?”) to elicit the specific feedback
she needs.

• She uses open-ended questions (“What do you think?”) to draw out more sensitive information
that is difficult to ask for directly.

• She closes with a clear call to action by stating that she will report on her development at another
meeting set for early next quarter.

Summary

Leaders recognize that every communication represents an opportunity to influence. Taking the stage
means leading on and off the stage – in everyday conversations. To lead in conversations, remember
to listen well and to script yourself in advance where possible. ”Conversation” doesn’t have to mean
unprepared!

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 63
 LEADING
IN MEETINGS
Today, most managers and executives spend the bulk of their day in meetings. While presentations,
speeches, and other “command performances” are important to their success, it is in meetings where
leaders must be consistently effective. Yet virtually all of our clients tell us that they find they are
not consistently capitalizing on the opportunities that meetings present—whether leading or simply
participating.

The reasons for these missed opportunities are numerous. Managers often jump from meeting to
meeting with little time to prepare. Many meetings are not relevant and manager participation is more
to “show the flag.” Other managers find that when they do need to make a point they aren’t ready with
their thoughts and the moment passes them by. And managers who lead meetings face a host of ad-
ditional challenges, like keeping people focused on the task at hand. Given the reasons outlined earlier
in this binder, these obstacles make many women uncomfortable. As a result, their leadership suffers.

Despite these challenges, meetings can be productive—if approached the right way. Effective leaders
recognize that while meetings serve many purposes (networking, information sharing, persuasion),
they are ultimately best used as a forum to inspire action. Meetings represent opportunities to take the
stage, and they should consciously be approached as such.

Guiding Principles for Leading in Meetings

Approaching meetings as leadership opportunities allows you to use these momnents to create be-
lievers and inspire support for your ideas. You will also gain access to valuable insights that will better
enable you to influence and lead others. Follow these guiding principles whether you are participating
in, or chairing a meeting.

Leading as a Participant

Being in the room during a meeting doesn’t make you a participant. To be a participant you must actu-
ally participate. For the reasons explored earlier in the Model, many women struggle with participating
in meetings – particularly those where senior leaders are present. Often, women are concerned with
taking up too much airtime during a meeting, or presenting ideas that are not formed to perfection.
This mindset can manifest as a lack of participation, or weak participation (e.g., “Could I just add
something?”). Meetings are opportunities to share ideas. When you show leadership as a participant,
everyone benefits. When you are participating in meetings, follow these guidelines.

1. Meet with the intention of inspiring action.

Commit to taking the stage in meetings – and take up airtime. Before you go to a meeting, analyze
the audience and the opportunity. Is there a major project you are championing where there is
not sufficient support from your fellow executives to move forward? Think of using the meeting
to win over the holdouts. Are you and the head of another division at odds over a capital project?
Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 65
 Use the meeting to deal with the issue and build consensus for the project. Is your team onboard
with a restructuring? Use the meeting to ensure they remain focused on it. By developing clarity
about your audience and opportunity, you will position yourself to lead.

2. If you can’t find an opportunity to inspire—do your best not to attend.

Leaders recognize that to really drive action they must use every interaction to reach others.
From time to time certain audiences present no such opportunity. In such cases try to avoid the
meeting and instead focus on a more compelling opportunity. If you can’t get out of the meeting
(if your boss insists you go, for example) remain engaged. Or, look for new opportunities that you
could pursue and that your boss would support.

3. Once you know whom you’d like to inspire, script yourself.

Most corporate meetings are haphazard gatherings where the participants simply show up having
done little to organize their thinking. With alarming frequency people will arrive and ask, “Why are
we meeting?” Don’t make this mistake. Instead, organize your thinking using the Leader’s Script.
Develop a clear message and a supportive argument that you can use during the discussion. This
will allow you to focus on your audience and listen to how they are receiving your message, rather
than on what you need to say.

4. Enter the discussion the right way.

When the meeting shifts to a topic where you wish to show leadership, consciously look for the
right moment to enter the dialogue, and do so by using your vocal presence. This is where a good
grabber becomes so important, because it allows you to weave together what is being said in the
meeting by others and make a smooth and confident transition to your subject and message. In
doing so, you will keep the “flow” going but begin to shape the dialogue. If the meeting does not
naturally segue to your topic, don’t miss your opportunity! Again, use a grabber to bring the au-
dience around to what you want to talk about (e.g., “We’ve looked at the budget on this project,
but before we close off the discussion, I really want to make sure we’ve considered all the risks
here.”).

5. Deliver your message, make your case, close with action.

Once you’ve focused the audience’s attention with your grabber, get your message out by using
confident language.

Doing so should provoke debate (or occasionally even agreement!). You can then use supporting
points to make your case. When you feel the audience has moved as far as possible on an issue,
given time and circumstances, close with a call to action to ensure a commitment to the next
steps.

By following these principles you will be able to lead and drive action in meet- ings—while your
fellow participants are still puzzling over what ideas they wish to convey. Remember, in longer

66 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 meetings you may have to develop several key messages, supporting structures and calls to ac-
tion. The more organized you are in your thinking the more time you can spend on the audience
and on gauging what it will take to inspire their support and commitment.

Leading as a Chair

Leaders view meetings they are chairing not as burdens but as opportunities. They take the stage and
drive toward inspiring action. Sometimes that action is to drive the group to a consensus; other times,
it is simply to ensure that all parties are willing to debate the merits of an initiative. If you are chairing
a meeting, follow these additional guidelines:

1. Figure out who will (and should) be in the room.

Take the time to assess who will be in the meeting and what you wish to inspire them to do. De-
termine whether you should invite others who could bolster your cause, or if there are people who
should be excluded because they might block your efforts. Then assess who your real audience is
(e.g., key decision-makers and influencers).

2. Organize your thinking ahead of time.

It’s likely you’ll have to speak to achieve your goal. Follow the steps outlined earlier so you script
yourself ahead of the meeting. If you are responding to an extemporaneous situation, listen care-
fully for your opportunity, and even before you open your mouth, think, “What’s my message?”

3. Prepare a message-driven agenda.

Most agendas are dull and too open-ended. Because they are topically organized, they simply
define the subject of the discourse without shaping the thinking of the participants.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 67
 Compare the two agendas below:

STANDARD AGENDA VS. MESSAGE-DRIVEN AGENDA

Even though both agendas define the same topics, the one on the left lacks any leadership. It has
no message to shape the discussion, and its main sections lack any cohesive thinking. The agen-
da on the right has a message, and each topic is accompanied by a main point that will shape the
discussion. There is even a call to action at the bottom. This agenda does not presume to provide
all the answers, but it definitely shapes the discussion and positions the moderator as a leader.

4. Open and close the meeting.

Many leaders fail to capitalize on these motivational moments and instead simply “get things
started.” If you are leading the meeting, even if you are not the most senior person in the room, you
should open by providing some context (your grabber), defining what you are there to talk about
(subject), and delivering an idea that will shape the discussion (message). This opening need not
be grandiose (in the case of a weekly meeting), but it be welcome. Additionally, it will consistently
position you as a confident leader in the room. Similarly, close the meeting by restating your

68 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 message and recapping what was agreed to. Close with a call to action that defines the next steps
and obtains a commitment to action.

5. During the meeting, keep the discussion focused and on target.

As the leader of the meeting, you have established at the outset what needs to be covered and
what opportunity the meeting presents. Keep the discussion focused on those two goals. Women
tend to be great listeners – and enjoy listening! This can, however, create challenges when people
look to derail a meeting. In these instances, some women are hesitant to stop the speaker. Keep-
ing a meeting on track will often require you to intervene to keep a discussion on point. It may also
require that you ask people to voice their opinions (if they are quiet) or to hold off from further
expressing their views (if they are too outspoken). Always ask yourself, “Is this discussion leading
to the kind of outcomes that it should?” If not, take control and drive it the right way.

6. Make sure you are heard too—but do not rush to speak.

When leading meetings, you must walk a delicate line. You have the power to move the discus-
sion, to call on individuals, and to close out a debate to keep things on track. Yet, in addition to
facilitating, you likely will want to participate and ensure your views are heard. Unless you feel
strongly that you must speak on a certain topic early, lean toward holding your views until others
have spoken. This will allow you to choose when to spend your “political capital,” and how to build
your views on those of others.

In following these guidelines you will be able to take the stage and drive action, as a participant or chair
of any meeting.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 69
 LEADING
IN Q&A
Answering questions well is a critical skill for leaders. Yet, this type of interaction presents two distinct
challenges. First are the structural points: you have very little time to think in a Q&A situation. You
need to analyze the question, decide what the audience needs to know or believe, and decide your key
message.

Second, beyond the structural challenges, are the leadership issues. A master of Q&A knows that each
question is a leadership opportunity. An answer works for a leader only if it serves this larger purpose.
So in addition to answering a question, you need to take control of the response and use the answer
to get your key message across. And if you’re answering a question from a hostile or disgruntled indi-
vidual, it’s particularly important that you take the high road, and avoid the temptation to return “like
for like.”

Many women struggle with Q&A for numerous reasons explored earlier in this binder. “The crow,” in
particular, with its continuous dialogue undermines the confidence of some women when they are
faced with tough questions. But answering questions is part of most business interactions from formal
presentations, to meetings, to one-on-one encounters. Your ability to answer questions well will distin-
guish you as an articulate and confident leader.

