Shame and Self-Righteousness:

Transactional Analysis Perspectives

and Clinical Interventions
Richard G. Erskine
Abstract Both shame and self-righteousness reflect the
Shame and self-righteousness are intra- defenses used to avoid experiencing the inten-
psychicdynamics that help the individual de- sity of how vulnerable and powerless the
fend against a rupture in relationship. This individual is to the loss of relationship. Simul-
article discusses how, from a script perspec- taneously, shame is an expression of an
tive, shame is comprised of the script belief unaware hope that the other person will take
"Something's wrong with me," formed as the responsibility for repairing the rupture in
a result of messages and decisions, conclu- the relationship. Self-righteousness involves a
sions in response to impossible demands, denial of the need for relationship.
and defensive hope and control. In addition,
from an ego state perspective, shame A Personal Experience
involves a diminished self-concept in com- A few years ago a colleague telephoned and
pliance with criticism, a defensive transposi- criticized my behavior, defining my motivation
tion of sadness and fear, and disavowal as pathological. Although I apologized, at-
of anger. Furthermore, archaic shame may tempted to explain the situation, and tried to
be either a Child or a Parent ego state rectify the problem in writing, the previously
fixation. The suggestion is made that warm and respectful relationship ended in a
self-righteousness is the denial of a need for lack of communication.
relationship. A contact-oriented relationship In each subsequent attempt to talk to that per-
psychotherapy that emphasizes methods of son, I tripped over my own words, experienced
inquiry, attunement, and involvement is myself as inept, and avoided talking about both
described. my feelings and our relationship. The ex-
perience of being humiliated by a respected col-
Shame and self-righteousness are protective league left me feeling debilitating shame. I
mechanisms that help the individual to avoid longed for a reconnection. I wished that the per-
the vulnerability to humiliation and the loss of son would inquire about my feelings and our
contact in relationship. When a relationship is lack of contact and recognize and respond em-
tainted by criticism, ridicule, blaming, defin- pathically and reciprocally to the humiliating
ing, ignoring, or other humiliating behaviors, experience I had had in the original phone
the result is an increased vulnerability in the conversation.
relationship. The contact or attachment is The sense of shame and longing compelled
disrupted. Shame and self-righteousness result me to examine my internal reactions to the
from humiliating disgrace or reproach and a humiliation. In my psychotherapy sessions I
loss of self-esteem. reexperienced being a little boy in the second
and third grades, filled with hurt and fear and
The author gratefully acknowledges the members ofthe
Professional Development Seminars ofthe Institute for In- adapting to a highly critical teacher. The per-
tegrative Psychotherapy for sharing personal experiences sonal benefit of the psychotherapy was a
and for their professional involvement in formulating the reclaiming of sensitivity to others and to myself
ideas in this article. Portions ofthis article were presented and a personal sense of contentment. The pro-
at the Symposium on the Treatment of Shame at the joint
conference of the International Transactional Analysis
fessional benefit of resolving my shame was an
Association and the USA TA Association in Minneapolis. evolution in the therapeutic methods and in-
Minnesota, in October of 1993. teractions in my clinical practice. I was faced

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 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

with several questions: How and when do I define Clinical practice and theoretical development
people? Do I ascribe motivation rather than push and pull each other in the process of evolv-
facilitate the person's self-understanding of his ing. Clinical interventions that make use of
or her behavior? What is the effect of my inner respect (Erskine & Moursund, 1988); empathic
affect or behavior on the other person? Am I, transactions (Clark, 1991); emotional engage-
in my attempt to be therapeutic, implying to the ment (Cornell & Olio, 1992); inquiry, attune-
client, "Something is wrong with you?" ment, and involvement (Erskine, 1991a;
The theoretical ideas on shame and defensive Erskine, 1993; Erskine & Trautmann, 1993)
self-righteousness and the clinical interventions have revealed that shame and self-protective
presented in this article are the result of several fantasies are dominant in the lives of many
years of my investigating my errors as a therapist, clients. However, these phenomena have not
the ruptures I have created in the therapeutic rela- been adequately integrated with a transactional
tionship with clients, and the methods that may analysis theory of ego states and scripts.
increase a client's sense of shame. A respectful Clinical experience helped to evolve a
inquiry into each client's phenomenological ex- theoretical understanding that views shame and
perience of our therapy process provided a self-righteousness as archaic intrapsychic
transaction-by-transaction exploration of my dynamics designed to protect the individual
empathic failures, misperceptions of develop- from reproach, humiliation, and the loss of con-
mental levels of functioning, and affective tact in relationship. Unresolved archaic shame
misattunements-the interruptions to contact- increases the pain of any current criticism. Ar-
in-relationship. When I take responsibility for chaic intrapsychic conflict adds a toxicity that
the ruptures in the therapeutic relationship, my floods current humiliation with debilitating
therapy focuses on attuning to the client's af- shame or defensive self-righteousness.
fective experience and responding with a
reciprocal affect. My therapeutic involvement The Literature
is in my consistency, responsibility, and de- In the transactional analysis literature, shame
pendability. It is in the exploration and resolu- and self-righteousness have received little atten-
tion of the ruptures in our relationship that I tion, either as theoretical topics or as areas of
can be most effective in uncovering the core clinical concern. Obliquely, Berne (1972), Ernst
script beliefs that determine the significant in- (1971), and Erskine and Zalcman (1979) all
terpersonal experiences in my client's life. presented a theoretical basis for understanding the
Transactional analysis psychotherapy in the existential position and script beliefs related to
1970s and early 1980s was marked by the defin- shame. Erskine's (1988) description of Child ego
ing of clients' behaviors and was skewed by state defenses against intrapsychic conflicts, when
clinical methods that emphasized explanation, elaborated to include affect and fantasy, provides
confrontation, and behavioral change. Such an ego state theory for understanding the
methods often overshadow underlying issues dynamics of shame and self-righteousness.
related to shame and self-righteousness. To define English (1975) directly addressed shame and
a client's feeling as a racket, or behavior as a social control, describing shame as "the price
game or as scripty is adverse to resolving of the child's having internalized a specific
psychological problems that originate in the ex- message of control from his family and
perience of humiliation, neglect, or abuse. culture" (p. 26). She went on to say that the
To define someone, even if accurately, may effect is the inhibiting, limiting, and control-
devalue and humiliate them. To genuinely in- ling of expansive curiosity. English emphasized
quire about another's experience, motivation, that the act of shaming children serves "the
self-definition, and the meaning of their function of adapting the child to the family's
behavior avoids potential humiliation. To re- civilization, for better or worse" (p. 26).
spond with empathy and attunement empowers Recently, Klein (1992) defined righteousness
the person to fully express feelings, thoughts, as "the core of the defensive structures of our
perceptions, and talents. Inquiry, attunement, egos" (p. 76). She indirectly related the defen-
and involvement invite a revealing of the siveness of self-righteousness to shame when
other's underlying meaning and unconscious she described righteousness as "the camouflage
motivation. for our negative self-esteem" (p. 78).

