SCENE ONE

(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage)

Announcer: Welcome. Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see a story of
murder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery, and treachery – all those
things we all hold near and dear to our hearts. Thank you.

(The first notes of Overture/ Instrumental sound) 5, 6, 7, 8!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Onyx club is proud to present Chicago’s hottest
show in the world.
(All That Jazz’s performance sung and danced by Velma Kelly and the ensemble)

Come on babe
Why don’t we paint the town?
And all that Jazz
I’m gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano’s hot
It’s just a noisy hall
Where there’s a nightly brawl
And all
That
Jazz
[Velma Kelly]
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Slick your hair
And wear your buckle shoes
And all that Jazz
I hear that Father Dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that Jazz
Hold on, hon
We’re gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do
that jazz

(The lights start to point also at the left side of the stage. Fred Casely and Roxie Hart
enter to Roxie Hart’s bedroom.)

Fred: Listen, your husband ain’t home, is he?

Velma: No, her husband is not at home!

(The song starts again. The lights point just the middle of the stage)

[Velma Kelly]
Find a flask
We’re playing fast and loose
And all that jazz
Right up here
Is where I store the juice
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
We’re gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy
Never flew so high
‘Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
to all
that
Jazz?
Oh, you’re gonna see your sheba shimmy shake
[Company]
And all that jazz
[Velma Kelly]
Oh, she’s gonna shimmy ‘till her garters break
[Company]
And all that jazz
[Velma Kelly]
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother’s blood’d curdle
[Company]
If she’d hear her baby’s queer
[Velma Kelly]
For all
that
jazz

[Velma Kelly]
All
that
jazz
Come on, babe
Why Don’t we paint
The town?
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
I’m gonna *
Rouge my knees
And roll my *
Stockings down
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano’s hot
It’s just a noisy hall
Where there’s a nightly brawl
And all
that
jazz

(The lights point again the left side of the stage, in Roxie hart’s bedroom. She is still with
her lover Fred Casely and he’s getting dressed. The music sounds lower and Velma
and the dancers stay frozen.)

Roxie Hart: Hey, why the hurry? Amos ain’t gonna be home until midnight. Hey, I don’t
like you to feel like I’m nagging or anything. But don’t you think it’s about time for me to
meet your friend down at the Onyx? It’s been a month since you told him about me.
You’re not going away, right?
Fred Casely: It’s getting late.
Roxie Hart: I’ve been thinking a lot about my anthem. And you know what’ve come to
me? Have something more different going on, you know? And once I get a name for
myself. Maybe we can open up a club in Varum, you know? You could run it, and I
could be the headliner.
Fred Casely: Get off.
Roxie Hart: What’s the idea?
Fred Casely: Wake up, kiddo, you ain’t ever gonna have an act. Face it, Roxie. You’re
two big towers with skinny legs. And I’m just a furniture salesman.
Roxie Hart: But you got connections. You know, that guy down the club…
Fred Casely: There’s no guy.
Roxie Hart: So you never told anyone about me?
Fred Casely: Sugar, you’re hot stuff. I would say anything to get a piece of that. (He
laughs) Let’s just leave it like that.
Roxie Hart: Fred… You can’t do this to me.
Fred Casely: You get off! You touch me again, I’ll put your lights out.
Roxie Hart: You’re a liar, Fred.
Fred Casely: Oh, yeah, so what? (He turns around to go away)
Roxie Hart: (She takes out a gun) Oh Fred?

All the girls: Oh Fred?

Fred Casely:  (Turning around to her) What?

Roxie Hart: Nobody walks on me. (She points at him with the gun)

Fred Casely: But sweetheart.

Roxie Hart: Don’t sweetheart me .You son of a bitch… (Shot/ The drums rattle) Son of a
bitch! (Shot again/ The drums rattle)

The ensemble: Whoopi… hutcha….Jazz

Roxie Hart: Oh. I gotta pee.

(All that jazz continues in the middle of the Stage)

[Velma Kelly]
No, I’m no one’s wife
But, Oh, I love my life
And all
that
Jazz!
That Jazz!
(Black out)

SCENE 2
 

(At Roxie hart’s bedroom. The lights are pointing to the right side of the stage, the scene
crime. Amos Hart, Sergeant Fogarty and Martin Harrison on stage)
Sergeant Fogarty: Why did you get a murder weapon?
Amos Hart: I keep a gun in the underway drawer. Just in case for trouble, you know.
Sergeant Fogarty: That’s just fine. Sign right there, Mr. Hart.
Amos Hart: For you, gladly. Really gladly.
Sergeant Fogarty: And mind that you don’t say we beat you up when you at the witness
stand.
Amos Hart: No, I give myself up. Surrender at my own free will.
Martin Harrison: It’s indeed you’re the murderer.
Amos Hart: Shooting a burglar isn’t murder. Just last week jury sent a man…
Martin Harrison: I’m always grateful if the citizens know the law. Okay, from the top.
Amos Hart: Well, I come home from the garage, I see him climbing through the window.
And my wife Roxie was lying there, sleeping like an angel.
Martin Harrison: Is that true?
Amos Hart: I’m telling you, that’s the truth. My wife has nothing to do with it. She
won’t hurt a worm. Not even a worm. Until I fired the first shot, then she opened her
eyes. She was somehow asleep. I would say she sleeps in charisma pray.
When I think of what would have happened if I went off for a beer with the guys
instead of coming straight home, it makes me sick even to think about it…
Announcer: For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of
Loving Devotion. Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.

(My funny honey’s performance sung by Roxie Hart. The lights start to point at the
middle of the stage too)

[Roxie]
Sometime’s I’m right
Sometime’s I’m wrong
But he doesn’t care
He’ll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometime’s I’m down
Sometime’s I’m up
But he follows ‘round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
He ain’t no sheik
That’s no great physique
And Lord knows he ain’t got the smarts
Oh but look at that soul
I tell you the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you’d agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why he’d be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny sunny honey
Hubby of mine
(The music lowers down while the other characters keep acting)

Amos Hart: And suppose if… just suppose if he violated her or something. You know
what I mean, violated?
Martin Harrison: I know what you mean.
Amos Hart: Or something. Think how terrible it’d have been. It’s good thing I got home
from work on time. – I’m telling you that.
[Roxie Hart]
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Martin Harrison: The name of deceased is Fred Casely.

Amos Hart: Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him. He sold us
our furniture. He gave us 10% off.

[Roxie Hart]
Lord knows he ain’t got the smarts

Martin Harrison: You told me he was the burglar?

Amos Hart: I’m covering for her. She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar. And I’d
say I did it because I was sure to get off. ‘Help me, Amos.’ she said, ‘It’s my goddamn
hour-need.’