By following the guidelines discussed below, you will be able to handle yourself professionally and
present your messages persuasively in all Q&A situations.

1. Be Prepared

Prepare for each Q&A session with a set of clear, well-developed messages. This will support your
confidence in challenging situations. For formal events, such as addressing the media or speaking
at an internal town hall, these key messages should be written out. For everyday Q&A situations,
your best preparation is to keep key messages about your company, your mandate, and your team
in mind. Every leader should have a set of key messages that become a way of thinking.

2. Listen Well

There are two traps commonly associated with listening. First, too often speakers start mentally
framing their answers before the question has been asked. As a result, they may miss the point.
Another trap people fall into is that they don’t listen to the question within the question. Often
what’s asked is not the real question. For example, someone might ask an executive, “How many
women do you have at the senior vice president level?” The real question behind those words is,
“Does your company have a practice of promoting women to senior levels?” If the speaker realizes
this, he or she will not only answer the question narrowly with a fact, but will answer more broadly
with an affirmation of the larger position the company is taking toward women.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 71
 3. Use the Leader’s Script to Structure Your Responses

The Leader’s Script is a template leaders can use to develop persuasive talks. This model is also
for designing answers to questions. Every good answer should have the following:

CONDENSED LEADER’S SCRIPT

Here is the Proper Sequence in an Answer

• Your grabber bridges from the question to your key message—and contains an answer to the
question being asked. The grabber in an answer can segue from the question by:

(1) Empathizing with the questioner (e.g., “I understand why you asked that question,” or “If I were
in your situation I’d be asking that myself.” But don’t say “That’s a good question,” since that’s an
overused stalling tactic!

(2) Getting rid of negatives (e.g., “I know you are concerned about the increasing workload that
will come from this reorganization.”) Use this strategy if there are buried negatives in the question.
This will allow you to move on to a positive answer.

(3) Dealing with traps (e.g., “The number you quoted is actually inaccurate – our forecasted growth
is 7%, not 3%”). If you are dealing with inaccuracies, assumptions, or even the absence of a ques-
tion at all, address them before providing an answer or they will undermine the foundation of your
response.

(4) Providing context (e.g., “I should tell you that the budget number you are asking about rep-
resents only ½ of 1% of our budget increase…so even if we did cut that out it would lead to little
change in our numbers.”) This is important when the audience requires perspective so they can
understand the answer’s significance (or lack thereof).

But regardless of what kind of bridge you use—or whether you need a bridge at all—your grabber must
culminate in and contain the answer to the question. Unless you answer the question put to you, your
audience will have little patience for a message. An answer can be a simple, “yes,” “no,” or “$520M in
capital spending.” Or, an answer can be “We don’t predict that far out,” or, “There is no specific

72 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 number we have in mind.” Giving the answer satisfies the audience and earns you the right to deliver
your leadership message.

After you have provided a grabber, you can then move to your message, which is the focal point of
your reply.

• Your message is the focus of the reply. It reflects your leadership thinking and is the main idea that
you need to get across to the audience.

• Your structure consists of two or three supporting points that elaborate the message. The key
points can be arranged in a simple pattern of organization that provides the ways that the mes-
sage is true, or the reasons why it’s true, or a challenge and response. For all five patterns, see the
chapter called “Create a Leader’s Script.”

• The call to action is the final element of an answer. It creates a powerful ending by showing how
the message will be acted upon. For example, “I am committed to this strategy and know our lead-
ership team is behind me.”

Here is an Example of a Well-Structured Answer

Question: There are drilling sites coming up for sale in the North Sea. How much would you be willing
to spend?

Answer: [Grabber] There is no number we have in mind. [Message] I can tell you that we are always
on the lookout for growth opportunities, and if such an opportunity comes up we would carefully con-
sider it. [Point one] It would have to be financially attractive. [Point two] It would have to be of a man-
ageable size. [Point three] It would have to fit with our international strategy. [Restated message] By
scrutinizing any potential acquisition in this way, we can ensure it will be a success. [Call to action]
And it’s this thinking that will enable us to continue our record of profitable growth.

4. Be Positive

There is no reason to think of a Q&A as an adversarial situation. It is an opportunity to share ideas

and convey your viewpoint. So, be helpful. Never say “No comment.” Instead, move to your high-
ground message. You can do this by moving from the problems posed, to positive answers that
respond to these issues. Never repeat or get bogged down in negatives.

5. Be Confident

When many women speak off-the-cuff they often sound less confident than they should. The
reason is that they’re formulating ideas on the spot, and their thinking has not gelled. They use
expressions like “I think that…” or, “My guess is…” or, “It could be that…” They also use words or
phrases that give them wiggle room. For example, “I’m not sure but…” or, “We don’t have all the
numbers in, but…” Avoid such tentative language in Q&A. It’s better to make a firm statement

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 73
 (even if that statement is that you cannot give them an exact figure) than to sound tentative and
confused. A leader should sound confident.

6. Be Careful

Watch for the following common pitfalls when answering questions:

• Questions based not on fact, but on assumptions.

• Loaded questions laced with inflammatory or prejudicial adverbs and adjectives.

• Questions that are, in reality, speeches or position statements.

• Questions that are several questions lumped together.

In replying to any of these potential “traps,” always take the high ground. Remember the positive
message you have come to convey. Build it into your reply. In response to an extremely tough
question, say something like, “That deserves a longer answer. Let’s discuss at the end of the pro-
gram.”

If a question is patently outrageous, politely tell the questioner that there is no appropriate an-
swer to that question, or simply smile and take another question.

If you don’t know an answer, say you’ll be happy to get back with the answer later. Tell the ques-
tioner you’ll take his or her name immediately after the Q&A session.

7. Use Your Delivery Skills

Remember that a question is another opportunity to speak with the presence and voice of a
leader. Here is how you can take the stage in Q&A by putting your delivery skills to good use:

• Pause before answering each question. This will help you marshal your thoughts before talk-
ing. It will also let the audience see that you are confident, thoughtful, and unwilling to shoot
from the hip.

• Speak with a clear and authentic voice. Pausing gives you time to gather your thoughts, but
it also gives you time to breathe deeply. Fuel your voice with breath, and respond with a con-
fident and authentic voice.

• Address your answer to questioners directly. Keep eye contact with them throughout the an-
swer. Alternatively, begin by looking at the questioner, then establish eye contact with others
in the room, and finish with your eyes directed back at the question.

• Pause after each reply. This silence will give your audience a chance to think about what you
have said.

74 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Summary

Handling a Q&A session can be a daunting process. It requires quick, yet organized thinking. It requires
a sense of audience, as well as a sense of the larger message you want to deliver. Q&A is an exercise in
taking the stage. By following the approach outlined in this chapter, you will be successful in all these
ways.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 75
 LEADING
IN EMAILS
Emails represent one of the most frequent forms of daily conversations in business. It used to be, back
in the “olden days,” that people actually picked up the phone and called each other. Or, they walked
down the hall to chat. These more personal forms of communication are still important—perhaps more
important than ever, especially for sensitive subjects. But emails have overtaken these interactions in
sheer volume. People do less calling and less face-to-face communicating; instead, they email their
colleagues, partners, staff, and senior executives. Here, language is the main vehicle of leadership. For
women who struggle with weak language, this can be a challenge. Every email represents an opportu-
nity to take the stage. To lead in email you need to ensure that your writing represents you and your
ideas effectively.

The Many Shortcomings of Email

Despite the ubiquity of email communication, people are continually frustrated by its ineffectiveness.
What are some of the common shortcomings of corporate emails?

• There is no grabber, or the grabber is inadequate. Hence there is no sense of context… no reason
why the receiver should care. The grabber should create a context that draws the audience in.

• The email lacks a message. Too often emails are information dumps that lack a clear point of view.
Having a clear message is critical to the success of every email.

• There is no message-based structure. The body may be a pure information dump, or it may be
organized around a topic or set of topics that lack an argument.

• The conclusion does not come back to a message, and there is no call to action, or there is an
anemic or negative call to action (e.g., “Do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions”).

• The text is too wordy or burdened with unnecessary detail.

• The text is not clear.

• The tone is impersonal, bureaucratic, or negative.

The result of these shortcomings is that most emails fail to inspire action—or even fail to make a com-
pelling case that they be read!

Leading in Email

Yet it is possible to produce emails that reflect leadership. Such communications both take advantage
of the “convenience factor” that email offers and still convey thinking that is clear and compelling.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 77
 That’s why you’ll want to follow the script structure discussed earlier in the binder when you write your
emails.

What are the elements of a good email?

• There is a grabber, which creates a clear context.

• The introductory paragraph ends with a one-sentence message.

• The body is organized around statements that prove the message.

• The final paragraph begins with a restated message (in longer emails).

• The email ends with a specific and positive call to action.

• The email is concise and avoids unnecessary detail.

• The email is clear in its line-by-line meaning.

• The writing is conversational. It uses everyday expressions like contractions.

• The writing uses confident language. It lacks minimizers (e.g., I’m just following up…).

• The tone is warm, personal and positive.

Applying the Leader’s Script to Short, Medium and Long Emails

Use the Leader’s Script to structure the thinking in your emails, whether you are writing a very brief
response, a measured reply, or a long-form email where you need to provide detail to support your
message.

