Workplace relations: friendship patterns and

consequences (according to managers).

(Statistical Data Included)

New ideas are routinely proposed about what "bureaucracies" should be (Considine and Lewis
1999; Bruce and Novinson 1999; Comeau-Kirschner and Wah 1999; Hesselbein 1997). One such
notion is that organizations should condone or even promote workplace friendship. Workplace
friendships involve mutual commitment, trust, and shared values or interests between people at
work, in ways that go beyond mere acquaintanceship but that exclude romance. These relations
involve heightened norms of openness, informality, and inclusiveness, which increasingly are part
of modern management strategies (such as notions of teamwork) and are also shared by most recent
job entrants (Guy and Newman 1998; Tulgan 1995; Jurckiewicz and Brown 1998). Workplace
friendship is said to reduce workplace stress, increase communication, help employees and
managers accomplish their tasks, and assist in the process of accepting organizational change.
Despite possible adverse consequences that may also occur (workplace friendship resulting in
conflict-of-interest or harassment allegations, for instance), successful managers frequently develop
friendships with others in their own organizations. While some employees and managers choose not
to have such relationships, those who do often find that it makes both good and bad jobs better
(Shadur and Kienzle 1999; Kets de Vries and Balazs 1999; Lu 1999; Van Wart and Berman 1999).

This article examines the notion of workplace friendship and reports on a survey of senior managers
in U.S. cities with populations over 50,000 about their views on workplace friendship. Do these top
managers promote, condone, or discourage workplace friendship? What risks and benefits of
workplace friendship do they perceive? What policies and strategies do managers use to promote or
discourage friendship in their organizations, and with what consequences? The views of these
managers are important because their policies and examples affect the climate for friendship and
other relationships in their organizations.

This study has some limitations. It does not observe actual workplace relations, but only the
perceptions of managers. Neither does it examine the views of respondent groups other than
managers, which might also be of interest. Further, this study only examines attitudes of managers
toward workplace friendship in general, acknowledging that workplace friendships have different
features in different situations. Evidence is presented that managerial orientations in favor of
friendship are widespread and that they are associated with important organizational rewards.

Risks and Rewards of Workplace Friendship

Workplace friendship, obviously, is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon. Workplace friendships

vary--they are as unique as the people that are involved--yet share some common features.
Workplace friendships are defined as nonexclusive workplace relations that involve mutual trust,
commitment, reciprocal liking and shared interests or values (see also Dobel 1999, 2001; Ambrose
1999; Blieszner and Adams 1992; Hallowell 1999). Workplace friendship involves more than
people merely acting in friendly ways or being mutual acquaintances: (1) There must be trust,
liking, and shared interests or values, too. Workplace friendships are sometimes limited to certain
spheres of work or work-related leisure (such as having a "lunch" friend). Workplace friends
usually are able to articulate what they like about another person or what they enjoy doing together
("What I like most about [working with] you is that ..."), even though the relationship includes
instrumental considerations as well ("I like you, and I need you, too"). Friendships vary in intensity
("We like each other a lot/little"), thrive on generosity and symmetry of contribution ("We find nice
things to do for each other"), and have manifest and latent functions ("Just knowing that someone
cares is a source of support"). While workplace friendship is decidedly different from
acquaintanceship, it is also different from romance in two important ways: Romance involves a
relationship between two individuals from which others ordinarily are excluded, and romance is
also more intense than friendship (involving, for example, passionate affection or enduring
commitments. See Adams and Allan 1998; Werking 1997).

Classical "ideals" of friendship often presuppose enduring relations among equals (Konstan 1997).
(2) This notion has had a lasting impact from the ancient world through the present. However,
workplace friendships often transcend this consideration (Jurckiewicz and Brown 1998; Fehr 1996;
Holladay and Kerns 1999). They are fleeting when solely based on work-related interests, such as a
project or shared location; when these factors cease, so, too, do the friendships, unless the actors
develop new common grounds. Workplace friendships often involve relations between people of
unequal age, status, or gender, thereby transcending traditional notions of friendship. For example,
friendships between supervisors and subordinates are frequently mentioned (Cole 1993; Valerius
1998; Boyd and Taylor 1998), as are friendships between younger and older workers, including
mentor/ protege relations (Crampton and Mishra 1999; Matheson 1999; Ibarra 1993; Simonetti and
Ariss 1999; Mehra, Kilduff, and Brass 1998). Workplace friendships are increasingly common
between men and women, too (Eyler and Baridon 1992; Grove 1991; Lobel et al. 1994; Powers
1998). This study's definition allows for a broad range of specific friendship relationships.

