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Parental Alienation

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Parental Alienation

Family is the most crucial influence in every child’s development. Right from the start of

their life, a child is dependent on their family members, especially their parents for protection,

and provision of their needs. Parents are a child's first teacher and are essential role models since

parents influence children's actions and experience the world around them. Family is, therefore,

very crucial and is according to (Giancarlo & Rottmann, 2015). A family is "a living thing which

changes and evolves, any decisions made in the family affects its members irrespective of the

nature of the family." It, therefore, means that whether the family is a single individual or a

group of individuals, it has a great significance in the lives of and future of its members,

especially the children. Although the family may comprise many members, including extended

members, the immediate parents are significant, especially in the life of the children. Parents

determine how their character and development. Since both parents are crucial, anything that

separates a child from one of the parents causes tremendous effects on the child. Therefore,

separation or divorce poses various challenges to the family because of the adjustment it brings

to the family roles and their functioning (Giancarlo & Rottmann, 2015). Family separation brings

about parental alienation since one parent has to go with the child of children; thus, children will

lack parental love from one of the parents.

In most cases, children who suffer parental alienation have different challenges in their

development. This research, therefore, seeks to understand the nature and meaning of parental

alienation, its causes, and some of the effects of both alienated parents and children. Among the

results discussed in the paper include felling of depression, trust issues, trauma, PTSD, among

others.
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Research has found that parental alimentation is common among many families around

the world. According to Harman, Lorandos & Grubb (2020), parental alienation is the state in

which the affected children refuse to associate with another parent due to some reasons. For

alienation to occur, parents use tactics to lure their children into separating or hating the other

parent. Research shows that parents use two types of tactics to separate their children from

another party: direct hostility and indirect hostility (Harman et al., 2020). Whether there are

direct or indirect forms of aggressive behaviors, there must be a contribution from both the child

and the favored parent for the alienations to occur (Giancarlo & Rottmann, (2015). Also, Harman

et al. (2020) found gender variances in the types of hostilities used to alienate children. Mothers

are likely to use more indirect methods of isolation behaviors, but dads use more direct forms

(Harman et al., 2020). Both direct and indirect behaviors negatively impact the child's perception

of the target parents. For instance, physical attack of the parent and assault made children

ashamed of the attacked parent, thus growing apart from them. A direct form of hostility mainly

used by fathers includes forms of aggression or habits that intend to hurt another individual and

are verbal and physical, which makes a child develop hatred for that. Some of the techniques

used by parents to ensure their children separate from the target parents include restricting the

access of the other parent to the child's information, denying physical or phone interaction of the

other parent with the kid, condemning the other parent to inform of the kid, putting financial

blames on them and even encouraging conflicts between the target parent and the child

(SCHWARTZ, 2015).

Several factors bring about parental alienation, and in most cases, both mothers and

fathers are the targets of parental separation behaviors (Harman et al., 2020). The primary cause

of parental alienation is parents' divorce and separation which makes families change roles
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(Giancarlo & Rottmann, 2015). In the case of separation of parents, the remaining parent is likely

to assume the roles of bother parents. Since one parent plays both mother’s and father’s roles in

the child’s life, the child tends to be more dependent on one parent thus forgetting the other one

as he or she is out of the child’s life. Although parent’s separation or divorce may cause parental

alienation, parental alienation can only be justified if it satisfies the factors presented in the four

factor model (Meier, 2020). In other instances, parents' misunderstandings may cause children to

be separated from their parents. Research has revealed that some parents who have

misunderstandings use direct and indirect forms of hostility to separate a child or children from

the other parent. According to Harman et al. (2020), alienating mothers would frequently employ

alienation behaviors that frightened the child into thinking the target parent may hurt them and

sometimes seek evidence for their accusations against target parents.

On the other hand, alienating fathers challenged their children to disobey the alienated

target parent's authority. Some of the accusations formed against alienated parents make children

hate the target parent as they tend to think badly of them. For instance, fathers accused of not

providing for their children and being harmful to the children make the child develop a negative

attitude toward them, thus breaking the bond between them. Likewise, mothers who are scolded

or abused in front of their children make the children see them unworthy, thus disrespecting them

and weakening their attachments to each other. Therefore, any aggressive behavior that a child

witnesses from either parent ruins the child's relationship with the target parent and becomes

enmeshed with the other favored parent.