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RICHARD G. ERSKINE

Although Berne (1972) and Ernst (1971) did injuries [with] low self-esteem, poor self-
not specifically write about shame or self- concept, or diminished self-image. (p. 25)
righteousness, dynamics related to these feel-
Shame becomes activated whenever fun-
ings are reflected in the existential positions of
damental expectations of a significant
"I'm not-OK-You're OK" or in the defense
other (imagined scenes of interpersonal
"I'm OK-You're not-OK."
need) or those equally fundamental ex-
The general psychotherapy literature on
pectations of oneself (imagined scenes of
shame and self-righteousness has also been
accomplishment or purpose) are suddenly
sparse, although recently the concept of shame
exposed as wrong or are thwarted. (p. 35)
has received increased attention. Goldberg began
Understanding Shame (1991) by tracing the Silvan Tomkins (1963) described shame as
origin of the modem English word "shame" one of the nine human affects: as "the affect
from the Indo-European word "schame," which of indignity, of defeat, of transgression and
means "to hide" or "cover up." He continued alienation" (p. 118). As one of the first
with clinical case examples of how individuals psychologists to seriously investigate emotions,
hide and cover up their full self-expression Tomkins (1962, 1963, 1991) pioneered an
following incidents of insult and disgrace. Each elaborate theory that gave voice to many
of Goldberg's examples about shame reflected a psychotherapists' clinical observations of the
debasing, degrading, or humiliating experience interplay between affect, perception, cognition,
inflicted by the behavior of another person. Ac- bodily reactions, and behavior. Tomkins was
cording to Goldberg (1991), shame is caused particularly interested in facial, respiratory, and
by "the loss of loving connection with signifi- body gestures as an expression of various af-
cant others, who are, or are believed to be, fects and how emotions serve as the primary
necessary to one's psychological and physical motivational system for human beings. He
survival" (p. 59). The result is the loss of self- described shame as an affect on a continuum
esteem and the protective hiding of the with humiliation, shame being of lesser inten-
degraded sense of self both from others and any sity and humiliation related to much greater af-
possible future reproach and insult. Shame fect arousal. Although Tomkins theorized that
represents a special fear-"like an instinct for shame was among the nine primary affects that
self-preservation" (p. 18), like "a silencing motivated cognition and behavior, he described
vehicle that keeps the misery a secret" (p. 22). shame as always occurring in the presence of
In essence, shame is a lonely yet self-protective other emotions. Shame serves as an alternator
experience. However, Goldberg also views or impediment to the expression of interest, ex-
shame as "the crucible of human freedom," citement, or joy, and it interferes with the
with a constructive potential (1990, p. 591). pleasure of an experience.
Lynd (1958), one of the earliest writers on Nathanson (1992) applied Tomkins's affect
shame, defined shame as a sense of injury to theory-specifically as it relates to shame and
the trust of oneself and of others. Lewis (1971) pride-to descriptions of daily life and to
described shame as a reduction in self-esteem psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. The
and in the esteem of others resulting in fury or psychoanalytic writers have generally ignored
anger that functions to regain a sense of being the topic of shame. From a psychoanalytic
valued. Wilson (1990), writing for a lay au- perspective shame is a resistance-a reaction
dience, said, "Shame.is a strong sense of be- formation that intends the converse of what is
ing uniquely and hopelessly different and less phenomenologically experienced. Shame is
than other human beings" (p. 25). seen as inhibiting exhibitionist impulses by
Kaufman, in The Psychology of Shame disguising forbidden drives and wishes from
(1989), wrote: awareness (Goldberg, 1991).
Erikson (1950, 1959, 1968) was one of the
Phenomenologically, to feel shame is to
first psychoanalytic developmental theorists to
feel seen in a painfully diminished sense.
dispense with Freud's instinctual drive theory
(p. 17)
and the central importance of guilt in that
Shame is the source of what has been paradigm. Instead, he wrote about the on-
referred to as narcissistic wounds or tological development of identity throughout the

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 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

life cycle. He described eight developmental As 1 use the term, anxiety is a sign that
stages or crises through which individuals form one's self-esteem, one's self-regard is en-
and refine their identity-a personal approach dangered. . . . Anxiety is a signal of
to viewing self and the world. Erikson's second danger to self-respect, to one's standing
stage centered on a sense of autonomy versus in the eyes of significant persons present,
shame and doubt. He (1968) wrote that just as even if they are only ideal figures from
autonomy and pride emanate from a sense of childhood. (p. 207)
inner goodness, so doubt and shame derive Sullivan also described how people use anger
from the sense of badness: "A sense of self- and "misunderstanding" to avoid the anxiety
control without loss of self-esteem is the on- of •'foreseen lowering of self-esteem" (p. 207).
togenetic source of a sense of free will. From Self-righteousness has received even less at-
an unavoidable sense of loss of self-control and tention in the psychotherapy literature than has
of parental overcontrol comes a lasting propen- shame. The literature on the treatment of nar-
sity for doubt and shame" (p. 109). The quality cissistic disorders is one area in which writers
of the relationship between a child and parent have implied a direct connection between
is the primary factor in whether the child humiliation, shame, low self-evaluation,
develops a sense of self-worth and competen- rageful anger, and self-righteousness (Kohut,
cy or a feeling of being powerless, inhibited, 1978; Lewis, 1987; Modell, 1986; Morrison,
and shamed. "The quality of autonomy which 1986; Reich, 1986; Wurmser, 1987). Bursten
children develop depends on their parents' (1973) described the adoption of a stance of ar-
ability to grant autonomy with dignity and a rogance, self-glorification, and aggressiveness
sense of personal independence which they as the repair of shame. Bach (1985) defined the
derive from their own lives" (Erskine, 1971, narcissistic grandiose fantasy as a defense
p. 60). Shame results when parents resort to against an "experienced defect in the sense of
belittling or teasing, which impels the child to self which requires some unusual overcompen-
abandon desires and interests; doubt results sation" (p. 93). Overcompensation is ac-
from external overcontrol which robs the child complished through self-righteous fantasies, a
of the sense of efficacy-that he or she is defense against shame and low self-esteem
capable of controlling himself or herself (Wolf, caused by humiliating experiences with others.
1988). Horowitz (1981) related self-righteous rage and
Lewis (1971, 1987), following Erikson's the attribution of blame to others as a defense
ideas, seemed to be one of the first psycho- against insult and shame. Basch (1988) provided
analytic writers to relate the phenomenon of a clinical example of the reversal of insult and
shame to clinical practice. She emphasized the shame in the case of a woman who was dread-
struggle to regain a sense of being valued fully humiliated and fantasized revenge as a
following a loss of value or esteem in the eyes disavowal of her sense of shame. Goldberg
of others or one's self. Wurmser (1981) (1991) related such self-righteous fantasies to an
described shame as related to beliefs about attempt at gaining control over powerlessness.
something being wrong with the self, that is, Wallace and Nosko (1993) described how rage
"I am weak," "I am dirty," "I am defective" and violence serve as a means of avoiding the
(pp. 27-28). Basch (1988) gave shame a signifi- sense of abandonment linked to shame in men
cant place within psychoanalytic self who batter their wives. Although self-righteous-
psychology theory. He described shame as "a ness has not received adequate attention in the
painful emotion. . . . a basically protective clinical or theoretical literature, the authors
maneuver" (p. 136) that puts an end to self- who do describe the phenomenon imply that
expression or expectations. Both Kohut (1977, self-righteousness is a defensive process used
1984) and Morrison (1987) related the origin to ward off a sense of shame and the memories
of shame to experiences of empathic failure in or anticipation of humiliation and reproach.
current life and also, importantly, to feelings The clinical methods for the treatment of
of insecurity resulting from early childhood shame and self-righteousness that emphasize
parental empathic failure. respect, attunement, and a contactful relation-
Sullivan (1954) described the dynamics of ship are more fully developed than is a defined
shame with the term anxiety: theoretical perspective in this area. The