Many potential benefits can be derived from workplace friendships, both for individuals and for
organizations. The benefits of workplace friendship further "social" system models of organizations
that emphasize formal and informal, horizontal and vertical interactions with open styles of
communication and fluid task structures for accomplishment (Argyris 1996; Simon 1977; Gouldner
1959; Bums and Stalker 1961). Specifically, workplace friendship increases support and resources
that help individuals to get their jobs done. Through friendship, individuals obtain support from
others; managers find allies, instill loyalty, and stand up for people who support them (Ingraham,
Thompson, and Sanders 1998; Shalala 1998; Palmer 1998; Terry 1993). The support that people
need cannot be obtained merely by focusing on narrow, material self-interests ("I'll support you
because your project benefits me") or even relatively broader material self-interests ("I'll help you
with your work if you help me with mine"). This is because both outcomes and future opportunities
to reciprocate are often uncertain. Instead, support needs to be based on other appeals, such as
shared values ("we both want to make this a more diverse organization") or shared experiences ("we
have been through so much together, can I ask for your support once more?"), as well as shared
perceptions of trust, which are found in friendship. Workplace friendship increases support and
information that helps individuals do their jobs, in turn, reducing stress (for instance, by eliminating
barriers to success) and improving the quality of work. While these outcomes are not unique to
friendship, workplace friendship does further them. Organizations benefit from supportive and
innovative climates that, in turn, are linked to increased productivity (Shadur and Kienzle 1999;
Berman and West 1998; West and Berman 1997).

Some authors also describe the lack of social relations, including friendships, as being symptomatic
of what is wrong with organizations. Normative theories of traditional, "legal-rational"
bureaucracies, such as those described by Adams and Balfour (1998), Merton (1957), and Jaques
(1980), discuss impersonal styles of position-bound interaction. These views hold that loyalty
should be to the organization and its mission; human relations should be limited to those that are
functionally required for fulfilling official duties. This view has little place for friendship, apart
from organizationally sanctioned relationships such as mentoring. Psychoanalytic critiques suggest
the absence of close relations may induce anxiety and, in extreme cases, sociopathic behavior
(Hummel 1994; Sievers 1999). Bureaucracies promise to compensate for the resulting feelings of
emptiness at work through, for example, formal rewards and recognition. Apart from the problem
that these are poor substitutes for social interaction, some individuals become dependent on them in
ways that cause anxiety, depression, neurotic, and even sociopathic behavior. These outcomes may
induce absenteeism and turnover and decrease morale and motivation. This occurs among the
inflicted as well as those affected by them. The opportunity to form friendships is one way to make
these negative outcomes less likely.

Despite these considerations, there are risks from friendship. First, the risk of friendships resulting
in romantic liaisons and sexual harassment allegations has been well-researched (Bayes and Kelly
1994; Gutek 1985; Paul 1994; Pellicciotti 1993). (3) However, friendship leads to such allegations
less frequently than some might expect (Powers 1998; Markert 1999; Seglin 2000). Second, some
managers are staunchly opposed to workplace friendship, fearing that it may undermine employees'
loyalty to the organization, strain independent judgment, create conflict of interest situations, and
give the appearance of favoritism. Third, friendship sometimes is seen as naive. It creates political
vulnerability because friends share confidences that may be used against them later. Workplace
friendship is often also seen as impractical because of employee turnover. In sum, friendship has
both risks and rewards.

Friendship Processes in Organizations

Workplaces often have features that may facilitate friendship making (Pogrebin 1987). Workplaces
are sites where people meet others, including co-workers, clients, members of other departments or
organizations, and supervisors. Friendships develop because of proximity and shared experience.
People pursue common interests, such as the advancement of projects, as well as goals that concern
the general welfare of the organization (Sias and Cahill 1998; Jurckiewicz and Massey 1996). They
often rely on each other for problem solving--for example, to interpret new events or to manage
relationships with others in the organization (Myers et al. 1999; Moore 1999). Friendships are also a
source of support. Depending on their level of comfort, friends often use each other to improve their
personal or home lives, too, such as by sharing notes on problem behavior of teenagers or spouses,
discussing medical and retirement options, and improving physical fitness by joint exercise (Lu
1999). Friendships often grow from these interactions through continuity and mutual respect or
need. Friendship making can be a deliberate act, and people vary in the extent to which they choose
to engage in it.