Parental isolation has several detrimental impacts on both the alienated parent and the

children. Giancarlo & Rottmann (2015) reports that alienated parents are likely to suffer

financially. The parents who are targets of alienation tend to seek legal involvement seeking their
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rights to be involved in their children's life. In their pursuit for justice, these parents tend to use a

lot of money, bearing that legal justice can sometimes be costly. Additionally, courts tend to

critique parents, especially mothers who take their cases to court and are often accused of false

blame Meier, J. S. (2020). These women, therefore, tend to develop depression as their claims

are not considered. Mental illness is also common to the alienated parents who lose their children

or whose children develop hatred towards them. According to Giancarlo & Rottmann (2015),

parents affected by alienation have challenges that include depression, anxiety, insomnia, and

post-traumatic stress disorders. These parents are likely to develop such challenges due to their

inability to see their children, which makes them uncertain that they are well. For the parents

whose children are forced to admit that they are wrong, such behaviors frustrate them since their

children lose trust in them. The challenges of trauma, stress, anxiety, among others, lead to

parents' physical; health deterioration and may consequently lead to loss of lives.

Children also face various challenges associated with parental alienation. (Giancarlo &

Rottmann, 2015) And (SCHWARTZ 2015) have reported that aligned child faces a period of

instability since all they had always known and has been faithful to them until the separation

time differs. The child is faced with challenges beyond their competence level, and these

instabilities may become a risk to their future stability. Often, children grow knowing that their

parents are good role models, and they tend to act according to their advice. When these children

are advised otherwise, they become confused, not knowing what to follow. Changing their

thoughts about their parents may become difficult for them may invoke emotional challenges.

(SCHWARTZ, 2015) adds that affected children may experience feelings of fear, confusion,

guilt, anger, anxiety, low self-esteem, hopelessness, and a sense of rage. A child's self-esteem

lowers because they receive a message that their parents' love will depend on their withdrawal
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from loving the alienated parent. Since it is difficult for the child to hate their parent, they tend to

feel hated by the favored parent for not abiding by their command. Also, the child’s self-esteem

lowers by conceptualizing that one parent is bad, thus concluding that they are also bad since

those parents are supposed to be their role models.

Additionally, children suffer anxiety and depression due to a lack of parental love from

the alienated parent. Parental love is crucial for every child; children who lack parental love are

likely to suffer from depression, loneness, and anxiety. Parentages who prevent their kids from

talking to the other parent create loneliness for them and fear for the other parent (SCHWARTZ,

2015). Parental alienation also has a long-lasting effect on adolescents and adults as it affects

their future relationships. This is so because children copy their parents, and if they are informed

that their parents are bad, they will develop esteem problems.

Parents are crucial in every child's life, and any cases of their separation may

significantly impact their lives. Parents alienated from their children may develop depression,

anxiety, and depression resulting from hatred from their children. Also, parents suffer financial

losses as they seek legal justice from the court regarding their children's separation from them.

Children also develop several challenges resulting from parental alienation, including trauma,

low self-esteem, hopelessness, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, this research has justified that

some challenges face both alienated parents and children resulting from parental separation.

However, the research limitation is the failure to identify who among the separated parent and

the child suffers more from separation. This research, therefore, recommends further studies to

determine the more affected party. It also advises parents to avoid alienation since it has severe

effects on both parents and children.

References

Giancarlo, C., & Rottmann, K. (2015). Kids Come Last: The Effect of Family Law Involvement

in Parental Alienation. International Journal of Interdisciplinary Social Sciences: Annual

Review, 9, 27–42.

https://doi-org.ezproxystcc.helmlib.org/10.18848/1833-1882/CGP/v09/53552e

Giancarlo, C., & Rottmann, K. (2015). Kids Come Last: The Effect of Family Law Involvement

in Parental Alienation. International Journal of Interdisciplinary Social Sciences: Annual

Review, 9, 27–42.

https://doi-org.ezproxystcc.helmlib.org/10.18848/1833-1882/CGP/v09/53552

Harman, J. J., Lorandos, D., Biringen, Z., & Grubb, C. (2020). Gender Differences in the Use of

Parental Alienating Behaviors. Journal of Family Violence, 35(5), 459–469. https://doi-

org.ezproxystcc.helmlib.org/10.1007/s10896-019-00097-5

J. L. Baker, A. (2020). Reliability and validity of the four‐factor model of parental

alienation. Journal of Family Therapy, 42(1), 100–118. https://doi-

org.ezproxystcc.helmlib.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12253

Meier, J. S. (2020). U.S. child custody outcomes in cases involving parental alienation and abuse

allegations: what do the data show? Journal of Social Welfare & Family Law, 42(1), 92–

105. https://doi-org.ezproxystcc.helmlib.org/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941

SCHWARTZ, K. (2015). The Kids Are Not All Right: Using the Best Interest Standard to

Prevent Parental Alienation and a Therapeutic Intervention Approach to Provide

Relief. Boston College Law Review, 56(2), 803–840.

https://heinonline.org/hol-cgi-bin/get_pdf.cgi?handle=hein.journals/bclr56&section=20