Vol. 24, No.2. April 1994 89

RICHARD G. ERSKINE

distinction between shame and humiliation therapy, both Miller (1987) and Jordan (1989)
needs to be clarified. Is shame an innate human validate this explanation by relating shame to
affect or a combination of intrapsychic pro- the loss of human connection.
cesses that include emotions, belief systems, Shame is most importantly a felt sense
and defense processes? Is shame a reaction to of unworthiness to be in connection, a
the current behavior of others, the result of ar- deep sense of unlovability, with the ongo-
chaic introjections and compliance, or an ex- ing awareness of how very much one
istential position? Further, how can these wants to connect with others. While
phenomena be explained within the framework shame involves extreme self-conscious-
of transactional analysis theory? ness, it also signals powerful relationship
longings. (Jordan, 1989, p. 6)
Shame: A Theoretical Clarification Kaufman (1989) similarly expressed that shame
Shame is a self-protective process used to reflects the need for contact in relationship: "In
avoid the affects that result from humiliation the midst of shame, there is an ambivalent
and vulnerability to loss of contact-in- longing for reunion with whomever shamed
relationship with another person. When us" (p. 19). Shame is an expression of an
children, and even adults, are criticized, unaware hope that the other will take respon-
devalued, or humiliated by significant others, sibility for repairing the rupture in the
the need for contact and the vulnerability in relationship.
maintaining the relationship may produce a self- Tomkins (1963) wrote that shame is the af-
protective defensive affect and compliance with fect present when there has been a loss of
the imposed diminishing definitions. Shame is dignity, defeat, transgression, and alienation.
a complex process involving: He implied that shame is an affect different in
1) a diminished self-concept, a lowering nature and function from the other eight affects
of one's self-worth in compliance with in his theoretical schema. The affect of shame,
the external humiliation and/or intro- according to Tomkins (see Nathanson, 1992),
jected criticism; serves as an alternator or impediment to other
2) a defensive transposition of sadness affects-a defensive cover for interest and
and fear; and joy. Tomkins's ideas parallel Fraiberg's
3) a disavowal of anger. (1982/1983) observations about the formation
Shames involves a disavowal of anger in order of psychological defenses in children. She
to maintain the semblance of a connected rela- described the process of "transformation of
tionship with the person who engaged in affect" (p. 71), in which one affect is
humiliating transactions. When anger is substituted or transposed for another when
disavowed, a valuable aspect ofthe selfis lost: the original affect fails to bring about the
the need to be taken seriously and respectfully, necessary contact between the child and the
and the need to make an impact on the other caretaking adult, sometimes as early as nine
person. One's self-worth is diminished. months of age. When the child is humiliated,
Shame also involves a transposition of the af- the fear of a loss of relationship and the sadness
fects of sadness and fear: sadness at not being of not being accepted are transposed into
accepted as one is-with one's own urges, the affect of shame. Shame is composed of
desires, needs, feelings, and behaviors-and sadness and fear, the disavowal of anger, and
fear of abandonment in the relationship because a lowered self-concept-compliance with the
of who one is. The fear and the loss of an aspect humiliation.
of self (disavowal of anger) fuel the pull toward This compliance with humiliation ensures a
compliance-a lowering of one's self-esteem in continuing relationship and, paradoxically, is
order to establish confluence with the criticism a defense as well. This self-protective lowering
and/or humiliation. of worth is observableamong wild animals when
Compliance with the humiliation, the one animal crouches in the presence of another
transposition of fear and sadness, and the to avoid attack and to guarantee acceptance. It
disavowal of anger produce the sense of shame is self-protective to lower one's status in order
and doubt described by Erikson (1950). Writing to hold off aggression when a fightfor dominance
from a feminist perspective on relationship might occur. The lowered self-concept or

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 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

or self-criticism that is a part of shame lessens The Parent ego states are the manifestations
the pain of the rupture in relationship while at of introjections of the personalities of actual
the same time maintaining a semblance of rela- people as perceived by the child at the time of
tionship. The often quoted boxing coach's introjection (Erskine, 1988; Loria, 1988). Intro-
phrase, "Beat 'em to the punch," describes the jection is a defense mechanism (including
function of lowered self-esteem and self- disavowal, denial, and repression) frequently
criticism used as a defense against possible used when there is a lack of full psychological
humiliation from others. However, the punch contact between a child and the adults responsi-
is delivered to one's self in the form of ble for his or her psychological needs. Introjec-
diminished self-worth. tion is an unaware identification with the beliefs,
feelings, motivations, behaviors, and defenses of
Shame and Self-Righteousness: the other. The significant other is made part of
A TA Perspective the self (ego), and the conflict resulting from
The formulations of a transactional analysis the lack of need fulfillment is internalized so
theory of shame and self-righteousness require that the conflict can seemingly be managed
that the concepts be integrated within ego state more easily (Perls, 1977; Rosenfeld, 1978).
theory and script theory. To arrive at an Parent ego state contents may be introjected
understanding of how the phenomena of shame at any point throughout life and, if not reex-
and self-righteousness function within ego amined in the process of later development, re-
states, it is essential that the concepts being used main unassimilated or not integrated into the
be clearly defined. Berne (1972) recommended Adult ego state. The Parent ego states constitute
that theoretical discussions remain within a alien chunks of personality, embedded within
given set of concepts and definitions so that the the ego and experienced phenomenologically
definitions used "belong to the same as if they were one's own, but, in reality, they
framework or come from the same viewpoint" form a borrowed personality, potentially in the
(p. 412). The following definitions of ego states position of producing intrapsychic influences
are provided as a conceptual framework for on the Child ego states.
such a theoretical exploration. Many of them The Adult ego state consists of current, age-
draw from and rely on material I have consistent emotional, cognitive, and moral
previously published (see Erskine, 1980, 1988, development; the ability to be creative; and the
1991b, 1993; Erskine & Moursund, 1988). capacity for full, contactful engagement in
meaningful relationships. The Adult ego state
Ego States accounts for and integrates what is occurring
In 1961 Berne defined the collective Child moment-by-moment internally and externally,
ego states as an archaic ego consisting of fixa- past experiences and their resulting effects, and
tions of earlier developmental stages: as "relics the psychological influences and identifications
of the individual's own childhood" (p. 77). The with other significant people in one's life.
Child ego state is the entire personality of the Archaic shame is an internal expression of
person as he or she was in that previous an intrapsychic conflict between a reactive
developmental period (Berne, 1958/1977, Child ego state and an influencing Parent ego
1961, 1964). When functioning in a Child ego state. When a Child ego state is active (either
state the person perceives internal needs and subjectively reportable or behaviorally observ-
sensations and the external world as he or she able), by theoretical inference a Parent ego state
did at a previous developmental age. "This in- is cathected and intrapsychically influencing
cludes the needs, desires, urges, and sensations; (Berne, 1961; 1964). "The individual manifests
the defense mechanisms; and the thought pro- an attitude of child-like compliance" (Berne,
cesses, perceptions, feelings, and behaviors of 1961, p. 76) and/or may make use of childhood
the developmental phase where fixation oc- defenses such as avoidance, freezing, or
curred" (Erskine, 1988, p. 17). The Child ego fighting (Fraiberg, 1982/1983); ego splitting
state fixations occurred when critical childhood (Fairbairn, 1954); transformation of affect and
needs for contact were not met, and the child's reversal of aggression (Fraiberg, 1982/1983);
use of defenses against the discomfort of the and fantasy (Erskine, 1988, p. 18; Erskine &
unmet needs became habitual (Erskine, 1980). Moursund, 1988, p. 23).