Organizations can do numerous things to create opportunities for friendship making--although, of

course, they cannot force people to become friends. Teamwork often thrusts individuals into close
working relationships with each other, causing them to share information about past experiences
and likes that may be a seed for friendship. Managers can be instructed to promote a climate of
openness and friendship among staff and to set examples of interactions that their organizations
seek to promote (Rousseau 1995). Quite often, new managers are unaware of how openness can
build bridges of trust and increased commitment; they need to be taught how to establish trusting
relations with subordinates, and some organizations provide this training to their supervisors. Such
bridge building is becoming an endangered art form …
Workplace friendship

While much research is done in the area of workplace productivity and turnover, workplace
friendship is relatively new to the field of organizational communication. However the study of
such is important in fulfilling many basic tenants of successful organizational communication. Both
Elton Mayo (1933) and Maslow (1954) have long brought attention to the social needs of
employees within an organization. Mayo (1933) claimed that socio-emotional factors of the
workplace played a huge role in determining employee performance. Maslow (1954) defined social
needs within his hierarchy of needs which can be applied to our lives both personal and
professional. It is on the premise of these two scholars that it is evident that workplace friendship is
a valuable area of study within communication and business.

Workplace friendship has two parts; first, it is considered voluntary (Rawlings, 1992). This idea is
related to the friendship aspect of the term, as true friendships are voluntary actions. While in the
workplace, a person can not choose their co-workers they can chose which of their coworkers they
wish to be friendly and socialize with. These relationships must be distinguished from regular
relational roles as they extend past the roles within the organization (Sias, Smith & Avdeyeva,
2003). Friendships can be considered in society and within the workplace as on a spectrum;
friendships range from “friends,” to “close friends” to “best friends,” (Sias, Smith & Avdeyeva,
2003). Another similarity found by Sias and Cahill (1998) is that workplace friendships are
influenced by individual and contextual factors. The extraorganizational contextual factors include
life events, socializing and time. The workplace contextual factors exist only within the workplace
and include shared tasks, physical work proximity, work related problems and slack time. Within
workplace friendships, just as extraorganizational friendships there is a difference in perception of
friendship by men and women. Men tend to perceive friendship as “a domain for sharing activities”
while woman perceive friendship as a “domain for sharing feelings, emotions and information,”
(Sias, Smith & Avdeyeva, 2003, p 324). Another similarity between friendships in and out of the
workplace is the change in communication style as the friendship progresses. Sias and Cahill (1998)
found that as relationships progressed, coworkers would increase their discussion of non-work
topics. However, there is some difference between men and women and their time of increased
intimacy. For example, women are more likely to report an increase in communication intimacy in
the earlier stages of workplace friendships (Sias, Smith & Avdeyeva, 2003).

Workplace friendship is directly related to several other area of study including cohesion, job
satisfaction, organizational commitment and intention to leave. Cohesion involves the melding of a
group; it was found that a cohesive work environment is related to greater proportions of special
peer relationships in the workplace (Odden & Sias 1997). It was found by Morrison (1994) that the
perceived cohesiveness of a workplace was also positively related to opportunities for and actual
prevalence for friendships in the workplace. This was found in the inverse as well, that climates
perceived to have low levels of cohesion had low levels of friendships (Buunk et al. 1993). Job
satisfaction, organizational commitment and intention to leave are all closely related constructs that
were also found to be related to workplace friendship. Markiewicz et all (2000) found that career
success and job satisfaction are both related to the quality of workplace relationships. A positive
relationship was also found with job satisfaction and the friendship opportunity in the workplace
(Morrison 1994). Organizational commitment had similar results. It has been found that employee’s
perceptions of friendship opportunities have a direct effect on job involvement but an indirect effect
on organizational commitment (Morrison 2004). This can be explained by the mitigating factor of
job satisfaction; the more opportunity for friendship, the more satisfied a worker is and the more
likely they are to remain at their job. While the United States has long been the focus of many
communicative studies, the recent prominence of the East has shifted focus. Many social ties in
China are social constrained or at least socially dictated. This applies to the workplace as well.
According to Walder (1986), the workplace is “the locus of a worker’s social and political identity,”
(p. 29). According to a study done in Tianjin on worker relationships, 76 % of workers include at
least one coworker in their self identified social networks, which is twice the number as American
workers. (Ruan 1993). These networks are also different in size, in the United States networks are
about three people on average while in China this number is closer to five. This higher rate of
workplace friendships may also be related to the higher rate of kin within the workplace for many
Chinese citizens. However it is clear that workplace relationships are equally important in Chinese
society as they are in the United States.