78 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Let’s examine a poor example of an email that is intended to drive action:

This email is ineffective for many reasons. It lacks a clear message, leaving the reader to wonder
“What’s the point here?” There is no structure, and the language is tentative and jargon-filled. There is
no clear call to action. The attachment is vaguely mentioned. In short, this is a “stream-of-conscious-
ness” message that would inspire confusion and not action.

Let’s look at how the email could have been written in “short form” (next page).

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 79
 Notice how much more effective this email is. It has a more focused and precise subject. It has a
grabber that quickly sets the context for the reader. It has a clear leadership message that is the last
sentence of the first paragraph. And it has a well-defined call to action.

Note that because this email is brief, there is no need for supporting points in the body, a structural
statement, or a restated message.

Let’s now examine the email on the next page which is written as a slightly longer, more thorough
development of the message. Take note of how it still conveys the same message and inspires the
same action.

80 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 The opening and closing of this email are the same as the short version illustrated above, but you
can see that there is now a structural statement and three points that represent a “Reasons” model.
There is also a restated message.

Let’s now look at how this same email could be further developed should the writer determine that
more supporting content is required (next page). Note the new headings that provide clear structure
for the reader.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 81
 Notice that in this long-form message the writer has switched from a “Reasons” model to a “Situ-
ation/Response” model, while using the same message and call to action. Also note the additional
supporting material that substantiates the points in the “Situation” section, and the headings that
provide structural clarity for readers.

These three examples clearly illustrate how to apply the Leader’s Script in short, medium, and long
emails.

82 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Summary

Sending an email can be a powerful tool for leaders. It allows you to reach people quickly and at a
distance, while still delivering powerful messages. But to be used effectively you must avoid the
temptation to simply “type what you think.” Instead, be thoughtful and focused in the ideas you con-
vey, whether writing short, medium, or long emails. Use the Leader’s Script and you will inspire action
in every message.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 83
 CONCLUSION
Women leaders have made exceptional strides in the past 100 years. More and more we see them tak-
ing a central leadership role in their personal and professional lives. But the work is not over. Countless
women continue to struggle to find a way to take centre stage. It is important that we continue to chal-
lenge assumptions about women and leadership and take the space we need to be successful.

This course has given you the skills you need to take the stage. You’ve established the mindset of
a leader, learned to script yourself to convey clarity of thought, and have developed your vocal and
physical presence. Applying these skills will allow you to be seen as a confident and authentic leader
in your organization.

Practicing what you have learned on a daily basis will increase your confidence when taking the stage.
Becoming a leader does not happen overnight; instead, it takes daily, consistent practice. By embrac-
ing your leadership skills, you will be a model, mentor, and guide to other women. We challenge you to
share this learning, encourage other women to take the stage, and help them develop the skills to lead.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 85
Appendix
The Leader’s Script 89

Cheat Sheet for the Leader’s Script 91

Cheat Sheet for the Language of Leadership 93

Sample Scripts 95

Guidelines for Presence 99

Our Deepest Fear, by Marianne Williamson 101

Taking the Stage - A Speech by Judith Humphrey 103

Warren Buffett is Bullish ... On Women, by Warren Buffett 109

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 87
 The Leader’s Script®
Grabber:

Subject:

Message:

Structural
Statement:

The following points prove the message. They represent one of five patterns: “reasons,” “ways,” “situa-
tion/response,” “present results/future prospects,” and “chronological.”

Point One:
A:
B:
C:

Point Two:
A:
B:
C:

Point Three:
A:
B:
C:

Restated
Message:

Call to
Action:

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 89
 The Humphrey Group’s
“Cheat Sheet” for The Leader’s Script®

The Grabber Structure

The grabber is your “verbal handshake” with the audience. It builds a bridge and Structure is the means by which you argue your message. There are five pat-
connects you with them. There are three types of grabbers you can choose from: terns of organization you can choose to prove your message. Here’s a look at
each pattern and the situations in which you should use it:
D
DThe personal grabber could be some context about why everyone is there in
the room. It could be a story about yourself, that relates to your message. Or You should use the reasons model…
it could be something about your audience. D prove why your message is true.
DTo
D
DThe factual grabber provides context in the form of relevant information. D
DWhen you are trying to convince your audience of the validity of an idea (ie.
D
DThe literary grabber involves a quotation or story that relates to your message. We need to restructure).

When it comes to the grabber, keep in mind… You should use the ways model…
D show how you will, or did, achieve your message.
DTo
D list steps that should be taken, or have been taken (ie. Msg: we must
DTo
D must relate to your message.
DIt
implement this plan now).
D an opportunity to show some flair (through metaphor, etc.).
DIt’s
You should use the situation/response model…
The Subject D
DWhen you have a problem and a solution.
D
DWhen you need to first convince your audience of the need to do something,
Simply put, the subject is your topic. If you can complete these statements you and then you want to tell them what to do.
have your subject:
You should use the present/future model…
D here to talk to you about…
DI’m D compare/contrast two situations that may not be connected.
DTo
D topic is…
DMy D
DThis can be for past/present, present/future etc.
D
DLet’s discuss… D present financial results and make future projections, etc.
DTo

How can you be sure you have subject, and not message? You should use the chronological model…
D show that a series of chronological events in the past prove the message.
DTo
D one can disagree with subject – it is fact.
DNo
D
DThere’s nothing “at stake.” Also, remember that you can mix and match models! You could have a situation/
D
DThere’s no explicit reason (yet) for the audience to care. response in which the situation consists of reasons to take action, and the
response consists of ways to do so. See below:
The Message

The message is the single sentence that sums up your argument. The message
is always positive and supported by fact. It comes immediately after your sub-
ject. Think of message as your conclusion up front. The message begins:

DID believe…
D like to argue today that…
DI’d
D
DThe one idea I want you to take away is…

How can you be sure you have a message, and not a subject? Restated Message

D
DSomeone in the room would not agree, or would want proof. Simply restate your message at the end of your talk.
D your audience buys into your message you will have changed their view
DIf
point or reinforced an existing one. Call to Action

Structural Statement This is where you outline next steps and call upon your audience to do some-
thing to make your message a reality. It can also be a self directed statement.
The structural statement tells your audience how you will prove your message. The call to action must be concrete, time sensitive, and assignable. For example:
It outlines which pattern of organization you’ve chosen to use. Examples of
structural statements are: D
DPlease take the info package and read through it by next week.
D
DAnd so I ask you to approve funding this $65M project.
D me tell you five reasons why I believe this.
DLet DID will be in touch with each of you in the next month to ensure this program is
D
DHere are four ways we’re going to cut costs. implemented smoothly (self-directed).
D
DFirst I’ll tell you why we need to improve our sales process, then how we’re
going to do it.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 91
 Language of Leadership

Expressions to Avoid Expressions to Use

Minimizing words:
I just thought we could... I know we can..
I have a little bit of an idea I have an idea..

Qualifiers:
We probably…
It does sort of…
Perhaps the market will…
We have the support of HR so far...

Weak verb forms:

I think… I believe that…
I’d guess… I’m confident we…
We might be able to… We will be able to
It could be that… (Avoid)
The way we saw it… The way we see it… or envision it.
The way I was thinking of developing it... The way we will develop it…
If our plan really works, we will… Our plan will enable us to…

Negative:
I’m not sure, but... I am certain…
I could be wrong, but… I am confident...
I could be mistaken, but… My sense is that...

Filler words:
Uh...
Um...
So on and so forth…
Etc...
That kind of stuff…

Apologies:
I’m sorry…

Colloquial:
You guys All of you in this room.
You know… like… I mean

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 93
 Sample Scripts
SAMPLE 1 - EMAIL

To: Janice Smith

From: Alisa Kent
Date: Thursday, November 21, 2015
(Subject) RE: Northstar Key Facts
1 ATTACHMENT (Northstar-Key Facts)

Hello Janice,

(Grabber) I enjoyed seeing you at our 15th anniversary celebration last month. You mentioned that your team
had lots of questions about our new client management system Northstar. (Message) We have the opportu-
nity to demonstrate commitment to our end customers when all employees know and can share the key facts
about this new technology.

John Harmon from Communications sent me the attached document today, which outlines high-level infor-
mation about Northstar. He mentioned that it is an internal document that we can use to educate our teams
about the new technology. (Call to Action) Please review the attached and I will set up a time with you next
week to go over the highlights of the new technology and answer any questions you have.

Best regards,

Alisa

SAMPLE 2- MEETING OPENING

Grabber: Maya Angelou, an American author and poet, was recently interviewed by Harvard Business Review
and she shared the following quote about courage, “I realized that one isn’t born with courage. One devel-
ops it by doing small courageous things—in the way that if one sets out to pick up a 100-pound bag of rice,
one would be advised to start with a five-pound bag, then 10 pounds, then 20 pounds, and so forth, until one
builds up enough muscle to lift the 100-pound bag. It’s the same way with courage.”

Twice a year we undergo a peer-review, which is an essential process to ensure we have high functioning
teams. This is a challenging process for everyone—for reviewers as well as those being reviewed and each
review we make is a “small courageous act” that contributes to our team’s ability to function at high level. The
greater the courage we show in performance reviews, that is to say, “the bigger bag of rice we each pick up”,
the greater our collective ability to take on heftier challenges and “pick up ever bigger bags of rice.”

Subject: Today we will discuss the importance of having an effective peer review process.