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RICHARD G. ERSKINE

Berne (1961) described the intrapsychic behavior as a protection from consequences or

dynamics of ego states as representing "the to provide love and nurturance when the real
relics of the infant who once actually existed, caretakers are cold, absent, or abusive. The
in a struggle with the relics of the parents who fantasy serves as a buffer between the actual
once actually existed" for it "reduplicates the parental figures and the desires, needs, or feel-
actual childhood fights for survival between ings of the young child. In families or situa-
real people, or at least that is the way the pa- tions where it is necessary to repress an
tient experiences it" (p. 66). awareness of needs, feelings, and memories in
The intrapsychic conflict is in part maintained order to survive or be accepted, the self-created
by the child's need for relationship (Fairbairn, fantasy may become fixated and not integrated
1954), attachment (Bowlby, 1969), or contact with later developmental learning. Over time,
(Erskine, 1989) and the fixated Child ego the fantasy functions as a "reversal" of aggres-
state's defense against full awareness of con- sion (Fraiberg, 1982/1983, p. 73): The
tact, attachment, and relationship needs. These criticism, devaluation, and humiliation that the
needs are evident in the psychological loyalty child may have been subject to are amplified
to the intrapsychically influencing Parent ego and turned against the self as in self-criticism
state (Erskine, 1988, 1991b). The loyalty is in or self-abjection. Such shame-based fantasies
the defensive avoidance of the realization "My serve to maintain an illusion of attachment to
psychological needs were unmet" or in the un- a caring relationship when the actual relation-
conscious fantasy "If I'm good enough, my ship may have been ruptured with humiliation.
needs will be met." Many clients report a persistent sense of
In the service of establishing a transactional shame accompanied by degrading self-
analytic theory that describes the phenomena criticism. They repeatedly imagine humiliating
of shame and self-righteousness, the terms failures in performance or relationship. In
humiliation and humiliating transactions are fantasy they amplify the compliance with in-
used here to refer to interactions that occur be- trojected criticism and humiliation while
tween people when one person degrades, defending against memories of the original
criticizes, defines, or ignores the other. The sadness at not being accepted as one is and the
terms shame and self-righteousness are used to fear of abandonment because of who one is.
refer to the intrapsychic dynamics occurring When affect-laden memories of early traumatic
within an individual that may be described as humiliations are defensively repressed, they
consisting of Parent ego state influence, com- may reemerge in consciousness as fantasies of
pliance, and/or archaic systems of defense. future failure or degradation. The self-criticism
When the sense of shame has become fixated, and fantasy of humiliating failure serve two ad-
it represents an intrapsychic conflict between ditional functions: to maintain the disavowal of
an influencing exteropsychic state of the ego anger and to protect against the shock of possi-
and a compliant, defended archaeopsychic state ble forthcoming criticism and degradation.
of the ego: that child who longed for relation-
ship. "Fixation refers to a relatively enduring Self-Righteousness: A Double Defense
pattern of organization of affect, behavior, or Self-righteousness serves an even more
cognition from an earlier stage of development elaborate function than the defensive aspects of
which persists into and may dominate later life" shame. Self-righteousness is a self-generated
(Erskine, 1991b, p. 69). It is the fixated fantasy (occasionally manifested in overt trans-
defenses that keep the ego in separate states and actions) that defends against the pain of the loss
interfere with integration of archaic experiences of relationship while providing a pseudo-
into an Adult ego (Erskine & Moursund, 1988). triumph over the humiliation and an inflation
in self-esteem. Whereas shame and self-
A Defensive Fantasy criticizing fantasies leave the person feeling
As a normal developmental process, young devalued and longing for a repair in the rela-
children often use fantasy as a way to provide tionship, self-righteous fantasies are a desperate
controls, structure, nurturing, or whatever was attempt to escape humiliation and to be free of
experienced as missing or inadequate. The shame by justifying oneself. Self-righteousness
function of the fantasy may be to structure is: 1) a defense against the sadness and fear of

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 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

humiliation, 2) an expression of the need to humiliation he had experienced as a child, he