Friendship and work: A good or bad partnership?

By Stephanie Armour, USA TODAY

Most days, co-workers Natasha Burke and Zipporah Dvash spend their time together at the office.
But as fast friends, the two also have a tight social life away from work. They've attended
weddings, bar mitzvahs and dinners together. Dvash has even tried to set her colleague up on dates.

"We're a classic example of how friendships can be successful at work," says Dvash, 51, a public
affairs director at the Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn. Burke, 34, handles community
affairs. "Each of us has a vested interest in helping the other do well. We help each other. It's made
our jobs so much easier."

Many employers are looking to build interoffice friendships in light of mounting research showing
that strong social connections can boost productivity and have a positive effect on company
profitability.

TELL US: Do you have a best friend at work?

People who have a best friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged with that work,
according to research by Tom Rath, author of Vital Friends: The People You Can't Afford to Live
Without, which is based in part on interviews by The Gallup Organization. Gallup research shows
that close friendships at work boost employee satisfaction by almost 50%.

But there can be downsides. Employees can resent a friend who later becomes a manager, a
friendship can turn sour and spoil workplace morale, and employees looking to get away with doing
less work may use friends to cover for them when they're away from the office, according to
Michael Jalbert, president of MRINetwork, a search and recruitment organization based in
Philadelphia.

"Co-workers who spend a lot of time socializing aren't doing work. Problems may develop if one
friend is promoted," Jalbert says. "Many companies try to create a family-like support at work, but
it can interfere. It's really a huge danger. Many people who are friends also find it hard to give
unbiased criticism. Supervisors who become friends with subordinates can create jealousy and a
sense of unfairness at the office."

Building stronger teams

While some employers do frown on office friendships, many today are seeking to foster closeness
among co-workers as they turn to more team-based work groups.

Consider Deloitte & Touche. The professional services firm is putting together a film festival,
which will result in videos created by employees about working at the company. Those videos then
will be used for recruiting. The program is being used as a team-building initiative to foster
camaraderie and bring together the multigenerational staff. More than 630 teams and thousands of
Deloitte employees (one to seven individuals per team, including employees of different ages and
backgrounds) have registered to create the films.

"It's strengthening relations of people who work together," says Paul Parker, chief people officer at
Deloitte. "We foster a very inclusive culture because we really have to team up a lot. You will
always give more effort if you care about the people you work with."

But when it comes to workplace friendships, there can be pitfalls. Among them:

•Slacking off. Friendships can cause employees to overlook or not report bad behavior. Nearly a
third of U.S. workers have witnessed co-workers engage in unethical conduct, according to a survey
on workplace ethics by Hudson, a professional staffing firm. However, only half of those
witnessing unethical or illegal acts reported it to anyone in authority. The survey is based on a
national poll of 2,099 U.S. workers and was compiled by Rasmussen Reports, an independent
research firm.

It's a situation that Neil Gussman has seen firsthand. While a college student many years ago, he
worked at a loading dock. But Gussman, who now works at the Chemical Heritage Foundation, a
non-profit in Philadelphia devoted to the chemical and molecular sciences, remembers how
friendships allowed employees to cover for each other on the job.

Longtimers who had become good friends would do a host of things to slack off: One employee
would go into the bathroom and read the newspaper for 20 minutes, he said, while a friend acted as
a lookout in case a supervisor came by. They would also take empty boxes out and nap inside them
while a co-worker kept lookout.

"The other guy would bang on the door to wake him up," Gussman says. "They were very proud of
getting away with things."

•Boundary issues. Employees who become friends on the job may share too much personal
information about themselves, which can then come back to haunt them if a colleague is promoted
or shares the personal details with others —— much like the meltdown between Monica Lewinsky
and Linda Tripp. The White House intern's sexual affair with President Clinton came to light after
she shared details with her Defense Department co-worker. Tripp secretly recorded telephone
conversations with Lewinsky.