[Roxie Hart]
Now he shot off his trap
I can’t stand that sap

Amos Hart: (He talks to Mister Harrison Roxie sings) And I believed that cheap little
tramp. She’s too smart on me, huh? And I protected her… I’m on the garage with my
butt 14 hours a day. And she’s now promoted to a bon-bon? And traveling around like
some goddamn pussy! I can’t take it. And this time she pushed me too far. I didn’t shoot
him. Fool, what a sap I was.
[Roxie Hart]
Look at him go, rattin’ on me
With just one more brain what a half-wit he’d be
If they string me up I’ll know who brought the twine
That scummy, crummy, dummy, hubby of mine

(The music ends)

Roxie Hart: You double-crosser! You big bluffer mouth! You promised you’d stay…
Amos Hart: What’re you talking about? You’ve been setting me up, Roxie! – You told
me it was a burglar!
Roxie Hart: Goddamn it! You are a disloyal husband! Look, it’s true. I shoot him. But it
was self-defense. He was trying to burgle me.
Martin Harrison: From what I hear, he’s been burgled you three times a week for the last
month. Your story doesn’t work, Mrs. Hart. So try this emphasize. Fred Casely was a
good time on the side but goofy here is a meal ticket.
Roxie Hart: Meal ticket? He couldn’t buy my liquor.
Martin Harrison: And Fred Casely could? With a wife and five little Caselys? Or he
forgot to mention them?
Roxie Hart: What? That bastard! Yes, I killed him. I would kill him again!
Martin Harrison: (To the officer) Once was enough. Take her downtown. Come on. (The
officer takes Roxie from her arms)
Martin Harrison: Take it while you can. The case is down. District attorney Harrison says
this is a hanging case.
Roxie Hart: Hanging?
Martin Harrison: I’m ready to go to the jury tomorrow. Not so confident anymore, are
you? Take her to the Cooke County Jail.

(Black out)

 SCENE 3
(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the County Jail.
Six Cells from above go down to the stage)

[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!

Announcer: And now, the six merry murderers from the Cooke county jail in their
rendition of The Cell-block Tango.

(Cell- block tango’s performance sung and danced by the murderesses)

[Liz]

Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[All Murderess’s]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you’d have been there
If you’d have seen it
[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[All Murderess’s]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you’d have been there
If you’d have seen it
[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz, girls]
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So, I came home this one day and
I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there’s Bernie
layin’ on the couch, drinkin’ a beer and chewin’. No, not chewin’. Popin’. So,
I said to him, I said, ‘Bernie, you pop that gum one more time…’
And he did!
So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots…
…into his head.
[All Murderess’s]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you’d have been there
If you’d have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

[Annie]
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he
was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He’d
go to work, he’d come home, I’d mix Him a drink, we’d have dinner.
And then I found out, ‘Single’ he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he
married. …oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night when he came home from work. I mixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can’t hold their arsenic!
[All without Annie]
Hah! He had it coming / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
He had it coming / Cicero, Lipschitz!
He took a flower
In its prime
And the he used it / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
And he abused it / Cicero, Lipschitz!
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[June]
Now, I’m standing in the kitchen carvin’ up the chicken for dinner, minding my
own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. ‘You been
screwin’ the milkman,’ he says. He was crazy and he kept on screamin’ ‘You
been screwin’ the milkman,’ And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my
knife TEN TIMES!

[All Murderess’s]
If you’d have been there
If you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Hunyak]
Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmagyarazni de nem
ertettek meg…
[All Murderess’s]
Yeah, but did you do it?
[Hunyak]
UH UH, not guilty!
[Velma]
My sister, Veronica, and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie,
traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20
acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five… Splits, spread
eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one
night before the show we are in a hotel Cicero, the three of us, sittin’ up
in a hotel room, boozin’ and havin’ a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I
went out to get some. I come back, open the door And there’s Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen -the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can’t
remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my
hands I even knew they were dead.
[Velma, Girls]
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along.
I didn’t do it/ She does not do it
But if I’d done it (she’d done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They took a flower
All along
In its prime
I didn’t do it
And then they used it
But if I’d done it
And they abused it
How could you tell me
It was a murder
That I was wrong? / But not a crime!
[Mona]
I love Alvin Lipschitz More than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic
guy… Sensitive…a painter. He was always trying to find himself. He’d go
out every night looking for himself and along the way he found Ruth, Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw
himself as alive and I saw him dead.
[All Murderess’s]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
[All without Mona]
They had it comin’
They had it comin’
They had it comin’
They had it comin’
They had it comin’
They had it comin’
All along
All along
‘Cause if they used us
‘Cause if they used us
And they abused us
And they abused us
How could you tell us
How could you tell us
That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
[Velma, June, Hunyak]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you’d have been there
If you’d have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(Black out)
SCENE 4

(The lights point at the middle of the stage. It is the County Jail)

Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen. The keeper of the keys, the countess of
the clink, the mistress of murderers’ row. Matron Mama Morton!

Mama Morton: Welcome, ladies.

(When you are good to Mama’s performance sung and danced by Mama)
[Mama Morton]
Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They’ll tell you I’m the biggest mother hen
I love ‘em all and all of them love me
Because the system works
The system called reciprocity…
Got a little motto
Always sees me through
‘When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you’.
There’s a lot of favors
I’m prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She’ll do one for you.
They say that life is tit for tat
And that’s the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I’ve got to give
Don’t you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you!

(Roxie appears from the left side of the stage)

Mama Morton: You must be Hart. You’re a pretty one.
Roxie Hart: Thank you, ma’am.
Mama Morton: Why don’t you call me Mama? I can take care of you. You’d be happy
taken down in these block. Murderers’ Row, we called it.
Roxie Hart: Oh, is it nice? I don’t think I’m really belonging here. I didn’t actually do
anything wrong.
Mama Morton: Don’t need to tell me, honey. I’ve never heard of a man getting killed.
When you get used to just come to talk.
Velma Kelly: Hey, mama. Come here.
Roxie Hart: Velma Kelly? You’re the Velma Kelly? You know I was there that night? I
was there the night that you got arrested.
Velma Kelly: Yeah, you’re a half of Chicago. Now, Go away Blondie. (Roxie goes away
at the right side of the stage) Look at this, Mama. Another story of announcing me in
Redbook magazine. The newspapers call me the Crime of the year. And they say:  Not
in memory do we recall so finishing horrible in double homicide.
Mama Morton: Maybe you couldn’t buy that kind of publicity.
Velma Kelly: Couldn’t buy it? I guess I can keep these then. (She gives mama the
money)
Mama Morton: Ah. You took care of mama and I took care of you. I talked to Billy Flynn.
Now, Billy Flynn set a travel on March 5th. March 7th, you would be quit. On March 8th,
you know what Mama gonna do for you? Mama gonna put you back on the Vaudeville
two.
Velma Kelly: I’ve been a lot in Vaudeville two. What kind of dough are we talking about?
Mama Morton: Well, I can talk to the boys over at William Morris. With your recent
sensational activity, they seem to be thinking of giving you $2,500.
Velma Kelly: $2,500? The most me and Veronica made is 35,000.
Mama Morton: Yeah, that was before of the cicero and Billy Flynn and Mama. 
Velma Kelly: You know what, Mama? I always wanted to play in big Gym Conesus
most. Do you think you can get me that?
Mama Morton: The Gyms? I don’t know. That’s another story. It’s gonna take you
another phone call.
Velma Kelly: How much is that phone call gonna cost?
Mama Morton: Come on, Velma. I care about you. You’re like family to me. You’re like
one of my own. – I’ll do it for 50 bucks.
Velma Kelly: 50 bucks for a phone call? You must’ve got a lot of wrong numbers,
Mama.

