Emotional Action Steps
CONTENTS
TAKE THE EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TEST 1 - 2
APPLYING THE FIRST SECRET: REPROGRAM
THE BIOLOGY OF YOUR EMOTIONS 3-4
APPLYING THE SECOND SECRET: UNCOVER
THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF YOUR EMOTIONS 5
APPLYING THE THIRD SECRET: LEARN
THE ENERGETIC POWER OF YOUR EMOTONS 6
APPLYING THE FORTH SECRET: MAP THE
PSYCHOLOGY OF YOUR EMOTONS 7-8
Emotional Action Step
TAKE THE EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TEST
20 QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
This test will help you assess your level of emotional freedom at
this time. Place a check mark in the blank that most corresponds
to how seldom or often you experience these reactions.
Not Sometimes Mostly
True True True
0 1 2
1. If I’m angry with someone, I’ll breathe
and center myself before I react. ____ ____ ____
2. When I’m filled with self-doubt or fear,
I treat myself lovingly. ____ ____ ____
3. When stuck in traffic or if something
doesn’t happen on my timetable, I have
patience. ____ ____ ____
4. After a hard day, I focus on what I’m
grateful for rather than beating myself
up for what has gone wrong. ____ ____ ____
5. I rarely get snippy or cop an attitude if
people frustrate me. ____ _____ ___
6. I feel connected to a sense of spirituality,
however I define it. ____ ____ ____
7. I check in with my intuition—my gut
feelings—when making choices. ____ ____ ____
8. If I’m blamed for something, I rarely lash
out and say things I regret. ____ ____ ____
9. I fall asleep quickly and don’t worry about
tomorrow’s to-do list. ____ ____ ____
10. If my heart gets broken, I don’t give up
on love. ____ ____ ____
11. I’m a positive person and don’t make
small problems into big ones. ____ ____ ____
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Emotional Action Step
12. I don’t seek revenge if someone treats me
poorly. ____ ____ ____
13. I’m not jealous of other people’s success
if it surpasses mine. ____ ____ ____
14. I quickly let go of negative emotions
and don’t brood on them ____ ____ ____
15. I’m not easily crushed by disappointments. ____ ____ ____
16. I don’t compare myself to others. ____ ____ ____
17. I have empathy for others but I don’t
become their therapist or get drained
by their emotional pain. ____ ____ ____
18. I live in the Now, rather than dwelling
on the past or future. ____ ____ ____
19. I feel happy with my life, not that it’s
just passing me by. ____ ____ ____
20. I am good at setting limits with people
who drain my energy. ____ ____ ____
HOW TO INTERPRET THIS TEST
To calculate your emotional freedom score, total the numbers
corresponding to your responses.
• A score of 30–40 suggests that you’re experiencing a considerable
level of emotional freedom in your life.
• A score of 15–29 suggests a moderate level.
• A score of 14 or below suggests a beginning level.
• A zero score (and it takes courage to admit that) indicates you
haven’t found emotional freedom yet, but the good news is that
you can start discovering it now.
Whatever your score, be compassionate when you identify
areas you’d like to improve. Realize that we all have a ways to
go. Emotional freedom isn’t some place you arrive at and just
stay there. It’s an ongoing blossoming.
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Emotional Action Step
APPLYING THE FIRST SECRET: REPROGRAM THE
BIOLOGY OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Reduce Stress with This Three-Minute Meditation
1. Find a comfortable, quiet place. Wearing loose clothing, settle into
a relaxed position in a spot where you won’t be interrupted by
phones, beepers, or people. It’s best to sit upright on a couch,
chair, or cushion, so you don’t fall asleep. You can be cross-legged
or with legs extended, whatever makes you most at ease.
2. Focus on your breath to quiet your thoughts. Eyes closed, gently
place your awareness on your breath. Be conscious only of
breathing in and breathing out. When thoughts come, and they
will, visualize them as clouds passing in the sky. Notice your
thoughts, but don’t attach any judgment to them. Just let them
float away and gently return to focusing on your breath.
Maintain a centered state of calm by continuing to follow the
movement of your breath.
3. Breathe in calm, breathe out stress. Let yourself feel the sensuality
of inhaling and exhaling as air passes through your nostrils
and chest like a cool breeze. Take pleasure in the breath’s hypnotic
rhythm, what the Buddha described as “breathing in and out
sensitive to rapture.” With each slow, deep breath, feel yourself
inhaling calm, sweet as the scent of summer jasmine, then
exhaling stress. Inhale calm, then exhale fear. Inhale calm, then
exhale frustration. All negativity is released. Your body unwinds,
lulling your biology. You’re cocooned by the safety of stillness.