Supervisors also may see employees who are close friends as more prone to being gossipers.
Ken Siegel of Beverly Hills, a psychologist and president of the Impact Group, a psychologists'
group that consults with business management, says he doesn't believe workplace friendships are
real. True friendships, he says, can't exist when there are issues such as money and status at play.

"It's a myth, desired but not achievable. When you inject money and power into the equation, it
changes things. Friendships at work are an oxymoron," Siegel says. "People try to create workplace
friendships out of their own vulnerability, and the more companies talk about friendships at work,
the less real it is."

More satisfied employees

But research also shows there are measurable upsides. People with three close friends at work were
46% more likely to be extremely satisfied with their jobs and 88% more likely to be satisfied with
their lives, according to the research in Vital Friends, which is based on more than 5 million
interviews conducted by Gallup. Those with a best friend at work also have fewer accidents at work
and are more engaged with customers.

"There are disadvantages (to work friendships)," author Rath says. "But what we see, time and time
again, is when people say they have a best friend at work, they're engaged on the job. Organizations
can do a much better job at creating an environment that supports having a best friend at work."

Friendships can also ease the strain of grueling work pressures. P.J. Gurumohan, 29, became good
friends with Killian McKiernan, 27, while the two were students at Arizona State University and
working together at a patent-licensing office. As their friendship grew, so did their interest in
continuing to work together. The two started their own company, Genwi.com, a social-networking
media website, in Scottsdale, Ariz. Making their start-up work means putting in Herculean hours,
but both attribute their ability to build their fledgling company because they are fast friends and are
able to tolerate long stretches of time together.

They often get into lengthy conversations about economics, politics and history, and sometimes
take a break to play chess.

"There can be challenges, because sometimes we need space. It's very intense. But we can read each
other's minds," McKiernan says. "The trust is there. If his car breaks down, I'll come and get him.
We operate in a way we couldn't if we hadn't been friends. If there's a fight, we can come back
together."

Fifty-seven percent of executives polled said that office productivity improves when co-workers are
friends outside of the office. Nearly two-thirds of employees surveyed agreed, according to a survey
by Menlo Park, Calif.-based staffing firm Accountemps. But managers and employees aren't as
aligned when it comes to just how beneficial it is to have buddies on the job: 22% of employees
said befriending co-workers has a "very positive" impact on productivity, while only 2% of
managers felt as strongly.

The motto

Friendship on the job is the motto at Kaye/Bassman International, a recruiting firm based in Plano,
Texas. CEO Jeff Kaye says the organization has half a dozen employees who are married to each
other, as well as brothers and sisters. When his chief operating officer got married to another
employee, the CEO served as the best man. Also, a number of employees went together on a
Caribbean cruise.

Kaye says employees are better able to handle confrontations or disagreements when they are
friends. He also says it builds trust, creates high-performance teams and makes workers feel that
they want to go to work, rather than begrudgingly feeling that they have to be at work.

"The more open, friendly places are the best places to work," Kaye says. "If you don't have that,
when you go to work, you put on this work mask and the authentic self only exists outside of work.
That's sad. Being yourself and having friends at work creates a more fulfilled life and greater
productivity."

The phrase Work is Worship can be rightly put in the context of recent times. The present
generation can rightly be referred as workaholics, but they are not anyway stereotypes. They are
rather, very friendly, fun loving and adventures. As they very well meet all their deadlines in an
efficient manner. In the same way they never compromise with their enjoyment at any cost.

The tight projects deadlines and heavy work loads make the individuals spent the major part of the
day at office and so the environment in the work place should be a nice one so that all the
individuals must feel comfortable at all time. Therefore friendship at workplace turns out to be a
very important factor in coping up with the work pressure. It is no way possible to adjust or exist in
the workplace, if your colleagues are not friendly and co-operative. It can be very well said that
your workplace buddies are your life line to survive in the work environment.

The moment you take our first step in the workplace, you start making new friends and they make
your days in office more and more enjoyable, which in turn influence your productivity and thus
develop your career path by leaps and bounce. Friendship at workplace gives rise to new pals and
they help in boosting up your spirit for better performances. The workplace pals also stand as your
emotional supports during the days of need. There happens to be several people in ones work place
but all of them cannot be good friends. Therefore one of the essential aspects of friendship at
workplace is to find out the right person for friendship as befriending the wrong person can even
cost ones job. Here are few tips on managing friendship at workplace. These quick tips on
friendship at workplace will help you to create healthy relationships at work and will render a
positive vibe to your attitude towards work. They will also help you to master in the art of keeping
professional distance from the deceitful colleagues.