(Velma exeunts. The song continues)

If you want my gravy

Pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama
She’ll get hot for you
When they pass that basket
Folk contribute to
You put in for Mama
She’ll put out for you
The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, Kid
And I’ll boost you up yours
Let’s all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you’re strokin’ Mama
Mama’s strokin’ you
So what’s the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you’re good to Mama
Mama’s good to you!

(Black out)
 

SCENE 5
(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage, Mama is sitting on a chair in front of a
table. It seems to be her desk. The murderesses wait in line to talk to Mama)
Liz and June: Mama, please we need to make a phone call?

Mama: Ok, Ladies, you know how much it costs.

Liz: 50?

Mama: Are you kidding me?

June: 100?

Mama: Now, we’re talking. Who the hell do you want to talk to?

Liz and June: Our dear husbands.

Mama: I see. What a pity for you! Because they are fucking dead.

June: Oh god, we forgot.

Mama: Please, go away before I kill you, you jerk. (They go away) Miss Hunyak?

Hunyak: Not Guilty!

Mama: Yeah Honey, you can say that during the whole play and nobody will believe
that. (To Roxie) Is the only thing she can say! (Hunyak goes away. To Roxie) And you
sweetheart, what do you want?

Roxie Hart: No, I just bring this for Miss Kelly (Velma appears form the right side of the
stage, reading the newspaper) Oh, there she is! (She goes to Velma) Oh, Miss Kelly.
That’s your personals. (She gives Velma her underwear) It’s my pleasure. Hey, listen.
Can l ask you something? You know that Harrison guy? He said that what I’ve done is a
hanging case and he’s prepared to ask for the maximum penalty.
Velma Kelly: Yeah? So?
Roxie Hart: So, I’m scared. I’d surely appreciate some advice, especially from
someone I admire as much as you. Since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the
stage.
Velma Kelly: Really? What’s your talent? Washing and drying?
Roxie Hart: No. I dance in the chorus. That was before I met my husband…
Velma Kelly: Look, honey, you want some advice? Here it is, direct from me to you.
Keep your paws off my underwear, okay?
Roxie Hart: Yeah, okay. Thanks… for nothing. (Velma sits down on Mama’s desk and
reads the newspaper)
Mama Morton: She’s so nice, isn’t she? Roxie, relax. In this town, murder is a formal
entertainment. Besides, in 47 years Cooke County has never hung a woman yet. So
even if it’s 47 and 1, they won’t hang you. I’d like to help you, baby. So, tell me Roxie,
what are you gonna tell the jury?
Roxie Hart: I guess….I will tell the truth.

Mama Morton: The truth?

Velma Kelly: To tell the truth is really stupid.
Roxie Hart: Jesus, Mary, Joseph. What I’ m gonna do?

Velma Kelly: Maybe you are talking to the wrong people.

Mama Morton: You see. Murder is like a divorce, the reason doesn’t counts, is the
grounds, what is your circumstance in self-defense.

Roxie Hart: Yeah… (To Velma) what is your ground?

Velma Kelly: My ground is that I didn’t do it.

Roxie Hart: So, who did?

Velma Kelly: Well, for sure I don’t know. I was completely black out. I can’t remember a
thing, only thing I’m sure is that I didn’t do it. I have the best ground in the world! Right,
mama?

Mama Morton: You wish!

Roxie Hart: How can I get a good ground?

Velma Kelly: (She stands up) Ask your lawyer.

Roxie Hart: I don´t have a lawyer.

Velma Kelly: Well, as they say, you have a lot of shit above, my dear (She goes away)

Mama Morton: What you really need, is Billy Flynn.

Roxie Hart: Who?
Mama Morton: Billy Flynn. The best criminal lawyer in all Illinois, Chicago.
Roxie Hart: How do I get in touch with this Billy Flynn?
Mama Morton: Not by prayer, dear. First, you give me a hundred dollars. Then I’ll make
a phone call.
Roxie Hart: A hundred dollars? And how much does he get?
Mama Morton: Five thousand dollars.

Roxie Hart: Five thousand dollars?

Mama Morton: He’s never lost a case for a female client yet. Every girl in this place
would kill to have Billy Flynn representing them. (She laughs and goes away)

Roxie Hart: So, how can I get 5 thousand dollars? How can I get 5 thousand dollars?
Think Roxie… ah, I know. AMOS.
(Black out)

SCENE 6

(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage which is empty and at the left side of
the stage we can see Billy Flynn´s office in darkness. All I care about is
love performance sung and danced by Billy and the female ensemble)
[Girls]
We want Billy
Give us
B. I. Double L.Y.
We’re all his
He’s our kind of a guy
And ooh what luck
Cause here he is…

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the silver tongue, prince of the
courtroom, the one and only… Billy Flynn!

[Billy Flynn, girls]

I don’t care about expensive things
Cashmere coats, or diamond rings
Don’t mean a thing
All I care about is love
That’s what I’m here for
I don’t care for wearin’ silk cravats
Ruby studs, satin spats
Don’t mean a thing
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love
Give me two
Eyes of blue
Softly saying
I need you
Let me see her standin’ there
And honest, mister, I’m a millionaire
I don’t care for any fine attire
Vanderbilt might admire
No, no, not me
– All I care about is love…
– All he cares about is love

[Girls]
That’s what he’s here for
[Billy Flynn, girls]
All he cares about is love
Show me long Raven hair
Flowin’ down, about to there
When I ‘ve seen
Her runnin’ free
Keep your money, that’s enough for me
I don’t care for drivin’ Packard cars
Or smoking Long Buck Cigars
No, no, not me
All I care about is
Doin’ the guy in
Who’s pickin, on you
Twistin’ the wrist
That’s turnin’ the screw
All I care about
is love!

(Black out. The lights go light blue. They are pointing at the left side of the stage. There
is Billy Flynn’s office)
Billy Flynn: Hello, Andy.
Amos Hart: Amos, my name is Amos.
Billy Flynn: That’s right. Take a seat. You know, you’re a remarkable man. Your wife
used you twice and you’re sticking by her. Actually you’re a hero in my eyes.
Amos Hart: That’s right. I’m a hero.
Billy Flynn: Did you bring the rest of the five thousand dollars?
Amos Hart: Plus this 300 I borrow from the guy down at the garage, and the 700 from
the building in Long Fund.
Billy Flynn: That’s $2,000.
Amos Hart: And that’s all I got so far. But I’d give you $20 of my salary every week. I’d
give you a note with interest. Double, triple, until every cent is paid, I promise.
Billy Flynn: You are a liar. You came to me yesterday. I didn’t ask you if she’s guilty. I
didn’t ask if she’s innocent. I didn’t ask you if she’s drunk, or a dope, no! All I said
was, do you have $5,000? You said yes! But you don’t have $5,000! So I figure you’re a
dirty liar and I don’t waste my time with dirty liars.
Amos Hart: Look… I’m really sorry, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: On the other hand, your devotion to your wife is really very touching. I’ll take
your wife’s case. And I’ll keep it. Because I play square. Now look, I don’t like to blow
my own horn. But believe me. If Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today and if he had
$5,000 and he came to me, things would have turn out differently. All right, this is what
we gonna do. For tomorrow morning, I’m gonna have Roxie’s name at the front page of
every newspapers in town. Sweetest little Jazz killer in Chicago. That’s the angle I’m
after. You make an announcement, we’re gonna have an auction. Tell them we gotta
raise some money for the defense. They’ll buy everything that she touches. Everything.
Her shoes, her dresses, her perfumes, her underwear.
Amos Hart: Underwear?