Keep refocusing on your breath and the calm. Only the calm.
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Emotional Action Step
This simple, stress-busting meditation is an initial action
step you can take to forge a winning partnership with your
biology. Practicing it, you’ll become increasingly adept at upping
endorphins and short-circuiting your flight-or-flight response,
biological gifts of meditation. Once you get the hang of
neutralizing stress, it’s a merciful reprieve for the body. You’ll
feel a load lift when uptightness dissipates.
4
Emotional Action Step
APPLYING THE SECOND SECRET: UNCOVER THE
SPIRITUAL MEANING OF YOUR EMOTIONS
A Heart-Centering Meditation to Counter Negative Self-Talk
1. Settle down. In a tranquil setting, sit comfortably and close your
eyes. Take a few long, deep breaths to relieve tension. Even if your
negative thoughts are going a mile a minute ( you know that broken
record: “I’m not good enough, smart enough, spiritual enough,”
yada yada), keep concentrating on your breath as best you can.
2. Tune in to your heart. Lightly rest your palm over your heart in
the midchest. This energy center is the entryway to compassion
and spirit. In a relaxed state, inwardly request to connect with
a higher power, a force greater than yourself that links you to
love. It can be God, the starlit sky, or a beneficent intelligence,
whatever stirs you. Then, in your heart area, notice what you
intuitively feel, not what you think. You may experience a
soothing warmth, comfort, clarity, even bliss. I often get shivers,
feel a wave of goose bumps, or am moved to tears. It’s easiest to
first feel spirit inside you. From that home base, you can better
sense it everywhere. Stay aware of your heart as it opens more
and more, infusing you with compassion. If negative self-talk still
arises, keep your compassion flowing. The spiritual meaning of
doing this is learning to have mercy on yourself for any perceived
lacking, to know that you’re enough just as you are. With that
meaning in mind, let the freedom of compassion flood your body,
a balm for all that ails.
5
Emotional Action Step
APPLYING THE THIRD SECRET: LEARN THE
ENERGETIC POWER OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Try an Intuitive Experiment: Sense the Difference
Between Positive and Negative Emotions
In this experiment, you’re going to compare two scenarios.
With both observe how your words and tone affect your body
and emotional state. Spend at least a few minutes trying these
words on.
Scenario 1. Stand in front of a mirror and sincerely say to
yourself in a loving, appreciative tone, “I look terrific and I’m a
fantastic person.” Stay focused on your positives. Then feel,
don’t think. Notice how your body reacts. Are you breathing
easier? Do your shoulders relax? Does your gut untighten?
Does your energy rise? Do you feel happier? Lighter? Freer?
Also, note any other changes.
Scenario 2. Stand in front of the mirror and say in your nastiest,
most hateful tone, “I look horrible and I despise myself.” Really
mean it. Flare those negatives up. How does your body react
now? Notice your shoulders, your gut, your chest. Is your
energy higher or lower? Are you clenching? Breathing
shallowly? Do you feel depressed? Are your aches and pains
aggravated? Whatever you sense, note it. Stew in this negativity
awhile so you won’t forget the feel of toxic energy.
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Emotional Action Step
APPLYING THE FOURTH SECRET: MAP THE
PSYCHOLOGY OF YOUR EMOTIONS
TAKE AN EMOTIONAL INVENTORY OF YOUR PARENTS
To get a well-rounded picture of your parents, I’d like you
to take an inventory of their top five positive and negative
traits. Were they caring, good listeners, always there for you?
And/or depressed, disappointed in life, blaming? Try using the
format below. Identifying these traits, do your best to see your
parents as human rather than idealizing or demonizing them.
Get their pluses and minuses down on paper so they can stare
right back at you. When reviewing the inventory, consider
ways your parents’ assets or liabilities impacted you. Which
traits on your list instilled confidence? Humor? A sense of
safety? Which ones impaired your well-being? Also, be truthful
about the traits you too possess. If they are positive, embrace
them. If they are negative, begin to work with one at a time to
free yourself. You don’t have to worry about turning into your
parents if you take action not to parrot their dysfunction. Then
decide what you want to retain. Let this inventory begin to
help you rewire your psychological programming so it suits the
freest you.
Trait Mother Father
Positive 1. ____________________ 1. ____________________
2. ____________________ 2. ____________________
3. ____________________ 3. ____________________
4. ____________________ 4. ____________________
5. ____________________ 5. ____________________
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Emotional Action Step
Negative 1. ____________________ 1. ____________________
2. ____________________ 2. ____________________
3. ____________________ 3. ____________________
4. ____________________ 4. ____________________
5. ____________________ 5. ____________________