Message: By courageously contributing to our peer’s development review we will ensure that our team func-
tions at the highest level possible.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 95
Structural Statement: First I will outline how peer reviews contribute to a high functioning team, and then
we will dialogue about what it means to courageously contribute during this upcoming review.

1. Regular peer reviews are a foundational component of a high functioning team.

a. High functioning teams draw on the strengths of team members - By having peers comment on your
projects and contributions, on your strengths, and on areas for improvement we can ensure that we
are building effective development for all members of this team.
b. High functioning teams have processes in place to ensure quality - By having your peers give you
direct feedback on your programs, your teamwork etc. we can ensure that what we produce for our
company is of the highest quality possible.

2. We will use the remainder of this meeting to discuss what it means to “courageously contribute” during
this upcoming review: (TEAM DISCUSSION FOLLOWS)

Restated message: We have had the opportunity to define what it means to this team to courageously con-
tribute to our peer’s development. I believe that by doing so in the upcoming review we will ensure that our
team functions at the highest level possible.

Call to Action: I will be summarizing the key points from our discussion and sending it out via email for you to
refer to as you write your peer reviews. I challenge each of you to be courageous in this upcoming peer review
process so that we can collectively “pick up even bigger bags of rice”.

SAMPLE 3 - 3-MINUTE PRESENTATION

Tanya is a senior analyst in credit at a large bank’s head office in Toronto. She was asked to prepare a 3-minute
overview of the new approach the bank is taking to student lending for the marketing team at their upcoming
planning meeting. Tanya knew that this audience was looking for a better understanding of how to target their
upcoming student lending campaigns and presented the following script:

Grabber: In preparation for this meeting I sat down with my nephew who is in his first year at U of T. Within
minutes, he painted a picture for me of students in the year 2015. Students these days expect things to hap-
pen for them at light speed. They are used to finding information within 2 clicks, getting stuff done in the time
it takes to download and interact with an app, and don’t need or want face-to-face connections with every
institution they deal with. In fact, they don’t have time for it.

Message: Our marketing efforts must convey to students that using our products will be an easy, quick, and
faceless process.

Structure: Here are 3 ways your marketing team can achieve this:
1. Easy – demonstrate how students will find info and apply for products
2. Quick – share target time of 24 hour approval for student lending products
3. Faceless – show interactive app designed to move students though application, signing and ongoing
access to products without ever entering a branch or speaking to a representative

Call to Action: You are the team that will translate our new approach into marketing efforts that will attract
this unique audience. Consider the best ways to demonstrate easy, quick, and faceless in your marketing plan.

96 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

SAMPLE 4 - 15-MINUTE PRESENATION

Grabber: As you are all aware, the Human Resources Team has been working to bring the same rigor to our
people decisions as we have been bringing to our engineering decisions for the past 15 years. As with any
important change that affects so many of us at the company, we’ve received many questions from your teams
about why we began making data-based decisions about our people.

Subject: I am here to talk to you today about the benefits we’ve seen by using analytics in Human Resource
decisions.

Message: I believe we are better able to meet the diverse and evolving needs of our employees by basing our
people decisions on analytics.

Structural Statement: Let me share with you the three ways we are better meeting the needs of our people
by using analytics:

1. We have improved the way people lead teams by using analytics. People leave managers, not compa-
nies—through the use of internal data, we were able to identify the eight characteristics of great leaders.
The data conclusively showed that rather than superior technical knowledge, the No. 1 ranked character-
istic of successful leaders is giving periodic, one-on-one coaching, including expressing genuine interest
in the employee and providing frequent personalized feedback. Managers are now rated twice a year by
their employees on theses eight characteristics

2. We have improved employee health by gaining insights through our analysis of data. With our data, we
conduct applied experiments to determine the most effective approaches for managing people and
maintaining a productive environment. An example of this is improvements we have made to employee’s
health by using scientific data and experiments at our on-sight eating facilities. Through research and
analysis of consumption trends, we were able to reduce employees’ average daily calorie intake simply
by reducing the size of the plates.

3. We have improved maternity and paternity benefits by using analytics. We have tailored our maternity
benefits in reaction to a trend of departures among female employees. A few years ago we noticed that
a lot of women were leaving the company so we crunched the numbers to identify the root cause. The
company discovered that we had a “new mother” retention problem: Women who had recently given
birth were leaving at twice our average departure rate. At the time, we offered an industry-standard
maternity leave plan. So the company changed the plan and added a new benefit for all new parents.
Now new mothers get five months off at full pay and full benefits, and they are allowed to split up that
time however they wish, including allocating some of that time off before their due date. New mothers
can also decide to take a couple of months off after birth, return part time for a while, and then take the
balance of the maternity leave when the baby is older. In addition to the maternity leave, we also began
offering seven weeks of new-parent leave to all its workers—men and women—around the world.

Restated Message: These are three tangible improvements that clearly show how we can better meet the
diverse and evolving needs of our employees by basing our people decisions on analytics.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 97
Call to Action: My call to action to you is to find one opportunity over the next month to speak to your team
about the benefits of using analytics to help us make better decisions about people. I would like to hear about
the discussions you engage in, please email me after you speak with your team and let me know how they
responded and if they had any further questions about the process we use on the Human Resources Team.

SAMPLE 5 - MAKING THE MOST OF AN ELEVATOR RIDE

Grabber: Bob (Senior VP), let me introduce myself. I’m Lisa Wang, manager, private wealth banking.

Message: The referrals we’ve received from your office continue to be of high quality and are leading to new
customers every week.

Structure: Just in the past month we’ve doubled the list of clients who are investing between one and five
million dollars with us.

Call to Action: I’d like to get to know you better to see if we can build upon this partnership. Would you like
to meet for lunch some time?

98 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.

 Guidelines for Presence

Use Confident, Open Body Language by:

• Standing or sitting tall. Stature gives you presence.
• Facing your audience. This is key for a connection.
• Being open. Keep your arms open, not closed or folded. Smile!
• Taking up the right amount of space. For example, when sitting, take up a whole chair.
• Avoid minimizing yourself or sitting in one portion of the chair. Also, be sure you don’t take up too
much space by draping yourself over two or three chairs.
• Using strong gestures. Gesture toward your audience, not toward yourself. Don’t point. Avoid “fist”
or “claw” gestures. Avoid “busy” wrist gestures or “flipper” gestures from the elbow.

Make Your Eye Contact Confident and Conversational by:

• Looking your audience in the eye. This will ensure you make a strong connection with your listeners.
• Holding the contact. The key to great eye contact is looking at the audience at the beginning and
end of each thought. Don’t drop your eyes to notes or to look away before your thought has “sunk
in.”
• Building a rapport with a whole room when presenting. Target your eye contact to individuals in the
audience who seem receptive to you. The rest of the audience will feel included, even if you aren’t
speaking directly to them.

Use The Right Pace by:
• Being conversational. Every speaking opportunity should be approached as a conversation – and
your pace should reflect that.
• Being slow enough that your audience hears everything clearly. Too often, pace reflects the rate of
the speaker’s thoughts, which is too fast. Sentences come out unclear or unfinished. So ensure that
every sentence is spoken slowly, clearly and completely.
• Varying your pace to tell the audience what is important. A list of items can be delivered more rap-
idly than your key message.

Keep Your Expression Natural by:

• Being conversational. Use short, easy-to-grasp sentences and a natural, personal tone. Ask yourself,
“Would I sound like this if I were just having a good conversation?” If not, change your tone. Get real!
• Being passionate. Energize your delivery with conviction, emphasizing key words and ideas.
• Being confident. Avoid “upspeak” – raising your voice at the end of a thought – as it undercuts you.
Ensure your voice conveys the confidence you have in your message.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 99
 Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves - who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure
around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

An excerpt from Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles
of “A Course in Miracles.” New York: Harper Collins, 1992.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 101
 Taking the Stage
A Speech by Judith Humphrey

Thank you for that kind introduction…talk about pressure. As you know from my introduction, the role of my
company is preparing others to speak.

For 12 years, I’ve been coaching executives. I’ve reassured them that if they’re well prepared, it doesn’t matter
who’s in the audience. It could be their best friends or close business associates. Even their speech coach.

And now the tables are turned. The shoe–or high heel–is on the other foot. Many of our clients have come out
to see me speak. Several have told me they wouldn’t miss this event for the world.

Talk about pressure. But that’s what it means to take the stage. Every time you walk up to that podium, or
stand in front of an audience, or meet with a client or boss, there are expectations. Expectations that you’ll
influence and inspire your listeners.

It’s that ability to “take the stage” and lead others, that I’d like to talk about this morning, particularly as it ap-
plies to women. My message is this: while we women all too often have been taught not to
take the stage, we can and must do so if we want to realize our capacity for leadership.
I’ll look first at the reasons many women are uncomfortable in the spotlight. Then using The Humphrey
Group’s experiences with clients, I’ll discuss how you and other women can “take the stage” and stand out.

WHY WOMEN ARE RELUCTANT TO “TAKE THE STAGE”

Traditionally, women have been uncomfortable in the spotlight. Deborah Tannen, author of the book, Talk-
ing From 9 to 5: Women and Men in the Workplace: Language, Sex and Power, notes that girls learn that it is
“wrong” to stand out. She remarks: “Boys are expected to put themselves forward, emphasize the qualities
that make them look good, and de-emphasize those that would show them in a less favorable light…Girls are
expected to be “humble”–not try to take the spotlight, emphasize the ways they are just like everyone else,
and de-emphasize ways they are special.” Sound familiar?

