The
GRATITUDE
GUIDE
by Intelligent Change
Those who
don’t believe
in magic will
never find it.
- ROALD DAHL
WHAT IS GRATITUDE?
This nifty emotion defies easy classification. Gratitude,
derived from the Latin word gratia (meaning grace,
graciousness or gratefulness) eludes easy explanation by
academics. Definitions such as “the willingness to recognize
the unearned increments of value in one’s experience” look great
on term papers but don’t get the point across. We will not
attempt to disguise imprecision with ten dollar words.
Gratitude is the experience of counting one’s blessings.
It is the feeling that embodies the word “Thank you”. It is
the unexpected reward of a kind deed that is magically
produced by your brain. It’s the cute, tingly feeling in your
body that makes you smile at strangers.
Why do scientists love gratitude?
Even after cutting through the smoke of Law of
Attraction-style belief systems, gratitude has shown to be
quite transformative in humans ranging from housewives to
nursing students.
A 2003 study by Emmons and McCullough found that
keeping a daily gratitude journal leads to a better sleep, a
reductions of physical pain, a greater sense of well-being,
and a better ability to handle change.4
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Writing
Gratitudes
PREVENTING REPETITIVENESS
The first week of adopting a gratitude practice may seem
like sunshine and rainbows. You feel more positive. Good
things start randomly happening. All is right with the
world. And then it happens.
Writing what you are grateful for each day starts getting
repetitive. Gratitude becomes a chore.
How many more ways can I say I am grateful for Mom?
How many more ways can I appreciate the weather?
These experiences are bound to happen.
The following is how you can keep your gratitude practice
fresh for years to come.
1. Get Specific
The more detailed you get with gratitude, the more
impactful it will be. Saying “I am grateful for Mom” is nice
IF you connect with the feeling behind it. But it can
quickly feel repetitive saying this for several weeks in a row.
Sorry Mom.
To remedy this, pick something specific like, “I am grateful
for Mom’s laugh” or, “I am grateful for Mom not telling me
to clean my room as an adult.”
You want enough detail so you can VISUALIZE the
gratitude and FEEL it. This is key.
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2. Use Negative Visualization
Odds are you have (or are considering) a gratitude practice
in the first place is because you find it easy to be a critic
rather than a celebrator. Most people do. In psychology,
they call this the Negativity bias.
Now is the time to use this to your advantage. Instead of
visualizing all the good in your life, imagine it was all taken
away.
Goodbye puppy. Goodbye good health. Goodbye dream job.
Kind of jarring, isn’t it? This used to be an old Stoic exercise
that put the people and things you value into perspective
real quick. The stoics would even take it as far to dress in
their worst clothes and go without food for a day to up the
stakes. For our purposes, we’ll keep it strictly to gratitude
journaling :)
Imagine you could not walk. Imagine you were born as a
slave. Imagine you lost your best friend. Doing this exercise
is often one of the most powerful.
3. Use Gratitude Categories
For all you planners out there, you’ll love this one. Instead
of trying to randomly think of gratitudes each day, you’ll
add a bit of structure. It’s simple.
Pick a gratitude category for each day of the week.
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It could look like this:
Monday = gratitude for romantic relationship.
Tuesday = gratitude for family.
Wednesday = gratitude about things I like in myself.
Thursday = gratitude about things I own.
Friday = gratitude about the world.
Saturday = gratitude about friends.
Sunday = gratitude about how my negative qualities
could be positive qualities.
Pick a few categories. Pick a different category each day. Do
what your heart desires. Using planned spontaneity can be
an effective ally.
BONUS: Share your gratitude with others
Although on the surface this seems simple, telling others
how awesome they are can feel weird. Will they think I have
an agenda? Will they think I’m weird? They probably already
know how I feel?
Gratitude is all about the emotion. If you just intellectually
THINK about gratitude without feeling, you are
receiving little psychological boost. Sharing your gratitudes
with others can take the emotion to the next level.