Billy Flynn: Yeah, so then we can make the rest of the five thousand dollars. I would
say, I will give you the 20% of everything we make over that. That’s what I call play
square!

Amos Hart: I don’t know Mister Flynn.

Billy Flynn: I would say that you don’t have any choice; at least you give me the rest of
the five thousand dollars.

(Black out)

SCENE 7

(The lights point at the middle of the stage. There is Roxie in a chair talking with Billy
Flynn)
Billy Flynn: Ok, Roxie, in a few minutes it’s gonna be a big press conference here.
There will be a big bunch of photographers and reporters. I don’t figure why we would
have any problem with them. So first thing we gotta do is work up some sympathy
from the press. And I’ll push you like some Mary Sunshine. Chicago is a tough town. It’s
getting so tough, that they shoot the girls right after their audience. (He laughs) But,
there’s one thing they can’t resist. And that is a reformed sinner. So I decided to rewrite
the story of your life. From Convent to jail.
Roxie Hart: What?

Billy Flynn: Follow me. Who do you wanted to be? A nun.

Roxie Hart: A nun?

Billy Flynn: When were you born?
Roxie Hart: On a chicken farm outside Lopac.
Billy Flynn: Beautiful setting home, feel every luxury in refinement. Where’re your
parents now?
Roxie Hart: Probably on front porch in their rocking chair
Billy Flynn: They’re dead. Family fortune swept away. You’re educated as a sacred
heart. Then you fell into a runaway marriage. Left you miserable, alone, unhappy.
Of course you got all swept up in a mad world, the city. Jazz,
cabarets, liquors.You’re drawn like a moth to the flame.
Roxie Hart: A moth?
Billy Flynn: Now I am the man who will assist you and you’re a butterfly. Crushed on a
wheel!
Roxie Hart: Wait, what did you say? Is it the moth or the butterfly?
Billy Flynn: You have sin in your soul and you are sorry.
Roxie Hart: God, that’s beautiful.

Billy Flynn: So, when they ask you why you killed him. The only thing you can
remember is that he threatened to kill you, you can still see him coming with his awful
look in his eyes and, get this, you both reached for the gun, that’s your ground.  (The
press appears on the stage)
Billy Flynn: Thank you, gentlemen. Miss Sunshine. My client just entered pleads of not
guilty. We look forward to the trial in the earliest possible dates. Now is there any
question? Miss Sunshine.
Mary Sunshine: As you know, my paper is dry. Do you have any advice for young girls,
speaking to avoid the life of Jazz and drink?
Billy Flynn: Absolutely yes. Mrs. Hart feels that it was the tragic combination of liquor
and Jazz, which lead to the downfall. Next question, please.
Roxie Hart: Ladies and gentlemen, I’d just like to say how flattered I am that you
all came to see me. You see, I was a moth… crushed on a wheel. You know, butterfly
drawn to the… I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard.
Billy Flynn: Shut up, dummy.
Announcer: Mr. Billy Flynn in the press conference. Notice how mouth never moves…
almost.
(We both reach for the gun’s performance sung and danced by Billy, Roxie, Miss
Sunshine and ensemble)
[Reporter]
Where’d you come from?
[Billy Flynn]
Mississippi
[Reporter]
And your parents?
[Billy Flynn]
Very wealthy.
[Reporter]
Where are they now?
[Billy Flynn]
Six feet under.
But she was granted one more start
The convent of The Sacred Heart!
[Reporter]
When’d you get here?
Billy Flynn]
1920
[Reporter]
How old were you?
[Billy Flynn]
Don’t remember
[Reporter]
Then what happened?
[Billy Flynn]
I met Amos
And he stole my heart away
Convinced me to elope one day
[Mary Sunshine]
Oh, poor girl, I can’t believe what you’ve been through. A convent girl, a
runaway marriage. Now tell us Roxie.
Who’s Fred Casely?
[Billy Flynn]
My ex-boyfriend.
[Reporter]
Why’d you shoot him?
[Billy Flynn]
I was leavin’.
[Reporter]
Was he angry?
[Billy Flynn]
Like a madman
Still I said, Fred, move along.
She knew that she was doin’ wrong.
[Reporter]
Then describe it.
[Billy Flynn]
He came toward me.
[Reporter]
With a pistol?
[Billy Flynn]
From my bureau.
[Reporter]
Did you fight him?
[Billy Flynn]
Like a tiger.
He had strength and she had none.
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
[All]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
for the gun.
[Billy Flynn]
understandable. understandable
Yes, it’s perfectly understandable
Comprehensible. Comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It’s so defensible!
[Reporter]
How’re you feeling?
[Billy Flynn]
Very frightened
[Mary Sunshine]
Are you sorry?
[Roxie Hart]
Are you kidding?
[Reporter]
What’s your statement?
[Billy Flynn]
All I’d say is
Though my choo-choo jumped the track
I’d give my life to bring him back
[Reporters]
And?
[Billy Flynn]
Stay away from
[Reporters]
What?
[Billy Flynn]
Jazz and liquor

[Reporters]
And?
[Billy Flynn]
And the men who
[Reporters]
What?
[Billy Flynn]
Play for fun
[Reporters]
And what?
[Billy Flynn]
That’s the thought that
[Reporters]
Yeah
[Billy Flynn]
Came upon me
[Reporters]
When?
[Billy Flynn]
When we both reached for the gun!
[Billy Flynn and Mary Sunshine]
Understandable, understandable
Yes, it’s perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It’s so defensible!
[Reporters]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
[Billy Flynn]
Let me hear it!
[Reporters]
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
For the gun
[Billy Flinn]
A little louder!
[Reporters]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
– Oh, yeah
For the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes. They both reached
For the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
[Billy Flynn]
Both reached for the…gun
(Black out)

SCENE 8

(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. There are two
reporters and Miss Sunshine announcing the news to the audience)
Reporter 1: The windy city has taken a new criminal to a charge. Let me remind you
the name is Roxie Hart.

Reporter 2: The sweetest lady ever accused of murder in Chicago. Women want to look
like her. Fellows want to go out with her. Some little girls even want to take her home.
Don’t get any idea, little lady.

Miss Sunshine: At the scene of the crime, everybody wants a little piece of Roxie Hart.
The jar would send her husband back 20 dollars! It seems everybody these days is
looking for Roxie Hart. (They go away. Mama´s desk, in the middle of the stage, Mama
and Roxie with a bouquet)
Mama Morton: So, kiddo, you have any thought what you wanna do after Billy get you
off?
Roxie Hart: Yeah, I think I’d like to go on stage.
Mama Morton: I figure it as much. I already called the Morris office.
Roxie Hart: Really? How much is that gonna cost me?
Mama Morton: It’s a fairly deal. 10% of all your takings.
Roxie Hart: Yeah, we’ll see, Mama. Besides, I don’t even have an act yet.
Mama Morton: Killing Fred Casely was your act. That solo steps in the audience. That
song is my favorite.
Roxie Hart: It’s a freak act. Besides, I’m better than that.
Mama Morton: Of course you are. I mean, you can be as big as Sophie Tago. Just think
about that.