It’s unsurprising that if girls are taught not to stand out, when they become women they’re often uncomfort-
able in the boardroom. One senior executive client, female, told me: “When I speak in a management meeting,
I feel constantly rushed, my eyes fly everywhere, I throw anything in, and I look as though I lack self-confi-
dence. People must wonder how I ever made it to senior vice president. The men in the room, on the other
hand, spend lots of time speaking. They never feel rushed, and act as though they own the room. Yet they
don’t do the good work I do. I’m the one with the results.”

This is a person who wanted to change. And I assure you, she has.

Before I discuss solutions, though, let me make clear that I recognize that many women are comfortable in
leadership roles. We in The Humphrey Group work with many of them. These leaders serve as models for oth-
ers who want to improve their abilities and rise in their organizations. They illustrate the principles I’ll discuss.
Still, most women need to “take the stage” more fully than they have. Our socialization has been that strong.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 103
I’d also emphasize that the goal is not to make women conform to a male ideal. As women, we bring valuable
qualities. We’re good listeners. We’re empathetic. We tend to be more sensitive to the feelings of those we’re
addressing. But these qualities are not enough. That’s why the focus of my remarks this morning is on taking
the stage.

TAKING THE STAGE

Taking the stage is a metaphor that describes what we, as women managers and executives, need to do: come
out of the wings and stand centre stage. Let me suggest six steps you can take to achieve this strong leader-
ship presence every time you speak.

The first step is understanding what it means to “take the stage.” Shakespeare wrote that “all the
world’s a stage.”

A stage can be a podium, the front of a conference room, a telephone, an elevator, or the entrance to a CEO’s
office. Every time you communicate, you’re on stage. When you walk into a room, say ‘this
moment is important.’ Don’t just wait for the opportunities to happen–create them! One of my clients did just
that. When she was at her customer’s office, she asked to see the CEO. Soon she found herself standing at the
door of the CEO’s office, with two or three minutes to influence him. That was a performance!

Taking the stage begins with an attitude. It starts with the understanding that every single situation is an op-
portunity to influence, inspire, and motivate people.

The second step in becoming an inspirational leader is developing a deep conviction about the value you
bring to an audience. In her book, The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir observes that women have tradition-
ally seen themselves as the “other” in a relationship. They consider themselves the audience, not the actor.
Women are great listeners, great supporters, great at building others up. Certainly, a willingness to listen is
a necessary attribute for a leader. But that ability must not inhibit us from assuming a starring role. At those
moments when we wish to lead others, we must assume the role of the “self,” and see the audience as the
“other.”

To do so means finding within ourselves the confidence to accept that others want to see, hear, and
be inspired by us. Developing this sense of self, in relation to an audience, is challenging. The actors who are
consultants in The Humphrey Group, make clear that anxiety is part of every great performance. An actor
deals with two things simultaneously. One is nervousness; the other is the desire to come forward. Women
have an additional source of anxiety. They have a voice that is shouting in their minds: “Who do you think you
are, speaking with authority?” Acknowledge the fear, then say, “I’m still going to speak up, and I’ll do it well.”

Not long ago, I helped prepare a woman who was retiring after 30 years as a deputy minister. Her colleagues
were like a family. She confided that she was afraid she would get emotional and break down when she was
speaking. I said “if you break down, the audience will be moved by a sense of sadness, rather than by the
power of your vision.” We concluded she must be bold.

She wrote “Be Bold” at the top of each page of her speech. And it worked. Throughout her talk she was strong,
and confident. But the emotion was welling up inside, and as she reached the very last

104 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
word of her speech, she simply couldn’t get it out. Suddenly the emotion came forward and she was speech-
less. But she had held on, and delivered a remarkable address–some said the best they had ever heard. Her
emotion and bold vision created a powerful speech.

The third step in becoming an inspirational leader is creating your character. The traditional parts women
sometimes play–little girls, wives, mothers–don’t embody leadership. Yet, women constantly assume these
roles. A female vice president was sent to me this week by her boss who said she sounded too “nice.” She had
a big job to do, and nobody took her seriously. Women who sound maternal in the board room, “cutesie” at the
podium, or perky on the phone need to recast themselves.

Another related tendency is for some women to cast themselves as “characters” who need approval. The
words, the tone, the body language and constant smile say: “I want to be loved.” This individual lacks power.

We all assign ourselves parts. My advice: assign yourself the role of a leader. Create this “character” by un-
derstanding what it means to be a leader. A leader has vision. A leader has a point of view and is not afraid to
express it. A leader must also be centred, totally authentic. Finally, a leader brings together the best of what
we think of as “male” and “female” qualities. A true leader is from both Venus and Mars. Ground yourself in
these qualities, and create your “character.”

The fourth step in becoming an inspirational leader is creating a great script. A “script” can be written or it
can be in one’s mind. Every time we speak–whether at the podium, at meetings, in one-on-one encounters, or
on the phone–we “script” ourselves.

Female managers and executives have a tendency to create scripts that are more passive than they should
be. They ask questions rather than making points. They quickly pull back or modify their statements when
they encounter disapproval. They chip away at a discussion rather than presenting a sustained point of view.
Let me give you some ideas about how you can create a leader’s script–whether you’re preparing for an im-
promptu exchange, a formal address, or anything in between.

To begin with, make sure you have a message. Those who work with The Humphrey Group know that our
mantra is: “You must always have a message if you want to influence and inspire.” Ask yourself before writ-
ing a speech, or before entering the room, “What’s my point?” Be able to state that message in a single, clear
sentence. Everything else you say will support that single argument.

And make certain that message positions you as a leader. Make that message positive, even if you’re dealing
with a difficult situation. Leaders must take their followers from the present into a better future. Announce
your message with great conviction. We once wrote a speech for a female executive. It began strongly: “My
message for you is this…” Alas, when she delivered the speech I heard her say: “If you do take any message
away today I think it will be this.” My heart fell!

Think out the structure of your presentation. How do you plan to support your argument? Write out that
structure on paper or keep it clearly in your mind.

The fifth step builds upon the fourth: to make your script effective, use the language of leadership.
If you’re taking the stage, do so with bold clear language. We find in our work that many women have trouble
being direct. Introductory phrases like “in my opinion,” “as I see it,” or “it’s only a thought”

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 105
downplay our ideas. There’s too much apologizing and self-correction in the language women use.

When women do express their ideas directly, they often soften the impact. They use weak verbs: “I think,” “I
will attempt to,” “I’m trying to,” “I’m not sure.” They use qualifiers: “I’d just like to review.” They use the past
tense. For example: “What I wanted to talk about today was our priorities.” (Instead of “I’d like to talk about
our priorities.”) They also use emotional language and the language of dependency–talking about “being
concerned” or “needing that.”

In contrast, listen to the strong words of Margaret Thatcher when she told Britons about the campaign to
retake the Falkland Islands: “Now we are present in strength on the Falkland Islands. Our purpose is to repos-
sess them. We shall carry on until that purpose is accomplished.”

There’s no mistaking her steely resolve. Her sentences are short and to the point. She doesn’t qualify,
apologize, correct or undercut herself.

The sixth step in becoming an inspirational leader is achieving a strong presence that moves others to believe
in your views. Your body and voice must reinforce your leadership. Again Shakespeare is our guide. He said:
“Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.”

Begin by establishing your space. Women often make themselves too small. As the renowned voice teacher,
Patsy Rodenburg, wrote in her essay, “Powerspeak: Women and their Voices in the Workplace,” published in
the book, Well-Tuned Women, “Female habits revolve around reduction, denial, giving way and not taking up
space.” We observe women folding themselves up, hands together, arms in, feet together. My advice: proudly
and fully occupy your place at the podium or at the conference table. Every once in a while, put your hand on
the chair next to you (men do it all the time).

Whether you stand or sit, be tall. Stature is an attitude. Women often stand or sit with their spine curved, and
their shoulders rounded. Instead hold your head high, push your shoulders back, and set your legs slightly
apart.

Learn, also, to be still. Stillness is a wonderful sign of leadership. Women often fidget–playing with a pen, with
a lock of hair, adjusting a collar. Fidgeting tells others that you’re nervous or don’t take yourself seriously.
Centre yourself. There are body movements that suggest we see ourselves as objects–brushing one’s face,
cocking one’s head, smiling when the text doesn’t suggest we should, for example. And getting “girlish” when
a man enters the conversation does nothing for you. Resist the
temptation to play games. Focus your energy, and stop worrying about whether people like you.

Make your gestures strong. I’ve seen many senior women use repetitive, busy gestures from the
wrist. Small, inconsequential gestures encourage the audience to dismiss what you’re saying. Gesture with
the full arm, even at a table. And hold the gesture longer than you think you should.

Eye contact, too, is important. The best executives establish strong visual links with their audience. That puts
them in a commanding position. Think of the animal world, which is divided into predators and prey. Preda-
tors have their eyes in the front of their heads. Prey have them on the side of their heads. Ours are out there
in front. Use them. Make eye contact with people, and they will listen to you.

