What’s a 

cognitive distortion and why do so many people have them? Cognitive

distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t
really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative
thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate,
but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

For instance, a person might tell themselves, “I always fail when I try to do
something new; I therefore fail at everything I try.” This is an example of “black or
white” (or polarized) thinking. The person is only seeing things in absolutes —
that if they fail at one thing, they must fail at all things. If they added, “I must be a
complete loser and failure” to their thinking, that would also be an example
of overgeneralization — taking a failure at one specific task and generalizing it
their very self and identity.

Cognitive distortions are at the core of what many cognitive-behavioral and other
kinds of therapists try and help a person learn to change in psychotherapy. By
learning to correctly identify this kind of “stinkin’ thinkin’,” a person can then
answer the negative thinking back, and refute it. By refuting the negative thinking
over and over again, it will slowly diminish overtime and be automatically
replaced by more rational, balanced thinking.

The Most Common Cognitive

Distortions

In 1976, psychologist Aaron Beck first proposed the theory behind cognitive
distortions and in the 1980s, David Burns was responsible for popularizing it with
common names and examples for the distortions.

1. Filtering
 A person engaging in filter (or “mental filtering) takes the negative details and
magnifies those details while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For
instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it
exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted. When a
cognitive filter is applied, the person sees only the negative and ignores anything
positive.

2. Polarized Thinking (or “Black and White”

Thinking)

In polarized thinking, things are either “black-or-white” — all or nothing. We

have to be perfect or we’re a complete and abject failure — there is no middle
ground. A person with polarized thinking places people or situations in “either/or”
categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people
and most situations. A person with black-and-white thinking sees things only in
extremes.

3. Overgeneralization

In this cognitive distortion, a person comes to a general conclusion based on a

single incident or a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens just once,
they expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single,
unpleasant event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.

For instance, if a student gets a poor grade on one paper in one semester, they
conclude they are a horrible student and should quit school.
4. Jumping to Conclusions

Without individuals saying so, a person who jumps to conclusions knows what
another person is feeling and thinking — and exactly why they act the way they
do. In particular, a person is able to determine how others are feeling toward the
person, as though they could read their mind. Jumping to conclusions can also
manifest itself as fortune-telling, where a person believes their entire future is pre-
ordained (whether it be in school, work, or romantic relationships).

For example, a person may conclude that someone is holding a grudge against
them, but doesn’t actually bother to find out if they are correct. Another example
involving fortune-telling is when a person may anticipate that things will turn out
badly in their next relationship, and will feel convinced that their prediction is
already an established fact, so why bother dating.

5. Catastrophizing

When a person engages in catastrophizing, they expect disaster to strike, no

matter what. This is also referred to as magnifying, and can also come out in its
opposite behavior, minimizing. In this distortion, a person hears about a problem
and uses what if questions (e.g., “What if tragedy strikes?” “What if it happens to
me?”) to imagine the absolute worst occurring.

For example, a person might exaggerate the importance of insignificant events

(such as their mistake, or someone else’s achievement). Or they may
inappropriately shrink the magnitude of significant events until they appear tiny
(for example, a person’s own desirable qualities or someone else’s imperfections).

With practice, you can learn to answer each of these cognitive distortions.
6. Personalization

Personalization is a distortion where a person believes that everything others

do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to them. They literally take
virtually everything personally, even when something is not meant in that way. A
person who experiences this kind of thinking will also compare themselves to
others, trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.

A person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the cause of

some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for. For example,
“We were late to the dinner party and caused everyone to have a terrible time. If I
had only pushed my husband to leave on time, this wouldn’t have happened.”

7. Control Fallacies

This distortion involves two different but related beliefs about being in
complete control of every situation in a person’s life. In the first, if we
feel externally controlled, we see ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. For
example, “I can’t help it if the quality of the work is poor, my boss demanded I
work overtime on it.”

The fallacy of internal control has us assuming responsibility for the pain and
happiness of everyone around us. For example, “Why aren’t you happy? Is it
because of something I did?”

8. Fallacy of Fairness
 In the fallacy of fairness, a person feels resentful because they think that they
know what is fair, but other people won’t agree with them. As our parents tell us
when we’re growing up and something doesn’t go our way, “Life isn’t always
fair.” People who go through life applying a measuring ruler against every
situation judging its “fairness” will often feel resentful, angry, and even
hopelessness because of it. Because life isn’t fair — things will not always work
out in a person’s favor, even when they should.

9. Blaming

When a person engages in blaming, they hold other people responsible for
their emotional pain. They may also take the opposite track and instead blame
themselves for every problem — even those clearly outside their own control.

For example, “Stop making me feel bad about myself!” Nobody can “make” us
feel any particular way — only we have control over our own emotions and
emotional reactions.

10. Shoulds

Should statements (“I should pick up after myself more…”) appear as a list of
ironclad rules about how every person should behave. People who break the rules
make a person following these should statements angry. They also feel guilty when
they violate their own rules. A person may often believe they are trying to motivate
themselves with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if they have to be punished before they
can do anything.
For example, “I really should exercise. I shouldn’t be so
lazy.” Musts and oughts are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt.
When a person directs should statements toward others, they often feel anger,
frustration and resentment.

11. Emotional Reasoning

The distortion of emotional reasoning can be summed up by the statement, “If

I feel that way, it must be true.” Whatever a person is feeling is believed to be true
automatically and unconditionally. If a person feels stupid and boring, then they
must be stupid and boring.

Emotions are extremely strong in people, and can overrule our rational thoughts
and reasoning. Emotional reasoning is when a person’s emotions takes over our
thinking entirely, blotting out all rationality and logic. The person who engages in
emotional reasoning assumes that their unhealthy emotions reflect the way things
really are — “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

12. Fallacy of Change

In the fallacy of change, a person expects that other people will change to suit
them if they just pressure or cajole them enough. A person needs to change people
because their hopes for success and happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

This distortion is often found in thinking around relationships. For example, a

girlfriend who tries to get her boyfriend to improve his appearance and manners, in
the belief that this boyfriend is perfect in every other way and will make them
happy if they only changed these few minor things.
13. Global Labeling

In global labeling (also referred to as mislabeling), a person generalizes one or

two qualities into a negative global judgment about themselves or another person.
This is an extreme form of overgeneralizing. Instead of describing an error in
context of a specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy universal label to
themselves or others.

For example, they may say, “I’m a loser” in a situation where they failed at a
specific task. When someone else’s behavior rubs a person the wrong way —
without bothering to understand any context around why — they may attach an
unhealthy label to him, such as “He’s a real jerk.”

Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and
emotionally loaded. For example, instead of saying someone drops her children off
at daycare every day, a person who is mislabeling might say that “She abandons
her children to strangers.”

14. Always Being Right

When a person engages in this distortion, they are continually putting other
people on trial to prove that their own opinions and actions are the absolute correct
ones. To a person engaging in “always being right,” being wrong is unthinkable —
they will go to any length to demonstrate their rightness.

For example, “I don’t care how badly arguing with me makes you feel, I’m going
to win this argument no matter what because I’m right.” Being right often is more
important than the feelings of others around a person who engages in this cognitive
distortion, even loved ones.
15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

The final cognitive distortion is the false belief that a person’s sacrifice and
self-denial will eventually pay off, as if some global force is keeping score. This is
a riff on the fallacy of fairness, because in a fair world, the people who work the
hardest will get the largest reward. A person who sacrifices and works hard but
doesn’t experience the expected pay off will usually feel bitter when the reward
doesn’t come.