make an impact and to be taken seriously and adopted the script belief" Something is wrong
treated respectfully, and 3) a defense against with me" as an explanation for his loss of close
an awareness of the need for the other to repair friendships with other children and approval
the ruptured relationship (Bollas, 1987). The from his teachers. He further defended against
person fantasizes value for himself or herself, awareness of the script belief by perfecting his
often by finding fault with others and then los- speech. Nevertheless, regardless of how perfect
ing awareness of the need for the other. The his speech became in adult life, whenever
self is experienced as superior. someone criticized him he would listen intent-
As Alfred Adler described, a fantasy of ly to their comments. The current criticisms
superiority defends against memories of would activate the emotional memories of
humiliation (Ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1956) earlier humiliations wherein the introjected
and deflects the sense of shame outward. A criticisms would intrapsychically influence a
clinical case example illustrates this concept. Child ego state and potentiate the current
Robert, a 39-year-old married father of two, criticisms. To comfort himself, on the way to
had been in group therapy for two-and-a-half work the next day, he would obsessively de-
years. Robert described that, while driving to fend himself from his colleagues' or super-
work, he frequently fantasized arguing with his visor's remarks, longing for someone (the
coworkers or department supervisor. He often board of directors) to say he was right.
elaborated these fantasies with an imaginedlong, In Robert's case, the defensive process of
well-articulated oratory before the board of direc- disavowal of anger, compliance, transposition
tors. In these fantasized arguments hepointedout of affect, and fantasy became fixated in the
the errors of others, how their criticisms of same way that any defensive process does if it
Robert were wrong, and most importantly, how is not responded to early in its inception with
they made mistakesthat he, Robert, would never an empathic and affectively attuned relationship
make. In Robert's fantasy; the board of direc- (Erskine, 1991a, 1993). It was through respect
tors would be emotionally swayed by Robert's for Robert's style of relating to people and a
eloquent and convincing arguments. He would gentle and genuine inquiry into Robert's ex-
be exonerated of all criticism whereas the others perience that he began to reveal the presence
would be blamed both for criticizing him and for of his obsessive fantasies. The self-righteous
their own failings. These obsessive fantasies were fantasies defended against the natural desire for
often initiated by some criticismat work that was contact in relationship and his need for others
not accompanied by an opportunity for Robert to repair the ruptured relationship. Through at-
to explain his motivation. The lack of continued tunement and empathic transactions, he was
dialogue with people seemed to propel him into able to experience the original shame-the
obsessive fantasy wherein he could debate with sadness, fear, anger, and compliance in
the other in front of an audience that, in the end, response to the humiliations. When expressing
agreed that Robert was correct, even righteous. the sadness and fear at the loss of contact in
These obsessive fantasies gradually dimin- his relationships with teachers and children, he
ished and finally ceased when we explored the rediscovered his longing to be connected with
humiliations he experienced repeatedly in ear- others. The defensive fantasies stopped. Tender
ly elementary school at a time when he had a involvement on the part of the therapist and
speech impediment. Both teachers and other other group members made it possible for
children made fun of his impediment. Although Robert to experience his need for close emo-
in psychotherapy he could not remember any tional contact as natural and desirable.
of the specific taunts or mockery, he knew that
he had been ridiculed. He had a constant sense The Script System
that the reaction of others to him implied that Berne's concepts of script have been ex-
"Something is wrong with you." plained and expanded upon by many authors
Over the years he painstakingly worked on since they were first introduced (English, 1972;
improving his speech, overcame the impedi- Erskine, 1980; Erskine & Zalcman, 1979;
ment, and eventually developed impeccable Goulding & Goulding, 1979; Holloway, 1977;
diction. However, in compliance with the Kahler with Capers, 1974; Steiner, 1971;

Vol. 24. No.2. April 1994 93

RICHARD G. ERSKINE

Woollams, 1973). Each author presented his Racket System: A Model for Racket Analysis"
or her unique ideas and provided interesting (Erskine & Zalcman), it has become clear that
theoretical perspectives, useful directions, and the American term "racket" does not directly
new dimensions to clinical practice. Yet only translate into other languages. In the service of
a few of these theoretical contributions were providing an international uniformity in transac-
consistent with Berne's perspective on script tional analysis theory and terminology, I recom-
as transference phenomena or his developmen- mend using the term script system rather than
tal and intrapsychic theory of ego states racket system and intrapsychic analysis rather
(Erskine, 1991b). Various models of ego states than racket analysis. The concepts remain the
(Trautmann & Erskine, 1981) were used as the same; only the terms are different.
basis for script matrices without referring to The script system (originally published as the
Berne's original conceptualizations of ego states racket system) provides a model for under-
and without defining the rationale for refor- standing the systemic dynamics among the
mulating ego state and script theory. Berne intrapsychic, behavioral, and physiological
(1972) also contributed to this theoretical in- dimensions of life script. The script system
consistency by mixing concepts and models in diagrams how the intrapsychic reactions (defen-
his later writing. He lessened the impact of sive conclusions and decisions) and introjec-
what his developmental and relational theories tions that form the core of a life script are
had to offer and thereby diminished his own organized as script beliefs; how these core
creative extension of psychoanalytic and beliefs are manifested in behavior, fantasy, and
psychotherapy theory. physiological tensions; and how an individual
In the psychotherapy of shame and self- structures his or her perceptions and interpreta-
righteousness, as with many other psycho- tions of experience to provide reinforcement of
logical disturbances rooted in disturbances of script beliefs. It graphically depicts a cross sec-
relationship, the therapy is enhanced if the tion of the script-how the life script is lived
psychotherapist has a consistent and cohesive out in the here-and-now.
relationship-oriented theoretical basis for deter- The script system correlates with ego state
mining treatment planning and subsequent theory while providing an alternative perspec-
clinical interventions. Although several defini- tive on the organization of introjections and/or
tions of script exist in the transactional analysis defensive reactions- the exteropsychic and ar-
literature (Cornell, 1988; Massey, 1989), the chaeopsychic fixations of the ego. These fixa-
following definition of script (Erskine, 1980) tions, in the form of script beliefs, serve as
is provided as a basis for correlating Berne's cognitive defenses against awareness of the
original definitions of ego states with an opera- needs and feelings present at an earlier age
tional definition of life script and as ground for when need-fulfilling interpersonal contact was
a consistent discussion of psychodynamics and missing and script beliefs were formed or in-
psychotherapeutic methods: Script is a life plan trojected. When operational, the script system
based on introjections and/or defensive reac- depicts contamination of the Adult ego by
tions made under pressure, at any developmen- Parent and Child ego states.
tal age, which inhibit spontaneity and limit The script system is defined as a "self-
flexibility in problem solving and in relating to reinforcing, distorted system of feelings,
people. thoughts and actions maintained by script-
These introjectionsand/or defensive reac- bound individuals" (Erskine & Zalcman, 1979,
tions occur under the pressure of failures in a p. 53). In a child's attempt to make sense of
contactful and supportive relationship. The the experience of a lack of contact in relation-
needs for contact and related feelings of loss ship he or she is faced with answering the ques-
of relationship are denied and suppressed in the tion: "What does a person like me do in a
adoption of defensive reactions and introjec- world like this with people like you?" When
tions. This defensive process forms the "intra- the child is under pressure from a lack of con-
psychic core of the script" (Erskine, 1980, tact in relationship that acknowledges,
p. 104). validates, or fulfills needs, each of the three
Since its initial presentation in 1975 by Erskine parts of this question may be answered with a
and Zalcman and its publication in 1979 as "The defensive reaction and/or the unconscious