106 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Use your voice to full advantage. It’s a powerful tool. The Humphrey Group teaches women how to free up
voices that seem trapped or reduced. Let your voice begin in your chest, and breathe deeply. Keep your tones
strong. Avoid habits we see in women, such as keeping the voice high, or clipped. Don’t use a rising inflection
at the ends of sentences, as though turning statements into questions. Remember the leadership role you’re
playing, and train your voice to remember it too.

Finally, learn the power of the pause. Women often tell us they’re afraid to pause, for fear someone with a
bigger voice, a man’s voice, will step in. The result is run-on sentences that are delivered in a breathy, out-of-
control voice. Pauses give weight to your ideas. They tell the audience, “I’ve said something important. Think
about it.”

CONCLUSION

I’ll conclude by coming back to my message: although we, as women, were raised to think we should
not take the stage, we can and must do so if we want to be the leaders we know we can be.

Taking the stage requires that you give up the tendency to make yourself small. It demands that you step
forward. To achieve this presence, you must be determined to lead. The steps I’ve discussed with you today
are within everyone’s grasp.

We in The Humphrey Group have seen women make remarkable strides in achieving these goals. My team
and I have been privileged to work with some of the most successful women in Canadian business. And year
after year we see them moving forward in their careers, receiving hard-won promotions, and achieving a level
of prominence that puts them in the spotlight. Some of these women are in this room today. They can tell you,
as we who coach them can, that taking the stage requires
courage, determination, and boldness.

So, be bold. Corporations and businesses of all kinds are asking us to step up to leadership opportunities. The
stage is set. Listen to your own convictions. Come forward. Take the stage.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 107
 Warren Buffett is Bullish...On Women
An article by Warren Buffett - Fortune Magazine, May 20 2013

In an exclusive essay the Berkshire Hathaway chairman and CEO explains why women are key to
America’s prosperity.
In the flood of words written recently about women and work, one related and hugely significant point seems
to me to have been neglected. It has to do with America’s future, about which -- here’s a familiar opinion from
me -- I’m an unqualified optimist. Now entertain another opinion of mine: Women are a major reason we will
do so well.

Start with the fact that our country’s progress since 1776 has been mind-blowing, like nothing the world has
ever seen. Our secret sauce has been a political and economic system that unleashes human potential to an
extraordinary degree. As a result Americans today enjoy an abundance of goods and services that no one
could have dreamed of just a few centuries ago.

But that’s not the half of it -- or, rather, it’s just about the half of it. America has forged this success while uti-
lizing, in large part, only half of the country’s talent. For most of our history, women -- whatever their abilities
-- have been relegated to the sidelines. Only in recent years have we begun to correct that problem.

Despite the inspiring “all men are created equal” assertion in the Declaration of Independence, male suprem-
acy quickly became enshrined in the Constitution. In Article II, dealing with the presidency, the 39 delegates
who signed the document -- all men, naturally -- repeatedly used male pronouns. In poker, they call that a
“tell.”

Finally, 133 years later, in 1920, the U.S. softened its discrimination against women via the 19th Amendment,
which gave them the right to vote. But that law scarcely budged attitudes and behaviors. In its wake, 33 men
rose to the Supreme Court before Sandra Day O’Connor made the grade -- 61 years after the amendment was
ratified. For those of you who like numbers, the odds against that procession of males occurring by chance
are more than 8 billion to one.

When people questioned the absence of female appointees, the standard reply over those 61 years was sim-
ply “no qualified candidates.” The electorate took a similar stance. When my dad was elected to Congress in
1942, only eight of his 434 colleagues were women. One lonely woman, Maine’s Margaret Chase Smith, sat in
the Senate.

Resistance among the powerful is natural when change clashes with their self-interest. Business, politics, and,
yes, religions provide many examples of such defensive behavior. After all, who wants to double the number
of competitors for top positions?

But an even greater enemy of change may well be the ingrained attitudes of those who simply can’t imagine a
world different from the one they’ve lived in. What happened in my own family provides an example. I have two
sisters. The three of us were regarded, by our parents and teachers alike, as having roughly equal intelligence
-- and IQ tests in fact confirmed our equality. For a long time, to boot, my sisters had far greater “social” IQ
than I. (No, we weren’t tested for that -- but, believe me, the evidence was overwhelming.)

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 109
The moment I emerged from my mother’s womb, however, my possibilities dwarfed those of my siblings, for I
was a boy! And my brainy, personable, and good-looking siblings were not. My parents would love us equally,
and our teachers would give us similar grades. But at every turn my sisters would be told -- more through sig-
nals than words -- that success for them would be “marrying well.” I was meanwhile hearing that the world’s
opportunities were there for me to seize.

So my floor became my sisters’ ceiling -- and nobody thought much about ripping up that pattern until a few
decades ago. Now, thank heavens, the structural barriers for women are falling.

Still an obstacle remains: Too many women continue to impose limitations on themselves, talking themselves
out of achieving their potential. Here, too, I have had some firsthand experience.

Among the scores of brilliant and interesting women I’ve known is the late Katharine Graham, long the con-
trolling shareholder and CEO of the Washington Post Co. (WPO) Kay knew she was intelligent. But she had
been brainwashed -- I don’t like that word, but it’s appropriate -- by her mother, husband, and who knows who
else to believe that men were superior, particularly at business.

When her husband died, it was in the self-interest of some of the men around Kay to convince her that her
feelings of inadequacy were justified. The pressures they put on her were torturing. Fortunately, Kay, in addi-
tion to being smart, had an inner strength. Calling on it, she managed to ignore the baritone voices urging her
to turn over her heritage to them.

I met Kay in 1973 and quickly saw that she was a person of unusual ability and character. But the gender-
related self-doubt was certainly there too. Her brain knew better, but she could never quite still the voice
inside her that said, “Men know more about running a business than you ever will.”

I told Kay that she had to discard the fun-house mirror that others had set before her and instead view her-
self in a mirror that reflected reality. “Then,” I said, “you will see a woman who is a match for anyone, male or
female.”

I wish I could claim I was successful in that campaign. Proof was certainly on my side: Washington Post stock
went up more than 4,000% -- that’s 40 for 1 -- during Kay’s 18 years as boss. After retiring, she won a Pulitzer
Prize for her superb autobiography. But her self-doubt remained a testament to how deeply a message of
unworthiness can be implanted in even a brilliant mind.

I’m happy to say that funhouse mirrors are becoming less common among the women I meet. Try putting one
in front of my daughter. She’ll just laugh and smash it. Women should never forget that it is common for pow-
erful and seemingly self-assured males to have more than a bit of the Wizard of Oz in them. Pull the curtain
aside, and you’ll often discover they are not supermen after all. (Just ask their wives!)

So, my fellow males, what’s in this for us? Why should we care whether the remaining barriers facing women
are dismantled and the fun-house mirrors junked? Never mind that I believe the ethical case in itself is com-
pelling. Let’s look instead to your self-interest.

No manager operates his or her plants at 80% efficiency when steps could be taken that would increase out-
put. And no CEO wants male employees to be underutilized when improved training or

110 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
working conditions would boost productivity. So take it one step further: If obvious benefits flow from helping
the male component of the workforce achieve its potential, why in the world wouldn’t you want to include its
counterpart?

Fellow males, get onboard. The closer that America comes to fully employing the talents of all its citizens, the
greater its output of goods and services will be. We’ve seen what can be accomplished when we use 50% of
our human capacity. If you visualize what 100% can do, you’ll join me as an unbridled optimist about America’s
future.

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 111
 ANNOTATED
CORE MATERIALS
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Humphrey, Judith Taking the Stage: How Women Can Speak Up, Stand Out, and Succeed. San Francisco:
Jossey-Bass, 2014.

In this book, author Judith Humphrey draws upon her decades of experience coaching
senior leaders, and shows women how to achieve confident self-expression in business
and in life. The following passage from the book’s Introduction provides a summary of
what you will learn to do from reading the book:

“Taking the stage involves speaking up, being forthright, expressing your viewpoint in
meetings. It means not pulling back when challenged or when your inner voice seeks
to undermine you. It means accepting praise for a job well done rather than saying ‘It
was nothing.’ It means stepping up to whatever opportunity presents itself and having
the strength to say, ‘Here’s what I believe.’ It also means putting yourself forward for
leadership roles or more senior positions, even though you may feel you’re not fully
qualified. In large and small ways it involves showing the world (and yourself) that you
are a person to be reckoned with and that you believe in yourself and can inspire oth-
ers to believe in you too.”

The book will show you how to achieve these goals by adopting a strong mindset,
developing powerful scripts, unlocking the power of your voice, and achieving a confi-
dent presence.

What readers are saying:

“Taking the Stage focuses on one of the most significant skills women can have: the
ability to project a strong, clear, and compelling voice. I have found in my career that
this ability to speak up confidently, clearly and with substance has been a defining
quality for those who get ahead—both women and men. This book presents a tem-
plate for doing so.”

Sue Spradley, Senior Vice President and General Manager,

Network and Service Enablement, JDSU

“Finally a book that shows women how to communicate powerfully, persuasively, and
with presence. Women at TD have benefited tremendously from the program that
inspired this book.”

Grace Palombo, LLB, EVP & Head of HR, TD America’s Most

Convenient Bank; Member of Catalyst US Advisory Board

112 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 BOOKS
Anders, George. Perfect Enough: Carly Fiorina and the Reinvention of Hewlett-Packard. New York:
Portfolio, 2003.
[This biography of Carly Fiorina, former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, is an excellent inside
look at a woman who knows how to present herself as a leader and superb commu-
nicator. Biographies of great women make for excellent reading – because they show
courage, determination, vision, and leadership.]