(Mama goes away and Roxie goes to proscenium and starts to talk with the audience.
The music sounds lower).
Roxie Hart: You know, I always wanted to have my name on the papers. Before I met
Amos, I used to date this wealthy dude, ugly bootlegger. He used to take me out
and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. Once it said in the paper, gangland is seen
with cute blonde. That was me. You know, all my life I wanted to have my own act.
But, no…, they always turned me down. One big world-full of no. And then Amos came
along. Save sweet Amos. Who never says no. I’ve never done this before. But it’s such
a special night. And you are such a great audience! And I really feel like I can talk to
you, you know? So forget what you read in the papers and on the radio. Because…
because I’m gonna tell you the truth. In the bed apartment, Amos was… zero. I mean,
when he made love to me, it goes like… he was fixing a carburetor or something. I love
you, honey… Anyway, I start to fool around. And I start screwing around. Then I met
Fred Casely. He said he could get me into a film. But that didn’t quite work out like I
planned. So I gave up the whole idea. If you can’t figure out all of these, opportunities
just pass you by. But now, with all these publicity, I got me a world full of yes!

(Roxie’s performance sung and danced by Roxie and the male ensemble) 

The name on everybody’s lips
Is gonna be
Roxie
The lady rakin’ in the chips
Is gonna be
Roxie
I’m gonna be a celebrity
That means somebody everyone knows
They’re gonna recognize my eyes
My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose
From just some dumb mechanic’s wife
I’m gonna be
Roxie
Who says that murders not an art?
And who in case she doesn’t hang
can say she started with a bang?
Roxie Hart!

Boys
[Roxie Hart and company]
They’re gonna wait outside in line
To get to see
Roxie
Think of those autographs I’ll sign
Good luck to you,
Roxie
And I’ll appear in Lavaliere
That goes all the way down to my waist
Here a ring, there a ring
Everywhere a ring a ling
But always in the best of taste

[Roxie Hart (recitative whisper)]

Oooh I’m a star.
And the audience loves me.
And I love the audience and they love me
for loving them. And I love them for loving me.
And we jus to love each other.
That’s because none of us got any love in our childhood.
And that’s show biz,

Kid.

[Roxie Hart and comapny]

She’s giving up here humdrum life
I’m gonna be
Roxie.
She made a scandal and a start.
And Sophie Tucker will shit, I know
To see her name get billed below
Roxie Hart!
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy

Roxie: (To the audience) Those are my boys

 
(Black out)

SCENE 9

(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage. Mama is with the murderesses,
everyone is reading the newspaper)

Mona: Look at this mama! The newspaper says ‘Roxie Rock’s Chicago’.

Annie: Yeah? This one also says Roxie’s night is registered in two hundred bucks.

(Velma appears on stage)

Velma Kelly: I just can’t take it anymore. Mama I’m not a jealous person.

June: No, sure you are not.

Velma Kelly: Oh shut up! The thing is that I can’t go anywhere without hearing about
that dumb tomato and not be nervous.
Mama Morton: I’ve got some bad news, kid. Tell her (To the murderesses)

Everyone: The tour has been cancelled.

Velma Kelly: What?
Liz: Your name is out of the paper too long.

Mama Morton: What we read about today it’s the Hart kid.

Annie: She’s hot. (Everyone looks at her) What? She is.

Velma Kelly: And what am I supposed to do? Suck up to her like everybody else?
Mama Morton: It couldn’t hurt. Come on Ladies. You have to come back to the cell.
(The murderesses and Mama go away. Velma stays alone until Roxie comes alone).
Velma Kelly: Hey Miss Roxie, do you know what I realized today?

Roxie Hart: I have no idea and I really don’t care Miss Kelly. (She continues walking)
Velma Kelly: But… (She holds Roxie) Let me tell you, you’re exactly same size as my
sister. I mean, you fit into her costumes perfectly.
Roxie Hart: (Ironic) Really?
Velma Kelly: Yeah, and I’m just thinking, you know, with all the publicity piled up
between us when Billy gets us off, it would be natural to do an act together.
Roxie Hart: You think so?
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly in Act of Desperation.

(I can’t do it alone’s performance, danced and sung by Velma Kelly)

My sister and I had an act that couldn’t flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, yeah!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know it’s sad, of course
But a fact
is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect
double
act!
Watch this.
They have to match it with 2 people.
It’s just all two people.
First I’d…
Then she’d…
Then we’d…
But I can’t do it alone!
Then she’d…
Then I’d…
Then we’…
But I can’t do it alone!
She’d say, ‘What’s your sister like?’
I’d say, ‘Men,’
She’d say, ‘you’re the cat’s meow’
Then we’d wow the crowd again
When she’d go…
I’d go…
We’d go…
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more.
And we’d say, ‘O.K. fellas, keep your socks up.’
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!’
But I simply cannot do it
alone!

Velma Kelly: So what do you think?

Roxie: Oh, I can’t say.

Velma Kelly: Come on, you can say.

Roxie Hart: Pfrrrrrr!!!
Velma Kelly: I know you’re right. The first part is shit. But the second part…Second part
is really nifty.

(The song continues)

Then she’d…(See, get it, right?)
Then I’d…(Then I kick really high…)
Then we’d…
But I can’t do it alone!
She’d say, ‘What state’s Chicago in?’
I’d say, ‘ILL!’
Did ya get that?
She’d say, ‘turn your motor off!’
I can hear ‘em cheerin’ still
Ok, When she’d go…
I’d go…
We’d go…
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
And we’d say. ‘Okay, boys…
we’re goin’ home, but before we go here’s a few more partin’ shots!’
And this…
this we did in perfect unison.
Now, you’ve seen me goin’ through it
It may seem there’s nothin’ to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone! (The song finishes)

Roxie Hart: Don’t bother. You think you’re fooling me? You’re all washed up. And it’s me
they want now, and I’m a big star. Single. It’s nothing personal. Oh, I almost forgot.
You’re in the paper today too. On the back. (She goes away)
Velma: Sure… nothing personal. (The band plays the reprise while Velma sings it)

Like the deserted bride on her wedding night

All alone and shaking with fright
With her brand new hubby nowhere in sight…
I simply cannot do it alone…

(Black out)

SCENE 10

(The lights are purple. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the County Jail.
At midnight)
Announcer: And now, for all you Chicago’s stay-up-laters. Night hours would only come
alive at the dark. We dedicate this tune. Chicago After Midnight. (The band plays a very
sweet melody. Mama Morton appears)

Mama Morton: (To the audience) They’d just arrest this woman ‘Miss Baxter’ for triple
homicide. Get this. She’s an Aries! And her family is in the pineapple or grapefruit, some
kind of fruits.
(Miss Baxter, a new murderess, appears in the middle of the stage)
Miss Baxter: On the north side, I met Harry. (To the audience) What Harry does for a
living, no one’s quite sure. But it doesn’t really matter because I’m paying all the bills.
Anyhow, I, the Kitty got home that night. Harry was already at bed. I went to change my
clothes. When I returned, I noticed something rather odd, extremely odd. There
were other women in the apartment. I disappeared for a second. When I returned, I
gently woke up Harry. Harry says, ”What? I’m alone!”. ”Alone?” I said, ” You have two
other women in bed with you!’. And Harry said, ”Come on, darling, you gonna believe
what you see or what I tell you?” and I replied ‘What I see’. (She does the mimic as if
she had a gun and the drums make the sound of three shotguns. Black out)

SCENE 11
(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. Is the County Jail.
There is Billy with Miss Baxter surrounded by reporters, Miss Sunshine and Mama) 
Mary Sunshine: Miss Baxter, Miss Baxter! Mary Sunshine from The Evening Star.
Would you mind saying a word or two?
Miss Baxter: Sure I’ll say things. Go to hell!
Billy Flynn: Please direct your question to the counsel.
Miss Baxter: Tell the counsel I want my money back!
Mary Sunshine: Are you sorry, dear?
Miss Baxter: Yeah, I’m sorry that I got caught.