94 Transactional Analysis Journal

 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

defensive identification with the other that con- serves as a cognitive defense against awareness
stitutesintrojection. When the introjections and of the needs for relationship and the feelings
the defensive conclusions and decisions are not of sadness and fear present at the time of the
responded to by a contactful, empathic other humiliating experiences.
person, they often become, in an attempt to gain When the script belief "Something's wrong
self-support, fixated beliefs about self, others, with me" is operational, the overt behaviors
and the quality of life-the core of the life of the script display are often those that are de-
script. These script beliefs function as a scribed as inhibited or inadequate: shyness, lack
cognitivedefense against awareness of the feel- of eye contact in conversation, lack of self-
ings and needs for contact in relationship that expression, diminished expression of natural
were not adequately responded to at the time wants or needs, or any inhibition of natural ex-
when the script beliefs were formed. The pression of one's self that may be subject to
presence of script beliefs indicates a continu- criticism.
ing defense against the awareness of needs for Fantasies may include anticipating inade-
contact in relationship and the full memory of quacy, failures in performance, or criticism that
disruptions in relationship. concludes with a reinforcement of the script
The script display consists of all the overt and belief "Something is wrong with me." Other
internal behaviors that are manifestations of the fantasies may involve a rehashing of events and
scriptbeliefs and denied feelings and needs. The reshaping memory in such a way as to reinforce
scriptdisplay also includes the reported internal the core script beliefs. In some cases, the script
belief is manifested in physiological restrictions
experiences of physiologicaltension and the fan-
such as headaches, stomach tensions, or other
tasies that support the script beliefs by providing
physical discomforts that inhibit the individual
reinforcing experiences. The reinforcing ex-
from behaving in a way that might be subject
periences are the selected recall of transactions,
to humiliating comments from others, while
fantasy, and bodily sensations that reinforce the simultaneously providing internal evidence that
script belief. Those experiences that do not "Something's wrong with me." Often old
reinforce the script beliefs are often negated memories of humiliating experiences are
(Erskine & Moursund, 1988, pp. 33-36). repeatedly recalled to maintain a homeostasis
In Robert's case, during elementary school with core script beliefs and denial of the
he adopted the core script belief "Something original needs and feelings. Yet in inhibiting
is wrong with me" in compliance with the one's self or in self-criticizing fantasies, the
humiliation by the children and teachers and as need for contact in relationship remains as an
a pseudosatisfaction of his need to be accepted unaware hope for the reestablishment of a con-
by them. From the perspective of ego state tactful relationship and for full acceptance by
theory, the core of Robert's sense of shame the other. It is as if he were saying to those who
consists of a child's defensive transposition of did the ridiculing, "If! become what you define
sadness and fear, a disavowal of anger at not me to be, then will you love me?"
being treated respectfully, a fixated diminished Robert, as an example of someone using the
self-concept in compliance with the introjected dynamics of a double defense of self-
criticism, and a child's need for contact-in- righteousness, entered therapy unaware of any
relationship. This natural need for relationship hope or need for relationship. His script display
keeps the Child ego states dependent and loyal- appeared to be the opposite of his script belief:
ly attached to a Parent ego state and ensures He perfected his speech and behavior in such
compliance with the introjected humiliation. a way that there was no external evidence that
When the pain of not being accepted as one is "Something's wrong with me." His fantasies
becomes too great, as in Robert's situation, a were self-righteous, focusing on what was
defensive self-righteous fantasy may be used wrong with the other. He remained hypersen-
to deny the need for relationship while sitive to criticism with an unaware longing for
simultaneously expressing the need to make an someone in authority to tell him he was OK.
impact and be treated respectfully.
From the perspective of script theory, the "Something's Wrong With Me"
sense of shame is comprised of the core script The compounded and continual reinforce-
belief "Something's wrong with me" that ment of the script belief" Something is wrong

Vol. 24, No.2, April 1994 95

RICHARD G. ERSKINE

with me" presents the therapist with complex In many cases the message is delivered in the
challenges specific and unique to the psycho- form of a criticizing question: "What's wrong
therapy of shame and self-righteousness. In with you?" The psychological message is,
many clinical cases this particular script belief "You wouldn't be doing what you are doing
is inflexible in response to the frequently used if you were normal (or OK)." Such criticism
transactional analysis methods of explanation, fails to value the child's natural and spon-
confrontation, and interpretation; programmed taneous behavior, understand the child's
redecision; an emphasis on behavioral change; motivation, or investigate what may be miss-
or dogmatic reparenting. Each of these sets of ing in the relationship between the child and
methods provides only partial or temporary the person doing the criticizing. A child who
change in the frequency or the intensity of the forms such a script belief in compliance with
complex script belief that is at the core of shame criticism may become hypersensitive to
and self-righteousness. In fact, the very use of criticism, fantasize anticipated criticisms, and
these methods frequently communicates collect reinforcing memories of past criticisms.
"Something is wrong with you," which then The intrapsychic function is to maintain a sense
can reinforce the core script belief, increase of attachment in the relationship at the expense
denial of the need for contact in relationship, of a loss in natural vitality and the excitement
and thereby increase the sense of shame or self- of spontaneity.
righteousness. Through the use of methods that When children are faced with an impossible
emphasize respect (Erskine & Moursund, task, they often conclude, "Something's wrong
1988); empathic transactions (Clark, 1991); with me. " With such a conclusion they can de-
emotional engagement (Cornell & Olio, 1992); fend against the discomfort of the missing con-
and gentle inquiry, affective attunement, and tact needs and maintain a pseudosemblance of
involvement (Erskine, 1991a; Erskine, 1993; relationship. Dysfunctional families often pre-
Erskine & Trautmann, 1993), the opportunity sent impossible demands to children. It is im-
for reinforcement of the script belief during the possible for a young child to stop an alcoholic
therapy process is considerably lessened. parent from getting drunk, or for a baby to cure
In order to facilitate treatment planning and depression, or for an elementary school child
refine clinical interventions, it is essential to to be a marriage therapist. It is impossible for
distinguish the intrapsychic functions as well a child to change gender to satisfy a parent's
as the historical origins of the core script belief. desire to have a dream fulfilled. Each of these
The complex historical origin of "Something examples represents a reversal of the care-
is wrong with me" within the Child ego states taker's responsibility for the welfare of the child
can be understood from three perspectives: and a loss of contact in relationship. Further
- messages with compliant decisions; disruptions in relationship are experienced as
- conclusions in response to an impossibility; "my fault," and they deflect from awareness
and of needs and feelings present when the welfare
- defensive reactions of hope and control. of the child is not being honored.
Each of the ways in which the script belief was The script belief "Something is wrong with
formed has unique intrapsychic functions that me" may be formed in a third way-as a defen-
require specific emphasis in psychotherapy. sive reaction of control and hope, the hope for
The concept of injunction and counterinjunc- a continuing and contactful relationship. When
tions, malevolent attributions, and lethal paren- family relationships are dysfunctional, a child,
tal messages with corresponding compliant needing contact in relationship, may imagine
decisions is well-established in the theory of that the caretaker's problems are the child's
script formation (Berne, 1972; Goulding & fault: "I made dad get drunk," or "I made
Goulding, 1979; Steiner, 1971). In the face of mother get depressed," or "I caused the sex-
a potential loss of relationship, a child may be ual abuse to happen ... so, therefore,
forced to make a defensive, compliant decision something must be wrong with me!" By tak-
to accept as his identity the definition of those ing the blame, the child is not only the source
on whom he is dependent. This may be an adap- of the problem, but can also imagine being in
tation to and compliance with overt or implicit control of solving the problem: "I'll be very
messages of "Something's wrong with you." good," "I'll hurry up and grow up," "I can