Tips on friendship at workplace

It is always better to maintain a boundary in case of friendship at workplace. Even if you feel that
your workplace buddy is extremely trustworthy, still dont divulge all your personal details or
confidential matters to him or her. One can always hang out with the pals from workplace, share a
drink or go for shopping but going for in-depth friendship is not advisable until you know the
person very well. As it can be a threat to your professional life, if you have misjudged the person.
There should be a balance between work and friendship. One should know the way to draw a line.
For instance, if you tend to be overtly pally with your superior, then it might give rise to confusions
and conflicts. Professional commitments and personal relationships should be kept apart.

It is always nice to respect the privacy of your friend. Advices can always be rendered on matters
related to work but always make sure that whether your friend is liking the suggestions or not.

One should not rush into a friendship at the workplace. The best way is to be nice to everyone and
let friendship grow in course, slowly and naturally.

Always bear a neutral attitude in every affair related to the work place. Be ethical and trustworthy,
so that people can depend on you. Dont ever be the medium to spread gossips and rumor.

Keep your personal affairs personal and even the entire lot of colleagues is ready to provide you a
counseling session. Dont disclose your private matters.

Always be nice and pleasant towards your friends at workplace. Keep up the good manner of saying
please and thank you often. Be respectful and supportive, always acknowledge if a work is well
done and agree to your mistakes other than passing the blame on others.

So go ahead with your search for the blessings in form of a friend in your colleague and be the best
performer.

Workplace Friendships or Office Romance

Based on the extensive original research I have conducted for more than a decade on workplace
relationships, casual not close or best friendships are preferable in business. Caution should also be
exercised against revealing too much or too soon to a co-worker, superior, subordinate, or mentor at
work or in business. Yet friendship in business is crucial and beneficial. As a 42-year-old vice
president at a Massachusetts bank put it, "Coworker friendships help job satisfaction, teamwork,
and productivity."

Here are workplace and business friendship guidelines discussed in greater detail in my books,
Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives (Hannacroix Creek Books,
1997) and Business Protocol (Wiley, 1991):
?nbsp; Adhere to the "three year" rule by only gradually letting a workplace or business
acquaintanceship become a friendship; even then try to keep it a casual, non-intimate friendship.

?nbsp; Be careful if you are new at a job or in a novel situation, like a trade show or at a conference,
and someone seems overly friendly or pumps you for too many intimate details about your personal
life or about your business affairs.
?nbsp; Test out your business friend with "low risk" confidences to see your new friend's reliability
- is something you share repeated to others? Are you finding references to your private comments
mentioned in staff meetings? Does the new friendship seem equal and reciprocal or one-way?
?nbsp; You can be friendly in the workplace or in business, and have friends, without putting
yourself or your job in jeopardy. As Marcia Londe, an Atlanta-based sales executive told me, "You
don't have to spill your guts to be friends."
?nbsp; There are too many loose lips in business today. Here are four issues or items you should
rarely if ever share with any friend, especially a work- or business-related friend:

1. Badmouthing or gossip especially about business associates, clients, or customers.

2. Anything you would not want repeated on the evening news or to read about in a newspaper.

3. The sexual prowess of your romantic partner as well as any former sexual liaisons.

4. Business confidences that would be unethical or indiscreet to reveal.

?nbsp; Watch out for harmful or destructive friendships. A hint that you are in a negative
friendship? If, on more than one occasion, someone else says to you, "I need to talk to you about
your friend so-and-so."
?nbsp; E-mail communications represent a new challenge to discretion in business friendships.
Because there is something about e-mail that causes men and women to let down their guards,
before you hit the "send" button on your computer, reread your e-mail message and make sure it is
appropriate as a business communication.

When an Opposite-Sex Friendship Turn Into an Office Romance What about workplace friendships
that turn into romance? If one or both parties are married to someone else, and it would be an
inappropriate romantic relationship, for professional and ethical reasons, avoid such workplace
situations.

But what if both parties are single and are at the same professional level? Find out what the rules
are at your company about such a relationship. If your company allows it, and you can both handle
it, fine; if not, one or both may have to consider moving to another department or even to another
company if the romance gets very heated or if it ends.