Archambeau, M. Kathleen. Climbing the Corporate Ladder in High Heels. Franklin Lakes, NJ: Career Press, 2006.
[This book shows women how to be successful and fulfilled without being just like
men.]

Armstrong, Frankie, and Well-Tuned Women: Growing Strong Through Voicework. London: Women’s Press Ltd,
Jenny Pearson. 2000.
[A wonderful collection of articles on the voice. These are easy to read and will be
fruitful for Taking the Stage® participants. See especially the article by Patsy Roden-
burg, “Powerspeak: Women and Their Voices in the Workplace,” (an extremely im-
portant article for corporate women). Rodenburg is head of the voice department at
London’s Royal National Theatre.]

Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. New York: Vintage Books, 1989.
[This pathbreaking book argues that “one is not born, but rather becomes a woman.”
It traces the history of women, and their development not as ‘selves’ but as ‘others’ to
men. This is a classic, and rich in texture and vision.]

Bell, Ella L. J. Edmondson, and Career GPS: Strategies for Women Navigating the New Corporate Landscape. New
Linda Villarosa York: Amistad, 2011.
[Serves as a guide that teaches women how to get the job they’ve always wanted and
navigate their way to senior level roles in the corporate world.]

Benton, D. A. Lions Don’t Need to Roar: Using the Leadership Power of Professional Presence to
Stand Out, Fit in, and Move Ahead. New York, NY: Warner Books, 1992.
[An enjoyable book that provides a useful set of guidelines and techniques for pre-
senting oneself as a confident leader.]

Berry, Cicely. Your Voice and How to Use It. London: Virgin, 1994.
[A book that looks at how to use your full vocal potential to overcome anxiety and
speak with confidence.]

Brizendine, Louann. The Female Brain. New York: Morgan Road Books, 2006.
[Brizendine argues that women behave radically different than men due to hormonal
differences. She discusses how these differences cause women and men to view the
same situations differently.]

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 113
 Eagly, Alice Hendrickson, and Linda Through the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become Leaders. Boston, MA:
Lorene Carli.. Harvard Business School Press, 2007.
[The authors use the labyrinth as a metaphor to illustrate a woman’s path to power
and success in the corporate world. They discuss the obstacles women face in their
quest to get to the top and the strategies they can use to overcome them.]

Ellig, Janice Reals, and William What Every Successful Woman Knows: 12 Breakthrough Strategies to Get the Power
J. Morin. and Ignite Your Career. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.
[This book offers strategies for women who have set their sights on the executive
suite. The authors discusses critical dos and don’ts and key tactical behaviours, such
as bonding with your boss and exuding confidence.]

Evans, Gail. Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman: What Men Know About Success That Women
Need to Learn. New York: Broadway Books, 2001.
[Evans challenges the term the “glass ceiling” and argues that it is a myth which
implies that a woman is a “person-who’s-done-to instead of a person-who’s-doing.” His
thesis is that: women are not in positions of power because they haven’t yet learned
how to play the game. He proves this point throughout the book with the use of com-
pelling evidence.]

Feldhahn, Shaunti Christine. The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in
the Workplace. Colorado Spring, CO: Multnomah Books, 2009.
[Feldhahn gets inside the minds of men in the workplace to illustrate the misconcep-
tions that men have about their female colleagues. Based on surveys and confidential
interviews with thousands of men this book reveals the thoughts and attitudes that
men rarely share.]

Feldt, Gloria. No Excuses: Nine Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power : Tools for
Leading an Unlimited Life. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2012.
[Feldt encourages women to overcome low societal expectations, embrace their ambi-
tious, and step into positions of power.]

Frankel, Lois P. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That
Sabotage Their Careers. New York: Business Plus, 2010.
[An insightful look at how ‘girlish’ behaviours such as backing down too easily, polling
colleagues before decision making, and explaining too much when asked for informa-
tion are actions that can sabotage a career.]

114 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 Gallagher, Carol, and Going to the Top: A Road Map for Success from America’s Leading Women Executives.
Susan K. Golant. New York: Penguin Books, 2001.
[Gallagher reveals her tested model for success for women who want to thrive, and
who want to climb the corporate ladder.]

Gay, Katherine. In the Company of Women: Canadian Businesswomen Talk About What It Takes to
Create and Manage a Successful Business. Toronto: HarperCollins, 1998.
[Canadian women discuss what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur and how start-
ing their own business has made a positive impact on their lives.]

Germer, Fawn. Mustang Sallies: Success Secrets of Women Who Refuse to Run with the Herd. New
York: Berkley Pub. Group, 2004.
[This book includes interviews with over 50 women leaders, and shows how these re-
markable women have succeeded because of their willingness to challenge the status
quo.]

Heffernan, Margaret. The Naked Truth: A Working Woman’s Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2004.
[Heffernan, who has been CEO of five different companies, presents strategies to help
women achieve their goals.]

Heim, Pat, and Susan K. Golant. Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business. Los Angeles: Lowell House,
1992.
[This valuable book shows how to ‘play the corporate game’ successfully without
sounding like a man.]

Henry, Amy. What It Takes: A Modern Woman’s Guide to Success in Business. New York: Griffin,
2005.
[Written by the last woman standing on The Apprentice, the book talks about the chal-
lenges facing a young woman hoping to rise in the corporate world.]

Johnson, Tory, and Take This Book to Work: How to Ask for (and Get) Money, Fulfillment, and Advance-
Robyn Freedman Spizman. ment. New York: St Martin’s Griffin, 2007.
[A book that teaches women to ask for what they want and deserve in the workplace
by using voice and body language persuasively.]

Klaus, Peggy. Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It. New York: Warner Busi-
ness Books, 2004.
[A highly recommended book that shows how to present your achievements, without
sounding boastful or arrogant.]

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 115
 Lerner, Helene. Smart Women Take Risks: Six Steps for Conquering Your Fears and Making the Leap
to Success. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2006.
[Lerner shares inspiring stories and tips from women who stepped out of their comfort
zones and took risks. She shows readers how to take advantage of the opportunities in
their own lives and take risks that will result in success.]

Lichtenberg, Ronna. Pitch Like a Girl: How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed. [Emmaus, Pa.]:
Rodale, 2005.
[This book is fun and extremely relevant to participants in Taking the Stage®. It ex-
plains how to make “pitches” and sell yourself and your ideas to audiences of all kinds.]

Linklater, Kristin. Freeing the Natural Voice. New York: Drama Book Specialists, 1976.
[An explanation of how physical elements combine in the development of one’s voice.
This is quite a detailed technical book, but it’s written by a great voice teacher who has
much to say.]

McGinty, Sarah Myers. Power Talk: Using Language to Build Authority and Influence. New York: Warner Books,
2001.
[Myers is a linguist who provides a provocative study of the difference between
language one uses as an observer (language at the edge), and centre-stage language
that has power to influence.]

Milazzo, Vickie L. Inside Every Woman: Using the 10 Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had to Get the
Career and Life You Want Now. Hoboken, N.J.: Wiley, 2006.
[A look at the obstacles women face on their path to success and the 10 powerful
traits they can draw on to overcome those obstacles.]

Nix, S. Michele. Women at the Podium: Memorable Speeches in History. New York: Harper Resource,
2000.
[A historical collection of speeches by renowned women, including Queen Elizabeth
I, Sojourner Truth, Golda Meir, Clare Boothe Luce, Margaret Thatcher, and Madeleine
Albright.]

Noonan, Peggy. Simply Speaking: How to Communicate Your Ideas with Style, Substance, and Clarity.
New York, NY: ReganBooks, 1998.
[An important text that explains the critical elements for effective speech writing.
Noonan was speech writer to U.S. President Ronald Reagan, “the great communica-
tor.”]

Rodenburg, Patsy. The Need for Words: Voice and the Text. New York: Routledge, 2001.
[A highly recommended book for those who want to develop their vocal potential by
finding words that release their vocal power. Rodenburg writes: “The voice can release
a word and a word can release the voice.”]

116 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 Rosener, Judy B. America’s Competitive Secret: Women Managers. New York: Oxford University Press,
1997.
[In this book Rosener argues that women and men behave differently in management
roles. Through the use of interviews with top-flight executives, middle managers, and
the latest research on working women and organizational change, she describes the
unique contribution of female professionals in management positions.]

Stanny, Barbara. Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to Up Your Earnings and Change
Your Life. New York: HarperBusiness, 2004.
[An examination of the actions of women who break through the ceiling of six figure
incomes and those who don’t.]

Stoker, Barbara. Positive Risk How Smart Women Use Passion to Break Through Their Fears. Jossey-
Bass Inc Pub, 2008.
[A practical guide that shows women how to take the risks that will help them achieve
career and personal goals. Full of helpful checklists and great examples.]

Tannen, Deborah. Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men in the Workplace : Language Sex and Power. New
York: Avon, 1995.
[A “must” for all who have completed Part I of Taking the Stage®. It describes the
different assumptions women and men bring to their communications, and shows that
these are based on socialization.]

Wellington, Sheila W., and Be Your Own Mentor: Strategies from Top Women on the Secrets of Success. New
Betty Spence. York: Random House, 2001.
[An excellent collection of useful tools, suggestions, and reminders of how to be your
own mentor with helpful advice from women worth emulating.]

Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles. New York:
HarperOne, 2012.
[The quotation in Module IV of Taking the Stage®, “Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate,” is from this inspiring book.]

Wittenberg-Cox, Avivah, and Why Women Mean Business Understanding the Emergence of Our Next Economic
Alison Maitland. Revolution. Chichester, England: Wiley, 2008.
[The book showcases the opportunities available to companies that really understand
what motivates women in the global workplace and marketplace.]

Woodman, Marion Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride: A Psychological Study. Toronto:
Inner City Books, 1982.
[A psychological explanation of why women feel they must be “perfect.” Woodman
introduces the notion of the “inner crow” that is discussed in Part I of Taking the
Stage®.]

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 117
 MAGAZINES
Humphrey, Judith. “Taking the Stage: How Women Can Achieve A Leadership Presence.” Vital Speeches
of The Day. May 1, 2001: 435-438.
[A speech that provides an overview of the thinking behind the Taking the Stage®
program. Available at www.thehumphreygroup.com, under Taking the Stage speeches.]

Rosener, Judy. “The Ways Women Lead.” Harvard Business Review, November, 1990.
[This article is based on a survey Rosener conducted for the International women’s
Forum, which indicated that female managers are succeeding by drawing on what is
unique to their experience as women. A conclusion is drawn that female managers are
more interactive in their leadership than men.]

ONLINE MAGAZINE ARTICLES

Belkin, Lisa. “The Opt Out Revolution.” New York Times, August 7, 2003. http://www.nytimes.
com/2013/08/11/magazine/the-opt-out-revolution.html.
[A fascinating article from 2003 featuring successful women choosing to leave their
high profile positions to focus on their families.]

Benko, Cathy. and Bill, Pelster. “How Women Decide.” Harvard Business Review, September, 2013. http://hbr.
. org/2013/09/how-women-decide/.
[Research and insights into how women make decisions]

Kantor, Jodi. “Harvard Business School Case Study: Gender Equity.” New York Times, September
. 7, 2013. Accessed December 9, 2013. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/08/education/
harvard-case-study-gender-equity.html.
[An in-depth look at Harvard Business School’s ‘gender makeover’ – a multi-year effort
to foster and improve female success.]

Slaughter, Anne-Marie. “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” The Atlantic, July/August, 2012. Accessed Decem-
ber 9, 2013. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-
cant-have-it-all/309020/.
[Anne-Marie Slaughter’s popular article highlighting the struggles of the modern work-
ing woman.]

Warner, J. “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In.” New York Times, August 7, 2013. Accessed
December 9, 2013. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/11/magazine/the-opt-out-genera-
tion-wants-back-in.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.
[The 10 year follow-up to the New York Times’ popular article ‘The Opt-Out Revolu-
tion’.]

118 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 ONLINE NEWSPAPER ARTICLES
Leung, Wendy. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth? Study says sexes not as different as we
think.” Globe and Mail, February 10, 2013. Accessed December 9, 2013. http://www.
theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/men-are-from-earth-women-are-from-earth-
study-says-sexes-not-as-different-as-we-think/article8400712/.
[An overview of a study that concludes there is no statistical evidence to suggest
women and men are different when it comes to empathy, extroversion, and openness.]

BLOGS
Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, Melinda Marshall “How Women Drive Innovation and Growth - Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Melinda Marshall, and
and Laura Sherbin Laura Sherbin.” Harvard Business Review (blog). August 23, 2013. Accessed December
9, 2013. http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/08/how-women-drive-innovation-and/
[A blog about how to develop products or services that better serve female clients and
customers.]

Schwartz, Tony. “What Women Know about Leadership that Men Don’t - Tony Schwartz.” Harvard Busi-
ness Review (blog). October 30, 2012. Accessed December 9, 2013. http://blogs.hbr.
org/2012/10/what-women-know-that-men-dont/.
[Schwartz argues that women, generally, possess a more complete range of the quali-
ties modern leaders need.]

WEBPAGE ARTICLES
Goodreau, Jenna. “Eight Leadership Lessons From The World’s Most Powerful Women.” Forbes. Last
modified March 21, 2013. http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2013/03/21/eight-
leadership-lessons-from-the-worlds-most-powerful-women/.
[This webpage article introduces Eeight secrets to successful leadership, from the
world’s most powerful women.]

Goodreau, Jenna. “The 10 Worst Stereotypes About Powerful Women.” Forbes. Last modified October
24, 2011. http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2011/10/24/worst-stereotypes-
powerful-women-christine-lagarde-hillary-clinton/.
[ForbesWoman tracked down many of the world’s most powerful women and asked
them, “What is your least favorite stereotype about powerful women?”]

Avellana, Nicel, Jane. “Lack of Mentoring Prevents Women and Minorities from Ascending to Leadership
Positions | femme-o-nomics.com.” Leah Eichler. Last modified September 23, 2013.
http://femme-o-nomics.com/2013/09/newsflash-lack-of-mentoring-keeps-women-and-
minorities-from-multiple-board-roles/.
[A recent study confirming that a lack of mentoring is contributing to women and
minorities being underrepresented on company boards.]

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 119
 Kahnweiler, Jennifer B. “Quietly Leaning In: An Introvert’s Guide to Leadership.” Lean In Foundation. Last
modified August 21, 2013. http://leanin.org/news-inspiration/quietly-leaning-in-tips-for-
the-introvert/.
[Jennifer Kahnweller, Author of The introverted Leader, offers her insights into ‘leaning
in’ for the introvert.]

WEBSITES
Ellevate (85 Broads). www.ellevatenetwork.com
[A global network of trailblazing women founded by former executives of Goldman
Sachs]

Canadian Association of Women http://cawee.net/

Executives and Entrepreneurs. [A Canadian networking organization for female executives and entrepreneurs.]

Catalyst. www.catalyst.org
[Catalyst is a leading not-for-profit organization with a focus on expanding opportuni-
ties for women. The website features research, tools, and events ]

Forbes 100 Best Websites for http://www.forbes.com/sites/meghancasserly/2013/08/20/the-100-best-websites-for-

Women 2013. women-2013/
[An annual list of the best websites for women compiled by Forbes Magazine.]

Forbes Woman. http://www.forbes.com/forbeswoman/

[Forbes Magazine’s website for news and information related to women and business.]

Get Raised. https://www.getraised.com/

[A website designed to determine your worth and provides tools for negotiating a
raise.]

The Glass Hammer. http://www.theglasshammer.com/

[An online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and
business]

If You Weren’t Afraid. http://ifuwerentafraid.tumblr.com/

[The official Tumblr blog of Lean In featuring photographs of real women answering
the question, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”]

Lean In. www.leanin.org

[Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In Foundation encourages women to pursue their ambitions
and to foster dialogue about the challenges they are facing today.]

120 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.
 Lindsey Pollak. www.lindseypollak.com/
[The official website of Lindsey Pollak, Generation Y Career Expert and LinkedIn
Spokesperson.]

The Telegraph - Women’s Business. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/

[The Telegraph’s website for news and information related to women and business.]

UN Women. http://www.unwomen.org/
[United Nations entity for gender equality and the empowerment of women]

Women 2.0. http://women2.com/

[An organization focused on developing more female founders of technology start-
ups.]

Women’s Executive Network. https://www.wxnetwork.com/

[A Canadian organization committed to female networking, mentoring, and profes-
sional development.]

Women in Capital Markets. http://www.wcm.ca/

[A not-for-profit organization focused on the development and advancement of
women in the capital markets industry.]

PODCASTS/VIDEOS
Milne-Tyte, Ashley. “Episode 25: Killing the Ideal Woman.” Podcast audio. The Broad Experience: A Con-
versation about Women, the Workplace, and Success. September 9, 2013. Accessed
December 11, 2013. http://www.thebroadexperience.com/listen/2013/9/6/episode-
25-killing-the-ideal-woman.html.
[Management Professor and author Jodi Detjen speaks to Ashley Milne-Tyte about the
stereotype of the ‘ideal woman’ and how it is hurting women’s careers.]

Women in Capital Markets. “Episode 26: Get Ahead. No Guilt.” Podcast audio. The Broad Experience: A Conversa-
tion about Women, the Workplace, and Success. September 23, 2013. Accessed De-
cember 11, 2013. http://www.thebroadexperience.com/listen/2013/9/23/episode-26-get-
ahead-no-guilt.html.
[Journalist Jessica Bennett and the Financial Times’ Heather McGregor talk to Ashley
Milne-Tyte about getting ahead at work – minus the guilt.]

Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved. TAKING THE STAGE 121
 Cuddy, Amy. TED: Ideas worth spreading. Amy Cuddy: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are” |
Video on TED.com. Last modified October, 2012. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_
your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html
[In this fascinating TED Talk, Amy Cuddy, professor and researcher at Harvard Busi-
ness School, reveals how we can change perceptions of ourselves through body
language - even our own.]

Sandberg, Sheryl. TED: Ideas worth spreading. “Sheryl Sandberg: Why We Have Too Few Women Lead-
ers” | Video on TED.com” Last modified December, 2010. http://www.ted.com/talks/
sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html
[Sheryl Sandberg’s popular and inspiring TED Talk examines why women aren’t reach-
ing the top of their professions.]

122 Copyright © 2016 The Humphrey Group Inc. All rights reserved.