Reporter: Miss Baxter, did you know these two ladies personally?
Miss Baxter: Did I know these two ladies personally? Was that your question?
Reporter: Yeah, that’s my… (Miss Baxter kicks the reporter)
Mama Morton: She’s very hot spirit, isn’t she? Miss Baxter… (From the right side of the
stage appear Roxie and Velma)
Roxie Hart: Hey, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Yeah, hi, Tracy.
Roxie Hart: It’s Roxie.
Billy Flynn: Yeah, sure, I’m just kidding.
Roxie Hart: Did you get my trial date yet? I’m on top of your list, right?
Miss Baxter: (To the press) Go to hell!
Billy Flynn: What a nightmare, huh? And social-like too. Her mother owns all the
pineapples in Hawaii. All right… That’s all for the questions. And l’ll be happy to get
back to you myself.
Roxie Hart: Billy…
Velma Kelly: How does it feel, kid? Pretty soon we couldn’t find your name in the
papers.
Roxie Hart: Mr. Flynn? (She passes out)

Mary Sunshine: Oh, my god. Roxie! What is it to you?

Roxie Hart: Oh, no. Don’t worry about me. I only hope the fall didn’t hurt the baby.
Everyone: Baby?
Velma Kelly: Shit!
Billy Flynn: Well, we’ll need a doctor to swear that statement in court.
Roxie Hart: I would just like to say (to the reporters) that my own life doesn’t matter now.
It’s just that of my unborn child.

(Me and My baby’s performance sung and danced by Roxie and the ensemble)

Roxie:
Me and my baby
My baby and me
We’re ‘bout as happy
As babies can be
What if I find
That I’m caught in a storm?
I don’t care
My baby’s there
And baby’s bound to keep me warm
We’re sticking together
And ain’t we got fun
So much together
You’d count us as one
Tell old man, worry, to go climb a tree
‘Cause I’ve got my baby
My sweet little baby
Look at my baby and me
(The song starts to lower down. And Mary Sunshine, then Billy and then Amos appear)

Mary Sunshine: I don’t see how you could possibly delay the trial another second, Mr.
Flynn. My readers wouldn’t stand for it. The poor child! To have her baby born in a jail!
Billy: I can assure you she’ll come to trial at the earliest possible moment. And you can
quote me on that.
Amos: Hey, everybody. I’m the father! I’m the father! Roxie, honey! It’s me, it’s daddy!
Roxie.
(The songs continues)

All:
Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

Roxie:
Look at my baby
My baby and me
A dream of a duo
Now, don’t you agree?
Why keep it mum
When there’s nothing to hide?
And what I feel
I must reveal
Is more than I can keep inside
Let me assure you
It won’t go away
I can assure you
It grows every day
I was a one once
But now I’m a ‘we’
‘Cause I got my baby
My dear little baby
Look at my baby and me
(The song starts to be lower. Mama, then Billy and then Amos appear).

Mama Matron: I think it’s sweet. First time we ever had one of our girls knocked up.
Billy: I’ve got it and it’s brilliant. I’m gonna get Amos to divorce you. That way all the
sympathy will go to you – not him. You’ll be the poor, little deserted mother-to-be and
that crumb is running out on you.
Amos: That’s my kid! That’s my kid!

(The song continues)

Roxie and Boys:
Looka my baby
My baby and me
Facing the world
Optimistically
Nothing can stop us
So nobody try
‘Cause baby’s rough
And full of stuff
And incidentally, so am I!
(Baby dance break.)
Get out of our way, folks
And give us some room
Watch how we bubble
And blossom and bloom
Life was a prison
But we got the key
Me and my baby
My dear little baby
My cute little baby
My sweet little baby
My fat little baby
My soft little baby
My pink little baby
My bald little baby
Looka, my baby and me

(Everyone goes away and Amos stay alone in the middle of the stage)

SCENE 12

(The lights continue like the last scene. There is just Amos on stage)

 
Amos: I’m the father! Papa! Dada! Did you hear me? Did you? (To the band) No, you
didn’t hear me. (To the audience) That’s the story of my life. Nobody ever knows I’m
around. Nobody. Not even my parents noticed me. One day I went to school and when I
came home, they moved.

(Mister cellophane’s performance. Sung and danced by Amos and ensemble)

If someone stood up in a crowd

And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You’d notice him
If someone in the movie show
Yelled ‘Fire in the second row’
This whole place is a powder keg!
You’d notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
‘Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there…
I tell you
Cellophane
Mister
Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister
Cellophane
‘Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there…
(The music lowers down. Billy appears from the right side)

Billy Flynn: Oh, l didn’t see you. Look, Andy.

Amos Hart: Amos, my name is Amos.
Billy Flynn: Who says it wasn’t? It was the kid’s name I was thinking about. You know
when she is due? September. You’d pass out those cigars anyway. I don’t want you to
give a damn on the people.
Amos Hart: People what?
Billy Flynn: Laugh.
Amos Hart: Laugh? Why would they laugh?
Billy Flynn: They can count. September. In the first copy of Roxie’s statement from D.A.
office she said she hasn’t copulated with you for four months prior the incidents.
Amos Hart: She would know. Yeah, I guess we’ve done no copulating since… Wait a
minute. That doesn’t figure out right. I couldn’t be the father.
Billy Flynn: Well, forget about that. My client needs your support.
Amos Hart: You mean she needs a meal ticket? That’s all I’ve ever been. This time
she’s gone too far.
Billy Flynn: What you gonna do? Divorce her?
Amos Hart: You’re damn right! I’ll divorce her! She probably won’t even notice.
Billy Flynn: Yeah. I’m sorry.

(The song continues)

[Amos Hart]
A human being’s made of more than air
With all that bulk, you’re bound to see him there
Unless that human bein’ next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You
Know
who…
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
‘Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there…
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
‘Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there
Never even know I’m there.

Amos Hart: (To the audience) I hope I didn’t take up too much of your time.