If the romance is between a superior and subordinate, or with a mentor, even if the relationship is an
appropriate one, because the status of the couple is unequal, you have to find out if your company
will allow it. In my interviews about workplace romance, I found that most managers, as long as the
workplace romance is an appropriate one -- both partners are single, unattached, and at the same
level-- are only concerned that the romantic relationship does not hamper productivity. But if a
manager were to find an employee wandering around the office building, just to catch a glimpse of
his or her sweetheart, that would be a concern, not the romance itself.

Friendship at workplace...
Do you consider your colleagues as your friends?
Do you feel comfortable to talk to your colleagues in a same way as you talk to your friends?

I think friendship at workplace is actually not possible and it is an illusion. At workplace you are
actually competitors and should be competing in a healthy manner but yet cannot be friends. You
cannot be friends with your colleagues in a same department and at the same level. All managers in
a department are actually aiming to become department head or VP / Director of that department (as
applicable). In a same manner, all department heads aims to lead the company or become CEO of
the company. Do you think that you can be so close to your colleague to recommend his / her name
to your boss for promotion or higher increments? Certainly you won’t. Working in a team is
different. The role of an individual in a company is defined in such a way he or she needs to depend
upon the other individual…hence there is interdependency. Team work and professional
relationships are different from casual friendship. All other types of relations are just an illusion.

Hence, I like to ask… (Here, we are not considering cross the gender relationships)
What is your relationship with your colleagues at workplace?
Do you consider your colleagues as your friends?
Do you feel comfortable to talk to your colleagues in a same way as you talk to your friends?
How comfortable are you to share your personal emotions with your colleagues at workplace?
Did you ever found yourself cheated by your colleague because you shared some information with
him or her…considering him to be your friend?

Kindly share your views and experiences.

Thanks and Regards

Sanjeev
K.Ravi
Subject - Re: Friendship at workplace...
What is your relationship with your colleagues at workplace?
Just like friends, we discuss personal issues, crack jokes, help each other in times of need etc

Do you consider your colleagues as your friends?

Yes, bcoz in my co. we all are working on a certain project , so till the project is there we are here,
and its not like all / any one of us looks to become manager, etc. as we are not going to stay
permanently with my company, all of us know the truth that today or tomorrow we have to go, so
we take it easy and enjoy life, and just act as friends. and less colleagues, we help each other a lot.
so tomorrow even if we finish the project and go here there, we can help each other in future, unlike
other scenarios wherin u maintain a top professional relationship and once u leave any job, ur
relationship with colleagues ends. even those who have left, a time ago still keep in touch with us,
bcoz we were good frnds when we were working.. so they dont feel as if we r different , insipte of
fact that de r no more with the company.

Do you feel comfortable to talk to your colleagues in a same way as you talk to your friends?

except certain critical departmental issues, there is nothing to feel uncomfortable with talking to
colleagues, i think and hav experienced so ,but it also depends on what type of colleagues u hav,
some take info from here, and tell others and spread news like wildfire, so best is to avoid ppl like
them,, but there are colleagues whose wavelength matches with ours, and we get along smoothly..
How comfortable are you to share your personal emotions with your colleagues at workplace?

Well already one colleague discussed her emotions with me, it so happened that we had no work on
that day, and just were good friends, so she felt like telling me her personal issue..so when we dont
hav any work, and just chit chat in office and no one is there, its natural urge to discuss the personal
feelings with colleagues, as u feel the attachement and oneness with em...

Did you ever found yourself cheated by your colleague because you shared some information with
him or her…considering him to be your friend?

not yet till today, and hope doesnt happen in future too :-)
K.Ravi
Subject - Re: Friendship at workplace...
whew that was my 1000 post, ,wow IM HAPPY :-)
bhardwaj_ch1
Subject - Re: Friendship at workplace...
Yes, I am agreed with your practical approach. Lastly, I also feel that by sharing information to any
of staff, bring problemmes. One has to take precaution and be alert!
hariom.malhotra
Subject - Re: Friendship at workplace...
Dear Sanjeev,

Yes, I treat my colleagues as a friend but up to stern limit.

Being a head of department I don’t visit their place and don’t keep any personal relation with their
family.
I case if you have relation with their family. On though call you can be chased by their family
members

Regards

Malhotra
chitrasuchi
Subject - Re: Friendship at workplace...
Yeah I do agree with you sandeep.

With such a competition and self growth scenerio no one can befriend our colleagues as our Pals.