96 Transactional Analysis Journal

 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

go to therapy to get fixed," or "If things get states of the ego (Erskine, 1991a). The func-
very bad I can kill myself because it is all my tions are once again provided through contact
fault. " The function of such reactions is to in an interpersonal relationship and are no
create a hopeful illusion of need-fulfilling longer a self-protective function.
caretakers that defends against the awareness
of a lack of need fulfillment within the primary Shame in the Parent Ego States
relationships. The caretakers are experienced When the core script belief within a Child
as good and loving, and any ignoring, criticiz- ego state is formed either as compliant deci-
ing, beating, or even raping is because sions, conclusions in response to an impossibili-
"Something's wrong with me." Here the core ty, defensive reactions of hope and control, or
script belief may function as a defensive con- any combination of these three, there is most
trol of the feelings of vulnerability in likely an absence of a caring, understanding,
relationship. and communicating relationship. When there
Within the Child ego states, each of these is a lack of full psychological contact between
three origins of the core script belief has a child and the adults responsible for his or her
specific intrapsychic functions of identity, welfare, the defense of introjection is frequently
stability, and continuity. With a particular per- used. Through the defensive, unaware iden-
son there may be only one way the script belief tification that constitutes introjection, the
was formed. Frequently, however, the core beliefs, attitudes, feelings, motivations,
script beliefs have more than one origin and behaviors, and defenses of the person on whom
multiple intrapsychic functions. Any combina- the child is dependent are made part of the
tion of these three defensive reactions made child's ego in the form of a fragmented, ex-
under pressure increases the complexity of the teropsychic state. The function of introjection
functions. The core script belief "Something's is to reduce the external conflict between the
wrong with me" is often compounded by these child and the person on whom the child depends
multiple functions. for need fulfillment. The introjected Parent ego
It is essential in an in-depth psychotherapy state may be active in transactions with others,
of script cure to assess the origins and intra- intrapsychically influencing, or phenomeno-
psychic functions of a script belief and to value logically experienced as self.
the significanceof how those multiple functions An active Parent ego state may transact with
help the client to maintain psychological family members or colleagues as the introjected
homeostasis. The psychotherapy of shame and other once did, for example, communicating,
self-righteousness is complex because of the "Something's wrong with you!" The function
compounded and continually reinforcing multi- of such a transaction is to provide temporary
ple intrapsychic functions. Merely to identify relief in a Child ego state from the internal
a script belief and attempt methods of change criticism of a Parent ego state and to continue
or redecision overlooks the psychological func- denial of the original need for contact-
tions in forming and maintaining the script in-relationship.
belief. Such efforts may increase the intensity The intrapsychically influencing Parent ego
of the intrapsychic function and may make the state is a replay of the criticism introjected in
fixed core of the script less flexible. A respect- the past. It perpetuates the cycle of compliance
ful and patient inquiry into the client's with the criticism and the defensiveness of
phenomenological experience is required to sadness and fear within a Child ego state. This
learn the unique combination of intrapsychic defensive cycle of shame functions to maintain
functions. It is then the task of a relationship- an illusion of attachment and loyalty to the per-
oriented psychotherapist to establish an son with whom the child was originally long-
affective, developmental attunement and in- ing for a contactful relationship.
volvement that provides for the transferring of Shame in the Parent ego state not only may
defensive intrapsychic functions to the relation- be active and/or influencing, but it may also
ship with the therapist. Through the therapist's be experienced as self. The parent's sense of
consistency, dependability, and responsibility shame may have been introjected. With the
in contact-in-relationship, the client can relax cathexis of the introject the shame is misiden-
defensive processes and integrate fragmented tified as one's own (Erskine, 1977). The script

Vol. 24, No.2, April 1994 97

RICHARD G. ERSKINE

belief "Something's wrong with me" may ac- ever-increasing understanding of who the client
tually exist in a Parent ego state. The cycle of is and the experiences to which he or she has
shame-compliance with the criticism, been subjected. The process of inquiring must
transposition of sadness and fear, the disavowal be sensitive to the client's subjective experience
of anger, and longing for relationship-may be and unaware intrapsychic dynamics to be ef-
mother's or father's. Defensive self-righteous- fective in discovering and revealing needs, feel-
ness may also be the result of the cathexis of ings, fantasies, and defenses. A major focus of
an introjection. a gentle inquiry is the client's self-discovery of
For example, for years Susan suffered with longing for relationship, interruptions to con-
a debilitating shame related to her own sense tact (both internally and externally), and
of inadequacy, having a mother who was alter- memories that in the past necessarily have been
nately depressed and angry, and the fear that excluded from awareness. An important but
she would someday be "crazy" too. The ini- lesser focus is the psychotherapist's increased
tial phase of therapy acknowledged her own understanding of the client's phenomenological
needs for attention, validated the emotional experience and intrapsychic functioning. In
neglect of her childhood, and normalized the many cases it has been important to clients to
defensive process of "Something's wrong with discover that the therapist is genuinely in-
me. " Psychotherapy then focused on the intro- terested in listening to them and in knowing
jected shame that was originally mother's. With who they are. Such discoveries about the rela-
a contact-oriented in-depth psychotherapy with tionship with the psychotherapist present a jux-
the Parent ego state that emphasized inquiry, taposition (Erskine, 1993) between the contact
attunement, and involvement, Susan was able available in the here-and-now and the memory
to vividly remember wanting to bear the burden of what may have been absent in the past. The
for her mother so her mother could be free of juxtaposition presents an opportunity to
suffering. During a Child ego state to Parent acknowledge what was needed and to validate
ego state dialogue, she succinctly described the that feelings and self-esteem may well be
process: "I love you so much, Mom, I'll carry related to the quality of relationship with
your shame for you!" significant others.
Shame may be a significant dynamic in most
Clinical Interventions relationship difficulties, including depression,
The psychotherapy of shame and self- anxiety, obesity, addictions, and characterolog-
righteousness begins with the therapist newly ical presentations. The therapist's attunement
discovering each client's unique psychody- to the unexpressed sense of shame provides the
namics. Each shame-based client will present opportunity for clients to reveal their inner pro-
a different cluster of behaviors, fantasies, in- cesses of feelings, fantasies, desires, and
trapsychic functions, and self-protective defenses. Attunement involves a sense of be-
defenses. The theoretical perspectives de- ing fully aware of the developmentally based
scribed in this article are generalizations from needs, affect, and self-protective dynamics-a
clinical practice and the integration of several kinesthetic and emotional sensing of what it is
theoretical concepts. The theory is not meant like to live with their experiences. Attunement
to represent a statement of what is, but rather occurs when the therapist honors the client's
to serve as a guide in the therapeutic process developmental level of coping with shame and
of inquiry, attunement, and involvement. Im- avoids defining or categorizing the client's fan-
portantly, the phenomena of shame and self- tasies, motivations, or behavior. Attunement
righteousness explained from the perspective also involves sensitively communicating to the
of transactional analysis theory may encourage client that the therapist is aware of the client's
transactional analysts to explore with each inner struggles-that the client is not all alone
client his or her unique experience of shame in the sadness at not having been accepted as
and to adopt a relationship-oriented psycho- one is, and in the fear of loss of relationship
therapy approach. because of who one is. The therapeutic pro-
A patient, respectful inquiry into the client's cesses of attunement and involvement
phenomenological experience will provide acknowledge the difficulty in revealing one's
both the client and the therapist with an inner confusion and struggles, value the