(Black out)

SCENE 13
 

(The lights are purple. It is the Count Jail. There is Billy with Roxie)

Billy Flynn: I’ve been waiting for you 10 minutes. Don’t do that again. So, I get Amos
finally firm for the divorce and now I can get him on the stand admitting that he has
done a terrible mistake and that he still loves you. And of course, you still love him. And
now the jury will fall in love all over themselves and they will play cupid to make you
back together again. Smart, huh? And when Amos is on the stand, I want you to do
knitting. A baby garment.
Roxie Hart: Knitting? For Christ’s sake, I don’t know how to knit!
Billy Flynn: Then learn.
Roxie Hart: I’m sick of everybody telling me what to do. And you treat me like some
dump, common criminal.
Billy Flynn: But you’re some dump, common criminal.
Roxie Hart: Well, it’s better than be a greasy-mite lawyer.
Billy Flynn: Who is up to be saving your ass or maybe you’d like to appeal on court
without me.
Roxie Hart: Maybe I could. Have you read the morning papers? They love me.
Billy Flynn: There might be a lot more when you hang. You know why? Because it sells
more papers.
Roxie Hart: You’re fired.
Billy Flynn: I quit.
Roxie Hart: Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
Billy Flynn: You’re a phony celebrity. You’re a flash. In a couple of weeks, no one
would give a shit about you. That’s Chicago.

(Black out)

SCENE 14

(The lights are red. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the County Jail.
There are all the murderesses and Mama. Some officers are taking Hunyak from her
arms, she is going to be executed)
Hunyak: (Screams to everyone) No! Not guilty! (Mama kisses her on the forehead)
Roxie Hart: What happened?
Mona: It’s Hunyak. She lost the last appeal.
Roxie Hart: So what does that mean?
Velma Kelly: What that means? Next week, she’s gonna be executed.
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your entertainment,
we
proudly present Katelin Helinsky and her famous Hungarian Disappearing Act. (The
drums start to sound and Hunyak makes the Death’s dance until she falls dead on the
floor. Then the officers take her by her arms and cover her with a red blanket)

Mary Sunshine: This is Mary Sunshine, coming to you from the Cooke County Jail,
where history has been made today. Katelin Helinsky became the first woman in the
state of Illinois to be executed. Her last words were ‘¡Not Guilty!’.

(Black out)

SCENE 15

(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage where Roxie and
Billy are)

Roxie Hart: I’m sorry Billy. I will do whatever you say.

Billy Flynn: You’re clear with everything you have to do on the stand?
Roxie Hart: Yes. I’ve been up all night rehearsing.
Billy Flynn: What do you do when Harrison comes after you?
Roxie Hart: I sit still and look straight ahead. Never look the jury and look modest.
Billy Flynn: And say nothing. That was the deal. You ask me back, I do all the talking
and stuff.
Roxie Hart: Absolutely, Billy.

Billy Flynn: Good. Are you ready?

Roxie Hart: Yeah. Billy…I’m scared.
Billy Flynn: Don’t be. I’ve been around a long time. Believe me, you’ve got nothing to
worry about. It’s all a circus. A three-ring circus. The trial, the whole world… it’s all show
business. Kid, you are working with a star.

(Razzle Dazzle’s performance sung and danced by Billy and the ensemble)

Give ‘em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Give ‘em act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give ‘em the old hocus pocus
Bread and feather ‘em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting ?
Razzle dazzle ‘em
And they’ll never catch wise!
Eh Eh Eh Eh
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Give ‘em the old razzle dazzle
Billy and Company:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Give ‘em a show that’s so splendiferous
Billy:
Row after row will grow vociferous
Billy and Company:
Give ‘em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture ‘em
Billy:
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Billy and Company:
Throw ‘em a fake and a finagle
They’ll never know you’re just a bagel,
Billy:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
And they’ll beg you for more!
Billy and Company:
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Give ‘em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler
Give ‘em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger ‘em
When you’re in trouble, go into your dance
Though you are stiffer than a girder
They let ya get away with a murder
Razzle dazzle ‘em
And you’ve got a romance
Give ‘em the old
Razzle dazzle
Billy:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Give ‘em an act that’s unassailable
They’ll wait a year ‘til your available!
Billy and Company:
Give ‘em the old
Double whammy
Billy:
Daze and dizzy ‘em
Show ‘em the first rate sorcerer you are
Billy and Company:
Long as you keep ‘em way off balance
How can they spot you got no talents?
Billy:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Company:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Billy:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Billy and Company:
And they’ll make you a star!

(Black out)

SCENE 16

(The lights are light blue. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. This is the
courtroom. There is The Judge sitting in the middle, at the left side there is Billy,
Harrison and Miss Sunshine, at the right side there is Roxie and Amos. Behind them we
can see all the jury)

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman… we present Justice.

The judge: State of Illinois presents Miss Roxie Hart for the Murder of Fred Cassely.

The Jury: The state call Mister Amos Hart

Billy Flynn: Hello, Amos.

Amos Hart: (Surprised) Amos? That’s right, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Amos, when did you file sue for divorce?
Amos Hart: A month ago.
Billy Flynn: Was there any reason for filing at this particular time?
Amos Hart: I’d say, the newspapers said Roxie was expecting a little stranger.
Billy Flynn: That’s hardly a cause for divorce, isn’t it? Don’t tell me, you mean you
doubted the fraternity of the child.
Amos Hart: Most sure.
Billy Flynn: Hey, you tell me, Hart. Since you ever question Roxie herself, did you
even bother to ask her if you were the father of the child?
Amos Hart: No, sir.
Billy Flynn: No. What? If you confirm that you were wrong, you’d be man enough in a
minute. You would take her back if Roxie swore that you’re the father of the child, which
she does.
Amos Hart: She does?
Billy Flynn: She does! No more questions! You can step down now. (To Amos) Well
done, Andy.
Amos Hart: Roxie, I’m so sorry.

Billy Flynn: The defense calls Roxie Hart.

The Jury: Roxie Hart on the stand.

Mary Sunshine: This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. Roxie Hart finally takes the
stand in her own defense. (Everyone claps)
The Judge: Order! Order! Proceed, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Roxie, I have heard a statement that you admitted having illicit relations with
deceased Fred Casely. Is this statement true or false?
Roxie Hart: I’m afraid that’s true.
Billy Flynn: You’re an honest girl, Roxie. When did you first meet Fred Casely?
Roxie Hart: When he sold Amos and me our furniture.
Billy Flynn: In your personal relationship with him, you told the jury when that began.
Roxie Hart: When I permitted him to escort me home one night, I don’t think I would’ve
gone with him if Mr. Hart and me hadn’t quarreled that very morning.
Billy Flynn: Quarrel?  Well, I supposed it’s his fault.
Roxie Hart: Oh, no, sir. It was my fault. I supposed I just couldn’t stop pestering him. I
didn’t like him working those long hours at the garage. I wanted him home with me… to
done his socks and iron his shirts. I wanted a real home. A child.
Billy Flynn: So you drifted into this illicit relationship because you’re unhappy at home.
Roxie Hart: Yes, most unhappy.
Billy Flynn: Roxie Hart! The state has accused you the murder of Fred Casely. Are you
guilty or not?
Roxie Hart: I’m not guilty… I killed him, I did. But I’m not a criminal. (She cries) I’m not
a criminal…
Billy Flynn: Roxie… Did you recall the night of June 14th? Could you tell the jury in your
own words the happening of that night?
Roxie Hart: When Fred came over, I told him good news. That me and Amos are gonna
have a baby. And it was all over between us.
Billy Flynn: What happened then?  Did he threaten you, Roxie?
Martin Harrison: Objection, your honour. Counsel is leading the witness.
The Judge: Sustained.
Billy Flynn: What does Casely say when you told him the news?
Roxie Hart: ‘I’ll kill you before I see you have another man’s child!’ and then, in his
passion, he tore off my robe and he threw me on the bed. And Mr. Hart’s pistol was
lying there between us.
Billy Flynn: And then!
Roxie Hart: And then we both reached for the gun and I got it first. And then he
came towards me with this awful look in his eyes. He was angry and wild!
Billy Flynn: Wild! And did you think that he might kill you? So it was his life or yours?
Roxie Hart: And I choosed mine. I closed my eyes and I shot! (A shot sound) 
Billy Flynn: To defense your life!
Roxie Hart: And to save my husband’s innocent unborn child… (She passes out and the
band plays again the end of Razzle Dazzle while the ensemble and Billy sing that)

Billy and Company:

Razzle dazzle ‘em
Billy:
Razzle dazzle ‘em
Billy and Company:
And they’ll make you a star!