98 Transactional Analysis Journal

 SHAME AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS: TA PERSPECTIVES AND CLINICAL INTERVENTIONS

desperate attempt at self-support and coping, for his or her phenomenological experiences.
and simultaneously provide a sense of the It evolves from the therapist's empathic inquiry
therapist's presence. into the client's experience and is developed
Some shame-based clients will not have had through the therapist's attunement with the
the experience of talking about needs or have client's affect and validation of needs. Involve-
a sense of language that is related to affect and ment is the result of the therapist being fully
inner processes. In some families, to have contactful with and for the client in a way that
needs or express emotion may result in the child corresponds to the client's developmental level
being ignored or ridiculed. When there has of functioning (Clark, 1991).
been a lack of attunement, acknowledgment, Shame and self-righteousness are defensive
or validation of needs or feelings within the processes wherein an individual's worth is dis-
family or school system, the client may have counted and the existence, significance, and/or
no language of relationship with which to com- solvability of a relationship disturbance is
municate about his or her affect and needs distorted or denied. A therapist's involvement
(Basch, 1988; Tustin, 1986). There is often an using acknowledgment, validation, normaliza-
absence in such family or school systems of the tion, and presence diminishes the internal dis-
interpersonal affective contact (a nonverbal counting (Schiff & Schiff, 1971) that is part of
transaction) in which the expression of affect the defensive denial accompanying shame.
by one person in relationship stimulates a cor- Through sensitivity to the manifestation of
responding affect of reciprocity in the other. shame and in understanding the intrapsychic
Affectis transactional-relational in its nature, functions of shame and self-righteousness, a
requiring a corresponding affect in resonance. psychotherapist can guide a client to acknowl-
The expression of the affect sadness requires edge and express feelings and needs for rela-
the reciprocal affect of compassion and possi- tionship. Acknowledgment is the therapeutic
ble acts of compassion; the expression of the antidote to discounting the existence of a disturb-
affect anger requires the' reciprocal affects of ance in relationship. Acknowledgment becomes
attentiveness, seriousness, and responsibility internal anddissolves the denial of affect or needs
and perhaps acts of correction; the expression when given by a receptive other who knows and
of the affect fear requires reciprocal affects and communicates about needs and feelings.
actions related to security; and the expression Therapeutic validation occurs when the
of the affect joy requires the reciprocal affects client's sense of shame, diminished self-worth,
of vitality and expression of pleasure. and defensive fantasies are experienced as the
Attunement includes the therapist's sensing effect of significant relationship disturbances.
of the client's affect, and in reciprocity he or she Validation is the cognitive linking of causeand
is stimulated to express a corresponding affect effect, the therapeutic response to discounting
and resonating behavior, a process similar to the the significance of a disturbance in relationship.
one Stem (1985) described in healthy interaction Validation provides a client with an enhanced
between an infant and his or her mother. The value of phenomenological experience and
reciprocal affect in the therapist may be expressed therefore an increased sense of self-esteem.
by acknowledging the client's affect and leads to Normalization involves depathologizing and
validation that affect has a function in their rela- countering the discounting of the solvability of
tionship. It is essential that the therapist be both a relationship disturbance. Many clients as
knowledgeable of and attuned to the client's children were told "Something's wrong with
developmental level in the expression of emo- you" or, when faced with the impossibility of
tions. The client may need to have his or her being responsible for their parents' welfare,
affect and needs acknowledged, but lack the they concluded "Something's wrong with me."
social language to express the emotions in con- The burden of responsibility for the rupture in
versation. It may be necessary for the therapist the relationship was falsely placed on the child
to help the client name his or her feelings, and not on a grown-up caretaker. The
needs, or experiences as an initial step in gain- therapeutic antidote to discounting the solvabili-
ing a sense of making an impact in relationship. ty of a problem is the assigning of responsibility
Involvement begins with the therapist's com- for the relationship. It is imperative that the
mitment to the client's welfare and a respect therapist communicate that a client's experience

Vol. 24. No.2. April 1994 99

RICHARD G. ERSKINE

of shame, self-criticism, or anticipated ridicule a way of being in relationship, as well as sets

are normal defense reactions to being of therapeutic skills. When used in resonance
humiliated or ignored, and that these responses with the developmental level of a client's func-
are not pathological. tioning, they are methods of providing a car-
The assignment of responsibility may begin ing, understanding relationship that allows a
with a therapist actively taking responsibility client to express a sense of self-value that may
for any breach in the therapeutic relationship. never have been expressed before. Inquiry, at-
Most therapeutic breaks occur when a therapist tunement, and involvement are descriptions of
fails to attune to the client's affective or nonver- respectful interactions that foster contact-in-
bal communication (Kohut, 1984). When a relationship. It is through a contact-oriented,
client bears the responsibility for the relation- relationship psychotherapy that protective
ship, the discounting of the solvability continues dynamics of shame and self-righteousness are
and the sense of shame is reinforced. It may revealed and dissolved. A psychotherapeutic
be necessary for a therapist to take total respon- focus on contact-in-relationship enhances an in-
sibility for not understanding the client's dividual's sense of OKness.
phenomenological experience, not valuing his
or her defensive process, or not being attuned Richard G. Erskine, Ph.D., TSTA (clinical),
to the client's affect and needs. is the training director of the Institute for In-
Presence is the therapeutic involvement that tegrative Psychotherapy, New York City. Please
serves as an antidote to the discounting of an send reprint requests to Dr. Erskine at the In-
individual's self-worth. Therapeutic presence stitute for Integrative Psychotherapy, 500 East
is provided through sustained empathic inquiry 85th Street, Penthouse B, New York, NY,
(Stolorow, Brandschaft, & Atwood, 1987) and ]0028, USA.
consistent attunement to the developmental
level of affect and needs. Presence involves the REFERENCES
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dividual psychology of Alfred Adler. New York: Basic
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when the behavior and communication of the cess. New York: Jason Aronson.
therapist at all times respects and enhances the Basch, M. (1988). Understanding psychotherapy. New
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Bergman, S. J. (1991). Men's psychological development:
therapist's willingness to be impacted by the A relational perspective. Work in Progress, #48.
client's affect and phenomenological Wellesley, MA: Stone Center Working Paper Series.
experience-to take the client's experience Berne, E. (1961). Transactional analysis in psychotherapy:
seriously. A systematic individual and social psychiatry. New York:
Grove Press.
The psychotherapist's involvement through Berne, E. (1964). Games people play: The psychology of
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