(Black out)

SCENE 17

(The lights are pointing at the right and the left side of the stage. At the left side, there is
Miss Sunshine reporting what is happening at Roxie Hart´s trial and at the right side of
the stage is Mama Morton with all the murderesses including Velma. They are listening
to the radio)

 
Mary Sunshine: Here in the courtroom… Mrs. Hart’s behavior has been truly
extraordinary. Opening her eyes, she fenced herself with her attorney’s handkerchief.
Liz: Handkerchief?
The others: Shh!

Mary Sunshine: Poor child has no relief. She looks around now, seeming to want
something. It’s a glass of water.
Velma Kelly: Oh, Mama, that was my bid! I told Billy I wanted do that at my trial!
Mary Sunshine: But now her eyes flatter wildly and she… Mrs. Hart has fainted again.
She flumps over her chiffon dress up around her knees, revealing a glimpse of blue
garder with Ryan-stone buckle.
Velma Kelly: Oh, Mama, she stole my garder. She stole my garder! (She tries to break
the radio)
Mona: Don’t break the radio!
Velma Kelly: First she steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial date, now
she stole my goddamn garder.
Mama Morton: What do you expect? I mean these days you get a little success and it’s
good rinse for the people who put you here.
Annie: It ain’t  no justice in the world. There’s nothing you can do about it.

(Black out)

SCENE 18

(The lights are blue, they are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the Courtroom
again. There is Miss Sunshine, The judge, The jury, Harrison, Billy and Roxie)

Mary Sunshine: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mary Sunshine reporting live from the
Cooke County Courthouse. The city of Chicago has come to a complete stand still. As
the trial of century finally draws to a close. Mrs. Hart sits quietly at the defense table,
hands folded. What fate has installed for her? There’s a hassle over the courtroom as
the 12 men of the jury come back slowly to their seats.
The Judge: Gentlemen of jury, have you reached a verdict?
The Jury: We have your honor.
The judge: The defendant please rise. What is your verdict?
The Jury: We, the jury, find the defendant… innocent!  (Everyone hears some shotguns
from outside; one reporter comes to the courtroom and announces what is happening)
Reporter: Come on! Move it! You have to see what’s going on out there. A woman just
shoot her husband and his mother. It’s awful, it’s terrible. But… what a story.
(Everyone goes away, except Roxie and Billy)

Roxie Hart: Hey, don’t you wanna take my picture? Hey, I’m the famous Roxie Hart.
Hey, what happened? What the hell happened?
Billy Flynn: It’s Chicago, kid. You were found not guilty, that was what happened.
Roxie Hart: What about my publicity, Billy? My name on the papers. I was counting on
that. You got $5,000. What do I get? I get nothing.
Billy Flynn: You’re a free woman, Roxie Hart. And God save lllinois. My exit music
please… (The Band plays the end of the song All I care about is Love and just Billy
Flynn sings it)

[Billy Flynn]
And All I care about is love!
(He goes away from the stage and lights Black out)
SCENE 19

(The lights are orange, they are pointing at the middle of the stage, where Roxie is after
the trial. Amos appears from behind).

Amos Hart: Roxie.

Roxie Hart: What do you want?
Amos Hart: I want you to come home. You said you still wanted to… and the baby…
Roxie Hart: Baby, what baby? Oh, Jesus. What do you take me for? There ain’t no
baby.
Amos Hart: There ain’t no baby?
Roxie Hart: They didn’t even want my picture. I just can’t understand that. What didn’t
they even want my picture?

Amos Hart: My exit music, please… (Nothing sounds) Okay… (He goes away)

Roxie Hart: All gone… All gone.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Roxie Hart says Good Night.

 
(Nowadays’ performance, just sung by Roxie Hart)

It’s good,
Isn’t it, grand?
Isn’t it, great?
Isn’t it, swell?
Isn’t it, fun?
Isn’t it?
Nowadays
There’s man,
Everywhere jazz,
Everywhere booze,
Everywhere life,
Everywhere joy,
Everywhere
Nowadays
You can like the life you’re living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that’s
Good,
Isn’t it, grand?
Isn’t it, great?
Isn’t it, swell?
(The music starts to sound lower until it disappears. Velma appears form the right side
of the stage).

Velma Kelly: You know you’re really pretty good.

Roxie Hart: and you really are something. Coming in here like some goddamn queen
bee, full of advice for a poor slop like me. Let me tell you something, Miss Velma Kelly. I
got a new life now. And one of the best things about it is it don’t include you.
Velma Kelly: Listen to me. I talked to this guy in downtown. He says one chance
hurts nothing these days, but two… We can make a couple hundred a week. Think
about it, Roxie. Faces back on the papers and names in the market. Velma Kelly
and Roxie Hart.
Roxie Hart: Should it be alphabetical?
Velma Kelly: That could work.

(Black out)

 
SCENE 20 (FINAL SCENE)

(Silver curtains fall down from above. The lights point at the middle of the stage)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago theatre is proud to announce the first
time anywhere that’s been an act throughout this nation. Not only one little lady, but two.
You read about them in the papers, and now here they are. Chicago zone killer-dealers,
the lady-sinners, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!

(Nowadays’ performance. Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly sing and Dance alone)
[Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly]
You can like the life you’re living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that’s
Good, isn’t it?
Grand, isn’t it?
Great, isn’t it?
Swell, isn’t it?
Fun, isn’t it?
But nothing stays
In fifty years or so
It’s gonna change, you know
But, oh, it’s heaven
Nowadays
And that’s
Good, isn’t it?
Grand, isn’t it?
Great, isn’t it?
Swell, isn’t it?
Fun, isn’t it?
But nothing stays

Announcer: Okay, you babes of Jazz, let’s kick up the bass. Let’s make the party
longer, let’s make the skirt shorter. Let’s all go to the heaven that makes all the people
hot!
(The Band plays Hot Honey Rag and Velma and Roxie dance)
Velma Kelly: Thank you. Roxie and I would just like to thank you – for you faith and your
belief in our innocence.
Roxie Hart: Thank you! Believe us, we could’ve never done anything without you!

 
(The curtains are drawn. The Band plays the Finale and all the students sing and dance
the last part of All That Jazz)

Everyone:
And all
That
Jazz!
That Jazz!

Final Greeting
THE END